Thursday Night Meltdown 18th May 2006

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Thursday Night Meltdown 18th May 2006

Schedule of Matches:
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The Complex vs. Logan Locke

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Leon “The Chef” Chase vs. Dr. Doom

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Sarin vs. Mystery Opponent

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Jake Cheng vs. Scott Andrews

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BK London vs. Elvir

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OnlyRedsFan vs. Senator

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Dan White vs. Jonny Spade

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Fatal Fourway Match
Hunter vs. Rattlesnake vs. Atomic Kitsune vs. Tornado

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[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

The sound of a hyped-up Meltdown crowd is heard before the pictures kick in; once they do, there is the usual fanfare and pyro bursts as the crowd go wild (not least due to the fact that Philip has primed them on this moments before the show goes on air). The cameras get a couple of good panning shots, and then it’s into the first backstage segment of the night…

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: This One Is War (Credit: Yoko / Sarin)

As the scene fades in, we see only two white sneaker covered feet from the side walking across a concrete surface.

The camera pulls back, revealing Yoko’s legs, and a burlap sack hanging at her side. As it pulls back more, we see she’s in the parking lot, and Sarin is following her, with her own bag at her side.

Sarin: Let me just say again that I love this idea. This side of you is SUCH a turn on, Yoko.

Yoko smiles.

Yoko: We just have to teach them to take us seriously. This will do it. And here we are, Hunter’s car.

Sarin: What if it’s locked?

Yoko opens it.

Yoko: It wouldn’t be, because he wouldn’t expect anyone here to attempt to get into his car. Kind of a taboo thing to do, you know?

She sets down her bag and reaches into it, pulling out a…square, Japanese lantern. It’s red, with a highly detailed image drawn on all four sides. The images include a black widow spider, a guillotine, massive hedge clippers, and a mighty buzzsaw. She lights the interior and sets it down on the driver’s seat, the dim flames lighting up the interior, and closes the door.

Yoko: A Yoko lantern is a sign of impending doom. Hunter knows that.

Sarin: And what about a Sarin lantern?

She pulls a blue lantern out of her bag. There are no drawings on it, just swirls of blue mist. If one were to stare at it, one would perhaps see things in the mist design. Ghostly faces, demons…bad omens. Yoko smirks.

Yoko: I like it. They’ll soon learn that a Sarin lantern is just as bad as one from Yoko!

Sarin: Is that Fallen Souls’ car next to Hunter’s?

Yoko: Yes.

Sarin walks over to it opens the door. She lights her lantern and places it into FSX’s car like Yoko did Hunter’s, and closes the door.

Sarin: If only we could see their faces when they get the message.

Yoko: They won’t see them until they’re leaving the arena later. If we time it right, we may catch them.

Sarin: Let’s get back to my locker room, I need to get ready for my match.

Yoko nods, and they head back.

End Segment.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Fan Zone (Credit: Logan Locke)

A motorcycle pulls up to the parking lot and removes his helmet and it is Logan Locke. He tosses the helmet to the valet who looks a little nervous. He awkwardly climbs on the bike and tries to start it but fails. After trying a couple of time the bike finally starts and the valet cautiously inches forward. The bike jerks and shoots forward putting the valet on his ass. Logan smiles and shakes his head as he walks into the arena. There are a handful of fans in the back that approach him for autographs .

Man #1: Hey! I have followed your career since you were a champ in Japan! You were so good, why’d you leave?

Locke: Well they couldn’t handle the real deal, and that’s what I’m all about. The Japanese government kicked me out because I said the government sucked and they should look to America for guidance.

Man #2: What about that finisher you do, the Locke Down? It is UNREAL! Do you think I could ever pull that move off?

Locke: First of all, (looks at the camera) never try what you see here at home (looks back). As for the move, I saw a man do it when I was fighting in Africa. I was so amazed but when he tried to teach me I couldn’t do it. Long story short, the tribe owed me a favor and the witch doctor did a ritual that took away all my fears. Once I was free of fear I did it no problem. And that’s why normal people can’t do it. Even the most powerful man fears something and is restricted by it, but not me. Not having fear allows me to do anything.

A beauty, who is young looking with brown hair that has highlights and blue eyes steps up. Logan notices her bust and tries to figure out her cup size. He realizes she has a beautiful smile pointed in his direction.

Girl: I have no wrestling questions but I was just wondering if you have a girl friend?

Logan: Well I don’t do girlfriends, but I will definitely [glow=red,2,300]do[/glow] you. (takes out a room key and sticks it down her shirt) I’ll see you after the show.

He winks and finishes signing autographs. He walks off towards the ring entrance…

Fade out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 1: The Complex vs. Logan Locke (Credit: Logan)

As the shot cuts back to the main arena, Techno music blasts on the loud speakers and laser lights travel across the crowd while smoke fills the entrance way.

Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, the first match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit... making his way to the ring from New Jersey…..LOGAN LOCKE!

Logan runs out and onto the ring apron and he flips over the ropes into the ring. The music quiets as Logan grabs a mic. As he gets ready to talk there is a mix of cheers and boos.

Logan: Just like last week, mixed reaction from the fans, but hey, I’m fine with that. Some of you like my attitude while others can’t handle me telling the real deal around here. I was told that some of my comments about last week about Torak and his…ability…were out of line. I however feel that you fans are too smart to be tricked and lied to and I believe that when telling the truth, there are no lines. WHICH… brings me to my opponent this week, The Complex, oooo scary. You’re not really as complex as you like people to think buddy. All your life problems could have been avoided early if the government would have done their job from the beginning and deported your illegal ass. But I still felt bad when I heard about your car accident that left you deformed. Well I felt bad until I saw a picture of you before the accident and I hate to break it to you but that accident probably did you some good! I mean come on, yo…..

There’s a large gong that is heard, and the arena goes eerily silent for a moment before the music kicks in. Then, the lights dim slightly and a yellow filter is covered over them, which shines mainly on the top of the ramp. The Complex walks out, wearing a white cape. He rips off the cape and drops it angrily on the ramp. Complex has heard enough as he walks down to the bottom and stares a hole through Locke as the lights go back on.

Philip: And his opponent….THE COMPLEX!

Complex gets in the ring and Logan runs at him and hits a clothesline that knocks him off his feet. The referee can see that it’s all kicking off, and acts appropriately.

Bell Rings.

Locke runs off the rope again and as Complex gets up Logan comes across with a flying clothesline. Logan jumps up and raises his hands up and down firing up the crowd. As he does this Complex gets to his feet and Locke turns into a knee to the gut. Complex picks him up and hits a massive Atomic Drop. Complex stands over him and starts stomping on Logan lower back repeatedly. Complex picks up Logan by his hair and puts him on his shoulder. He turns around in a circle letting all the fans see Locke’s face right before he hits a Samoan Drop. Complex throws Locke into the corner and runs at him and hits a spear. Complex slowly backs up to the other turnbuckle and runs for a shoulder thrust but Locke moves out of the way and Complex hits it the turnbuckle. Complex bounces off and grabs his chest as Logan wobbles around. Complex comes back for another clothesline but Logan ducks again. Complex goes for it one more time but Logan runs and jumps off the rope for a sling-shot spear. The two wrestlers roll on the ground for a while before Logan gets up first but not far behind is his opponent. Locke open fire on Complex with a series of kicks and punches that ends in Locke drop kicking Complex out of the ring. Logan is fired up now and runs and dives head first out of the ring but Complex jumps up and catches him and turns it into a Tribute (back breaker). Complex again starts working on Locke’s lower back as he picks him up and throws him back first into the ring steps.

Smirking, Complex grabs Logan by the head and drags him to the announce table and slams him on there. Locke pokes complex in the eye and grabs a chair. He goes to use it but Complex body slams him onto the floor. Complex throws Locke into the ring and then throws the chair inside with him. As Complex climbs in the ring Logan gives him a round house kick to the chest that makes him bounce back and knocks the ref out of the ring. Before Logan realizes what’s going on, Complex comes back with a kick of his own to Logan’s temple. He sways for a moment before falling down on his face. Complex gives the fans a cut throat to signify the end as he locks on the Schweingatame. Locke tries to fight out of it but can’t and starts tapping like a crazy man. The ref is still knocked out though and Complex’s effort is wasted. He releases the hold and reaches through the ropes to wake the ref up. While Complex has his back turned Locke grabs the chair lying in the ring. The ref starts to get up and Complex turns around only to be greeted by a thunderous chair shot that flattens Complex and leaves him un-moving. Logan gets rid of the chair and climbs the turnbuckle as the ref gets in the ring. Locke jumps and hits the Locke Down as the fans jump to their feat in awe. Logan crawls over to Complex and lays his arm across his body as the ref goes to count…

1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
3!!!

Philip: Here is your winner…LOGAN LOCKE

Logan has his hand raised and then he climbs the turnbuckle and raises his arm as the fans applaud. He jumps down and looks at Complex as he starts to stir. Logan grabs a mic. And leans over Complex

Locke: You just got knocked the fuck out! And that my friend, is The Real Damn DEAL!

He drops the mic and walks up the ramp with a smile on his face as Complex sits up. Locke stops at the top of the ramp and the two new comers stare each other down as we go to a commercial.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Walk In (Credit: Red’s Only Fan)

A camera cuts to Red, who is marching confidently backstage. Hung over his shoulder is the Entertainment championship. He walks around the backstage area with a grin on his face and taunts random backstage workers with his title.

Red walks by a locker room. He abruptly stops and backs up to the door. With a grin forming on his face he knocks on the door.

Female voice: Coming….

After mishearing this, he opens the door to walk in on a lady wrapping a towel around herself and walking toward the door. Red stops and stares with golf ball sized eyes as the women lets out a cry of surprise, and hurriedly pulls the towel tightly around her.

AK: What is the matter with you? You don’t just walk in someone’s dressing room uninvited!

Red: You said come in.

AK: No. I said “coming”.

Red (With a grin): It all sounds the same to me. I was just looking for Latino. Is he around?

AK gives him a look that suggests she can’t quite believe that they’re still having this conversation.

AK: No, he isn’t. Now would you mind buggering off so I can get changed?

Red: Sorry. But from one champ to another… Mmm mmm mmm, that’s a nice figure.

After saying that, Red quickly bolts from the room. The camera fades as AK glares after him as he races down the hall.

* Fade to black *

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Assistance (Credit: Hunter / ? )

As the scene fades in, Hunter can be seen standing in his locker room randomly pacing about. The door opens and he looks to see who it is.

Hunter: Oh, it's you. I'm glad you're here.

The camera tries to see who Hunter is talking to, but it can't catch a glimpse of who it is.

?: You said you wanted to see me, so I came here. What would the former World Champion want with me?

Hunter gets slightly irritated by the tone in the person's voice.

Hunter: Look, I wanted you to come here and have a little discussion about my match tonight. I didn't want to get into an argument about semantics.

?: Your match tonight? What about it?

Hunter: I've been doing some thinking. I look at all the people I'm facing tonight...Atomic Kitsune, Rattlesnake, and Tornado...and I can't help but feel that seeing any of them win tonight wouldn't be right.

?: Hey, I didn't ask for you life story. What about the match tonight?

Hunter: I need a favor from you.

?: Oh? A favor?

Hunter: Yeah. I want you to help me out there. I want you to run down and interfere in the match.

?: Interfere in your match?

Hunter: That's right.

?: Ha ha ha. Is that all?

Hunter: Of course.

?: What's in it for me?

Hunter: I was thinking you might say something like that. If you help me tonight, I'll make it worth your while. You do this favor for me and I'll owe you one in the future. It doesn't matter what the favor you need me for is. You ask me and I'll do it.

?: Interesting offer. Before I give you my answer, I just want to know one thing.

Hunter: What is it?

?: Is there any kind of method for this? I mean, chair shots are nice, but completely unoriginal. I was wondering if you had anything in mind.

Hunter nods, seemingly pleased that he asked this person.

Hunter: Be creative. If there's anything you want to do, go for it.

?: I think we have an agreement then.

Hunter: Good. Just remember to run down to the ring during the match.

?: I won't forget. Tonight, the Champ, the Vision of Greatness, and the Next Big Thing become yesterday's news.

Hunter laughs as the person leaves the locker room. He looks extremely pleased with himself and goes back to his pacing and mental preparation for the match.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Retro Segment #21 (Credit: Yoko / Sarin)

November 3rd, 2005
Okinawa, Japan
The Satoshi Household

For once, it’s a slow day. No missing birthday parties, no crime fighting, no turkeys. Just a regular day around the house. Yoko and Sarin are doing the laundry. Or…they were, before getting distracted for a moment.

We fade in on Yoko’s upper torso. She’s leaning back against the washing machine. Her eyes are closed and she’s biting her lower lip and breathing heavily, obviously recovering from some intense feeling. What intense feeling? Isn’t it obvious?

Sarin pops up from below, a pair of panties in her hands. Clearly Yoko’s panties.

Sarin: Took a moment, but I found them! They’re going into the wash.

Yoko, still a bit starry eyed, laughs and shares a quick kiss with Sarin.

Yoko: You’re the best.

Sarin: Well laundry day wouldn’t be enjoyable without some fun mixed in with the work, now would it?

Yoko kisses her again, this time longer.

Yoko: Right, as usual.

Sarin: Just don’t forget that there’s nothing under that skirt until we finish washing, ok?

Yoko nods in response, and reaches for the bleach. Sarin unlocks the laundry room door now that they’ve had their fun. Just a few moments after Sarin had done that, Yuki comes into the room.

But she isn’t here to help with the laundry.

She’s dressed in a rainbow colored dress of some sort that would give anyone a headache to stare at, and she’s wearing an eerily happy looking Noh mask over her face. Sarin and Yoko look at her for a moment.

Yoko: Right then. You’ve gone insane.

Yuki: No! Don’t you get it?

Sarin: Not at all, I’m afraid.

Yuki: I’m your new crime fighting partner, Phantasm Gloria!

Sarin: Oooh, clever. But no, you’re not.

Yoko: It’s cute, but you can’t, Yuki. Seriously.

Yuki looks down at the floor, apparently let down. It just makes the happy Noh mask seem even creepier.

Yuki: I thought you’d let me if I came up with an identity, I’m sorry to have bothered you.

Yoko: Yuki-

Yuki has already exited the room.

Yoko: We need to talk to her.

Sarin: Let her wind down, first. She won’t listen to us right now. Let’s finish the laundry.

Yoko thinks about it and agrees with her.

End Segment.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 2: “The Chef” Leon Chase vs. Dr. Doom (Opening events credit: Leon)

Once again into the breach, dear friends, as Live and Let Die plays over the P.A. Philip asks everyone to welcome the newest ACW superstar, "The Chef" Leon Chase. Leon walks out onto the stage with his frying pan in the air, wearing a big chef hat. As he walks down to the ring a few cheers can be heard from people who have seen him in the past. As he walks down to the ring he slaps a few people’s hands then slides into the ring and holds up his frying pan. He grabs a microphone and starts talking to the crowd.

Chef: Hello, everyone. My name is Leon Chase or you can call me "The Chef". Many of you probably don't know who I am, but soon that will change. I came to ACW to win championship gold. And nothing is going to stop me from winning that. But, first I must deal with Dr. Doom.

*The crowd starts booing*

Chef: Yeah, I know. Many of you probably don't like him. But, I will give him his credit for his in ring performance. I mean look last week he beat Red, which really wouldn't be too hard. Just look at him. But, anyway that’s another story. Back to tonight, I got all the confidence in the world right now that I can beat Mr, oh sorry I mean "Dr." Doom…

Chase’s speech is cut off as “Hymn to the Soviet Union” strikes up, and the crowd starts booing loudly once again.

Philip: And his opponent, from Irkutsk, Siberia…. Dr. Doom!

With his cape swirling behind him, Doom comes down to the ring at a stately pace, his thoughts on his opponent a mystery due to the obscuring mask he now constantly wears. He enters the ring, and raises his arms in defiance of the crowd’s disapproval; the referee takes Doom’s cape and Chase’s frying pan, and passes the to the outside before giving the OK for the match to start.

Bell Rings.

The crowd are very interested to see what the Chef can cook up in his first ACW match, and as he and Doom start to circle, Chase makes the first move and engages in a grapple with his opponent. Doom is obviously very skilled in the technical aspects of such an encounter and quickly manages to shift around and get his opponent into one of his famed armbars, but Chase has both raw strength and spirit and is able to twist free before hitting Doom with a rapid series of forearm blows to the chest. He wisely avoids his opponent’s head, which is protected by the now ever-present mask, and instead delivers a neat vertical suplex; this allows Chase to make the first pin attempt of the match, which Doom kicks away from at 1.5. The fans like what they’re seeing, and start to cheer for the culinary master; Chase smiles and gestures, inciting the crowd to cheer more, but Doom takes advantage of this tiny lapse in concentration and strikes back with a snap suplex, leading into an abdominal stretch. The crowd boos, and the discomfort is evident on Chase’s face, which only seems to encourage Doom to crack up the pressure; the referee checks if Chase wishes to surrender, but Chase shakes his head and gathers his energy to struggle free. As soon as he’s up, Doom tests out his stamina on another front with a blast of kicks to the midsection; Chase toughs it out and then forces the Doctor into a headlock, weakening him with a number of knee strikes before showing off one of his trademark moves, the Jalapeno Hammer (Stunner). Chase pins again, with a confident smile; but Doom not only kicks before the 2 count but rakes his foe across the eyes and then elbows his viciously in the side of the head, turning the pin over while Chase is momentarily stunned. The referee counts again, 1….2- Chase kicks out, and glares at Doom as he gets back on his feet.

Doom is of course not bothered in the least about using sneak tactics, but that’s not to say that he in any way lacks the skills to get the job done cleanly. He demonstrates this now, throwing his foe into one of the corners and then working him over with kicks from calf to torso, so that most parts of Chase’s body are made to feel pain. As Chase fights to defend himself and get back into the match, Doom gets in close and lifts him into a sitting position on the post before flipping him off, savagely wrenching his arm in the first place. Chase stifles a cry of pain, and Doom decides that this will be the most effective route to victory; he pulls Chase up and then sends him down again with an armdrag, holding on into a fresh armbar. This endures for about 10 seconds or so before Chase breaks out, and he makes a powerful comeback, whipping Doom to the ropes and causing him to rebound directly into a big boot. As Doom smacks into the mat, Chase raises his arms, and signals for something big; he pulls Doom up and then lifts him, as if for a powerbomb, before elevating him further into a Razor’s Edge style setup. Before he can complete the Flambe Crash with a sit out Dominator, though, the effects of Doom’s assault come to bear, and he is unable to support his opponent’s weight; he has to let go, and Doom drops back to the mat, rolling through to protect himself and then rushing at his foe before he has a chance to prepare any defence. Doom delivers a mighty clothesline, and the crowd shouts in dismay; as Chase reels and struggles to rise, he puts himself unwittingly into perfect position for his opponent. Doom moves in, hooks up, and completes the Siberian Express (Angel’s wings); the count is a mere formality after such a powerful impact, and the referee completes the 1,2,3.

Philip: Here is your winner… Dr. Doom!

Inexperience was the Chef’s downfall in the end; Doom stands, and taunts the crowd, feeling invincible behind his mask, before exiting the ring and walking to the back. Chase is understandably disappointed, but the crowd gives him a warm cheer of appreciation as he recovers to his feet, and he resolves to learn from this match so that next time the cheers will be for his maiden victory, as the show cuts to a break.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment Name: Failure (credit: Elvir)

We are taken to a familiar graveyard that we now know is the home to “The archangel of Anarchy” Elvir, who this past Monday faced ACW favourite Latino. He as predicted by many was on the wrong side of a 3 count but looked decent in defeat. The camera now slowly enters an open, unnamed tomb; this tomb is sparsely illuminated by a combination of moonlight, which is creeping through the doorway and the rather large hole in the stone roof, and the plethora of candles that are dotted around the area. Knelt in the centre of the tomb is Elvir who is being slowly circled by the Zealot

Zealot: “You have failed me, and you know that I don’t tolerate failure.”

Elvir: “I’m sorry my lord but the pain of failure is enough; please don’t make me wear it.” Elvir’s voice has the slight element of fear

At this point the Zealot pulls something from underneath his robe, Elvir shudders as he does so

Elvir: “Please Master, not the cilice.” Elvir’s voice is now full of fear

Zealot: “You know the rules, you fail me, you wear it.”

The Zealot tosses the cilice towards Elvir who winces as it lands in front of him; the cilice appears to be a leather belt studded with razor sharp metal barbs. Elvir sheepishly grads the cilice and ties it around his thigh, he wraps it tightly around his thigh, the metal barbs cut into his thigh, piercing the skin and immediately drawing blood

Zealot: “ I want you to brutalize someone, maim and hurt somebody. I want them to be put through physical and emotional hell, they will suffer at your hands.”

The camera slowly backs out of the tomb as we hear Elvir howling in pain

Fade to commercial.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: The Thin Line (Credit: Hunter / FSX)

23:34 Hours

Only about twenty-six minutes left until Wednesday comes over here. We're already about an hour behind schedule, but I suppose that's what happens when SOMEONE gets paranoid about his camouflage. But I suppose that's a story for another day. Right now I'm sitting on a plane and narrating this. I've got all of my gear in place, and this will be the first time that I will ever jump out of a plane...and if my parachute doesn't open, I'm screwed. Beside me sits a man of Asian descent named Fallen Souls, or FSX, or Fallen, or...you know, it doesn't really matter, when I address him or speak of him, you'll understand. This plane smells of vomit and death, the last thing thousands of other people have smelled before leaping out of a plane like I plan to do. The air is thick, and my friend is having some issues with that. As for myself, I am remaining perfectly calm and attempting to gather my energy for the difficult journey before me. The name is Andrew Hunter...and if I survive, I'll tell you more.

FSX: So how much longer?

Hunter: I reckon it'd be about ten or so minutes.

FSX: All right...yeah...

Hunter: Are you okay?

FSX: Oh I'm just peachy for a guy who's about to leap out of an airplane.

Hunter: Good.

FSX: That was sarcasm.

Hunter: I know. When you jump, think of something happy and close your eyes.

FSX: ...but then how will I know when to open the parachute?

Hunter: Uh...good point. Don't close your eyes.

FSX: So you still haven't told me what this mission is.

Hunter: I will. It's been well-orchestrated, and I think we can pull it off.

FSX: Why are you so confident?

Hunter: We DID cure cancer and abolish communism in Cuba.

FSX: Even though all of that got reversed...I should have had my way with her when I had the chance...

Hunter: ...who?

FSX: Uh...never mind.

I pause for a moment and strangely look at my partner for this mission.

Hunter: ...anyways, let's make sure this doesn't get reversed then.

I relax some more and lean back against the wall. We have only about five minutes before we jump. It's dawning on me that this will be intensely hard. Just then, the door to the pilot's cabin bursts open, and our pilot, code-named "Samuel L. Jackson" runs out.

Samuel L. Jackson: Holy shit, grab your stuff, we're jumping now!

FSX: Wait, why?

Samuel L. Jackson: There's motherfuckin' SNAKES on this motherfuckin' plane!

Hunter: Oh shit!

We all grab our stuff and quickly attach it to us in any way possible. I'm the first to the door, so I punch the button and watch in awe as the door slides open and gravity and wind start screwing with me, trying to pull me out. I turn around and see Samuel L. Jackson firing maniacally into the pilot's cabin, and then I know that I have no choice...but to jump.

Hunter: Woooooohooooooo!

The air feels astounding as I fly down through it. This must be how angels feel. Above me I hear Fallen's voice come crackling through.

FSX: YEAH!

He joins me in this jovial abyss, both of us flying together under the glass moon and for those immediate few seconds, being in a complete state of nirvana. And then the pilot's voice comes crackling through.

Samuel L. Jackson: FUCKIN'!

And then I see the plane falling above us, even beating us and flying directly past me. I see the snakes inside hissing at me viciously, and all I can do is give them the one finger salute as they come crashing into the Earth with an impenetrable crash of darkness and carnage. When I see that I am close enough, I pull the cord on my parachute and sigh, completely relaxed that I am now free to land anywhere on the ground below. I look above and see that FSX has also pulled his cord, and he is also safely floating to the ground. Samuel L. Jackson, on the other hand, is so preoccupied with other things that he does not have enough time to pull the cord. He flies down like a bullet and maniacally fires some of his own at the plane, despite the fact that it has already crashed.

Samuel L. Jackson: DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES!

And then I land calmly on the ground, hearing the loud sound of human flesh smacking into metal and searing from the power of the dark flames. I stand on the ground and take off my parachute, glancing around as FSX calmly lands beside me, following suite by taking off his own parachute.

FSX: Where's Samuel L. Jackson?

Hunter: ...you don't wanna know.

I see his eyes widen and I see him grab his gun, and I don't need another signal that something bad is happening behind me. I quickly move out of the way and watch as he fires at a lone snake in the sand, shuddering when it explodes in a mass of gore.

Hunter: Thanks.

FSX: I wasn't about to let you get killed by a snake...I mean, I don't even know why I'm here yet!

I take my first clear look around and see exactly what I knew I would see: sand and a barren wasteland that lacks life. Somewhere in the distance I hear gunfire and explosions, and there are brief flashes of light in that same direction.

FSX: Well? Now can you tell me what we're doing here?

Hunter: Yes. I received an assignment for a covert operation to save the entire world from experiencing true terror.

FSX: I see...so where are we right now?

Hunter: We are now in Iraq, and what you hear is the raging fire of the unnecessary Iraq War.

FSX: Makes sense. So what do we have to do that the other soldiers can't?

Hunter: We are on a seek and destroy mission. We must find a certain person who fled Afghanistan and is now, as our sources tell us, hidden somewhere in a cave here. Why he fled closer to the war, no one knows. But he did. Do you know who I speak of?

FSX: ...you mean?

Hunter: Yes. We are on the hunt for...

I pause for dramatic effect.

Hunter: ...Osama bin Laden. And we WILL find him. Are you with me?

FSX: HELL YES!

We both raise our rifles triumphantly. What I failed to tell him was that this mission is nearly impossible, which is why we were assigned to it by the IMF. And now we must trek through the desert for hours and hours, avoiding all enemy conflict, and try to find an almost non-existent cave that contains the most sought after terrorist in the whole world. But I do know one thing: we will find him...

...well, I can hope.

End.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Home sweet Home. (Credit: BK)

As the segment opens all members of the Corporate Alliance, including the newest member of the Corporate Alliance Dan White, are seen mingling in Ginger's office, probably thinking up some devious plan to take over ACW. In the midst of all this mingling the knob of Ginger's office can be seen turning. Quickly all 4 members turn their attention towards the door and to their suprise, BK London strolls in with his beautiful wife, Kiley Johnson, on his arm.

BK(sing-song): Guess who's back......back again!

Predator: SIR!!!

Predator runs up to his mentor and gives him a huge hug, BK unwillingly returns the manly embrace and then pushes Predator off of him.

BK: Ok Ok, that's it. You were messing up the brand new threads.

Predator: Sorry sir, It's just good to have you back.

Ginger: Indeed it is BK. Good to have you back on the Corporate side.

BK: It feels good to be back, it feels like I've never been gone. But I've been informed about everything done when I was ummm..."out of my element" and I'm hear to address those things. First thing's first....Dan White.

BK walks up to Dan, and Dan rises up from sitting on the edge of Ginger's table. The two commence in a staredown, Dan looking down just slightly at BK who is 2 inches shorter than he is. The two have been known not to get along in the past but BK extends his hand. Dan looks down at the attempt at a friendly gesture and extends his hand. The two share a handshake and now BK smiles.

BK: It's good to have you on our side Dan, we need someone like you with an accomplished status. I mean, you are the longest reigning Light-He- oh wait.

Dan:.....

BK high fives Jake.

BK: I'm just kidding Dan. Good to have you here..

Dan: It's good to be here, I plan to make the most of my stay.

BK: And I know you will. Next off...

BK releases Dan's hand and he turns to Jake, who is leaning on the other side of Ginger's table, filing his nails.

BK: Jakie boy!

Jake: Huh - What?!

BK: Jake....oh Jake. You know, I have to thank you for taking the initiative stepping up as leader of the Corporate Alliance. And even going as far as to recruit a new member, you really showed the world that you are more than just a humorous side kick. And for that, I'm proud of you.

Jake extends his arm for a handshake and BK accepts it.

BK: But uhh Jake, since I'm kind of back now, you think I can resume my position as leader of the stable.

Jake: Oh yeah yeah. I wasn't really feeling the position anyway, too much responsibility and work. Waay too much. I'm better off as the humorous side kick.

BK: Excellent. Now, I've got to prepare for a match tonight. I'll talk to you guys later.

BK walks towards the door and Kiley walks not too far behind him. He walks out the door with a satisfied smile and stops a few steps away from the exit and takes a deep breath.

BK: It's good to be back.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: ...A stinkface? (Credit: Yoko / Sarin)

Sarin, stunning in her somewhat skimpy wrestling attire, bounces on the balls of her feet, loosening her muscles for her upcoming match against Fallen Souls. Yoko, sitting down on a comfy couch, watches her prematch warmup routine with interest.

Yoko: You really are flexible, Sarin.

Grinning, Sarin turns her back to Yoko and bends over, keeping her legs straight and touching her toes. Yoko's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, and a small spittle of drool hangs from her mouth.

Sarin: Do you like that--

Voice: Ass? Not really. Too bony.

Sarin whips around, expecting BK London's smirking face. Instead, Fallen Souls greets her vision, Hunter standing idly beside him.

Sarin: My ass is not...bony!

FSX: I beg to differ. I wouldn't come near those knife-cheeks with an iron shield.

Sarin: Shut up, Fallen. You know you want to...touch me.

She turns around once again, and seductively begins to wiggle her hips. Yoko, Hunter, and Fallen enter a transfixed state, unable to move. After a few moments, FSX regains his senses.

FSX: I think I almost lost my lunch.

Hunter and Yoko roll their eyes.

Sarin: Whatever. I'll see you in the ring later.

FSX beckons Hunter to follow him, away from a scowling Flower Power.

Sarin: Can you believe those two? I'll teach Fallen Souls never to insult my ass again.

Yoko: Hmm...how about a stinkface?

Sarin: ...A stinkface? What's that?

Yoko laughs, draping an arm around Sarin's shoulder and steering her to their locker room.

Yoko: You may be the most gifted martial artist ever to hit ACW, but you have a lot to learn still about wrestling...

Sarin: Ugh, just tell me what it is!

Yoko: I'll tell you, but you're not going to like it.

Yoko tells Sarin what a stinkface was. She doesn't like it.

End Segment.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Just One Question (Credit: Tornado)

Tornado is striding down the corridor at high speed towards his locker room. He halts, hearing his name being shouted. He cocks his head, glancing behind him with a menacing look on his face. Charlotte comes sprinting down the corridor.

Charlotte: Tornado…Tornado…could I get a quick word with you?

She finally reaches the stationary figure of Tornado, panting for breath and red in the face. Her camera crew catches up with her moments later as Tornado scowls. He raises a solitary finger; signalling that she has one, and only one, question.

Charlotte: Thank you. Many people have been saying that tonight you are a minnow amongst the sharks and that--

Tornado brings his hand up, signalling for Charlotte to stop talking, she quickly complies. He scowls once again before beginning to talk.

Tornado: Minnow amongst sharks? Ok, I may be entering the squared circle with the current World Champ, a former World Champ, and a guaranteed future World Champ, you heard it here first folks, but I am anything but a minnow! I am THE NEXT BIG THING and when that bell rings – I will be the one getting their hand raised…you can bet on it!

Tornado storms off as we fade out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 3: Sarin vs. FSX (Credit: Sarin)

The fans anxiously await the next contest, eager to watch the lovely Sarin combat the more experienced Fallen Souls. The crowd cheers as Philip enters the ring; he acknowledges the cries with a slight nod, before bringing the microphone to his lips.

Philip: The following singles match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Seoul, South Korea, representing the Kings of Satire, Fallen Souls!

"Eden" by To Destination blasts on the PA system, signaling for Fallen Souls to make his grand entrance. Hunter follows behind, smirking, though making no attempts to steal the spotlight. They exchange a brief hand slap before FSX hops up to the apron and enters through the ropes. He mounts a turnbuckle and raises his arms high, receiving a fairly negative reaction from the crowd.

Soon, however, "Lady" by Lenny Kravitz replaces "Eden," and the crowd jumps to their feet, cheering wildly for Sarin to make her entrance. Philip has to fight to make himself heard over the roaring crowd.

Philip: And the opponent, from Okinawa, Japan, she is one-half of the ACW Tag Team Champions...Sarin Rossi!

Sarin slides into view, enticing the crowd to cheer even louder. Grinning, she pumps up her fans with her signature skywards finger point before making her way down the ramp, Yoko walking beside her, tag title and custom belt draped over each shoulder. Sarin happily slaps and shakes the hands of her many fans and admirers before briskly climbing the steps to the apron, entering lady-like between the bottom ropes. She shares a brief hug with Yoko before turning to face a steady FSX. The two circle each other, but refuse to take action until the bell rings.

Bell rings.

Sarin, freakishly patient, continues to circle Fallen, preferring to wait for her opponent to strike first. Confident in his ability to take down the much lighter Sarin, Fallen charges swiftly towards her, extending his arm out for a clothesline attempt. Anticipating such an attack, Sarin drops neatly to the floor, tripping FSX up in a drop toe hold. His chin crashing to the canvas, Fallen can only groan as Sarin cartwheels over to his prone body and reverses her cartwheel into a neat elbow drop, connecting to FSX's sternum. The air rushes out of his lungs, causing him to gasp for breath. Sarin hoists Fallen to his feet, pulling sharply on his right arm, trying to shove him to the turnbuckle. Fallen, however, remains firm, and the much lighter Sarin can't muster up enough strength to budge her opponent. Before she can release her grip, Fallen pulls her towards him and whacks her with a fierce clothesline. She topples to the floor, the back of her head greeting the mat roughly. As she writhes in pain, Fallen drops down beside her, hooking a leg for the first pin attempt.

1!

2--kick out!

Sarin's kick out is strong and fast; she elbows Fallen on the temple and handsprings to her feet, greeting the rising Fallen with a snap kick to the gut. Latching on to Fallen's hair, Sarin jumps backwards, pulling Fallen's face down to the canvas, landing with her legs spread open. FSX recoils at the impact of her facebuster, and Sarin allows him no breathing room. She raises a slender leg high into the air, almost forming a 180 angle with the floor, before bringing it down sharply on FSX's throat, landing in an appealing splits position. Yoko and the crowd pop wildly, and even Hunter grins, catching an eye-full of Sarin. Fallen groggily rises, and this time Sarin is successful in sending him flying into the turnbuckle. While Fallen rests dazed, Sarin steps a few feet back before handspringing back over to her opponent and delivering a powerful back elbow. The force of the impact knocks FSX off his feet. He flops down, resting now on the bottom turnbuckle. Sarin stops suddenly, standing quite still. She looks to the roaring crowd, looks at Hunter, looks at Yoko, then finally returns to FSX. She approaches his "lala-land" body, turns her back to his face, then without warning hoists up her short tights. Yoko gasps, realizing what she's about to do. The crowd catches on quick, and the cheers explode as Sarin delivers her rendition of the "stinkface."

After a few moments of rubbing her rear in Fallen's face, Sarin "relinquishes her hold," giggling profusely. Fallen, disgruntled--though otherwise intact--rises to his feet and connects a swift forearm to Sarin's cheek. FSX continues his assault with a rapid toe kick, followed by a powerful Fisherman's Suplex. Sarin clutches her back, gasping from the impact. Fallen grips a fistful of her hair and yanks her roughly to her feet, kneeing her swiftly to the gut. Fallen runs to the ropes, rebounds, and connects a high jumping scissors kick to the back of Sarin's neck (Silence Scissors Kick). Sarin collapses to the mat like a sack of bricks; the crowd moans in disappointment, though FSX smirkingly makes the cover...

1!

2!

3--kick out!