Monday Night Warfare 3rd March 2008

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Monday Night Warfare 3rd March 2008

Schedule of Matches:
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Blaine Stone vs. Wayde Russler

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Alex Richmond vs. Danny Mainer

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Mr. Red vs. Andrew Starr

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Limelight vs. Jonny Hughes

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Thunderkiss vs. Alicia Laureano

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[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Opening Segment: What Would Heath Ledger Do? (Credit: As if it wasn't obvious)

We’ve just lit the candle on another Monday Night Warfare. The fans have settled into their seats and the smoke has cleared. All that’s left to do now is for Maxwell McNally and Eddie Edison to make the pre-show introductions.

Eddie Edison: Hello, good greetings, das hallo, and bonjour to you as we get ready to begin yet another thrilling edition of Monday Night Warfare. As we continue to build toward the March pay-per-view Genocide, all the superstars have hit the ground running and the action has been absolutely unrelenting. It just grabs you by the–

The same mysterious static that struck during the outset of last Thursday’s show hits once more.

Edison: –nd doesn’t let...

Edison pauses as he gets a report of the mysterious technical difficulty. Needless to say, he isn’t too pleased.

Edison: Wait what? It’s happeni–

Static.

Edison: –ain? For the love of G–

Static.

McNally: We’re terribly so–

Static.

McNally: –y about this, folks. We’ll try to have this f–

Static.

McNally: –oon as possible. Please stay tu–

And just like four days ago, the static completely overtakes the ACW signal. It lingers for a moment before a clear picture begins to emerge. The following words, written in the same “splattered blood” font from Meltdown, appear on the screen.

COLLECT THE CLUES

[/size][/b][/center]

The words then suddenly disappear. Replacing them are the following images, flashing by in incredibly quick succession, each one occupying a few frames only.

The screen is overcome with static once more. Lingering for a few seconds yet again, it fades out once more, this time back to the regularly scheduled ACW programming.

Edison: I’m telling you, that’s getting old fast.

Edison might’ve spoken too soon, though, as it would appear the unwelcome intermissions have yet to cease. This time, all the lights in the arena cut to utter and complete black.

McNally: Even I have to admit, now we’re approaching the ridiculous.

The camera then focuses on the Alphatron, and these words are slowly etched across the screen as an eerie tribal chanting rings throughout, getting progressively louder and louder:

UNCOVER THE MYSTERY

[/color][/b]

THE FUTURE IS COMING ON...[/color][/b][/center]

An anxious hush falls over all in attendance as they wait for some kind of resolution to this mystery. There’s no need to wait long, though, as a familiar voice suddenly booms authoritatively from the arena loudspeakers:

HENSHIN

A

GO

GO

BABY!

[/size][/color][/b]

No sooner is this phrase uttered does a furious pop erupt from the crowd.

Edison: No...it can't be!

The drum intro to "What I Want" by Daughtry kicks into gear. A lone spotlight shines on the entryway, revealing the shadowy figure of a man posing dramatically with his arms triumphantly outstretched in true Jericho-esque fashion.

McNally: I don't quite believe it either, Eddie, but everybody else in the arena is seeing the exact same thing!

The arena is practically shaking from the cheers of the audience. When the guitar solo begins to roar, a bright flash of light engulfs the entire screen, then quickly subsides as normal visibility returns to the arena, granting everyone confirmation of their suspicions: “Henshin Hero” Nick Durden has made his way back to ACW.

Edison: OH ... MY ... SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

As if it was possible for this audience reception to get even more epic, the crowd manages to turn it up yet another notch. The noise level is almost enough to create a sonic boom. Nick beams brightly at the ever-so-adoring fans as he marches exultantly down towards the ring. Even the two commentators have to holler over their microphones to be heard.

Edison: I HOPE WE HIRED RELIABLE ARCHITECTS WHEN WE BUILT THIS ARENA, MAX! THE FANS ARE ABOUT TO BLOW THE ROOF OFF THIS THING!

Nick finally enters the ring, then mounts a turnbuckle to give his “hang loose” taunt for the fans, who are still unrelenting in their praise for him.

McNally: IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO MAKE A COMEBACK, NICK DURDEN HAS JUST WRITTEN THE BOOK ON IT!

Nick returns to the center of the ring and requests the microphone from Phillip Jones, who respectfully hands it to him. Nick then signals for the fans to quiet down, and just like that, the din fades into silence. Nick raises the microphone to his lips.

Nick: Well, after that reception I doubt I need much of an introduction.

As quickly as the bedlam subsided, the crowd bursts into a frenzy again. This time, Nick milks it for all it’s worth as he just lets the fans cheer their hearts out. When the chaos reaches a manageable level, he speaks up again.

Nick: But just for fun, I’ll give one anyway!

HEN-SHIN-HER-O!

*clap, clap, clapclapclap*

HEN-SHIN-HER-O!

*clap, clap, clapclapclap*

Nick: Ladies and gentlemen, in attendance of Alpha Championship Wrestling’s broadcast of Monday Night Warfare on March third in this year of our lord two thousand and eight...

HEN-SHIN-HER-O!

*clap, clap, clapclapclap*

HEN-SHIN-HER-O!

*clap, clap, clapclapclap*

Nick: All of you, from those sitting way up in the nosebleeds near where birds fly to those sitting right here at ringside where combatants die, all of you are equally blessed! For you have the pride, nay, the privilege, nay, the PLEASURE of seeing a fighter sired by fighters. I am the Boom, the Sickness, Enigmatic Charisma, the Henshin Hero, the UNABASHED, the UNADULTERATED, the UNPARALLELED...NICK DURDEN!

The crowd has reached a fever pitch now. Driven by pure exhilaration and adrenaline, they continue to shower Nick with adulation.

Nick: And judging by that reception, I can tell that a lot of you missed me during my little vacation from the ring, but I assure you that I left all in good reason. I left to accomplish some pretty daunting deeds.

Edison: I’ll admit, he’s piqued my curiosity.

Nick: I first climbed atop Mount Scopus near the holy land of Jerusalem. I prayed to God to ask His forgiveness for the blood that was spilt from my hands. Next, I saved a fatherless Italian beauty from the would-be ravishing of her Turkish uncle. Finally, in Greece, I spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. But when I finally got done with it all, you know what I really wanted to do more than anything else? I wanted to come back to this same old ring, and KICK SOME MORE ASS for the viewing pleasure of all you wonderful folks!

The audience roar their approval for this past statement.

Nick: And now I’m back. From this moment on, it’s the start of my time, SHOWTIME! And to those poor unsuspecting folk who do not see me coming, I give you one warning and one warning only:

HERE

COMES

THE

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Nick casually flings the microphone to the mat as the fans descend into pandemonium one final time. "What I Want" hits again as Nick taunts gloriously to the crowd once more.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Introducing….Solkiss? WTF?! (Credit: Blaine Stone)

The locker room of Blaine Stone, not as elaborate as the Temple of the Golden Order, but it would have to do. The rather large, plasma-screen television is playing Blaine's promo from Thursday Night Meltdown, and as soon as Blaine says, “'The Shooter' Jon Taylor,” the footage was paused, the camera now focuses on a clearly irritated Blaine Stone as he crosses his legs in the black leather seat that he is in.

Blaine: “The Shooter” Jon Taylor? Coleman, I pay you good money to handle the writing for personal appearances such as this one, yet you make me look like a total fool on network television.

The camera then zooms on a rather scrawny, rat-faced male with the lips of someone that has kissed the ass of many men... His name is Josh Coleman, and his very essence seems to exude asskissery.

Coleman: 'Shooter'.. 'Ultimate Competitor'.. How am I supposed to know the difference?

Blaine: Those two are vastly different! They don't even sound alike..

Coleman: But come on. There's like... a thousand wrestlers called 'The Shooter' out there, sir.. Even you started out wrestling as The Canadian Shoote-

Blaine is quick to interrupt him.

Blaine: Don't you dare say it.. Don't associate me with Canada, for the paragon of perfection is beyond international borders...

Coleman simply blinks and prepares to say something, but he holds back his comments.. seeing how Blaine pays him and all.

Coleman: Right, sir. I'll be sure to remember that. Boss, I was hoping to redeem myself for failing you last week, so I have developed an incredible marketing idea..

Blaine raises a lone eyebrow and then leans forward, linking his fingers together as he stares at Coleman intently.

Blaine: Oh? Well, this has better be good because you're treading on thin ice, Coleman.. One wrong move, and I'll relieve you of your duties.

Coleman: R-right, sir. Now in this age of growing awareness regarding health and fitness, I have devised a way to get the masses to donate to your cause and to expose them to the greatness that is.. you.

Blaine: Well, I am great, but this.. idea of yours sounds rather sketchy. What do you have planned to sell?

Coleman: Your own energy drink!

SAY WHAT?! There is now an awkward silence.. The god of the new world.. promoting an energy drink. Something quite doesn't add up in the brain of Blaine Stone as he looks at Coleman with a lost expression on his face.

Blaine: Energy drink?

Coleman: Yes.

Blaine: Are you serious?

Coleman: As serious as Libertines is gay.

Blaine: Convincing enough. Roll the footage.

The screen then changes to a black screen with all of the the rather loud and accentuated words in bold, white letters as the announcer, who sounds like Michael Buffer on speed, goes on with his adrenaline-fueled rant.

Announcer: HEY, YOU! Wanna get your mind awaken?! Then drink Solkiss! It's like harnessing a thousand suns in a can!!

For whatever reason (or lack of reason, however you look at it), a muscular and oily man in face paint and tassles violently shakes ring ropes as he looks to go into what could only be thought of as roid rage before the scene goes back to the black screen which now has an orange can with the words 'Solkiss' on it.

Announcer: It's loaded with ANTIOXIDANTS!! “What are antioxidants, you ask? I dunno, but they're GOOD FOR YOU!! It's loaded with EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF CAFFEINE!! Caffeine, ginseng, horny goat weed, this will keep you up for HOURS!! You'll be able to talk really fast and scream really loudly, so loudly that you'll ATTRACT ALIENS, but you'll be like -BEEP- that because after drinking Solkiss, you can blow them away with MIND BULLETS! Blow aliens away with MIND BULLETS! Shoot people with them too, but they'll probably hate you. No problem! You can write millions of apology letters in no time because you'll be able to move your arms and hands REALLY FAST!! You'll be so fast that you'll own at every sport using your hand, and you'll be the undefeated gold medal champion of the world in hand sports for life! Power lifting! Power curling! Power arm wrestling! Power Fisting! Power writing... even POWERPOINTING!! PUT YOUR LIPS ON THE SUN WITH SOLKISS!!!

Finally, this ridiculous commercial is given purpose thanks to the following, with the number and address highlighted in bold, golden letters on the bottom of the screen.

Female Telemarketer: To become awakened, call 1 800 17 LIGHT (54448) and send your donations to the Temple of the Golden Order. The address is 1320-143 Carling Avenue, Ottawa, ON-K1Z 8N8. Remember children, give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give your donations to Blaine Stone, and you will feast on ambrosia of the mind for a lifetime.

The scene goes back to the locker room with Blaine looking as though he had just saw the ghost of Jim Jones offering up a cup of grape Flavor-aid to him... in other words, a look of dismay. In stark contrast, Coleman seems rather proud of his work, nodding in approval as a big, goofy smile appears on his face.. until Blaine looked at him and said..

Blaine: You had to be high while on YouTube looking at videos while listening to Tenacious D and drinking Thundergy..

Coleman: ..Maybe, but you haven't told me what you think.

Blaine: What do I think? I think that you're fired.

Fade to Black.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

SEGMENT: Reunited (CREDIT: Danny Mainer)

The scene opens to show an empty locker room with the lights switched off. Nothing is stirring in the locker room at all and you can’t see anything at all until suddenly the door opens and in thunders Danny Mainer in his casual gear. Blue baggy jeans, a black Pantera t-shirt and two cotton wool wristbands dyed black with pentagrams on his wrist. He’s got a huge grin spread across his face and he’s looking pleased with himself somewhat. His hair is black with that little blonde streak, slicked back to perfection. He walks over to a fridge and opens it up pulling out a can of relentless as Mei-Feng follows him and a mini-plastic box.

Danny: Mei-Mei! That was brilliant but next time if you are going to do something bizarre and something incredibly awesome like that INFORM ME? OK? You have no idea how angry that made me, I would’ve punched you right in your ovaries if I’d gotten the opportunity.

Mei-Feng: OK Danny, I promise. It was a great idea though right?

Mei-Feng follows Danny in her typical gear of a black pair of cargo pants and a slipknot hoodie, hood pulled up over her head to cover her black raven hair and a fair proportion of her face. Danny cracks the can open and starts to sip on the addictive green liquid as he walks back towards his girlfriend. She extends her arms throwing her body out looking to get a kiss from her lover in the form of Mainer but Mainer thrusts a packet of tic-tacs into her chest. She clasps onto them and looks down at the mints. Mainer then walks past her as she looks confused at the whole idea.

Danny: Great idea baby, eat two of those a day at around 12 o’clock for a week and then… MAYBE just then I’ll come within a metre’s distance of you.

Mei-Feng: Eh?

Danny: You STINK of beer…

Mei-Feng cups her hands halfly covered by hoody up to her mouth checking her breath. She inhales into the cup of hand and realizes that Mainer is right. She pops open the tic-tacs and throws back taking 2 into her mouth. She crunches them as she closes the little packet of tic-tacs.

Mei-Feng: Geez… sorry fair enough.

Danny: Also, I want you to shower morning, noon and night for that week because I want the taint of Wayde off of your tongue and I want the taint of Wayde washed right off of your body or else I’ll kick your hot ass down a set of stairs.

Mei-Feng: Right, but you wouldn’t kick me down a set of stairs, I’d knock your lights out Danny…

Danny: Pah… I’d slap in a Cross Armbreaker until you screamed for mercy, then I’d throw you out the locker room and watch porno all by myself.

Mei-Feng: Watching dirty movies by yourself? Why can I tell that’s something you’ve had a lot of practice at?

Danny vaults over the couch ignoring his woman and as he lands he grabs the remote off of the arm and flicks on the TV. He quickly channel-surfs through music channels until he reaches desire channel, he leaves Scuzz playing and “Cowboys from Hell” by Pantera plays throughout the TV speakers. Danny sits along nodding his head to the beat of the drums as the vocals of Phil Anselmo take him away. Danny puts 2 feet up onto the coffee table as he watched the Pantera vid. He cranks the volume up as Mei-Feng nods her head along too. Mei-Feng walks over to the refrigerator opening up the icy abyss of cold foods. She then pulls out a bottle of Lemonade, 2 litres, She unscrews the lid and throws back swallowing down the lemon flavoured fizz as Danny continues to listen to Pantera.

Danny sees Mei sipping lemonade straight from the bottle. He then pushes up and does a backwards roll over the couch so he’s standing behind it. Standing up straight he headbangs momentarily before looking over at his girlfriend. He walks over with his arms out-extended looking for a hug from his girlfriend. Mei-Feng gracefully accepts the hug and the two share a heart-warming embrace, Mei-Feng leers over baring her teeth at the neck of Mr. Mainer who notices this backing away from her.

Danny: I said NO kissing for a week… You need to get that beer stench away from us. Now listen, I need to go train for a bit. You go have a shower and scrub yourself nice and good and get the vile taste of Russler out your mouth.

Her face goes red as she looks over at Danny.

Mei-Feng: He was actually quite a good kisser…

Mei-Feng gives Danny a classic shifty eyes look who merely exhales as he puts his hand on his hips.

Danny: Mei-Mei… I’m going to choose to ignore that because I know that next week you’ll be screaming my name so loud that Mother Teresa will turn over in her motherfucking grave at the idea and sound of us going at it like jackrabbits. Now shut your mouth, shower and prepare yourself because tonight I’m going out to the ring to do a massive protest. Ginger is talking out of his ass if he thinks I’m going to face a Enter-brother of mine. No, you’re kidding yourself if you think that’s happening.

Mei-Feng: Got it. Anything need doing?

Danny: Good. Now I’m off. Cya later babe-o.

Mei-Feng: Bye!

Danny walks off towards the door of the locker room with a smirk on his face as he leaves Mei-Feng back in the locker room to shower and get rid of “Wayde-Taint” from her body. Danny goes out to the tech crew guys with thoughts racing through his mind. Who’s going to win and how will the crowd react to his big surprise later tonight? We’ll find out soon, won’t we my dear child?

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: A done deal (Credit: Jin)

Ginger dude may not be the smartest man on earth, but he is chairman of ACW. He knows a few tricks and when to give in. And so do another group, the red lotus clan. With the brains of Shad, speed of Jarod and power of Paul, they have it all. Enough to make even Ginger back down.

Ginger dude is sitting in his well furnished office. Greats like BK, Senator, RDK and Yoko have set foot in here. And so have some really sucky guys like Jon Taylor and Hunter. And in comes more people to add to the former as all three members of the red lotus clan stride in.

Ginger: Hello gentlemen. Take a seat.

Shad: Thanks.

The three of them jump onto the fine chairs and grin.

Jarod: So, when can we take out Jin?

Ginger: Take him out? I got you in for ratings. You need to show me some good stuff before I can give you a shot at Jin.

Shad: Ok, next Monday I will show you my talents, taking on one of your wrestlers.

Ginger: How about beat the clock? If Paul…

Ginger nods at the big man.

Ginger: ..Can win a match faster then Jin, you can pick the time and place.

Shad: We’re fine with that. So we’re on the roster?

Ginger: As much as Jin is.

Paul: We’re better then that piece of shit.

The three of them get out of their seats, shake hands with Ginger then leave.[/center]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 1: Blaine Stone vs. Wayde Russler (Credit: Hunter)

Despite being the opening match of the show, this particular contest was nevertheless seen as an important match for its two competitors, both of whom have been impressing those around them lately. Although Wayde had a slight advantage due to his larger exposure to ACW as a whole, Blaine made the most of his opportunity in the match to show off everything he had. He took an incredibly powerful offensive with assorted kicks and elbows to Wayde, but the latter battled back with his own power moves, delivering assorted elbow strikes of his own and eventually taking Blaine down to the mat with a vertical suplex. Blaine managed to quickly recover from this, and proceeded to hit a shoulder breaker, followed by a snapmare...which is yet again followed by something else, and this something just so happens to be a vicious dropkick to the back of Wayde's head.

The two went through the regular ol' "I hit you, you hit me, we all hit the family tree" (don't ask) combo for the next few minutes, until one of them decided to use a more powerful and more recognizable move of theirs. Said person was Wayde, and said move was his Rolling Elbow, which managed to knock Blaine down for a two count. Blaine, ever the opportunist, proceeded to attack an irritated Wayde (irritated from the lack of a three count, no doubt) with assorted strikes, and then nailed a recognizable move of his as well, this being the ever effective Canadian Clutch. He held the move in for a lengthy period of time...until, of course, Wayde managed to grab the nearby rope to break it. The referee forced Blaine off, but the "Paragon of Perfection" still managed to get in a few cheap kicks afterwards, much to the crowd's dismay.

Wayde recovered and got to his feet, and managed to dodge a few of Blaine's strikes before knocking him down with a high angle front falling inverted DDT, whatever the fuck that means. He considered going for the cover, but then thought better of it and instead attempted to lock in the RockaBye Lullabye while Blaine was slightly disorientated on the ground. Alas, Blaine managed to recover quickly enough to throw his head back into Wayde's face, and then proceeded to nail a Polish Hammer to Wayde's head to knock him back away from him. Blaine quickly recovered and got up to his feet, and then grabbed Wayde's arm for his Paradise Lost finisher. Just as he leapt off the ground for the enziguri portion of the move, Wayde intelligently ducked, and then lifted Blaine up and nailed a sudden (and slightly modified, of course) Binge Trauma! The crowd rose to their feet as the referee counted, and alas, Blaine simply did not have enough strength to kick out, thus giving Wayde the victory.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: “No Respect” Credit: Jonny Hughes / T-Kiss

[When you reach the top of the wrestling business, certain perks come your way. For instance, one can actually have backstage demands written in their contract if they bring in enough gate. The Chairman wants to keep his most prized possessions happy and it takes a few meals or electronic devises in their locker rooms, so be it. One would imagine what some of these perk lists look like, especially the World Champion’s. Surprisingly, Thunderkiss keeps it pretty simple, his favorite snacks, comfortable furniture and a stack of his favorite magazines are his only requests.

Upon entering his locker room tonight, he instantly checks to make sure his magazines have been delivered and much to his delight they have. Somewhere in the stack, there is something he’s been anticipating for quite some time - this month’s edition of Pro Wrestling Insider. Being a long time reader he is fully aware of how newly crowned World Champions usually find their way on the magazines front cover and he can’t wait to see his mug plastered all over it.]

Thunderkiss: Well let’s see what the world has to say about its awesome champion!

[Thunderkiss picks up this month’s issue of PWI and notices something very odd right off the bat: he isn’t on the cover. After such a huge win, the World Champ should be on the cover, right? His eye scans the headlines and there it is, his name in big black print. Obviously it’s no money shot but it will have to do. Or will it? Reading the text under his name, Thunderkiss reveals that not only has he been snubbed, but he has been heavily insulted as well.]

Thunderkiss: Jonny Hughes calls the new Champ a fraud?! What the hell!?

[TK frantically tears through the magazine until he finds the article in question. Thanks to an image of Jonny Hughes shown throwing various TK merchandise into a trash can, he finds it on page 51. The sight alone makes him want to do the same to the magazine, but that will have to wait until he reads this “garbage.”]

CHAMP OR CHUMP? THE SHOOTER SHOOTS!

Hughes: "The funny thing about our ‘esteemed’ world champion is that he’s a fraud. For the last 16 months or so he’s been masquerading in this company as a professional wrestler when the truth of the matter is, the man doesn’t know his Key Lock from his Ankle Lock. Now, I’ve been able to stand his presence in ACW so far, I even understood why he became Entertainment Champion but I am disgusted that he was even considered for the World Championship. Having a man like Thunderkiss as the World Champion of Alpha Championship WRESTLING is a contradiction in terms maybe if he was the LUE (Legends of Uber Entertainment) Champion I wouldn’t be so opposed to him…"

[Thunderkiss skims through the interview to find the next quote from Hughes]

Hughes: "It says a lot about this industry when a jacked up, muscle bound idiot like Thunderkiss is the champion of the world’s premier wrestling organisation. It gives the youth that watch our shows the entirely wrong impression on life, it gives off the impression that looks are the most important attribute one can posses when that just isn’t the case. But I suppose that in this image obsessed world that we live in it was inevitable that the spineless human being that is our Chairman would lend all of his support to whoever makes him the most money through merchandise sales and whatnot. I guess at the end of the day he’s just a corporate puppet, a soulless, talentless puppet… "

[Thunderkiss is absolutely SEETHING as he reads the final sentence. Finished, he gives into his earlier compulsion and tears the magazine in half and tosses it into the trash.]

Thunderkiss: So you want to “shoot” on me Hughes? So be it. But before you pulled your “pistol” on me, you should have I realized I have MUCH bigger guns.

[FADE]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

"An Exclusive from Meltdown" (Credit: Rattlesnake)

Unaired from Meltdown, an ACW exclusive.

The locker room door for Rattlesnake opens. He walks out carrying his equipment bag. He looks around one last time before walking through the corridor.

Rattlesnake: It's the last time I'll be doing this.

As he walks through the corridor, he passes by a lot of the ACW talent. He knows that everyone is displeased with his decision. Each of them waves at him half-heartedly.

Rattlesnake: I know I'm going to be hated for this, but it's something I have to do. I wish it didn't have to come to this.

Rattlesnake reaches the door to the garage area and, after a heavy sigh, opens it. As soon as he walks through the door, he sees more of the ACW talent standing near his car. He spots the few people that he's been involved with over the past 2 years.

He walks over to his car and turns. The first person to walk up to him is Jake. They both shake hands. Jake starts to say something, but Rattlesnake stops him.

Rattlesnake: You don't have to say anything. Noodles n' Snakes will live again. I give it my own personal guarantee.

Jake nods and steps back. Senator steps up and shakes hands with Rattlesnake.

Rattlesnake: I'll be back some day.

With Senator stepping back, Thunderkiss steps forward. Rattlesnake glances at the ACW World Championship.

Rattlesnake: Count yourself lucky. I never got to hold that. So you better hold onto that for a long time.

Despite the events prior to Winter's Discontent all the way to Ragnarok, Rattlesnake and Thunderkiss shake hands.

Rattlesnake glances over at Hunter, who just has the biggest smirk on his face.

Rattlesnake: And what do you want?

Hunter: Just one thing.

Hunter walks up and punches Rattlesnake in the face.

Hunter: How's that for an impact?

Rattlesnake looks at Hunter and laughs.

Rattlesnake: A good one.

The four of them walk away as Rattlesnake opens the door to his car. He looks around one last time before getting into the car and leaves the arena.

Fade Out

OOC: I know this breaks kayfabe, but this is how I wanted it to go.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

[glow=red,2,300]Segment: It's time to say goodbye...[/glow]
Credit: Jon Taylor

Monday night Warfare returns from a commercial break. The fans at ringside appear to be happy as usual, and can seen chanting and cheering away. Their favourite chant of the week appears to be "We want AK", and that's exactly what they'll get i'll tell you right now! Well...later on at least! Don't look at me like that! However, moving on. Our interest at this moment at time isn't the adoring fans but instead the backstage area. Now, I know what you're thinking, what the hell do we want with the backstage area, we want to see some action! But, please, bear with me! I promise you this has some importance. Right, so our focus is on one person particular - for now. And that person is Charlotte King. Yes, I know, I KNOW - who gives a fuck about a bimbo interviewer? Well, her importance to this segment will be revealed soon enough, be patient! Right, back on to the subject at hand. King can be seen standing backstage at a section which I like to call no mans' land. Why, you ask? Because no man gets away from King as soon as she spots you around this part. Oh, no - if you run you're only delaying the painful inevitable! However, standing with her appear to be an ACW employee and Lou the cameraman. Now, before you ask how I know his name, the answer is simple; I spotted him first so I get to name him, har har! As we look closer it appears that King is about to go live on camera. Just when I thought my day couldn't get worse as well!

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen to ACW Warfare. My name is Charlotte King and tonight I will be taking an inside look at ACW what the average fan wouldn't usually see!

Charlotte pauses to clear her throat. She has a grin on her face.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Right. First of a-

King is interrupted mid-sentence by none other than Lou! Yes, that's right - the cameraman who doesn't talk...ever! Well I guess he does now.

Lou | The Cameraman: Erm-

King looks at Lou, she tries to whisper as quietly possibly in order to not disrupt the broadcast.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: What!

Lou seems unsure whether to interrupt King or not.

Lou | The Cameraman: Weren't aren't live anymore.

King looks surprised, but also angry - which is also no surprise!

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Why Not!

Lou looks hesitant to continue

Lou | The Cameraman: Apparently a more exciting incident is about to kick off somewhere else backstage. They decided it was more exciting to capture that live.

King looks infuriated.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Where exactly?

Lou | The Cameraman: Erm...near the locker room area I thin-

King interrupts once again.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Well that's where we're going. Come on.

King begins to march off towards the direction of the locker rooms. Lou seems unsure whether to follow or not. King pauses and turns around.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: NOW!

Lou decides it would be a wise decision to obey King and promptly follows her commands and sets off in the same direction.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it appears that we are about to thrown thick into the action of this so called incident! But, wait...the whole locker room area appears to be covered by a blanket of tranquillity! That's right not a sight or sound in the vicinity. What a letdown. However, just incase lets check the locker room of The Ultimate Competitor. We have some time to burn until the next segment anyway! Right. Taylor can be seen pacing around his locker room, as per usual. However, Taylor looks different this faithful Monday. Gone has the loony eyes and facial expression. He actually looks pretty sane. What a letdown. Derek and I had bets on how long it would take until he was committed! He looks to be in a pretty serious mood, and his associate/manager Bill doesn't look to be a barrel of laughs either. Well this just gets better doesn't it? Just when you want some light hearted entertainment you get this. Damn. Well, i'm not sure what caused it, but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Bill looks to be having a staring contest with the wall, as you do (my bets on the wall winning) while Taylor continues to pacing around. Why, this must be some form of new circuit training! Taylor however decides he's had enough of a work out and stops. This causes Bill to lose the staring contest with the wall (yes I win the bet!) and look over in the direction of Taylor. Obviously he had grown accustom to the sound of footsteps since it has become Taylor's hobby the last few weeks. Taylor looks to be thinking over his next actions, judging by the expression on his face which suggests he is concentrating on something. He heads towards the door but stops just as he places his hand on the handle. He looks over in the direction of Bill.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: I'm going out.

Bill gets up from the chair he was sitting in, he doesn't look pleased.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: Where to?

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: I said im going out.

Bill doesn't bat an eyelid.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: Where to?

Taylor ignores Bill and exits the room, accompanied by an adequate slam of the door into the wall of course. Taylor heads off down the corridor. However, behind him his locker room door opens once more - and a less than happy Bill emerges. Bill heads off in the direction of Taylor as he is just reaching the corner.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: Jon!

Taylor glances around briefly before carrying on. Bill doesn't look to be in any mood for giving up either. Bill quickens his pace in attempt to catch Taylor up. He continues to shout Taylor's name, though now Taylor is just blatantly ignoring him. How rude. As Bill turns the corner Taylor can be seen up ahead - wherever he is going he looks to be trying to get as far away from Bill as possible. However, Bill is a determined person and quickens his pace once more. Taylor looks to be getting a tad irritated by Bill continuously shouting his name methodically and seems wary of the attention it may attract. However, Taylor is a stubborn bastard, and I have no doubt he will continue on! And that he does. However, this blatant ignoring is only helping to piss off Bill even further who has now broken into a jog. As Taylor turns another corner into a short corridor which leads into a main part of the backstage area - where many roster members and backstage staff like to socialize - Bill has almost caught up. Taylor seems unsure whether to stop and deal with the old fool or carry on and risking creating attention to Bill and himself. Of course Taylor chose the latter; he is an attention seeking bastard after al! Bill who's clearly had enough with Taylor's ignoring catches up to his "friend" as Taylor enters the large open area. Oh goody. This is going to be fun. Taylor turns around; he looks like he's had enough.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: What the fuck do you want, Bill? I thought I made it clear enough I didn't want you to follow.

Bill doesn't appear to be fazed by Taylor's bluntless.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: I came for your own safety.

Taylor looks confused.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: My own safety? What the hell are you on about? Im not a child Bill.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: And you're not mentally stable either.

Taylor looks insulted by this comment and something in his expression changes. RUN BY BILL RUN!

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?

Taylor pauses

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: You know Bill, since my loss to Fallen Souls again at Bloody Valentine I have done a lot of thinking. I have been thinking about what I did wrong out there, and where I went wrong in my preparation for it. I have come to conclusion I went wrong when I allowed you to come to ACW and be my "trainer". Yes, I know a lot of people think you saved me from cracking under the pressure of being an ACW International Champion so early in my career, but quite frankly you didn't help me at all - unless you count losing me my championship and my respect around here. Since you came here you have done NOTHING but try to control me. Bill, im not a child - I don't need telling what to do with EVERY aspect in my life. But that's not the worse part, you think you're my father - YOU'RE NOT! You think you know what's best for me and whatever I do is wrong - well the fact is Bill - you don't. Since you came I have gone from being 8-3 to 11-9. Yes that's right, a 3-6 win-loss ratio. You tried to make me think that you were helping me to become a better competitor, but you haven't done shit to help. The only progress I have made in the last month and a half was on my own accord. Before you came I had my preparation and game plan in the ring all set out - and it worked. With you "at my side" you tried to change everything that I had work so far, it wasn't a case of messing up and saying "my bad". But, you cost the important thing to me in this company - the International Title-

Bill looks like he's had enough and stops Taylor.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: Hold on just a minute there, Jon. I cost you your championship? I cost you your respect? That's all bullshit and you know it. I have done never but aid you to become a better competitor, I may have tried to change your methods of preparation but that was only for the better. The reason you lost your championship was because you were too bone headed to listen to what I was saying to you. The only reason I have stuck around so long was because I got here you looked like you were about to go off of the tracks. Well true to the form you did when Fallen Souls took your championship from you. Without me what would you have done? I made sure that you kept yourself in one piece instead of a mental breakdown. Without me Jon, you would of been dropped like a bag of bricks.

Taylor doesn't look like he is done.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: Your patheticness makes me laugh. Let’s face the facts - you're only here because you were trying to use me to realise the success you never had. You saw me ascending my way up the ladder quicker than anyone else in the history of the company and saw that you could leech off of me. Well you can't anymore. Without me you're NOTHING. You were a failure before and you will be a failure after. I tried to do this nicely, I really did, I mean after all you were for me at the beginning. But now I remember why I left. Because you're a no good talentless control freak. Bill, you make every person you "mentor" feel like they are worth fuck all. Well, I have enough balls to stand up to you. I don't give a shit if you helped me in the past - this is the present and there is no place for you in my life, there is no place for you in ACW and there is no place for you in the industry.

Taylor pauses.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: And that's why I have had your contract terminated with immediate effect by Chairman Gingerdude.

Bill looks shocked and speechless.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: ...What?

The sadistic grin seen on Taylor in recent weeks has now reappeared.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: You forgot didn't you? I was the one who got you the job here, I added a clause at the time that stated the contract can be terminated at any given time at my discretion.

Bill's mood has changed, he looks unsure what to say

Bill Wright | The Trainer: After all I have done for you in your life you simply want to get rid of me like this?

Taylor doesn't look like he cares.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: Yes I do.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: You heartless bastard!

Taylor's grin grows bigger

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: I prefer being called The Ultimate Competitor, but I suppose that fits also. Now, get your belongings and get the fuck out of this arena before I tell security that there is an unauthorized personnel backstage.

Bill appears to have conceded defeat, knowing that without a contract he could be arrested for tresspassing, he decides he must leave.

Bill Wright | The Trainer: Jon, you may have gotten rid of me for now....but mark my words this is not the last time you have seen Bill Wright in ACW!

Taylor smiles.

Jon Taylor | The Ultimate Competitor: Yes, yes I know - you'll be much more powerful than ever before and end my career. Well I look forward to that day. Now fuck off.

And right on cue he does. Why, that was unpleasant wasn't it? Bill heads off to retrieve his belongings and leave behind his ACW career whilst Taylor continues down the direction he was going.

Oh...wait...aren't forgetting someone? Yes, we are! King and Lou. How could we forget them! Well, it appears they missed the big confrontation/end of Bill's ACW career as they can be seen just coming out of the other side of a corridor which leads to the locker room area.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: Well, where is it!

Lou looks unsure what to say.

Lou | The Cameraman: How am I supposed to know?

King looks pissed right off.

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: You mean to say they cut off my fantastic segment just so they could show nothing! God damn it!

Smoke looks to be ready to erupt out of King's ears.

Lou | The Cameraman: ....im sorry?

Charlotte King | The Interviewer: You will be at the end the night when you can't hold your arms up from filming so many interviews. Come on, we have work to do!

Lou curses under his breath as King heads off once more; Lou like a good lackey follows without saying a word...well one that she could hear!

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

SEGMENT: The King’s Guard (Credit: Danny Mainer)

The scene is tense in the ACW arena as it pans out in all its golden glory to the furthest depths of the crowd, right up in the nosebleed seats. In the ring is a royalty red carpet across the floor and a golden, elegant throne is plotted just off of centre in the ring with its back towards one side of the audience. Just next to this golden throne is a fine 8-sided wooden table with a trash can lid and a 3 foot long Kendo Stick. The audience is in awe at the scene of this set-up in the ring wondering what’s going on. Suddenly, blaring out of the sound speakers is a bugle ensemble playing a high pitched glorious fanfare style tune with an accompanying drum roll.

The fanfare dies down when suddenly “Go Crazy” by Armand Van Helden hits the speakers as the crowd erupt into cheering and booing for “The King of Vegas” Danny Mainer. He storms out of the curtain with a HUGE grin plastered across his gorgeous face. Danny walks out but not in his usual attire, now he’s wearing black cargo pants and a black silk work shirt with a black blazer over it but this is usual of Danny. What isn’t usual is the crown atop his head, black and white with golden metal peaking at the top with an “Iron Cross” logo and a huge black cape trailing after him with white fur borders.

Edison: Well this is interesting, The King of Vegas is dressed for the part and he’s got a Helluva set waiting for him in that ring!

McNally: You can say that again Eddie. Danny’s got his stage and he’s obviously got a message, so what is it I wonder?

Danny thunders down the ramp at sprint speed with the cape trailing behind him and now you can see an attachment to his waist. A katana holstered in it’s sheath and one only has to wonder what the fuck this madman has planned here tonight. He stops at the outside of the ring and directs his attention walking up the stairs. He hops up them before placing a hand upon the crown which tops his head. He then uses his free hand to vault over the top rope and into the ring. He then walks gracefully and elegantly like a true King should towards the centre of the ring towards his throne still smiling showing off his perfect pearly whites. He’s brought a microphone with him it seems. He then stands centre of the ring before the ACW faithful.

Danny: What’s up mah ninjas?!

The crowd go completely silent, no applause of cheering from the crowd and the whole atmosphere just completely dies right there. Danny looks timidly at the audience before he continues on with his speech.

Danny: WHAT’S UP PEOPLE?!

The crowd cheer loudly for Danny after recovering from his awkward silence. He then carries on with his speech.

Danny: Tonight ladies and gentlemen… I have come to you, the great ACW audience tonight to share a message of sadness with you all. I would like to redirect your attention to the last ACW pay-per-view, Bloody Valentine. At Valentine I was decimated and brutalized by that raging alcoholic madman Mr. Wayde Russler.

The crowd cheer loudly at this and you can still see some scratches on his face from the cowbell incident.

Danny: That man tried to disfigure me and seriously injure me… he shredded my face with jagged metal trying to RUIN my perfect looks and I know EXACTLY why. He… HE is JEALOUS of me. I know for a fact that Wayde has nothing to aim for with THAT ugly face of his but that is NO excuse to try and ruin it for the rest of us. I’m glad that I was able to beat him so he could get his just desserts and I got to beat him down and brutalize him for the ability to win in that Texas Bullrope Match. I decimated, destroyed and annihilated and now he’s out of my life for good and everything is back on track.

The crowd boo loudly at Danny and his statements of being back on track.

Danny: But, I fear that an incident like this may repeat itself. With so many ACW superstars jealous of my youth and my natural talent it would not surprise me if someone else was to try and ruin my face again and so I have taken matters into my own hands. I REFUSE to let down the ACW fans by adding yet another ruined face to their Superstar Roster and I REFUSE to let anyone damage my property. So, I, King Danny have decided to employ some protection. Introducing to you… from the Osaka, Japan. The most feared and dangerous protection agent in all of Asia. Ladies and Gents please welcome…

~ANTHRAX~

[/center]

Wherever I May Roam by Metallica hits the speakers and out of the curtain walks the goliath monster that is ANTHRAX. He has long, black hair, emo style and is in great shape, think the height and body level of John Morrison. His attire is… somewhat strange however. His lower half is regular, black wrestling tights with black boots, flames coursing up the side of the legs engulfing a shield encrossed with two claymore swords but his upper-half is somewhat odd… his upper-half is metal armour but it’s odd armour, his cuirass consists of two cup-cake baking trays with the grooves pointing outwards, one of these trays over his front and one over his back connected by two thin steel chains through holes drilled in the platters.

His shoulder pieces are just basically chunks of scrap metal that are stuck to his arm by a woollen elastic stretch band. His helmet however is quite possibly the most comical element of this scenario. It’s a steel sauce pan plonked on his head with a black plastic handle which is tucked away behind his head. ANTHRAX looks weird to say the last. Mainer applauds as ANTHRAX makes his way to the ring. ANTHRAX who’s about 6’3 and stocky is about the average size for a competitor, if not a little bigger.

ANTHRAX hops up onto the apron climbing in to the ring with a typical William Regal footwipe motion before physically climbing into the ring into the Great Court Room of King Danny Mainer. ANTHRAX walks in front of King Danny before dropping to one knee and Danny stands in front of the throne which is also in front of ANTHRAX, ANTHRAX takes off his sauce pan helmet hooking it to a latch on his belt as he lowers his head. Danny pushes his cape back over his shoulders.

Edison: That guy is one strange lookin’ dude but he looks pretty lethal!

Danny: I can’t let just ANY man protect the King though… so ANTHRAX… I must knight you. Are you ready to lay your life on the line for the conservation of your king?

McNally: He’s got an ego on him somewhat hasn’t he?

ANTHRAX does not say a word but only remains silent, he seems to be the focused type of Knight. Danny then draws the katana from it’s holster holding the blade in his right hand. He then lowers it gently to the right shoulder of ANTHRAX who doesn’t wince at all during this ceremony. Danny then raises the sword moving it to the right shoulder of the ‘THRAX. He then lowers the blade again before holstering the blade in it’s sheath.

Danny: You may now arise… SIR ANTHRAX… of Alpha Championship Wrestling.

Edison: Well you don’t see THIS every day!

ANTHRAX stands up straight with a smile on his face. Danny extends his right arm towards ANTHRAX who gracefully accepts it. ANTHRAX then bows with his hands in prayer as Danny directs his attention towards the table where the 3 foot kendo stick and the trash can lid lie. Danny picks them up as ANTHRAX puts the sauce pan back on his melon. Danny then hands the lid and the stick to ANTHRAX who gracefully accepts them putting the trash can lid on his left arm around his wrist like a shield and the kendo stick in his right hand looking ready for battle.

Danny: Now… ANTHRAX. As my Knight and Captain of the Knights, it is your mission to protect me and the ACW Kingdom at all cost and with that great honour comes great res-…

Suddenly, the lights are cut and all is pitch black within the arena. There’s screams throughout the audience when suddenly “Apocalyptic Rave” by Bill Bailey hits and the lights come back on albeit in strobe form as two complete weirdo’s prance out of the curtain with glowsticks and lights… but above all they’re equipped with Kendo Sticks of their own, regular length ones. They stand at the top of the ring, one of them has slicked up blonde hair with blue tips and one of them has a Mohawk, both dressed in black cargo’s and black open workshirts with the sleeves cut, exposing their chests and arms.

Danny: SHIT! RAVERS! Fucking Hell! ANTHRAX, get these ecstasy taking scoundrels! I shall have none of this sort of thing in my Kingdom!

Before the word ANTHRAX is even mentioned he’s sprinting straight for the ropes, he vaults over landing feet first on the matting outside with his kendo stick and shield prepared. He thunders at blinding pace but his two assailants look pretty lethal. They square up to each other standing in a triangle formation. The Man with the Mohawk lunges forward with an overhead shot but ANTHRAX is skilled with melee weapons as proven here. ANTHRAX raises up his left hand, the shot bouncing off of the trash can leaving him stumbling backwards and wide open ready for a spinning backshot to the head taking down the Mohawk man instantly as the kendo stick smashes into his head ringing out with a sickening snap from the kendo stick.

Edison: My God, this ANTHRAX might look strange but he KNOWS what he’s doing!

The man with the blonde hair and blue tips is already having second thoughts as he watched his partner damn near beheaded. The remaining raver takes his chances and swings sidewards towards the mid-section of ANTHRAX but ANTHRAX jumps clear of that. ANTHRAX seeing the opening charges forward swinging low and raising upwards catching the poor raver in the groin, the silly attacker drops his weapon to the floor and then ANTHRAX swings his one handed kendo stick catching him right in the stomach hunching him over onto his knees and before he can fall onto his face ANTHRAX has already smashed the kendo stick right into the back of his head. Both attackers subdued, Danny is in the ring applauding the ring-work of his newly crowned knight.

McNally: Why, I never. That man just took TWO people out with no effort what-so-ever. Danny might be have a monstrous ego to match the likes of even The Great Predator but he’s a smart… smart man. ANTHRAX just cleaved through them like a knife through warm butter!

Edison: That was brilliant! I LOVE ANTHRAX, he’s just so cool to watch! He’s one exciting dude. Even better then Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris!

McNally: Oh come on Edison, Chuck Norris? He isn’t that good.

Danny: Well… ANTHRAX, that was nothing short of impressive. Congratulations, you’ve full-time got the job.

ANTHRAX then turns around looking back at his King, Danny Mainer before holstering his Kendo Stick into the side-latch on his belt and dropping to one knee looking at the floor. Even Danny looks impressed with the work of his Knight. Danny then climbs out of the ring as Go Crazy by Armand Van Helden plays out leaving the crowd wondering what Danny’s plans are for the night ahead.

[Fade Out]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Not a welcome reunion (Credit: Jin)

Jin is punching a bag in his locker room, bouncing back and forth as he hits. He hits a few high kicks before hearing a slam. He turns around and sees a man he has known for many a year, Jarod Adams.

Jin: Adams, nice to see you can drag your lips away from Shad's arse for long enough to meet me.

Jarod: So funny Jin, you always were. You know, when you pulled that prank with the cops in the club, you know the one, the one where I got shot?

Jin: One of my best. So why are you here?

Jarod: To tell you we’re all getting hired, once we sort out the papers. Ginger pubes loves us!

Jin: YOU WHAT!?

Jarod: Yep, we don't need you. The red locust clan can survive with three.

Jarod spits at Jin's feet before turning and swanking off.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: “Midcard Buddies for Life!” Credit: Nick Durden / T-Kiss

We fade into a shot of Nick Durden strutting confidently and excitedly down the ACW corridors after his massive comeback. His little victory lap is soon cut short, though, by the bellows of ACW’s top force.

?: Look, if it ain’t the “Henshin Hero” himself, Nick Durden!

Nick stops in his tracks and cringes. He and all the ACW fans clearly recognize that voice. It’s one of the most distinguished in all of ACW.

Mr. 500%: Well if isn’t this a blast from the past! My Last I checked, you doing some missionary work or something like that down in Africa.

Nick: Actually it was -

Mr. 500% *interrupting*: Yeah, whatever. So tell me, what the hell are you doing back here?

Nick: Ah...TK...to see you after all this time is...let’s just say, interesting.

Mr. 500%: Interesting? That’s all you have to say to your old pal? Your old “midcard” buddy?! Enough of the formalities brother, seeing you here makes my heart swell with .... joy.

TK lunges for the hand of an unsuspecting Nick, then takes it into a too-firm handshake, flinging it around, almost as if to wring it dry. All throughout, one can’t help but suspect TK’s exuberance is done in mockery.

Nick: Um...

Nick begins prying his hand out of TK’s grasp.

Nick: Yeah...okay...let’s just...

Nick finally manages to pop it free. He shakes it around to get the feeling back.

Mr. 500%: So, brother, let me catch you up to speed. First and foremost, guess who is the MAIN MAN around these parts now?

TK proudly displays his glorious World Championship.

Mr. 500%: And you...well, uh...you...

TK really strains his memory for a reminder of a glorious Nick Durden accomplishment.

Mr. 500%: Well, you got to nail XS3's skank whore right in the ass!

Nick: Um...sure, of course, yeah. Uh, look, I really should get going. I mean, I’ll have to train for my big return to the ring, you know. Been slacking off too long, really.

Mr. 500% *gasping*: Durden .... I’m so glad you asked! Just the fact that you look up to me in this way makes my heart swell with happiness. But to be honest, I was wondering why it took you so long in the first place!

Nick: Huh?

Mr. 500%: Your training .... DUH! Believe me, by the time you get through my thunderous training regiment, you’ll be ready to take on anyone! Well, anyone except me of course.

Nick: Oh, no...you see...that’s not entirely necessary...

Mr. 500%: Don’t be silly Durden, of course it is. It’s the least I can do for my old pal! Hey, remember those times when we would drink ourselves under the table making fun of Adrian Flamingo?

Nick: Well... to be honest, no.

Mr. 500%: That’s because you could never hold your liquor you big softy! Alright, lets prepare a schedule for us to follow. Now remember Durden, no pain, no gain!

Nick: Eeeeeeeh, no, you see, it’s mighty generous of you, but...

Mr. 500%: Dude, lemme prove my point to you. *Ahem* If there is a World Champion in our vicinity, please raise your hand!

Nick is left completely bewildered. TK just taps his foot idly. Suddenly, though, a look of feigned surprise spreads across TK’s face.

Mr. 500%: Oh wait, I’M THE ONLY WORLD CHAMPION HERE!

TK follows this line with a hearty guffaw.

Mr. 500%: As they say, “the proof is in the pudding.” Trust me Durdenmania, by the time I get done with you you’ll be ACW’s number 2 star! Underneath me, of course.

Nick: Of course...

Mr. 500%: Well Durden, I’d love to stay and chat but the CHAMP is a busy man! So I’ll be over in the morning and we’ll begin tomorrow! CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING YOUR ONE-WAY TICKET TO ETERNAL GLORY DURDEN!

Nick: Uh...yyyyyyyeah.

Mr. 500%: See, this is what I’m talking about right now. Instead of seeing a tiger in your eyes, all I see is hesitancy. Well let me put your mind at ease Durdenmania. You don’t like my what I’m doing after one session, you can walk away - no questions asked. Whadya say?

TK extends his uber beefy hand. Just wanting to be away from this maniac, Nick hesitantly shakes it.

Mr. 500%: You. Will. Never. Regret. This. LATER PAL!

TK stomps off gallantly, leaving Nick a bemused soul indeed.

Nick: Man, I have missed a lot...[/quote]

[FADE]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 2: Alex Richmond vs. Danny Mainer (Credit: TK)

..::ACW::.. ALEX RICHMOND VS. DANNY MAINER ..::WARFARE::..

Time limit: 20 Minutes
Referee: Keiji Makabe

-* Tale of the Tape, brought to you by the The Rick Astley Megamix! Rick is never gonna: give you up, let you down, desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie AND hurt you! – Available now! *-

Alex Richmond
Age: 25
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 263 lbs.
Hometown: Hartford, Connecticut

Danny Mainer
Age: 26
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 183 lbs.
Hometown: Las Vegas

“Money Talks” by AC/DC hits the speakers as the lights dim, leaving the arena bathed in a golden light. Alex Richmond strides through the curtain, arms held out and face turned towards the heavens, a smirk growing on his face as the crowds boos become ever more audible. Pyros explode behind him, the lights return to their full beam and Richmond fixes his gaze on the ring before slowly striding down the ramp whilst putting the badmouth on the nearest cameraman and the most vocal fans.

Richmond slowly walks up the steel steps and wipes his feet on the apron before stepping between the top and middle ropes. He stands midring and snaps his head backwards, forcing the hair out of his eyes before once more smirking and looking upwards, eyes closed, as pyros shoot out of all four turnbuckles. Richmond then orders the ref to remove his robe as he rolls his shoulders to warm himself up.

“Go Crazy” by Armand Van Helden featuring Majida” hits the sound system and out comes Danny Mainer! Standing atop the ramp way, he extends his hands out in a cocky manner and then proceeds to the ring. Sliding underneath the ropes he quickly stands tall and awaits what will undoubtedly be another epic match performance by the King of Vegas.

~!~DING,DING,DING~!~

MATCH START: Before beginning, both men show each other a show of brotherly respect with a handshake, a move that draws the applause of all the Entourage fans in attendance tonight! Afterwards they lock up and its Richmond with grapple into a headlock! Mainer drops a few elbows into Richmonds side by Alex takes knee to drive Mainer out of escape position. There, Mainer pulls back and backs out of the move and counters with a flip kick that nails Alex right in the head! Stunned, Mainer leaps up and puts himself in a fighters stance. As soon as Richmond is vertical, Danny strikes with the REALITY BITES! Richmond gets rocked with the series of kicks and Mainer combos with a MANBEARPLEX! Richmond almost lands on his head from the suplex but manages to flip over just in the nick of time to take the brunt of the move on his back! Mainer quickly rises and shoots to the ropes! He hits them hard and comes back running full speed. He dives down and drives both feet into Richmond’s back for a baseball slide! After a couple of pick ups and snap suplexes, Mainer continues his dominance into the match’s mid point.

MATCH MIDPOINT: During the mid point of the match Mainer slaps on a chinlock. Richmond digs deep and relies on his strength to pull himself up along with Mainer! Driving his head into Danny’s, Alex escapes. Hitting the ropes for leverage, Richmond comes back strong with a RUNNING LARIAT! Mainer gets knocked into next week and Alex puts the exclamation mark on with a series of double stomps! With a handful of hair Mainer is picked up and thrown into the corner! He hits so hard he pops right out of it and falls right into a LEG LIFT SPINEBUSTER! Mainer tries to roll out of the ring to recover but Richmond cuts him off with a diving elbow drop! Combing, Richmond picks Mainer up and gives him a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Maintaining the bridge on the way down, Richmond wrenches back hoping for a three count by only gets two. Richmond rolls off of Danny and clutches both sides of his head with his hands in frustration. Reaching deep into his moveset, Richmond grabs Mainer’s leg and pulls him up for a the half Boston crab known as BREAKING THE BANK! However, Mainer is way too close to the ropes and manages to get the break before Richmond can do any damage.

MATCH ENDING: Near the end of this match it’s a back and forth struggle that could go anyone’s way! Chopping Richmond back into a corner, Mainer runs at him with a jumping back kick but Richmond counters with a sidestep and another lariat! Mainer goes down and Richmond with a quick pick up into a RUNNING POWER SLAM! Mainer gets driven into the canvas and Richmond rakes his elbow across his face for extra punishment! Richmond then rises up and comes back down with a knee drop but Mainer rolls and Richmond hits nothing but canvas! Clutching his knee in pain, Alex is left open for a side knee! Richmond falls back and Mainer hits the ropes and comes back with a LAS VEGAS BLACKOUT! The kick goes right over Richmonds head and misses him by inches! Mainer can’t believe he missed it and for that matter, Richmond can’t as well! Both men grapple in the center of the ring once again and fall back into the nearest corner! There Richmond pulls back and begins to drive a series of chops into Danny’s chest. This is followed up by a huge right hand that stuns Mainer! Danny shuffles his way out of the corner straight into a roll up! Richmond has him down for 2.9 and both men quickly rise to their feet! Mainer attempts another LAS VEGAS BLACKOUT on the way up and this time he connects! He leaps on top of Richmond and the count is on!

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

WARFARE WINNER: DANNY MAINER!

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Reds? Pfft.

Credit: A.Starr

Scenes opens on Andrew Starr, standing alone in the Entourage lockerroom preparing for his match. He stretches and moves about, getting loose. He casually begins speaking, knowing a camera is there, and continues his warmup.

[/i]

Starr: I'm now the Entertainment Champion. Not the original plan I had in mind going into Bloody Valentine, but a champion is a champion, a title is a title, and I am willing to deal with that. Tonight is my first match since Bloody Valentine, and I am in the best shape I've been in all year. Mr Red, Ive known you in ACW for a long time, and I respect you as a wrestler. I am looking forward to our match. But, there is one thing you should know about me. You love your prescious Cincinatti Reds team, and that cool and all... But my team is vastly superior.

Starr reaches into his locker, continuing to speak.

[/i]

Starr: You see, I have told management to bill me from Hollywood, California. However, I'm not sure that many of the new ACW fans know this, but I know the originals do. I am actually from a small town in Washington called Kelso. And, if you are from Washington, then you have just one baseball team...

He emerges from his locker, baseball cap on his head, and gives a wry smile to the camera. The hat appears on the screen, and Seattle Mariners' logo is emblazoned on the front. Starr resumes his stretches whilst continuing talking.

[/i]

Starr: Everyone sees me as the metalhead of Entourage, which of course I am, but aside from that, I have a deep passion for the MLB as well Mr. Red. The Seattle Mariners have been my team since I can remember, through the good and the bad. Last year, my team took the 3-game series win during interleague play against the Reds, and it was sweet victory indeed. And tonight, I will repeat that performance against you. Decisive and skillfully.

Starr stops his stretching and looks directly into the camera, his eyes burning with malice.

[/i]

Starr: I hope you enjoy your final night with working legs, because Mr. Red, by the end of the match, you will have taken your final steps.

He returns to his stretching for a final few seconds before shaking himself out and exiting the lockerroom for his match, Entertainment Belt in hand. Camera fades slowly on the now closed locker to black.

Fade out.

End Segment[/i]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: "Baby Shopping" Credit: T-Kiss / Lucrezia

[The Tonight Show. Jimmy Kimmel Live. Saturday Night Live. You name the show, in the last week he’s been on it. Though TK and the spotlight are a natural combination, his world has been going non stop ever since he walked out of BV as World Champion. Early Sunday morning he finally flies back to San Fernando with the love his life by his side. However, before he can leap onto his giant sized bed in Thunder Mountain, he must make one slight detour, that being Petit Tresor in Los Angeles.]

TK: So please tell me why we had to fly all the way here again?

Anna Sommers: Because this is the most fashionable baby store on the West Coast that serves only the most upscale clientele. To be honest, you should be thankful enough that they even let someone like yourself in the store. You don’t want your baby wearing clothes from Babies ‘R Us do you?

TK: I don’t see why it matters. All its going to do is poop all over them.

Anna: I simply cannot go anywhere in public with you.

[Anna sighs loudly and leaves TK’s side to venture off into the land of materialistic treasures. Alone, TK walks around uncomfortably. Saying he is out of his element is an understatement, as evident when he picks up a few items off a nearby display and checks out their prices.]

TK: G’Damn!

[Quickly putting the items back on the display, the man side of TK kicks in. There is no way he is going to pay for any of these overpriced things and he is going to put his foot down right here and now. Angrily approaching Anna, he is fully prepared to drag her out of the store by her arm if need be.]

Anna: Ah, and the baby must have this cashmere teddy bear. Its simply to die for, don’t you think?

TK: I’m sure it will be death to my credit card if that’s what you mean. Now look, I’m sorry but -

Anna *interrupting*: Don’t be silly. All you have to do is go make another one of your silly drink commercials and you’ll be fine. Also, which do you prefer?

[Anna holds up two bright blue baby onesies in front of him. His first instinct to say he prefers the cheapest ....and then it hits him. Blue. Blue = boy.]

TK: A boy?! I am going to have a boy?!

[Anna nods.]

TK *shouting*: YES! YES! YES! YES!

[All heads in the store turn in the direction of TK. Normally Anna would be turning 10 shades of red in embarrassment right now, but instead a devious grin occupies her face. Most fathers desire a son and when they find out that’s what they are getting, they become extremely overjoyed. Anna was counting on that, or rather shall we say "banking" on that.]

Anna: So which one?

TK: Both! Buy them both. My son must have only the best!

Anna *giggling*: Okay!

[The staff comes over to the couple to congratulate them and also to make a few suggestions, suggestions Miss Sommers certainly won’t mind listening to. One hour and a few hundred thousand dollars later, the two leave holding hands, happily comforted by the fact that their child will never go without new set of clothes for every day of its first couple of years.]

[FADE]