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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:30:08 GMT -5
The scene starts off with a close up to a poor family. Yoko feeds grampa Ginger as her mother prepares the shit broth, then suddenly, the news comes on on their crappy black and white TV...News guy: There is only one golden ticket left people! Start getting wheedwhackers, it could be anywhere! So far the people to find it are Amo The Great... Cuts to AmoAmo: Like who doesnt want to go to the Enlightenment Factory? Like come on! there could be some nice looking ladies in there! Ya know...*winks* News Guy: Angelo Giovanni... Cuts to AngeloAngelo: What if theres Italian Gum there? IM GONNA GET IT! News Guy: BK... Cuts to BKBk: I WANT IT ALL! I WANT ALL OF RIDLEY'S SECRETS TO ENLIGHTENMENT! Jakie: Well... BK: I WANT IT NOW! Jakie: Ok.... News Guy: And BS... Cuts to BSBS: Just to let ya know, Im a star, on tv and anywhere else, and when I find Ridleys secret to Enlightenment, I will become the most powerful- News Guy: AND theres still one more left, and only one wheedwhacker has a golden ticket... Ginger: TURN IT OFF Yoko turns off TVYoko: I wish I cud get a Golden Ticket... Ginger: Nevermind, lets just eat broth... Yoko: Im gonna use my Croquet money on tobacco for you ginger! Ginger: I dont smoke tobacco! Yoko: >_> Yoko runs to store and buys a wheedwhacker and then brings it home...Yoko: I hope it has it... Ginger: Who cares, Ive never been happy for 20 years, just forget about it. Yoko: Could you check...grampa ginger? Ginger: Ginger slowly puts his hand in the wheedwhacker, he feels something, it then turns on and ginger yelps pulling out a golden peice of paperGinger: AUGH MY ARM! Yoko: YAY! We got the golden ticket! Ginger: I GOT A GOLDEN TICKET! Yoko: WE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET TO MAKE OUR DAY! AND WITH A GOLDEN TICKET ITS A GOLDEN DAY!!! Ginger: Id never thot Id fly so high, over the moon, in extascy, But now I see that i have a purpose, oh yes this can be, CAUSE WE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET! Yoko: Thats too much.. Ginger: Really? Yoko: Yeah... Ginger: Lets go to the Enlightenment factory then...
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:31:31 GMT -5
As Yoko and Ginger arrive, the other 5 are already waiting...Amo: I CANT WAIT! I hope Im looking good! *winks* BK: JAKIE! I WANT AN ENLIGHTENMENT FACTORY! Jakie: But- BK: NOW! Jakie: Ok... Bladeshadow: Would you all shut up, hes coming! Yoko: YAY! The gates of the factory open as Mr. Ridley Wonka himself walks down the steps, slowly, but steady. He then looks like hes about to fall but then hits a cartwheel and lands on a douchebag, who Privately dies. Ridley Wonka then gets to his feet and opens the door.Ridley: Come, Ladies bitches and fags, we have so much to see and so little time! The whole lot come in as Ridley guides them through the factory and they come to a hallway...Ridley Wonka: Now hold on, Im just gonna bend down and look for a BUTTTON! While Ridley bends down to get a button, Ak comes from the shadows and talks to the 7 people.Ak: TAKE HIS EVERLASTING WHEEDWHACKERS! THERE THE SOURCE OF HIS POWER! GIVE THEM TO ME! Ak then dissapears as Ridley gets up, with the button in handRidley: Righto, lets move on then... Amo: But I need to see how I look! BK: I WANT THE BUTTON! Ridley: If you act like a wanker one more time, you will get the button alright....THE FIERY DEATH BUTTON! Ridley takes out his remote control with a Fiery Death Button on it and taunts Bk with itBK: ... Ridley: Let us go to my Opposite Of Everything I like room shall we?
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:32:57 GMT -5
The group makes it to the Opposite Of Everything Ridley likes roomBS: ITS...ITS A CHOCOLATE RIVER! Amo: MIRRORS! Yoko: SOMETHING! Ridley: Quiet Quiet, I know your all Excited but I run the show around here so stop pissing and lets get on with it shall we? Ridley begins to walk with Excalibur in hand as the group follows him, he begins to sing.Ridley: "Here We Are, It's Not a Bar, but take some time, for pure imagination..." Angelo: This guys crazy, I say we- Ridley swipes at Angelo with ExcaliburAngelo: Ridley: "If you take a look, paradise, you can have anything you want in variation! If you try to agree in moderation...You will be a victim...of the corrupt nation...." Ridley then signals for the group to go around the place and check it out. Yoko finds a croquet Mallet and BS finds a camera. Amo finds a mirror galore corner and poses. Angelo dances around and BK and Jakie argue on whether BK gets all the stuff or not.Amo: These mirrors, there soo....SO HANDSOME! ITS ME! Ridley: No stop...They'll...yeah... Amo: NEVER! IM TOO BEAUTIFUL! Amo is then sucked up by the mirror galore corner and never heard from again, followed by Angelo crapping in Jakie's pants. Ridley then takes the main mirror and gives it to a druid, he then takes out his flute and gives it a whistle.Druids: Ooompa Doompa Doompitty Doo! We got a special puzzle for you, Oompa doompa doomputty dee, maybe after this song you will listen to me! Druid #1: What do you get when your handsome like that? Druid #2: Not gay or ugly, not even FAT! Druids 3, 4, 5: What do you know about looking your best? Could have Amo worn...a...vest??? Druid #6: I didn't like the look of him... DA NA NA NA NA NA NUN! Druids: Oompa doompa doompaty dee, Maybe now ull listen to me, u cud live in happiness too, like the oompa doompa druiiiiiiids DO! Druid #320292: OOOOMPITY DOO! Druids leaveRidley Wonka: Shall we move on douches?
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:33:45 GMT -5
The Gang finally gets to the hallway where you must go to get to the Enlightenment part of the place.Ridley: Here is my every flavor wall paper, try it! Its all along the walls of the hallway! Everyone tries emYoko: The Strawberries taste like strawberries! Angelo: The apples taste like apples! Blade: The wangs taste like wangs! Ridley: Yeah, You'd Know... Blade: Ginger: I want some stuff like this to take home! BK: NO ITS ALL MINE! Jakie, I want some! Jakie: Of course BK, right at Christmas I- BK: I WANT IT NOW!!!!! Jakie: But...Umm...Mr. Ridley, how much for the wallpaper? Ridley: It's not for sale.. Jakie: Well Name Your Price! *Pulls down shitty pants* Ridley: UGH! FINE! Take it! Ridley gives Jakie the wallpaper, Jakie then gives it to BKRidley: Now here we are, my any flavor bubble gum machine! Yoko: Oh my! How fantastic! Ginger: Indeed! Ridley: Now Button...Button, whos got the button? Angelo: ME! Ridley: SO YOU STOLE IT! Ridley takes a peice of gum out of the machineRidley: I'll trade you the button for this! Angelo: FINE! TradeRidley: Don't eat the gum... Angelo: TOO BAD! Angelo then eats the gum, he infact swallows it, but then he starts to bloat up...Jakie: WHATS HAPPENING? Ridley: *Sigh* Ginger: HES TURNING INTO A BLUEBERRY! Ridley: Its a doucheberrry you douche! Its too late for him, hes full of douche juice *Plays whistle* Dun na na na! Druids: Ooompa Doompa Doompitty Doo! We got a special puzzle for you, Oompa doompa doomputty dee, maybe after this song you will listen to me! Druid #1: What Do You Get When You Shit in Jakie's pants? Druid #2: Getting beat up is a very good chance! Druids 3, 4, 5: Why were you dumb enough to eat that gum? Druids: We might as well role you like a New-York-Bumb! Druid #6: I don't like the look of him! >_> Da Na na na na na nun! All Of the druids: Oompa doompa doompaty dee, Maybe now ull listen to me, u cud live in happiness too, like the oompa doompa druiiiiiiids DO! da na na na nun.dunnnnn Druid #0: Oompaty doo! <_< Druids roll the Angelo Douche away.Ridley Wonka: What A Douchebag....
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:36:04 GMT -5
Ridley and the now smaller gang go through a hallway and they stop at a roomRidley: This is the Enlightenment Room. Blade: AWESOME! I want to be enlightened! COME ON! BK: YA! It all belongs to me anyways! Ginger: Oooh.... Ridley: No, your all not worthy of being enlightened, lets move on... Everyone carries on cept Ginger and YokoGinger: Come ON! Lets try some of that enlightenment juice! Yoko: But were not worthy... Ginger: Meh, when in rome... The two drink some enlightenment juiceYoko: I feel...WHOA! Yoko goes up in the air, where there is a fan at the ceiling.Ginger: Why didnt it afffect me?' Yoko: I guess your not worthy!!! HELP ME! Ginger: Umm... Ginger turns off fan switchGinger: Now get down from there! Yoko: *burps* Yoko floats down to the groundGinger: Lets get outta here! Ginger and Yoko go to where the gang is, although they see Surion in the hall on the way playing X-Box, Halo 2 to be exact...Surion: Wanna play? Ginger: No... The gang leaves the bloodshot Surion to catch up with Ridley and folk.Ridley: Now these, are my...well, there just geese. Blade: I think they suck! COME ON EVERYONE! LETS CHANT IT LOUD! THEY SUCK! THEY SUCK! crickets chirpBk London: Jakie, I want it! Jakie: Of course BK! Anything he needs... Ridley: What You Need BK is a kick in the ass! BK: THATS IT! BK grabs mic and begins to singBK: I WANT THE WORLD! I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD. GIVE IT TO ME NOWWWW!!! CHOCOLATE IS Thicker BUT LIQUOR Is- Ridley: Quicker... BK: Ridley: I don't need some Gayass Magee from brooklyn telling me what I should give him! Get your ass back on Know Your Role Boulevard This Private! BK: JAKIE!!!!!!!! Jakie: IVE HAD ENUFF! Jakie runs away and trips, falling into a river of chocolateEveryone: Meh... BK: BUT STILL! I WANT ONE THING! I WANT TO BE SEEN BY THE WHOLE WORLD! IT SHUD BE ALL IN MY POCKET, LIKE A BAR OF CHOCOLATE!!!! GIVE IT TO ME NOW! Bk then Privately farts and Blade collapses.Ridley: Fine, *Blows Whistle* DUN NA NA NUN! Druids: Ooompa Doompa Doompitty Doo! We got a special puzzle for you, Oompa doompa doomputty dee, maybe after this song you will listen to me! Druid #1: What Do You Get When You act like a bitch? Druid #2: Jakie might as well take a baseball to pitch! Druids 3, 4, 5: Why were you such a greedy little brat? All Druids: We might as well should have named you PAT! Druid #6: I don't Like The Look Of Him.... ^_^ Da na na na na na na! All Of the druids: Oompa doompa doompaty dee, Maybe now ull listen to me, u cud live in happiness too, like the oompa doompa druiiiiiiids DO! da na na na nun dunnnnn Ghost Of Amo: OOMPITY DOO! BK NOOOOOO! Bk is sent into the atmosphere and stretched around it so everyone can see him.Ridley: Ah, Well Looks like Fag McElliot got what he desired...
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 14:36:39 GMT -5
Ridley escorts Yoko and Ginger out to where his office is.Ridley: Thats the end, heres your everlasting Weedwhacker. Have a nice day! Yoko: But... Ridley: wonka.ytmnd.comGinger/Yoko: Yoko: Heres your Wheewhacker back then sir.... Ridley: YOU DID IT MY GIRL! MY GAWD U DID IT! MARVELOUS! WONDERFUL...*cough* Ah yes....Well, You get to own the facotry, now excuse me while I go F*ck Rose in the glass elevator....Im an exhibitionist dont ya know? End Show
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Post by BK London on Nov 13, 2004 14:56:46 GMT -5
I am not like that, I don't see why everyone makes it looks like Jakie's my bitch.
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Post by ridley on Nov 13, 2004 15:01:13 GMT -5
Actually, I think BK makes the ideal Veruca Salt.
Anywho, good job, RDK. I must say you got a chuckle out of me, which is more than most people who've tried to do Fallout have been able to do.
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Jake
Members
Too fabulous for a title.....
Guido's reaction to Taylor's ban...JAGERBOMBS ALL AROUND!
Posts: 3,683
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Post by Jake on Nov 13, 2004 15:02:07 GMT -5
AND I AM NOT HIS BITCH
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 13, 2004 16:27:36 GMT -5
Great stuff RDK. As I suspected I'll never be able to watch that film in the same way again, but what the heck. And yay for my 3 microsecond cameo.
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 17:29:21 GMT -5
Lol, no hard feelings BK, I just randomly chose characters...
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Post by Santiago Rivera on Nov 13, 2004 19:21:45 GMT -5
ahh you made me that fat ass girl who turns into a ball
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Post by The Feature Presentation on Nov 13, 2004 19:29:05 GMT -5
LOL yeah...
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Post by Yoko Satoshi on Nov 13, 2004 20:51:39 GMT -5
Yay, I was Charlie.
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Post by Trainer kross on Nov 14, 2004 12:12:43 GMT -5
My only complaint was the extreme lack of the boat scene.
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