Monday Night Warfare 24th August 2009

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Monday Night Warfare 24th August 2009

Schedule of Matches:
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Non Title Match
VorteX vs. The Red Panther

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Jack Jefferson vs. Rena

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ACW Tag Team Championship Match
Jay Zero and BK London (c) vs. Dave Shadow and Jason Freeman

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Multiple-man Tag Team Match
Team White: Dan White, Michael Smart, Rattlesnake and The Royles.
vs.
Team Senator: The Senator, Jonny Hughes, Chris Phenomenal and The Capitalists

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[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

It’s the last show before Heatwave. I’m sure I don’t need to describe a wrestling arena full of fans – it’s hardly as if they’re all going to be reading the complete works of Chaucer as a warm-up – but Dan’s asked me to mention that the Cell’s above the ring. Which it is. And it’s VERY DRAMATIC INDEED.

Let us take a moment to consider the significance of the Cell. Is it a metaphor for our 21st Century lives? A symbol of how de-sensitised we are to violence and our own disconnection from one another?

Yeah, I’m bored of the cod-philosophy now too. Time for blokes in lycra to shout at one another!

And so our broadcast begins...

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Building Bridges and Blowing The Up (Credit: Dan White, Chris Phenomenal, Rattlesnake & Senator)

The segment opens up in the backstage, and there’s a huge pop as we’re greeted to Whitesnake, former ACW Tag Team champions. Dan White and Rattlesnake are walking through the many corridors of the ACW Arena, discussing what we assume is tactics ahead of the five on five match against the Senatorial Stable later tonight. But Dan then suddenly stops talking, as he looks over the camera. Snake curiously looks on, and quickly places his hands on his hips, shaking his head with disgruntlement as he sees who it is.

Dan White: Well if it isn’t Phenomenal and Senator.

Boos gather around the arena as the camera pans back, and we see the two men that will be fighting Dan and Snake in separate matches come Heatwave.

Chris Phenomenal: And if it isn’t the Welsh prick and the man I’ll be beating on Saturday.

Snake looks ready for a fight, but Dan holds him back.

Dan White: Come off it, Chris. You know that Snake will kick your arse. In fact the pair of you will be lucky to even make it to Heatwave, if our lot decide to go easy on you tonight.

Chris and the World champion look at each other, and let out a laugh. Dan isn’t particularly fond of being laughed at, and neither would you, I suppose.

Senator Steve Phillips: Please. Dan, you only got this shot by virtue of a fluke. Why are you not at home, crying over how you failed to win Fallen Heroes 2009? It took you long enough to get over that, did it not? How many times did we have to hear you saying that you were planning to leave?

Dan White: Well, you know, I could say the same for you! Two years ago you were ready to retire, but oh look, you’re back. Talk about a hypocrite.

Senator Steve Phillips: Do not make me laugh! I was brought back by the crowd and the management. You forced your way back after you had your little tantrum. I may have gone against my word but at least I did it with honor and respect!

Boos from the crowd, and Dan makes a lunge for Senator. But Snake holds him back.

Rattlesnake: Listen, you two! Quit this. You can settle this in the ring at Heatwave...

Suddenly, Snake gets an idea, and the proverbial lightbulb shines above his head.

Rattlesnake: Or how about this. That cell is above the ring tonight, right?

Chris and Senator: Yeah...

Rattlesnake: Well how about, we make things a bit interesting tonight. We make the main event a Wargames match!

Another huge pop from the crowd, as Chris and Senator’s eyes widen. Dan looks at his teammate, grinning broadly.

Dan White: You know, I like it! Let’s go for it!

Senator Steve Phillips: Okay then, very well. We will make it a Wargames match.

Chris Phenomenal: YEA-wait, what?

Chris is shocked at his boss agreeing to the match, but the World champion pulls his stablemate aside, and the two whisper towards each other for a moment, with Snake and Dan looking on curiously. They then come to an agreement, and with a smirk, Chris responds.

Chris Phenomenal: Okay, you’re on!

Dan White: I’m guessing Senator here offered you a reach around when you get back to the locker, eh?

Senator Steve Phillips: Mature, Dan. Anyways, we will see you later in the ring.

Steve and Chris make their way past their foes, with Snake and Dan watching them pass. They shake their heads with disgust at their enemies, but at the same time, they’re excited for the prospect of fighting in a Wargames match. On a Warfare, no less. We’re potentially going to see the biggest main event in Warfare history.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

I don't need a cool segment name f001 (Credit: The Red Panther)

Our scene opens to The Red Panther, putting his boots and gloves on in his locker room. As with all shared ACW locker rooms, most of the lockers have a few personal touches and the rest of the room is dull. Kevin "The Scoop" Anderson walks into the locker room, microphone in hand. Seeing Anderson, Panther visibly sighs as The Scoop walks over.

Anderson: Gingerdude has asked me to conduct an interview with you, can I have some of your time before your match?

Panther: Oh for gods sake, why does Ginger keep telling this jew'fro nerd to interview me?

Anderson: He said it makes good TV, duh.

Panther backhands Anderson lightly to silence him.

Panther: Kevin, that was a rhetorical question, now ask some questions.

Anderson: OK. At Heatwave you face Michael Smart, any thoughts, predictions or even threats?

Panther: Smart can't even beat Stan Vishis, come on! You saw last week Smart was saying "maybe Stan left because he didn't think I was worthy", well duh man, you suck. Your generic, have the charisma of a totem pole and the physique of a bulimic Chris Rock. As far as I am aware, the only notable things you have done are lose to Stan Vishis, beat some nobodies and join the circle jerk society who like to call themselves The Untouchables. And just for that you think you are above me and management has put you in the main event? I understand a good ten man tag has a few people who stand no chance and lose early, but you go over the top when you add a wrestler like Smart who will be eliminated within a minute.

The only part of Smart which worries me is that after the Senators team is done with him, there won't be enough left for me at Heatwave. For a wrestler who always talks about his brain power, it wasn't a smart decision to accept my challenge. I can tell that diving head butt you do has damaged your brain a bit, so I think it is my chance to finish the job and put your ass in a coma or something. One kick and bam some kid ain't got a father. I love my job Kevin. For a prediction? Smart comes out, trips over the steps, I kick him, he gets KOd, his cousin cries, I sleep with his significant other if he has one, the worlds a better place. OK, there is a chance it may not be that simple, but the fact remains I have this in the bag, he has no chance. Have you got any more questions or can I go and get a drink now?

Anderson: Just two more questions. With the emperor of the ring coming up, do you plan on entering?

Panther: Entering? No. Winning? Yes, without a doubt I will win. How much talent is there who can enter? Freeman? Pah! Shane Anzalone? Left after I beat him. Jeff James? He stood no chance, I barely had to work and he was done. And those were the three best wrestlers other than me who could enter, you may as well start engraving my name in it now. Fuck, start it now, because after I win in such a convincing fashion I will want it to be neat. Until then I will be training hard, to make it just that more impressive. After which I will win the world title, naturally. Now, get onto the last question.

Anderson: Tonight you face VorteX, what do you think of him?

Panther: He is more impressive then Smart or Jeff James, that much we both can agree on, Kevin. But that doesn't mean I am in anyway afraid of him, he is bland as a person, wrestlers like a hobo and is followed by that annoying Abel. Come on dude, you don't even have a real name. VorteX? You even spell it like a prick with that annoying X. I don't have much against you VorteX, so don't take it personally when I beat you.

With that Panther leaves the locker room and we fade away.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Lessons

[/color]
Credit: VorteX[/center]

The scene opens up to an empty road where Vortex stands, draped in ashen garments. It is dusk, and the road can be seen to stretch for miles and miles into the distance. The scene is one of utter solitude, and the wind blows softly as Vortex begins to speak.

Vortex: Panther, tonight you get a chance to prove yourself to the ACW world.

Vortex—who was standing—sits in the middle of the road, eyes fixed on the camera. Vortex pauses for a few seconds letting the wind rustle his garments, before speaking once more.

Vortex: From what I can see, you desired to be the most loved person in ACW. To be the most loved person in ACW you have to be the most entertaining. Tonight, you face the most entertaining man in ACW…me.

Vortex begins laughing, still staring into the camera. A few seconds pass, and he stands once more, and begins to pace the road.

Vortex: My job is to teach you a lesson. That lesson is, you must work for your fan support—that is you must work to gain your fame. Make no mistake, tonight you will not win.

Vortex continues to pace the road and then comes closer to the camera, staring in it once more. Instead of continuing his speech, he simply stares into the camera for a few long seconds before backing away and pacing once more.

Vortex: Oh, don’t be so down. I know right now you must be thinking…WHAT THE HELL DOES HE KNOW? I’M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!

Vortex throws some punches into the air and then does a few shadow kicks while the wind continues to blow. The only sounds heard in the scene besides the wind are Vortex’s feet striking the ground as he shadow boxes.

Vortex: Sadly, that’s not going to happen. What is going to happen is I will both prove once again why I am a champion and I will afford you the opportunity to prove to ACW why one day you should be a champion. Deal?

Vortex begins laughing once more before walking to the side of the road and picking up a stick. Vortex swings the stick a few times in the air to test its weight, and then comes walking towards the camera once more.

Vortex: Much like your game, this camera probably costs a lot of money.

Vortex swings the stick and knocks the camera off whatever it was sitting on previously. The camera hits the ground and the lens shatters, creating quite the skewed view of Vortex.

Vortex: And…much like the ground just did to the camera…I will break you.

Vortex gives the camera a kick. The device skids across the blacktop creating a loud scraping sound and then flies off of the side of the road, hits an embankment, causes the picture to black out, and ends our scene.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Old Grudges Never Die (Credit: G-Unit/Flower Power)

The scene opens up with Gooey Garth sitting around in the locker room of G-Unit with an open box of Oreos in his hands while simultaneously working out on the WiiFit. Counterproductive? Probably, but Jonny isn’t in the room so Gooey figured that he could take advantage of the time and snack on some comfort food.

As if on cue, Gooey finishes the box of Oreos and tosses it to the side... Just as Jonny barges through the door of the room, apparently heavily winded. Gooey, shocked by Jonny, gets scared and blurts out…

Gooey: …I wasn’t eating anything. My eyes are not shifty! Shut up!

Jonny Spade:*heavy breathing* ….Huh? ….Whatever. Listen…I got an idea to get even with Yoko…*heavy breathe* Holy shit I need to work out more.

Gooey: Oh? What is it?

Jonny throws a very large tote bag to Gooey, who unzips it and looks into it.

Gooey: Are we promoting a movie? Did we make a movie? Why did you get a Halloween costume?

He looks up at Jonny, who only smirks, and then looks back into the bag. Jonny peeks his head out the door and speaks to Gooey while still looking out.

Jonny Spade:Right so…I was thinking that we…

Jonny turns around and is surprised to see Gooey already in "costume."

Jonny Spade:...I didn't say to put it on.

Gooey shrugs. The camera just shows his head not revealing what he is wearing just yet.

Gooey: It called to me.

Jonny shrugs.

Jonny Spade:Anyway, my idea; You remember the date Yoko went on with Bob way back when she was straight?

Gooey: Bob who?

Jonny Spade:Do you remember what happened, at least?

Gooey shakes his head.

Jonny Spade:Well, listen. Bob and Yoko go on a date to Disney Land. They cause shenanigans. Yoko pisses off Disney. Yoko gets banned from Disney Land. End date.

Gooey:And this is relevant because?

Jonny Spade: Yoko won't expect this face from her past. That gives us the element of surprise! Very few people ever get that advantage over her!

Gooey: So we surprise her, yeah!

He thinks for a moment.

Gooey: ...Then what?

Jonny Spade: After you surprise her, I'll use the opportunity to break her nose so bad that she'll be stuck in the hospital for months!

Gooey: Yeah, let's do this!

And at that point Jonny hands Gooey the head of the suit and pushes him out of the locker room. They sneak slowly to the vicinity of Flower Power's locker room as they try to locate them. At last G-Unit spots them. They hide around the corner while down the hallway Yoko can be seen talking to Sarin, walking closer and closer to the trap.

Finally, when they reach the turn, Gooey jumps out in front them.

He's wearing a complete suit of Woody from Toy Story, possibly stolen from a Disney Land employee. The giant plastic head alone is enough to stop anyone in their tracks.

Gooey: Reach for the skyyyyy!

Sarin: ...Sheriff Woody?!

He even points a rubber gun at them.

The sheer absurdity of this image indeed has stunned both Yoko and Sarin.

Jonny then jumps out and, putting every bit of power he has into his fist, punches Yoko in the nose, causing her to instantly collapse.

Jonny Spade: Yeah, Falcon Punch, bitch! The perfect plan! Success!

Gooey: I think we forgot a step in it...

Sarin: Good observation!

Jonny Spade: ...Oh shit!

Gooey: Uhhh... There's a snake in my boot!

Gooey throws the rubber gun at Sarin, which bounces harmlessly off her face as G-Unit quickly flee.

Sarin takes a few steps in chase but remembers Yoko is still down.

Sarin: I'm going to KILL you two at Heatwave!

She runs back to Yoko, whose nose is bleeding...

End Segment.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Making a Stand
Jack Jefferson / Mr. Red

“Welcome to the Jungle” hits the speakers as Mr. Red appears and walks down to the ring. He high fives a few fans on his way down the aisle. Red slides into the ring and poses at the corners for the fans to snap their cameras. He then walks to the other side and motions for a mic.

Mr. Red: Jack Jefferson....

The crowd boos upon hearing Jack's name.

Red: I have tried to regroup our tag team over the past couple weeks. Both you and I were snubbed out of joining the Untouchables reunion. I figured you would want to join me and the rest of Eusiro in taking out our old stable. But I have come to realize one thing. You are fucking crazy.

The crowd roars in approval of what Mr. Red says.

Red: You have changed more than I thought. You have also been delivering cheap shot after cheap shot on me. I'm finished with that. Jack, I am going to put you down once and for all. You don't know who you're messing with, bitch!

Mr. Red looks like he has a great deal more to get off his mind but he is cut off as “Paint it Black” by The Rolling Stones hits the speakers. The crowd’s mood instantly darkens and they boo vehemently as Jack Jefferson strolls out onto the stage, stopping as he reaches the top of the ramp. He is wearing casual clothing and has a noticeable dressing strapped to his head. More importantly though, he holds a microphone in his hand; the fans notice this and are prompted to start a pre-emptive “shut the fuck up” chant. This seems to annoy Jefferson, who doesn’t even to attempt to hide his disdain for those in attendance. He waits only a short period of time before growing tired of the chanting and talking over his detractors.

Jefferson: Well it’s about fucking time you grew a pair Red. I just find it funny that is coincided with me getting attacked and dropping off the radar. Guess you weren’t expecting me to show up while you were talking yourself up as the big man did you?

Red: That’s not true...

Jefferson: I’m not finished! That is what’s commonly referred to as a hypothetical. You always were a bit slow! Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, that’s right...there is no chance in hell you expected me to come and interrupt your self-indulgent, pointless, hollow rant. Luckily for you I’m still suffering the effects of Jason Freeman’s cowardly attack on Thursday night...

The crowd pops loudly at the very mention of Freeman caving Jefferson’s head in on last week’s edition of Meltdown.

Jefferson: ...and I wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight or I’d be in that ring right now showing you exactly who you are messing with. For the record, Red, I am nobodies bitch. You’ll find out soon enough. Tonight I have to deal with an unnecessary match with Rena then on Saturday I’m going to win the International Title from Dave Shadow. Don’t get too comfortable though, when all that’s cleared up then I’m going to deal with you and force feed you your hollow words.

Having said his piece Jefferson turns around and walks out through the curtain, a torrent of boos raining down on him which are clearly ignored. Red is left stood in the centre of the ring, looking a little stunned, but he decides that he should be the man to have the last word. They’re hollow anyway right? Jefferson won’t care anyway...probably.

Red: We’ll see exactly how hollow my words are when the time comes. I wouldn’t be so confident that it’s going to conform exactly to your schedule though...

With sufficient mystery shrouding his threats and tension nicely built up Red drops his mic, to a surge of cheering and approval from his ever-loyal fans. Smiling, the confidence radiating from him, Red walks up the ramp, taking his time to exchange high fives to the fans leaning over the guardrail.


Fade to Black.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

(Title: Laying Down The Challenge)
(Credit: Chris Phenomenal and Rattlesnake)

The scene opens inside the office of the venerable Chairman Gingerdude, sitting behind his desk shuffling some paperwork on his desk as the melodious tenor Luciano Pavarotti fills his office. The peaceful sound however is interrupted by the slamming of the door as Chris Phenomenal waltzes in followed by Chloe Roberts.

Chloe Roberts: I’m sorry Mr. Gingerdude sir, I tried to tell Mr. Phenomenal that you were busy but he just wouldn’t listen.

The chairman looks up at Chloe and then at Chris who just now realizes the music in the back ground.

Chris Phenomenal: What the fuck is that noise?

Chairman Gingerdude turns around and turns off the CD player behind him before turning his attention back to Chris Phenomenal.

Chairman Gingerdude: That Chris, is Luciano Pavarotti…

Chris Phenomenal: Who?

Chairman Gingerdude: Italian tenor, he died just a few years back Chris. Now I’m sure this discussion on my music taste is not the reason for you being here.

Chris PhenomenaL: I think it should be fairly obvious why I’m here and that’s tonight’s main event.

Chairman Gingerdude: What problem do you have with tonight’s main event Chris? There are even teams, no stipulations for you to be protesting, as far as I can tell it’s a match that you would seem to thrive on. No disqualifications and Rattlesnake is involved, you can do whatever you wish to him tonight, and he the same to you.

Chris Phenomenal: That’s my problem exactly Gingerdude, you saw what happened last week, I threw the man through a car windshield and you expect him three days later to compete in a match. It’s people like you that are the reason he comes out night after night jeopardizing his legacy, his health. You’re so caught up in the bundles of money you make off his back. You don’t give a fuck whether the man is going to be able to walk in five years, you don’t care that the man could be sitting at home starting a family with Sarin because if he does that you don’t make a godforsaken penny and it’s not right.

Chairman Gingerdude: So what you are saying to me is that you don’t think I should be allowing Rattlesnake into the ring, that I shouldn’t be making him honor the terms of a deal that he signed less than four months ago?

Chris Phenomenal: That’s exactly what I’m saying. Look at the man Ging, he’s not the fucking same he once was. It’s like you’re Abraham leading Jacob to the top of the mountain but despite my protestations you’re willing to complete the sacrifice.

Gingerdude studies Chris for a moment before all of the sudden the presence of a third man is felt in the room as the chairman turns his attention from Chris to the man looming over top of him.

Chairman Gingerdude: Snake, just the man I wanted to see.

The head of Chris Phenomenal turns at a rapid pace as he stares into the eyes of his foe as of late, the massive Rattlesnake.

Chris Phenomenal: What the fuck are you doing here?

Chris turns and looks at Rattlesnake who ignores him, instead focusing on the chairman.

Rattlesnake: I do apologize for any interruptions, however I wanted to pose a question to you regarding Heatwave, and with Chris here I guess it’s going to save you some time so it’s all the better.

Chris gives Snake and then Gingerdude a questioning look as the chairman bids Snake continue.

Rattlesnake: I’ve been figuring since Chris has been saying it’s time for me to hang up my boots, that I’m washed up and every time I step into the ring I’m jeopardizing my health and what he perceives as my legacy that we need something more than an ordinary match to settle the score here. Now I’ve gone back and watched some old tapes of Chris, some of his early on stuff and he’s always seemed to have a fascination with glass; light tubes, tables, whole panes of the stuff. So I figure if I’m going to risk my health, that I want him to do the same in our match at Heatwave.

Chris Phenomenal: Easy there cowboy, who the fuck said anything about Heatwave, here I am trying to save you by not making you wrestle in a No Disqualification match tonight yet you’re already looking for something more savage at Heatwave. What the fuck makes you think you’re going to survive tonight?

Rattlesnake: Call it veterans intuition, now I propose we have a match where there can be no disputed winner, no pin falls where a foot was on the rope and the referee missed it, no submission attempts where the referee rules you tapped out while really you were reaching for the ropes. No count outs or disqualifications. We’re going to have a Glass Man Standing match for lack of a better name. All around the ring there is going to be glass objects and the winner is declared when one man can’t answer a ten count, plain and simple.

Chris turns and Rattlesnake.

Chris Phenomenal: So what you’re getting at is that you’re going to let me put you through a pane of glass, over and over until you’re unable to answer a ten count, proving for once and for all that you’re finished?

Rattlesnake: That’s exactly what I am saying.

Chris Phenomenal: Then I accept. I’ll see you out there tonight.

The final snarl of Chris Phenomenal serves to draw his end as he leaves the company of Gingerdude and Rattlesnake as the Chairman turns and looks at Rattlesnake.

Chairman Gingerdude: Are you sure this is wise?

Rattlesnake: No, but we’ll find out Saturday.

With that the scene draws to a close as the camera fades to black.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment Save (just in case)

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 1: Non Title Match
VorteX vs. The Red Panther (Credit: Red Panther)

The match starts with both men trading kicks and punches. VorteX makes the breakthrough, roundhouse kicking Panther to the floor. VorteX slows down the match to stop Panther mounting an offense, and the next few minutes consist of VorteX putting Panther in a few basic chokes and hitting a few gutbusters, wearing Panther down. The fight spills onto the floor after VorteX is pushed from the top rope. The momentum shifts with Panther hitting a Hawaiian Violence Party and pele kick. PAnther rolls VorteX in and gets a two count. Panther works with a ground and pound until VorteX throws him off into the ropes. VorteX knees Panther and snap suplexs him, creating a great fan reaction and spinning the match back his way.

As Panther stands VorteX runs to a corner, bounces up and flies back with an impressive double springboard corkscrew armdrag to armbar! VorteX pulls hard and then releases the hold, resting against the ropes. The crowd starts a "lets go VorteX" chant as he and Panther rise. VorteX runs for a step up enzuigiri but Panther ducks the kick and stomps VorteX's face into the mat, cutting his nose open. Panther raises his fist and then climbs the corner. He stands tall as VorteX rises and then flies off, slamming VorteX with the Flip Outa The Alloha State! Panther gets a two before VorteX kicks out, angering Panther, who double stomps VorteX across the back! Panther keeps this up for a while, using his strikes. Panther hits two Hawaiian Violence Party's in this time but after three pins, still can't put VorteX away.

At ringside Abel is stirring up the crowd, conducting a "VorteX" chant. This riles VorteX up, as when Panther raises him up VorteX punches him into the corner before hitting a Bane Grenade! VorteX gets about a 2.89 (I am smart ) but doesn't get too angry over it, instead hitting the Annihilation Catalyst with authority (VorteX has A GREAT Annihilation Catalyst). Again he just gets a two, prompting him too back to the other side of the ring to catch his breath. When Panther gets up VorteX calls to him, prompting Panther to turn. Both men run at each other, VorteX going for a low dropkick and Panther going for a high one. The two stop in the corner, turn and charge again, this time Panther hitting the choke'a'rana, then pounding VorteX to a pulp. Panther stands as VorteX crawls up. Panther goes for a kick to the ribs, put VorteX grabs his leg and tosses it away. VorteX stands and goes for a jab, only for Panther to grab his arm! He tries to lock in the Flying Panther Grip - but VorteX sees his chance, and with perfect timing he elevates his opponent and executes the Psychosurgery (Orange Crush Bomb). Panther takes one heck of a hit, and even with his tenacity, he can't beat the 3 count, allowing VorteX to pick up the win.

Warfare winner: VorteX

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Unacceptable
Jack Jefferson


Jack Jefferson is on the war path, although I suppose that’s hardly a shocking revelation nowadays. Where exactly he’s going is the real mystery. Is he off to visit Dave Shadow? Get retribution on Jason Freeman? Or is he going to attack Mr. Red after all? Oddly enough, the answer is none of the above. With backstage crew members diving out of his way left right and centre Jefferson makes his way towards the office of Chairman Gingerdude. He attempts to stroll straight into the office, as everyone seems to do, but finds his path blocked by Ginger’s secretary Chloe Roberts. Why she doesn’t do this more often I don’t know but today she’s stepped up to the plate.

Jefferson: Bitch, move!

Chloe looks shocked but stands her ground.

Chloe: Mr. Gingerdude said no unscheduled interruptions. Sorry Mr. Jefferson, but you’re not above the rules.

Jefferson: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! This is ridiculous. There is no way that Ginger can put me in a match tonight in my condition. I don’t care if it’s only Rena, it’s not right!

Chloe: Yeah...I’ll pass that important message on. Not sure if he’ll care though.

In a strange moment of self control Jefferson smashes his fist onto Chloe’s desk, sending much of her possessions tumbling to the floor. Yeah, I know, it’s not that controlled but normally he’d smash his fist into her face so it sounds like progress to me. She looks annoyed at the fact her photo frame has smashed but doesn’t react, which only seems to infuriate Jefferson more. This causes him to storm off while muttering a string of expletives under his breath. Whore, bitch and cunt feature highly.

Fade to Black

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Old Worries, New Beatings (Credit: Sarin / Yoko)

After the fiasco with G-Unit, Flower Power can be found in their locker room. Yoko lies supine on the couch, while Sarin tends to her bleeding nose.

Yoko: It's fine, honest. I don't think he broke it.

Sarin: We can't be too careful, Yoko. I better call the trainer.

Yoko: Would I be capable of normal speech if my nose was cracked?

Though Sarin is fully aware of Yoko's abnormally high pain tolerance, the ordinary person would be screaming in anguish, at the very least. She relents and discards the bloody Kleenex into the trash bin.

Sarin: Fair enough. Lucky for us, Jonny still hits like a...

Yoko: ...A girl?

Sarin: Yes, that works.

Yoko: Actually, that was one of the harder hits I've felt. Kind of shocked me. ...Not as much Gooey Woody though. Eww, that sounds wrong.

She reaches out to stroke Yoko's hair, thinks better of it and leans back on the couch. A rather awkward pause follows.

Yoko: So. Heatwave.

Sarin: Right. BK London and Jay Zero almost defenestrated me.

Yoko: G-Unit nearly broke my nose, which, given my nose's history, is proportionately the same evil.

Sarin: Would you like to win, and inflict an undue amount of physical pain on them all?

Yoko smiles through the blood. More unsettling sights have yet to be seen.

Yoko: Raaaaaage.

Sarin: ...Never say that again.

If Yoko wasn't injured, then G-Unit, as well as London and Zero, better prepare themselves for Heatwave, and now. She'll be on the warpath.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Vowing Revenge
By Dave Shadow and Alicia Kitsune

Jay Tyler lies in a hospital bed, his face battered, beaten and bruised. Black and blue, his right eye swollen up, his injuries have left a massive impression on his face. It would be hard to tell now that up until a week ago, Jay was a professional male model, sought after by many for his good looks, amazing smile and natural charisma. Now though, he lies in a coma, another victim of a cancer which has spread through the ACW locker-room. The room is deathly silent, the quite only broken by the machines monitoring his condition. While it is daytime outside, the shutters have been closed down, throwing the room into mostly darkness. He is not alone however....

In one of the corners sits Dave Shadow, sitting forward in a hard wooden chair, his hands clasped in a preying position holding up his chin. His eyes are red and bloodshot; sleep has not come easily to the International Champion as of late. He looks tired and haggard, a man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders. He sits, pondering on who could possibly have done this, who was responsible....who was he going to have to beat to within an inch of their lives.

So enthralled is he in his own violent thoughts that he fails to realise another person has walked into the room, standing in the doorway. She stands there for a few moments, as Dave stares straight ahead, his eyes glazed over slightly. Finally, she talks, snapping him back to reality.

Alicia: How is he?

Dave’s head whips round to look at Alicia Laureano. As he does, she notices a sadness in his eyes that was certainly not there before the attack. It looks as if this has not just taken its toll on Dave physically but mentally as well. Dave turns his head back towards his brother.

Dave: Still in a coma.

Dave rubs his eyes, and stands up, stretching himself and letting out a yawn.

Alicia: You really do look terrible, Dave.

Dave: Thanks for the honesty.

Dave tries to smile, but it looks forced. She walks across the room, and stands at the end of the hospital bed. She picks up the medical chart and flicks over it. Unfortunately, given the career she has chosen, she knows how to read the cryptic scrawl all too well. A cracked skull, possible swelling in the brain; Jay Tyler’s condition is a horror story.

Dave: Doctor says that he doesn’t know when....if....he’ll wake up. If....

Dave lets a scream out, picks up the chair and hurls it through the window beside him. As the glass shatters, the sunlight rushes into the room. Dave just stands, looking at the window, as a nurse rushes into the door way. Alicia raises her hand, and looks at her apologetically.

Alicia: I’m sorry... he’s not normally the type to react like this. Could you give us a couple of minutes?

The nurse frowns, but realises the circumstances. Reluctantly, she turns and leaves again.

Underneath the window, people continue with their lives. Some look at the glass on the pavement, the wreckage of the chair which smashed upon impact on the ground. But as soon as it has happened, the moment has passed for them, and life moves on. They hurry back to wherever they were going, as Dave is left in the hospital room.

Dave: Something.....anything.....has to be done, Alicia.

Alicia: I know. Believe me, I know. Some lines are crossed, and there’s no going back...

Dave shakes his head, clutching the ripped curtain in one hand.

Dave: This is my fault.

Alicia: No, it-

Dave whips around, raw emotion scarring his features.

Dave: Yes it is, and don’t you dare say otherwise. This is someone who is after me, Jay’s attack was a message to ME! It’s because of me that he is stuck in that bed, and you know that.

Alicia opens her mouth to try and respond, but closes it again. She knows that no matter what she says now, Dave just needs to vent.

Dave: And you know what’s worse? I could have found the bastard. I know we’ve been looking, but I’ve been getting distracted. Distracted by the wrestling and the title and....I think I should leave ACW.

Alicia folds her arms, and looks Shadow in the eye.

Alicia: Don’t you dare talk like that, Dave. We may not have the same opinions on certain things, but I know you and you are not in any sense a coward. Since when have you been the type to back down and run away?

Dave: But that’s my point! Don’t you see? If I had run away, if I had backed down after the first attack on me, then he wouldn’t be in this position. If I had gotten the message first time round, the second wouldn’t have been needed.

Alicia: And what then? They would have won. And what would stop them from turning on someone else? Why change a successful habit?

She puts a hand on his shoulder, and turns him to face his brother.

Alicia: Listen, I feel for you, I do. But you can’t let arseholes like this win. That’s ultimately what this is about, whatever else may be motivating the culprit. That’s the lowest possible behaviour... would Jay want you to skulk away? Do you seriously think he didn’t realise he could be in danger? Of course he did. Our loved ones see more clearly than we ever do, and they take the risks with us, emotionally and sometimes physically, or they leave our lives. There’s no middle ground. I’ve looked everywhere for it, trust me; it does not exist.

Her tone becomes a little softer. She takes a step backward.

Alicia: You’ve worked hard for what you’ve gotten Dave, and you don’t deserve to have it taken away.

Dave: But....

Alicia: But nothing. What happened to Jay was horrible. Now, what are you going to do about it?

Dave puts his arm to his eyes and lets a big sniff. Alicia pretends to not notice, just keeping her eyes on Jay.

Alicia: I know it’s hard Dave. This industry always is. But if you give up, then they’ve won. And they’ll think this is how they should always act. You’ve got to find the bastard who did this and expose his cowardice for everyone to see.

Dave: Yeah.

Alicia: Now you’ve got a match tonight, yeah?

Dave: Yeah, but....

Alicia: No buts. You’ve got to go out there tonight and show whoever did this that you’re not afraid of them. That you will continue to fight. I don’t think they’ll be expecting that. And when they see you, if you can act cool and confident enough, they’ll panic, they’ll get angry... they’ll screw up, and we WILL nail them. This isn’t over...

Dave: That’s what scares me.

Alicia nods.

Alicia: Me too. If you want to run away and hide, there’s the door. But if you want to find whoever did this, then you’re going to have to be strong.

A moment of silence passes between the two, as they stare at Jay. Dave nods.

Alicia: I’ll keep an eye on Jay if you want. While you’re gone.

Dave: Thank you.

Alicia: And Dave? Good luck.

Dave smiles and touches her shoulder, before turning and heading out the door. Before he goes, he stops and looks back. It’s tearing him apart to be leaving, but he knows Alicia is right. He can’t let this person, whoever it is, win. In his own head, he makes a promise. A promise to find the attacker and make them pay.

As he leaves, Alicia lets out a little sigh and looks at Jay. She notices something on the bedside table, and approaches it. She picks up a picture frame, and looks at what is inside. A smile spreads across her face; Dave and Jay stare back at her, massive grins on their face. Younger, and playing football together. Happy. She looks at Jay, lying in his bed, his face swollen, the smile gone.

Karma is going to come back around to whoever was responsible – Crouching Shadow, Hidden Kitsune style.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: I think I've probably gone insane (But that's what writer's block can do to you) (Credit: Freeman)

Fade in to Ginger’s office. What else would Ginger be doing but a various amount of work that will not be described in this segment, because it would require actually thinking about what he’s doing. When really all I’m doing is adding some filler text to the beginning of the segment, because that’s what people expect. Again, it’s the whole “skip italics” deal. Don’t pretend that you don’t assume that long italics must make a segment really good. Don’t pretend that when you see long italics you just completely skip them. It’s funny what I’ll do to get around them. I’ve done the whole “Start in the middle of dialogue” type segment because that way I don’t have to make up a stupid intro. Of course, this is another attempt. And it’s working relatively well. Okay. Let’s see how impressive this segment is. I’m going to rant with long italics, and then I’m going to do it every time. In fact, I’m going to do that in every promo I have this show. I after all, have a big match at Heatwave, right? International Title? I can’t think of a better way to rally up calc points. In fact, I think I’m really going to attempt to get the calcs pumping for today. Gotta pull ahead and win the title, you know.

Ah, where were we. Ginger was in his office, working. Now that’s really all that first paragraph amounts to, but which one looks better on the page? Okay, so Jason Freeman walks in now, right? He walks in the door, and like…either goes over to a chair, or stands up, or whatever. It’s not really important but that’s the kinda stuff you have to add in to add length.

Freeman: Well, Ginger, you called?

Jason Freeman seems smugger than usual today. And that’s saying something. He just knows something good is going to happen to him. Ginger kinda looks up or something probably annoyed at being interrupted from his work that was never identified or described. But it was probably important. That’s kinda funny that Ginger would be annoyed though considering that he apparently called for Freeman to come in here. Those hypocritical (WHOAMG I SAID HYPOCRITE I MUST BE JERICHO <_< >_> <_< >_>) chairmen. Always calling people in then being annoyed. Always feeling so superior. Anyways though, I don’t even know where to go with this, so I’m going to go to the dialogue.

Ginger: I did indeed, Freeman. I don’t know how you did it, Freeman, but I’m not happy about it.

Freeman: Now, what could you mean by that?

Freeman makes sure that the mock surprise in his voice is clear. After all, if it wasn’t then what would be the point of doing such a great job of expressing mock surprise?

Ginger: I think you have a good idea of what. Jack Jefferson STORMED into my office just minutes ago. He wasn’t happy after your attack on him last week. He ranted about you. Saying that you thought you could take him out, but he was going to return the favor. That he WANTED you in that Heatwave match, so he could get some revenge on you. And now, it seems, since Dave Shadow had no objection when I asked him, you are going to be in the match and I need you to sign the contract for it to be official.

Freeman’s eyes light up with a strange light. He has the shadow of a smirk on his face. The face of a man who just had a plan succeed. Or to be more specific the face of a man who just recently said that he knew who attacked one guy who happened to be a champion, and would only tell if said guy gave him a title shot, but there was the obstacle of a number 1 contender, but that number one contender was beaten up and then demanded Freeman be in the match and then since there was a deal the champion allowed him in the match too and now there was a triple threat match and he had a title shot after being denied one in the beginning of the month. Or something like that. Very similar.

Freeman: Well, then. Isn’t that interesting. It seems that things have sure turned around in my favor.

Ginger: Yes, they have, haven’t they? I know you, Freeman. I know how you work. I know what you’re like. I’ve learned it over the past year. You knew right from the beginning that Jefferson might not be taken out by your attack didn’t you? You knew he probably wouldn’t be.

Freeman: Nonsense. I saw a man opposing me and I attempted to take him out to get him out of my way. It just so happened that I failed. It’s nice that in the end it all worked out, however. Now it seems every party is happy.

Ginger: Don’t you give me that nonsense. You knew that if he was to recover, he’d want you in the match.

Freeman: Well, what motive would I have then Ginger? Even if I did know that, why would I bother risking it? I had him where I wanted him. I could have beaten him up further and it only would have helped me. After all, if he IS taken out he’s out of the match anyways. No reason to risk him not doing what I wanted him to. If things hadn’t gone my way it would have prevented me from getting into the match. All risk, no real benefit. You should have realized that, Ginger. I simply underestimated his resiliency, but it doesn’t matter since either way I get into the match. What is the difference to you? Hand me the contract, allow me to sign it, and don’t question my motives.

Ginger: Unless of course there WAS a reason that this way was beneficial to you. A reason that this method would increase your chances in your eyes of winning the belt…

Ginger seems to have reached some amazing deduction! WHOAMG! He seems to have figured out the solution to this absolute conundrum! Will he reveal it to the world? Will he all be left in suspense? This is amazing! Way better than Sherlock Holmes. Ginger, expert detective extraordinaire has solved another ACW mystery. And yes, I’ll admit this is one of my worst attempts at lengthening the italics. But at the same time we had a lot of dialogue up there and dialogue NEEDS italics in between. Because it was lacking up there I have to make up for it down here, but there’s only so long I can think things up for. Most likely, at least one person like the Senator was kinda amused by this and so is still reading this sentence. But unfortunately, even those people will get bored eventually. The ironic thing IS though, that most likely more people are going to be reading these italics then the regular italics that most use. Hopefully, though, they won’t notice, and assume I’m typing long descriptions full of imagery and metaphor and all that good stuff. And that I’m really analyzing the scene that is being presented on the page. And that this is the most well crafted piece of writing since…ever! And then they say, WOW THIS WAS A GOOD PROMO. This is where Senator gives me all the calcs. He sees italics? Insta-calcs. Im at like 95% quality points right now and intend to get it up to 100 before the end of this. I MUST WIN MY TITLE AT HEATWAVE.

Freeman: Oh? And what reason would that be?

Ginger: Well, perhaps you originally wanted Jefferson out of the mix, but then maybe you realized you could use him to your advantage. It wouldn’t be out of character for you, being as manipulative as you are. You then decided that instead of taking him out, you’d have him accept you in. Why is that better? Simple. Because now, you have a triple threat match at the pay-per-view, and YOU think that benefits you more. You don’t think you can beat Dave Shadow one-on-one. He beat AK, after all, where you failed. He pinned you in that fatal fourway last week. He has proven himself to be a credible champion, and after all your failures, YOU don’t think you can beat him. So you hope by adding a third man, you can sneak in, and STEAL the title. It’s fitting that you spent this match sneaking into a match so you can then sneak out of it.

Freeman stands up so suddenly it looks like he’s about to attack. It is a credit to the seriousness of such a move that I’m not even going to rant about it in the italics. Or, well, I guess I kinda am doing it now but whatever. I’m not going to rant for as long about it. And the funny thing is that the more I talk about how I’m NOT going to rant about it, the more I end up talking about it. So it ends up kinda making a vicious cycle that will continue on until the end of time. Or at least the end of the paragraph. Alright, really ,no more ranting, because it seems that the more I—

Okay, restart. That was going nowhere quick. Let’s try this again. Freeman stands up so suddenly it seems as if he’s about to attack Ginger right there and then. But then his face changes. He was staring bullets across the table at Ginger, but now he merely smirks.

Freeman: Well, I’ll tell you I’m certainly not afraid of Dave Shadow. I am more than capable of defeating him. I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree however, Ginger, because I see that you have the contract to the match right there. And once I sign it, the deal is done. I don’t care what you think my motives are. Nothing matters at all except that at Heatwave I walk out of that match the International Champion. Hand me a pen, and let me get this over with.

And Ginger reluctantly hands the pen over, seemingly hoping that Jefferson will burst in at any moment having heard the whole discussion and Ginger’s amazing assessment of Freeman’s motives, and will demand the match be cancelled, and Freeman’s plans be foiled. That doesn’t happen though, as Freeman signs the contract. THAT DIABOLICAL MAN NOW OFFICIALLY HAS A TITLE SHOT. This was not predictable at all! Ginger now glares, seemingly thinking of a parting line that will put Freeman back in his place

Ginger: Fine, Freeman. You may have gotten away with it now, but one of these days your plans are going to fail. And hopefully that will be at Heatwave.

What a biased thing for a chairman to say. But now the moment we’ve been waiting for. Will that line have made an effect on Freeman? Will Ginger have really made him question himself? WILL GINGER INSTILL DOUBT IN THE HEAD OF THE SLY FREEMAN?

Freeman simply smirks and shakes his head as he turns and walks out the door.

Guess not.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 2: Jack Jefferson vs. Rena (Credit: AK)

Jack Jefferson has made his feelings clear about this match; the less clued-up might expect a lethargic attitude from the International Title challenger, but they’d be completely wrong as Jefferson launches a fierce attack on Rena from the sound of the bell. He clearly wants this one over as fast as possible, and Rena falls back from his onslaught – but the Supreme Diva is an expert in letting her opponents make rods for their own back, and as Jefferson’s compromised fitness begins to rear its head, Rena forces her way out of the corner and the two superstars exchange a swift series of slaps and kicks in the centre of the ring. Perhaps a little too enamoured with her tactics, Rena tries for a swinging kick to the head, but Jefferson ducks and plants her with a double underhook backbreaker. This gets a 2 count, but Rena kicks out with spirit.

The crowd really starts to get into the match; two, three, four minutes pass with the contest shifting back and forth. Rena builds on her good start with an impressive Chick Kick, followed up with a rapid moonsault from the nearby ropes; Jefferson frees himself before the two and responds with a series of forearm blows and then clips out Rena’s leg, forcing her to drop to one knee. The crowd yells as Jefferson shows off his Shining Wizard, and it almost stops the match there – but Rena gets her shoulder up and the crowd rallies behind her, causing a momentary look of concern to cross Jefferson’s face. He forces a grapple and drives the much lighter Diva back into the corner, but Rena hops up to the second rope and then leaps on to her opponent’s shoulders, throwing a diva fit and battering him about the head.

Jefferson staggers backward, and Rena swings around so that she is facing the same way as him, trying to lock in a choke with her legs; realising the danger, Jefferson pitches forward and sets up a very inventive pin, with Rena’s shoulders to the mat even as she continues to hold on to him. Rena has no choice but to let go, and as she does so, Jefferson jumps up and lunges with a leg lariat. Rena ducks it by a whisker, but is caught out as Jefferson pivots neatly to the other leg; she staggers backward, dazed, and Jefferson signals before getting into position and producing his Blizzard Suplex (Bridged Waist-clutch Exploder Suplex). It’s too much for Rena to recover from in time, and Jefferson gets the 3 count and the win in fine style.

Winner: Jack Jefferson