Post by The Feature Presentation on Feb 27, 2006 15:39:04 GMT -5
Three Different Promos For You To Rate
Segment: Challenges, Insults, and Respect
(Credit: RDK, Senator)
Coming back from the break, Steve Phillips is in the ring, with microphone in hand.
The Senator: Ok, I have business to take care of, so I want to keep this nice and short and to the point. Mr. Randy Dallas Kanyon, I challenged you to a match, and am awaiting an answer. I do not have all night here to get a...
Suddenly, "Macho Man" plays over the PA system, and RDK makes his triumphant appearence in the ACW Arena. He strides down to the ring, slapping his fans' hands along the way. Once in the ring, both men stare each other down, until the Senator finally speaks.
Senator: Thank you for gracing us all with your prescence, Mr. Kanyon. Now before I hear your answer, I would just like to say two things, first, that I appreciate that you have taken my associate, Santiago under your wing, and two, that I have a great deal of respect for your abilities, no matter what problems that we have. Now then...
RDK: Now then, brudah, if you'd let me speak, I'd like to say a few things myself.
Senator: Excuse me, I was not finished...
RDK: These Machomaniacs want to hear me, not some suit wearing jabroni, and that's what they're gonna get!
OoOoh Yeeah!
Senator: Mr. Kanyon, I have had about enough! You are only reminding me of why I seem to keep having problems with you. You are obnoxious...
RDK: And you're a jackass...
Senator: Aargh! You know what really eats at me when I see you?
RDK: I really don't care what eats at you, brudah...
Senator: Too bad, 'cause I am going to let you know regardless! Everytime I see you, I see a tremendous waste of raw potential. You could have been so much more than just a popular champ around here, you could have left a true mark on the industry! Instead of focusing on honing your trade, and expanding your in ring skills, you would rather spend time working on your little speeches, and on your ridiculous poses!
RDK strikes a muscle pose, much to the delight of his millions, and millions of fans.
Senator: You see, that is the perfect example! You care more about garnering cheers from the crowds, getting them to yell and clap for every word you speak, when you could bring them to their feet instead with a brilliant performance! You could have been an unparalleled success, and a true mat legend, but instead, you have settled for the adoration of your fan base, and have been perfectly content to rest on your laurels!
RDK: Now brudah, I hear you flapping your gums over there, and you say that I've been content to be what I am, but looking at you...I see someone who hasn't won the ACW title, failed at trying to do so, always seems to blow the big matches, and lost control of his own Stable in the past!
Senator: Hey! You want to talk about running a stable, what ever happened to your Nation of Somethingation? Where did your teammates go?
RDK: Hey, wasn't my fault they left, and I seem to remember that we were WAY more popular than your Stable ever will be! You want a piece of the Macho Man, I'll accept your challenge! SO it's gonna be...the rootin' tootin', wrestling style is shootin', YOUR MOMMA'S LATE, POLITICAL DEBATE...THE MATCH IS GONNA OCCUR, HIS NAME IS THE SEN-A-TOR!...VERSUS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION, THE MACHO MAYUN R-D-KAYYY!!!! BLOODY VALENTINE!
Senator: Great! That is exactly what I wanted to hear. Despite the fact that you seem to raise my blood pressure, and that we take diametrically opposed views on our ways of wrestling, I know that you can bring it should you be motivated to do so, and I will be pleased to face you. We may not always see eye to eye...
RDK: That's for sure...
Senator: But I still know that you will be one heck of an opponent. Shake?
RDK looks to the audience, who give him a mixed response, and pauses for a moment, but then reaches out and shakes the Senator's outstretched hand. Both men nod for a moment, and release amicably. RDK goes back to the outside, giving his fans high fives, while the Senator simply walks back to the entranceway.
Fade Out.
-----------------------------------------------------
RDK is the winner, but his mood hasn’t improved; in a rage at the dispute, he picks Hunter up by the head and then throws him over the top rope. Hunter lands on the outside taking a hard bump. RDK then walks to the other side of the ring, pointing at a worker to give him a mic. The worker immediately responds by searching for one and handing it to the macho man, being scared of him at the moment for he has a very angry face on. RDK raises the mic in the air and then lifts his head up to speak into it...He then also uses his other arm to point at Hunter who is trying to get on his feet on the outside, clutching his title that has now been given to him.
RDK: --Now what just happened? YOU KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED! The Macho Man came out here, and proved a point. The Macho Man can STILL step into the ring and show even the "best" in the business whos boss. This man, is not a champion...
The camera switches over to a close up of Hunter's sweaty face as he clutches the championship. He does not appear amused. The camera then switches back to RDK in the ring.
RDK: Now the macho man doesn't know why, but there is alot of fuckin' hatred in his veins right now. Paranoia, anger, it doesn't matter. The Macho Man needs to blow some fuckin' steam...
RDK then drops the mic and tenses up before making a swift movement, chopping one of the ring's ropes in two. The now loose ropes hang from the turnbuckles. RDK breathes heavily, his arm red, but his face sure. The impact is so great that his arm begins to show signs bleeding. RDK appears to be either unaware of it or ignorant though, he appears pissed.
RDK: Who am I kidding, I have been paying attention, theres been big chain of events that have happened here tonight, and there is no fucking way The Macho Man could be left out. It appears that I am now the next chain, but the mach of all mach doesn't play that game brudahs. I am sick and tired of the bullshit I've been through, tonight I am going to take it out on someone....whether it be you...
RDK points towards Hunter...
RDK: ...You...
RDK points at Edison...
RDK: ...Or even you...
RDK points to a fat kid in the crowd.
Fat Kid: Me?
RDK: No brudah you ain't a mach, just have another nach. OoOoh Nooooo!
RDK snaps at the kid and then points at him and he then obeys by continuing to stuff nachos in his fat face...
RDK: -BUT BRUDAHS....I've been born a rambling man, so I'm going to ramble on, the steam is a flowing, this show needs a goin'! First off, The Macho Man is sick and tired of this bull shit. Hunter, I defeated you just a few weeks ago, and where is my title match brudah? WHERE IS MY TITLE MATCH? Instead you give me this match tonight, with no title on the line. Brudah I don't go for that, and frankly think you should set your priorities straight if you think your ready for the next level. If you can't truly beat the mach one more time for that title, then retire brudah, just retire.
Hunter by now is on his feet and is brushing off his title. He doesn't care, hes the champion thats all he cares about. He snidely sneers at RDK before placing the championship on his shoulder, patting the belt.
RDK: Shut your dirty mouth brudah, the macho man doesn't need any shit from you. If you want to make comments like that, take them up to the fuckin' macho motel, where theres jabroni beatins' all night LONG!
OoOoh Yeeeah!
RDK: Damn rights brudahs! Who else has been pissing off the mach? Practically the whole lot of ACW aside from the lovely Kitsune and my dear friend Victor "Latino" Laureano brudahs! Dan White, Jake Cheng and Jonny Spade and Tornado, who the hell do you guys think you are? There is no place for you in a fed like this. This is the league of main eventahs! All of you have fallen before me, unable to defeat me in this sport. For shame on all of you brudahs. And Like the mach has said time and time again, two dollar, got a loonie, 50 soonie, don’t got a quarta, where’s my dime, not even a penna, Name is a Rena! She is thinking of things too big, not in her reach. She is not at the macho man's level! I know it, she knows it...and the people KNOW IT!
The crowd cheers in delight of being acknowledged.
RDK: Oh and what else, we got the Senator! This brudah thinks he can take me to the next level like he did with his mudah? Nuh uh, brudah don't swing that way jabroni! As far as I'm concerned you gotta get your ass on Know Your Role Boulevard and get some skills and moves into gear because come Bloody Valentine, chitty chitty bang bang, The Macho Man will walk out, the undisputed winner! Don't try and make a comeback, your not going to brudah, The Macho Man is simply your greater in every aspect of this business, accept it.
The crowd has a mixed reaction on this for some truly believe Senator is a much better technical wrestler than RDK.
RDK: Then...we finally come to Torak brudah, OoOoh Noo! The mach don't think so! Slow down brudah, you ain't never had a title, thats a fact brudah! I defeated you in your first match here, and BAYUM there goes the so called "monster". You couldn't beat Alicia, you couldn't beat Latino. We were unstoppable and you knew it brudah. You knew it damn well. And now your trying to make a name for yourself again, WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, NOT ON MY WATCH! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU WANT A FUCKING MONSTER?? I WILL UNLEASH THE MONSTER BRUDAH!
OOOOH YEAAH!!!
RDK begins to macho up----
----------------------------------------------
Segment: Spy games (Credit: AK/RDK)
The image that appears on the screen as the scene starts is one that ACW regulars might vaguely recall. It is a shopping mall, much like those found in any mid sized American town, but the ornamental fountains and central food court give it away as the location for ACW’s semi-mythic “Mayhem at the Mall” contest. Today, thankfully, things are peaceful; the crowds are large enough to give the place warmth, but not so dense as to make the actual business of shopping a chore.
This mall also has one other very important feature; its visitors are acclimatized to seeing the various members of the ACW roster in casual guise, which provides the opportunity for some much-needed recreation on the part of the superstars. It’s an opportunity which the former tag champions AK and RDK are making the most of; they’ve pitched up at the local Starbucks after an afternoon’s hard trekking in search of various bits and pieces on which to fritter away their paychecks…
RDK: I’ll get the refreshments, sista. What’ll it be?
AK: Oh, I need to keep a check on my carbs… I’ll just have a diet soda.
RDK gives her a glance and a raise of his legendary eyebrow.
AK:……oh go on then, hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows and extra chocolate syrup.
RDK: Now you’re talking! Ooooh Yeah, I won’t be two shakes.
RDK pops into the café, leaving AK to stack their various bags up next to their outside table. As she checks her purse, she becomes aware of someone standing just on the periphery of her vision. By looking across the way at the window of the shop opposite, she can see that the figure is a man in a black suit, wearing back shades and with what looks like a two way radio in his hand. He’s hovering just to one side of a potted palm, which of course makes him look even more suspicious. AK sighs, and doesn’t even turn her head.
AK: Do you have the faintest idea how daft you look, Ron?
Ron at first pretends that he hasn’t heard, then that he’s checking his watch. AK rolls her eyes, and lobs a packet of sugar directly at his forehead.
Ron: Ow! What the…
AK: You’re allowed to talk to me, you know.
Ron rubs his head and comes over. As is the case with most bizarre happenings, everyone else completely ignores him.
Ron: I’ll have you know, this is for your benefit. We’re trying to cultivate a professional image, so as to quell any fears on the part of your nearest and dearest.
AK: I see… well I appreciate the effort, but I’ve already got Hunter poncing about pretending he’s the white version of Wesley Snipes. I don’t need a pair of Caucasian cockney Will Smith wannabes too.
Ron: Arse, I was going for Tommy Lee Jones.
He smiles, and AK smiles back. Just then, Ron’s radio crackles into life.
Voice (distorted): Come in, Panther –zzzzttthrrzz- come in, this is Wolverine, priority one, we have a code viridian, repeat –zzzzzsscrrtttzzz- ridian.
Ron stiffens, and looks all around him urgently.
Ron: Copy Reg, where is the big bastard?
Reg: 12 o’clock, approx 6 feet-
Ron: CHRIST!
Ron whirls around, fists raised. He stays like this for a moment… and then realizes that there is no imminent danger, and that everyone is staring. He straightens his collar, and takes another look at the spot directly behind him.
Ron: Come in Wolverine…. repeat- oh sod it. Reg, you dick, are you there?
A pause.
Reg:………Yeah Bruv. You ok?
Ron: Smashing, mate. Where are you?
Reg: Up on the top floor, I can see you through these binoculars what you gave me.
Ron: About those… have another look down here, would you?
Ron waits a second, and then waves. AK follows his gaze, and sees another black clad figure high above.
Reg:……………Oh, it’s a bleedin’ PLANT, innit? Hahahahahahaha… sorry ‘bout that, false alarm.
AK puts her palm against her forehead.
AK: Well I feel deeply reassured by your presence, lads. Seriously, Ron… I appreciate you taking this so seriously, but we need to get your threat recognition sorted out.
Ron: Yeah, I guess.
AK: Listen, I’m with Randy right now, so I’m not exactly vulnerable. Why don’t you two take the rest of the day off, and I’ll see you at the arena tomorrow for the show?
Ron: All right sweetheat, you’re the boss. You’ve got my mobile on speed dial if we’re required.
He speaks into the radio again.
Ron: Stand down Reg, time to regroup. Libby’s bar, I think.
Reg: Nice, I could murder a pint. See you in a sec.
Ron clicks the radio off, and then adjusts his shades.
Ron: A bientot, cherie. That’s French.
Ron makes quite possibly the least incognito exit ever, and AK watches to make sure he really has left. A few seconds later, RDK emerges with their drinks.
RDK: Man, I never saw a queue like that in my life!
He sits down; a couple of people eye him, wondering if he’s going to be like the other strange man, but fortunately RDK doesn’t notice.
AK: So… Meltdown tomorrow, and we’ve got the Capitalists. Thoughts?
RDK: I never underestimate anyone, sista, but I think we can take them. Only hitch might be them having the Senator there…
RDK’s expression becomes a little bit frayed.
AK: That’s going to be the biggest challenge – if you let Phillips get under your skin, Kalb and Fitzharris will make us pay for even a small error.
RDK: Sounds just like the sort of thing they like to do… don’t worry, the Macho Man’s a cool customer.
AK: Yes, I know you are. I wish I’d been as cool in our last match…
RDK: Hey, hey, now don’t fret over what’s been and gone, sista. If you win a title, sooner or later you’ll have to let it go. No one’s invincible.
AK: No, I suppose you’re right.
She puts her arm on the table and rests her chin in her upheld hand.
AK: Randy, I need an honest answer from you… what can I do to be in with a chance of actually winning the World Title?
RDK: You got me confused… you have a great chance of winning already-
AK: See, that’s the thing, I’m not sure that I have. I’d be willing to bet major money on the fact that Hunter’s already studying my matches, and if anyone can devise counters to the moves I favor, it’s him. I’m really worried that I’m going to go in there, and find myself up against a brick wall, fresh out of ideas.
RDK: Hmm… I sort of see what you mean.
RDK thinks for a moment.
RDK: I think… if your theory is correct, then you have to stay one step ahead of Hunter.
AK: How do I do that?
RDK: Same way he’s studying you… you should study him. Get his matches since he started using this style, and look at how he counters different moves. He’s a strong guy alright, but in return for power you have to give away something on the flexibility side. I bet if we really looked, we’d see a pattern to how he works. And if we find the pattern, crack the code…
AK:…..I might just be able to counter the counters?
RDK nods.
AK:… You know, it might just work. It’s going to be a gamble… but I’m drawing dead otherwise. Thankyou, Randy… now I have something to work on. You’re a great inspiration.
RDK: Aww, think nothing of it sista.
AK’s cellphone beeps; she checks it.
AK: Looks like our ride’s here. Time to get back to work…
They finish their drinks, pick up their things, and then blend back into the crowds as the scene fades out.
Segment: Challenges, Insults, and Respect
(Credit: RDK, Senator)
Coming back from the break, Steve Phillips is in the ring, with microphone in hand.
The Senator: Ok, I have business to take care of, so I want to keep this nice and short and to the point. Mr. Randy Dallas Kanyon, I challenged you to a match, and am awaiting an answer. I do not have all night here to get a...
Suddenly, "Macho Man" plays over the PA system, and RDK makes his triumphant appearence in the ACW Arena. He strides down to the ring, slapping his fans' hands along the way. Once in the ring, both men stare each other down, until the Senator finally speaks.
Senator: Thank you for gracing us all with your prescence, Mr. Kanyon. Now before I hear your answer, I would just like to say two things, first, that I appreciate that you have taken my associate, Santiago under your wing, and two, that I have a great deal of respect for your abilities, no matter what problems that we have. Now then...
RDK: Now then, brudah, if you'd let me speak, I'd like to say a few things myself.
Senator: Excuse me, I was not finished...
RDK: These Machomaniacs want to hear me, not some suit wearing jabroni, and that's what they're gonna get!
OoOoh Yeeah!
Senator: Mr. Kanyon, I have had about enough! You are only reminding me of why I seem to keep having problems with you. You are obnoxious...
RDK: And you're a jackass...
Senator: Aargh! You know what really eats at me when I see you?
RDK: I really don't care what eats at you, brudah...
Senator: Too bad, 'cause I am going to let you know regardless! Everytime I see you, I see a tremendous waste of raw potential. You could have been so much more than just a popular champ around here, you could have left a true mark on the industry! Instead of focusing on honing your trade, and expanding your in ring skills, you would rather spend time working on your little speeches, and on your ridiculous poses!
RDK strikes a muscle pose, much to the delight of his millions, and millions of fans.
Senator: You see, that is the perfect example! You care more about garnering cheers from the crowds, getting them to yell and clap for every word you speak, when you could bring them to their feet instead with a brilliant performance! You could have been an unparalleled success, and a true mat legend, but instead, you have settled for the adoration of your fan base, and have been perfectly content to rest on your laurels!
RDK: Now brudah, I hear you flapping your gums over there, and you say that I've been content to be what I am, but looking at you...I see someone who hasn't won the ACW title, failed at trying to do so, always seems to blow the big matches, and lost control of his own Stable in the past!
Senator: Hey! You want to talk about running a stable, what ever happened to your Nation of Somethingation? Where did your teammates go?
RDK: Hey, wasn't my fault they left, and I seem to remember that we were WAY more popular than your Stable ever will be! You want a piece of the Macho Man, I'll accept your challenge! SO it's gonna be...the rootin' tootin', wrestling style is shootin', YOUR MOMMA'S LATE, POLITICAL DEBATE...THE MATCH IS GONNA OCCUR, HIS NAME IS THE SEN-A-TOR!...VERSUS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION, THE MACHO MAYUN R-D-KAYYY!!!! BLOODY VALENTINE!
Senator: Great! That is exactly what I wanted to hear. Despite the fact that you seem to raise my blood pressure, and that we take diametrically opposed views on our ways of wrestling, I know that you can bring it should you be motivated to do so, and I will be pleased to face you. We may not always see eye to eye...
RDK: That's for sure...
Senator: But I still know that you will be one heck of an opponent. Shake?
RDK looks to the audience, who give him a mixed response, and pauses for a moment, but then reaches out and shakes the Senator's outstretched hand. Both men nod for a moment, and release amicably. RDK goes back to the outside, giving his fans high fives, while the Senator simply walks back to the entranceway.
Fade Out.
-----------------------------------------------------
RDK is the winner, but his mood hasn’t improved; in a rage at the dispute, he picks Hunter up by the head and then throws him over the top rope. Hunter lands on the outside taking a hard bump. RDK then walks to the other side of the ring, pointing at a worker to give him a mic. The worker immediately responds by searching for one and handing it to the macho man, being scared of him at the moment for he has a very angry face on. RDK raises the mic in the air and then lifts his head up to speak into it...He then also uses his other arm to point at Hunter who is trying to get on his feet on the outside, clutching his title that has now been given to him.
RDK: --Now what just happened? YOU KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED! The Macho Man came out here, and proved a point. The Macho Man can STILL step into the ring and show even the "best" in the business whos boss. This man, is not a champion...
The camera switches over to a close up of Hunter's sweaty face as he clutches the championship. He does not appear amused. The camera then switches back to RDK in the ring.
RDK: Now the macho man doesn't know why, but there is alot of fuckin' hatred in his veins right now. Paranoia, anger, it doesn't matter. The Macho Man needs to blow some fuckin' steam...
RDK then drops the mic and tenses up before making a swift movement, chopping one of the ring's ropes in two. The now loose ropes hang from the turnbuckles. RDK breathes heavily, his arm red, but his face sure. The impact is so great that his arm begins to show signs bleeding. RDK appears to be either unaware of it or ignorant though, he appears pissed.
RDK: Who am I kidding, I have been paying attention, theres been big chain of events that have happened here tonight, and there is no fucking way The Macho Man could be left out. It appears that I am now the next chain, but the mach of all mach doesn't play that game brudahs. I am sick and tired of the bullshit I've been through, tonight I am going to take it out on someone....whether it be you...
RDK points towards Hunter...
RDK: ...You...
RDK points at Edison...
RDK: ...Or even you...
RDK points to a fat kid in the crowd.
Fat Kid: Me?
RDK: No brudah you ain't a mach, just have another nach. OoOoh Nooooo!
RDK snaps at the kid and then points at him and he then obeys by continuing to stuff nachos in his fat face...
RDK: -BUT BRUDAHS....I've been born a rambling man, so I'm going to ramble on, the steam is a flowing, this show needs a goin'! First off, The Macho Man is sick and tired of this bull shit. Hunter, I defeated you just a few weeks ago, and where is my title match brudah? WHERE IS MY TITLE MATCH? Instead you give me this match tonight, with no title on the line. Brudah I don't go for that, and frankly think you should set your priorities straight if you think your ready for the next level. If you can't truly beat the mach one more time for that title, then retire brudah, just retire.
Hunter by now is on his feet and is brushing off his title. He doesn't care, hes the champion thats all he cares about. He snidely sneers at RDK before placing the championship on his shoulder, patting the belt.
RDK: Shut your dirty mouth brudah, the macho man doesn't need any shit from you. If you want to make comments like that, take them up to the fuckin' macho motel, where theres jabroni beatins' all night LONG!
OoOoh Yeeeah!
RDK: Damn rights brudahs! Who else has been pissing off the mach? Practically the whole lot of ACW aside from the lovely Kitsune and my dear friend Victor "Latino" Laureano brudahs! Dan White, Jake Cheng and Jonny Spade and Tornado, who the hell do you guys think you are? There is no place for you in a fed like this. This is the league of main eventahs! All of you have fallen before me, unable to defeat me in this sport. For shame on all of you brudahs. And Like the mach has said time and time again, two dollar, got a loonie, 50 soonie, don’t got a quarta, where’s my dime, not even a penna, Name is a Rena! She is thinking of things too big, not in her reach. She is not at the macho man's level! I know it, she knows it...and the people KNOW IT!
The crowd cheers in delight of being acknowledged.
RDK: Oh and what else, we got the Senator! This brudah thinks he can take me to the next level like he did with his mudah? Nuh uh, brudah don't swing that way jabroni! As far as I'm concerned you gotta get your ass on Know Your Role Boulevard and get some skills and moves into gear because come Bloody Valentine, chitty chitty bang bang, The Macho Man will walk out, the undisputed winner! Don't try and make a comeback, your not going to brudah, The Macho Man is simply your greater in every aspect of this business, accept it.
The crowd has a mixed reaction on this for some truly believe Senator is a much better technical wrestler than RDK.
RDK: Then...we finally come to Torak brudah, OoOoh Noo! The mach don't think so! Slow down brudah, you ain't never had a title, thats a fact brudah! I defeated you in your first match here, and BAYUM there goes the so called "monster". You couldn't beat Alicia, you couldn't beat Latino. We were unstoppable and you knew it brudah. You knew it damn well. And now your trying to make a name for yourself again, WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, NOT ON MY WATCH! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU WANT A FUCKING MONSTER?? I WILL UNLEASH THE MONSTER BRUDAH!
OOOOH YEAAH!!!
RDK begins to macho up----
----------------------------------------------
Segment: Spy games (Credit: AK/RDK)
The image that appears on the screen as the scene starts is one that ACW regulars might vaguely recall. It is a shopping mall, much like those found in any mid sized American town, but the ornamental fountains and central food court give it away as the location for ACW’s semi-mythic “Mayhem at the Mall” contest. Today, thankfully, things are peaceful; the crowds are large enough to give the place warmth, but not so dense as to make the actual business of shopping a chore.
This mall also has one other very important feature; its visitors are acclimatized to seeing the various members of the ACW roster in casual guise, which provides the opportunity for some much-needed recreation on the part of the superstars. It’s an opportunity which the former tag champions AK and RDK are making the most of; they’ve pitched up at the local Starbucks after an afternoon’s hard trekking in search of various bits and pieces on which to fritter away their paychecks…
RDK: I’ll get the refreshments, sista. What’ll it be?
AK: Oh, I need to keep a check on my carbs… I’ll just have a diet soda.
RDK gives her a glance and a raise of his legendary eyebrow.
AK:……oh go on then, hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows and extra chocolate syrup.
RDK: Now you’re talking! Ooooh Yeah, I won’t be two shakes.
RDK pops into the café, leaving AK to stack their various bags up next to their outside table. As she checks her purse, she becomes aware of someone standing just on the periphery of her vision. By looking across the way at the window of the shop opposite, she can see that the figure is a man in a black suit, wearing back shades and with what looks like a two way radio in his hand. He’s hovering just to one side of a potted palm, which of course makes him look even more suspicious. AK sighs, and doesn’t even turn her head.
AK: Do you have the faintest idea how daft you look, Ron?
Ron at first pretends that he hasn’t heard, then that he’s checking his watch. AK rolls her eyes, and lobs a packet of sugar directly at his forehead.
Ron: Ow! What the…
AK: You’re allowed to talk to me, you know.
Ron rubs his head and comes over. As is the case with most bizarre happenings, everyone else completely ignores him.
Ron: I’ll have you know, this is for your benefit. We’re trying to cultivate a professional image, so as to quell any fears on the part of your nearest and dearest.
AK: I see… well I appreciate the effort, but I’ve already got Hunter poncing about pretending he’s the white version of Wesley Snipes. I don’t need a pair of Caucasian cockney Will Smith wannabes too.
Ron: Arse, I was going for Tommy Lee Jones.
He smiles, and AK smiles back. Just then, Ron’s radio crackles into life.
Voice (distorted): Come in, Panther –zzzzttthrrzz- come in, this is Wolverine, priority one, we have a code viridian, repeat –zzzzzsscrrtttzzz- ridian.
Ron stiffens, and looks all around him urgently.
Ron: Copy Reg, where is the big bastard?
Reg: 12 o’clock, approx 6 feet-
Ron: CHRIST!
Ron whirls around, fists raised. He stays like this for a moment… and then realizes that there is no imminent danger, and that everyone is staring. He straightens his collar, and takes another look at the spot directly behind him.
Ron: Come in Wolverine…. repeat- oh sod it. Reg, you dick, are you there?
A pause.
Reg:………Yeah Bruv. You ok?
Ron: Smashing, mate. Where are you?
Reg: Up on the top floor, I can see you through these binoculars what you gave me.
Ron: About those… have another look down here, would you?
Ron waits a second, and then waves. AK follows his gaze, and sees another black clad figure high above.
Reg:……………Oh, it’s a bleedin’ PLANT, innit? Hahahahahahaha… sorry ‘bout that, false alarm.
AK puts her palm against her forehead.
AK: Well I feel deeply reassured by your presence, lads. Seriously, Ron… I appreciate you taking this so seriously, but we need to get your threat recognition sorted out.
Ron: Yeah, I guess.
AK: Listen, I’m with Randy right now, so I’m not exactly vulnerable. Why don’t you two take the rest of the day off, and I’ll see you at the arena tomorrow for the show?
Ron: All right sweetheat, you’re the boss. You’ve got my mobile on speed dial if we’re required.
He speaks into the radio again.
Ron: Stand down Reg, time to regroup. Libby’s bar, I think.
Reg: Nice, I could murder a pint. See you in a sec.
Ron clicks the radio off, and then adjusts his shades.
Ron: A bientot, cherie. That’s French.
Ron makes quite possibly the least incognito exit ever, and AK watches to make sure he really has left. A few seconds later, RDK emerges with their drinks.
RDK: Man, I never saw a queue like that in my life!
He sits down; a couple of people eye him, wondering if he’s going to be like the other strange man, but fortunately RDK doesn’t notice.
AK: So… Meltdown tomorrow, and we’ve got the Capitalists. Thoughts?
RDK: I never underestimate anyone, sista, but I think we can take them. Only hitch might be them having the Senator there…
RDK’s expression becomes a little bit frayed.
AK: That’s going to be the biggest challenge – if you let Phillips get under your skin, Kalb and Fitzharris will make us pay for even a small error.
RDK: Sounds just like the sort of thing they like to do… don’t worry, the Macho Man’s a cool customer.
AK: Yes, I know you are. I wish I’d been as cool in our last match…
RDK: Hey, hey, now don’t fret over what’s been and gone, sista. If you win a title, sooner or later you’ll have to let it go. No one’s invincible.
AK: No, I suppose you’re right.
She puts her arm on the table and rests her chin in her upheld hand.
AK: Randy, I need an honest answer from you… what can I do to be in with a chance of actually winning the World Title?
RDK: You got me confused… you have a great chance of winning already-
AK: See, that’s the thing, I’m not sure that I have. I’d be willing to bet major money on the fact that Hunter’s already studying my matches, and if anyone can devise counters to the moves I favor, it’s him. I’m really worried that I’m going to go in there, and find myself up against a brick wall, fresh out of ideas.
RDK: Hmm… I sort of see what you mean.
RDK thinks for a moment.
RDK: I think… if your theory is correct, then you have to stay one step ahead of Hunter.
AK: How do I do that?
RDK: Same way he’s studying you… you should study him. Get his matches since he started using this style, and look at how he counters different moves. He’s a strong guy alright, but in return for power you have to give away something on the flexibility side. I bet if we really looked, we’d see a pattern to how he works. And if we find the pattern, crack the code…
AK:…..I might just be able to counter the counters?
RDK nods.
AK:… You know, it might just work. It’s going to be a gamble… but I’m drawing dead otherwise. Thankyou, Randy… now I have something to work on. You’re a great inspiration.
RDK: Aww, think nothing of it sista.
AK’s cellphone beeps; she checks it.
AK: Looks like our ride’s here. Time to get back to work…
They finish their drinks, pick up their things, and then blend back into the crowds as the scene fades out.