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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:49:36 GMT -5
Hunter drops his shoulder as AK comes steaming in, and the pair clash like stags with attitude, bouncing back off of one another, and then colliding again as Hunter does for an uppercut, and AK a kick. They back off slightly, but then get in close and grapple; Hunter pushes AK back, and with a flick of her wrists and feet AK turns things around so that Hunter is up against the ropes. In response, Hunter pulls her close and delivers a couple of knees to the gut, then a pristine stalling suplex which makes the ring shudder. AK drops down next to the ropes, and as Hunter gets close to put the boot in, AK has to roll to the outside. She has no sooner done this than Hunter draws a line in the sand by leaping up and executing the Equinox (Forward flip into an elbow drop from the top rope) to the outside, striking her before she can stand up.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Oooow, I felt that one.
Maxwell McNally: A risky choice, but effective, certainly. Hunter’s got the dilemma of needing to win here, but one mistake and it could be all over.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Hehe, I think we can all guess which option Hunter favours.
The first 10 count commences as AK and Hunter get up, and trade a selection of blows. AK retreats back to the crowd barrier, and several fans have to dodge as Hunter blithely ignores them and continues to throw punches left and right (not that they seem to object). The count hits four, when AK makes her move; slipping past Hunter, she gambles a lot of energy to carry off a german suplex on her much larger and heavier opponent, with the payoff being that Hunter certainly doesn’t see that one coming. As they both roll over, AK catches hold of Hunter’s ankle and applies the Catch-22, hooking her arm around the security barrier for extra effect. Hunter grits his teeth and tries to escape, but AK holds on with great determination, running down the clock.
5…
6…
7…
8-
At the eight mark, either AK loses her nerve, or Hunter’s efforts to escape become too great; she lets go, and slides back into the ring. Hunter uses the ring apron to pull himself up – his ankle by now is pretty painful, but he ignores it and meets AK face-to-face as he tries to re-enter. As RAF calls “9”, Hunter succeeds in landing an elbow strike to his opponent’s temple, as is able to hop over the ropes to reset the count.
Maxwell McNally: That was close… AK’s strategy makes sense, but it’s going to cost her a lot in energy terms.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Yeah, on the outside, Hunter can do a lot of damage fast, and she’s going to have to go there to get the fall. This one’s way up in the air.
Thoughts of getting the countout have to take second place to staying out of trouble for AK, as Hunter opens the taps and brings the full force of his punches to bear. He seems to have a different strategy this time round, however; rather than trying to get AK to the outside, he keeps things dead centre, and pulls off a scoop slam and then a spinebuster when AK tries to get some speed up. Finding herself unable to dictate the pace of the match, AK backs off to regather some of her energy. Hunter has other plans, and traps her in the corner, laying into her with body blows; but AK won’t simply take such a situation, and she uses the corner ropes to get some elevation, smashing Hunter back with a huge guillotine kick. As Hunter reels against the ropes, AK whips around while he is off-balance, and Hunter tips over the top. He holds the rope and ends up standing on the opposite side, but it still counts as “outside” the ring, and a second 10 count begins.
Hunter moves quickly along the apron, AK shadowing him, and a fascinating sequence occurs as Hunter repeatedly tries to get back in, and AK repels him with simple but effective shoves and kicks. At the five mark, Hunter makes a breakthrough and hooks AK under the arms, moving to throw her to the outside – but AK clutches the bottom rope with her ankles, and strains to hold on as Hunter leans back, forcing her to hold his entire weight. The situation hangs until seven… and then Hunter’s weight becomes too much, and AK topples over, crashing down. She actually lands on top of Hunter, but he shrugs it off and scrambles back into the ring, resetting the count. AK takes a second or two to get up, and eyes Hunter, who is now strutting around like the king of his particular castle.
Maxwell McNally: The situation reverses… now can Alicia get back into the ring when Hunter has the prime position to defend it?
AK paces on the outside; the crowd is getting noisy, and Hunter cockily beckons her to come and have a go. AK gathers her wits, and then dashes halfway around the ring; she jumps up and Hunter rushes to block her. Not giving up, AK jumps down again and speeds around to the next side; Hunter has a lesser distance to travel and again makes the save, but is a tiny bit slower. The count continues inexorably, and AK holds her cool and her nerve; she keeps flashing back and forth, leaping on and off the apron so that Hunter has to rocket around the ring like a pinball to keep up; the count is a split second away from 9 when AK finally spots the gap she needs, and charges with full commitment – at the barrier opposite the ring. She jumps on to it, and from there on to the middle rope with a mighty leap; the crowd inhales sharply, and then roars as she makes it, and springboards clean over Hunter to land in a crouch, breathing hard.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Whooo! That looked awesome!
Maxwell McNally: Indeed it did, but AK looks worn from all that dashing about. Mind you, so does Hunter…
Both competitors could do with a pause, but neither gets one; Hunter bears down on AK with frightening speed, and batters her back against the ropes. They clearly have the same idea, as they bundle one another over the ropes and re-ignite hostilities on the outside. With the count nipping insistently at their heels, Hunter attempts an effective KO to guarantee the fall; he signals the Shotgun, and AK responds by lunging into a wild but fast EMP. Hunter tries to dodge it, but gets clipped on the side of the head, and as he stumbles AK lights into his ribs with more kicks. The count wears on, five, six, seven…
Maxwell McNally: Someone needs to think about getting back in that ring…
But the fight is heading away from the ring, in fact a little way up the ramp. AK throws everything but the kitchen sink at Hunter, trying to push him back further and further…
"Fast" Eddie Edison: She’s going to try and outsprint him!
About three-quarters of the way up the ramp, RAF shouts “eight”, and AK lets rip with a huge wheel kick. Hunter hits the ramp with a clang; AK’s eyes snap back to the ring, and she twists and turns… but in taking her eye off the ball, she does not see that Hunter has sprung straight back up again.
Maxwell McNally: He played possum, that kick must have not connected properly!
Hunter explodes forward at the precise moment RAF barks “NINE!”, and the crowd goes nuts as the champion blasts AK with a clothesline to the back of the head, sending her face first on to the ramp. Not looking back, Hunter hurtles to the ring and rolls back in; AK scrambles on the slippery metal, and tries to reach her goal, but she can’t get past Hunter, who only has to shove her back once to run the clock down. RAF signals for the ten, and the bell rings once again.
Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, due to a count out, the winner of the second fall is Hunter! The score is now tied at one apiece.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:50:16 GMT -5
Hunter raises his arms proudly as AK looks at him from outside the ring with a disappointed look on her face. RAF is surveying the scene with a raised eyebrow, and watches as the Capitalists once again begin to spin the spinny thing, and they fumble around trying to find an appropriate last stip.
Fitsharris: Uh...uh...the winner is the first person to name all of the presidents of the United States, in order!
Kalb: No, wait, the winner is the first person to name the film that won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1962!
Hunter: LAWRENCE OF-
RAF shoots him a glance, and shakes his head.
Fitsharris: Oh, right, the winner is the person who can find a proper firearm and use it on their opp---
RAF: That's IT, we're done with this idiocy!
RAF’s yell is loud enough to be picked up by the ringside mics. He slides out of the ring and begins to yell at the Capitalists, pointing up at the stage. The fans know what this means, and they all yell their approval, while Hunter does just the opposite. AK slowly makes her way back into the ring with a rather neutral look on her face, and she folds her arms and leans in the corner while waiting for resolution. A few moments later, the Capitalists begin walking up the ramp with the spinny thing in tow, and RAF makes his way over to Philip, still grumbling. Hunter continues to yell at everyone and everything around him, until eventually Philip raises his microphone for an announcement.
Philip: Ladies and gentlemen, Raymond Fleming has informed me that the Capitalists have been barred from ringside due to disturbance of the proper competitive spirit. This match will continue into its third fall, but it will be under normal rules, and can be won by either a pinfall, submission, or count out!
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Well there you have it, Max, I guess Hunter's cheating ways are over!
Maxwell McNally: Finally, some semblance of logic comes into play!
Hunter continues to shout his disapproval, but the referee simply points at AK, and then points back at him, and then joins his hands together. Hunter groans...just as AK runs up and nails him with a quick Gamengiri! The fans cheer loudly as AK covers, but Hunter promptly kicks out, rolls back up, shakes his head a few times, and looks down at AK with some clear annoyance in his eyes.
Maxwell McNally: Seems like Hunter's coming back...
Hunter charges in, throwing out his entire arsenal of strikes, utilizing everything from the simplest punch to complicated elbow combinations and knee strikes. AK blocks the majority of them, but eventually a few get in, and then Hunter takes her in her dazed state and whips her into the corner. As she comes back to him, he lifts her up and nails the Paradise Now.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Hunter is clearly attempting to over power AK, which is something that he knows he can do.
Maxwell McNally: But clearly he still has some sort of enjoyment with showing off.
Clearly indeed, as Hunter climbs up to the top turnbuckle and does a few brief taunts before leaping off for the Equinox. AK, ever the resilient wrestler, rolls out of the way, kips up, and then grabs Hunter in the Catch-22. Hunter struggles around loudly, but eventually grabs the nearby ropes. AK breaks the hold and takes a position on the other side of the ring. Hunter slowly gets to his feet and begins to walk with a limp...until he breaks into a charge.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Hunter's clearly trying to play with AK's head here!
But AK will have none of it, and as Hunter approaches her, she grabs him and quickly nails the Spin the Bottle, much to the crowd's pleasure.
Maxwell McNally: Maybe it's the other way around, eh?
AK covers, but Hunter kicks out, prompting the fans to begin booing again. AK gets to her feet, deciding not to bother with multiple attempted pins in a row. The second that she turns around, Hunter gets to his feet, grabs her from behind, and flips over her for a vicious looking Dragon Hammer. He then sits on AK's back and pulls her in for the Camel Clutch, causing the latter to stir violently.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Oh, that'll sting in the morning.
Maxwell McNally: You think?
AK throws her head back a few times, and eventually the back of it connects with Hunter's jaw, forcing the champion's jaw closed...right on his tongue. He jumps back as some blood emerges from his mouth, and AK rolls away quickly when she sees that a little bit of Hunter's tongue is lying next to her.
Maxwell McNally: ...well there's a new one.
Hunter spits out blood and flails around, but AK knows full well that he is just once again putting on an act. She curses herself for not acting sooner, however, as the moment that she moves closer to him, Hunter lifts her up and nails her with the Mystery Olives!
"Fast" Eddie Edison: That faker!
Maxwell McNally:Well no, he DID just bite off a piece of his tongue. Guess it didn't hurt as much as we thought...
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Or he made us think, anyways.
Hunter lifts AK up into a suplex position and holds her upright, and the fans cannot help but slightly cheer for what they hope is the upcoming Shotgun. But just seconds before Hunter can hit her with whatever he wanted to hit her with, AK slides down, elbows Hunter in the back of the head, and quickly nails the Shockwave!
Maxwell McNally: Great reversal by AK! She might just have it here!
But no, Hunter kicks out. AK gets to her feet and signals for the Nagata Lock I, but Hunter promptly kicks her away. He gets to his feet and runs at the ropes, and then lunges at her for the Killer Spear, but AK moves out of the way. This does not stop Hunter, however, as he rolls out of the move, hops up onto the middle rope, and then leaps back and nails AK with a lionsault!
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Oh my, did you see that move from Hunter? I've never seen him try something like that!
Hunter picks up the weakened AK in the Shotgun position yet again, but just then, something happens...
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:51:02 GMT -5
Ginger's theme hits the speakers, and Hunter drops AK without a moment's hesitation. She lands somewhat awkwardly, but soon crawls off to the side and props herself in the corner. The Chairman of ACW appears on the ramp looking irate, a microphone in his hand.
Ginger: Cut the goddamn music, I'm here for business!
The music does indeed cut out, and Hunter looks at Ginger with a look that can be described in only two words: "oh shit."
Ginger: Where the fuck are Kalb and Fitsharris? Get them out here too!
Oddly enough, the Capitalists appear from under the ring and stand at Hunter's side.
Ginger: I know the fans don't know of the preceding events of the evening, so let me fill them all in: these three crazy fuckers kidnapped me and locked me in my office, and then used a crazed version of my voice to change things around for the show to their liking! Now the Capitalists I don't care much about, because I'm here for their leader.
The Capitalists breathe a sigh of relief and start heading out of the ring.
Ginger: Hey hey, where do you think you're going? Just because I'm after Hunter doesn't mean you're not getting punished. The two of you are being SUSPENDED FOR A YEAR WITHOUT PAY!
The fans cheer wildly as the Capitalists flail around, looking as if they had just been shot. Hunter stares wide eyed, and can only ponder what will happen to him.
Ginger: As for you...Hunter...
Hunter gulps slightly. There is immense contempt in Ginger's voice.
Ginger: ...I have dealt long enough with your insane actions, but now you've just crossed the line. I can appreciate what a "draw" you are for the company, but I CANNOT let you endanger anyone, much less me. That said? I AM STRIPPING YOU OF THE ACW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Hunter's eyes widen as the arena basically explodes into cheers.
Ginger: AND...AND...oh have I wanted to say this for ages. Hunter?
Hunter closes his eyes.
Ginger: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Hunter drops down in the center of the ring as the fans continue cheering loudly. Ginger smirks as his theme hits the speakers, while the Capitalists quickly look over their fallen leader. The PPV has come to an unexpected close. And at that, so has the career of one of ACW's most beloved and respected wrestlers. And there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Fade to Black
End of---
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:56:18 GMT -5
Hunter: WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!!!
The fadeout abrupty cancels, and Hunter appears over a simple, blank white screen.
Hunter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry, but this just will not do. This is supposed to be the Best. PPV. Ever. That means that I, as your humbled entertainer and narrator, am supposed to give you the Best. ENDING. Ever. And this surely is not it.
Suddenly, AK appears at his side, and Hunter raises an eyebrow at her arrival.
Alicia: That’s debatable. I'm certain some people would treat it as such.
Hunter: Well fuck them.
Alicia: Mmm. What do you propose, then?
Hunter: I don't know...I haven't gotten that far.
Alicia: Well...I suppose we could rewind to a point just before things went wrong, and have another go at getting the ending right.
Hunter: ...time travel? You...you can---?
Alicia: I can’t, no. But I happen to know people in high places…
She turns around to face the white background, taps on it, and a “C:” prompt appears.
Alicia: Ok. Ahem… come in, HM-1, are you receiving?
The prompt blinks; nothing happens. Hunter folds his arms.
Alicia: Arse, I bet someone’s kicking off in Chat… she’s probably looking at the wrong window.
Hunter: …..What?
Alicia raises a mischievous eyebrow.
Alicia: What an abstract question, Hunter.
Hunter: Veeerry funny-
He shuts up as the prompt is replaced by a line of text.
HM-1 receiving. What’s the problem?
Hunter:….Ok, this is weird. What are you doing?
Alicia: It’s hard to explain, it has to do with the theory of multiple universes. You might say I’m talking to my counterpart in a universe which is higher up the chain of probabilities. The decisions taken there directly affect our world. It’s almost like we’re a program inside an infinitely large computer. So I’m having a word with the person who enters the code.
Hunter scratches his head.
Hunter: …..what, like in TRON?
Alicia: …Yes, very like TRON. Only with better graphics. One sec… Yes, hello there… we appear to have painted ourselves into a corner here. Can you help?
A pause. The cursor flashes.
Hmmm… well, this breaks a whole load of rules. But it would be a rather rubbish ending… ok, just this once. I’m altering the permissions now, it will unlock the last few minutes…
There is a small flash, and… well, nothing obvious happens. But Alicia looks pleased.
Alicia: Ah, excellent. I should now be able to take us back to a point just before everything went tits up.
Hunter: Really? Well...okay, sure. But while you're at it, could you fix my tongue?
Alicia: Sorry, Hunter, I didn't take Health in Hogwarts.
Hunter scoffs.
Alicia: Ready?
He nods.
Alicia: Well then let's see what we can do here...ALAKAZAM!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:57:35 GMT -5
Alicia and Hunter are disorientated for a moment, but the sound of the crowd quickly brings them back to their senses. They prepare to tie up… and then Ginger's theme hits the speakers, and the angry chairman quickly storms out, microphone in hand. He waves frantically for his music to be cut off, and when it is, he looks straight ahead at Hunter and begins to speak.
Ginger: HUNTER! YOU FUCK! I'm gonna take you down.
The Capitalists appear from under the ring, with Kalb holding a microphone of his own. He tosses it to Hunter, who shakes his head with a smile.
Hunter: Not so fast, Ginger...IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME.
The chairman raises an eyebrow as Hunter smiles.
Hunter: Oh that's right, Ging. We know your secret. We're just surprised that it took us this long to open our eyes and see the truth.
Ginger: ...what...what are you babbling on about!?
Hunter: Isn't it obvious?
Ginger's lips are slightly parted, showing his chattering teeth.
Hunter: YOU ARE NOT THE REAL CHAIRMAN OF ACW!
Cue the necessary gasps and sighs from the audience, followed by the murmuring. Ginger slowly approaches the ring, and Hunter motions to the Capitalists, who quickly run down and grab Ginger, and then carry him back to the ring.
Hunter: My initial doubts came about when I asked you some two weeks ago if you preferred redheads or brunettes, and you said blondes. I looked further into the matter, and discovered that you had many a dark hair dye added to your Amazon shopping list, which I found with your e-mail address.
Ginger: What are you---!?
Ginger finds himself in a familiar position when the Capitalists tape up his mouth.
Hunter: Next was the porn. Yes, Ginger has an incredibly large amount of porn in his office. We sampled some of the merchandise and did NOT enjoy ourselves...BUT...after carefully looking over the titles, I discovered that many of the titles had to do with male-on-male action, as well as...enlarged male sections. And then, the final clue...the last piece of the puzzle...
Hunter pulls something out from Fitsharris' pocket, and raises it high above his head.
Hunter: We found a copy of the Spice Girls' "Spice" in Ginger's CD Player!
Ginger lets out a muffled cry of "NO!"
Hunter: Oh, but yes. We know the truth, Ginger. Which, funny enough, IS your real name...but not in the way we expected.
The fans are thoroughly confused now; they expected Hunter to take it in another direction entirely.
Hunter: Because you are not Chairman Gingerdude...you...are...GINGER SPICE OF THE SPICE GIRLS!!!
The fans gasp, whereas Ginger simply raises an eyebrow.
Hunter: Don't believe me? Well, would a male chairman of a wrestling company lack a PENIS!?
He rips off Ginger's pants in a rather impressive show of strength, and then looks down with a grin. It quickly fades as he turns his head sideways.
Hunter: ...Christ, you must really work out.
Alicia slaps a hand over her forehead, then puts it on her hip.
Alicia: This is the best ending ever? I think not.
Hunter considers this.
Hunter: …Yeah, you’re right. Can we go again?
Alicia: I don’t think we have any choice. ALAKAZAM!!!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:58:10 GMT -5
This time, they know where they are when the scene “resets”. Hunter sneakily tries to get in a quick strike, AK parries, and then… yep, you guessed it.
Ginger's theme hits the speakers, and the chairman storms out to the arena, angrily clutching a microphone in his hand. He waves frantically until his theme is cut off, and then stares dead ahead at Hunter.
Ginger: …..I have had enough of your games, Mr. Hunter.
Hunter smirks, but his expression falters.
Hunter: Wait, that’s not what you’re supposed to say-
Ginger: Supposed to say? Oh yes, feigning ignorance… always your most convincing disguise. But it won’t work this time. I know that you have uncovered my secret!
Hunter opens his mouth, but before he can speak, the Alphatron lights up with a world map, and what looks like a series of weapon trajectories plotted upon it, targeting the major cities and capitals.
Ginger: You could not possibly have failed to discover my audacious plan to seize control of the entire planet… all the details were contained within my hidden console, which you located during your supposed “takeover”. You must have discovered my scheme, to use ACW’s dedicated satellite relay and secret laser weapon system to eliminate persons of power and influence with pinpoint strikes. Very impressive… but you will not succeed in stopping me!
Producing a remote control from his jacket pocket, Ginger presses a button, and instantly a whole platoon of men dressed in semi-military boiler suits appears from all directions. In the background, someone drives an airport-style buggy across the stage, and a two-minute countdown appears on the alphatron. Putting all the pieces together, Hunter works out what’s going on.
Hunter:……..he’s a Bond villain?
Alicia grins.
Alicia: Yeah. I’ll do the sidekick thing and look fabulously sexy, whilst taking out the majority of the guards. You go and deal with…
As she speaks, Ginger reaches behind him, and pulls out a couple of nifty, gleaming revolvers.
Hunter: …..Goldginger. Got it.
Everything seems to kick off at once; a group of goons charge the ring, and AK jumps out, taking them all down with a moonsault and then proceeding to send bodies flying all over the place. Hunter jumps out of the ring, and zig-zags up to the stage, miraculously finding a handgun of his own from somewhere, and dodging bullets which are now flying everywhere. This being a semi family-friendly spy caper, the fans seem impervious to the hail, and cheer as Hunter closes in on his quarry. Ginger, though, appears to have developed some neat gunplay skills of his own, and the two fire an improbable number of bullets at one another (far more than their weapons could ever hold); when they get close enough a classic brawl erupts, and as the countdown passes the one-minute mark, they scrap their way back toward the ring.
Ginger: Ballistics! Deal with him!
One of the ringside cameramen turns to face Hunter, and kneels down. Just in time Hunter realizes what’s going on, and dives aside dramatically as the concealed rocket is fired. He comes to rest, and AK rolls up alongside him.
AK: Have you got an unlikely yet brilliant plan to foil your nemesis?
Hunter: Of course.
A Pause. AK rolls her eyes a little.
AK:…..I’ll go reprogramme the master weapon control, shall I?
Hunter: Uh, yeah, do that.
Inspiration dawns.
Hunter: And I’ll make sure the Chairman sticks around for the big finish.
They separate, and Hunter nonchalantely breaks the neck of an attacking underling before seeing that Ginger is attempting to take the high ground, by getting into the ring. Hunter dashes forward and a thrilling struggle ensues on the apron; Ginger, though, has the better position, and kicks Hunter off so that he is left lying on the mat. Quick as a flash, Hunter produces his gun, points, and-
*CLICK*
Ginger smirks as it becomes evident that Hunter’s gun has run out of ammunition at the worst possible time. Tossing aside his own revolvers, which have suffered the same fate, he produces a small pistol, with one shot in it.
Ginger: I applaud your efforts, Mr. Hunter… but the game ends here. And I must be off, to witness the dawning of my new era.
Hunter looks back at him, and puts on a debonair smile.
Hunter: I beg to differ… do stay, I like to have a captive audience.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:58:42 GMT -5
He rolls athletically aside; Ginger fires his weapon, but misses, and as Hunter gets up he throws his own weapon at a switchbox on the floor in the corner. There is a clank, and the cage hanging above from earlier begins to descend….
Ginger tries to escape, but Hunter is on his case, and another massive fight erupts, the two men exchanging slugging punches as the cage drops down. Just as it is about to touch down, Ginger looks to have Hunter beaten – but with style and flair, Hunter kips up, delivers a near KO punch, and rolls out of the ring at the last second.
As Hunter stands up, Ginger looks around, and smirks.
Ginger: Is this the best you can do, Mr. Hunter? My laser is due to fire in less than 15 seconds! You have achieved nothing!
Hunter smirks right back.
Hunter: Not yet, perhaps. But speaking of such… lost anything lately?
Ginger’s expression falls as he realizes he doesn’t have his remote control. Hunter waves it in front of him.
Ginger:……Very clever, but it makes no difference. Without the code-
Hunter presses the “on” button, and the Alphatron screen flickers as he enters a series of digits. The words, “New Target Acquired – ACW Arena” appear.
Hunter: Jeez, Ginger, don’t you know how these things work nowadays? The female lead is always a computer expert, so that the politically correct brigade can’t accuse scriptwriters of being gender-biased.
The countdown slides inexorably downward.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
Ginger: CURSE YOU, HUNTER! CURSE YOUUUUU!-
There is a burst of light which whites out the whole arena; when it dies back, the ring is empty, except for a scorched part in the middle. Alicia walks up, and sees that the words “Hunter rules” are etched into the canvas. The crowd takes a look, and then cheers as a stirring orchestral theme cuts in.
Alicia: Show off.
Hunter: Naturally.
Alicia: So, was that exciting enough for you?
Hunter muses.
Hunter: Not bad at all… but I think I can do better.
Alicia raises an eyebrow again.
Alicia: That’s a serious boast, so you’d better live up to it. ALA-
Hunter: Wait! Doesn’t the suave hero get a celebratory shag at the end of-
Alicia: NO.
Hunter: Damn. Oh well, you’re not exactly Halle Berry anyway…
Alicia’s eyes flash.
Alicia: ALAKAZAM!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 15:59:56 GMT -5
Hunter gets his bearings and finds himself facing away from Alicia.
Hunter: So…
Alicia: ALAKAZAM!
Hunter: Huh? But we only just-
??:ALA-KA-ZAM!
Alicia: Steve! Finish this with Hyper Beam!
Hunter turns… and finds himself face-to-face with a Poke-powerhouse. Alicia’s Alakazam crosses its spoons.
Hunter: You are kidding me-
”Steve”:ALA-KAA-ZAAAAAAAAM!
There is a blistering explosion once again, everything whites out, and the pair of them are back in front of the white screen. Hunter folds his arms.
Hunter: Ok, that was seriously lame. Wave goodbye to any remaining shreds of your credibility.
Alicia: Yeah… it was fun, though. How about we-
Hunter: “We” nothing. I’m taking the reins back, and I know just how to steer this to a fitting finale. Watch, and learn.
Alicia: As you wish. ALAKAZAM!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 16:01:01 GMT -5
Once more, with feeling…
Ginger's theme hits the speakers, and the chairman storms out to the arena, angrily clutching a microphone in his hand. He waves frantically until his theme is cut off, and then stares dead ahead at Hunter.
Ginger: I---
Hunter: WAIT! HOLD IT! CUT IT!
Ginger raises an eyebrow as Hunter gets a microphone of his own.
Hunter: We've been through this many a time before, Ginger...and now...I think it's OUR TURN to make the best of it. So sit back...and enjoy.
The Capitalists emerge from under the ring, each holding a Guitar Hero controller. A large television set then appears from beneath the ring, and the two press a few buttons until the classic split-screen Guitar Hero screen appears on it. The fans are cheering, both on the TV and otherwise. Hunter grips his microphone tightly and clears his throat as the Capitalists begin to play a rather familiar tune.
Hunter: This...is the Greatest...and Best Ending in the World...
Pause.
Together: Laudation.
The Capitalists continue playing the song perfectly as Hunter begins.
Hunter: Long time ago, me and my buddies here...we was walkin' down a long ass hallway in the back. And then suddenly, without warning, there appeared a shiny angel...in the middle...of the hall. And he said...
Hunter cups the mic.
Hunter: WRITE the Best Ending in the World, or I'LL SAVE YOUR SOUL!
Hunter turns back to his normal look.
Hunter: And my buddies and I...we turned to each other and we said...
Together: Okay!
Hunter: And we wrote down the first thing that came to mind, which just so happened to BEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Together: THE BEST ENDIN' IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD...IT WAS THE BEST ENDIN' IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!
Hunter separates from the group and jumps onto the turnbuckle.
Hunter: Look at my face and it's easy to tell, There ain't no Heaven, and there sure ain't a Hell, So I'm feelin' swell.
He brushes the hair out of his eyes.
Hunter: No matter what we do, the bells won't chime, And we won't be convicted of our heinous crime, What's with the 3/4 time?
He relaxes and returns back to the Capitalists' side as they continue to play through the song. Leaning on the opposite turnbuckle, Alicia is content to let Hunter’s rock god have the stage, and holds a lighter aloft during the quieter part of the song, copied by about half the audience.
Hunter: Needless to say, the angel was petrified...he stared at us and he knew he was...
Hunter looks around with widened eyes.
Hunter: ...he asked us..."Are you devils?" And we said...
Together: YEAH!
Hunter: You fuckin' TARD!
Together: PWN'D!
Hunter proceeds to wildly vocalize as the Capitalists begin playing wild combinations in the game. A few moments pass, and soon various fret sounds emerge from Fitsharris' guitar. Hunter looks at him with a look of contempt and begins to yell at him.
Hunter: PLAY THE FUCKING SONG!
Fitsharris: I'm trying!
Kalb: Hammer on!
Fitsharris: What?
Hunter rolls his eyes and takes the guitar himself, and then begins to play quickly. Fitsharris raises the microphone to his mouth.
Hunter: This is not...THE BEST ENDIN' IN THE WOOOOORLD, NO! This just a laudation! Couldn't use the Best Endin' in the World, no, no, Cause it'd make your fuckin' heads explode! We tried it out a couple of decades ago, And we called it Hiroshima!
Hunter and Kalb proceed to do their little vocal duet, with Fitsharris contributing an odd note here or there.
Hunter: And the strange thing is, my friends, that the ending we wrote on that particular night was actually NOTHING like this one!
He tosses the guitar back to Fitsharris and grabs the mic, and begins to run around the ring randomly.
Hunter: This is just a laudation! You betta believe it! And you know you wish you were there... ...but then your head would EXPLODE! FUCK YEAH! GOOOOOOOOOD GOD! You can't STOP IT!!!
The whole thing builds to a massive crescendo, which climaxes with a chord so massive it blows out all the speakers in the arena. The fans go wild, and Hunter drops to his knees, throwing his head back.
Hunter: THANKYOUVERYMUCH!
Alicia looks around, and then wanders over to where Hunter is picking himself up.
Alicia: Ok, that was pretty decent… but we forgot to actually finish the match. Oh, and Ginger’s still pissed off…
Ginger is indeed looking furious at being insulted in song. He points at Hunter.
Hunter: …oh, SHIT. Not again…
Ginger: HUNTER, YOU’RE-
Alicia: Sorry, no time for an encore. ALAKAZAM!!!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 16:02:23 GMT -5
They're back in front of the white screen yet again.
Hunter: Okay, I give. How the hell do we produce the best ending ever, without Ginger losing his rag?
Alicia ponders this.
Alicia: Well… I do have one more idea we can try. But you’ll have to trust me on this…
Hunter frowns, but then shrugs.
Hunter: All right. But you’d better have a damn good ace up your sleeve.
She snaps her fingers, one more time…
--------------------------------------------------- The world spins, and then the crowd’s roar brings them back to their senses. Hunter is being beaten back before he can defend; AK swings up, going straight for the EMP, and Hunter blocks it, all the previous shenanigans momentarily forgotten as the match absorbs him. Second-guessing him, AK twists and belts him in the side of the head with her other leg, bringing them both crashing down near the corner.
Maxwell McNally:Oh, what a terrific counter from AK!
AK climbs up to the top turnbuckle and begins to signal for the crowd.
"Fast" Eddie Edison: Oh Max, I think she's going for the Ground Zero!
But just before she can, Hunter runs up the ropes and throws his head in between her legs and lifts her up...
Maxwell McNally: My God, is he going for the...the...
...and then leaps off the turnbuckle, nailing the Alter Event for the first time in over a year!
"Fast" Eddie Edison: THE ALTER EVENT! THE ALTER EVENT! OH! MY! GOD! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS, MAX, THAT WAS DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hunter drops on AK's motionless body as the referee counts, along with the fans.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!
Philip: Here is your winner, with a score of two falls to one...and STILL THE ACW WORLD CHAMPION, HUUUUUUUUUNTEEEEEEEEEEER!!!
"No Sympathy for Fools" hits the speakers yet again as Hunter gets to his feet. The referee gives him the World Championship, and he holds it proudly above his head. The fans are going absolutely nuts right now, if not for Hunter, then for the match and the show overall. Hunter keeps looking around, expecting something crazy to happen...but all is at peace. He sees AK on her feet; she shakes her head, obviously disappointed… but the victory is rightly Hunter’s. As she is slowly getting out of the ring, Hunter quickly stops her.
Hunter: Hey, wait, what's going to happen? Am I gonna wake up with a tentacle for a penis or something?
She laughs.
Alicia: Look around you, Hunter.
He does as she asks, seeing every single fan in attendance on their feet cheering loudly.
Alicia: Does it really get any better than this?
And with that she exits the ring, heading up the ramp. Just before she disappears behind the curtain, she looks behind her and sees Hunter standing on the turnbuckles, posing for the crowd, as the Capitalists emerge from under the ring and celebrate with him. She passes through the curtain and sees Ginger angrily walking towards her. They exchange a brief glance, and then AK disappears around the corner. Ginger suddenly stops just inches before the curtain and pricks up his ears ever so slightly. He hears the crowd's incredibly loud cheers and chants, and after a quick pause, he sighs. Maybe it's not as bad as he thought it was. He chuckles slightly. "Maybe," he thinks, "in his own way...Hunter really did just put on what he set out to put on." And so with a nonchalant wave of the hand, he lets it go. There have been worse things in the world.
And so when all is said and done, another show comes to a close. So what do you say, loyal viewer? Was it really the Best. PPV. Ever.?
That's something only you can decide.
Fade to Black
End of Show.
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Post by hunter on Nov 24, 2007 16:03:10 GMT -5
Was it really the Best. PPV. Ever.? Yes. Dear GOD YES.
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Jake
Members
Too fabulous for a title.....
Guido's reaction to Taylor's ban...JAGERBOMBS ALL AROUND!
Posts: 3,683
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Post by Jake on Nov 24, 2007 16:03:21 GMT -5
What the hell?
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Post by The Senator on Nov 24, 2007 16:04:00 GMT -5
No doubt... Most. Protracted. Finish. Ever. Druggiest. PPV. Ever. Most. References. Ever.
Moment will be up in time...
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Nov 24, 2007 16:05:01 GMT -5
And that's your lot, folks. Huge thanks to everyone who contributed, and especially Hunter, who worked incredibly hard to put his stamp on this November PPV. Party on, dude.
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Post by jonnyomega on Nov 24, 2007 16:07:45 GMT -5
AK's quote under her avatar is right. There was a twist in the tale and I'm sill confused.
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