Post by The Senator on Apr 10, 2006 12:39:42 GMT -5
Just wondering how people think my Fallout segments are coming along, particularly this one:
Feel free to criticize as you see fit, I can take it, if you can dish it out:) Are the storylines "followable?" In particular, how well have I handled the personalities of the many different characters? Do they somewhat blend together, or do they seem like actual indiviudals. And if not, then what could I do to make them do so?
Segment: Revolution! (Credit: Senator)
Coming back from the break, the camera shows 004 and the X-Treme Kid talking in a backstage area.
004: So you got called to meet over here too, what the heck is this about? I don't have time to waste...
XTK: Wait up, the note said that something'd happen in a minute...and if it doesn't, you can...suck it!
XTK executes about ten rapid crotch chops as 004 rubs the side of his head.
004: Whatever...
Bardo(from the announcers' table): Oh no, please, Fisher, please tell me HE's not walking into the picture...
Sure enough, none other than Franchi$e himself walks up to the group, with a slip of paper in hand.
Franchi$e: Hey, it'z evrrrybody's most loved homie, itz Franchi$$$$$$e, babeee!
004: Shut up.
XTK: You got the slip, too?
Franchi$e: Som'on herr knowz greatniz, they know dat Franchi$e...
??: Yes, I called you all here.
XTK: Oh, hey Marxie, you called us here to...
Joseph Harpo walks out from behind a temporary divider wall, and addresses the motley assortment.
Harpo: I called you all here for specific reasons. We are the Proletariat of Fallout! The management is changing, but the dealings of the capitalist power brokers does not concern us!
004: Enough ranting, get to the point, I have a headache...
Harpo: This is important for all your futures! You are all held back, are you not?
004: Sure, and I'm going now, my head hurts and I'm tired.
Harpo: No! You must stay! We all have been rejected by the traditionalist, structuralist fat cats in the management, and we have been ostracized by our fellow workers! Franchi$e, they can not deal with your authentic perspective of an oppressed indivdual from the streets! You represent the uncomfortable urban reality that their make-believe escapist construct and wealth attempt to erase from their collective memories!
Franchi$e: Word, homie, whatevr you jist sid.
Harpo: X-Treme Kid, you represent the spirit of youthful rebellion! You are the rising tide that will eventually wash the wrinkled corpses of their failed ideas off to sea! They can't deal with that!
XTK: And they can suck it! So can you!
Harpo: 004, you represent the mistakes they made in the past, you represent something that they'd rather cover up, and hide! They can't deal with the truth!
004: And I can't deal with your yelling...
Harpo: Let us face the truth ourselves! We have few to no fellow travelers in the back! We must watch out for ourselves, and if true change must be made, a real revolution must occur, and only we can do it! Only we can make it happen! Only we can bring down the corrupt management, and...
004: I'll do anything that gets me the title shot I deserve, and if it gets you to shut up, I suppose I'm definatly in.
XTK: If this means that we're telling them to suck it, I'm in!
Franchi$e: Allllllllllll, righty, den, if Franchi$$$$$e gitz 2 rulle lik only I can, I'm in! Yu say u want a REVOLUTION!
Harpo and the three others all shake hands, 004 going off to find some asparin(and some sleep), XTK hitting a crotch chop and running off, while Franchi$e flashes "gangsta" hand signals as he walks off.
What will become of this decidedly bizarre group? Only time will tell...
Fade Out
Coming back from the break, the camera shows 004 and the X-Treme Kid talking in a backstage area.
004: So you got called to meet over here too, what the heck is this about? I don't have time to waste...
XTK: Wait up, the note said that something'd happen in a minute...and if it doesn't, you can...suck it!
XTK executes about ten rapid crotch chops as 004 rubs the side of his head.
004: Whatever...
Bardo(from the announcers' table): Oh no, please, Fisher, please tell me HE's not walking into the picture...
Sure enough, none other than Franchi$e himself walks up to the group, with a slip of paper in hand.
Franchi$e: Hey, it'z evrrrybody's most loved homie, itz Franchi$$$$$$e, babeee!
004: Shut up.
XTK: You got the slip, too?
Franchi$e: Som'on herr knowz greatniz, they know dat Franchi$e...
??: Yes, I called you all here.
XTK: Oh, hey Marxie, you called us here to...
Joseph Harpo walks out from behind a temporary divider wall, and addresses the motley assortment.
Harpo: I called you all here for specific reasons. We are the Proletariat of Fallout! The management is changing, but the dealings of the capitalist power brokers does not concern us!
004: Enough ranting, get to the point, I have a headache...
Harpo: This is important for all your futures! You are all held back, are you not?
004: Sure, and I'm going now, my head hurts and I'm tired.
Harpo: No! You must stay! We all have been rejected by the traditionalist, structuralist fat cats in the management, and we have been ostracized by our fellow workers! Franchi$e, they can not deal with your authentic perspective of an oppressed indivdual from the streets! You represent the uncomfortable urban reality that their make-believe escapist construct and wealth attempt to erase from their collective memories!
Franchi$e: Word, homie, whatevr you jist sid.
Harpo: X-Treme Kid, you represent the spirit of youthful rebellion! You are the rising tide that will eventually wash the wrinkled corpses of their failed ideas off to sea! They can't deal with that!
XTK: And they can suck it! So can you!
Harpo: 004, you represent the mistakes they made in the past, you represent something that they'd rather cover up, and hide! They can't deal with the truth!
004: And I can't deal with your yelling...
Harpo: Let us face the truth ourselves! We have few to no fellow travelers in the back! We must watch out for ourselves, and if true change must be made, a real revolution must occur, and only we can do it! Only we can make it happen! Only we can bring down the corrupt management, and...
004: I'll do anything that gets me the title shot I deserve, and if it gets you to shut up, I suppose I'm definatly in.
XTK: If this means that we're telling them to suck it, I'm in!
Franchi$e: Allllllllllll, righty, den, if Franchi$$$$$e gitz 2 rulle lik only I can, I'm in! Yu say u want a REVOLUTION!
Harpo and the three others all shake hands, 004 going off to find some asparin(and some sleep), XTK hitting a crotch chop and running off, while Franchi$e flashes "gangsta" hand signals as he walks off.
What will become of this decidedly bizarre group? Only time will tell...
Fade Out
Feel free to criticize as you see fit, I can take it, if you can dish it out:) Are the storylines "followable?" In particular, how well have I handled the personalities of the many different characters? Do they somewhat blend together, or do they seem like actual indiviudals. And if not, then what could I do to make them do so?
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