I don't ask for much, but this would mean a lot

[chengling]

I consider this one of my more special segments. It'd be nice if I could get some feedback.

alphacw.proboards34.com/index.cgi?board=worldwide&action=display&thread=1173880094&page=1#1173962254

[starkweather]

I'll not comment due to the Anti-Squabbling Act of 2007.

[chengling]

Love ya too, Emeril.

[jonnyomega]

I find it scary that I opened this to read whilst listening to Damien Rice's new album.

I liked it, a lot. The use of lyrics gave it a good realistic feel and I could actually picture the images you were describing, it's a very artistic video package for wrestling but I think it comes off well.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

I'm impressed at the way you fitted that segment together. The "running backwards" idea can easily be flawed if it hasn't been thought through properly, you did an excellent job of making it coherent. It kind of reminds me of Coldplay's "The Scientist" video.

I thought the choice of lyrics was good, though I confess I haven't actually heard the song they're taken from.

For me, the most powerful part was the ending, and the implication that Kristen's future could be changed; when I first started reading the segment I wasn't sure if the imagery would be meaningful or simply intended to be dramatic without having a genuine justification (I've read a lot of segments that do veer into that territory, and written a few as well). But the final "images" have an emotional core because of what's preceded them, and as such for me the whole thing is validated.

So, yes, I think this is a very good segment, well constructed and making good use of the techniques employed.

[jonnyomega]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOXMiHh8isg

That is the song in question. I think it fits the events very well

[VorteX]

Does it start out going forwards and then shift backwards? It seems that if it time would be going completley backwards then it should start out with nothing but a bathtub filled with red water. The rest of it seems to fit well together though.

[chengling]

I had thought about making the whole thing running backward, but it was kinda hard to convey the whole tension of the opening scene with just the written word.