A different kind of criticism needed

[v3]

Here's a song i wrote a while ago. Thoughts, advice, props, "you suck"'s are all welcome.

It was a Good Day V.3

Verse 1
I woke up late, bout quarter to eight
figured that i should get an early start to the day
man, i jus wanted to wake up at six
jus so i can go outside and get some work out in
the phone rang, but i knew who made the call
it was her, my girl, who is truely my all
i gave her my love, and then bid her farewell
I know she's the one, but only time can tell
hopped in the whip, brand new kicks
cant believe this is now how my life is
six mil deal with a brand new label
I'm their star artist, I give my own say so
ran in the studio, needed a hot beat
so i called preme, hooked me up quickly
took me 10 minutes to write a 9 minute song
so i chilled and freestyled to finish the day off

Chorus
today is a good day, its a perfect day
everything goin rite, wut more can i say?
got my girl, hot whip, smooth kicks, great deal
everything is a plus and its major still
today is a good day, its a perfect day
everything goin rite, wut more can i say?
i thank you god for givin everything i wanted
but i still cant figure out how this all started

Verse 2
ridin out from the studio to meet my one love
no one makes my heart race quite like she does
everything is all good, and its picture perfect
every thing that i did, it was all worth it
caught up with her, caught a great movie
after we went had some dinner cuz damn we hungry
it was great meal, i gave my props to the chef
but i told her the night wasnt done yet
i got on one knee and pulled out my ring
yes she screamed and it made my heart sing
made love to her, better then ever before
this was the kinda thing where stories are told

Chorus
today is a good day, its a perfect day
everything goin rite, wut more can i say?
today is one of the happiest moments of my life
everything inside feels rite
today is a good day, its a perfect day
everything goin rite, wut more can i say?
gonna marry the girl of my dreams
but everything isnt wut they seem

Verse 3
I woke up, half past ten
took me as second to realize happend
it was all a dream, none of it real
i feel mixed up, emotions i conceal
but i kno wut i must do, gotta go for the dream
take the risks, the chances, else things will always be
getting better, just do wut i gotta do
keep everything real, keep everything true
as long is i hope, keep my goals, and forever dream
nothing is ever to big for me to achieve
take your risks, chances, live for no regrets
then you can achieve any goal that you set
thank god for the blessins you'll recieve
cuz all you gotta do is believe, peace.

[BK London]

To tell you the truth, it's lacking. I mean none of the rhymes there really jump out, it's just the basic rhyme so with so. But then again is it like a rap or a R&B song because concerning this, they would be judged differently. The above criticism is if it's a rap.

[v3]

it is a rap, but this would have much beat emphasis as it is a short song. i kinda wrote it as a message, with the last verse and all, and how i was feelin at the time, like a filler track.