Post by bryce on Oct 31, 2008 11:14:47 GMT -5
Well it's long overdue; Bryce = Jon Taylor.
No surprises there, eh? I know most, if not everyone suspected it, but I figured it was time to finally confirm it. It's been fun writing as Bryce these past couple of months, but the fact is there is only one character that I can excel with, and Bryce isn't it.
Anyway, despite what I may have stupidly said before my banning, I'd like to thank everyone who has made the past couple of months enjoyable. I know I shouldn't of deceived everyone, but I just wanted the chance to co-exist without the conflict I experienced as Taylor (all due to me of course). I'd like to thank Hitman/XS3 for being a great feud partner for this month, as embarrassing as it may be I don't think I successfully completed one feud as Taylor in 7 or so months.
Anyway, that's about it, I feel I owe you all some sort of explanation for what actually went down and all the shit I caused earlier in the year, so below is what I sent to Senator/The mods (don't know if he passed it on but oh well).
I shall be awaiting the ban hammer again
Right. These past few weeks I have been lurking the boards frequently, but more importantly I've been reading the topics from around last December up until the end May. I've spent the past few months just bouncing around from fed to fed, but I still cannot find one that has come anywhere near close to ACW. The problem is I never will.
It's fun thinking back to October-December last year, thinking about the praise I received and the amount of fun I was having. I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the line I began to let the praise go to my head, I became big headed if you will. Of course you know, I developed quite the ego. Still, I marched on until around the beginning of February, which by now I had already rubbed quite a few people the wrong way, until I lost the IN to FSX. That was when I suffered quite a blow, I became confused to how I had lost, and was also becoming surprised/disheartened that I wasn't seem receiving the same recognition or praise as I was at the start of my time in ACW. I tried to brush it all off and carry on, but that was probably when I started writing purely for calcs.
I didn't really care as much as if I was enjoying it (like I should of) but I just wanted to win. As the March/April rolled in I made the very miscalculating decision to write "the adventures of lou" and to turn Taylor into the Ultimate Competitor, to which I received a reaction I wasn't quite used to; a negative one. With the ego and winning complex I had developed I didn't know how to handle this, and in my own way tried to lash back but only succeeded in making the majority of the roster hate me. Of course, the manner of which The Second Coming came together didn't help either.
In the next month or so I carried on, going through the motions of writing. By now I had cut all ties with everyone with my behaviour, other than FSX and Showtime. I'm still amazed that we were still on speaking terms then, let alone writing terms. I began to see what effects my behaviour was having on my progress in the e-fed (well, not really, if I'm honest), and kept digging my grave deeper and deeper by provoking people as well as retaliating at times; most notably to Mainer and Steele.
Then of course I left, though I had no intention to. I had begun to realise what situation I had put myself in, and truly had no idea how to get out of it. It was then very much so under ill-judgement I became troll-like and started a topic openly attacking BK for no reason whatsoever. Which led to my banning...though that was a long time coming.
Apologies for the long windedness...but I'm going somewhere with this. See, if I'm honest the last time I really enjoyed writing was December 07. Sure, I had my moments throughout but really, that was the last time that it felt that I wasn't against most people. From March onwards I wasn't even writing in-character! Taylor was effectively me just shooting on people. Looking bad now I really can't explain why I behaved so appalling, but it is just so embarrassing looking at my posts from January-May. I was being a complete and utter prick to everyone, no exceptions. I guess a good saying to add in here would be that you don't know what you have until it's gone...and that rings very true there; the biggest thing that made me commit to ACW properly in the first place was that everyone just seemed to be in one big, happy family. And it just seems that I tried to do everything I could to cause conflict.
I'm ashamed to look at how I acted...and can now understand just why people reacted the way they did. I accept that I fully deserved to be banned, and really I should just accept my punishment and carry on with my e-fedding career (lol..) elsewhere - but the thing is I can't. I look back to what I achieved here in ACW, and as far as I'm concerned everything past you dropping the IN to mewas terrible. I was writing for the all the reasons and now I can see that. But thing is; the other people can't. They all hate me (or at least strong dislike me) and I don't blame them; hell I would do to. They all just view Jon Taylor as someone who they don't want to be associated with; they all just want to think of Jon Taylor as someone who wants to cause conflict. The thing is, they never really saw the real Jon Taylor after I won the IN. All they saw is an egotistical, conflictful arrogant son of a bitch. And I want to change that. I don't want to be known as the one of only two people to be banned and I sure as hell don't want to be remembered as the butt of all jokes. No. I want to show everyone really just what I can do; I want to show them the potential I displayed at the start of my time in ACW.
I know some may never want to forgive me for the conflict I caused, but I just want the chance to show everyone really what Jon Taylor can do when he's focused on writing for fun; not for calcs. I want the chance to be able to change everyone's opinion of me. I feel like I've matured as a person over the past few months and now can walk away from possible conflicts and keep my mouth shut.
Look, I know I don't deserve it and probably will never get it, but I just want the chance to show everyone what I really can offer as a writer; not as a troll. I know I have said a lot of stuff in my time in ACW, and I've talked a lot of shit, but believe me when I say that I've changed. I just want that chance to show people the real Jon Taylor, and I willing to do whatever I have to do to prove that I deserve it. Hell, if you're worried about me causing conflict then take away the posting privileges of an account so I can only PM segments.
Well, that's it. Sorry the long and boring read, but I felt it my duty to sort of explain in a way (though it wasn't exactly explainable) what happened. I would like to offer my sincerest and deepest apologies to everyone for the way I acted, and for my dreadful and appalling behaviour.
Sorry for taking up your valuable time.
Jon Taylor.
No surprises there, eh? I know most, if not everyone suspected it, but I figured it was time to finally confirm it. It's been fun writing as Bryce these past couple of months, but the fact is there is only one character that I can excel with, and Bryce isn't it.
Anyway, despite what I may have stupidly said before my banning, I'd like to thank everyone who has made the past couple of months enjoyable. I know I shouldn't of deceived everyone, but I just wanted the chance to co-exist without the conflict I experienced as Taylor (all due to me of course). I'd like to thank Hitman/XS3 for being a great feud partner for this month, as embarrassing as it may be I don't think I successfully completed one feud as Taylor in 7 or so months.
Anyway, that's about it, I feel I owe you all some sort of explanation for what actually went down and all the shit I caused earlier in the year, so below is what I sent to Senator/The mods (don't know if he passed it on but oh well).
I shall be awaiting the ban hammer again
Right. These past few weeks I have been lurking the boards frequently, but more importantly I've been reading the topics from around last December up until the end May. I've spent the past few months just bouncing around from fed to fed, but I still cannot find one that has come anywhere near close to ACW. The problem is I never will.
It's fun thinking back to October-December last year, thinking about the praise I received and the amount of fun I was having. I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the line I began to let the praise go to my head, I became big headed if you will. Of course you know, I developed quite the ego. Still, I marched on until around the beginning of February, which by now I had already rubbed quite a few people the wrong way, until I lost the IN to FSX. That was when I suffered quite a blow, I became confused to how I had lost, and was also becoming surprised/disheartened that I wasn't seem receiving the same recognition or praise as I was at the start of my time in ACW. I tried to brush it all off and carry on, but that was probably when I started writing purely for calcs.
I didn't really care as much as if I was enjoying it (like I should of) but I just wanted to win. As the March/April rolled in I made the very miscalculating decision to write "the adventures of lou" and to turn Taylor into the Ultimate Competitor, to which I received a reaction I wasn't quite used to; a negative one. With the ego and winning complex I had developed I didn't know how to handle this, and in my own way tried to lash back but only succeeded in making the majority of the roster hate me. Of course, the manner of which The Second Coming came together didn't help either.
In the next month or so I carried on, going through the motions of writing. By now I had cut all ties with everyone with my behaviour, other than FSX and Showtime. I'm still amazed that we were still on speaking terms then, let alone writing terms. I began to see what effects my behaviour was having on my progress in the e-fed (well, not really, if I'm honest), and kept digging my grave deeper and deeper by provoking people as well as retaliating at times; most notably to Mainer and Steele.
Then of course I left, though I had no intention to. I had begun to realise what situation I had put myself in, and truly had no idea how to get out of it. It was then very much so under ill-judgement I became troll-like and started a topic openly attacking BK for no reason whatsoever. Which led to my banning...though that was a long time coming.
Apologies for the long windedness...but I'm going somewhere with this. See, if I'm honest the last time I really enjoyed writing was December 07. Sure, I had my moments throughout but really, that was the last time that it felt that I wasn't against most people. From March onwards I wasn't even writing in-character! Taylor was effectively me just shooting on people. Looking bad now I really can't explain why I behaved so appalling, but it is just so embarrassing looking at my posts from January-May. I was being a complete and utter prick to everyone, no exceptions. I guess a good saying to add in here would be that you don't know what you have until it's gone...and that rings very true there; the biggest thing that made me commit to ACW properly in the first place was that everyone just seemed to be in one big, happy family. And it just seems that I tried to do everything I could to cause conflict.
I'm ashamed to look at how I acted...and can now understand just why people reacted the way they did. I accept that I fully deserved to be banned, and really I should just accept my punishment and carry on with my e-fedding career (lol..) elsewhere - but the thing is I can't. I look back to what I achieved here in ACW, and as far as I'm concerned everything past you dropping the IN to mewas terrible. I was writing for the all the reasons and now I can see that. But thing is; the other people can't. They all hate me (or at least strong dislike me) and I don't blame them; hell I would do to. They all just view Jon Taylor as someone who they don't want to be associated with; they all just want to think of Jon Taylor as someone who wants to cause conflict. The thing is, they never really saw the real Jon Taylor after I won the IN. All they saw is an egotistical, conflictful arrogant son of a bitch. And I want to change that. I don't want to be known as the one of only two people to be banned and I sure as hell don't want to be remembered as the butt of all jokes. No. I want to show everyone really just what I can do; I want to show them the potential I displayed at the start of my time in ACW.
I know some may never want to forgive me for the conflict I caused, but I just want the chance to show everyone really what Jon Taylor can do when he's focused on writing for fun; not for calcs. I want the chance to be able to change everyone's opinion of me. I feel like I've matured as a person over the past few months and now can walk away from possible conflicts and keep my mouth shut.
Look, I know I don't deserve it and probably will never get it, but I just want the chance to show everyone what I really can offer as a writer; not as a troll. I know I have said a lot of stuff in my time in ACW, and I've talked a lot of shit, but believe me when I say that I've changed. I just want that chance to show people the real Jon Taylor, and I willing to do whatever I have to do to prove that I deserve it. Hell, if you're worried about me causing conflict then take away the posting privileges of an account so I can only PM segments.
Well, that's it. Sorry the long and boring read, but I felt it my duty to sort of explain in a way (though it wasn't exactly explainable) what happened. I would like to offer my sincerest and deepest apologies to everyone for the way I acted, and for my dreadful and appalling behaviour.
Sorry for taking up your valuable time.
Jon Taylor.