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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:30:06 GMT -5
McNally: What in the world is he doing?! Edison: He’s a mad man! He’s just cost himself the match!
Starkweather gives that evil grin, as he spots a table nearby. He picks the table up, setting it up and resting Dan’s head onto it. But the table isn’t sideways, but longways, with Dan’s head pointing into the exit. Starkweather then looks at the exit, and notices a small platform on top of it. He jumps a barrier, and climbs to the top of the emergency exit. He’s 10 feet in the air, and the fans begin to go mental.
McNally: Starkweather’s on top of that platform now! Is he going to jump? Edison: What’s Starkweather doing now? What’s he- McNally: Oh my god! Dan’s head has just been ripped off of his body! My god we need some medics out here! Edison: …………DAAAANNNGGEEEEEEEERRROOOOUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!!
[Replay] Starkweather looks down at Dan, with that evil grimace on his face. He turns away from Dan, moving a couple of steps backwards. He then turns quickly, accelerating quickly and leaping high into the air, making his fall a full ten feet high. He then lands, double-stomping Dan in the head, sending an impact the size of Hiroshima as Dan’s head smashes through the table. The North side of the table collapses, and Dan slumps off of the table, with Starkweather laid out on the floor; the move taking a huge toll on the man. [/Replay]
Starkweather slowly pulls himself over to make the cover:
1……
2……
…….3!!!
Philip: Here is your winner…Alexander Starkweather!
McNally: In the two years of commentating in this fed, I have seen some great things. I’ve seen curb stomps onto cinder blocks, I’ve seen people fall off titantrons, I’ve seen a Yakuza kick coast-to-coast, hell I’ve even seen people fly off of this arena’s roof! But that surely, is one of the most dangerous, most spectacular spots I’ve seen. Edison: I told you Starkweather would walk away with the victory! I told you that he’d win the match; but the way he won it…wow…
There is a large pop for Starkweather as the referee throws his arms in the air. He might usually be disliked by the fans, but that move simply took them away, but he’s quick to gain his heat back as he taunts some of the fans around him. He walks off and away as he entrance music plays, as a medical team come over to aid Dan. He’s still completely out cold, after taking two severe blows to the head in this match. And one thing is for certain, he want be performing any post-match interviews tonight….
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:31:19 GMT -5
Segment: Preparations...With A Queen Soundtrack! (Credit: Hunter)
The scene fades in to instantly throw the viewers a shocking image of a fully unclothed woman holding a bottle of Jack Daniels and smoking a Cuban cigar. Well not really. But I got your attention. It actually fades in on the magnificently buff form of Papylov the Explorer, who stands tall and proud on top of a coffee table in the center of the Senatorial Office. Hunter has his left arm horizontally held at his stomach, with his right elbow casually resting on said arm. He tickles his beard with his right index and middle fingers whilst looking over Papylov very carefully.
Hunter: ...no. The form is all wrong. Here, raise your right arm higher.
Papylov slowly raises his left arm up.
Hunter: Other one.
Papylov now raises his right arm so as both are up.
Hunter: ...take the left down!
Papylov takes his right arm down.
Hunter: Oh for fuck's---
Hunter takes Papylov's left arm and slowly lowers it down, leaving his right arm high.
Hunter: That's better. Okay, you can relax.
Papylov collapses on the coffee table and instantly begins licking the dark liquid inside his coffee cup.
Hunter: That's good. Drink some more, you need to be REALLY active for this match.
Papylov doesn't bother replying, and instead continues to lick the coffee out of the cup.
Hunter: So on a scale of one to ten, one being "pussied out" and ten being "ready to kick some ass," how prepared are you to own Parker?
Papylov waves away at Hunter, but Hunter mistakes this for Papylov doing a figure "8" in the air.
Hunter: Eight's good. But a ten would be better. Then you'd make that crazy cat BLEED FOR DEAR LIFE AND BEG FOR INFINITE MERCY---
The door slams shut behind him, and Hunter quickly spins around to see Rattlesnake standing before him with his eyebrow raised.
Hunter: ...erm...psychological preparation.
RS: Ah.
Hunter: Ready for your match tonight?
RS: ...yes.
Hunter: Still want to do the thing?
RS: If it comes down to that.
Hunter: Cool.
RS grabs a bag of what one can only assume is something wrestling attire related and leaves the room just as quickly as he came.
Hunter: ...I am so getting a lock on that fucking door.
He turns his attention back towards his beloved pet, who by now has completely finished off the remnants of the coffee cup.
Hunter: Okay, so we've got psychological preparations taken care of for the most part. You look physically fit too, but you probably need some more muscle on you. Do a few laps.
Papylov mumbles something under his breath and hops off the table.
Hunter: Don't you back-talk me!
Papylov slowly starts walking around the room, and then gradually builds this up into a very slow jog. Hunter simply sits back on the couch and opens up the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly.
Hunter: ...an article about the "realness" of Laguna Beach? Pfftcha. That shit's faker than Lita's chest.
Papylov soon stops and begins to pant by Hunter's leg.
Hunter: Are you good? Good. Okay, it's almost match time, so now we've got to go through the last step: synchronized exercise to the beat of egotistical music!
Hunter runs over to the stereo, and the following is heard:
Here we are, born to be kings, We're the princes of the universe! Here we belong, fighting to survive, In a world with the darkest powers!
Papylov looks up at Hunter with a slightly raised eyebrow, whilst Hunter puts on a headband and raises his sleeves.
Hunter: What? The song is about ruling the universe or something like that. That's egotistical, I'd say.
Papylov slowly shakes his head, and the two begin to bob to the song as the godly voice of Freddie Mercury continues.
Oh! I am immortal! I have inside me blood of kings!
Hunter: Yeah! Yeah!
I have no rival! No man can be my equal! Take me to the future of new earth!
And after this, the two start to slowly sway to the music, in a somewhat rhythmic spirit dancing manner.
Born to be kings, princes of the universe! Fighting and free, got your world in my hand! I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand! We were born to be princes of the universe! No man could understand, My power is in my own hand!
And following this, Hunter turns off the stereo and looks over at Papylov, who pants slightly but looks miraculously energetic.
Hunter: Okay. Ten?
Papylov nods.
Hunter: Most excellent. Let's go grill us some pussycat.
And with that, Hunter throws off his headband and escorts Papylov out the door. The match is slowly approaching, and it looks very likely that Hunter is ready. But is Papylov ready? Or perhaps the better question is, does Papylov even realize what's going on? After all, not many koalas have been trained in the art of killing and the like (though Hunter would argue severely against that). But at this point, all one can do is wait...
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:32:35 GMT -5
Match 4: ACW Entertainment Title Match The Only Reds Fan vs. Jonny Spade (Credit: Santiago) McNally: What a night we’ve had so far! Isn’t that right Eddie?
Edison: Oh, you are right sir, and things are only going to heat up here tonight! We have a fantastic night ahead of us!
McNally: We have Flower Power taking on the winners of the Lethal Lottery Tag Team Tournament, The Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Edison: Woo, what a match that’s going to be, and in my opinion, I sense lots of tension between Hunter and Flower Power. Hunter’s wanted to take them down for a while now, yet has never succeeded!
Edison: Yes, can he do it tonight though? We’ll have to wait and see. But then later, we have Santiago Rivera vs Rattlesnake in a 40 minute Iron Man Match for the International Title! The question is, can Santiago regain the title?
Edison: I don’t know the answer to that, but I can tell you this, this match is going to be….a……CLASSIC! Then we have many other great match ups tonight like Chance Emmerson going up against Wyvern!
McNally: Oh my, now THAT is going to be a match! And most importantly, our main event of the evening! BK London will challenge Latino for the ACW World Heavyweight Title in a ladder match!
Edison: These two have been through SO MUCH together! Being in a tag team along with being best friends. But through this month, the friendship has grown apart as BK is on a quest to regain the World Heavyweight Title!
They are interrupted as Philip Jones in a nice three piece suit steps into the ring with Referee Joey Reynolds. The attention is thrown towards him.
Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ACW Entertainment Championship!
The crowd cheers as a “We Want Red” chant starts up already. [/center] Philip: First, about to make his way to the ring, he weighs in at 245 pounds, standing at 6’ 4” tall. He is from Toronto, Ontario, Canada! The crowd already begins booing as they know who’s name Philip is going to say. [/center] Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger, he is, Jonny SPADE! “Animal I have Become” by 3 Days Grace hits the sound system but is barely heard over all the boos and chants being screamed out as the lights dim down to nothing. Jonny Spade and Melissa pull the curtain back and make their way out, only being seen by the spotlights that flash all over, only catching Melissa and Jonny every now and then before two spotlights move together and form into one, enclosing the two into a big circle of light. A “Jonny Sucks” chant can be heard throughout the arena, Jonny begins yelling stuff back to the crowd but camera’s can’t pick it up. Jonny reaches the ring and hops up onto the apron. Melissa climbs up the steel steps as Jonny pulls back on the ropes before springboarding over the top and into the ring. He spins around a bit, looking around and adjusts his taped up hands and makes sure his elbow pads are on right. Melissa steps into the ring and walks over to Jonny as he begins stretching a bit. Jonny puts his arms to his side before shooting them back up into the air, and golden pyro explodes from the four ring posts. The gold shoots up high as smoke emerges below from the posts. The sparks die mid-air as does Jonny’s music, and the lights slowly turn back on. He starts stretching a bit making sure his arms aren’t stiff as Melissa says some stuff to him. The music fully fades as Philip pulls the microphone up to his lips. [/color] Philip: And his opponent. From Columbus, Ohio, weighing in at 200 pounds and standing at 6 feet tall. He is the current ACW Entertainment Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, MMMMMMMMMMISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH REEEEEEED! The arena bursts into cheer to the point where you have to scream to talk to the person next to you. Jonny stops stretching immediately as the cheers start as he looks around irate. Melissa tries to settle him down but things only get worse as “Reds Fan” by Freekbass hits the sound system. The noise level is deafening as Red walks out onto the stage from behind the curtain wearing the Entertainment title around his waist. Red throws his right arm up into the air as he looks around the whole arena. He nods his head in satisfaction. He continues to look all over before he turns his head directly at his opponent. A stare down commences between the two as Melissa tries to direct his attention towards her. Red takes his arm down and starts walking down to the ring. He walks down the aisle, slapping some hands on the way down but continues to stare at Jonny. Red then runs and slides into the ring and runs towards Jonny who drops to the ring and rolls out, as Melissa screams and dives through the second rope and onto the mat below. Red looks at Jonny who begins screaming some trash talk at the champion. Red continues staring for about 5 seconds before walking away and unhooking the title from his waist. He lifts the title high into the air and poses for the crowd as thousands of flashes appear from cameras in the crowd. Red turns his head and Jonny is still outside the ring, stalking around. Philip Jones has now left the ring as Red walks over and hands the belt to the referee. Red’s music fades down and the “Let’s go Red” chants become much louder and noticeable. Melissa tells Jonny to go but he stands still outside, watching Red the whole time. [/color] McNally: Here we go, looks like we’re about to get underway! The referee holds the title up high in the air. He rotates around for the whole arena to see. Jonny now slides in from behind and clubs Red in the back, catching him offguard and sending him to the mat. The ref then walks over and hands the belt to Philip before shaking his hand and signally for the bell. [/center] Ding Ding Ding! Jonny pounds on the Red’s back. He pulls Red to his feet before deliver a large forearm to the face and Red stumbles. Jonny connects with another before pushing Red back to the ropes and whipping him all the way across the ring to the opposite ropes. Red rebounds off the ropes and uses his baseball skills to slide inbetween the legs of Jonny. The crowd cheers for Red’s reversal. [/i] Red hops to his feet and delivers a standing dropkick to the back of Jonny Spade. Jonny stumbles forward, but catches himself with the help of the top rope. Jonny turns around to find Red running right at him. Jonny ducks and tosses Red into the air with a back body drop over the top rope, however Red grabs the top rope and spins, landing on the apron safely. Jonny doesn’t realize as he starts taunting the crowd. Jonny yells things into the crowd as Red smiles on the apron and times his move. Melissa: Jonny, turn around! Turn around! Melissa starts pointing behind him. Red jumps up onto the top rope as Jonny turns around confused and sees Red springboard off the top rope. Before he can counter, Red already lands on Jonny and swings down, flipping Jonny with a hurricarana. Crowd: “Let’s go Red! Let’s go Red!” [/i] Edison: Wow, what an impressive springboard hurricarana by the champ, Red. Red gets to his feet first and then Jonny does as well shortly after. Red runs and dropkicks the knee of Spade, which sends him down to one knee. Red lays a kick right into the side of the head of Jonny and the noise is sickening. Jonny shakes back and forth but doesn’t look like he’s going to fall. Red notices this and turns and sprints towards the ropes. He jumps up onto the second rope while grabbing the top and springboards off with a high angle moonsault. Jonny then springs to his feet and catches him before spinning and sending to the mat hard with a powerslam.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:34:13 GMT -5
Melissa screams and cheers for Jonny as the rest of the crowd boo. [/i] Edison: He was playing possum! McNally: But you got to take into effect that Jonny used a very good strategic move right there, to counter that moonsault. – A Replay of the moonsault into powerslam counter is shown again. – Edison: Yeah, in that situation, there’s nothing the deliverer can do. You can’t see too well while in air with a moonsault so when you get caught then slammed back down, you are one, shocked, and two, in pain! Jonny walks around the ring stalking Red who’s starting to get up while holding his back. Red reaches a vertical base and turns around right into Jonny who lifts him up and spins around before planting him hard with an Arn Anderson like spine buster. Red moans in agony as he rolls over in the ring onto his stomach while holding his back. Jonny walks around the ring and laughs. He then walks over and climbs a turnbuckle and proceeds to flip off the entire crowd. Crowd: BOOOOOO! Jonny puts his arms down and laughs a Melissa walks over and tells Jonny to focus on Red. Jonny listens and hops off the second rope and walks towards Red who’s already getting up. Jonny walks over and grabs Red by the head. He sends a big right hand to his head which sends him back. He delivers again, and again, and again. Jonny then does a windmill with his arm and goes to deliver the fifth one but Red pulls his arm up and counter. He then delivers a left hook. Jonny stumbles back and Red hits a big right. A big left, another right! Jonny’s stumbling across the whole ring. Red hits three jabs with the right hand before spinning around and running straight forward and clotheslining Jonny over the top rope. The crowd is ecstatic, cheering for Red’s recovery of the moves taken before. [/i] Red rests on the top rope catching his breath as Melissa runs over to Jonny who lays on the mats below holding his neck. The referee tells Melissa to back away but she just ignores it. Red breathes heavily as Melissa helps Jonny to his feet. Jonny tries to get in the ring but Red follows him everywhere he goes. The referee then tells him to back up so Jonny can get in. Red does so as he steps back six steps. Jonny grabs the second rope and pulls his knee up to the apron as Red sprints forward and hits a diving dropkick which sends Jonny flying back off the apron. Jonny tries to catch his fall by turning over but falls face first into the security barricade. McNally: Ooh, that dropkick just sent Jonny right into that protective wall, and for all of you watching at home, that is not cushioned so it’s not something too comfortable to feel. Jonny rolls around on the ground holding his head for a little bit. Red then slides out of the ring and the referee tells him to bring it back in the ring. Jonny begins to get up and notices Red coming. Ref: 1………………………2………. [/i] Jonny spins around and hits a big forearm, sending Red down to the mats, catching him offguard. Jonny rubs his head as he assists Red in standing. Ref: …3…………….4…………. [/i] [color=lightblue Jonny knees him in the stomach and grabs his arm. Jonny spins around and pulls Red with him, setting him up as he forcefully irish whips him shoulder first into the steel steps. The impact from the shoulder makes the top half of the steps come off as Red lays on the bottom set holding his right shoulder in pain. [/color] Ref:……5…………………..6……… ………….7 [/i] The crowd still sticks behind Red as a “Eh-hole!” chant starts up. Jonny walks over and slowly pulls Red up who looks half out of it. Jonny lifts him up onto his shoulder and uses his free hand to point to the steel post. He runs but Red slips off the shoulders and pushes Jonny face first into the pole before quickly sliding into the ring. Ref: ……..8………………………………………..9 Jonny rolls around on the outside and it looks like there’s no hope for him as the crowd cheers Red. Suddenly, Melissa jumps up onto the apron on the opposite side of the ring and yells for the ref. Referee Joey Reynolds turns around and falls for it. He tells Melissa to get off but she starts saying that Red should be DQed for throwing Jonny into the post. The crowd starts booing the antics of Melissa. [/i] Jonny continues to hold his face in agony and Red decides to let him be. He walks over and pushes to referee out of the way and grabs Melissa by the hair. She begins to scream and attempt to push Red away. The crowd cheers immediately when Red grabs her.
Red looks around in the crowd and shakes his head. [/i] It looks as if Red is going to kiss her as the camera catches Jonny Spade sliding into the from behind. Jonny runs towards Red, but the champ is smart and side steps and pushes Jonny as he goes by, straight into Melissa, knocking her off the apron. Jonny stares at what he’s done like a deer in headlights but Red interrupts that by dropping to the ground and rolling Jonny up. The ref slides down to slap his hand down on the mat. Ref (and crowd in unison): 1……………..2……… Jonny powers out just in the knick of time. Crowd: Awww
Ref: TWO! The referee shows two fingers so the whole arena knows. Red gets up as well as Jonny. Jonny glances over at Melissa, concerned but that’s a mistake as it gives Red just enough time to toe kick Jonny. Jonny slumps over. Red grabs Jonny in a pump handle position. He then pulls him up and slams down a back breaker. Jonny holds his back in pain as Melissa can be seen slowly pulling herself up. Red steps in between the ropes and faces Jonny in there ring. Jonny gets onto one knee but collapses back down onto two knees, slouched over holding his back. Red goes to jump up for a springboard but wait, he’s stuck. The camera’s move over to see Melissa holding onto each foot with all of her strength. The referee doesn’t realize while checking on Jonny. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:34:58 GMT -5
McNally: Oh look at this! Melissa is preventing Red from making any attack on Jonny! This buys Jonny some time to get up. Jonny finally reaches a vertical base, holding his back. He turns around and finally Melissa let’s go and Red jumps up onto the top rope. He springboards off with a cannonball senton and Jonny sets himself. Red makes contact but Jonny catches him and holds on fore dear life. Jonny sets his arms and hands before bending his legs and pulling Red up in a powerbomb position. Melissa cheers from the outside, showing her plan has worked. Melissa: Wooo! Jonny, Jonny!
Jonny looks over and she shows two fingers and yells out “S.” Jonny smiles and nods. Jonny interlocks his hands then lifts Red higher and slams him down with a powerbomb. About 2 seconds pass before Jonny slowly begins pulling Red up again. He finally gets him up and he slams him back down. Once again, he doesn’t release and he slowly pulls Red back up to the powerbomb position. From there he adjusts Red onto his shoulders before flipping and hitting a Samoan Driver. Melissa claps at ringside as Jonny covers Red and hooks his left leg as the ref slides down to make the count. Crowd: Kick out, Red! Kick out, Red!
Ref: 1…………….2……………. Red throws his right arm high into the air. The crowd ERUPTS and the noise level is deafening once again. Melissa is then shown running her left hand through her hair while using the right to signify that it was a three count. Ref: Two! Jonny argues with the ref saying it was a three count it was just slow. Edison: Oh my - - How did Red kick out of that?!? Jonny perfectly executed two powerbombs then a Samoan Driver! The champ doesn’t want to lose his title here tonight! Jonny continues to argue but it’s doing no good, as referee Joey Reynolds says it was a 2. Jonny shakes his head and turns around. Red is still lying on the mat. Jonny walks over and grabs Red’s leg. He can’t do anything else before Red twists his body up and uses his free leg to turn it into a drop toe hold and send Jonny to the mat. Red then rolls over and pulls Jonny’s leg up into a half Boston crap and the crowd starts cheering. Jonny yells in pain and reaches for the ropes. He’s just about an inch off from the rope but Red tries to pull him farther up. Jonny has the strength advantage and forcefully pulls himself and Red right to the ropes. The referee goes to Red and counts for him to break the hold. Ref: 1………2……..
Melissa runs up to Jonny and pulls something out and places it on his hand that’s on the rope. Once she runs off it’s clearly shown to be brass knuckles as the crowd begins to boo the roof off of the arena.
Ref: 3………4
Red breaks the hold just before the 5 count and walks over to Jonny. McNally: No! Ref, check Jonny! He’s got knucks on! Red grabs him around the next and leans forward as Jonny swings the hand up and punches Red square with the brass knuckles, however, square in the shoulder but Red thinks quickly and goes along with it. Red slowly moves back before stumbling a bit and crashing to the mat. Jonny slips the knucks off and tosses them to Melissa. Jonny slowly gets up. He smiles and walks towards Red but suddenly Red rolls his legs back and extends them, a double kick to Jonny’s gut. The crowd cheers, thinking the brass knuckles got him in the face. Red rolls backwards and onto his feet as Jonny stands hunched over with his hands on his knees. Red sprints against the ropes and runs right at Jonny. He grabs hold of Jonny’s head and jumps and spins 360 degrees before planting him down with a viscous DDT. Melissa looks concerned on the outside gritting her teeth. Red gets up and it looks like he’s getting pumped up. Jonny slowly gets up and Red hits him with a leaping lariat, sending Jonny back on the mat, landing on his upper back / neck. The crowd gets behind Red, pushing him. Jonny slowly gets up again holding his neck as Red runs forward but is stopped right a thigh to the stomach. Jonny grabs Red’s hand and whips him, but stops and whips Red back at him and goes for a clothesline, but Red ducks under it and swing behind Jonny and begins to lift him up before releasing with a huge German suplex. Edison: Is it just me, or has Red suddenly gotten a boost he’s needed badly? The crowd starts up a “Make Him Tap!” chant, and Red looks around the arena and smiles. Red grabs Jonny’s legs and goes to turn into the Redleg, but Jonny pulls him down and hits a few punches to the head before kicking him away. Jonny gets up and Red runs forward and drops into a baseball slide to Jonny’s shin. His leg gives in and he fall face first onto the mat. Red quickly picks Jonny up and puts him in a suplex position. He lifts him and sets him on the top turnbuckle. He pounds Jonny with a few right hands before stepping out onto the apron. He puts his foot on the first turnbuckle before putting Jonny’s arm over his neck. He then lift’s Jonny back up and turns him around on the top turnbuckle. He hooks his feet under the turnbuckle before delivering a large forearm, sending Jonny down into the Tree of Woe position. Crowd: Slide to Home! Slide to Home! Red steps back into the ring and goes to the corner opposite to Jonny. Red: 3 Strikes, You’re Out Jonny! Red begins a full out sprint towards Jonny before dropping into a baseball slide but Jonny uses his strength to pull himself just in time as Red’s feet hit the post and stop him before he goes crotch first. Jonny’s pulls himself up fully and then unhooks himself. Jonny hops back into the ring as Red tries to pull himself out from under the second rope. Jonny helps him with this by pulling him a little and then mud hole stomping him. Jonny then yanks him fully out. Jonny goes to pull Red up but he swats his hand away and hops up. He jumps up and hits a picture perfect gamengiri to Jonny. Jonny looks frozen as if he’s going to Flair Flop at any moment now. However, Jonny never falls and Red slowly gets up. He just looks at Jonny who looks half dead. Red goes to toe kick him but Jonny suddenly comes to life and grabs the leg. He then shoots his left hand out and chokes Red. He then lifts Red up and slams him with the chokeslam sit out powerbomb. The entire ring shakes from impact. Edison: Ooooh, what an impressive Chokeslam-Sit Down Powerbomb type move. Very nice move by Jonny Spade. Once again, the “Eh- Hole” chant starts up. McNally: I agree with you my good friend and…wait…an Eh-Hole chant has started up. These fans really don’t favor Jonny here tonight.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:35:29 GMT -5
Jonny pulls Red up instead of pinning him. Red looks out of it and Jonny scoops him up for a body slam, but he walks to the turnbuckle. He then hooks Red’s feet in the top turnbuckle. He finally sets Red in the tree of woe and Jonny laughs and walks to the other side of the ring, going to mimic Red’s Slide to Home. Jonny raises his arms but he looks and sees Red slowly trying to pull himself up. Jonny then “falls to the ground” to catch the ref’s attention. Jonny starts saying he hurt his ankle as Red pulls himself up. He uses every bit of energy he has left to get up, trying to unhook himself. Finally, he gets up but Melissa hops on the apron and clocks Red in the head with ACW Entertainment title. She hops off the apron as Red falls back in the tree of woe, totally out of it now. Jonny now gets up and says his ankle is fine which doesn’t go over well with the crowd as they start to get a little angry. Crowd: Fuck you Jonny! *Clap, Clap, Clap Clap Clap* Jonny smirks as he walks over to Red. On the outside, Melissa wears the Entertainment Title over her shoulder. Jonny grabs Red and pushes him up so he’s sitting on the top turnbuckle without falling. Jonny steps out onto the canvas and climbs the turnbuckle. Jonny wraps his arm around Red’s head as he pulls him up so both are standing vertically. Jonny points to the Entertainment title, then to the crowd before jumping up as thousands of flashes from cameras are seen. Jonny flips in the air and he and Red crash hard to the mat after the Avalanche Shiranui. Crowd: Holy Shit! Sholy shit! Edison: Oh…..My….GAAAWD. That move was DAAAAAANGEERROOOUS! Melissa jumps around on the outside as Jonny hooks the leg. The referee slides down to count so this will finally be over. Ref: 1…………2…………3 The referee signals for the bell as Melissa slides into the ring with the title, as happy as possibly. Jonny just lies on the mat, as that took up his very last ounce of energy. Melissa tells the ref to scram as she holds Jonny’s arm up. The crowd slowly stop chanting holy shit and begins to boo, taking what happened fully into effect and realizing that Jonny has just won.
DING DING DING! Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner by pinfall…and NEW ACW Entertainment Champion…..Jonny SPADE!
McNally: Oh my god! That was incredible!
Edison: This match WAS for the Entertainment title, and entertain it did! That very impressive Avalanche style Shiranui to end it all!
The referee checks on Red as “Animal I have Become” hits the P.A. system and the crowd boos even louder.
– Reply of the Avalanche Shiraniu is shown 3 times, first the normal, second in slow motion, and third in another angle – [/color] [/i] Jonny is now on his feet with help from Melissa as he holds the Entertainment title up high in his right hand as Melissa raises his left hand. Jonny is as excited as he can be with the amount of energy he even has in him. Jonny then pulls the Entertainment title down and stares at it. He smiles and looks over at Melissa. He starts laughing and hugs her. Jonny then walks over and holds the ropes open for Melissa as she walks out. Jonny then slides of the ring with the title. The two walk up the stage with Jonny staring at the Entertainment Title. When they reach the top of the stage they turn around as Jonny kisses the title and raises it high, yet not one person in the arena cheers him. He and Melissa give a curtain call before finally exiting to the back to start the celebration party.
The camera then focuses into the ring to see Red pound the mat. He holds his head for a moment before slowly sliding out of the ring. “Animal I have Become slowly fades down as the crowd begins clapping for the now former champ. Red looks up into the crowd and smiles, realizing he doesn’t have to be a champ to do great things. He then raises his arm in the air as he slowly starts to make his way to the back. Sure, Red is disappointed, yet he doesn’t let it show as his fans showed that even through heart break, they’re still there for him. Scene starts to face with Red walking up the ramp with an arm in the air smiling, yet heartbroken at the same time.
[We cut backstage] [/b] [/center]
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:36:40 GMT -5
Segment: Confrontation: (credit: Jonny Hughes)
We return from commercial in the backstage area where the usual hustle and bustle is taking place, the crew members are working overtime as this is a Pay Per View, the catering table is decked out with extra special food with this being a large event, suddenly one of the doors that leads to the locker-room area opens and out steps Jonny Spade, several road agents go to congratulate him on his sterling effort in his match with Red, he acknowledges the thanks and walks over to a nearby drinks vending machine, Spade's body is glistening with sweat, around his neck is a white towel which he uses to mop some of the sweat off his brow as he presses one of the buttons on the machine ACW's other Jonny, Jonny Hughes enters via the car park. He notices Spade and smirks.
Hughes: Well if it isn't "The Ace Of Spades" Jonny Spade, how you doing?
Spade: Well I'm pretty worn out, i just.....
Hughes: You know that question was rhetorical right? I don't really care how you are, now if you're done with the vending machine some other people would like to use it.
Jonny Spade grabs his bottled water and starts to walk away from Hughes who is now putting a dollar into the machine.
Spade: Oh I just remembered, you're one loss from being sent to Fallout right?
This clearly annoys Hughes who gives Spade a deep stare
Hughes: Yeah but that'll never happen, you see i was screwed by the board of directors, they placed me against Hunter but next week i'm picking my opponent myself. How did you do tonight i was watching at home but fell asleep during your match.
Hughes laughs
Spade: You fell asleep during my match!?! Speaking of matches who've you got here tonight? Oh wait you didn't make the card.
Hughes throws his bottle of water at Spade and curls his hands into tight fists, several nearby road agents see that Hughes is about to fly at Spade and drag him away before anything can happen.
Spade: For that Hughes, I'm telling Gingerdude that I want a match with you next Warfare, because I'm sending you to Fallout bitch!
Fade to Black
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:37:07 GMT -5
Segment: It’s not about you. This is MY night. (Credit: Scott Andrews)
The past few weeks, Scott Andrews has had his ups and downs, wins and losses. But one thing that’s been on his mind is the fact that he must face Vince Hall for the second time on PPV to defend his Light Heavyweight Title. That, and the fact that Jacob Jones, Scott’s favourite referee </sarcasm>, has been appointed the match. It now seems that this match will be more of a handicap match than a regular contest, but this is only seen as a challenge by the Assassin.
We open the scene in the Senatorial Locker Room; a place where Scott and Jessie have spent a lot of time in recently, mainly to regroup themselves with the stable…plus it has a games room, so BONUS!
Scott jumps up and down lightly, shadow boxing while Jessie sits and reads the latest edition of ACW Monthly.
Jessie: Hey, it says here that I’m one of the hottest divas in ACW! I should be THE hottest! What’s wrong with these voters?!...Scott, are you listening to me?
Scott continues to shadow box. Jessie rests the magazine on her lap and looks over to Scott.
Jessie: SCOTT!
Scott shakes himself back to reality and turns to his girlfriend.
Scott: I’m sorry, hun…I’m trying to focus on my match here! Come on, you know how important this match is.
Jessie: Yeah, I know, but still!
Scott: Jessie, to me, you are the hottest lady in ACW and the world combined…together. Don’t mind that magazine, just focus on tonights task; taking out Vince Hall without the interference of that bloody, Jacob Jones. It’ll be a piece of cake! All we gotta do is stay focused, you got that?
Jessie: Yeah, I’ll be fine, and so will you. You’re freakin’ Scott Andrews, for Christ sake!
Scott: You know I love you, right?
Jessie: Yeah I know.
Scott: …cheeky devil.
The two share a brief kiss before Scott picks up his title belt and drapes it over his shoulder.
Scott: Tonight, I’m gonna show the world why the original Cold Blooded Killer is the greatest Light Heavyweight Champion in ACW history!
Scott grabs Jessie by the hand and opens the locker room door. They march off out of frame as the camera cuts to the next portion of Heatwave - The Biggest Party Of The Summer…
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:37:47 GMT -5
Match 5: Hardcore Inferno Catapult Tables Ladders Chairs Cage In A Cell With Lemon Juice And Tomato Sauce Electric Hellfire Iron Maiden Cheese Rolling Guillotine Light-tubes Shin Kicking Thumbtacks Illegal Border Crossing Rock Paper Scissors Bog Snorkeling Singapore Cane Badminton Soccer Dictionary Chains In Alice Ark Of The Covenant Pass The Parcel Exploding Bombs Tornado Eruption Seismic Earthquake Head In A Box Deathmatch Papylov the Explorer vs. Richard Parker (Credit: AK/Hunter) Time for a temporary downshift in glamour now, as the alphatron shows those in the arena a shot of the outside of the ACW arena. Just in front of the main staff doors from the parking lot stands Charlotte King, and as the camera pans back, it reveals Hunter on one side of her, and Alicia on the other. At their feet are their respective “companions”; Papylov is seated, gazing around him with an expression that he’s been to more exciting locations, while Richard Parker is pawing Alicia’s leg and meowing. Charlotte smiles professionally for the camera.Charlotte: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I have been entrusted with the task of starting the first phase of this unique contest between two of ACW’s more… unusual stars. Alicia and Hunter, you must encourage your animals to move of their own accord through the ACW building to the main arena where the match itself will take place, and you may not touch your animals, or each others’- Hunter (under breath) Damn… Charlotte:-at any point during the race. Are you all prepared? Hunter: Papylov fears no one. Alicia: It’s in the bag for Richard. Charlotte:…well, I think you’re both nuts. But regardless of that, this contest begins… now! She dramatically flourishes a scarf, signaling the start of the competition.Hunter: All right! Papylov, GO! Alicia: Come on, RP, we’re off! … And very little happens. Papylov glances at Hunter; Parker continues to meow at Alicia, and simply parks his behind on the concrete when Alicia moves away from him. Hunter frowns, but Alicia doesn’t look concerned. Alicia: Ok, I guess you have a point. Look what I have! She fishes into the pocket of her coat, and pulls out a handful of cat treats. Parker’s ears perk up, and he starts to patter toward Alicia, who drops one and keeps moving toward the building. Hunter is taken aback. Hunter: You’d stoop to bribery? How base of you. Alicia: Base maybe, but I haven’t fed my cat all day and he’s hungry enough to do just about anything for food. Whereas I suspect your lardball there… Flashback to the Senatorial Office, five minutes previously. Rattlesnake and Scott are examining a collection of empty snack wrappers and cans with a look of annoyance, if not actual surprise.Rattlesnake: I TOLD him to lock the food cupboard if he left that Koala alone! Return to the present. Hunter looks down at Papylov, who looks anything but starved. In fact, he looks about ready for a nap after all that warm up exercise.Alicia: See you in the ring, if you ever get there… She pushes her way through the doors to the building, with Parker scampering after her. Hunter looks fit to burst; but he won’t give up at this early stage. Hunter: Are you going to let some mangy cat beat you? Huh? Where’s your fighting spirit? Papylov scratches his ear, and stands… then sits down again. Hunter sighs. Hunter: Papylov… please. For me. Hunter and Papylov look at one another, and, well… let’s just say, it’s a heartwarming moment. The koala draws himself up, and then starts to walk, first on all fours, and then up on two feet. The grin on Hunter’s face is priceless.Hunter: NOW you’re motoring! We’ll catch them in no time! --------------------------
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:39:35 GMT -5
A second camera is already inside the building. It hurries along, trying to find Alicia and her charge… and finds them rather more quickly than expected.
Alicia: RICHARD! You come down here, right now!
The camera pans up, and shows a little black silhouette on a high window ledge. Parker is up there, and by the looks of things, he’s pilfered what looks like a hotdog from an inattentive member of the backstage crew. He sits and munches on this without a care in the world.
Alicia:…well, so much for that plan.
As she looks up, trying to work out what to do, in the background Hunter is passing by, leading Papylov along at a slow but steady pace.
Hunter: Ha… can you say “Tortoise and Hare”?
They slowly round the corner, and Alicia puts her hands on her hips.
Alicia: Fine. Desperate times call for desperate measures…
She hurries off in the opposite direction, leaving the fans to wonder what she means…
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Hunter, meanwhile, couldn’t be happier. His pet is easily proving his superiority, and all is right with the world.
Hunter: What shall we use first on the furball, hmm? Baseball bat? 2 by 4?...
He stops, as he realizes with a shock that Papylov is no longer following in his footsteps. Anxiously he retraces his steps, and quickly locates his koala.
Hunter: What the….?
Papylov, it seems, is catching up on some quality reading time, with a copy of ACW magazine. He sits leant up against the wall next to a heater, and looks very comfortable.
Hunter: You can read after the match, put that down.
Papylov ignores him.
Hunter: Look, I’m sorry buddy, but we don’t have an option here.
He puts a hand on the magazine and tries to take it. Papylov looks up and him, and gives Hunter the sort of stare that would make Torak proud. Hunter immediately lets go, both freaked out and in awe of Papylov’s mysterious abilities.
Hunter: All right, all right… will you at least skip the Fallout pages?
Another, even more toxic glare.
Hunter: Sheessh…
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:40:47 GMT -5
------------------------
Not so very far away, Alicia comes back up the corridor to where Richard Parker is hiding. She pulls out her cellphone, and holds it up, pressing the keys for sound replay. An audio clip of a very familiar voice starts up.
Latino: Hey, hey, hey! What’s the matter, gato? You too slow even to beat a pygmy bear?
Richard Parker sits up, and hisses. AK smiles.
Latino: You know what? I don’t want you to win this match. That way, I get to spend lots of time comforting my chulita, and you get sent to the unwanted cats’ pound!
Parker hops down from the window ledge, on to some packing cases. Alicia starts to move away, with the phone message still playing.
Latino: I curse your mother and your father and your second cousin removed! Pendejo!
That’s the final straw; Parker lunges at the phone and knocks it out of Alicia’s hand. She retrieves it, and starts to call to him.
Alicia: Come on, kittykittykittykitty!
Parker puts his head on one side and wrinkles his nose. AK gives him a sharp look.
AK: MOVE YOUR ARSE BEFORE I DELETE ALL YOUR OCARINA OF TIME DATA!!
Parker looks alarmed, and starts running down the hall; Alicia smiles, and hurries to keep up…
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Hunter is still trying to persuade Papylov to postpone his reading when AK shoots past him; she waves, and is quickly out of sight. Hunter becomes anxious; his koala moves slower than a cat regardless of their relative positions. If AK gets to the ring first and has a chance to see what’s set up there…
Hunter: Oh, SCREW this!
He scoops Papylov up, magazine and all, and starts to run with him. He rapidly makes up the ground, and dashes past Alicia, who is trying to stop Parker from investigating a dark corner of a storeroom.
Alicia: HEY! You can’t-
Hunter: WATCH ME!
He streaks away, and Alicia sighs. She catches hold of Parker, who meows in protest, and starts running herself. Neither of them can now be very far from their goal….
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:42:34 GMT -5
The audience can sense that the “competitors” are about to make it to the arena. The boys up in the control booth await the signal, and then cue in “Cat Scratch Fever”. Evidently, Alicia’s managed to get ahead of Hunter in the last dash to the arena curtain…
“Well I don't know where they come from But they sure do come I hope they comin' for me And I don't know how they do it But they sure do it good I hope they doin' it for free…
They give me cat scratch fever Cat scratch fever!”
Philip: Ladies and Gentlemen, now entering the arena, at a weight of 12lb… being accompanied by Alicia Kitsune, Richard Paarr-kerrrr!
The crowd pops, going along with the insanity, and there are quite a few extra cheers and wolf whistles when AK comes out. Specially for the occasion, she’s dressed in a sheer black PVC catsuit (which she must have been wearing under her coat before the match started), and she carries Parker to the ring, presumably to conserve energy.
Playing to the crowd, she enters the ring (which has a cage surrounding it) and carries her pet to the corners before coming back to the centre of the ring. The music shifts into the distinctive opening of “Down Under” by Men at Work.
”Traveling in a fried-out combie On a hippie trail, head full of zombie I met a strange lady, she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast And she said…”
Hunter comes through the curtain… and everyone over the age of 21 or with a love of cheesy films marks out; he’s dressed in the full “Crocodile Dundee” getup, complete with croc-skin jacket and hat. He carries Papylov on one shoulder to the ring.
"Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover!"
Philip: And his opponent, from the wild Australian Outback… Papylov the Exploooor-er!
Hunter climbs the steps, moves through the door, and holds Papylov high above his head as he walks around the ring (it’s a good job Papylov seemingly arrived already toilet-trained). He puts his pet on the mat, a short distance from Richard Parker, and both he and Alicia leave the ring and stand watching as the cage door is bolted shut. The referee, who isn’t really sure about any of this, shifts into automatic pilot, and calls for the bell.
Bell Rings.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:43:42 GMT -5
Richard Parker and Papylov the Explorer sit lazily on the mat of the wrestling ring as the fans cheer around them. On either side of the ring stand AK and Hunter, both cheering their animals on in different ways. The animals look at the wide variety of weapons around them very curiously. Clearly they have no earthly idea what they are supposed to be doing, but one way or another they’ll figure it out. Papylov is the first to move (which naturally boosts Hunter’s ego), and he moves over to a nearby Singapore cane.
Hunter: That’s right! WHACK THAT CAT! WHACK IT GOOD!!!
Papylov slowly drags the cane back to Parker and raises it above his head. Hunter smirks evilly as Papylov lightly drops the cane onto Parker’s head. Parker meows lightly as Papylov sits back down and starts to nibble on the cane.
Hunter: Bullshit! KILL HIM!!!
AK: Oh come on Hunter, it’s obvious they’re not going to do anything.
Hunter: I declare shenanigans!
And with that, Hunter climbs into the ring over the cage surrounding it. He grabs a table and then grabs Parker.
AK: Hey, put down my cat!
Hunter completely ignores her, and places Parker onto the table. He then lifts up Papylov and puts him onto the table as well.
Hunter: Powerbomb him, Papylov!
By this time, AK has also started to climb the cage. After all, no one can disrespect her pet like that. AK hops into the ring just as Hunter puts Parker onto Papylov’s shoulders.
Hunter: POWERBOMB!
AK runs in and grabs Parker, then puts him down at her feet.
AK: Christ, Hunter. Let it go, they’re not going to fight.
Hunter: Oh yes they will. You just wait.
And as if on cue, Papylov the Explorer leaps off the table and flies into Richard Parker. Both animals slowly get up as AK looks at Papylov inquisitively. Innocently, the alcoholic koala looks back at her.
AK: …well I’ll be.
Hunter: DAMN STRAIGHT! GO, PAPYLOV, GO!!!
This attack sparks some sort of outrage in Richard Parker, so the pesky feline suddenly sparks into life, charges at Papylov and headbutts him. Papylov looks at Parker following this attack, and there is an intense moment of silence. Hunter and AK know what’s about to happen, and so they slowly back up to a corner in the cage. After only a moment, Parker lunges at Papylov, and the two begin to brawl as best as two animals with insanely short paws can. (If you’ve ever seen that clip of a cat “boxing” on Youtube, it’s like that. Only with attitude.) Papylov lifts up Parker, and drops him down hard with a sort of hip toss (well, not really, since Parker fell a few inches; but it’s the thought that counts).
Hunter: Ha, my pet is a technical mastermind!
As if yet another cue has come in, Parker leaps onto Papylov and takes him down. There is a bit of a scuffle, and somehow Parker intertwines his four legs with his foe to produce what can just about be described as… an Anaconda Vice. Yes, you read that right. A cat just locked a koala bear in an Anaconda Vice. You know you love ACW. Hunter’s eyes widen as AK simply laughs.
AK: You were saying?
Papylov bridges up, and then slams Parker down in a Rock Bottom style move. Papylov then leaps into the air and falls down in a sort of senton position onto Parker. But let’s not forget these leaps are only a few inches, and the weight is like…ten pounds or something. Papylov grabs Parker’s head and gets him in a headlock, and then lifts him up as if for a suplex. But Parker is too clever, and so he slides down and grabs Papylov around the waist…and hits him with a german suplex.
Hunter: …
AK: …
That’s basically the entire reaction this spot gets.
Hunter: …when did you teach your cat a german suplex?
AK: I didn’t, he just watches an awful lot of Chris Benoit DVDs.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:44:38 GMT -5
Parker randomly falls down on Papylov, and the referee outside of the ring starts counting it as a pinfall. Just as soon as he gets to the two, Parker sits up.
AK: Oh, Richard, you nitwit!
Hunter: Ha! Your cat’s lack of intelligence just cost him this match! TURN IT AROUND, PAPYLOV!!!
Parker walks over to a bottle of lemon juice, and then grabs it with his teeth and drags it back to Papylov. He bites through the top of the bottle, and then drops it and jumps onto it. Within moments, Papylov is covered in lemon juice, amidst many boos from Hunter. Parker approaches Papylov and then begins to lick the lemon juice off his belly. Papylov falls to the ground, clearly being tickled by this.
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!
Hunter: DESTROY HIM YOU WEAK MONGREL!!!
Papylov accidentally kicks Parker away, and then slowly gets up as Parker walks over to the other side of the ring. He noses around a bit, and grabs a small box and drags it back over to Papylov. He bites through the box and paws it about carefully, distributing its remnants onto the mat. And only then does Hunter freak out to the fullest extent of his sick mind. He’s so startled that only AK can describe what they see.
AK: …thumbtacks?
Papylov slowly walks closer to Parker, and in the process walks closer to the thumbtacks. Hunter widens his eyes and leaps onto the table, and then leaps off of it and grabs Papylov off the ground a moment before he walks into the thumbtacks, rolling as he lands. Sighing, Hunter gets to his feet and kicks the thumbtacks away, and then sets Papylov down once more.
AK: Erm…Hunter?
Hunter: Yes?
AK points to his chest, and Hunter slowly looks down only to behold around twenty to thirty thumbtacks lodged in him. His eyes widen, he turns around, and he walks back into his corner. AK thinks that’s the end of the situation, until…
Hunter: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
She smiles, and then brings her attention back towards the animals. Papylov makes his way over to a large circuit board with many random switches attached to it. He flicks one randomly…and the ring is engulfed in flames. AK quickly runs over to Papylov and moves him away from the board, then flicks the switch off. She looks scornfully at the technicians outside of the cage and shakes her head.
AK: Honestly, people, fire? Of all things?
Technician: It was Hunter’s idea.
AK sighs and turns back around, only to see that Parker has now found his way over to the iron maiden. For those unaware of what an iron maiden actually is (besides one of the most rocking bands ever \m/), it is an ancient form of torture. The victim is basically put into a sort of sarcophagus, and the lid is closed on them. The thing is, though, that the lid has many many many long and sharp spikes attached to it. So if the door closes…yeah, it’ll hurt. Not to mention that since the spikes never hit any important organs, the person is actually still alive for a few hours while being impaled by all of this. So as soon as AK sees Parker inside of the iron maiden, her heart skips a beat.
AK: Richard, I don’t think that’s---
Suddenly, the lid slams shut and the iron maiden itself falls down to the ground. Following the removal of the final thumbtack, Hunter gets to his feet and looks over the scene: the iron maiden on the ground, and Papylov standing by it with a slightly tilted head. AK’s eyes are on the verge of tears, but before we can have any sort of funeral, she thinks it best to actually check the situation. She slowly walks over to the iron maiden and lifts the lid cautiously. And what she finds inside is much better than she had anticipated.
Richard Parker: Meow!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Aug 26, 2006 14:45:16 GMT -5
David Blaine, eat your heart out. Richard Parker leaps into AK’s arms as AK shockingly looks over the iron maiden. Turns out there weren’t as many spikes as she originally assumed, and to add to that, none of them are very close together.
Hunter: Talk about luck.
AK shoots Hunter a menacing glare.
AK: We’re done here, Hunter.
Hunter: Aw hell naw! We’re just getting started!
AK: My cat almost died because of---
But the animals themselves don’t seem to care about how much their masters are going to argue about them. They still want to fight it out, and so Richard leaps out of AK’s arms and tackles Papylov. Papylov rolls away and lifts Richard high…and then nails the Shotgun.
Hunter: Damn straight!
AK: …oh, fine, let them go nuts.
The referee attempts to count the pin, but Papylov scrambles away just before it is completed, similar to how his nemesis escaped it earlier. Papylov finds a box that reads “head in a box” and slowly opens it. He peers inside, pauses, and then walks away. Hunter: Oh come on, that would’ve made a great weapon!
AK: Just what exactly was in that box anyway?
Hunter: A replica of Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.
Pause. AK simply turns her attention back towards the animals as Parker grabs a dictionary and takes it over to Papylov. Parker whips his tail at Papylov, and then slams him down onto the dictionary. Papylov coils back, grabs a badminton racket, and then hits Parker with it, causing the cat to fall down lightly. He’s not in danger or pain or anything. No, he’s tired.
Audience: Awwwwwwwwww!
Hunter: I’m really getting sick of you people…
Papylov walks over to a nearby ladder, and slowly starts to climb it. Noticing that AK’s back is turned, Hunter grabs Papylov and runs up the ladder with him. He sets him up at the top facing Parker, and then lies back on the ladder under him. AK turns around only a fraction of a second too late.
AK: Hunter, you have GOT to be kid---
But he’s not. Papylov leaps into the air…and then the lights go out. The fans groan and boo at this failure at anything moderately technical by ACW’s finest. But a few moments later, the lights come back on, and Papylov is lying on top Parker. Hunter, suspiciously enough, is at the bottom of the ladder. AK simply stares wide-eyed.
Hunter: Papylov…Pap…Pa…Papylov just did a 630 BOMB!!!
The fans are clearly confused by what they had just witnessed (or didn’t, rather), and the confusion is broken once the tension mounts and the referee counts the pin. But yet again, Papylov gets up and walks away in the opposite direction.
Hunter: Damn it, Papylov, you have him!
Instead, Papylov walks back over to the circuit board that AK had previously moved him away from. He looks at all of the buttons carefully, and then finds one that suits him, and presses it. A loud alarm goes off overhead, and AK stares at it in a confused manner.
AK: Hunter…what is that alarm for?
Hunter: …erm…
AK: …HUNTER…
Hunter: You remember that part of the name that had the words “exploding” and “bombs?”
AK’s eyes widen in a matter of seconds.
AK: …how long before it blows?
Hunter: I set it for…erm…a minute.
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