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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:06:13 GMT -5
Seconds later, he emerges, rolling a Xerox copier in front of him. The crowd goes nuts again. Hardcore Jay begins to run up the ramp after Jenero, but turns around and gets back into the ring as Jenero lets the copier go flying down the ramp. It hits the apron and stops, hitting no one in its path. Loco gets back up, only to fall back to the ground after a tope by Jay. Jay gets up, as Jenero reaches them down at ringside. Jenero smashes Jay’s head against the copier, before putting him onto top of it. Jenero climbs onto the copier and hits the Kabuki Death on Hardcore Jay. But before Jenero can pin, he is struck in the head by something. Kabane’s sub hits Jenero in the head. Loco is holding it. Kabane is in the ring sobbing. Loco gives the sub back, when he brings Jay into the ring.
1......2.........3
Philip: Hardcore Jay has been eliminated.
Jenero is quickly back in the ring as a meatball sub doesn’t really hurt too much when hit with it. Loco dropkicks him before he has a chance to get to close. Loco sets up on the top rope, and Jenero staggers to his feet. Loco jumps off the top rope, attempting to do a hurricanrana but fails. Jenero catches Loco and pulls a sit out powerbomb. Both men are knocked out. The referee should be counting for a knockout, but can’t as he has left the ring. Kabane has to run to Subway to get another sub or two.
A man now starts approaching ringside. It isn’t another referee. It looks like an ACW superstar. It looks like.....BK London. But it isn’t. He has the same ring gear and body size. Hell, he even has the birthmark that looks like a penis that BK London has that he doesn’t know about. But this BK London has the same face as Jenero and Loco and everyone else in this match. It is...
BK Londen. It even says so on his ring boots. He jumps into the ring, and before he does anything, he does a Bob Orton pose. He then climbs the ring post furthest away from El Loco. He signals for the “From Burger King to Londen” and goes for the Cannonball to SSP maneuver. But this ex-World Champion wannabe watches Brock Lesner matches and falls short of Loco, almost breaking his neck. Loco then gets up but falls, on Jenero. Kabane continently comes through the crowd and counts the pin.
Philip: And the winner of this match is.....EL LOCO!!!
EMTs come down to bring BK Londen, and carry him halfway up the ramp before dropping him of the stretcher, and running away, not caring. The crowd doesn’t even notice Loco or Jenero leave. They probably didn’t even notice that match...
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:06:42 GMT -5
Segment: Hot On His Trail Part 2- Sexual Solutions (Credit: Rena)
Time for another glance at Rena’s fantasies. Now, where were we….?
Rena: So why did you do it?
Victor looked over at her from across the room. She was balled up in the corner of the kitchen while he sat at the table, tapping the barrel of the gun on the glass table-top. He shook his head and glared at her with those still cold ice-blue eyes that glare at her not a few hours ago.
Victor: I didn’t do it…That’s why I escaped. To find the one who did do it.
Rena: So you escaped, injured a cop, and kidnapped a defenseless woman all in one package in hopes to find the person who did this?
Victor: That’s right…
Rena: You’re going to fry already for the other things even if you are cleared of the murder charge.
Victor: Maybe. But it’s sure as hell better than going down for something I didn’t do. At least with those charges, I know I committed them.
Rena looked up and looked him in the eyes. His ice-chilled eyes softened to a deeper color, which instantly made Rena believe him. She had no idea why, but something about him made her believe he was in fact innocent. She half-smiled to him, and then realized what he had done to her. She then frowned and pulled her eyes away from him, fixating herself on some object on the counter-tops. He laughed, making her focus back to him.
Rena: What’s so funny?
Victor: You’re face.
Rena: Real mature. You know-
Victor: I meant your expression. You sort of smiled, and then got all bitchy again.
Rena: I am not bitchy. I am acting rationale for how you treated me!
There was a short silence as they both stared at each other. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, letting out an angry puff.
Victor: Well I’m sorry.
Rena looked at him and grinned, taking a cigarette out of her package. She lit it and started puffing on it.
Rena: Then let’s catch him…
Victor: hmm?
Rena: Let’s catch who really did it.
Victor: OH NO. I’m going to let you leave, and I will find him myself.
Rena: Just let me help. It’s a great-
Victor: Story? That’s all the fuck I am…A great fucking story! Well now your story is over. Get out!
He jumped to the door and opened it up, waving an arm to show her he wanted her out.
Rena: no.
Victor: Yes.
Rena: Mr. Laureano, I have no need to leave. You need me for my connections, and you know it. I have a cell phone, and no one will be able to trace it.
Victor: I don’t fucking need you, now get out!
Rena stood up and rushed to the table. Fuck, he left the damn gun laying there. She pointed it at him, showing she knew how to handle it.
Rena: I’m not leaving…
Victor: Put the gun down…
Rena: No, Mr. Laureano…Not until you agree to let me stay.
Victor stood at the door, swore, and slammed it shut.
Victor: Fine.
She put the gun down and puffed on her smoke again. She smiled and sat across from him now at the table.
Rena: How’s your leg?
Victor: It’s just great.
Rena: Don’t be bitchy. Let me check it out…
He pressed his bleeding leg out form under the table. The bandage they applied to it was oozing with blood, and she probably needed to fix it up again.
Rena: Let’s get it cleaned…
Victor: I can do it.
Rena: No, let me-
Victor: Let me-
Rena: Stop.
She grabbed his hand away from the wound. Something shocked inside her…something she never felt before. She shook her head, and noticed he shook his also. What was it?
Rena: Just let me do it… let’s go to the bathroom. Thank god it only graced your skin. It should be bleeding for a day and it should be fine.
Victor leaned into her and smiled.
Victor: Good. Then we can work on finding out who did this.
Rena: ok.
--Four moths have passed since the kidnapping, and luckily they have been able to stay low key and out of the world’s eye. Just a few phone calls here and there to Rena’s brother, a private detective, helped them out with the case a tiny bit…but it seemed that in that amount of time, they were still nowhere.—
Rena leaned against the table looking up at Vincent, shirtless and wearing tight-fitting acid-washed jeans. She smiled at him and looked through her notes. God he was so hot today, she thought.
Rena: Ok, so we have not found anything in four months.
Victor: Well, not exactly…
Rena: Close to nothing…This doesn’t look good Victor.
Victor: Hmm? You called me Victor.
Rena: Yes…
Victor: You never called me Victor.
Rena: Well In 4 month time, I should be calling you anything I want.
Victor: And you can…
Rena looked back at him, passion flaring in her eyes. She could see him standing straight up at her, and she wanted him more than anything. In the past four months something grew on them, something they both could no longer brush off. She pushed herself off of the table and moved over to him.
Rena: How about I call you-
It was too late... Nothing was said as he pushed her over to him. She slammed into him as they both fall back onto the wall. She smiled and began to kiss him, with such force and passion her head was spinning. Vincent moved his fingers through her hair, feeling the softness through his fingertips. He shuddered at her graceful touches on his hardened nipples and rock-hard body. He moved and began to suck on her neck, evoking deep moans from within her. If this is what love felt like, she was missing out in so many years. She smiled and reached for his belt, unbuckling it with such speed that it broke. She giggled, and he looked down as the belt unraveled to the floor. Lips now pressed upon each other, they made their way to the bedroom. She flopped on the bed, him coming tumbling down on top of her. She felt no weight on her, just the desire and care flowing out of each other with every kiss they shared.
Victor: I want you so bad…
Rena: I want you so bad too…
He reached for his pants and ripped them down to his ankles, kicking them off. He removed every article of clothing, and they were both now naked. Intertwined with one another, Rena wrapped her legs around him as he pushed himself inside her with care. She let out a deep breath, and then took one in. The pressure was hard, but it surpassed after a few kisses from Victor. He smiled, now all inside her. He started moving n and out, back and forth…with Rena rocking along with him. It was if they were in sync with one another that blew their minds. After a few moments, he began to get faster and rougher…but she took it. She liked every moment they spent together, and she was enjoying this just as much as he was. After they were done, they both laid in the bed, naked. She looked over at him and laid her arm over his moving chest. She kissed his nipple, and closed her eyes.
Fade out…
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:07:34 GMT -5
Segment: The one serious bit in the entire show (Credit: RDK)
The scene fades in from black as RDK is shown with his hands shoved in his pockets as the wind blows loudly outside of the arena. He is preparing for his match, however it looks like he has something to say as he looks up at the camera, wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt.
Randy: Well brudahs, here I am again, and it doesn't seem like Yoko Satoshi seems to care. Brudahs, I did lose to Kudo Yasuda last week....I did lose to Genocide...maybe I am not worthy of the #1 contendership?
RDK continues to walk outside the arena, kicking away stones and leaves. The leaves blow away in the wind and he chuckles as he looks back up at the camera again...
Randy: Yoko...heh, I know what your thinkin sista....but the fact of the matter is that I am still known as #1 contender. Genocide beat me, hell hes from HWL, that’s a completely different thing. Kudo beat me, well I'm gonna change what people think and defeat him here tonight, showing it was a fluke brudahs. I am the Macho man, I refuse to yield! Yoko, your ignorance is evident, but WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN MY MACHOESQUE ARMS GET AHOLD OF YOU? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YA GONNA DO, AND FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE! *sigh* Cause whatever the case, it happens at Heatwave. And until then I will have match after match to prove my worth as #1 contender! You think that your mallets and chains, kurt kobains, lesbianesque flirts and mini skirts, ARE GONNA STOP ME? You cane take that bunny, shine it up real nice, TURN IT SIDEWAYS, AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP, YOUR ASIAN ASS!
RDK does the fuck off sign as he jumps in the air. He then shakes his arms and then looks at the camera, pointing with his finger...
Randy: I'll do whatever it takes to get my message out to you Yoko, even if it means I have to do it in the ring.
Fade Out
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:08:06 GMT -5
Metal Gear ACW – Part IV (Credit: Hunter) Latino walks out of the room and starts looking around random rooms, mumbling, “package, package” under his breath. Latino walks into a room and finds a cardboard box. Inside the box he finds many copies of “Metal Gear Solid.” He raises an eyebrow, then slowly takes the box and flips it over.Latino: Oh, I see. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!AK: Who are you? Latino: I was impressed with you, mamacita. Back in el prison. AK: Er…right. You’re the one from the prison? Latino: Are you the colonel’s niece? AK: I suppose so. Who are you? Latino: Mamacita, yo soy el muchacho that your aunt sent in this hellhole. AK: You’re by yourself? What do you think you are, a one-man army? Latino: No me necesito tú lectures. You’re just like your aunt. AK: How do you know my aunt? Latino: No es importante. AK: Ah! You’re the infamous Latino Snake! Latino: Er…um…no I’m not. AK: Yes you are! I can’t believe it! Latino: I don’t live up to the legend, mamacita. Well…only in bed. AK: Right, I’ll hold you to that. Latino: SÍ!!! AK: …I’m sorry about how I reacted back there. You just look so much like him… Latino: Who? AK: The terrorist leader…Liquid…is he your brother? Latino: Es possible. I have at least twenty-three siblings I don’t know of. AK: Listen, Latino, you already know about Metal Gear, right? Latino: Sí. AK: Go find Dr. Emmerich. He’ll help you out. I’m going to open the cargo door for you. It’ll be easier for you to get to his lab. Latino: Muchas gracias, senorita. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!Latino turns off the codec and runs back toward the elevator. He gets on and rides the elevator to the first floor, then slowly exits and hides under a tank. He sees a soldier pass right next to him. He quickly runs out and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a “Tits ‘N Guns” magazine. He kisses it.Latino: I’m sorry baby. He throws it down and hops back under the tank. The soldier walks by, then stops and crouches down.Soldier: Oh…my…GOD! Latino jumps out and pulls a sombrero out of his pocket, then begins beating the soldier with it.Latino: DIE REBEL SCUM!!!!!! Upon the death of the soldier, Latino takes the bloody sombrero and puts it on, then performs a stirring rendition of the Mexican hat dance around the soldier’s dead body. Just then, the cargo door opens. He throws away the sombrero and runs to the cargo area.BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!AK: Latino, I unlocked the door for you. Latino: Gracias, mamacita. Where are you? AK: Where I can see you… Latino: Oooh, sexy. AK: Right. Now, Latino, the cargo door is like an airlock. It’s equipped with infrared sensors. If an intruder is sensed, gas is released. Latino: AY CARAMBA!!! AK: I’ll see you in the storage building. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!Latino turns toward the cargo area and starts pondering to himself. He then takes out a Cuban cigar and lights it, then takes a long drag.Latino: WOAH THAS A NICE CUBAN CIGAR! He blows smoke into the area and he sees the infrared sensors. Slowly and cautiously, he makes it past the sensors and opens the door, stepping outside into a winter landscape, about to meet one of his biggest challenges.BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!?: Latino, be careful. There are mines in front of you. Latino: Qué? Who are you? Deepthroat: Just call me Deepthroat. Latino: Deepthroat? Sounds sexy… Deepthroat: … Latino: …sí? Deepthroat: There’s also a tank waiting to ambush you. Be prepared. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!Latino looks forward at the flat snowy landscape in front of him. He turns to the right and sees another pathway behind a rock. He shrugs and simply walks around the mines that way. Suddenly, he hears a loud noise. He takes out his gun and stands at the ready. Suddenly, an enormous tank appears in front of him. The hatch opens and a man appears.Cernunnos: I am Vulcan Cernunnos. This is Vulcan territory. Mexicans don’t belong here. Latino: Qué? RACISM!!! Suddenly, Cernunnos is pushed out of the way and another man appears next to him.Hitman: I am the Hitman of the Ravens! This is Raven territory- Cernunnos: Get back in the tank! I’m the real Vulcan! Hitman: Fuck you! I’m the real Raven! Cernunnos: ONLY THE TRUE DEITY CAN DESTROY LATINO! Hitman: And that’s me! I AM RAVEN! Cernunnos: I AM VULCAN! Latino, by this time, has taken out a grenade and rolled it into the tank’s cannon. The bickering pair looks at him. Latino smirks, and a great explosion follows. The tank is still, and Latino moves on. He opens the door and walks into the storage facility. Unbeknownst to him, the people inside the tank are still alive. Cernunnos and Hitman make their way out of the tank. Cernunnos turns on his own radio.Cernunnos: Well boss, I hope you’re happy. He beat us. ?: Yes, because you’re blundering idiots. But regardless, we’ll play with the Jabroni a little longer. Hitman: You shouldn’t underestimate him. He DID defeat us… ?: Interesting. What did you think of him? Cernunnos: He is like you said. In battle, it’s as if he’s possessed by a demon. I would expect no less. Elias Ocelot’s voice comes over the radio.Elias: You see? I told you so. But I WILL kill him. Hitman: So, General Elias, I heard he took your arm as well as you dignity. Elias: Watch your tongue, deity. Cernunnos: I’M THE DEITY DAMN YOU! Elias: Anyway, Snake is mine now. When I meet him next, I’ll take special care of him. ?: Not yet, brudah. Don’t kill him yet. Hitman: I will meet him again in battle. Elias: Same prediction as always? Cernunnos: The Vulcan thirsts for his blood… Hitman: No, the Raven! Cernunnos: VULCAN! Hitman: RAVEN! The radio turns off and the two men push each other into the tank.
Fade Out
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:08:45 GMT -5
Match 4: The Senator vs. 3 Opponents - Gauntlet Style Match (Credit: The Senator)
As the crowd finally starts to quiet down from their anticipation, Phillip takes the mike to start the next match.
Phillip: This match will be a three man gauntlet match, the Senator must defeat three consecutive opponents to walk out victorious. Announcing first, the Senator, Steve Phillips!
The Senator walks out and promptly dashes to the ring, knowing that he has a long task ahead of him. Suddenly, Sky Walk plays, and a somewhat familiar masked figure walks out from the back.
Phillip: Coming all the way from New Japan Pro Wrestling, the Senator’s first opponent, Kendo Ka Shin!
The masked wrestler walks down to the ring, and shakes hands with the referee, next attempting to do so with the Senator, who starts to reach his hand out, but instead, pulls it back, continuing his stretching routine as the audience laughs. The Senator completes his stretching while Ka Shin stands watching, and then extends his own hand out for a handshake. Ka Shin gives the crowd a bewildered look, shaking his head, but decides to extend his hand anyway…leaping up and pulling the Senator down into one of his signature jujigatame cross armbars! The Senator seems to be caught off guard, but perhaps had thought a step ahead, as he quickly rolls towards Ka Shin, hooking his leg, and cradling him in the middle of his own move! …1
….2
…3!
Phillip: The Senator has defeated his first opponent!
The security escorts Ka Shin to the back, and it’s clear that he’s somewhat stunned by his quick loss. Not too long after he leaves, the lights dim, and a theme that nobody ever though or probably hoped would be heard in the ACW Arena plays:
“Your time is up, my time is now You can't see me, my time is now It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin’ now You can't see me, my time is now!”
Phillip: The Senator’s next opponent, the WWE Champion, John Cena!
The audience gives Cena a very mixed reaction, some of the less faithful ACW followers cheer their heads off, while a loud chorus of boos indicates that the Chain Gang might not be in full force in the Arena. Cena struts down the aisle, constantly spinning his belt along the way, and takes the microphone as he gets into the ring.
John Cener: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!
Eddie Edison (at the announcers table): Enough already!
Cena: Da Chain Gang’s in da house! Dat’s real recognizing real there! Hey Senator, I-
Cena gets interrupted by a thunderous blast of pyro on the stage for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. The crowd almost think they hear BK London say “shit” as he realizes he’s lent on the trigger in the van. Cena just shrugs, and gets on with his speech.
Cena: I hear that you have a habit of, uh, choking in big matches, so how bout you choke on deez nuts, cheapo!
Cena throws a bag of snack nuts at the Senator, who merely lets them bounce off his face and hit the mat, before motioning for a microphone of his own.
The Senator: Excuse me here, perhaps I have a hearing problem, but I have no idea what you just said. All grammatical arguments aside, Mr. Cena, I would purport to say that you are the prime example of what is wrong with…
The Senator unfortunately has no time to finish his sentence, as Cena drops his microphone, and knocks Phillips off his feet with a weakly executed clothesline. The Senator quickly snaps up to his feet, dropping Cena in turn with a ferocious Washington Lariat, clubbing his opponent in the face. Cena appears dazed by the move, as the Senator follows up with a series of flashing elbows, and starts kicking his opponent in the face. Cena rolls out of the ring to escape the assault, with the Senator striking his trademark victory pose in the middle of the ring. The WWE champion regains his focus, heading back into the ring, only to be met with a dropkick to the knees. Cena drops to one knee, receiving the Senator’s Shining Capitol flipping front heel kick. The Senator’s not done there, quickly getting back to his feet, throwing a few random kicks to the ribs, and picking Cena up into his vertical half crab, the Tax Cut. Cena yells like a little baby, and his face twists itself into bizarre contortions as he strains to reach the ropes, taking a good twenty seconds to make it there. The Senator hears the referee trying to break the hold, and does so, but not before stomping on Cena’s head a few times, Toshiaki Kawada style. As Cena gets back up again, the Senator smacks him in the face with an outside crescent kick, and as Cena tries to recover from that, he lands an inside crescent kick, repeating the process multiple times until Cena drops to the mat, with a face as red as a tomato.
Phillips picks up his opponent, and initiates a hammer throw, but Cena reverses it…into the deadly and sloppy sitdown hip toss!
Edison: Daaaanggerrooousss!
Maxwell McNally: Are you ok, Eddie?
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:09:37 GMT -5
Cena quickly picks the Senator up into a backdrop suplex, which he turns around into the---slowest---side---slam---ever---delivered! Cena quickly tells his opponent that “you can’t see me” with his trademark gesture, and bounces off the ropes, coming back, doing a really crappy victory pose, and dropping a sliding fist drop that lands flatly on the Senator’s shoulder.
Edison: No, THAT’S the most dangerous move ever!
McNally: Oh my goodness, Eddie has finally gone off the deep end all the way now…
Cena pumps up his shoes, despite the fact that they do not have the air pump feature, and stands ready to drop the Senator into the mat with the most dangerous fireman carry in the world…the Senator gets up to his feet…Cena catches him in the fireman carry…but wait, the Senator slides out of it, hooking Cena’s arms along the way, right into his backslide hold!
1…
2…
3…
Phillip: The Senator has defeated his second opponent!
Cena gets up to his feet in bewilderment, getting ready to throw a really crappy punch, but receives a stiff Partisan Kick for his efforts, and is dragged out, semi-conscious by security.
The crowd goes dead silent at this point, waiting for the next theme to play, although nobody’s quite sure what to think, including the Senator when “This Land is Your Land” plays, with a grey haired, intense looking man storms down the aisle to the ring.
Phillip: The Senator’s final opponent…former Vermont Governor, former United States Presidential Candidate, current Chairman of the DNC, Howard Dean?
Dean grabs Phillip’s microphone as he gets into the ring, and is nearly spitting as he yells into it.
Dean: YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHHH! The Deaniacs are here and ready to rumble! YEAAAHHHHHGGHHH! We came from Alabama, Vermont, London, France, Michigan, Washington DC, and all the way to the ACW Arena to take back a win! YEAHHHHGGGHHHH!
Senator: Now I have surely seen it all…
Dean: Senator Phillips, you are the reason our party’s losing! You are too moderate for the Democrats! You are a politician out for yourself, and I’m going to take you down, you stinking filthy conservative! YEAAAHHHGGHHHH!
Senator: Excuse me, security, this man’s clearly not in any shape to wrestle…
Dean suddenly gets right in the Senator’s face, nearly growling in sheer ferocity. The Senator for his part backs down, surprisingly, and rolls out of the ring, with Dean following in a storm. One of ACW’s notorious drunk fans splashes his drink on the irate DNC Chairman, who turns around with a raised fist. The Senator quietly backs up and re-enters the ring, while the referee counts away
…8
…9
…10!
Phillip: By result of a countout, the Senator has defeated his third and final opponent!
Hail to the Chief plays, and the Senator walks to the back victorious, and laughs as he sees security walking alongside him, dragging a fuming Dean out with them.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:10:45 GMT -5
Segment: A Teaser of Another Story (Credit: Yoko)
It is a dark and stormy night. Well, maybe not, but it is definitely dark. Because, well, it's night. It isn't storming though. We see a long shot of an empty road, as far as the eye can see. A single car, a black station wagon, comes into view. It speeds down the road at a moderate pace.
We then go inside of the car and see the occupants. In the passenger seat is a boy, he looks to be around sixteen or seventeen years old. He has short dark brown hair, and has a less than impressive build. From what we can of him, anyway. He's dressed in all black from head to toe. Boots, shirt, gloves, trenchcoat. Maybe he got a little too into the Matrix.
Sitting next to him is a beautiful girl, also around sixteen or seventeen. Long dark hair, a little bit of black eyeliner, black lipstick. It goes together well. She's dressed in jeans and a dark purple tanktop with a pink star on the chest. Her chest isn't a very impressive size, but then again, she's not looking to attract the type of guy who likes that. You know, the sex crazed moron type.
Despite being in the driver's seat, she's doing very little driving. Her foot is holding the gas, but she's not steering. She's writing in what appears to be a diary. The boy looks back and forth at her and the road, squirming in his seat a bit.
Boy: Heather, you know it makes me nervous when you don't pay attention.
Heather: It's a straight road with no traffic, Joshua. Relax.
Joshua: Why do you always wait until you're driving to write in that?
Heather: It's the best time. The passing scenery helps me organize my thoughts. My diaries were never this interesting or complex before you came along, I'll tell you that.
Joshua: Could we...You know, stop? Pull in at a gas station or something, and then write.
Heather: Maybe you should learn to drive. Besides, we haven't passed any place to stop for miles.
Joshua points to the distance.
Joshua: There are lights up ahead, we can stop there.
Heather looks up from her diary.
Heather: Yeah, those are definitely lights.
The lights loom closer, a small building can be seen now. A couple of cars and eighteen wheelers can be seen parked near it.
Joshua: Looks like a truck stop diner.
Heather: Sweet, I was getting hungry.
She pulls into the parking lot, and parks. She puts her diary into her purse.
Heather: Think we should rush in and take the place?
She motions her head toward the back seat as she says it. We then see the back seat. It's covered in guns and boxes of ammunition. Sticking out from the rest is a very long rifle, and a sawed off shotgun.
Joshua: No. I've told you a thousand times, we don't do things like that. We'll just go in, you'll eat and write-
Heather: I finished my diary entry.
Joshua: Then you'll eat, and that'll be that. We'll go back on the road. We don't want to make too many scenes, he'll find us again.
Heather: I love it when you're decisive.
Joshua blushes.
Heather: Well, let's go in, then.
She grabs her purse and exits the car. Joshua follows.
As they enter the diner, they're greeted by the smell of hamburgers being fried, and very old country music playing over the sound system. They're also greeted by the unpleasant looks of most of the people already in there. A lot of them are truckers, but some of them just seem like normal country folk.
Joshua: ...Where are we, again?
Heather: Somewhere in Alabama, I think. Just ignore them, they're not used to people like us.
They walk straight up to the counter and sit on a couple of stools, rather than get a table. The stares eventually die down. A waitress eventually comes up to them.
Waitress: What'll ya'll have?
Heather: Um, I'll just have a hamburger, thanks. Oh, and a Pepsi.
Waitress: And what about you, young man?
Joshua: Nothing, sorry. I'm not hungry.
Waitress: One hamburger and one Pepsi coming right up, then.
She writes it down on a notepad and sticks it to the window that leads to the kitchen, and moves on to other people.
Heather: You really should eat sometime, you know.
Joshua: I don't need to, it's pointless.
Heather: Food tastes good. It's fun.
Joshua: I don't really remember.
Heather: Spoil sport.
She begins to listen to the music while waiting for her food. It's a typical country song about lost love and wife beating.
Heather: God, what's the name of this song? "I Kissed My Baby With My Fist"?
Joshua: It's not so bad. I mean, for a country song.
Heather: You WOULD think that.
The waitress comes out of the kitchen with a tray of food. She sits one plate and glass in front of Heather.
Heather: Thank you.
She begins eating her hamburger. Joshua looks around at the other people for a bit, then gets bored of it and watches her.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:11:17 GMT -5
Heather: What are you looking at?
Joshua: Nothing, just watching you eat.
Heather: Sometimes I wonder if you even know how creepy the things you say are.
A loud buzz comes over the sound system, and the music stops. Some people groan.
Heather: Thank God. I hope they don't fix it.
Joshua: No one in this place even knows how, I'd bet. They don't seem...technically sound.
Heather: Technically sound? They don't seem like they have an IQ over thirty, is what you meant.
Joshua: Well...Yeah.
She finishes up her hamburger, and downs the drink.
Joshua: You're done. Let's pay them and leave.
Heather: Hey, listen. I know you said not to make a scene, but...
Joshua: But?
Heather: The people here are filth.
Joshua: You've been checking them out? I think you wanted to make a scene all along.
Heather: Maybe. But we should clean the place up. We have some bad people, here.
Joshua: Tell me about some of them, we'll see.
Heather: For example, the guy three tables to the right of the door, the one with the goatee. He's hauling sixty-three pigs to Mississippi. He's had sex with every one of them.
Joshua: ...Did I hear that right?
Heather: Yeah.
Joshua: Disgusting.
Heather: Very. Two tables over from him is a man with an Atlanta Braves hat. He's having sex with his sister, who's five years younger than him, and has been since she was ten.
Joshua: He has to go.
Heather: To top it off, he's also having sex with her twelve year old daughter, which happens to belong to him.
Joshua: What do we do with the innocents? Let them go this time? You know I don't like killing them.
Heather: Then you'll love this, no one in here is innocent. At the very least, they're either involved in the illegal selling of narcotics, or are cheating on their spouses. Like that girl four seats to your left, she's married and has three kids. None of them belong to her husband.
Joshua: Let's rumble, then.
Joshua reaches into his trench coat and grasps a knife. He smiles at the girl four seats to his left, and she smiles back. He then tosses the knife directly into her throat. Heather reaches into her purse and pulls out a handgun before anyone can react to the murder. Joshua quickly reaches into his coat and pulls out a hockey mask, he puts it on. They stand up from the stools, somebody screams. The girl just being noticed. Heather points the gun up and fires a shot at the ceiling.
Heather: None of you are going anywhere! Any of you who try to escape, will be shot. Today is a lucky day for all of you. The Dark Angel is here to pass judgement on you, you're not worthy of his presence!
One of the women at a table leaps up and runs for the door, Heather shoots her in the back of the head. She collapses onto the floor like a ton of bricks.
Heather: I am NOT bluffing, runners WILL be shot. I want you people in the kitchen out here, too.
The waitress and two cooks emerge from the kitchen reluctantly. Joshua reaches to his side and unsheathes his machete, the room grows silent.
Heather: Now the way we normally do this, is we single you out, one by one, and pass judgement. The innocent usually go free. But today, you all disappoint me. Every single one of you has done something unforgivable, whether it be beastiality, incest, molestation, rape, adultery, or whatever. So we're just going to make this fast. You all are going to Hell.
She shoots the man who had raped the pigs.
Heather: Enjoy your last seconds!
In a panic, most people jump up and bolt for the door. Heather manages to pick them off easily. Others try to be heroic and take control of the situation. Joshua puts them in their place with a nice slash across the neck or chest, or severing something important like their head.
Within one minute, they've killed everyone in the diner. The floor is covered in bodies and blood.
Heather: Well then. That was-
The sound system buzzes again, the music comes back on. Not country this time. Moonlight Sonata. As the song registers in their minds, they leap behind the counter.
Joshua: He found us! I don't know how, but he found us!
Heather: I don't hear him or see him, are you sure?
Joshua peaks over the counter quickly. The song plays, but he sees no one.
Joshua: If we can make it to the car...We should be able to get away easily. He must be in here somewhere, waiting to ambush us. Make a run for it.
Heather: Right.
Without hesitating, she leaps back over the counter and runs out of the diner. She hops into the car and starts it. Joshua looks around one more time, sheathes his machete, and runs for it himself. He sees Heather looking up as he runs toward her. She then sees him heading her way.
Heather: Go back, the roof!
Before Joshua can react, he hears a gunshot, and feels the pain in the back of his knee.
Joshua: Hit the gas!
Heather listens obediently and hits the gas, Joshua stumbles toward the car and gets into the passenger side before it gets going. As they speed away, he sees Elias Voorhees on the roof of the diner, smiling, and spinning his revolver.
Heather: How bad are you hurt?! I tried to warn you...Bastard was on the roof, waiting for you!
Joshua: Screwed with the sound system up there to ambush me when I ran outside, thinking he was inside...That's just like him. Got me in the same leg again, too. I'll be fine, don't worry. Just drive.
Heather: Right...
The car continues to speed down the road as the camera fades out.
End Segment.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:12:03 GMT -5
Metal Gear ACW – Part V (Credit: Hunter)
Latino walks into the storage facility and looks around. The room is empty, save for a single door that is about a foot off the ground. Latino walks to it and lies down, looking into the next room.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Yoko: Be careful. You absolutely can’t use weapons in that area.
Latino: Ah, bullshit! Why not?
Yoko: …those are nuclear warheads, Latino. If you shoot someone, you’ll die and take half the world with you.
Latino: …sí?
Yoko: Yes, sí. Technically, these warheads are dismantled, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t leak plutonium upon impact.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino sighs and walks into the room. He quickly runs up a flight of stairs and stands in front of the elevator. Suddenly, a soldier appears from behind the corner and points his gun at him. Latino does the same, and they both stand still, guns pointed at each other.
Latino: HA! You can’t shoot me. If you do, we both will be muerto.
Soldier: You can’t shoot either.
Latino: Er…
Latino jumps up and kicks the guard over a ledge, then watches him crash to the surface below. The elevator doors open and Latino steps in. He waits for a few seconds, then steps out. He notices a guard walk into a room, and he quickly follows. When he enters, he sees that the guard is in a bathroom. The guard stands in front of a urinal. Latino quickly steps behind him and smashes him in the back of the head. He drags the guard to one of the bathroom stalls and opens the door. Inside, he sees Jonny Spade reading a newspaper, sitting on the toilet.
Latino: LOCK THE DOOR, CHICO!
Jonny: *high pitched girlish scream*
Latino: What are you doing here?
Jonny: I’M MAKING AN OBLIGATORY CAMEO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?
Latino slams the door shut and opens the next stall door, which is thankfully empty, and throws the guard inside. He runs out and gets back in the elevator, then goes down to the next floor. He walks out and goes into a room with a dark mist surrounding it, as well as a sort of electrified floor.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Deepthroat: Latino, watch out. The floor is electrified and the place is filled with gas. You have to destroy the high voltage switch.
Latino: How?
Deepthroat: Fire a missile.
Latino: I don’t have a missile launcher…
Deepthroat: …well fuck you, I don’t know then.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino thinks for a few seconds, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box that reads “La Chupacabra”. He opens the box and a small creature jumps out and charges through the electric field and jumps onto the circuit breaker. It bites it and electrocutes itself, but at the same time it turns off the floor. Latino raises an eyebrow, then enters and walks down the hall. He turns into another room and hears a lot of shouting and gunfire.
Latino: Qué?
He looks into the room and sees many soldier’s bodies scattered around the room, bloody to no end. He looks in and sees a few soldiers shooting at the cyborg Ninja he saw earlier. The Ninja walks towards them, then trips over a body and flies into one of the soldiers, throwing him into a wall and crushing him. He gets up and takes out his sword, which accidentally flies off and into another soldier. He looks around at the carnage he created, then shrugs and turns the corner. Latino quickly moves in and points his gun around, looking at the mass carnage around him.
Latino: It looks like they’re…dead…
Audience: NO SHIT!
Latino turns the corner and sees the Ninja holding his sword up, with a soldier’s body stuck on it. The Ninja is waving the sword maniacally.
Ninja: AHHHHH! GET HIM OFF, GET HIM OFF!!!
The Ninja throws the sword and the soldier flies into the wall, exploding into many pieces. The Ninja picks his sword up again and walks into a room. Latino quickly follows him and walks into a laboratory. He sees the Ninja approaching a scientist, who is in the process of pissing himself.
Scientist: NO! PLEASE! DON’T!!!
Ninja: But…but…I just want to be friends…
Latino fires a bullet. The Ninja turns around and raises his hands in fear, only to have the sword get in front of the bullet, cutting it in half and barely missing the scientist.
Ninja: Latino…
Latino: You’re that ninja, sí?
Ninja: I’ve been waiting for you…
Latino: Who are you?
Ninja: Neither enemy nor friend. I am back from a world where such words are meaningless.
Latino: You mean?
Ninja: Upstate New York.
Latino is shocked.
Ninja: I’ve waited a long time for this. I want to enjoy this moment.
Scientist: What’s with you guys? It’s like something out of a bad videogame…
And cue every MGS fanboy instantly wanting to kill him.
Ninja: I’ve come back to battle you.
Latino: What do you want, muchacho? Revenge?
Ninja: It is nothing so trivi…triv…trivil…tr…simple as revenge. A fight…to the death…with you. Only then will I be satisfied.
The scientist quickly gets up and runs into a locker.
Ninja: Yes, fine, watch from your front row seat. A rematch for the ages…
The Ninja brandishes his sword. Latino fires, but the Ninja moves out of the way, simply because he thought he saw a puppy from the corner of his eye. Latino runs up to him and punches him in the face.
Ninja: AH! MY NOSE!!!
He drops his sword.
Ninja: You…you…poo head! IT’S WAR IF IT HAS TO BE!!!
The Ninja swipes toward Latino, but Latino dodges and kicks him in the stomach, then spin kicks him into the wall.
Ninja: Ah, I felt that. Do you remember me, Latino?
Latino: No…no es possible. You were fired!
Ninja: I cannot be fired! I’M A SCIENTIST!!!
The Ninja falls to his feet and starts to wince in pain.
Ninja: Ah…time to go. Next time, Latino.
The Ninja runs out of the room.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino: Colonel…that man…he seems so familiar.
Yoko: Indeed he does.
Latino: He looks eerily similar to a certain shadowy ninja that used a blade.
Yoko: Did he start a revolution?
Latino: Sí, he tried.
Yoko: At least we know who you’re dealing with.
Latino: But how is he back?
Yoko: Latino…the truth…the terrorists found his body. He was almost dead. They rebuilt him, made him powerful, trained him in the art of fighting. But, unfortunately, he was still retarded.
Latino: So it’s true. That ninja really is-
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino opens the locker and the scientist falls out.
Latino: Who are you, muchacho?
BK: BK Emmerich, or Otacon.
Latino: BK…comprendo. Meryl told me about you.
BK: Are you here to rescue me?
Latino: Uh…no. You don’t matter. Tell me about Metal Gear.
BK: Metal Gear. Yeah. We never realized we could make it into a nuclear machine. It was meant to create tequila. But, it turns out, the tequila fueled it. It was a sort of oil for it. So then we added nuclear weapons to it, a rail gun too, just for fun.
Latino: Divertido?
BK: Yeah. We didn’t know it was that powerful.
Latino: I’m going to stop it.
BK: It’ll be difficult. But you can do it. I believe in you…I think.
Latino: Fine. I’ll contact you by codec whenever I have to. You just hide.
BK suddenly disappears.
Latino: WOAH! WHAT AM I, HUNTER?!?
BK: Relax, it’s stealth camouflage. I’ll be able to hide easily.
Latino: Oh…sí. I knew that.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino: Chica, I’ve found BK. He’s fine.
AK: That’s a relief.
Latino: Come here and take care of him. Are you close?
AK: Very.
Suddenly, someone is heard shouting, “there she is” in the background.
AK: Shit, they’ve spotted me!
Latino: Kitsune! What happened?
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino: Something’s wrong.
BK: Kitsune…I know her.
Latino: Really? What does she look like?
BK: I don’t know, I only saw her in a soldier’s uniform.
Latino: A disguise?
BK: Yeah. She walked in a hot way. She shakes her ass like a Polaroid…
Latino: Sí?
BK: Best. Terrorist. Ass. EVER.
Latino: I’ll remember that. Gracias.
BK: You’ll have to contact her when she’s by herself…
Latino: When’s that?
BK: You ever read Playboy.
Latino: You can READ it?
BK: …anyway, yeah, when she’s by herself…
Latino: …OH. Sí.
BK walks off and exits the laboratory. Latino starts pondering about the best terrorist ass ever, but then slowly shakes it off and follows suit.
Fade Out
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:13:15 GMT -5
Segment: Hot On His Trail Part 3 - Conscious Conclusions/ Our Story... (Credit: Rena)
Rena has done some tidying up while the Senator is at his match; she spends a lot of time helping out when her on screen persona isn’t required. As she finishes stacking some papers, she composes the end of her dramatic tale….
Rena opened her eyes to find no one beside her. She smiled and stretched, thinking Victor was probably making breakfast as she was thinking. Just then he rushed in and quickly clothed himself.
Victor: Come on! Hurry up, we gotta go…NOW!
Rena: Why? Come back to bed…
Victor: I just heard the radio. They know where we are! They traced your last call to your brother and they’re on their way now.
Rena: WHAT!? OMG…
She pushed up and dressed in clothes as quick as she could. As they rushed out, they saw them… There were white cars with red and blue lights beading flashes all about the premises. Vincent grabbed Rena’s hand and they bolted through the back door, making tremendous noise in the process. Cops began to scream “There they go”, but Rena and Victor ignored them. They pushed through the deep forest, moving as fast as they both could remember they have ever moved.
Victor: SHIT!
They stopped dead at a cliff. Victor looked over, and began to cross a bridge connecting two ridges over water. Rena followed, but since it was such a narrow one she had to stay behind him. As they ended, Victor grabbed his knife and cut at the rope holding the bridge together.
Victort: Let’s go.
As the bridge collapsed, the cops cursed and began to speak on their radios about the escape. Rena had never been this scared in her life as she pushed through the rest of the forest. She stopped him suddenly and looked at him.
Rena: I want to tell you something.
Victor: Not now, we-
Rena: Yes Now! In these past few months, I have never felt as much love for one person than I love you…and I wish that we were in a different circumstance…because-
Victor: Hey…if it wasn’t for this circumstance, we wouldn’t have met.
He pressed a thumb on her cheek, and kissed her. Just then they heard voices through the bush.
Victor: Run.
They began to run more and more…was this the life they would lead forever? No, it couldn’t be…they would find a way to escape it all. And they were almost out of the forest.
Victor: THERE!
Sheriff: Now stop there…
He caught up to them, just when they finally got out of the dense forest area. Victor swore, and turned himself to face the chubby man with a gun.
Sheriff: You gave me quite the run for my money…but I finally got you!
Victor: What are you talking about. My wife and I were only going for a walk and-
Sheriff: Save it. We know who you are, Vincent Laureano…and this is Rena Matheson, your new accomplice.
Victor: No, I kidnapped her and I’ve been holding her against her will!
Rena’s heart sunk. He was still trying to save her out of trouble. She fought back tears and pushed him aside.
Rena: I am his accomplice. I’ve been helping him hide.
Sheriff: Now there Missy, you’ve gone done the dumbest thing you could have done!
Rena: I don’t care…I love him
Victor: Are you stupid Rena!?
Rena: No. I can see so clearly now! Because I love you!
Victor: I love you too-
The sheriff laughed, and waved his gun around.
Sheriff: You love the man whom kidnapped you? Now that’s a story.
Rena: But it’s my story…
Victor: Our story…
Rena faced Victor as the cop cars surrounded them. Men poured out of them with their guns pointed at them.
Sheriff: Just give up.
Victor: Never you piece of shit!
Victor reached in his pocket and grabbed out a pistol. He aimed and shot the Sheriff. With a great scream, the sheriff fell to the floor in great pain. Bullets flailed into the sky and shot at Victor. Rena closed her eyes and screamed, the hail of bullets louder than any noise she made. As she opened them, she found Victor gasping on the ground. He was bleeding from his back, and shuddering like a madman.
Rena: Victor!!
Rena knelt down to him and cradled him in her arms. The cops stopped and stared at the two as she began to weep at his dying body.
Victor: I…love…you…and…and…I…….want…you…to…be…free…
Rena: Don’t say that. You’re gonna be fine…and we’ll find a way out of this.
Victor: You’re…too…optimistic…but..I…loved….that..about….
Rena: Don’t talk…
Victor: Thanks…for everything…
He closed his eyes and stopped breathing. There was a silence as tears poured from Rena’s eyes. The only man she ever loved was now dead, and she had no idea how to deal with it. She laid her head on his chest and wept in deep sorrow. She found the pistol on the ground and grabbed it, kissing Victor’s dead lips.
Rena: I…love you…
She stood up and raised the gun.
Cop: Don’t do anything stupid, Miss…
Cop2: Put the gun down!
She wiped a tear from her eye and stared down at the lifeless body of the man she had just loved in a matter of months. To think that a few men who claimed to be good and justified just shot at him made her more furious than she had ever been. She clenched her teeth and moved the gun to her temple. She closed her eyes, and the life she wanted and dreamed with him flashed before her. Everything went wrong, and the men before her stopped her dreams from becoming a reality. Images of the two together popped in and out of her mind, but a man shouting broke it…and she pulled the trigger. A large pop of the gun was heard and Rena slumped to the ground, pressed right against Vincent with her head facing him. The cops surrounded the dead bodies and kicked away the gun. The two looked like a perfect couple…and they were. In life and death they were the perfect couple anyone would strive to be like. This was their story, and it was a shame they weren’t going to be the ones to tell it. They finally got away, from everything that is. Perhaps somehow they got the life they always wanted, and felt deserved…maybe in another life. But for now, their perfect and dead relationship lay a memory between them…locked in their hearts for eternity.
The End.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:13:46 GMT -5
Segment: Give and take… punishment (Credit: Cernunnos)
The scene opens in a backstage hall in the ACW arena. Walking down said hall are Cernunnos and Sgt. Pilko, the Dieties of War, in matching black robes. They wear the tag team championships with pride over their shoulders. As they walk Cernunnos begins to speak.
Cernunnos: "Well, you have learned much in our short time as a team."
Pilko: "I feel much more focused now, it's like a whole new Pilko."
Cernunnos: "It's shown too, how else could we have won the ACW Tag Team Championships? Now, what is this surprise you wanted to show me?"
Pilko: "It's outside, follow me."
Pilko pushes open the next door, to show an open green field. He takes off his robe, revelaing his old military uniform and puts on his drill seargent hat. The camera pans to show what Pilko has been constructing, an obstacle course.
Pilko: "Well, what do you think?"
Cernunnos: "I hope you don't expect me to run through that."
Pilko: "I went through the meditating and focusing junk, now you get to experiance MY training. This is what we went through in the army. Here, put this on."
Pilko hands Cernunnos a recruit's uniform that was at the begining of the course. Cernunnos takes it with a scowl on his face. Scene transition brings us to the same place, with Cernunnos standing before the course in an ill fitting uniform. Pilko is restraining a loud gafaw while he explains the course.
Pilko: "You'll be timed the whole time, need anything else explained?"
Cernunnos: "No, but I still don't see the --"
Pilko: "GO!"
Cernunnos bolts off and starts his way up a climbing wall when the scene ends on a smiling Sgt. Pilko.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:14:17 GMT -5
Metal Gear ACW – Part VI (Credit: Hunter)
LATINO THEN BACKTRACKS AND GOES BACK TO THE FLOOR WHERE THERE WERE BATHROOMS. HE FINDS THE WOMAN’S BATHROOM AND GOES INSIDE TO TRY TO FIND AK.
Latino walks into the bathroom and looks around. Suddenly, he feels the tip of a rifle pressed against his back.
AK: Oh, Snake. How are you?
The rifle retracts and Latino turns around and sees AK for the first time.
Latino: HAWT!!!
AK: Er…right. Don’t try to hit on me. I’m not into that.
Latino: Fuck, you’re a lesbian, I knew it.
AK: …no. I was given psychotherapy before I joined the military. It killed my interest in men.
Latino: Well, mamacita, be thankful. I’ve been told I can bring back los muertos.
He grins and AK shakes her head.
Latino: Why’d you take off the soldier’s outfit anyway?
AK: It smelled like blood.
Latino: Ah, sí. Why didn’t you contact me?
AK: My codec is broken. How did you recognize me without my disguise?
Latino: Mamacita, I never forget a woman.
AK: So there’s something you like about me after all?
Latino: Sí, I’ve been told you have a nice ass. I agree…HIGHLY…
AK: …right. Let me come with you.
Latino: No, mamacita. Es muy dangerous.
AK: I won’t slow you down.
Latino: And if you do?
AK: You can shoot me.
Latino: …can I sleep with you first?
She smacks him.
Latino: That’s a negative. Okay, fine, you can come with me.
AK: Fine. We have to go to the Commander’s Room. It’s not that far from here.
They walk out of the bathroom and down another hall. They stop in front of the Commander’s Room, and AK suddenly falls to her knees, clutching her head.
Latino: What’s wrong, mamacita? You need an aspirin?
AK: Don’t come here, Latino!
Latino: Are you okay?
AK stands up and responds, her voice noticeably different.
AK: I’m fine. Let’s go.
They walk into the Commander’s Room. Suddenly, Meryl draws her gun and starts circling Latino.
AK: Snake…do you like me?
Latino: Hell yes, mamacita.
AK: Hold me, Latino.
Latino grabs her and hugs her to the point where she begins choking. Noticing this, Latino quickly lets go.
Latino: Sorry.
AK: Hurry…hurry…make love to me Latino! I want you!!!
Latino: …SÍ!!! SÍ!!!
He quickly reaches into his pants, but before he can unleash his solid snake, he sees something behind AK. He quickly jumps back and sees Psycho Marvel floating behind her. He is wearing a sort of jumpsuit as well as a gasmask.
Latino: Marvel!
Marvel: What, Latino, you don’t like girls?
Latino: Sí, me gusta chicas.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Yoko: She’s not herself! Don’t use your weapon!
Latino: What?
Yoko: It’s Psycho Marvel. He’s controlling her mind.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino shrugs and punches AK in the face. AK falls down unconscious.
Marvel: Grr…useless woman!
Latino: Ha! You got any other tricks?
Marvel: You doubt my power? USELESS MORSEL!!!
Latino quickly whips out his gun. He points it at Marvel.
Marvel: It’s…useless. I can read your every thought. You’re thinking…tequila…tacos…ass.
Latino: HOW’D YOU KNOW?!?
Marvel: …you’re Mexican.
Rimshot.
Latino: …besides that.
Marvel: Ah…I can see into your soul…you are a skilled warrior…you are a quick thinker…you had scrambled eggs for breakfast. Ah…you like fighting games, don’t you? You like…Super Smash Brothers?
Latino: Hell no.
Marvel: WHAT?
Marvel hits himself.
Marvel: Blasted thing…it’s broken. Um…do you like Zelda?
Latino: No.
Marvel: Castlevania?
Latino: Not really.
Marvel: Titties?
Latino: OH MY GOD! YOU’RE AMAZING!!!
Marvel: Ha, ha, ha. What did I tell you? Now, still doubt me? Let me show you something else…put down your controller.
Latino: Qué?
Marvel: Put down your controller.
Latino: What controller?
Marvel: DO IT DAMN YOU!!!
Latino: Uh…done.
Marvel moves his arms around.
Marvel: See? I’m making it shake! SHAKE!!!
Latino: …
Marvel: End of demonstration. Now, we battle! It’s going off like a prom dress!
Latino fires a bullet but Marvel moves out of the way.
Marvel: It’s-
Latino: -useless, I know.
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Yoko: Latino, change controller sockets. He won’t be able to read your mind.
Latino: What controller?
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP!
Latino sighs and looks at his gun. He sees four buttons on it. He quickly presses one and shoots Marvel. The bullet hits him right in the stomach.
Marvel: WHAT?!? I CANNOT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD YOU!!!
Latino keeps firing. After a while, Marvel dodges a bullet again. Marvel floats over to AK. AK rises.
Marvel: You are powerful indeed. But I know your weak point. Now…Kitsune…BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!!!
Latino quickly charges forward and punches AK in the face.
Marvel: DAMN YOU AND YOUR WOMAN BEATING!
Latino loses it and fires another bullet. This one connects with Marvel’s chest, and Marvel falls down, defeated. AK wakes up and rubs her head.
AK: What happened?
Latino: Nevermind that now. It’s all right.
They walk over to Marvel’s body.
Marvel: Stand by me…Latino…take off my mask…
Latino complies, then jumps back in horror.
Latino: DAYUM MUCHACHO! YOU CAN’T GET NO PLASTIC SURGERY UP IN HERE?!?
Marvel: Shut it…I was born in a small town…my father hated me…my mother was a whore…this lead me to insanity…
Latino: Uh, yeah, I’d love to stick around and chat, but I’ve got a world to save.
Marvel: Right, sorry. Put my mask back on.
Latino: With pleasure.
Latino puts the mask back on.
Marvel: Ah…now I can die in peace. Latino…promise me something…
Latino: Qué?
Marvel: Tell everyone…everyone…my last words…
Latino: Uh…okay.
Marvel: My last words…my last words…
Latino: Sí?
Marvel: RIDLEY SUCKS!!!
And with that, he dies. Latino shrugs and stands up. He pushes a bookcase out of the way and reveals a secret door. He opens it and he and AK walk through.
Fade Out
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:15:08 GMT -5
Match 5: Hunter vs. ?? – Fight Club Match
The audience is chattering away to itself as it tends to do between matches; their attention though is quickly taken by the Alphatron coming to life. It shows a part of the ACW arena that we rarely visit, and it’s surprisingly busy….
The basement area is extensive, concrete floors and half – constructed walls. Perhaps it was intended to be underground parking at one stage…. at any rate, what it is now is a jumble of stored packing crates, a few desks, all sorts of items. The lighting is sporadic and leaves large areas in shadow, but despite this there are crew members flitting in and out of shot, collecting equipment, sneaking a cigarette or two, and generally passing the time. Into this human soup walks a familiar figure, and given that the show left rational territory quite some time ago, no one in the audience is all that surprised to see Hunter there.
Hunter walks slowly, as if looking for someone. He notices a group of men of Hispanic extraction, talking rapidly in Spanish, and vaguely remembers the rumors of an entire secret ACW production crew, vast in number and all concealed within the Narnia – esque depths of the building. He walks up to them.
Hunter: Excuse me, gentlemen…..
All the men stop talking and look at him, staring. Hunter doesn’t let any hint of nervousness show.
Hunter: I’m looking for-
He pauses, and whispers the last part.
Hunter:…Fight Club.
The other men look at him as if he’s just spoken the strongest obscenity in the universe; then one of them gestures toward an area in the far corner, screened off by piles of junk. Hunter makes no reply, but simply walks in that direction; he pretends not to hear the laughter that recedes behind him.
Hunter slides between tow stacks of rubbish into the hidden space. There is a deceased copier against the wall, under the only light, but nothing else. Hunter looks around him and frowns, considering whether he’s been taken for an idiot, when-
??: You got a reason for being here, pal?
Hunter glances around him; at first he sees nothing, then the merest flicker of reflected light draws his gaze to the floor. He can see the outline of a pair of shoes, and as he follows this upward, his eyes adjust enough for him to see that there is someone in the deep shadows.
Hunter: Yeah, I do. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about Fight-
The punch comes so fast that Hunter has no chance to dodge it. He staggers back, holding a hand to his chest.
??: The first rule, my friend, the first rule.
Hunter is confused for only a second, before he straightens up.
Hunter: ….”Don’t talk about Fight Club”. And I would guess that goes double for the second rule, right?
A glimmer of light catches in the mystery man’s eyes, and it’s clear that he smiled, just for a moment.
??: Come here, Hunter.
Hunter complies; now he figures that he must be no more than a couple of feet from the guy, but still he can’t see anything other than a faint, occasionally shifting outline.
Hunter: So you know me.
??: Of course I do, you’re famous. At least in this version of reality.
Hunter: What should I call you?
??: It’s of no consequence. Given the situation, perhaps you should call me Tyler.
Hunter nods. Things fall silent again for a few seconds.
Hunter: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
Tyler: Yeah. C'mon, do me this one favor.
Hunter: That’s what I’m here for, duh. But since we’re caught in this little reconstruction, why?
Tyler : Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight.
Hunter: You run Fight Club and you’ve never fought? That breaks at least half the freakin’ rules!
Tyler: When I say fight, Hunter, I mean a REAL fight. Not the pussies that pass for men down here, and not the staged battles that you morons pretend to have up there. So what about you?
Hunter: For the purposes of this story, no, but that's a good thing.
Tyler: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
Hunter: This is crazy.
Tyler: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Hunter: I don't know about this.
Tyler: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Hunter takes a peak over his shoulder; there are in fact about 15 people watching, and more on the way. Hunter just decides to ignore them.
Hunter: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler: That's right.
Hunter: What, like in the face?
Tyler: Surprise me.
Hunter: This is so fucking stupid...
Hunter swings, and connects against Tyler's…..groin.
Tyler: Motherfucker! That was supposed to be the EAR!
Hunter: I know, I’ve seen this movie more times than I can count. You knew that too, so it wouldn’t have been a surprise. Guess I fucked it up...
The eyes flash again.
Tyler: No, that was perfect! This fight starts….
Hunter takes a shot to the gut and wheezes.
Tyler:..NOW!
Somewhere in the ether, a bell rings faintly.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:15:55 GMT -5
Hunter retaliates immediately, rib – kicking at his shadowy foe. Tyler wobbles a bit, and then makes a charge at Hunter; he again moves with incredible speed, and there’s a crash as Hunter hits the wall, taking out the mounted light there so that the fight is being conducted in semi – darkness. Punches are exchanged, and it’s not entirely clear what’s happening for a few seconds; then, the impromptu audience jumps back a few steps as Hunter comes hurtling through one of the stacks of garbage, collapsing it entirely. Tyler stalks out from the sheltered area, and the audience catches just a glimpse of his features; they’re nicely toned, and certainly remind more than a few people of Brad Pitt mixed with another person they can’t quite put a finger on. More and more people are rushing over to see the fight, now; they obscure the battle, so that although there are constant grunts and shouts of pain and aggression, the actual view of what is going on is a little restricted. Hunter backs into the frame, throwing out punches and kicks and recoiling from similar impacts; Tyler, however, somehow manages to stay out of the picture most of the time, and only his strained laughter when he scores a good hit allows the audience to get a good fix on his position…
With a yell of unleashed fury, Hunter rushes across the camera’s view, connecting with Tyler just out of its sight, and spears the pair of them through another stacked pile of boxes. The crowd rushes after the fight, and the camera gets caught up in them; through the melee it catches sight of Hunter, straddling what must be Tyler and hammering away at his body. Our view of Hunter is from behind him, and the thumping stops, as Hunter applies a chokehold; the camera does its best to close focus, and then it becomes clear that Hunter too is being choked. The stalemate lasts about 15 seconds before Hunter wrenches himself free and gets up, and we see for the first time that he’s not wearing any ring boots or shoes of any kind. He breathes hard, but looks exhilarated; bruises are blossoming like delicate flowers across his chest and upper arms. Suddenly he takes a defensive stance, before being grabbed and thrown across the room; he barrels into a clutch of spectators, and there’s a round of applause from the rest of those watching. Though the camera shot is jerky and keeps going in and out of focus, Tyler (or at least his shadowy figure) is seen coming to haul Hunter back into the match. Hunter bides his time, and then strikes; he hooks up with his foes and suplexes the pair of them on to the hard concrete floor. It takes him far more effort than usual to do this as his opponent isn’t quietly assisting him as they would in his professional working evenings, and the camera manages to get in for a close up on Hunter’s face as he lies there, savoring the aches in his body. Tyler’s voice floats over the sound of the shouting, yelling throng around them.
Tyler: Amazing, fucking amazing. But you haven’t won yet…
Hunter pulls himself to his feet; a circle has formed around him and his foe, and now it’s down to a man to man struggle within this human coliseum. As Hunter takes a swing at Tyler, suddenly the already inadequate lighting fails completely, and there’s confusion down below. The picture fuzzes, and flips urgently between available cameras – but it’s no good, ALL the lights in the arena have been cut out. The sound of Hunter and Tyler continuing to beat the shit out of each other is heard as a shot is finally found that works; it’s of the production truck, where BK is frantically pulling wires in and out of connections. He notices the camera, and gives an awkward smile.
BK: Uh…Oops, I must’ve unplugged something by mistake. Give me a sec….
BK continues to fumble; the shot cuts back to the basement, where a few people have got lighters out to try and rectify the situation. It’s not exactly brilliant, and all that can be seen are flailing limbs of indeterminate identity. The chaos goes on for about 30 seconds, and then finally the lights come back on.
Hunter is swaying back and forth in the centre of the circle; sweat pours from him, but he is still standing. There’s some movement in one corner of the screen; Hunter makes an avoiding movement to the side, and then sends out a huge blow of his own. The camera doesn’t see it connect, and Hunter seems to stagger from the blow almost as much as his foe does…. but Hunter remains upright. The lights flicker, becoming weaker, and Hunter faces his almost – concealed adversary.
Hunter: Had enough yet?
Tyler’s voice is rasping, but still strong.
Tyler: Yeah… you might say that. How does this make you feel, Hunter?
Hunter is quiet; the room is, too. The audience watching suddenly notices that the watchers have melted away into nothingness.
Tyler: Does this make you feel alive? It should do. It ought to press all the buttons that your crock-of-shit life can’t reach.
Hunter: My life is not-
Tyler: Isn’t it? Think about it, asshole. Your job is to pretend to fight, to parody all that men could have been, were once, and should be again, and to do it according to some bullshit “family viewing” laws laid down by people who couldn’t raise their fists to save their lives. It secretly eats you up inside, that’s why on the day that you could have done anything, anything at all, you came down here to find me. Well I don’t want to stay down here Hunter… you can help me. You can let me out.
Hunter: How? Can’t you just use the stairs like everyone else?
Tyler: You really are dumb, you know that? You know what I’m talking about.
Hunter’s mind is racing; he is trying to gasp an idea in his head without looking at it… and then it turns and looks straight into him.
Hunter: …..You’re crazy!
He knows the next line without even hearing it.
Tyler: No. YOU ARE.
And Hunter looks down at his own body, and sees that every impact mark, every bruise, matches his own handprint. He looks up at his own hallucination of himself, and sees his own eyes behind the Hollywood actor exterior of his inspiration. “Tyler” is laughing now, on the edge of mania.
“Tyler”: Oh, stop beating yourself up, Hunter. You want to know what the ultimate irony is? The last kick in the teeth? I’m a representation of all that which the modern male tries to conceal, to hide, in order to fit in with a feminised, cockless world, and even now, every single twisted word that comes out of my mouth is being typed by…. A FUCKING WOMAN!! Yes you, bitch, I know you’re there….. And will you STOP with the goddamn dramatic pauses?! Step away from the full stop key! You hearing me? I don’t give a shit about what this guy said in his PM, I’m winning this fight! Give me a way out of this hellhole and give us guys back our pastimes, our jobs, our FUCKING right to express our testosterone-
Hunter feels something cold and metallic slip into his hand. He knows what it is, and what his choices are.
“Tyler”: -our genetic rights, dammit! So what’s it going to be, Hunter?
The crack of the gun firing echoes all around the basement; there is a thump as “Tyler” hits the floor, and then a second as Hunter follows suit. After a few moments, he sits up; he’s entirely alone, and his jaw hurts a great deal. But that will pass, in time.
Hunter: I suppose that means I win. But then, theoretically I would have won anyway.
He gets up and looks once more at the gun in his hand, before dropping it to the floor. He addresses his last comment to no one in particular.
Hunter: Thanks for the deus ex machina moment there. Us writers got to stick together.
He heads to the stairs, takes a last look back, and then walks upward, back towards the light and what the waking world chooses to define as normality.
Fade out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 25, 2005 16:19:08 GMT -5
Segment: A change of direction
For what seems like no reason at all, Wolf is walking along a corridor close to the arena entrance. He’s surprised to see Philip pass him, carrying a large duffel bag.
Wolf: Yo, Phil, shouldn’t you be outside in the arena?
Philip: Yeah, I will be in a minute. Everyone else is letting their hair down tonight, and I’m sick of this suit and tie. So I’m going to dress down a bit for the next match.
Philip gives an enigmatic smile before disappearing round the corner, and the scene fades out.
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