Monday Night Warfare 14th January 2008

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Monday Night Warfare 14th January 2008

Schedule of Matches:
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Ricky Falcon vs. Jin

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Silencio vs Phendo Nagasaki

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Rattlesnake vs Adrian Flamingo

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Jay Zero vs Jake Cheng

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Hunter vs Yin and Yang - ACW World Championship

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[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

***THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***

Happy Birthday Senator and Flamingo!

In honour of your successfully negotiating another year of being your excellent selves, here is a special guest with a traditional gift:



And now, on with Warfare. Don’t get crumbs on your keyboards, ok?

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Opening Segment: Making the Match (Credit: Jake Cheng)

No messing around tonight – we launch straight into the first scene, and Chairman Gingerdude’s office. Yet despite our timely arrival, several people have beaten us to it…

Jake: Ginger, these men aren’t wrestlers. You can’t book them.

Chairman Gingerdude is surrounded. The Quadrinity Jake Cheng towers in front of his desk, fists clenched on the table as if he was trying to push through it. And naturally Jake’s new bodyguards are there, Yin and Yang on opposite sides of Gingerdude’s chair. Trapped.

Jake: What the hell were you thinking?

Ginger: I...

Jake: I don’t care! I don’t like looking at the card and seeing my bodyguards wrestling for YOU! Making YOU money. This is complete bullshit!

Ginger: Cheng, listen to m-

Jake: No, Ginger you listen to me.

Jake breathes deeply, and in his head looks for a new argument to use against ACW’s Chairman.

Jake: Can’t you put in someone else?

Ginger: So what your saying is that-

Jake: I’M SAYING I WANT THEM OUT OF THE MATCH.

Gingerdude draws back after the backlash by Jake. He collects himself, straightens his tie and clasps his hands on his desk.

Ginger: Jake, I don’t think you realize what is going on here. And before you interrupt me with your angry banter, let me finish. Do you realize there is a stipulation on this match? One that involves the ACW World Championship?

Jake: You mean the one I blew up?

Ginger: Not the belt. The actual title of Champion.

Jake: Oh...so what happens if my guys win? Co-champions?

Ginger: Take a seat and we will talk.

Knowing he is winning, Jake sits down and the bodyguards retract themselves from Ginger’s side and Stand behind Jake as their boss makes a deal with Gingerdude. Co-champions? Two men that have never wrestled before? This could get interesting...

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Bodyguard Business (Credit: BK)

The life of a bodyguard, a life that's filled with the much needed excitement and adventure that some of us can only dream of. Think of it, getting paid to hang out with a celebrity AND beat down any person who poses a threat to them, it's like a dream come true.

But in actuality, it was nowhere near that glamorous.

The scene opens up outside Adrian Flamingo's locker room where Flamingo's 'Bodyguards for the Night' were positoned outside of his locker room. It was the traditional duo of Bruce and Tyrone, who usually found themselves protecting Gingerdude, but not on this particular night. Ginger lent them to Adrian as a request, knowing that it would probably best if he had his own security for the night with what happened in the last match on Meltdown last week. But both Tyrone and Bruce weren't exactly having the time of their lives. As they stood on opposite sides of the door, Bruce was seen cleaning his fingernails while Tyrone was picking a mean booger.

Within a few moments, a crew member seen holding several bags in his hands walked by, they finally saw their opportunity to make their evening a bit interesting.

Tyrone: ...hey hey hey, what are you doing?

Crew Member: I'm ju-I'm just d-

Bruce: Get over here.

Reluctantly, the 5'6" scrawny crew member made his way over to the duo who stood towering at about 7'.

Bruce: ...what you got there?

Crew Member: Jus-Ju-Just some take out.

Tyrone(mockingly): Ju-Ju-Ju-Just some take out! What's wrong with you kid? What's with all the stuttering huh? You scaaared?

Crew Member: I have t-t-t-SHIT-tourettes.

The crew member twitches, most likely involuntary.

Tyrone: ....oh. Well, umm, keep it moving!

Bruce: This isn't a cake walk, you heard the man!

The small crew member goes back on his way, but not before he is stopped again by Bruce and Tyrone.

Bruce: Wait wait wait, come back here....what's your name?"

Crew Member: ....Seth.

Bruce: Well listen here Seth, we're kind of hungry, so why don't you treat us to some food? We're on the hungry side..

Seth: Sure sure, I've got extras.

Bruce: Greeat great. Now we'll take those bags right there, and you get back to whatever you was doing, ok?

Seth: A-a-a-FUCK-alrighty!

Tyrone: Thanks Seth.

Seth scurries away.

Bruce: Nice kid there.

Tyrone: Great kid. Now let's eat.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Kids Shouldn't Go Into The Basement (credit: Phendo Nagasaki)

Our scene opens with ACW Interviewer Kevin Anderson, cameraman in tow, tiptoeing through what appears to be a darkened murky corridor deep in the bowels of the ACW Arena. The path is an ebony void, the only source of ambient lighting emanating from the spotlight attached to the camcorder. Anderson looks a bit uncomfortable, sweat beading upon his brow and traversing into his eyes. Anderson blinks slightly, dispersing the sweat and making an attempt at keeping his eyes adjusted to the mixture of lowlight and utter darkness ahead. Filthy water drips somewhere in the distance, possibly ricocheting off the surface of a larger pool of standing water, becoming unsettling amplified sound as it splashes in rhythmic horror. The scurrying uncouth claws of what are probably small rodents tap the concrete flooring in goose bump-inducing stereo, said rodents' squeals melding and creating a sickening wail that echoes off the cavern walls. Cobwebs adorn the granite walls, the carcasses of deceased insects stuck for eternity in the sticky solution. Anderson dodges a web dangling precariously from the eaves in the ceiling, knocking it down with his right hand, while continuing forward...and deeper into the abyss.

Anderson (a bit creeped out; stopping to talk to camera; low vocal tone): Kevin "scoop" Anderson here, the TOP interviewer in Alpha Championship Wrestling, and I am about to have another scoop, wrestling fans! What is it, you ask? The FIRST interview with the mysterious Phendo Nagasaki!

Cameraman (annoyed tone of voice; talking to Anderson): That's why we're down here, man? He told you to come down HERE to interview him?

Anderson (talking to cameraman while looking at camera): Well, not quite...he doesn't speak English. Engrish, maybe, but no English.

Cameraman (quizzical tone; talking to Anderson): So you spoke with his translator to set up an interview, right?

Anderson (uncomfortable tone; talking to cameraman through camera): Well, not quite...he doesn't have a translator.

Cameraman (really annoyed; quizzical but annoyed tone): .......You ain't got an interview, do you?

Anderson (cocky tone of voice; talking to cameraman through camera): I don't need to set up an interview, OK? Do you know who I am?

Cameraman (annoyed; talking to Anderson): Yeah - - the guy that's gonna get us killed in a nasty-ass basement!

Anderson (annoyed by cameraman's lack of faith; talking to cameraman via camera): Nonsense! Now keep quiet and just follow along. This' gonna be what my nickname suggest, buddy - - a real SCOOP! Now, are we still rolling live?

Anderson asks his question but the cameraman doesn't answer - - - because Phendo Nagasaki is slowly rising up from the floor behind Anderson! The cameraman begins stammering over his words as Phendo comes into view even more, his face right next to Kevin Anderson's right ear! The lack of lighting makes visibility a very weak option so all that can be made out is what appears to be a face adorned in Ivory face paint, dark-hued oriental markings and kanji placed on each cheek. His paint is absolutely symmetrical...which makes it absolutely scary! Phendo's eyes are shrouded in heavy shadow, his visage appearing sunken and weathered as an evil grin begins creeping across the assassin's face. As his eerily white teeth become the focal point of the shot, the cameraman begins shaking slightly through fear, the "Steady Shot" function of the camcorder the only saving grace for clear picture quality!

Anderson (annoyed; talking to cameraman through camera): Well....are we still rolling?

Cameraman (freaking out; trying to warn Anderson): I - Ah - We- - Ohmidamn - -Uhm - -

Anderson (real annoyed; talking to cameraman through camera): What is your problem, man?

Cameraman (beyond the point of freaking out; trying to warn Anderson): He-He-He--Behin- -

Anderson (finally understanding; pale as a ghost; talking to cameraman): He's right behind me, isn't he?

The cameraman nods....and Kevin Anderson looks to his right and is met with the evil smile of the assassin known as Phendo Nagasaki! Anderson and the cameraman begin freaking out in unison as Phendo puffs his cheeks out slightly and prepares to spew Asian Mist! Anderson ducks just in the nick of time - - the Asian Mist comes spewing out and plasters the lens of the camera! Anderson screams like a little girl as he and the cameraman begin running, the camera hitting the ground with great velocity! The camera lens is cracked and covered in poisonous liquid but is still rolling! The microphone is still live! All the viewing audience hears is Phendo breathing erratically and the descending footsteps of the fleeing cameraman and "Scoop" Anderson!


Phendo Nagasaki (no visual but a gruff voice; evil tone): Silencio.....your fate....is sealed! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Our feed quickly switches back to the ACW Arena and the stunned pairing of ACW Commentators Maxwell McNally and "Fast" Eddie Edison. Both men look a tad uncomfortable with what they just witnessed and it shows on their visage as they clamor for words to describe what they just saw.


"Fast" Eddie Edison (a bit creeped out): What in the world....?

Maxwell McNally (deciding to regain his composure): Let's, uh, get back to the action, shall we?

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 1: Ricky Falcon vs. Jin (Credit: Hunter)

The match started with a bang as both men charged in and began exchanging vicious strikes to gain the quick upper hand against the other. falcon got the early advantage with a swift elbow to the head, followed by an earth-shattering vertical suplex. He then kipped up and grabbed his opponent again, and this time grabbed him for an implant DDT. The Silent Assassin was too quick for him, however, and he promptly lifted him up and hit him with a Northern Lights Suplex. Once Falcon returned to his feet, he then promptly nailed him with the Jin Kick Combo, and then busted out his beloved Axe Kick. He then tried to lock in the STF, but no one can get THAT ahead, and so he was forcibly thrown to the side by Falcon. Falcon then got to his feet, and as Jin recoiled off the ropes back towards him, Falcon promptly nailed his opponent with a running clothesline.

Both men stayed down briefly after this spot, since naturally their previous efforts had taken a lot out of each of them. The fans applauded their efforts, and as they were cheered on by them, both men managed to further expand upon their assaults. After a few more minutes of mostly strike-related attacks, both of them switched over to a slower, grappler approach, as is customary in my too-many-adjectives, too-little-time match writing tactics. Falcon led off with a series of snap suplexes, but when he attempted to trick his opponent and throw him into a series of back suplexes instead, Jin managed to reverse. He managed to hit the Rolling Slicer, but when he attempted a pinfall, Falcon miraculously kicked out. Jin then climbed up to the top rope and leaped off for the Demon's Leg Drop, but Falcon managed to roll out of the way.

Both men stayed down for a bit, but naturally it was Falcon who rose first, he of the haven't-recently-been-knocked-the-fuck-out variety. As Jin gets to his feet, Falcon hits him with his favorite BARREL ROLL! and then proceeds to nail him with the Garmen Suplex. He does a few poses for the crowd, and then proceeds to lift Jin up for the Teardrop Suplex...but Jin manages to back flip out of it, lift Falcon up, and nail a surprising Teardrop Suplex of his own! He went for the cover...but NO it was not enough to pick up the victory, as Falcon managed to escape it at the two. Falcon recoils from the attack and starts to walk around groggily, giving Jin the opportunity to grab him in the sleeper position from behind. But Falcon is too clever, and he knows what this position will lead to, so he promptly elbows Jin in the side and throws him back to the ropes. When he turns around, he sees Jin midway through his Burning Elbow finisher...but he manages to duck, lift Jin up, and nail him with the Falcon's Fury! He covers him and manages to pick up the win in this quick paced starting match-up…

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Jin gets up from a hard fought battle, his body aches him as he staggers a little. Jin raises both arms in the air and is about to speak but Revolution Deathsqaud by DragonForce cuts him off as the fans breathe a sigh of relief. Jin's head darts to the entrance way as he walks over to the section of the ropes facing the entrance.

Out comes Silencio and his "posse", Juan Hildalgo and Tiny Gonzalez right at his side. Silencio is wearing a black t-shirt with a dark grey tiki logo on it with a black and grey bandana wrapped around his forehead and blue jeans with white sneakers. Hildalgo is wearing his usual attire, a white t-shirt with a black vest over it and black track pants with two white stripes going down both sides and flip flops....with socks. Gonzalez is wearing a Black no sleeve with black pants and black boots. Silencio and the two are smirking as Jin is yelling at them to get in the ring, but Hildalgo motions that they're staying right were they are. Silencio has a microphone in hand as does Hildalgo.

Silencio - Congrats on getting your ass kicked Jin!

Hildalgo - YEAH! YOU JUST GOT YOUR ASS KICKED!

Silencio turns to Hildalgo

Silencio - What have I been telling you for the past week? Stop repeating what I say!

Hildalgo - SORRY ADRIAN, I'M JUST TOO DAMNED EXCITED FOR THE ANNOUCEMENT AND JIN'S REACTION I'VE BEEN DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE.

"Fast" Eddie Edison - Annoucement?

Maxwell McNally - What does Silencio have up his sleeve?

Silencio - Well I guess I can't draw it out for long after YOU saying that...

Hildalgo - Oh please Mr. Emo Suicide just tell him the damned thing.

Silencio - I was going to!

Silencio clears his throat

Silencio - Now Jin, remember Winter's Discontent last month?

Hildalgo - YEAH! ADRIAN WIPED THE FLOOR WITH YOUR BITCH ASS!

Silencio - You know what?

Silencio swipes Hildalgo's mic away and throws it away

Silencio - You just lost mic privileges. Now, as I was saying, remember Winter's Discontent? When I beat you? Of course you remember, you debuted then. Now, you knew, I knew, and everyone else knew that it wasn't the only time we'll meet in the ring. And of course, we tagged with Libertines against Jonny Hughes and Andrew Starr on the first ACW shoe of Two Thousand and Eight!

And then you set it in stone Jin.

We could have won...I ALMOST pinned Hughes and won the match for us...but you decided that it wasn't enough to get the win, you wanted to get the pinfall. So you break up the pin and then spray mist into my eyes.

Then you cost us the match when Hughes got you.

But apparently you need to get some new mist since it didn't really effect me, I ended up kicking your ass after the match, but that wasn't enough for me, or for you I'm sure.

"Fast" Eddie Edison - What does Silencio mean?

Maxwell McNally - I don't know, but this can't end well.

Silencio - So how about this propasition Jin? At Ragnarok, you versus me, in a street fight match!

The crowd gets up to their feet and cheers in applause as not only does Silencio have a smile on his face, but Jin seems to crack a smirk as well. After a few moments when the crowd dies down, Jin nods in approval

Silencio - So then, I guess it's set huh? Oh, and Jin, one more thing.

Jin's expression turns from confidence to confusion

Silencio - Bring your little buddies...that's right, don't mistake me for a fool, I've seen Thunderkiss talking to you backstage about you in the Entourage, go ahead, bring Kiss, bring Zero, bring Starr, bring Richmond, I don't care. Cause ya see...

Silencio turns to both Hildalgo and Tiny

Silencio - I've got friends of my own. I have a mexican sterotype in Hildalgo over here--

Hildalgo - HEY!!

Silencio - AND, I have a Seven Foot six, Five Hundred pounds monster with Tiny over here. So go ahead Jin, get them all, it'll be one HELL of a match. See you later! I gotta get ready for my match!

Revolution Deathsquad hits the PA System as the fans start cheering. Silencio turns back and jogs to the back as Hildalgo imitates and Tiny walks to them. We see Jin looking at the three with a sick little smile, he apparently just can't wait for Ragnarok!

(OOC: Credit for post-match events go to Jin and Silencio.)

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: “Parsel Tongue” Credit: Rattlesnake/T-Kiss

[Arriving late to the arena, TK is relieved to see he isn’t the only one running behind tonight as he steps into a vacant Entourage’ locker room. Before he can even put away his bags, a knock comes at the door. Aggravated by the unexpected arrival of whomever is on the other side, Thunderkiss throws his belongings against a nearby wall and proceeds to the door. Ready to unload with “what do you want!?,” Thunderkiss yanks open the door only to find a most unexpected visitor.]

Thunderkiss: You!

[Rattlesnake bursts right through the door and in an uncharacteristic manner, TK takes a few steps back allowing him entry to the room. Now walking circles around TK, Rattlesnake begins to evoke fear out of him, the same fear he instilled upon him over a week ago.]

Rattlesnake: Hey Thunderkiss. Did you miss me? I know I missed you. It just hasn't been the same over the past few days. So how have you been? Seen any new "snakes" lately?

Thunderkiss: So you want to play games?! Well come on! Let’s play some games!

[Rattlesnake side steps and Thunderkiss goes sailing right past him into his bathroom. The Worldbreaker tries to put on the breaks but only manages to come to a stop when he trips on the room’s shower mat. As he angerly pulls himself up off the cold, dirty floor, he hears the sound of the bathroom door close behind him. Rushing to it, his intent is to open it back up so he can make a few snakes extinct. Unfortunately for the Thunderman, the door doesn’t give way like he expected it to and it is now apparent Rattlesnake has managed to lock it from the other side.]

Thunderkiss: So this is the best you have Snake? Locking me in a bathroom?! You’re pathetic!

[His hand gripping the doorknob tight, TK is just moments away from breaking the door of its hinges when he hears a strange hissing sound coming from beneath him. His eye shoots downward and what he sees instantly strikes fear deep into his heart for directly underneath him resides one of the world’s most dangerous animals - the cobra.]

Thunderkiss: Oh shit! NO!!

[The Cobra now completely slithers into the tiny bathroom and TK takes evasive action. Leaping up onto the wall like the “Amazing Spider-Kiss,” TK plants himself there with hands and feet. Seeing his leaping motion as a threat, the Cobra bucks up and now rears its head toward the Thunderman causing his heart to beat straight out of his chest!]

Thunderkiss *screaming*: Get that thing away from me!

[Just outside the door the Twin Snakes take much pleasure in TK’s pain. Wishing to rub as much salt into his wounds as possible, they begin to torment the Worldbreaker.]

Rattlesnake: What’s a matter Thunderkiss ...

Thunderkiss *screaming*: HEEEEELP! ZERO! RICHMOND! SOMEBODY!

Cobra: .... I thought you liked to deal with snakes?

Thunderkiss: You crazy son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you!

[Thunderkiss concentrates on keeping himself stable so he doesn’t slip off the wall. The cobra begins to move closer toward him, hissing with every inch. Knowing full well that if he remains in the same position he’s done for, Thunderkiss takes one deep breath and decides to fight. With his big boot as his weapon of choice, he leaps off the wall targeted t he cobra’s head.]

Thunderkiss: ARGH!

[The Worldbreaker drives his massive boot right into the Cobra’s face, stunning it in the process. Injured, it now tries to slither away but doesnt get far as TK brings his whole body down on top of it and begins to mash away on it!]

~!~CRUNCH~!~

[Afraid to look down, Thunderkiss can only imagine what the floor must look like. The visions in his head are enough for him to drive him from this room using any means necessary. Running full force, he smashes straight through the door in the same manner that the Incredible Hulk goes through walls. Landing on his hands on knees, his head jerks up and scans the room for the Twin Snakes but finds nothing but an empty room. Rolling onto his back, Thunderkiss doesn’t pursue Rattlesnake and just lays on the floor so that his heart and can calm itself.]

Thunderkiss: God, I *HATE* snakes!

[And then like the calvary at Custer’s Last Stand, help finally arrives.]

Jay Zero: Holy shit...[/color]

Andrew Starr: What the hell happened in here?!

Thunderkiss *yelling*: Where the FUCK were you guys?!

[FADE]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Wallow in your crapulence (Credit: BK)

We return to the scene of outside Flamingo's locker room where Bruce and Tyrone continue to stand, but from what we see - Tyrone doesn't look too good.

Tyrone: Ugghh...I shouldn't have had that sweet & sour pork.

Bruce: You ok man?

Tyrone: Ugghh, I'm just going to go to the bathroom for a second - I'll be right back.

And with that, Tyrone grabs his stomach and heads down the hallway towards the rest rooms. Upon reaching the restroom, he discovers that it's locked - that's when the Janitor seen in a random Gooey segment passes by.

Janitor: That bathroom's under rennovation, you're going to have to use the single stall down the hall.

Tyrone: FUCK...thanks.

Janitor: Yup

Tyrone races down the hall towards the single stall bathroom and opens it up, and realize's that it's not exactly the cleanest bathroom. Smelling like urine, graffitti on the wall, an overflowed sink filled with toilet paper are just a few of the traits to this overgrown cesspool.

Nonetheless, Tyrone is desperate and he shuts the door and sits down. Following the sounds of flatulence and splashes in the water, and the ocassional "HOT HOT HOT HOT!", Tyrone let's out a sigh of relief. Just then he can hear the door locking from the outside.

Tyrone: Hello?

He tries to open the door but to no avail. The camera pulls out to a much wider shot and we see the culprit behind the locker door is none other than BK London, which gets a huge pop from the crowd.

BK: Enjoying it in there Tyrone?

Tyrone: BK! Let me out!

BK: Nah, might as well let you wallow in your own crapulence.

BK chuckles.

BK: I crack myself up.

Tyrone: BK! This isn't funny! Let me out!

BK: No, it's not funny. What's funny is that you have no toilet paper?

Tyrone indeed looks over and all he sees is the brown cylindrical roll left from the toilet paper.

Tyrone: ...I'LL KILL YOU!

BK: Hehehe, better learn to use your fingers there buddy.

BK makes his way down the corridor, pulls out his notepad and checks a name off.

BK: One down, two to go.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Issues (credit: Senatorial Stable)

The show returns from the break to a packed Senatorial locker room, everyone is gathered around the main seating area, seemingly awaiting something to happen. The Senator is the only member who is not seated, indicating that they are about to have, or are in the process of having a stable meeting. It isn't hard to sense the tension in the room, Hunter and Jonny Hughes are fretting over their respective title situations, Ricky Falcon is stressing over his contract with Man Ager, in fact every member has their own respective issues to deal with and a stable meeting is a good way to air ones frustrations and get a different perspective on one's problems.

The Senator: Right, without further hesitation let us get this underway. I understand that we all have our own respective issues and grievances so I called you all here so we can all discuss them and get some advice from those of us who have the benefit of experience. If nothing else, it is good to share our ACW troubles amongst ourselves, to ensure that we are on one page.

Hunter: Well, I've had a few days to think about it, and I've come to the conclusion that the slow way is the best way.

Senator: ...slow way is the best way for what?

Hunter looks at the Senator as if he just attempted to prove that grass is not green.

Hunter: To kill Jake, obviously.

FSX: Well maybe he was right, Hunter. You know..with the whole 'taking the title too seriousl--

Hunter: Don't speak.

FSX: Well, anyway, I'd suggest poison in his sle--

Hunter: I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK! I'M THE WORLD FUCKING CHAMPION!

FSX: ...yeah, see, you don't need the title to be an egotistical douche. In fact, you've been one all along!! And Freeman, you've had a heart all along! Let's not forget Falcon...you've had a brain all along, my friend!

Hunter: I will cut you.

Senator: Gentlemen, enough bickering.

Hunter: Right, well...either way. I have no idea how it is that that motherfucker got Ginger to agree to make me face those two little assholes of his, but no matter, I'll win anyways. And when I'm done with them, I'll come for him. NOTHING will hold me back when I finally get my hands around his stupid fucking throat!

Senator: Very well, Hunter. Albeit excessive. What about you Mister Hughes?

Hughes: I have meticulously planned my next course of action which will have been set in motion by the end of the evening. Andrew Starr will learn that his actions are governed by circumstance and that these circumstances are under my control. He damaged something important to me and I will respond in kind by damaging something important to him.

Senator: Excellent and I looked into getting the damages repaired and your title will be restored to its former glory in no time.

Hughes: Thank you very much.

Falcon: Well everyone, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a way to get out of my contract with Man Ager. Or else it may be the end of my career.

FSX: Hmmn...you know, if you wanted I could get Will to come in and mana--

But before FSX can make an even worse suggestion, Ricky stands up and leaves the room to go ponder a way out of his contract.

Freeman: And I know one thing...Alex Richmond is not going to be getting away with what he did to me. I was finally going to beat Thunderkiss, and what does he do? He screws me over! That was my moment, and now it's gone. But you know what? Next week...it WILL be my moment. Because I have an International Championship match, and I'm going to make sure to bring that title back to the stable. Right now...I'm not exactly at 100%...but as soon as I'm ready, I'm going to let Alex Richmond know that I have NOT forgotten about him.

FSX: Well...you know, I was kinda hoping to bring the International Championship back to the stable. I mean, after all, it's not like I've got anything better to do than make others rue the day they crossed my path. May as well have a shiny little gold trinket at the same time. Then I can grow to be like Hunter!

Hunter: In the awesome sense?

FSX: ...Yeah, that's what I meant. Yup. Awesome.

Senator: Well I think this has been a very productive gathering. Now I'm sure we all have things to prepare for tonight and I think now is as good a time as any to call an end to proceedings here.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment:BK London....No problem (Credit: Libertines)

Fade in

A quick video of BK London is shown for the Warfare crowd. The video was showing highlights of BK winning all the belts but about ten seconds in it was cut off. The only thing left on the screen was the number 78. As the camera zooms out you can see the libertines who has a smile on his face, a smile that can light up from here to Tampa Bay.[/i]

Libertines: I know what you people are thinking of. “Why was that lame video pulled down?” Well let The Libertines say this. Who cares about BK London? I mean he just became another victim to the great Libertines path of desecration I mean sure BK has been beat, but he has never been beat down that bad. The Libertines left him a shell of his formal self in his own bloody mess. I will be shocked if he ever wrestles again. Let The Libertines put it in a way so you people can understand how shocked the libertines would be if BK ever wrestles again. Ok I would be less shocked if he never steps foot in the ring again. If you people missed the massive beat down that was handed to BK on meltdown lets go back to the tape.

….but once BK reaches Libertines. Libertines blinded BK with a thumb to the eye…..and Libertines pushes him face first into the ring post.

The Libertines: Oh The Libertines remembers that one I can’t believe BK was still able to walk after that painful move I mean I got a little shocked after he was able to move after that. I gain a little respect for him I mean any other ordinary man would’ve been injured or maybe even dead after a move like that. Ok on to the next clip.

Libertines stomps away at the former ACW Heavyweight Champion and then blatantly chokes him in front of the referee.

The libertines: This is what happens when you step in the ring with The Libertines for more then five minutes. no surprise next clip.

BK is beginning to get up, but he is sent right back down to the mat with a vicious kick to the abdomen

The Libertines: Once again not a surprise. I wanted to see how long it would take for BK to get up. I counted 5 seconds by this time I was toying with him. Next clip!

Libertines ascends to the middle rope and now connects with what he dubs 'Justice Served

The Libertines: Well that should’ve been the ending to the match but I swear the ref was taken like ten seconds for every count. So it was only a two count but in reality it was like a 28 second count. Next clip!

Libertines scores with a Russian Leg Sweep off the apron.

The Libertines: Ok as you can see BK is dead, but because I’m such a nice guy I helped him back into the ring so he wouldn’t get counted out. Next clip!

Libertines hooks BK and scores with the Big Ben Driver

The Libertines: OK many people don’t know this but the Libertines helped BK kick out. So I should’ve won right there and then. Ok now the next clip is the final clip and that is me beating BK and yeah I left him in a pool of his own blood. Ok so Next clip!

Libertines barely over BK as the ref counts for the three count. All you can see is BK left with a pool of blood After The Libertines leaves the arena.

The Libertines: Ok so now you see why The Libertines is the greatest wrestler in ACW history BK did not get one move off of me in that whole match. I mean for being known as one of the greatest world champs in the history of ACW he sure was nothing. So I just want to know who can The Libertines face next. Well you know what the answer to that is? The answer is nobody because no one and I mean no one can lay a finger on me in the ring. I will face anyone on meltdown this week and I mean anyone. Yes I’m leaving an open challenge to anyone. Why? Because I’m cool like that.

Fade out

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 2: Silencio vs Phendo Nagasaki (Credit: Jonny Hughes)

Here we are for a match between two of ACW’s hottest newcomers, well we’ve not seen anything of Phendo Nagasaki to indicate that he’s anything special but he does possess the one thing that sets him apart from your run of the mill wrestler, an ACW contract. So without further hesitation let’s get this action underway.

Silencio took a quick early advantage by dropping Nagasaki with a few quick Japanese arm drags that only seemed to anger Nagasaki who smashed Silencio in the face with a stiff forearm that caused Silencio to stumble awkwardly towards the ropes, Nagasaki keeps on top of his opponent with a swift headbutt followed up by a vertical suplex that Nagasaki followed up with a lateral press for the pin attempt that only garnered him a two count. Nagasaki continues his domination by hitting a combination of dragon screws and a shin breaker. Silencio is clearly favouring his right knee, giving a sign that Nagasaki’s tactic of wearing down his vertical base is clearly working. Nagasaki stalks his opponent, waiting for him to get to his feet before charging at him for a lariat attempt that Silencio manages to roll under. Silencio then waits for Nagasaki to turn back towards him before hitting the Silent Shift and dragging himself over Nagasaki to get a count of two and a half.

Silencio gains some measure of control over his opponent by hitting three dragon screws, the third of which is swiftly transitioned into an STF, unfortunately the ring positioning for this move is not the best and Nagasaki manages to pull himself towards the ropes and forces Silencio to break the hold. The pair both make their way to a vertical base, Silencio does so with greater difficulty than his opponent, and start exchanging strikes, Nagasaki gets the upper hand by simply hitting harder than Silencio, he presses the advantage by firing off multiple stiff forearms before kicking his opponent in the solar plexus, he quickly hooks the leg of Silencio and hoists him in the air for a Shin Breaker which Silencio spots and quickly shifts himself mid-air and slips behind Nagasaki, he takes full advantage of the element of surprise he has and hits the Lungblower. Silencio quickly lifts Nagasaki to his feet and hooks the arms, signalling for the Silence of the Lambs. Nagasaki senses the inherent danger and quickly twists his way out of the hold before spraying Silencio with the Poison Mist, a surprise that he quickly follows up with a Burning Lariat that turns Silencio inside out. Nagasaki covers Silencio…

ONE…

TWO…

Thr-Kickout by Silencio.

Nagasaki doesn’t waste any time and grabs the legs of Silencio before locking in the Gorilla Clutch, he manages to turn over Silencio who manages to quickly escape the hold by forward rolling, he quickly gets to his feet and waits for Nagasaki to turn to face him before kicking him in the midsection and quickly executing the Silence of the Lambs which is enough to get a pinfall victory.

Winner: Silencio via pinfall.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: "1-26-08 - Part 3" Credit: T-Kiss

[Who would have ever guessed the soul of one mortal with a bad attitude would be greatly valued by the two opposing factions that make up the afterlife? Thunderkiss sure didn’t, and its his soul that hangs in the balance! Pleading with Jashin (a demon who he sold his soul to five years ago), Thunderkiss has managed to get himself another five year extension. However, before he can sign his name to the dotted line, Xio’Zel (an angel that has been sent from heaven) arrived offering him the following alternative. For the cost of becoming one of God’s personal servants here on Earth, Thunderkiss will receive a huge power boost and eternal salvation. Now while a rational person would choose Xio’Zel’s offer in a heart beat, one has to realize that Thunderkiss is anything but. Still trying to understand the angel’s offer, Thunderkiss tries to give the situation clarity.]

Thunderkiss: So you want me to be an angel?!

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel: Foolish man, not an angle, but a mortal that does the bidding of thy King whilst his time here on Earth.[/glow]

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: AKA a lacky![/glow]

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel: Quell your tongue beast! We are all servants of thy Lord, even you. [/glow]

[Its easy to see how one could be taken aback by coming face to face with an angel. However when the said angel could easily pass for a super model and you have a sexual libido the size of the grand canyon, the end result may resemble that of a inebriated dog in heat. Not even registering what Xio’Zel has just said, Thunderkiss leans in closer to her and asks -]

Thunderkiss: So tell me, are they all as beautiful as yourself up in heaven?

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: Don’t let her looks fool you Thunderkiss! If its pleasure you seek, you will find none with her or her “kind.” However ...[/glow]

[Walking toward Thunderkiss, Jashin’s demon like body begins to morph into that of a human. With each step he continues to change until he resembles a beautiful female, the very same one that lead TK into this mess to begin with.]

Rei: ...with me, your pleasure will be limitless.

[“Rei” places her hands on TK’s shoulder and leans in to kiss him. Repulsed, Thunderkiss yanks away from “Rei” and puts his hands up so he can barricade himself from this parade of lies.]

Thunderkiss: Ew! How stupid do you think I am?! You think I’m going to fall for that trick again after I’ve already seen what you really are?! There is no way in hell I would touch you now.

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel *laughing*: Ask him how pleasurable it will be when he has you dangling upside down from barbed wire, sucking the marrow straight out of your bones just like he does to everyone else who’s “deals” he cashes in on. [/glow]

[“Rei’s” eyes glow red as she grows tired of the angel’s inference. One moment later “her” body twists and bends in directions it shouldn’t as she/he/it reverts back to its demon form.]

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: Enough! Listen Thunderkiss, don’t be a fool. If you want to go with this deceiver, go ahead, but do know this: from here on out you’ll nothing but a shell of your former self. No longer will you answer to yourself, you will have to answer to another. Your life will become someone else’s -[/glow]

Thunderkiss: Just how in another five years it will become yours?

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin *smirking*: At least you get five years of freedom by choosing me. The alternative would be an eternity of servitude starting the very moment you accept that harpies offer, if you’re stupid enough. I know you Thunderkiss, more than anyone else in the entire world and beyond. It goes without saying that her realm is no place for a man like yourself.[/glow]

[Thunderkiss shifts his eye back toward the angel and awaits her counter response. Strangely enough she doesn’t give him one as she defiantly folds her arms together over her chest and responds - ]

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel: I shall not waste my time any further in this matter. I have already made my offer mortal, I need say no more.[/glow]

Thunderkiss: Do I have time to think this over?

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel: I shall give you until midnight on your 30th birthday, the moment your original deal with this demon expires. Be warned, you shall receive no more time to dwell on this offer from me[/glow].

[TK looks back over to Jashin and raises his eyebrow expecting to hear his response to his question.]

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: At the dawn of midnight on that very midnight our original offer will expire and I will allow you no more than 10 seconds afterwards to either accept or decline our new agreement.[/glow]

[glow=blue,2,300]Xio’Zel: Until that moment arrives Aiden, I bid thee farewell.[/glow]

[And with that, Xio’Zel exits in a more dramatic fashion than which she entered. The room fills with white light until it is unbearable for TK to keep his eye open. As he tightly holds it shut, a loud boom causes his ears to ring in a most unpleasant manner. It isn’t until the ringing ceases that Thunderkiss opens his eye. Xio’Zel is gone, however the same cannot be said for Jashin. Looking considerably less impressed and even a bit bored, the demon leans himself up against a nearby wall while he cleans his long, pointy teeth with his flickering tongue. Taking notice that TK has recovered from the unearthly exit of his counterpart, Jashin now takes his turn in saying goodbye.]

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: Don’t make a choice you’ll regret for the rest of your existence Thunderkiss. Even before you opened your soul to me, you know deep down that you were never destined to walk in the light -[/glow]

[Jashin pauses for a moment and raises his hand into the air. As he does so, blackness fills the room as if he has perhaps opened a void leading directly to the nether realm. Instead of ringing, TK’s ears now pop as all the air in the room, including that which resides in his lungs, gets sucked toward the portal.]

[glow=red,2,300]Jashin: - for the blackness of hell is your true home.[/glow]

[Jashin steps inside the void and within a blink of an eye it vanishes. Immediately TK falls to his knees and begins to gasp for air until he returns to normal. Though his body feels better, his mind certainly does not. In less than two weeks he will be faced with the most important decision of his life time. Does he go the divine route? Oh yes, he’ll be granted more power but at what cost? Is he truly a man who can carry out the will of God? And what if he remains with Jashin? Another five years of freedom and the demon’s powers will be at his disposal, but he know all too well one day Jashin will come to collect. Indeed these are not easy questions nor easy times for the Worldbreaker. Summing up his current situation and life in general, Thunderkiss shrugs his shoulders and mutters to himself - ]

Thunderkiss: Well, shit.

[END]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Have a nice trip, see you next fall (Credit: BK)

It's been about 15 minutes now and Tyrone still hasn't returned, Bruce is beginning to get worried. Over the past two years they have been stationed together, they have developed a bond - a brotherly bond - and it's almost like a sixth sense when Bruce realizes that something's wrong.

He thinks to himself "Maybe I can just run down to the bathroom real quick before Flamingo notices I'm gond, just to check on Tyrone". And within seconds, he's very briskly making his way down the corridor. Once he comes to the end, he notices a sign at the crossroads with an arrow pointing left saying:

MALE RESTROOM BROKEN
USE RESTROOM AT THE END OF THIS HALLWAY
<=============

He figures this will lead him to Tyrone.

He couldn't be more wrong.

Bruce races down the hallway at an even faster pace, and just as he reaches in front of the bathroom where Tyrone is trapped in - he feels the ground just jerk from under him. Within seconds he finds himself 12 feet under the ground in some sort of pit. After making his way up very gingerly, holding his posterior, he looks up and sees BK London looking down at him.

Bruce: BK! YOU SON OF A BITCH

BK: ..and you're stuck in a ditch. Funny, huh?

Bruce: BK LONDON! GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!

BK: And why should I huh? Give me one good reason why I should.

Bruce: Because if you don't I'll kick your ass!

BK: From down there? Riiiight. Not a good enough reason. You know, I actually concocted this plan after watching an episode of Pokemon with my daughter. Who knew that you'd be fooled by a trick on a children's TV show?

Bruce: BK LONDON!

BK: Listen, I'm going to get out of here now, I've got one more person to meet tonight. But if you need someone to talk to, Tyrone is just a few feet above you. Conversate my good men.

BK walks away while checking another name on this list, and the camera returns back to the two imbeciles.

Bruce: Tyrone?

Tyrone: Yeah...

Bruce: ...never eat chinese again, I can smell it from all the way out here!

The two continue arguing from their respective tombs as the scene fades out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: News Clippings
(Credit: TK, Senator)

In response to the recent incident between Thunderkiss and Senator Steve Phillips on the steps of the US Capital building, the news media, as they often do, went wild in overcovering the event. ACW graciously has compiled a number of these news clippings for your viewing and reading enjoyment...

Hannity and Colmbs, Fox News

Alan Colmbs: Looking at that footage, I have to wonder if that is what our political system is headed towards. You have Jessie Ventura and Arnold Schwartzenegger elected to gubanatorial positions, and Steve Phillips is now a two term member of the Senate...could it be that this is what the majority of people want to see? Do they want to see Washington turned into a three ring circus?

Sean Hannity: Alan, if you're trying to say that this "Thunderkiss" guy is represenative of American politics, I can't help but say that you couldn't be further off base, I think that the majority of the people in this country, when they do pay attention, they do want to see serious candidates, and serious debates. They want to elect strong leaders who care about the causes they care about. Although, then again, with Hillary Clinton's recent primary victory, who knows?

Colmbs: You can't be seriously comparing Senator Clinton to that professional wrestler! You're comparing a publicity stunt to the front runner in the Democratic primary!

Hannity: In any case, I think I would rather fight "Thunderkiss" in a steel cage than I would Hillary...

Wolf Blitzer, CNN

Wolf Blitzer: They call them the “Kiss Army,” devoted followers of professional wrestling sensation Thunderkiss. What started as a small group of individuals on the internet has now escalated into a cult like following with millions of people worldwide claiming to be members. Hailing from all walks of life, its not a stretch to say that all watching this program right now can most likely be connected to this “army” one way or another. From the rich and the poor to the black and the white - “thundermania” knows no bounds nor does it claim any. While political insiders laugh at Thunderkiss’ Presidential announcement and pass it off as simply as publicity stunt, the Kiss Army is organizing itself to do just what their hero has done countless times himself, and that’s prove the naysayers wrong. Today, our own Nicole Lapin caught up with some of these individuals to find out just why they believe Thunderkiss can become the nations 44th President.

CNN INTERVIEW ONE

Nicole Lapin: What makes you think Thunderkiss would make a great President?

Teenaged Male Thundermaniac: Hey man, Thunderkiss knows what’s up man. He’s like, got all the answers and stuff. If I had a dad I would want him to be like Thunderkiss, dude.

Nationally syndicated editorial page excerpt: Susan Estrich

On a related note, anyone who has watched the cable news channels over the last day or so has seen the incident involving a professional wrestler going by the name of "Thunderkiss" attempting to stage a publicity stunt with the presidential primaries as a background. Many have noted the crass tendencies of his followers, and their violent behavior, but what is truly disturbing is the misogynistic streak that "Thunderkiss" promotes. Not only do his words create a hostile environment for any woman not wishing to be treated as an object, but his very actions demonstrate the very worst aspects of the male gender. A few decades back, an individual such as him would have been rightly referred to as a male chavinist pig, or a Neanderthal, but that would be demeaning to our common ancestors.

To be continued…