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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:48:39 GMT -5
Segment: Sleeping on the job (Credit: BK London)
Another show, another segment where BK London is just lounging around. You'd think that being the great "draw" that he is, he would receive a match here and there, but here he sat - matchless for the night. He didn't care too much though, after beating nearly everyone that there is to beat in ACW, after participating in every match there is to participate over the course of nearly four years - you tend to want to just relax.
He laid across his couch in his normal attire, managing to catch a few z's during some very "exciting" Entourage matches. Being that those matches take up more than half the show, he managed to get a good amount of sleep within his locker room. He had been a bit jetlagged from his visit to Brooklyn after meeting with Kiley's lawyers - finalizing the divorce - and he finally had time to catch some shut eye. Or did he?
THUD! THUD! THUD!
THUD! THUD THUD!
The sound of someone pounding away at BK London's door nearly scared the daylights out of him. Falling off the sofa, he quickly picked himself up and wiped the drool from the side of his mouth. He slowly made his way towards the door and when he opened it, he was a bit surprised to see that no one was there. He shut back the door and headed back to his sofa to return to sleep, but there it was again.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
THUD! THUD! THUD!
Before he could even get comfortable, he was forced to head back to the door, and when he opened it - it was none other than Kevin Anderson standing right in his face. Seeing him, he let out a bit of a sigh, and attempted to shut the door. Kevin managed to prevent him from doing so by sticking his leg between the door and the wall. Still attempting to close it, he slammed the door multiple times against the foot of Kevin.
Kevin: OW! OW! OW! Stop! STOP!
Once more.
Kevin: OW!
BK London: Listen Kevin, if you're here to insult me again, I'm not even going to waste my breath much longer.
Kevin: Insult you? Where would you get that idea? BK, BK, BK, I'm a journalist. I'm objective. I'm neutral. I'm not here to give my opinion on the matter, I'm just here to report the facts and get the scoop. Now, I think you owe the fans an explanation for your actions last Thursday...so are you going to help conduct this interview or not?
BK London: ...fine. What's the question?
Kevin: Well, I've been doing a bit of research on message boards and articles online, and basically the first thing we want to know is: why?
BK London: Why what?
Kevin: Why would you attack Adrian Flamingo, knowing that he is currently physically disabled?
BK London: He's lying.
Kevin: Lying? Lying about what?
BK London: You know damn well what he's lying about. I know Adrian Flamingo alright, I know what he's capable of, I know his sinister, cold, calculating mind first hand, and I can tell you this: The man is lying.
Kevin: But why would he lie? Why would he lie about sitting in a wheel chair for the rest of his life? Why would he lie about his career being over after such a malicious attack on him a few months ago? What would he have to gain?
BK London: What would he have to gain? What would he have to GAIN? Listen, I'm tired of these question alright. I don't know where you are getting at, or what you're trying to portray me as, but the point is this: Adrian Flamingo is pulling the wool over all of your eyes. If you think he's really handicapped, if you really think he's paralyzed, then you must have a screw loose. So this is what I'm going to do, I am going to prove to EVERYONE, that he's faking it. And I will do it by any means necessary. Now if you excuse me, I have business to get back to.
BK London gets ready to close the door once more.
Kevin: WAIT! One more question!
BK London: What?
Kevin: What do you think Chairman Gingerdude will say to you when you report to his office later this evening?
BK London: ...excuse me?
Kevin: Gingerdude's office later today..don't you know?
BK London: No, I wasn't informed....
Kevin: Well everyone's talking about it backstage man, you should go check it out.
He thinks about it for a second.
BK London: You know what? I think I will.
BK steps out of his locker room and shuts the door behind him before making his way down the corridor in the direction of the Chairman's office.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:53:50 GMT -5
Match 3: Mr. Red vs. Andrew Starr (Credit: Red)
"Reds Fan" blares out over the speaker as Mr. and Mrs. Red emerge from backstage. They both walk down to the ring and slap hands with some fans along the way. A random fan tries to get a little frisky and reach for Mrs. Red's boobies. Mr. Red spots this and slaps the kids hand away. Both slide in the ring and pose on the same turnbuckle together.
Lights quickly blink out, and the opening chords of "Are You Dead Yet?" by Children of Bodom blare through the Alphatron. Strobe lights blink in time with the bass of the song, primarily in time with the drummers strikes. The first scream from Alexi Laiho rings loud as the primary lights begin to come back on.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
Main lighting flickers on and off along with the guitar riffs as the intro continues for a few seconds longer before leading into the lyrics.
Don't hear, don't deem Drowning before you dive Don't care, commit To your self destruction drive
Several spotlights circle into center stage, where Andrew Starr is standing with his back to the crowd. His arms are flung outwards from his body, and head tilted up. Spinning around to face the ring, he taunts opponents and those in attendance as he makes his way to the ring.
I kiss the ground With love beyond forever Flip off the sky With bleeding fingers till I die
Starr reaches the ring by now and has rolled in. He crackes the joints in his neck, and jumps back and forth a bit to keep himself moving. The music dies out and Starr settles in ready to wrestle.
The bell rings as both men circle the ring. After a brief staredown they charge each other and lock up. Andrew gains the upper hand and forces Red back to the corner. The ref forces his way between them and breaks them apart.
Andrew backs to the center of the ring. Red charges out of the corner. Andrew catches him with a vicious powerslam. Andrew drops a couple elbows to the chest of Red before going to the cover.
1...
kick. Red kicks out quickly and gets back to his feet just after Andrew Starr. He charges but is dropped by a clothesline from Andrew.
Red rolls out of the ring and to the floor. Mrs. Red walks over and kneels down by her man to see if he is ok. Starr exits the ring and walks toward them. She backs away and glares at Starr as he picks up Red. Andrew throws Red back into the ring and slides in after him.
Red gets back to his feet and dropkicks Starr as he is sliding back in. Red springboards off the ropes and hits a legdrop. He covers Starr but they are too close to the ropes and the ref doesn't even bother with making a count.
Red picks Starr up and whips him off the ropes. Red tries for a clothesline but Andrew ducks it and bounces off the ropes. Red turns to connect his clothesline again and Andrew tries one as well. Both men tumble to the mat and the ref begins his slow count for 10.
He gets to 5 as both men rise to their feet. Red races to the ropes and charges Starr for a clothesline. Starr ducks and tries for a roundhouse kick of his own. Red ducks and wraps his arm around Andrew's leg and pulls him into a school boy. Red props his feet up on the ropes as the ref counts to 3.
Red slides out of the ring as Andrew Starr stares him down inside the ring. red motions that he wants a title shot now as Starr shakes his head and turns his attention to ask the ref "what the hell?"
Winner: Mr. Red
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:54:39 GMT -5
Segment: Killing Caitlynn… Episode 1 (Credit: Mainer)
12:43 PM, July 11th… 16 years ago It was a warm, glowing afternoon in Las Vegas, perfect weather for taking a trip into the childhood of Danny Mainer. The people were alive and about, early in the afternoon. Our scene is set into the park in Las Vegas’s suburban district. There’s a hive of activity about, some of the girls are playing jump-rope on the tarmac while some of the older boys are playing US Football on the rough and tumble grass. Some kids are on the climbing frame re-enacting things that their favourite heroes do, while on a different patch of the grass are the yard-tard kids that are practicing wrestling. In the centre of the grassy area is a couple of kids sitting around screwing about. Typical 10 year olds kids. 4 guys and 2 girls. Six of them, one of the boys is porky and tall, one of them is small and stupidly skinny while the other is about average height with some muscle on them. The two girls are your average doll-faced blondes. One of the built guys has slicked back black hair while the other has short spiky hair.Spiky Haired Kid: Hey Jared, did you hear about the new Transformers trading cards that are coming out? Apparently they’re going to be awesome!Slicked Back Hair Guy/Jared: Yeah Danny, totally. I totally reckon that the new Furbies are going to kick ass though! Screw the robots, I wanna see some talking furbies man! Fat Kid/Jesse: Hey guys! I’m hungry! Spiky Haired Kid/Danny: Hahaha, you’re always hungry Jesse.The group laugh along with Danny after this line very reminiscent of a bad childhood sitcom. Jesse: That’s the problem with childhood obesity! Danny then directs his attention to the skinny kid with a smile on his face. Danny: Yeah I know but y’know… hey Aaron what did you go see the other day in the cinema with your mom?Skinny Emo Kid/Aaron: We went to see The Mask, It was SOOO cool! This crazy mask could like turn into things, it was totally awesome. Danny: Wow… bad…Danny is stopped and stunned as he looks on into the distance seeing a patch of trees and wood-chip pile floors like you’d see around a climbing frame. Y’know the ones that were really awkward to sit on? The trees make a darkened area of the park but there’s a slight clearing in the canopy and a beam of light spills through illuminating a lone girl cradling a teddy bear in her short arms. The girl is pale with creamy skin, her child-like face half-covered by a tuft of natural black hair. Danny looks over to the girl completely mesmerized by his fickle “pretty” youth attraction. Danny’s heart is wrenched though when he sees the girl with tears streaming down her face. Danny: Ass… look guys I’ll be right back.Danny pushes up to his feet walking over mesmerised to the crying girl. The other 3 just stare while the girls sit there and discuss barbies or whatever it was that 8 year old girls did in the 90’s. Danny rubs grass off of his clothes which are a pair of kids sized blue denim jeans and a black child-size Metallica t-shirt and a pair of Kid Converses, Black Hi-Tops with black and white checkerboard laces, a personal touch of his own. Yeah, Danny hasn’t changed a bit since the 90’s… ‘cept maybe he has a bigger ego and is a lot more successful. Danny strides over to this poor girl sitting on her own in the dark trees who’s crying into her arm balanced on her knees. Danny: Hey… are you OK?The crying girl raises her head up to see the young Danny Masterson looking down on her. She then buries herself back into her arm continuing to weep. Danny: Hey hey hey… don’t cry it’ll be OK. Hi… I’m Danny.The little girl looks up at Danny trying to choke back the tears long enough to say a sentence. Danny’s happiness plummets as he watches this poor, innocent girl cry her eyes out. Eventually she manages to get out a setence. Crying Girl: I’m Kuh-Kuh-Kuh… Caitlynn. “Caitlynn”, that name makes Danny sigh just thinking about it. Such a pretty name thinks the young Danny Masterson. Danny: Why are you crying Caitlynn?Caitlynn: Because nobody wants to play with me… and – Caitlynn is cut off by the sound of shouting, Danny turns around to see the skinny kid Aaron about 20 feet away yelling his lungs out to Danny. Aaron: Hey Danny, we’re gonna’ play tag… leave that cry-baby alone and come play! Caitlynn’s ears perk up as she realizes that the Cry-Baby insult is directed at her. She quickly buries her face into the arm of her woolly turtleneck jacket while Danny replies with some words of his own. Danny: Cry baby? I’ll kick your ass if you say that again Aaron! I swear to God I’ll punch you in your big flapping mouth you fag!Aaron: Alright sorry! Aaron runs off to go inform Danny’s crew about what he’s doing while Danny looks morosely at the girl lying with her back to the tree. Danny folds his arms and sighs. Danny: Hey… do you wanna come play with us? We’re gonna’ play tag if you want.Caitlynn: I can’t… Danny: Why not Caitlynn?Caitlynn: Because your friends don’t like me… Your friend Aaron doesn’t like me… Caitlynn sobs into her arms while Danny goes into reassuring mode. Danny: Oh that’s just Aaron, he lives only with his dad who hates him so he takes it out on other people. Come play with us! Oh yeah you said there was something else the matter?Caitlynn looks up at the smiling face of Danny Mainer feeling safe in his presence. She stops crying and smiles back at Danny’s cheery face. Caitlynn: That boy over there, he took my candy bar. Caitlynn points a skinny finger over to the yard-tard kids that pretend to wrestle consistently. Danny adjusts his focus to the kids. There’s 3 of them total. One of them is pretending to be Undertaker by doing a cut-throat sign, the second biggest and the other is pretending to be Hulk Hogan, doing a bad, childlike impression of a Hulk-Up to an invisible opponent. Danny examines Caitlynn’s direction and sees that she’s pointing to the third kid, smallest of the lot who is sat in black cargo’s and a plain green polo shirt. Danny goes into “Man on a Mission” mode as he sees in his sweaty palms is a Mars bar with the wrapper still on. Danny: Come with me… I’ll get you your Mars Bar back.Danny extends his hand looking to Caitlynn. Clutching onto her teddy bear with one hand, Caitlynn puts out her left hand [she’s a southpaw ladies and gentlemen] and Danny grabs it with his left hand [he’s actually left handed too but he punches with his right]. Danny pulls Caitlynn to her feet and the 2 trot off towards the wrestling kids. Danny goes into his “Man on a Mission” mode holding Caitlynn’s hand as he makes a B-Line straight for the poor sonnuva bitch. After about 10 seconds he finally makes it. He breaks the holding hands to point and yell at the kids which outnumber him greatly. It wasn’t visible before but it is now and it appears that the 2 kids are fighting in a sand pit ring. Danny yells as loud as his high-pitched lungs can go. Danny: Hey motherfuckers… give Caitlynn back her candy bar or I swear to God someone’s getting a noogie.Danny roars at the 3 kids while they stop screwing around preparing for serious business. Caitlynn is starting to back off towards her trees but Danny puts his hand out to stop her. The 3rd kid with the candy bar gets up and squares right up to Danny. The 3rd kid shoves him putting his sandy paws across Danny’s Metallica t-shirt. A move which does not go down smooth with The Prince of Vegas. Danny: That was the worst mistake you’ve made…Danny throws his right hand and it smashes into the third kids jaw sending him falling onto his ass. The other 2 kids storm in trying to help their friends as Caitlynn hunches over closing her eyes not watching the violence. Danny throws his right foot out catching the biggest kid in the stomach before turning his attention to the Undertaker wannabe punching him right in the scrotum. He hunches over and Danny lunges forward seeing his pants low. Danny sees opportunity aaaaaanndd…. YOINK! OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! FUCK! The kid screams as Danny gives him the mother of all wedgies making him scream so loud that every kid in the park can hear. Danny redirects his attention to the hunched over kid and he reaches over his back pulling his shirt over his head tying him up. Danny doesn’t know what a DDT is but he grabs his head in that front headlock before falling down into the sand slamming the Hulk Hogan kid into the floor. Danny rolls up to his feet as the third kid with the Mars Bar prepares for another attack. He lunges forward with a Clothesline but Danny does a forward roll landing on the opposite side of the kid behind him. The kid spins around to get a face and mouth full of sand especially in the eye area. Danny steps back preparing for the finish. Danny lunges forward hitting the earliest known version of a “Vegas Blackout”, albeit poorly executed but Danny flies forward catching the kid with the Mars Bar in the mouth sending him crashing down to the sand pit. The Mars Bar flies out of his hand and Caitlynn on instinct leaps up and catches it tumbling to the ground as the poor thief lies unconscious on the floor. Caitlynn unwraps the Mars Bar chewing at the top as a crowd gathers at where Danny has just dismantled 3 kids single-handedly. Danny: OK Caitlynn, come on let’s go play tag.The 2 Vegas kids walk off hand in hand leaving the crowd behind them in shock and awe as we draw to a fade.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:56:22 GMT -5
Segment: Provocation (Credit: Lucrezia / Alex Richmond)
Cesare's knees wobble in protest as he crouches behind a dumpster in the ACW parking lot, surveying the perimeter with a telescopic lens. The lens, a lost invention stolen from the diaries of Leonardo da Vinci, amplified the viewer's vision astronomically. Of course, Cesare set the lens on a relatively low setting. Pretty though subatomic particles may be, there would be plenty of time for such philosophical exploits later. Cardinal Ambrogio Damiano assigned his son a holy task--he would not fail his father now.
Cesare's attention starts to wander as the minutes slip by. Several moments pass before he realizes a brilliant emerald eye occupies the total area of his lens. Well acquainted with this particular iris, he pats the floor space beside him in a welcoming gesture. His sister titters, clucking her tongue like an anxious goose in prime hunting season. Cesare sets his lens down, casting an appraising glance in Lucrezia's direction. She's chewing her bottom lip, fingers a puzzle of milky sticks. Cesare grasps her jaw with firm fingers, preventing her sharpened teeth from puncturing her own skin.
Cesare: Lu? What's wrong?
Lucrezia: Bunnies. Floppy, hoppy, bunnies.
An eyebrow disappears behind Cesare's stylish bangs. Lucrezia's longstanding phobia of bunnies irks him as much as it is a longstanding source of endless amusement. Armed with several texts by Freud, he attempted to discern the source of such a phobia one day in the Vatican, but for all the answers Lucrezia gave him he might as well have been interrogating a doorknob. Cesare picks up his lens, now scanning for any 'floppy, hoppy, bunnies' in the vicinity. Still nothing, and no sign of jumpy creatures.
Cesare: His blood is making you see things. I told you not to consume the black one. You were an ill-prepared receptacle.
Lucrezia: Not for you. Never for you.
Cesare: Well, be that as it may--
Lucrezia: Ooooooooooooooooooo!
Lucrezia releases a pained, wolfish howl, her eyes rolling up inside her skull, pawing at invisible gnats in the air. Cesare shushes her, praying her canine intonations would not give away their hiding place.
Lucrezia: He is coming.
Sure enough, Cesare can make out the faint sound of approaching footsteps moments after Lucrezia's prophecy. He grins, nearly poking his eye out as he rushes to view the action through the power of the lens.
Cesare: Remind me to thank the Lord for your visions, Lu, in my next session of prayer.
Lucrezia: Don't eat up the silence!
She glares at her brother, pressing a firm finger to her lips. Cesare rolls his eyes, never particularly enjoying the experience of being chastised by his moonbrain of a sister. There's no time for a rebuttal, for the 'target' approaches, nearing his 1967 Shelby GT. Both siblings tense, hearts yammering for carnage.
Alex Richmond struts to his prized possession, his gait teeming with an unbridled cockiness. Whistling a tuneless harmony, the Entourage member fiddles for his keys, unlocking the door with a practiced twist. Cesare has a sharp intake of breath. Wait for it...
Alex Richmond: Holy sh--!
Time slows to a standstill. For Richmond, the world dissolves, leaving only three things behind: himself, his 1967 Shelby, and the explosive device strapped to the steering wheel. Counting down.
003.
Richmond whirls around, gathering up momentum for a massive sprint...
002.
He stops, torn between his life and his only baby...Cesare and Lucrezia cackle in symphonic chorus...
001.
His resolve strengthened, he dashes, making for a formidable looking Honda...
000.
Boom!
Alex Richmond: Arrrrrggghhhhhh!
He _nearly_ makes it. Of course, "nearly" never cuts it, and the force of the explosion sends Richmond rocketing through the air like a human torpedo. His shoulder collides with the wall at a frightening speed. When his vision clears, the first thing he sees is his once proud automobile beauty in shambles, utterly decimated by the explosive.
Alex Richmond: Who...and...why...?!
Cesare: Me. As for why, you're going to have to find out all by yourself.
He and Lucrezia step out from their hiding place, Cesare quite smug, and Lucrezia quite...well, Lucrezia. Richmond's brows furrow in an intense, blinding rage, face turning a deep shade of purple. Lucrezia smacks her lips, licking her bright red nails one by one, tummy audibly growling.
Lucrezia: May I have a turnip for dinner?
Cesare: You'll get your chance, love. We must depart before the authorities arrive.
Still dumbfound with rage, Richmond's temper does not improve when Lucrezia blows him an evil kiss. Before any retribution can be had, Cesare and Lucrezia flee in a flash of red and black.
Fade.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:56:52 GMT -5
Segment: A Change of Seasons (Among Other Things) (Credit: Senator / Hunter)
As the show returns, the Senatorial Office is occupied by one Andrew Hunter. Hunter is currently seated at the Senator's usual seat in the office when the door suddenly opens...
?: Out. Immediately.
Senator Steve Phillips stands in the doorway, a folder full of papers under one arm, and a gym bag in the other.
Hunter: Eh, I'd prefer not to. I quite like it here.
The Senator: I said "out," Hunter!
Hunter: Jesus, what crawled up your ass and died?
The Senator: Hunter, I have put up with your egregious attitude for long enough. I have allowed for you to disrespect me, and to disrespect the rest of this Stable, for long enough. But after what I just found out a few moments ago---
Hunter: What? What'd you find out, Sennie? I'd quite like to know myself.
Senator: If you would uproot yourself from the seat you currently, and temporarily, occupy, I will be more than glad to show you what you already know. Back last year, we both know you faked your death and kept it faked for almost half a year. Then you decided to come back, and I have not asked you a single time what you did, where you did it, or even why you did it, and I will maintain that position. However, it has come to my attention that, during this time, there were some funds of mine that were indiscreetly taken out and used for God knows what. Now I have kept my funds and the like under lock and key, but I do know of a few people who know of their whereabouts, and more specifically, how to get to them.
Hunter: What the hell are you implying?
The Senator: You used my money to fund your "beyond-the-grave" activities, whatever they may have been!
Hunter's face remains blank for a few moments, and thus it is impossible to tell what he is thinking. But one can guess.
Hunter: I...I don't know what the hell you're talking about, I never---
Senator: Get out. Just get out. I have nothing further to say to you right now.
Hunter: Seriously, it was probably Fitsharris or someone. He may be a 'tard, nay, a FUCKING 'tard, but he's still strangely capable in terms of finding money. Like, he has a Spider Sense for this sort of---
Senator: I do not wish to have to ask security to give you the heave-to, but I will, if you leave me no other choice.
Hunter: Really, I...you know what, fuck this! I know I'm fucking innocent, even if you've already made up your goddamn mind about this shit.
Senator: Very well then. Get out.
Hunter hops out of the chair and over the barrier separating the Senator's desk from the rest of the Senatorial Office. Hunter stops a few feet in front of the Senator and simply stares at him, not saying a word. The Senator does not know how exactly to react; he does not recall having seen this face on Hunter. Hunter shakes his head slightly and lowers it.
Hunter: ...fucker...
And with that, he leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him. The Senator doesn't move for a few seconds, and then drops his gym bag and makes his way over to the desk. He sits down and puts the folders on top of it, and then puts his face in his hands and sighs. He knows that this isn't over, and that's the part that bothers him.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:57:26 GMT -5
Betrayal
Part One: Day Off [/color] Credit: Jake Cheng and Michael[/center] The Apartment Of Jake Cheng; ACW Island.
March 3rd 2008 2:32 PM”Impluse” by An Endless SporadicGreen, green, red, yellow, green, red, yellow, green, red, green yellow. Jake press the colored frets and whacks at the strum bar with his thumb, perfectly executing the introduction to the Guitar Hero III bonus song. He rocks out in his own zone as Kirsten Carter walks out of the bathroom in a red bathrobe and her wet hair over her left shoulder. She walks behind Jake and puts her arms around his neck, but he does nothing to acknowledge her. With a mocking scoff, she eventually lets go and lightly whacks Jake upside the head before walking around to the front of the couch. She maneuvers her way behind Jake, who scoots out so that Kirsten can kneel behind him. She starts giving her a back message and he wriggles with pleasure. Kirsten: So you taking that day off today, that you have been waiting for for so long? Jake: I sense some sarcasm. Fuck yeah, star power! Jake tilts his guitar up, coming dangerously close to Kirsten’s head, but she doesn’t flinch, knowing Jake won’t actually hit her. He strums the simple green button rhythm with no problem, having listened to this song so much that he remembers the strum pattern in this section. Kirsten continues to knead her fingers into Jake’s upper back. She smiles and digs her finger into one spot real good, and Jake misses a note. Jake: Hey! Kirsten: Oh, I'm sowwy. Is it too wuff for the itty witty baby? Toughen up, sonny Jim. Jake scoffs.Kirsten: What's the matter with you anyway, you feel okay? Jake: I feel fine. Kirsten: You’re voice sounds different, even more whiny emo than usual. Jake: Oh. Well I feel fine. Kirsten gets up from behind the Quadrinity and plops down on his right, legs folded “Indian” style. Her tone and mannerisms quickly shift from one of sarcasm to one of geniune concern. Kirsten: Jake...don't shut me out like this. Please, baby. Jake: I have nothing- Kirsten: You’re still pissed about your loss to F- Jake: Right. And I have a right to be. Ten days ago, I was the ACW World Heavyweight Champion. And now I can’t even win a match. Hell, the last time I won a straight up wrestling match was when I beat Jay Zero two months ago. I won the World title though a children’s game, and managed to beat Alicia because of BK’s rage issues and Taylor because of FSX’s mental issues. Kirsten: Jakie-poo just listen... Jake: And then I lose my title to that egomaniacal baboon Thunderkiss because he managed to pin the shoo-in of the match. So things couldn’t get worse....oh wait they did. I fight X and I am handed my one hundredth loss. Damnit, X does shit for this company. Is he ever around here? No. Is he training in the arena? Nope. I bet he doesn’t do anything wrestling related and just comes back to the arena to wrestle and STILL wins. It’s bullshit. Oh Jake, you and your CRAZY ideas! Kirsten searches her vocabulary for the right thing to say to her disgruntled boyfriend. Coming up empty, she simply puts her head on his shoulder to show her support. He smiles and kisses her on the forehead. Jake returns to his video game and now chooses the song “Can’t Be Saved” by Senses Fail. But before the songs even starts, Jake puts the controller down and starts tip toeing around his apartment, staring up at the ceiling. Kirsten: What- Jake: Shh! Jake sneaks across the floor to the large window that overlooks a wooded area. His apartment has the best view, being at the top of the building. He gets low and tilts his head, trying to get the best angle of the roof above. He stays low and looks over at the confused Kirsten who leans over the couch to see what Jake is doing. Jake *Whispering*: Get down! Kirsten: What? Jake *Whispering*: Get- A rock goes through the window and lands in the middle of the room. Kirsten jumps and Jake shields his head from the small amount of glass that falls on him. The rock....opens up? Smoke begins to pour out and fill the room. Kirsten: Jake, what the fuck is this? Jake: K, just stay low and cover your mouth. Kirsten: When I said I wanted to explore the Japanese culture, I was talking about trying the new Spider Roll at Blue Fin! Jake: Just do what I said and you’ll be fi- Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Just then the window completely shatters. Someone lands a few feet from Jake. Jake looked to only see two dark socked feet a foot or so from his head. They are only there for a second before darting into the smoke-filled room. Staying still, Jake has no clue on how to react. Kirsten: MOTHERF-- Jake starts to crawl toward the voice, but he knows he won’t find it when the man dashes past him and out the window. Jake gets up and goes over to the window, tries to open it but stupidly realizes that it was broken mere moments ago. The smoke pours out of the window, clearing the room. The room looks like nothing even occurred, minus the glass shards on the floor and the remnants of a smoke grenade. And Kirsten is gone. Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:57:55 GMT -5
Segment: Prelude to an Epilogue (Credit: AK)
Well then… the secret, such as it is, is out. It’s been quite a whirlwind week for Alicia Laureano; having grappled in silence with the dilemma of how to break the news of her impending departure to her rostermates and the ACW fanbase, any plans she may have had for a low-key final flourish have subsequently crumbled, thanks to none other than “The Internet” himself, Kevin Anderson. With all the subtlety of the Drudge Report’s coverage of affairs in Afghanistan, Kevin’s “world exclusive” on his personal blog on the Monday after Bloody Valentine has been the catalyst for a server crash on the ACW website, dozens of calls to head office, and a nostalgic download spike of the famed “Latin Lovers” video. Frankly, it’s not that often Alicia feels empathy with a highly privileged member of her nation’s monarchy (though she naturally has hazy memories of falling out of nightclubs at Stupid o’clock in the morning from her own younger days, fortunately in no way resembling a member of the Nazi party); but tonight she can’t help but feel that things have slipped somewhat from her grasp. It’s a situation she intends to rectify, as best she can.
Essentially dressed for her match (but as yet without her entrance costume coat and headband), she walks down to the interview area where Charlotte King is waiting. Kevin, conveniently, has been tipped off about a major scoop with an unnamed superstar who just happens to want to meet him on the far side of the parking lot right at this moment, leaving the two ladies to conduct their conversation unaccosted. Charlotte taps her mic experimentally before taking the cue from the cameraman and segueing smoothly in the introduction.
Charlotte: I’m here backstage with Alicia Laureano. Alicia, I’m sure there must be many questions on everyone’s minds, but I think I can sum them up in one: What’s behind your decision to retire from ACW?
Alicia scratches her head, half smiling.
Alicia: Well, Charlotte, I don’t think I’ll be surprising anyone when I say that I’ve thought long and hard before taking this step. This is, after all, one of the finest wrestling organizations of the present time, or dare I say it any time at all. It’s been the centre of my life since it opened nearly four years ago now, and everyone associated with the company means a great deal to me. Roster, trainers, management, crew, and of course the fans…
There’s a pop from the crowd at this point, as you might expect. Alicia’s smile gets a little brighter, before fading back somewhat.
Alicia: I’ve always wanted to perform at my best when I’m out in that ring. And to be your best, you have to put absolutely everything you’ve got, mind, body and soul, into the fight. In all honesty, it takes a toll on all of us… and in the last few months, I guess I’ve become more acutely aware of that. None of us has infinite reserves of strength, Charlotte – and for those of us of the feminine persuasion, there comes a time when we have to look ahead and decide what we want most in the years to come.
She pauses; Charlotte has already worked out where this is leading; in fact, she’d suspected it from the moment she first heard the news.
Charlotte: So, I take it this means…?
Alicia: Yes. Victor and I have talked things over at length, and we’ve decided we’re ready to start trying for a child of our own. Clearly, being pregnant and continuing to compete are not compatible activities for a mother-to-be… and I would never wish to cause disruption to the federation by withdrawing from match commitments with no warning. So there has to be a clean break, which is why I handed in my notice to Chairman Gingerdude about a week prior to Bloody Valentine itself.
Charlotte: What was the reason for your silence since then?
Alicia: To put it succinctly, Charlotte, I wasn’t really sure how to broach the subject. Plus, I didn’t want my departure to divert attention from the things of real importance going on in ACW – the titles, the new guys coming up and making names for themselves. This federation should be looking toward its future, not unduly distracted by the past.
Charlotte nods. She’s not sure how her next question will go down, but feels it needs to be asked.
Charlotte: What do you have to say about rumors posted on some internet columns that your decision was triggered by a lack of respect from certain members of the ACW roster?
Alicia frowns slightly, and pauses for a moment before answering.
Alicia: I want to be absolutely clear that I have no issues whatsoever with the way in which people choose to pursue their aims here in ACW. It’s unfortunate that, in a couple of my recent matches, the outcomes were affected by actions external to the contest which I was engaged in at the time. But everyone should understand that such things are part and parcel of this business. It’s disappointing that the results of my matches against Jake Cheng and Fallen Souls were not accurate reflections of the way those contests played out before the respective interruptions… but that in itself has not been an especial catalyst for the decisions I have taken since. I would, however, like to extend an invitation to both Jake and Fallen to have a rematch with me before my contract is completed, if they so wish.
Charlotte: Interesting… and when does that event happen?
Alicia: March 17th. That will be my last ACW show.
There’s a bit of a buzz from the crowd, as the fans wonder what will happen between now and then. Hearing the producer in her ear, Charlotte moves to wind things up.
Charlotte: Well, thank you Alicia for taking the time to talk to us. I hope your remaining time in ACW is enjoyable – not that it looks as if you’re getting off lightly, seeing as you’re up against the new World Champion tonight. Any thoughts?
Alicia smiles.
Alicia: That was a stupendous world title match at the PPV, wasn’t it? I have enormous respect for all those involved, they are all worthy of the belt… but in the end, the man who went the extra mile rightly collected the prize. I’m looking forward to seeing how far he’s come since our last encounter…
She looks at the camera, enigmatic as ever, and the shot fades quickly.
End.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:59:04 GMT -5
Match 4: Limelight vs. Jonny Hughes (Credit: Danny Mainer)
EARLY: This match was fast-paced and was pretty raw. Limelight got an early lead after drilling Hughes with a vicious sidewalk slam right onto his spine and then started to lay on with the clubbing blows to the head as well as trapping headbutts slamming his huge noggin into the head of Mr. Jonny Hughes beating him senseless. Limelight then lifted him up to his feet and went for a Headbutt but Hughes countered with a picturesque Spinebuster drilling him into the mat. When Limelight was done Hughes would snap on sleeper holds and random submissions. He managed to hit a Rolling Japanese Arm Drag to the delight of the crowd but after a failed Scoop Slam attempt Limelight quickly got back on his feet and started to smash into Hughes again with the smashmouth brawling style that he’s known for. Limelight managed to hit another Sidewalk Slam which got the crowd in mixed reactions.
MID-WAY: When it got to the mid way things began to slow down a little, Limelight backed Hughes up into a corner and would repeatedly kick him in the ribs to wear out his energy quickly. Limelight at one moment pulled Hughes up to his feet and looked to hit another Side-Walk Slam but Hughes countered and hit some stiff knife edge chops and a headbutt of his own and a quick and deadly German Suplex slamming Limelite on his neck. Hughes managed to hit Limelight with the perfect series and a cover but only for the 2 count but Limelight went on a rager and KO’d Hughes with a Yakuza Kick followed by a HUGE powerbomb drilling Hughes to the mat and with a swift kick to the head following it. Limelight tried to cover but Hughes kicked out violently. Limelight grabs Hughes by his head peeling him off the ground trying to hit a High Angle Spinebuster but Hughes went overhead rolling Limelight up before standing up twisting Limelight onto his back locking in a Texas Cloverleaf to a monstrous pop from the crowd.
FINISH: The two traded mat-wrestling and strikes repeatedly a few times right up until the finish. Limelight had Hughes backed right up into a corner and looked to hit a Yakuza Kick into the corner but Hughes threw his own boot out catching Lime right in the jaw. Lime hit the ground like a sack of shit, Hughes capitalized and hit an Ode to Dynamite and he got the crowd riled up as he looked about ready to finish him off. Lime stumbled to his feet drunkenly after the Diving Headbutt pushing up to his feet. Hughes stands in the corner waiting and watching measuring up Lime for the Anaconda Vice. Hughes swoops in when Lime spins around preparing for the clutch but Limelight delivers a sickening right elbow to the temple sending him stumbling off. Limelight grabs Hughes by the head whipping him to the corner. Lime then hits a thunderous turnbuckle Lariat sending him stumbling drunkenly out of it, then hoisting him up on the shoulders as Savich climbs onto the apron. Savich then yells out “TKO!” and Hughes realizes that he’s done. Lime throws Hughes around while sitting down for a VICIOUS Fireman’s Cutter. Lime hooks the legs for the 123.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:59:23 GMT -5
Segment: Gabe and Bo in trouble (Credit: Mr. Red)
Gabriel Peters is shown walking into Bo Diaz's locker room. Bo spins around and hops to his feet. They both stare nose to nose for a while.
Bo: Can I help you with something?
Gabe: Yes. We have to talk. I have some things to get off of my chest.
Bo: You have a problem with me now? First you wanted to hang Red, now you want to finish me?
Gabe: I am looking to avenge the death of my father and your name jumps to the top of the list.
Bo: Bite me. You are the one that stabbed him. You are just as guilty with his death as Red and I are.
Gabe: I am thinking of kicking your ass right here, fucker.
Mr. and Mrs. Red walk into the locker room just as the two ball their hands into fists and gear up to swing.
Red: Whoops, wrong place, wrong time.
They both turn and head out the door as Gabe and Bo begin a locker room brawl. Both share a series of vicious punches before Gabe shoves Bo to the ground and mounts him. He lands a few more punches before Bo throws him off. Bo gets to his feet and stomps a couple times at Gabe before he finally rolls out of the way.
A few officials come in to break things up but get thrown to the ground for their efforts. Gabriel gains an upper hand on Bo and locks in his Camel-Lock submission. More officials race in to break the two combatants apart.
The camera fades out as one of the officials says "This is going to cost you both."
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 17:59:49 GMT -5
Segment: A continuation… (Credit: Freeman / CheFalcon)
ACW returns from a commercial break and immediately "Ice Train's" WCW theme plays. A chorus of boos are heard as Thunder Train walks from behind the curtain. With a smirk on his face the man walks down to the ring wearing a brand new "Thunder Train" T-shirt. As he makes his way into the ring some fans attempt to throw drinks into the ring but fail miserably. He turns and starts yelling in the general direction of where the drink was thrown which causes more boos to be heard. He grabs a microphone and starts talking.
Thunder Train: Let's cut right to the chase here. Freeman, you just had to get involved with me, didn't you? You could have just said no to Leon, but you said yes. Now what originally happened, in case you've been living under a rock for the past few weeks, the start to this whole thing was business. Thunderkiss told me to attack Ricky after the match, and I did that. But, Leon took it upon himself to question my decision to do it.
Thunder Train: So, I told that crippled cook to find someone to represent him in a match. He found Freeman. Freeman, you underestimated me. You thought that I was just another guy that you would have a match with. But I took it upon myself a little over a week ago at Bloody Valentine to prove that I wasn't going to be just another guy on the roster. I was going to show that Thunder Train is a force to be reckon with.
The fans start to chant "You suck!" at Thunder Train but Train just ignores them until they die down.
Thunder Train: As I was saying, Freeman, I hate to break it to you, but you are just the beginning of a career that is going to be like no other! And now, after this attack on me to get my attention, its become more personal then ever before.
Just then "Ugly" by the Exies hits the speakers. Out walks Jason Freeman to boos also. He has a microphone in hand and doesn't walk down to the ring and stays on the stage.
Freeman: True, true, true, true...I guess you're right when you say that I didn't need to accept the match...but I told you, I had nothing else to do! Though, that was my reason at first...and I guess you're right. Maybe I underestimated you. Maybe I thought it would be just another match against some guy, but....hey, you proved me wrong, right! You showed me! Though...I'm not quite sure I agree with some of the things you said.
Freeman pauses, and puts on a mock look of being deep in thought...as if reflecting on some of Train's quotes, though he most probably already knew what he was going to say.
Freeman: You see...it seems that you think that I was the beginning of your career...like...by sneak attacking me once, and then deciding to just screw our match and beat me down another time, that your career has risen! You seem to think that you're going to actually beat me in the ring, which I find kind of strange. Now, the way I see it...we're not through, and I think I showed that to you on Thursday in a very effective way.
He sighs pleasantly to himself, to make it clear how fondly he looks back on those shots that he got in, just trying to get under Train's skin.
Freeman: Now I did that, because I wanted to make sure that you didn't think you were just going to forget about me and leave it at that. Now, we never did get to have our match really, and as I said..., while at first I was doing this by request from Chase, right now I'm doing it for me. I'm not just about to let things go. I hope now that you are sufficiently angry enough to agree to that. So while we're both on the assumption that we aren't through with each other, I suppose there isn't much more that I can say, except that yes, I might have underestimated you...
Train yells back "THAT'S RIGHT YOU DID!" and Freeman merely waves his hand at him to stop talking, while he continues.
Freeman: But if you honestly think that I'm going to be afraid of you....then you should start reconsidering. Because sure, maybe you won't be an easy opponent, but hey, I think I'm fairly confident that I could beat you...and so...no, I'm not that worried. Every little shot you've given to me, I PROMISE you, I'm going to give you right back as soon as I get the chance, and I'm DEFINITELY not finished after Thursday.
Thunder Train: Oh yeah? Well why don't you come down here and say that to me face to face?
Freeman: I have absolutely no problem with that!
Thunder Train takes off his leather jacket and throws it down to the mat and gestures Freeman to bring it on. Freeman tosses the microphone away and takes off his shirt and makes his way to the ring also. He is just about to get into the ring when security comes out and restrains Freeman. Thunder Train gets out of the ring and tries to attack Freeman, but security retrains him also not allowing the two to meet. Freeman yells at Train who responds with "THE TRAIN IS ALWAYS HUNGRY!" Freeman turns around and heads to the back. Its obvious that these two are defiantly not finished. The only question now is, how far will this go?
Fade.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 18:00:27 GMT -5
Segment: "Guilty Conscious" Credit: T-Kiss / Lucrezia
[Lacing up his boots isn’t coming easy tonight. Shocked to learn of AK’s retirement over a week ago, he met the news with mixed emotions. Facing her tonight in one of her last matches brings them all back on the surface and TK is having a rough time with it. Residing next to him on his bench is tonight’s program, intentionally opened up to her profile. For many minutes he has been sitting there, staring at her picture reminiscing about all the memories the two have shared.]
Anna Sommers: You still have feelings for her, don’t you?
[Startled, TK jerks his body around and his eye falls upon Anna’s. She knows him well now, well enough to know when he lying. Comforted by this fact, he blurts out the honest truth.]
TK: Love? No....not anymore. Did I have feelings of love for her in the past? I will not lie, I did.
[She looks away, her heart set afire with feelings of resentment and disappointment.]
Anna: I see.
TK: Please, don’t be like that. It’s totally not what you are thinking. Please let me explain. Being a man who has, how shall we say, a fine appreciation for females...
Anna *interrupting*: You have a hard time keeping your dick in your pants, don’t try to be cute about it.
TK: Yes, well, ahem. Anyway, when I first came into this company I saw her as a Greek Goddess. Strong, successful, hell ..almost a female version of myself.
Anna: Wow, you are so not helping yourself here.
TK: Just listen! Yes, I had grand visions of her someday around my arm. I teased and tried but it was as if I was invisible to her. Time and time again she rejected me.
Anna: Maybe the fact she has a husband had something to do with that. Call it a hunch.
TK: Touche. Anna, you have to realize this was long before I learned the hard way that love at first sight is indeed real. Long before I met you.
[He sits down besides her on the couch. Anna turns away from him and folds her arms in protest.]
TK: Anna, when you disappeared, it was extremely hard on me. When you are away from me, I constantly wonder what you are doing. When I wake up in the morning, you’re the first thing I look at to make sure you’re still here with me. I don’t want you to feel bad, that’s not the point here. I just want you to know when you left I was completely crushed. I guess that’s normal to go through when you lose something you love.
[He places his hand on her shoulder. Anna reaches up and places her hand atop his and leans back into him.]
TK: During that time I was not a nice person to be around. Unfortunately for AK, she became my object of both my lust and wrath. I was hellbent to replace the void you left in my life with her. I am a man who has always gotten anything and everything he’s always wanted. In my mind I simply couldn’t accept that was something out there that even I couldn’t posses. First I couldn’t have you and then her. It was too much for me to take. I became crazed. Obsessed. I was not a well man. God only knows what I put that woman through. Remember when you told me what she said to you at the hotel? About me?
Anna: Yes.
TK: She was right. 500% right. As I said earlier, I do not harbor feelings of love towards her. However, I do now feel great sense of guilt about what I did. I know the whole Kiss Army is frothing at the mouth right now for me to go out there and scream, "bitch took my eye" again, but I can’t. Not tonight. That’s why I looked the way I did when you came in. I can’t please them, not tonight.
[Seeing the worry and nervousness in his face, Anna lifts up and gives him a soft affectionate kiss.]
Anna: Well, you pleased me tonight. And that’s all that really matters.
TK: I love you.
Anna: I love you too. Now go out there and do what you have to do.
[He smiles and heads out the door, ready to face the challenge of Alicia Kitsune for the last time. His feelings of guilt will have to be pushed aside for the moment and replaced with his competitive spirit so he can give AK a parting gift he’ll know she’ll appreciate, that being a hard fought match to the end.]
[FADE]
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 18:00:54 GMT -5
Segment: Body of Evidence (Credit: BK)
As the scene opens it, almost instantly we are brought to a shot of Chairman Gingerdude - who gets a bit of a mixed reaction from the crowd. He is pacing back and forth in his office, looking a bit worried, until he hears his door opening. He sharply turns his head in the direction of the door, and BK London steps in the room to a bit of a pop from the crowd.
The pacing comes to a complete halt, and he wastes no time inviting BK London over to his desk. It's time to get down to business. Gingerdude has been looking forward to this meeting all evening, and BK has been looking fowards to this - all 45 minutes.
Gingerdude: First thing's first BK, how are you feeling?
BK London: - Cut the crap and get to the point.
Gingerdude: Fine. Now, last week on Meltdown, you saw fit to attack Adrian Flamin-
BK London: Oh dear god, not this again.
Gingerdude: Oh yes, this again. You see BK London, you saw fit to attack a helpless, injured, and most importantly, paralyzed wrestler last week on Meltdown. You know how that makes ACW look, huh? We cannot and WILL NOT tolerate any violence towards the handicapped, I won't stand for it.
BK London: For the last time, he's faking it. Why won't anyone believe me? It's like everyone in this damn building caught the stupid.
Gingerdude: Well listen, I've recieved official medical records from his doctors in the mail today, and the diagnosis is, that Adrian Flamingo is indeed a parapalegic.
BK London: Medical records huh? May I see these "medical records" that you speak of?
Gingerdude: Well, Adrian requested that these records do NOT leak out to anyone but myself and his doctors, but I did recieve another thing in the mail you can read.
THWACK!
Gingerdude slams down on his desk a large brown envelope, inside, contains a stack full of papers with writing on it. BK opens the envelope and begins thumbing through the stack of pages.
Gingerdude: As you can read, this is a lawsuit from Adrian Flamingo's lawyers and he's prepared to sue both ACW and yourself for endangering him last week on Meltdown. BUT, the only way he will stop pressing charges is if you apologize to him in the middle of that ring this Thursday.
BK London: ....no.
Gingerdude: Excuse me?
BK London: Why should I apologize to him? He's faking this whole thing.
Gingerdude: This is not an option BK London, if you don't apologize him, he could sue both you and ACW for all it's worth. We both could be financially ruined, and I'm not taking that risk. So come this Thursday on Meltdown, you WILL apologize face to face with Adrian Flamingo.
BK London: And if I don't?
Gingerdude: And if you don't, you can say goodbye to another 4 months of your ACW career, because you WILL be suspended - without pay.
Massive boos can be heard throughout the arena, even through the thick walls of Chairman Gingerdude's office they can be heard.
Gingerdude: Got it?
BK London continues to stare at Gingerdude, and if looks could kill, the man would be pushing up daises. But strangely, a smirk begins to form, and even Gingerdude is taken back by this sudden change in attitude.
BK London: Deal. But Ginger, I have a proposition for you.
Gingerdude: Which is?
BK London: Which is, if I prove that Adrian Flamingo is not paralyzed, not physically handicapped, not disabled by any means - I want him in a match at Genocide.
The roof nearly blows off the top of the building when they hear this proposition for the Chairman. The possibilities fly through the head of Gingerdude, this possible one on one match has been brewing for a long time, and if indeed Flamingo is faking it - he could get an enormous PPV buyrate out of it. His mind is made up.
Gingerdude: ....you're on!
Another huge pop follows.
Gingerdude: But you have to reveal it BEFORE the Genocide pay-per view. Got it?
BK London: Oh most definitely. And trust me, by March 22nd 2008 - for the first time anywhere - it will be Adrian Flamingo versus BK London. And you can take that to the bank..
BK London shows himself the way out of Gingerdude's office, and the camera is left on the Chairman for a few more moments. He picks up the official medical documents of Adrian Flamingo and begins to analyze it himself as the cameras fade out.
Fade Out
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 18:02:35 GMT -5
"Annoyance" (Credit: Anonymous)
It seems I've ruffled a few feathers already. I can see that I'm doing the right thing. I'm getting off on the right foot and I'm subsequently leaving you all behind. It sucks, doesn't it? Not knowing what is going on, but only being able to sit back and watch as this unfolds.
I'm fully enjoying this too. You have no clue how fulfilling it is. The feeling can't be described. It's so many words and yet so few words at the same time. It has to be just how you feel. So many words to describe it, but so few coming to mind. Maybe you'll know what to say in 54 days.
But the question I pose to you is "can you bear another 54 days of anonymity?" Can you handle the strain this is putting on your minds? Can you handle any of this?
I seriously doubt it. You've shown no proof of being capable of handling this. But enough of that.
54 days until Fallen Heroes. 54 days until you find out who I am. 54 days until ACW gets toppled from the ground up. 54 days until I have my satisfaction. 54 days and counting.
The clock is ticking. Are you prepared for what is about to come? Can your simple mind possibly comprehend the cascading effect that my presence will have on ACW?
I don't think you can and I don't think you will.
"I can wait. But can you?"
A timer shows "54 Days Remaining" and that's all that remains.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 18:03:01 GMT -5
Segment: “Invasion of Love - Part 2” (Credit: FSX) THE ISLE OF ACW 2/28/08 Emotions are a powerful thing, aren't they? They'll make you confess your love from the rooftops on a man-made bridge while wearing a dead peacock as a coat, and at the same time can make you truly hate. More often then not people are going through several different emotions at once, and have trouble with sitting on one and letting it hatch into a beautiful flower of happiness. Such is fate. Believe it or not, virgins also happen to have emotions. They may not know how to use them properly, but they exist. It's their undeveloped minds of romance and their inability to grow into respectable adults that makes people so disturbed and afraid of them. Luckily, kind individuals will spend time saving their souls of eternal sadness. Fallen Souls happens to be one of those people, and Tim happens to be one of those virgins!Tim: Where is he? The show has been over forever...Oh man, I can't be stood up again! Not like this! The poor boy. Frantic as a stray cat that happened to have rabies, Tim was pacing back and forth in the parking lot as he constantly took a look back to the golden and wonderful doors that Fallen was bound to burst out of. Any second now, any second...any second...aaaand...NOW!Talk about NO ONE APPEARING! Silence happens.Or maybe not, after all... Tim appears to be on the verge of tears as the random individual who offered to help him find a woman seems to have disappeared, and he is left to wallow in self pity over the fact his mother is dead and no one wants his virginity. As he begins to cry silently, he wipes away the tears and tries his best to be a man about it. Unfortunately, he just doesn't know HOW to be a real man, and drops to the ground in a pitiful fetal position of sadness.Tim: Why do bad things always happen to me?! I must have the worst life in the world! ??: Now, you know that isn't true! Perking up his head as he sniffled, Tim's eyes widened and a bright smile soon appeared on his face as the camera panned to show the heroic and awesome form of FSX standing their in a pose. Well, it wasn't really a pose, but it COULD of been one! As Tim slowly gets to his feet and nearly tackles Fallen to the ground with a hug, the International Champion seems more stressed over what his pupil of love had said a moment earlier.FSX: You really shouldn't be believing you have the worst life in the world. For your information, their is a lot of starvation and poverty in the world. In some third world countries, children don't even get to experience a child hood. They are born and immediately put into child labor, learning nothing else and living their lives to work. In Ecuador there is a village where the people are harvested as energy juices. In Korea there is an orphanage where every child is raised to kill the parents that abandoned them. So...DON'T BE SAYING YOU HAVE IT WORSE OFF! Tim: Oh...I never knew! FSX: Talk about ignorant. Well, now you do! The more you know! NBC would be proud of such a positive and bizarre message being aired on another network and stealing one of their phrases for it's own personal gain. Anyway, with that out of the way Fallen seems to have forgiven his little and insignificant friend, giving him a pat on the back as he takes a quick look around for a car.FSX: Alright Tim, we're going to waste no time and get right into your training! Tim: Great! Are we going to a strip club or something? Maybe we could get a prostitute at the flea market! I heard from my buddy on AIM they have a great stock of hentai and cheap Japanese women! I bought this costume of Chun Li online that I could dress her up in for extra! FSX: ...What? Tim: Let's get going! SLAP! is the only sound that can be heard in the distance. Well, it doesn't really make that sound when someone is slapped upside the head, but it sure is more literal! As Tim once again verges on tears, Fallen can only look to him sternly and in disgust.FSX: We are NOT just getting you a prostitute, Tim! That will completely ruin the point of this story! The goal here is for you to find true love, not just a cheap one night stand! And for the record, you are NOT awesome enough to get a girl to dress up as Chun Li. You'd have to be a General of Awesome of some sort for that, ok?! Tim: Y..yes, Master. FSX: Ok...good...well, anyway, your LESSONS of how to get a woman start today! Both men have seemed to of calmed down as Tim lowers his guard, and FSX lowers his fists, and they both begin to walk through the darkness of the backstage area as Tim closely follows the lead of his fearless leader. What fun!FSX: Now, I'm not the proper person to be giving out love advice and helping you get laid or anything. You need a professional! So I've been calling up guys all morning, and you'll never guess who I had to settle for! Tim: Oh! Is it Flavor Flav? FSX: Nope, no gigantic accessories on this guy! Tim: How about Bret Michaels? FSX: He'd be POISON to any relationship! Think lower! Tim: How about that New York girl? FSX: Ok, think outside fake Celebrities and VH1 romance shows, alright? I couldn't afford any of them. As Tim continued to ponder just who Fallen had got to teach him the ways of romance and love, he soon got the answer he was looking for! But not the person. No one would look for this person! As a small and rusty buggy slowly began to putter and roll into the parking lot at a grand speed of 3 miles per hour, blaring music began to play! Upon hearing it, however, his face became that of a horrified man and he immediately hid behind Fallen Souls and begged him to reconsider who would teach him about love...but it was too late.WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME....DON'T HURT ME....NO MORE!FSX: That's right! I got you the one and only, Chris Kattan! Tim: OH GOD NO!!! PLEASE, HAVE MER-- is Will Ferrell coming too? FSX: No. Tim: OH GOD NO!!!! As Tim dropped to his knees and began to pray, likely for god to strike down Chris Kattan before he can come out of the car and teach him about Love, Fallen simply shakes his head and goes to greet the man who was a celebrity a few years ago! Well, not really... Either way, as his hunk of metal finally comes to a stop, Tim can only let out a horrific scream as he dives out of the vehicle and begins his signature head bump! Hmm..Chris Kattan looks notably shorter and heavier now...and more mexican..Chris Kattan?: Wha iz loove? Babee don't hurta me...don't hurta me..no mo. Tim: Hey, this guy doesn't seem so bad! In fact, he's kind of cool! TV sure made him look different! FSX: What? No! This isn't Chris Kattan at all! Where the fucking hell is Chris Katten, IMPOSTER?! Chris Kattan?: Wha? I iz Chr...chr...okee, I iz not. Miztah Katana paid me to shoe up az him. I iz Lorrrrenzoo RIIIIVEEEERAAA FSX: I see..I should of guessed you'd be a Rivera! With your bad english! So he paid you off, did he? That bastard! Tim: Home Depot workers will do anything..wow.. Lorenzo: Wha? No Home Depot!...Racisimo... As Tim looks to the ground in shame, a burning fury seems to grow and appear in the angry eyes of the angry man that is Fallen Souls! Beginning to walk away from the two in a huff, he stops for a brief moment to look over his shoulder at them and glare.FSX: Teach him a lesson of love, Lorenzo. I've got to pay Kattan a little visit. Tim: Uh oh...will this end well for me? Will Lorenzo attack me with his Pinata stick, or teach me about love? Am I a racist? Probably not...I don't think so. I'm just funny, right? As Tim spends a moment stealing my ending bit well Lorenzo gives him a glare that can only mean that Tim will not be in one piece by the time that Fallen gets back, the camera slowly fades away. What a twist! Chris Kattan, a thief? Not all that surprising after he's done nothing that means anything for the past eight years! I suppose that more drama awaits! What will become of this twist filled journey of love? I can't wait to find out!
Fade out.........or is it?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later on, in suburban Utah...Chris Kattan: I'm a genius! $97 dollars and I didn't even have to do anything! Now all I have to do is make their be another Night at the Roxbury movie, and I'm SET FOR LIFE! ??: I don't think so, fiend! Diving out from the darkness, Chris can only let out a girlish cry as Fallen Souls takes him to the ground, and the camera shows a silhouette of brutality taking place. Take THAT, Mr. Bad Actor!
Real fade out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Mar 3, 2008 18:03:21 GMT -5
[/color] Credit: Jake Cheng[/center] Back Alley; ACW Island.
March 3rd 2008: Right NowYou all know what a kidnapper van looks like. Well, there is one of those in our back alley setting. Two American men sit in the front on the van, each with his own outlook on the situation they have found themselves in. A large, muscular man sits in the driver seat, constantly switching from looking at his side view mirror which points to the alley’s entrance and his rear view mirror to check on the unconscious woman that his partner grabbed. And the partner is a small man, whose feet are up on the dashboard as he smokes a cigar.
Small Man: Why are you so nervous, Jack? Jack: You grabbed the wrong person, Todd. I don’t want to die because you are an idiot. Todd: Whoa, not my fault the bitch is so similar to Cheng. And we won’t die they can still- Jack: Hold up. I think they are here. A second white kidnapper van turns down the alleyway and pulls up behind the first van that blocks the rest of the alley. Two men with short dark hair, dark sunglasses and dark suits exit the van. Todd leaves the van to meet these men, but Jack timidly stays in the car. After growing a pair, Jack follows suit behind his partner.
Todd: Hello.
Driver: Hello. You have him?
Jack: N...n...
Todd: No. But before you say anything-
Driver: We are paying you two to kidnap Mr. Cheng.
Todd: We know what you are paying us to do. A mistake was made during the operation, but it might have been made for the better.
Driver: It will be awfully hard for my boss to do to Mr. Cheng what he would like to without him being there.
Todd: Well I don’t care what you want to do to him, but it can’t be good. So, let’s do it this way. You pay us half what you said before and we’ll give you this.
Todd nudges Jack and Jack looks back at Todd. Jack realized what he wanted Todd to do. He opens the back of the van to reveal a tied up Kirsten Carter. The driver takes off his sunglass to get a better look into the darkness of the van, revealing his Chinese descent.
Driver: This is the girlfriend.
Jack nods furiously.
Driver: You got a deal. The money will be wired to the designated bank account. Grab her.
The passenger of the Chinese’s man van reaches into the back of the van and slings Kirsten over his shoulder. Todd and the Chinese driver shake hands as Jack shuts the van doors. The American men get back into their van and the Driver takes a device out of his pocket. He attaches it to the back of the van and proceeds to get in his own van and quickly backs out of the alleyway. As he maneuvers his way onto the empty street, he spins the tires and speeds off before the alley erupts into a corridor of fire.
Passenger: Good guys.
Driver: They messed up. Get my phone, I need to call Lee.
The passenger takes the phone off the dashboard, dials the number and hits the speakerphone button on the side. Wait did he say Lee...
?: Yes.
Driver: Wing?
Wing: Yes.
Driver: Why does Lee have a phone when he hates talking?
Wing: He doesn’t hate speaking, just Engrish. You got him?
Driver: The dumbass Americans we hired messed up. They got the girl instead.
Wing: Hmph. If you want a job done right, then you got to do it yourserf.
Driver: Yes. And next tim-
Wing: I was tarking about myserf. Fine, bring the girr in. It won’t be hard to get Cheng to do what we want to do. You coming back?
Driver: Yes. See you in ten.
Wing hangs up on the other line and the Passenger closes the phone. The people in the van are quiet as the scene starts to fade out. So the 14K Triad has kidnapped Kirsten Carter. Interesting.
Fade Out.
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