Thursday Night Meltdown 9th August 2007

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 3: Jonny Spade vs Scott Andrews (Credit: Hunter)

I'm fairly certain that by now you all realize that both men have nothing to lose, something to gain/prove, et cetera, so let's skip that foreplay and start with *BAM* clothesline from Scott. Jonny instantly recovered, and proceeded to ram into Scott with a flurry of punches, which he completed after a staggering dropkick. Scott quickly recovered and hit Jonny with a few middle kicks, and then nailed a fisherman suplex pin, although the latter part of the move was unsuccessful. Jonny rose and attempted to get in some offense, but Scott instantly charged in and rolled him up, and then surprisingly turned that pin into a single leg Boston crab. The fans applauded his speed and efficiency, but they promptly ceased once Jonny was able to crawl over and reach the ropes. Scott lifted him up for only-Lord-knows-what, as Jonny was able to nail a quick spinebuster to turn the match into his favor. At about this time, Adrian Flamingo randomly appeared in the crowd and walked up to the front row, holding a sign with the incredibly subtle message of "Scott Andrews Has A Small Penis!!!" Scott slowly rose to his feet, and when distracted by this, Jonny was able to capitalize with a quick German suplex out of nowhere.

Jonny kept the match in his favor for a pleasantly long period of time, and was able to significantly weaken Scott, and particularly his agility. One of the final blows to this was the Pumphandle Schwein, which definitely hurt Scott's back quite...a lot, let's say. Scott was not one to back down, however, and quickly charged into Jonny when the latter had his back turned to him. He then lifted him up, back first, onto the top turnbuckle, climbed up, and nailed a spider German suplex. The fans applaud enthusiastically, as they knew precisely what would come next. It would seem, however, that Flamingo did too. As Scott lept off for the Heatseaker, Flamingo yelled out "HEATSEEKER," and Jonny was able to spin out of the way, and when Scott landed on his feet, Jonny lifted him up and nailed him with a powerbomb, and then another powerbomb...but as he set Scott up for the Samoan driver, Scott pulled him back into a crucifix pin...for a two count. Flamingo proceeded to laugh.

By now the fans were incredibly into the match, fully impressed by what they saw from both men...although they were irked by Flamingo's presence. So when the two of them rose up together, the fans were cheering enthusiastically, regardless of who would end up getting the upper hand. This person ended up being Jonny, however, who was able to duck a clothesline in favor of nailing the third in the famed S-Drop series, albeit it only gained him a two count. Flustered, he attempted the Jongantic Driver, but Scott countered quite brilliantly by turning the move into a jaw breaker midair, thus knocking Jonny back and saving himself from an inevitable pinfall. He rose quickly and hyped the fans up for the Head Shot (which did prompt Flamingo to boo loudly), and the moment Jonny rose he threw his leg forward for that famed kick...but Jonny grabbed his foot before he could finish it! Jonny then spun Scott around and went for the Dragon Fly, but Scott ducked down and threw Jonny over him, and then instantly locked in the Vigilante Vice. Jonny struggled around for quite a bit, but eventually he could not handle the pressure and was forced to tap out, much to the chagrin of Flamingo.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: No Breaks (Scott/Flamingo)

Following the conclusion of the Scott Andrews/Jonny Spade match-up, Adrian Flamingo found his voice quite sore from all of that chanting. Not to mention that his appetite was built up from all of that sign holding. No wonder most wrestling fans were obese. So, the only logical solution was to push past the fans in attendance until he made his way to the concession stand.

The average wrestling fan made Adrian Flamingo sick to his stomach. These “salt of the earth” who paid their hard-earned welfare checks to come watch him and others perform were the saddest denomination of the human race. There were rednecks, drunken fraternity boys, rednecks, children, hillbillies, and more rednecks. They would all stand up, blocking someone else’s view, and yell obscenities at hard-working men, like Adrian. For what? Nothing. There was nothing to gain from watching this sporting event but the entertainment of watching someone get their ass beat. It was very Roman when you took the time to sit down and think about it. Let’s not kid ourselves, most wrestling fans don’t take much time to sit down and think about it. Oh well, if America is the new Roman Empire, at least we have orgies and vomitoriums to look forward to. As Adrian pushed his way through the crowd, he would wave, smile, and slap hands with Adrian Flamingo fans, but blew off the others. Gotta have love for your Flamingos.

Once at the concession stand, Adrian paid the outrageous price for a bag of popcorn and a large coke. Unfortunately for Adrian, that was money that would so be wasted. Just as he turned around, a very pissed off and a very sweaty Scott Andrews smacked the concessions out of his hand and got nose-to-nose with the former “Astonishing One”. Andrews’ nostrils flared as a very stunned Adrian widened his eyes.

Scott: What the hell was that about, Adrian?

Flamingo: What was what about, Scott?

Scott: Don’t play dumb with me, jackass! Why the hell did you feel it was necessary to sit in the front row during my match, and try to piss me off with your cute little signs and chants? You know, and everyone else in that locker room knows, that if you want Scott Andrews’ attention, be a man about it and come to me.

Flamingo: Oh, come on, Scotty! Where would the fun be in that?

Scott’s patience was wearing thin after a hard match with Jonny Spade, and Adrian was doing all he could to push it just a little bit more. At this point a crowd had gathered, voicing their opinions and chanting for Scott to “fuck him up”. Adrian smirked at all the attention they were getting, but Andrews was staring a hole through the reinvented Flamingo’s head.

Scott: If you want some sort of revenge for me kicking your ass up and down the ring a few weeks back, then say it. Don’t try to be cute and play games, Adrian.

Flamingo: You owe me five dollars and sixty cents…

Adrian gestured to the spilled popcorn and soda on the ground and, as Scott looked down, Adrian took off towards the fire exit in the lobby of the ACW Arena. Leaving a frustrated Scott Andrews to follow suit. Now the game was on, could Adrian make it to his Trans Am before Scott Andrews killed him in the parking lot? Place your bets, folks.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Retro Segment #91 (Credit: Yoko)

Mr. Floppy One-Shot



January 28th, 2006
Okinawa, Japan
Yuki Satoshi’s Room

A fine winter day. Mr. Floppy is lying on Yuki’s bed in his “lifeless” state, but making sure to keep an eye on Yuki, who’s typing away on her computer.

Floppy log: I am still out in the open. As the months roll by, my suspicion of being tossed back into the box in the attic while I rest grows smaller and smaller. Yoko seems to have forgiven me at last, and even seems to enjoy my occasional banter.

For the last few days, Yuki has been preoccupied with finding that Stanton fellow via the internet. I don’t mind, though. I know she loves me. I guess that makes me a family heirloom.

Stanton is currently in Alabama, to my knowledge. It’s what I saw. I won’t tell them that, though. Their super hero thing is so adorable. They tossed a couple of baddies named Dark Gatogal and Dark Frost in jail the other day. Every hero has their doppelganger I guess. On their way in, Two Hands broke out again. I won’t tell them that either. The more they’re busy with, the less they watch me.

I just saw Sarin run by the door, with Yoko right behind her, grabbing her ass. I always thought Yoko might turn out gay ever since the experiment when she was nine, but I can’t stand her taste in women. I want to kill her little bitch. Why can’t she pick someone classy like Drew Barrymore? That is a fine woman. When Yuki is gone, I like to use her computer to try to find ways to speak to Drew. Yoko took away my crayons and envelopes.

But I’m done with Yoko. Yuki is my life now. There’s this American whore at her school who gives her a rough time, and a stupid gang too. I tried to come up with a murder plot, but alas, the Satoshi family pool must have been filled in and paved over shortly after the old murder. Scaring someone into a pool is pretty much the only thing I can pull off on my own. But who was the murderer, anyway? The rabbit who scared the girl into the pool, or the girl who watched from her bedroom window and did nothing? I Can Feel It Coming In The Air Tonight, you know. Maybe I can do something with a knife…The classics never die, after all. Bah, sometimes I despise this bunny doll form. It makes working in secret very hard.

In the formless Macroverse, there were no limitations. Then again, there wasn’t anything, period. Except for the weirdass turtle, that crazy motherfucker. I AM glad I was able to sneak into the universe and gain my own life, finally away from the hive, though. I just wish that the wish of Yoko’s I clung to was more than a stuffed doll. I guess it could have been worse, I could have been a blanket, or a couch.

I wouldn’t go back to the Macroverse for anything, not even for my full power. To my joy, and my surprise, I seem to be quite indestructible. There were a few close calls. That BK London threw me into the ACW boiler and burned me to a crisp. I was fine. Michael Kross tried to exorcize me, just to have it bounce back on him and send HIS soul to the Macroverse for a good year while his body was a vegetable. He seems to be back home now, though. Yoko’s family spell tags seem to immobilize me, but they certainly don’t harm me.

I guess she really was the only one who could have sent me back by unwishing me. There were more than a few times when she got pissy and I thought she’d do it, but I guess she didn’t know she could. Luckily for me, I’m no longer dependent on her needs to stay here…I have a new bond, a new host to keep me in this plane.

The sound of pleasure, while clearly trying to be kept quiet, is piercing Yuki’s wall easily. She ignored it at first, but it’s too much for her now. She closes her internet browser and stands up. Mr. Floppy rises as well.

Yuki: Ugh, they’re like rabbits.

Mr. Floppy: Not any rabbits I know.

Yuki: Do you mind if I go to a friend’s house?

Mr. Floppy: Until they’re done fucking? Go ahead.

Yuki picks up a backpack and rushes out, ears covered.

Once she is gone, Mr. Floppy crawls to the edge of the bed and tumbles to the floor. He then crawls to Yuki’s chair, climbs up the legs into the seat, and drops his paws on the keyboard.

He opens up Google, goes to the image search, types in “Drew Barrymore nude photos” and presses enter.

I’m here to stay, baby.

End Floppy log.



To Be Continued…

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Always Low Prices! (Credit: Adrian Flamingo0

Where can you go to buy an industrial, economically sized case of bottled water, a ten pack of "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms, a box of Frankenberry cereal, and the Bravery's new cd at 4 am? If you said Wal*Mart, then you are correct!
As a very groggy Adrian Flamingo stared at the neon sign that read the capitalist whore's name through blurry eyes, he slammed his car door shut and prepared himself for the sin of committing Wal*Mart. His boots scraped the black ocean of asphalt that was the almost completely empty parking lot. This tranquil ocean of yellow paint and concrete would be filled within the next 8 hours, though, as many consumers would fill their shopping carts with off-brand clothing, meat that was shot up with hormones, and country music as they waved the American flag with their chubby arms. God bless this country.
Adrian greeted the Wal*Mart greeter, a man who was a veteran of two wars and whose purple heart was fastened on his blue vest. This man spent his entire life serving his country and his family and was now relegated to standing beside a door from the hours of midnight and 6 am to greet ungrateful customers as they casually walked by. Adrian's conversation with him was short, mostly because he didn't want to ignore the man, but he also didn't feel like being inside Wal*Mart for too long.
Once inside Wal*Mart, Adrian gazed over the city that was inside the building. It was like a bio-dome that contained almost every possible thing that a person was hoping to purchase all within walking distance. As he grabbed a hand basket and headed to the produce section, Adrian couldn't help but wonder why Wal*Mart hasn't sponsored a marathon race inside their own store! Think about it, instead of the runners grabbing small cups of water and Gatorade as they rounded a mile, they could simply snatch a can of Sam's Choice Cola as they passed the soda section of the store. Need a towel? Well, just grab one as you move past the linens section!
Moving on from the sheer size of the facility, they have to have something to stock it up with. Oh yeah, a 50lb back of Cool Ranch flavored Doritos? They've got 'em! A put-your-own-hole-in-the-ozone-layer size bottle of aerosol hairspray? You betcha! A container of so much foundation that you could paint your living room? You know it! Problem was, very few employees at Wal*Mart knew where the hell any of this stuff was! You'd think that people who were paid to stock all this inventory would at least know where they were or even if it was there!
After grabbing his small list of supplies (a.k.a. the ones he could actually find), Adrian joined perhaps the most depressing part of the Wal*Mart experience: the dreaded checkout line. As if the trip wasn't infuriating enough with having to deal with incompetent employees, miles of inventory that no sane person would ever purchase, he now had to form a single-filed line with a bunch of strangers as they eagerly waited to scan their products and be on their merry way. Problem was, Adrian had foolishly chosen the self-check out line where no one apparently knew what the fuck they were doing!
So there he stood, a small basket with four items in a long-ass line behind a man with a cart full of tools and an elderly woman who was ringing up her own allergy medication. Why this woman was out at 4 am was a mystery within itself, but Adrian wouldn’t dare break the silence. The silence was soon broken by a collective groan, however, when the older woman realized that instead of inserting her credit card into the machine, she had inserted her medicare card and now couldn’t get it back out.
When something tests your patience, have you ever heard a ticking noise inside of your head? If so, the ticking reminded you of a timer that was quickly making it’s way to zero. Zero was the mystery number for most people as they usually managed to take a deep breath, count to ten, and calmed themselves down at the last possible second. For many, going to “zero” meant that they’d soon find themselves in some sort of anger management class for ripping the cellphone out of the reckless driver’s hands or in court for assault charges for knocking out the rude parent that was yelling at their kid at the little league baseball fan. Not many people dared to go zero. Adrian Flamingo was going zero.
Enough had been enough. He was sick of the “always low prices”, sick of the shitty employees, sick of that big stupid smiley face, and he was going to let someone know about it. Adrian dropped his basket, snatched a hammer from the man’s cart in front of him, and nudged the older woman out of his way. As Adrian reared the hammer back, poised to strike the self-check out machine, he couldn’t help but smile.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Of Rurouni and Men (Credit: Michael)

INT. NICK DURDEN’S BEDROOM – EARLY AFTERNOON

We can see Nick standing over his bed, packing a suitcase full of clothes. He’s packing enough for a few weeks time, as he’ll be on the road working for quite awhile.

NICK
Tomorrow is finally almost here. Jesus, this waiting around stuff is killing me.

After Nick says this, he can tell that someone was walking up behind him. As usual, it’s Nick’s girlfriend Renix Williams who sneaks up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He’d almost rather it be a chokehold when she’s angry at him, at least then he wouldn’t be guilt-tripped.

RENIX
So, you’re happy to be leaving from what I understand?

NICK
It’s not necessarily so clear cut. You know I get anxious before a big fight. And this one is the biggest of them all. My own damned pride is on the line.

RENIX
I understand this fight is important to you. And I understand that working makes you happy. I’m just concerned is all. You seem so distant. You’re off to wage war over some stupid piece of leather and metal.

NICK
It’s not stupid!

RENIX
Jeez Nick, settle down. Why are you getting so defensive over a goofy, over-compensating accoutrement?

NICK
Now you’re just trying to get on my last nerve. You definitely pick your punches. Wait until the time where I absolutely don’t feel like arguing, and then slap me with everything but the kitchen sink.

RENIX
Who said I was even arguing any point? I just wanted to let you know what I’ll be rooting for you.

NICK
Sure. I bet you will be. My own personal cheerleader, complete with high school drama. Whoever said life with you would be dull?

Nick turns around and faces Renix as he says this.

RENIX
Have you thought about what I said? My request to you?

NICK
Yeah. I’ve thought about it. Mulled it over long and hard.

RENIX
So, have you come to a decision?

NICK
Yes. You can have your way. But only should I lose at Heatwave. You being my cheerleader and all, I don’t think I could possibly lose this one. You’re such an inspiring motivator. I’m sure you’ll write a book one day. Then maybe I’ll retire from the skull cracking business.

RENIX
I will be rooting for you. I wasn’t lying about that…

Renix is cut off by the ringing of Nick’s cell phone. It rings to the tune of “Sick With You” by GOB, and Nick is quick to answer it.

NICK
Yo...Alright, I knew it was time...Get off my ass, I’m a busy man. I’ll be there on time...Bye.

Nick shuts the phone off, and shoves it in his right jeans pocket.

RENIX
Who was that?

NICK
Larry, the documentary guy. I’m shooting a final piece for the DVD.

RENIX
Larry is a nice guy. I’m sure the DVD will turn out…pleasant.

NICK
It better. I’ve allowed that guy to live with me all that time shooting footage of me in “my element” for the project. But I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.

EXT. NICK DURDEN’S BEDROOM – EARLY AFTERNOON

INT. INTERVIEW AREA – LATE AFTERNOON

We can see a man sitting in front of a camera. Glasses adorn his face and he looks like quite a spindly little man. But he is smiling.

LARRY
Hi, my name is Larry Jones. I’ve been shooting this documentary of Nick Durden’s life for about four months now. It’s been one of the most rewarding projects that I’ve ever been involved in. I have to admit, I was one of the many fans cheering him on even as he made his debut in CWE. I watched his career blossom into one of the biggest success stories ever. It was great to be on the outside looking in at the spectacle that was Nick Durden, but it was even more interesting being allowed into his home.

Larry takes off his glasses and begins to rub the lenses with his shirt, as if he has a spot somewhere that is bugging him.

LARRY
Throughout my year living at the Durden household I observed Nick and the people close to him. They were very welcoming and treated me like another member of the family. In fact, Renix has made me promise to come back and visit from time to time. But the most interesting thing about this experience wasn’t just learning that one of your favorite wrestlers really was a nice guy, it was seeing that he was human. He bleeds red just like anyone of us. His girlfriend nags him, even though she’s usually only trying to be cute. He has a dysfunctional but perfect circle of friends. They’re all down to earth. But I did notice one thing. One thing that changed in Nick over this period of time.

Larry nods his head, and raises his eyebrows.

LARRY
Nick is an entirely different person when he’s not involved in the business. During his days off, he seemed on edge. The only glimmer of true happiness came when he was in the ring, fighting for the highest of stakes. It’s like Nick needs those two sides of his life to exists. The one side where he has a happy family, and the other where he is competing as a warrior. He breathes the professional wrestling industry, and takes pride in telling his old war stories.

A big smile creeps upon the face of Larry.

LARRY
He’s happy again now. Nick is now fighting for the right to be called ACW Light-Heavyweight champion, and he’s competing at his usual high level of competition. We have the pleasure of getting the only interview with him before his big match up at this month’s pay-per-view. This DVD set is definitely a true joy for wrestling fans featuring the best Durden matches, best interviews and promos and the true human element of a fighter in his own habitat. The fact that I’ve been allowed to speak in this introduction to the DVD is an honor. Sit back and enjoy the story of Nick Durden. I know I have.

Quickly, the scene fades out, and back in. We cut to a different location from the previous segment with Larry. Sitting in a foldout chair, Nick is all decked out in his finest metal head street wear; a vintage Iron Maiden shirt, blue jeans and a blue beanie. Nick nods off screen at someone before we hear a voice.

LARRY
What does it mean to be a man called “The Rurouni”?

Nick begins rubbing the chin over and over again. He shakes his head while he is doing so.

NICK
I’ve been asking myself this question all week long. I’m still not entirely sure what I think in my own head. I have come to one conclusion though. I wasn’t born this man that everyone sees before them today. Likewise, I didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly have the skills to be everything I wanted to be in this business. After years of dedicated service, physical and emotional sacrifice and some hellacious trials and tribulations…I finally became what I am today. It took years to gain my status as a legend. It took a desire that stood tall above all the others. I was exceptional.

LARRY
Obviously you’ve had one of the most storied careers in the history of ACW. Many say that it wouldn’t be what it is had you not been around. What’s bee the most major factor to your success?

NICK
What is it about me that makes me so revered in this game of ours? Is it merely the fact that I’ve piled up a list of victims longer than the American constitution on my way to the top of the wrestling world? No, it isn’t. I’d like to believe that it’s my attitude and work ethic that has taken me this far. I don’t just wage wars and crack skulls for no reason. Hell, throughout my career I haven’t even ever really fought just for myself. It’s always been for some greater purpose. I went toe-to-toe with the best in this business to prove a point; that they weren’t Gods on an untouchable pedestal. People like Adrian Flamingo and I were the new generation coming up to challenge their supremacy.

LARRY
A lot of people forget that you weren’t always a big deal in the wrestling world. You had humble beginnings. CWE and a Canadian title reign were your first claims to fame.

NICK
It wasn’t easy coming up from nothing. What people have forgotten, is that Nick Durden was once a no-count in the ACW as much as Nick Wadden. No one starts at the top. The only difference between me and the guys who didn’t make it was work ethic. Well, that and the fact that my thick skull couldn’t perceive someone telling me to just give up on a dream.

LARRY
I feel like I want to go back to the nickname. “The Rurouni” sounds so epic. You’ve told me part of what it means to you, but I’d like to hear more.

NICK
Above all else, being “The Rurouni” has meant being an honorable warrior. One of the true honest few that remains in this company. Even after the tiff between Leon Chase and me, I still helped him ward off a foe that had assaulted him for no reason. The Rioters made things personal by bringing my personal life into that mess. I kept my bearings at Bloody Valentine and I settled up with him in the ring. Having honor isn’t the easiest path to take, mind. There are times when I’ve felt like snapping. I’m a constant target. Some bum is always trying to take what I’ve earned…what I’ve bought with the sweat of my brow. Only the truly great can let cooler heads prevail, and maintain some form of dignity. A dignified fighter? Heh, maybe I’m the crazy one, eh?

LARRY
I don’t think most would consider you crazy. You’re one of the only true good guys left in the ACW. Are you comfortable with being called a hero?

NICK
A hero? I have heard that one before, yes. ACW’s Hero; A.K.A the man who rights the wrongs no matter the cost. It’s not easy carrying the world on your back. But I’m thankful for the opportunity. If you’ve never felt how emotional it can be to be carrying the hopes of thousands…no, millions on your back then you might not know what I’m talking about here. It’s probably the reason I’ve continued to fight so long. You get addicted to the positive energy, to being the center of someone’s world. Even when I’ve been down and out on the mat, I’d hear the roar of the crowd. It’d revitalize me. It’s like electricity that courses through your veins and tells you to never surrender. Heck, it’ll say whatever you need to hear at that moment to win. If anything, those fans that have put faith in me are deserving of a good part of the credit for my career. Without my supporters, The Boom really would be just a whimper.

LARRY
Obviously, there’s no shortage of fans who want to see you take home the title belt at Heatwave. So do you think they’ll take to Jake still being the champion should you lose at the pay-per-view?

NICK
Pffft…Jake. Being a champion isn’t as simple as just carrying around a belt. This is why Jake’s attempt to take my legacy from out of my fingertips angers me so. No man will just move into the house Durden built without paying a price. For you Jake, I’m guaranteeing you that you’ll be unwilling to pay this debt. But you can no longer walk away from me. I’ll force your hand into action before swiftly breaking it off at the wrist. Jollies at my expense, Jake? You should have known better. Now I’m afraid you’ll never know happiness.

LARRY
How about a message for Jake going into the big match up?

Larry says this with a laugh, being that Nick was already going off.

NICK
There were times when I pitied you, Jake. Times when I thought that maybe we weren’t so different. I’m just now beginning to realize that there is no saving you. A self-loathing, yet egomaniacal bastard who thinks the world revolves around him. You’re absolutely pathetic and I have grown weary of playing your games. How long have we been at each other’s throats? Years. Literally years this rivalry has continued with no clear end in sight. Every time I’ve knocked you back down to earth, you’ve had the gall to stand back up just to look a real man in the eye once again. Why won’t you just stay down?!

LARRY
Jake is versatile. He hasn’t given up the cause of proving to be your true antithesis in this business. Do you think he’ll ever give up?

NICK
It’d be the best thing for him. Stay down Jake. Lie down and die. There is no more remorse for you here, there is no saving your soul. Your insides are black, and filled with tar. Your heart is ten sizes too small. Even in the game of mental chess, I’ll route you in the end. But I don’t sense fear radiating from your body. What I’m reading off of you is a sick, and perverse sort of pleasure that you’re getting from being my rival. I don’t need you to make good in this business Jake, but you need me. Without my coattails to ride, you struggle. You lack purpose. Like a lost little sheep weeping for the Shepard to round him up with the rest of the flock.

LARRY
What can we expect Nick Durden to do if he wins the day? Any titles you’d like to challenge for in the future?

NICK
Of course. Should I win tomorrow, and then things will only get grander for this company and myself. But that is the future, and this is now. I’m not dumb enough to look past tomorrow though, people.

LARRY
What if you lose?

NICK
Should I lose…a part of me will have died. I am the Rurouni. If I am defeated, then that means the fans must cheer for an inferior competitor. You’d love that, wouldn’t you, Jake? But I plan on winning. I play for keeps, and the stakes couldn’t be higher for me. You’d better be ready for me, Jake. Even if this is my last hurrah, you’ll be getting my all and then some.

Ready yourself.

Here comes the Boom.

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Rise and Fall (Credit: Zero/Kudo)

As we fade into the shot here at Thursday Night Meltdown, we see Kudo Yasuda lined up backstage with several crew workers in the background. He walks down the corridor, the heel of his boots “clacking” with every trip to the concrete floor beneath him. He glances over at a crew member and lets out a "hmph" and he continues walking. And then, in the near distance, a voice yells out.

[/center]

“Hey There!”

Slowing down, Kudo shoots a look over as the camera fades out a little bit, catching Jay Zero leaving a conversation with a nearby associate. Zero waves down Kudo as he says “I’ll talk to you later” to the crew worker.

[/center]

Zero: Hey! Kudo! Wait up! [/color]

Kudo slows down before coming to a stop, turning his body towards Jay as he walks up next to him, chomping down on the spearmint gum in his mouth, rather obnoxiously.

[/center]

Kudo: Yeah?

Zero: Look at this! The Great, Mr. K.O! [/color]

Kudo doesn’t know exactly what to make of this at the moment, looking on, intrigued.

[/center]

Zero: I don’t believe we have formally met yet! I know all about you, so allow me to introduce myself! I am the former and soon to be current Entertainment Champi---[/color]

Kudo: Yeah, yeah, I've seen you around. Just—what do you want?

Jay’s eyes pop wide open as he’s interrupted. However, he chuckles and chomps away on his gum again, nodding his head forward.

[/center]

Zero: Damn man! Give me a chance! Look, normally I don’t do this, but since I have a match on Monday night for the Entertainment Title, I decided to come to the Greatest Entertainment Champion ACW’s ever had…to—well, ask for some advice. [/color]

Kudo looks rather surprised at what Zero’s saying to him. A grin can't help but from itself over his face. Finally getting some scarce recognition for his achievements.

[/center]

Zero: Look, I know you’re not that great anymore, but—[/color]

And that just changed his mood as Kudo scrunches his face up a bit, but still listening.

[/center]

Zero: ---back then when you were champ, you were the greatest! I mean, what? You held that thing for like 200 days! [/color]

He waves his arms around as he talks, stretching out his gum with his tongue before sticking it back in his mouth.

[/center]

Kudo: So you want advice?

Zero: Yeah! [/color]

Kudo: Now, what exactly do you want advice on? Getting some manners and not resorting to being a pig while doing a simple task like chewing gum…or being a good champion?

Jay looks offended by what Kudo responds to him.

[/center]

Zero: Whoa, waitaminute! Listen, I didn’t come to you just for a smart-ass remark about how I chew gum or to ask how to be a good champion! I AM a good champion! I know what these people want and I know what it takes! All I wanted to know is what it took for you to fall down the ladder of success so quickly just so I know what not to do once I win my Entertainment Title back on Monday! [/color]

Kudo scoffs.

[/center]

Kudo: Maybe you haven't been watching, but I've just scaled back up that ladder at Seven Deadly Sins and I'm on my way over and through ACW's glass ceiling in moments time. But you, you're standing here asking for my advice, and seeking titles that I have set records with before anyone would even give you the time of day. As far as I'm concerned, you're crawling beneath my shadow and you have the audacity to question my success? You're pitiful.

Zero: You know what?! I don't even know why I came to you. It's obvious you lost your touch and have become last year's news. If you were really as good as you think you are, you would be getting ready for a title shot of your own, but...what's that? [/color]

Jay gets in Kudo's face.

Zero: Check your calendar Kudo, and you'll see that you're not even in line to challenge for a belt. What a joke! Whereas I'm on my way to becoming the Entertainment champion again and giving the crowd what they've been coming here for: More Jay Zero. Hell, by the time I'm through, your 'record' will be forgotten, and you'll be in my shadow for the rest of your overrated career. [/color]

Kudo immediately clenches his jaw and stares a hole in Jay, who stares back seemingly unintimidated.

Kudo: You want to talk to me about being forgotten? It's written in your name. You'll amount to nothing more than a zero in this business, and that's if you're lucky. If you get the Entertainment title, they might as well retire it there because it will have officially lost all value. When people pinpoint in history the reigns of the ET champions, there's going to be a peak and a trough on that graph, and you're going to be that giant crevice that marks the plummeting worth of Entertainment title gold.

Jay smirks and remains silent as Kudo forces a fake smile.

Zero: Heh, why am I not surprised? I knew you’d end up doing something like this! It’s completely obvious that you’re just jealous of how popular and successful I’ve already become! [/color]

Kudo: Oh, please!

Zero: It’s true! You’re just…so…..JEALOUS of me that you can’t even bare to stand it, and that’s why you needed to insult me! Y’know what, good luck with whatever’s left of your overrated career, I have a Barbed Wire rope match to prepare myself for on Monday! Whatever advice you may have on ANYTHING wouldn’t help me anyways! [/color]

Jay turns his back on Kudo and begins to stomp off in a rage.

[/center]

Kudo: Jay, tell me, how can I be so jealous of your so called “popularity” and “success” when I for one, am more popular than you with the fans, and two, was more successful in my first year here than you’ll be in your entire career! Hmm? Answer that one for me!

Jay halts and scoffs at Kudo. He swings around and marches right back up to Kudo.

[/center]

Zero: Okay, you know what?! I don’t have the time, or the patience to be standing here arguing with a real life has-been like you, Kudo! News flash! It ain’t 2005 anymore, you aren’t the “hot new thing!” I am! [/color]

Before he can even have the chance to turn around once more, Kudo has quite the idea.

[/center]

Kudo: Really? Then prove it pretty boy!

Jay looks at him, confused and disgusted.

[/center]

Kudo: If you think you’re so “hot” and great, then let’s settle this in the ring.

Zero: What! That’s….th—that’s crazy! The soon to be Entertainment Champion has way too much stuff going on! I mean, I have a match to prepare for! I’m not wasting my time tonight in a sure win opportunity! [/color]

Kudo : Well then, that settles the matter of whose more courageous. Looks li—

Zero: No! You didn’t even let me finish! I—uh….I don’t want to waste my time TONIGHT! But….Next Thursday! Yeah! You wanna fall to the Hero, then next week, you got Zero! [/color]

Kudo nods and nearly expresses a grin.

[/center]

Zero: By the way, bring your all! ‘Cause I guarantee, I’m not like any opponent you’ve EVER had before, and I’m itching for a fight! [/color]

Trying to “lighten the mood” a bit, Jay chomps down on his gum one more time before slightly tilting his head forward and spitting it on Kudo’s boot. He looks back up at Kudo with a huge grin on his face.

[/center]

Zero: …..A real fight! [/color]

Jay laughs as he turns around and heads out of view in the opposite direction he arrived in as Kudo is left standing in silence and anger (mostly anger) as he watches another wrestler walk off disrespecting him. Jay's guffaws can be heard from the end of the hall as the scene fades out.

-Fade Out-

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: What Would Jamiroquai Do?: The Latest and Greatest In The Advent Of Extremely Cool Sounding Titles With A Pretentiously Long Subtitle That Threatens To Move The Title Down More Than A Line…Wait, I’m Being A Hypocrite! (Credit: Wyvern/Stark)

The scene fades into a rare sight, with Wyvern and Starkweather talking a shadowy corner within the backstage corridors of the arena ACW is operating at tonight. Ok, so it's not that shadowy, but it's secluded from the majority of the roster. The two seem to be discussing things, with Wyvern actually leading a discussion, for once.

Wyvern: ...and then I'll retain the title, no sweat. What do you think of that idea?

The corner itself is away from the others, yes, the locked door to Starkweather's back leading to a service stairwell that remains locked unless a member of the crew needs in. Luckily, no one particularly desires to go down that stairwell at the moment so their connivances are unheard. He stands with his back to the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he issues a shrug.

Stark: I suppose so. It's your title, after all, and if that's your plan then I won't try to sway you. I do have something of an important match myself, if you did not see our little interaction between Mrs. Laureano and I. Hell in a Cell is quite the serious matter.

Wyvern: Indeed it is. Not to mention, it appears her husband, the incompetent fool that he is, is back on the scene, or so it appears.

A quirk of Stark's brow at that. He shrugs it off and sighs, slipping a hand back through his hair.

Stark: I actually hadn't noticed that. What's the old fellow back for, does he want a paycheck? I can't imagine that he actually entertains ideas of being his wife's knight in shining armor to slay the dragon.

Wyvern nods in agreement.

Wyvern: He's a dated product already. His expiration date is coming up quickly, if he's not already spoiling since being exposed back to the environment.

Another sigh, the doctor shrugging the matter off.

Stark: In other news. You have a match with whom... T--

Quickly, Wyvern leans in to hush.

Wyvern: Don’t ruin it. There’s nothing like a competitive edge, y’know?

Wyvern turns to face the camera, hoping no one picked up on what was said.

Wyvern: Fuck it, it doesn’t matter. These ACW Neanderthals won’t know what hit them until it’s too late anyways.

A slow smile meets his caution, and another half-hearted shrug emits itself as he quiets.

Stark: I doubt very much that they care what hits them. You kick them in the face, and it doesn't register for four seconds. Slow synapses aside, are you fully confident that this ploy of yours will work? I can't imagine that many people will be entirely content with it.

Wyvern: Nothing can go wrong with this. I’m going to be the odds-on-favorite. I bet people thought Snake was going to take my title at Seven Deadly Sins. And what happened? I emerged victorious. Seriously, it’d take an act of God to bring me down. Sure, I could miss a show and lose the title that way, but I feel after burning the old one, I’m destined to deliver and stop the aspirations of those overblown egos. So in summation, I don’t care what the masses think, and yes, I think it will work.

Stark: Heh. Strong words, I suppose. Yes, you beat Rattlesnake, but that poor addled man seems to have been wrestling with himself long enough to pin without so much as breaking a sweat. No one will really make a complete challenge, especially in that scenario. Feel very lucky that no one’s concentrating on you.

Wyvern: Yeah, yeah…we’ll let them all destroy themselves for a little longer. I don’t call it luck, rather foresight.

With that, Wyvern cackles as the cameras fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 4: Quadrinity Light Heavyweight Challenge
Jake Cheng vs VorteX

The fans are engaged with this one right from the start; VorteX has a real hunger for the gold, and he commences with a powerful string of kicks which surprise the champion enough for the challenger to hit a rapid suplex and go straight for an opening pin. Needless to say, Jake is not amused, and lights into VorteX with a stream of swift elbow strikes before whipping him into the corner and attempting to wear him down further. VorteX sucks it up and battles his way forward, creating just enough space for him to bounce into the ropes and clothesline Jake down. Jake leaps up in a trice, and hits VorteX with his Flash Kick as he turns, earning himself a 2 count.

The match continues to be tightly contested, and both men make the most of their speed and mobility to take their fight all over the ring. In fact, the ring isn’t large enough for the lightweights’ ambitions, and their combat spills out to ringside, where Jake shows off a gorgeous moonsault from the barrier, and VorteX hits back in style by shooing Philip out of his chair, dumping a dazed Jake in it, and nailing the exclamation point from the ring apron. Performed inside the ring the match would almost certainly be over; as it is, VorteX has to get Jake back in the ring and this gives the quadrinity a crucial chance to recover. A 2 count is all VorteX can get, and this triggers a resurgence from Jake who is set on wrapping up the contest without further delay. He batters VorteX without restraint, and then unleashes the Second Heartbeat; VorteX ducks, but not quite fast enough; Jake smirks as he covers, 1….2…- VorteX kicks out, the crowd goes nuts, and we’re in for quite a finish…

The last few minutes of the match barely give the fans time to breathe; VorteX just seems to get stronger, and two near-pins cause Jake to become more irate. His blows double in strength, but his accuracy declines, and VorteX waits for the one chance he needs. It comes when Jake tries to bring him down with a leg lariat; VorteX dodges, and the fans roar as he hits his Bane Grenade. But Jake is sly, and as VorteX drops to cover, Jake shifts and turns his foe over into a roll-up; the camera clearly shows Jake holding both his opponent’s tights and the ropes, but the referee misses it and the three count is given. Both the crowd and VorteX are angry; Jake just flips them off, having got off scot-free… or has he?

Fade to the break.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Split Decision
(Credit: Senatorial Stable & Yoko)

As the show returns, Steve Phillips, the Capitalists, Will Anger, Kevin Fitsharris's girlfriend(and former Fallout wrestler) Mina von Pathos, and Fallen Souls are all seen watching the current DVD on the large plasma screen televison on the wall.

Fitsharris: Mina, Mina, watch this, you gotta see it to believe it, Skurai's gonna hit his Death Valley Bomb onto P-Dogg through a sheet glass window!

Kalb: Kinda like the one I put you through that one time, right?

Mina: Hey, stop spoiling it, I haven't seen this yet, oooh! Owww!

FSX: I got up from worse...like that one time that Ridley curbstomped me through that cage, and into the turnbuckle, and was about to hang me for trying to escape...ahh...sweet...painful memories.

Fitsharris: Or the time that Anthony got muscle bustered hardcore by Cernunnos in that other cage match, hey, stop throwing those thumbtacks at me, you could hit me in the eye! Seriously, man, stop it!

The Senator: That will be enough, Mr. Kalb, and if you would be kind enough to let the people outside in here, that would be excellent.

Anthony Kalb goes over to the door, opening it, as Scott Andrews, Jason Freeman, and Hunter walk in, with Freeman and Andrews in the middle of a spirited conversation.

Andrews: The punch was NOT spiked, I couldn't tell.

Freeman: Oh, come on! You're completely wrong!

Andrews: You're just weak...

At that moment, on the television, Skurai hits P-Dogg with the 500 Channels onto a bed of nails, Mina's face turns even more pale than usual, and Kalb cringes, despite himself. Fitsharris walks over to Hunter, a strange look on his face.

Fitsharris: Hey, you were there last night, why did you show up, anyway? I thought you were ticked with Snake, and hated Sarin? Why'd you show up, anyway?

Hunter: I came for the cake.

Fitsharris: Wha...ok...

Hunter's cell phone rings for a moment, and he looks up with a smirk.

Hunter: I gotta go.

With that, Hunter's out of the door. Almost on cue, a few seconds after Hunter walks out the door, and off to the left, Rattlesnake and Sarin walk in from the right. At that moment, Fitsharris pauses the television, intently watching the newcomers to the room.

Senator: Welcom--

FSX: Aha! So Hunter does have spies watching them!

Everyone seems to turn to stare at Fallen for a moment, before Senator continues.

Senator:...Welcome! I trust, Ms. Rossi, that you enjoyed the festivities!

Sarin: I really appreciated it, and I think Snake appreciated that he didn't have to set that up, too.

Snake: Hey, even if Hunter was there, it turned out great. I do think I could have done it a bit better, though, the banner could have been printed larger, we could have used candlelights for the tables...

Kalb: That'd be rather creepy, especially with Will and FSX around.

FSX: ...Wait, why with me and Will?

Anger: I have issues. I'm sorry!

Fallen stares over at Anger for a moment, before notably sliding away from him on the couch as Will laughs. Fallen seems to begin laughing a moment later, before Snake glares at them untill they shut up.

Snake: Oh please, talk when you're spoken to, your leader takes priority here!

Senator: With all due respect, I think that a true leader would show a bit more maturity.

Snake: You want to start something here?

Senator: Nothing of the sort, I merely thought that your comment to Mr. Kalb was unnecessary. I suppose it was a bit neccesary in regards to FSX and Will, however.

FSX: Hey!--

Snake: If I'm not mistaken, and while you're the founder and everything, I'm the rightful head of the Stable, after I inherited it from Hunter...

Sarin: Can you two argue over this some other day?

Andrews: Yeah, I don't care who's the leader, so long as we're the top group around here.

Snake: And that's not going to happen without a proper man at the helm...and that man is me!

Senator: Very well then, if you can live up to the pressure, then take the role. But beware that Hunter also has a legit claim, as well. The two of you both have quite the problem to sort out here.

Snake: And as far as I can tell, you're still trying to be Mr. Leader here. I respect the hell out of you, but I'm not going to let you take away what I rightfully earned.

Senator: I merely do what I am best trained to...and I am the only one around here, last I checked, who has an actual ACW belt...and I was indeed the last person here to hold THE ACW title. I frankly do not care who is the pronounced leader of the Stable, but I will not back off and watch MY group sink into the depths of infighting and internal problems...that is what has killed every last other stable around here. If we have a problem in the Senatorial Stable, we sort things out in a civil manner, and...

Snake: Fine. I get the idea.

Sarin: Hey, don't we have something else we can be doing right now? Like…not fight? Thanks again, for the party, Mr. Phillips, I really do appreciate it!

Both Rattlesnake and Sarin leave the room, and the overall mood of things seem to calm down a bit, as Fitsharris unpauses the television again, and FSX approaches the Senator with a sideways grin on his face.

FSX: What WAS this meeting about, anyway, huh?

Senator: Well...to tell the truth, I though it was a good idea for us to meet weekly, for the sake of solidarity and all...but perhaps that was not quite such a good idea after all...

FSX: We really ARE becoming a Soap Opera around here. At this rate, in a month Hunter will sleep with someone's sister.

And as if on cue, at that very moment a voice in the distance was heard thundering out.

Voice: OH SHIT!

Senator: Well...at least we are making record time.

Fade Out

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: A Newcomer Arrives (Credit: Hangtime)

The crowd can be heard chatting, which goes on for a while, but it instantly stops as the arena is plunged into darkness as an unfamiliar Guitar Riff hits the speakers, and the lyrics are heard all around the arena.

Covered in sinners and dripping with guilt,
Making your money from slime and from filth...
Parading your bellies in ivory towers,
Investing our lives in your schemes and your powers

Hangtime sprints out, into the arena, sprinting along the ramp and he slides into the ring, the crowd staying silent, not knowing what to make of this newcomer

You've got to watch them - Be quick or be dead,
Snake eyes in heaven, the beast in your head--!
You've got to watch them - Be quick or be dead,
Snake eyes in heaven, the thief in your head...!
Be quick!
Or be dead!
Be quick! (quick)
Or be DEAD! (dead)

Hangtime leaps up a turnbuckle, does an AJ-Styles-esque pose before backflipping off, the crowd claps as he does so, confusing him slightly. He gestures to the announcer, who gives Hangtime a mic, and he begins to speak;

Hangtime: So.... You people would've seen me run in here, and i'll bet my ass that you were thinking 'Who the hell is this guy running up here? I've not seen him before!', Haha. See, i've came here from the office of unemployment to ACW, and, although most of you think that i'm new to the wrestling business, you are sadly mistaken. For those of you who have watched TiW, before it was shut down, you would've seen me before. And, to top that, you would've known that I was the last US champion there, but enough about me.

Once, many years ago, a man said that in battle, there was two options; Fight, or Flight. But, ten months ago, a more intelligent man said "I can fight while flying". That man was me. You have never seen anything like this, and you will all watch me, because I am great. Early on, you thought that my acrobatic display on the turnbuckle was nothing more than an attempt to entertain you. No. That was to insult you. See, in that audience there, I see people who'd get tired sprinting up the entrance ramp.

A few peopple in the audience boo, but they can hardly be heard, because the arena is so big.

Hangtime: However, whether you like me, or whether you don't.... F*** YOU!! I'm here to stay, so you better get used to it.

Hangtime drops the mic on the ground, and his entrance music hits as he walks out of the arena.

See... what's ruling all our lives...
See... who's pulling strings...
See... what's ruling all our lives
See who holds the strings...!
I bet you won't fall on your face,
Your belly will hold you in place--

The announcer walks back into the ring and picks his microphone up.

End.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: The Grassy Knoll (Credit: Adrian Flamingo)

As the cameras opened up, Adrian Flamingo, in a black dress shirt and slacks stood in front of a large ACW logo. His face was freshly shaven around his goatee, and his hair was still a long, curly mess, but it was as well kempt as it could be. His facial expressions were quite sullen as he cleared his throat.

“Good evening, wrestling fans, I come to you tonight to help you open your minds and see the true evils in the world. I’ve taken it upon myself to help you use your brains and question things around you, instead of blindly nodding your head and agreeing to whatever sanctimonious bullshit is fed to you. Why, though? Why must I put it on myself to come to you tonight, risk my own livelihood, and help you ponder what’s going on in this company? Well, it became very apparent to me after my match with OLYMPIA… where I was practically booed out of the building for beating a man without the use of a foreign object… without using the ropes or his tights for leverage… no; I was booed for simply being the better man. Isn’t that crazy, ACW? Isn’t that insane? I’ve never claimed to be a good man, but I’m no devil, either. How can it be that you love me one second, and then boo me out of the building the next? I’m not a man who is fighting for the gold for his family… or a man who is just trying to prove he can hang with the big dogs. Nor am I a man who acts like the backstage police or someone who practices in the acts of infidelity with great pride. Call what I’m about to do as mud-slinging against the company that made me a star, but if I’m so vilified for doing nothing… well… then let the mud-slinging begin.”

Adrian smiled as he cracked his knuckles and glared at the camera with his calm eyes.

“They say that a company’s champions represent them, but there would be no champions without title belts. Here in ACW, we have four titles… and only three of which I believe are necessary. You have our entertainment championship, which I always a belt held by a young athlete with a promising future. Our light heavyweight title that is for the junior heavyweights so they can have an equal shot at the spotlight. Then of course there’s our world heavyweight strap, which is reserved for the best in the company. That leaves one… the unnecessary limb in the ACW body, the international championship. The name itself points out the total hypocrisy in the title’s existence. Doesn’t a WORLD title also make it an INTERNATIONAL title? It’s a belt that has never meant anything to anyone in so long. Let’s look at the past few champions, shall we?”

Adrian held out three fingers, and gestured to each one as he mentioned a former champion.

“Jason Freeman… Thunderkiss… and Senator… two held it… and one’s holding it… but none have done a damn thing with it. Freeman has seen more gold in this company than humanly comprehendible. For a man who receives so many shots at titles… you’d think he’d learn how to keep one. Oh well, in the school of life, not everyone can make straight A’s. Thunderkiss… well, TK didn’t do much with the belt because he barely had a whiff of the thing when he lost it. Now… you have Senator Phillips. What will he do with it? That’s right, probably nothing. See, Senator and his whole little flock of flunkies are all the same. None of them do anything; none of them are notable, and yet they’re the ones in the big matches in the big lights in the big towns. Name a single thing that any of them besides Philips has done but stare at the lights while someone else is pinning them? That’s right, I’ll say it because everyone else in that god forsaken locker room is terrified to – the Senatorial Stable are just as useless as the belt their leader wears.”

Adrian’s smile widens a bit and a giggle tried to force it’s way out, but keeps his composure.

“I’d say the worst offender of them all would have to be Scott Andrews. The man who could’ve, should’ve, but never will break that glass ceiling above his head that HE put there. No, instead of making a statement and pushing himself into a dominant position, he’d rather play police officer backstage and get in MY face over MY business! We have an entire roster of thieves, kidnappers, rapists, and maniacs… yet he picks to pull over the guy whose taillight is out. Heh, Andrews really is like the police.”

Adrian cleared his throat and reached into his jacket pocket, retrieving a small hammer. As he turned to face the camera again, a smile crept across his face.

“You know, I’m just so downright amazed at what I can destroy with just a hammer. I apologize sincerely, ACW fans, this isn’t about my issues with a certain Senatorial Stable member… this is about the insipid international title. It’s become very apparent to me that it is nothing more than a security device for men who are terrified to live without something wrapped around their waists. It’s an ego stroke that is rarely defended, rarely retained, and rarely relevant. So my solution? We retire the belt and create another one… I hear Yoko Satoshi has a few just laying around…”

Adrian glared back at the camera, and the sullen look quickly replaced the wild smile and glare.

“But what do I know? I’m just an example of low morale. So I ask you, ACW fans, do you know where the power lies? … I do.”

Adrian kissed the head of the hammer and smiled back at the camera as the scene faded into commercial.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: "Love/Hate" Credit: T-Kiss

[Say whatever you want to about our dear Chairman, but one thing you can’t call him is a liar. Well, at least Thunderkiss can’t. The first thing he sees as he opens the Entourage locker room door is the beautiful Anna Sommers, just as promised. Upon seeing her, his eyes immediately look into her face to check how she’s feeling about this, and as expected, saying she simply looks “unhappy” would be putting it mildly. Be that as it may, Thunderkiss just shelled out 1 million dollars for this woman, and he’ll be damned if she continues to ignore him. Taking it upon himself to start the conversation, Thunderkiss shoots a greeting her way to test the waters.]

Thunderkiss: Well hello there!

[Anna looks to the side, completely ignoring Thunderkiss. She continues to stand there, arms folded, not showing any indication that she recognizes TK’s existence.]

Anna Sommers: .................

[Time for plan B. The ol’ “say something flattering” routine!]

Thunderkiss: My my, aren’t you looking fiiinnnee today!

[Bingo! Her head finally snaps back at Thunderkiss, a wild look in her eye as if the gates of hell have opened upon him ...]

Anna Sommers: Look, I don’t know what the HELL you did to sway the old man, but lets get something straight inside that sick, twisted, fucked up mind of yours. You do not control or own me, nor will you ever! Now either tell me what to do or dismiss me from this low class rathole you call a dressing room!

Thunderkiss *smirking*: Oh, I have PLENTY of things you can do for me.

[Thunderkiss pushes his body into Anna’s, reaching down and unzipping his pants in the process. Anna responds to this insult by thrusting her hand directly across TK’s right cheek, leaving a red hot imprint of her hand as a result. Thunderkiss takes a step back and Anna unloads again, this time missing her target as TK grabs her hand and pulls it down before it strikes.]

Thunderkiss: Nuh ..Uh ..UH! The first one is always free. The second one? Well, that’s going to cost you. Now be a good girl, go fetch my bag.

Anna Sommers: Go fetch it yourself you twit. That’s not part of my job description. Now release my hand before I nail you with a sexual harassment law suit or before I catch a disease from your STD ridden body.

Thunderkiss: And if you don’t want to end up on the wrong end of a contractual law suit, I think you do as you’re told.

[TK tosses Anna’s hand down, trusting that she will not strike him again. She looks at him, that wild look still in her eye. Even angry, Thunderkiss found Anna simply fetching. He just wanted to grab her and kiss her; the temptation was completely overwhelming. He felt a little relieved as she started to distance herself from him as proceeded in the direction of his belongings. As soon as she is directly over her “assignment” Anna looks back at TK, pointing to the bag on the floor ...]

Anna Sommers: You want your bag?!

Thunderkiss: Are you deaf? Do I have to repeat myself?!

[Thunderkiss returns Anna’s mock sign language that she gave to him just over a week ago, causing her blood to boil to dangerous limits.]

Anna Sommers: Fine!

[Sommers takes Thunderkiss’ bag and walks into the adjoining bathroom. She tosses it directly into the toilet as a horrified Thunderkiss looks on!]

Anna Sommers: There! There is your bag you prick!

[Satisfied that she made a long lasting statement on her new job, Anna storms right past Thunderkiss on her way out of the Entourage locker room, damning the consequences of this and calling it a day. While he was in shock at first, and rightfully so, the preceding event has finally sunk into Thunderkiss’ brain, causing him to explode. He rushes to the locker room door and shouts out...]

Thunderkiss: And for the record, I don’t have any STD’s you BITCH!

[Anna continues to walk away, only responding to this by raising her right hand and flipping Thunderkiss off before she turns the hallway corner. Moments later, XS3 enters the picture, obviously catching the tail end of this disaster filled first day of Sommers employment.]

XS3: Well, I can only assume that didn’t go good.

[States XS3, looking over at Thunderkiss and he tugs his bag away from the clutches of the toilet.]

Thunderkiss: Oh, she’ll come around. Trust me.

XS3: ?! Ok, but in the meantime, do me just one favor.

Thunderkiss: Hm?

XS3: Keep that woman away from me Kiss.

[XS3 leaves to his own part of the locker room, leaving Kiss alone to clean his belongings. As he does so, the only thing he can keep thinking about is Anna, still infatuated with her presence. Its dangerously apparent that TK has a high tolerance level with Miss Sommers’ attitude, but one has to wonder how much longer that will continue to hold out. Patience in ACW these days is very hard to come by, and with a huge match on the horizon, does he honestly need the distraction? The only person who can answer that is Thunderkiss, and based on how much he’s willing to go for her attention, I doubt he’d answer no.]

[FADE]

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment – You want revenge? Then you’ve got to…dance for it? (Credit: VorteX)

After returning from a commercial break the camera returns to a shot of the inside of the ACW arena, packed and bustling. With Heatwave approaching fast, fans can’t help but to be excited and when “Out of the Ashes” hits the excitement grows electric. Vortex walks confidently down the ramp, ladder slung across his shoulder and steps into the ring, putting the ladder down outside. He stands there for a moment listening to the fan reaction before grabbing a microphone and beginning to speak.

Vortex: Stay a while…and listen.

The fans cheer as Vortex paces the length of the ring, stopping a few times and staring out into the audience before finally returning to the center and speaking again.

Vortex: So as you all know, Jake Cheng did exactly what I told him not to, he cheated me to win. I clearly had him, and what did he do? Grab the ropes for leverage. I’m sick and tired of these heels thinking they can get away with this…Jake get out here NOW.

The crowd erupts in noise, the whole of it getting behind Vortex’s defiance. Vortex drops the microphone causing a sharp burst of static, and then begins to pace the ring looking dead on at the entrance ramp. The noise grows louder and louder as Vortex continues to become more and more agitated when Jake shows no sign of coming out.

McNally: I don’t think Jake’s coming out.

Edison: No…really? It does look like Vortex is about ready to go back there and get him thou—

Who am I to disagree?

“Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics hits the speakers as the crowd goes almost silent, absolutely dumfounded. Vortex also stops pacing and stares at the entrance ramp mouth agape in surprise.

McNally: Now I’m fairly certain that’s not Jake’s music…

Travel the world and the seven seas…

Smoke begins to pour out of the sides of the entrance ramp and a huge pyro rocks the arena. All of a sudden a few more pyros go off and a man steps out onto the entrance ramp. He stands about four feet tall and looks to weigh roughly 250 pounds. He has blazing red hair and is wearing a disco top and baggy disco pants, with the matching accessories to make him shine like the sun. The striking thing about him though is the way his hair is styled…into a massive, red afro.

Everybody’s looking for something

The man looks at Vortex and wags his finger back and forth before striking a decidedly great disco pose. He stands this way for a moment letting the music catch up with him and then…

Some of them want to use you

Pelvic thrust.

Some of them want to be used by you

Another pelvic thrust and a finger wag.

Some of them want to abuse you

Crotch chop.

Some of them want to be abused…

Another crotch chop followed by a furious pelvic thrust and then a very awkward cartwheel. As the music fades out the man stands up and puts a singular finger in the air while screaming “NOW THAT’S BAAAAD!”

Edison: What. The. Hell.

McNally: It seems as if we have our very own dancing machine on our hands!

Edison: I don’t really think dancing is what Vortex has in mind…

Vortex stare burns into this little man, who seems absolutely unfazed. The man struts like a peacock down the ramp and stops at the bottom before posing again. On closer inspection his face looks to be fairly grizzled, and he has very, very large sideburns to go with the afro.

Vortex: I’m in no mood for this. I suggest you take the party elsewhere.

??: Are you talkin’ to me? Talkin’ to the one and only SUPER BAD TAD JOHNSON?

Vortex: I’m going to ask you one last time…

Tad jumps to the floor and begins to do “The Worm”, which angers Vortex greatly. The crowd erupts in laughter, which only fuels Vortex’s anger. Tad begins to break-dance, causing his fat to jiggle everywhere. Vortex has had enough of this, and rebounds off of the opposite ropes and nails Tad with a Baseball slide as Tad stands up from his routine. Vortex picks Tad up by his fro’ and stares directly into his eyes.

Vortex: I’ll be Jake sent you. Wants to make a mockery of me…
Tad: No…

Vortex: What did you say? If Jake didn’t send you, which I have a hard time believing he didn’t…, then WHO did?

Tad: YOUR MOM!

Suddenly Tad drops to his knees, oblivious that his hair has been ripped out by doing so, and lowblows Vortex. Vortex drops down as Tad shoots through his legs, and then disappears under the ring. Vortex winces painfully still clutching some of Tad’s mad “do” in his hands.

Edison: Now that’s one way to avoid answering a question.

McNally: Sure is!

Vortex stands up, and looks wildly around for “Super Bad” Tad Johnson, who is still nowhere to be found. Vortex goes to step towards the ring to fish Tad out, but decides against this, and storms to the back determined to find out who sent Tad out here, and why.

Fade out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 5: Wyvern vs Fallen Souls (Credit: BK)

Phillip: This match is scheduled for one fall, coming to the ring weighing in at 192 lbs from Seoul, Korea, representing the Senatorial Stable, Fallen Souls!

'Bel Air' by Malice Mizer sounds throughout the ACW Arena and the crowd goes absolutely nuts for the Senatorial Stablemate as he makes his way from the back onto the stage. He stands at the top of the stage, acknowledging his fans in the crowd before making his way down the ramp and eventually into the ring. He hops up on the middle turnbuckle before raising his arms over his head as the many fans with the benefit of flash photography seize the moment to take a picture of their favorite wrestler.

Phillip: And his opponent, coming to the ring weighing in at 215lbs, from Tacoma Washington, he is the ACW Heavyweight Champion, Wyvern!

"This Night" by Black Lab blasts into life and currently, the most hated man in ACW makes his way out onto the stage with his ACW Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder. Since Fallen Heroes when he won the belt, he has managed time after time to just barely escape with each of his defense - each defense becoming harder than the last. But tonight, rather than stressing his opponent - he seems a bit confident. He makes his way down to the ring with a cocky strut before entering the ring. Not even giving Fallen Souls one passing glance, he walks right past him and holds his championship up high over his head and the crowd bombards him with boos and jeers.

Upon handing his belt to the timekeeper, the referee signals for the bell and now we're on our way.

Lots of animosity in this match with the history between these two superstars. Not only does FSX hold a grudge against the Wrold Champion simply because of the way he left the Senatorial Stable, but because Wyvern was the one who ended his International Title reign before it really begun. The start of the match reflects the hate between these two, as they begin exchanging fists with FSX getting the upperhand and pummeling Wyvern in the corner like a man possesed. The crowd fully supports FSX's method of delivering an asskicking to the man who has been insulting them for months on months, but the referee doesn't feel the same way and after initiating the five count he pulls FSX away from Wyvern. Wyvern manages to rise back up to a vertical base in the corner, but FSX charges right after him with a vicious shoulder block to the abdomen. The ACW Champion staggers around the ring, holding his abdomen in pain until FSX bounces off the ropes and takes him down with a hard Spinning Wheel Kick to the cranium. Wyvern is motionless in the ring and now FSX picks him up and rests him on the ropes before delivering a knife edge chop to his chest that echoes throughout the entire ACW arena from the front row all the way up to the rafters. The shock of the chop flows throughout the entire body of the champion, which brings him to his knees, but FSX wastes no time picking him back up to a vertical base and irish whipping him across the ring.

Wyvern comes off the ropes and it appears FSX is looking for a scoop slam like manuever, but the Modern Day Judas manages to slip over the shoulder of FSX before pushing him into the ropes. Wyvern looks to roll up FSX for a quick pin, but FSX grabs onto the ropes and instead Wyvern rolls backwards by himself across the ring. Wyvern climbs back up to his feet and FSX sprints toward him, taking both of them over the top rope with a Cactus Clothesline. FSX may have got the worse out of the clothesline though as his back smashes against the edge of the apron. FSX holds his lower back and approaches Wyverm to pick him up, but the former Intenrational Champion is going to be in for a big surprise.

FSX picks up Wyverm, but quickly the ACW Champion retaliates by raking the eyes of the Senatiral Stablemate. With FSX temporarily blinded, Wyvern is able to follow up by spearing FSX right into the steel steps - delivering more pain to that injured back. FSX screams out in pain as the opportunist Wyvern rests against the crowd barrier to catch his breath a little before tossing his opponent back in the ring. Wyvern hooks both legs of FSX, looking to the win right here but the SS stablemate manages to get his shoulder up from the mat before the three count to the dismay of the champion. Wyvern pummels FSX with fists to the jaw before picking him up and throwing him into the corner. After delivering more punishment to the back with several vicious elbows, he places him on the top rope backwards - looking for possibly a Back Superplex. Wyvern looks to deliver the move, but FSX manages to grab onto the top rope and delivers a few elbows of his own to the bridge of the champion's nose - sending him flying backwards to the mat below. The crowd is going crazy for FSX to capitalize, and slowly and very gingerly he makes his way up to the top rope. He looks to land the Defiance of Death but Wyvern manages to roll out the way at the last possible moment to the dismay of the crowd. Slowly FSX rises up following that and Wyvern grabs him and delivers a Cross-Arm Lungblower. A resounding "Oooooh" from the crowd and Wyvern looks to pick up the win, but FSX manages to get his shoulder up!

Wyvern pounds the mat in frustration before picking up his advesary once more and whips him across the ring into the opposing ropes, but as FSX comes off the ropes he ducks under the clothesline of the champion. Wyvern turns around and FSX now spingboards off the middle rope with a crossbody, he hooks both legs but it's not enough to keep the champion down. Both men get up simultaneously and Wyvern advances towards FSX only to be taken down with a back body drop. The momentum is fully on FSX's side right now, and Wyvern gets up once more which prompts FSX to give him a hefty kick in the gut before bouncing off the ropes. He looks for the Silence Scissors Kick, but Wyvern manages to evade the move and looks to land the Reverse Russian Leg Sweep on the former International Champion. FSX manuevers his way out of the move and plants his opponent with a Impaler DDT in the center of the ring. Wyvern lays motionless on the mat and FSX rolls him over on his stomach before hooking both legs once more. Only a nearfall as Wyvern manages to kick out, and now FSX looks to end this match right here. He picks up Wyvern, but Wyvern pushes him back into the referee - knocking him down for the moment. Wyvern follows up with a huge low blow before delivering the Wings of the Fallen. FSX is planted into the mat and slowly Wyvern rolls him over before stacking him up. The referee begins to come to and slowly counts, which gets Wyvern the win.

Phllip: And the winner of this match, Wyvern!

"This Night" sounds once again and The Modern Day Judas manages to steal another win. Upon rising up to his feet, he sees the referee approaching him with the ACW Championship in hand and he aggressively snatches it away from him. Wyvern slips out of the ring and makes his way to the back, with his championship held high over his head and FSX looks a bit disappointed with his loss to the champion.

Once Wyvern makes his way to the back, FSX makes his way back up to his feet to the support of the entire arena as they applaud his efforts. He responds with a simple "Thank you", before making his way out the ring and to the back as the cameras fade out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: A Real Wall of Text (Credit: Stark / AK)

August 9th, 3.15pm

ACW appears to suffer an unusual lapse into literacy as the scene commences in the novel surroundings of a book store. Terrible puns aside, the store looks to be well stocked and reasonably popular, a minor miracle in the age of the Amazon.

A couple of couches are occupied by readers of varying ages; the clerk on the counter casts them an eye every now and then, perhaps hoping that they will have courtesy to pay for the books before finishing them. He divides his attention between the sofa dwellers and the silent figures passing along the rows of shelved tomes, but alas, a bookseller’s lot is hardly an exciting one. He contents himself with absent-mindedly clocking the svelte outline of one particular browser in the film and culture section.

The owner of the reasonably attractive figure vaguely senses that there are eyes on her, but ignores it; in her profession it’s just one of the little things to deal with. She runs a finger along the spines of the books, scanning them quickly as she moves along the row-

She stops; something on the other side of the row of books also stops. There is not enough space to see though, only the motion of the shadow gives their presence away. It’s hardly a rare occurrence in a book shop, but somehow this seems different. She moves forward again, and after a second or so the shadow also moves.

The woman walks to the end of the row, and pauses, seeing a book which interests her. Taking it off the shelf, she is absorbed in reading the text on the back cover, and rounds the corner without looking – straight into the path of another who similarly has their eyes lowered over some lines of print.

They bump shoulders as many do, she making as if to apologise and move on. The person who bumps into her does no such thing but rather raises his eyes to raise his brows quizzically at the remarkable fortune that seems bestowed upon him at this moment in time.

Alexander and Alicia look at one another for a moment, she stepping back and stifling a curse under her breath, he closing the book after remembering the page number and crossing his arms over his chest.

Stark: Well, it's quite a small world indeed when I cannot escape you even when running my errands.

Having got past the initial surprise, Alicia is able to recompose herself, and offers Starkweather a light smile in response.

Alicia: You make it sound as if I were trailing in your wake. Still, it shows that we have at least one thing in common. A good book does pass the quiet hours much more swiftly than passively watching the box, don’t you think?

He finds occasion to roll his eyes with a shrug that follows closely behind, hefting the somewhat weighty but not dictionary-sized tome that he's found in his off-hand.

Stark: Indeed. I'd really rather not know who some liposuctioned corpse's "baby-daddy" is, nor do I care what bottle-blonde celebrity has a sex tape of some kind on the internet. I regret having told Wyvern to head back to the arena, he'd of been positively enthralled by finding you in between these stacks of literature.

He offers a curt smile.

Stark: Oh, and congratulations on your husband coming back to action and doing nothing of merit, as per usual.

Alicia flicks her eyes skyward for a second before returning them to the man before her.

Alicia: I’m sorry, for a second there I thought I’d suffered a minor timeslip back to the Attitude era. If you’re going to pass snide comment, just a touch of originality would be nice. But then, we’ve already established that your consideration of others is non-existent, so I won’t hold my breath.

She muses on the book in his hand.

Alicia: Speaking of an absence of merit, you’ll be putting intellectual enrichment on the back burner now that Ms. Saito is darkening our hallways once again, I assume. It must be something of a novelty for a man of your character to find a woman of the same outlook, hmm?

Ah yes, let's you and I go to the land of cheap insults.

Stark: Oh, yes, let's discuss that, shall we? I mean... There must be SOME reason that your aforementioned husband of many happy... Months... Has not ridden in to this situation betwixt you and I on his white stallion. Why do you think he's left his loving little woman to the dogs, hm? AT the very least, Ms. Saito is there when I require her to be.

Alicia sighs. Starkweather’s attempts to get under her skin irritate her to hell, but she knows now from experience that the only way to “win” is to refuse to play, however tempting it may be.

Alicia: How my husband and I deal with our professional lives is none of your business, sir. All you need to know is that Victor is always by my side, as I am beside him. Pour as much scorn on that as you wish, my dear doctor, I wouldn’t expect you to be capable of understanding any relationship not based on selfish need.

She looks down at her book again.

Alicia: Honestly, I hope you get some sort of perverse enjoyment out of our little chats. Either that or you’re resorting to trying to bore me to death before we so much as step in the bloody cell.

A shrug on his part, his eyes not averting, remaining rather coolly fixed upon those of the annoyed female that stands before him before he responds.

Stark: I speak to those I consider equals as equals. You do not yet fall under that category, Mrs. Laureano, and very little you do will force me to do so in any real fashion. As far as relationships based solely on greed, I do very much think that you underestimate my motivations. You know little to nothing, really, about me. And yet you stand here, as well as you could have easily bypassed this altogether, judging me when it was you, after all, who disgraced yourself on national television by falling to my ploy.

Alicia: You’re absolutely right, Dr. Starkweather. There is little that I or anyone else can base our impressions of you on… so would you have us simply pretend that you do not cause harm and disruption wherever you tread? What little you do care to reveal suggests nothing other than a viciously sharp mind, few to no moral standards, and a positive enjoyment of causing havoc amongst our ranks. In the face of such a danger, we must try to defend ourselves in whatever way we can.

She looks at him again, and the anger in her eyes has gone, for that way lies only frustration. Instead she just seems a little sad.

Alicia: I’m no expert on the human psyche as you are, doctor. Sometimes I wish I could peer into your mind and see what it is that you are so intent on concealing from the entire world. You present yourself as a man totally at ease, who has no secrets to chain him, but I don’t believe you. Like so many others, I can only wonder what it is that really does motivate your actions, unless I am minded to take a leaf out of your own book and steal into your home and private places. Not something which I would want to do at all… so, an enigma you must remain, it appears.

She shivers very slightly at the memory of her ruined home, but it does not bring fear to her eyes, and she does not turn away from Starkweather as she says it.

He smiles. It's not a vengeful, smirking, self-assured or any bad kind of smile, but a low mirthful one.

Stark: My pet is much better at household defense than your own, Ms. Laureano. Of that I can assure you. But to see what it is that makes me tick, you really cannot remain the protagonist in this delightful little story we have going. You have to get your hands dirty to get what you want done, I am living proof of that. I have reached very near the pinnacle of this business, and soon enough, I will be sitting on the throne in ACW. And very little you can do will stop that.

Alicia does not raise an objection to this statement; instead she muses for a moment.

Alicia: Your advice is good as always, Dr. Starkweather, and I may just take you up on it.

She pushes her hair back from her face.

Alicia: As for your impending reign, as you put it… allow me to give you one small hint on that point. A person can wear fine clothes; they can raise an army, and they can proclaim themselves king, ruler, lord of all. Heck, it’s been done so many times in our business it’s practically a rite of passage. And yet, for all of that… they would do well to remember the example which Canute gave his courtiers; no man’s influence is limitless. Everyone eventually faces a tide they cannot turn back….

She gives him one more look, the clearest and least clouded one to date.

Alicia:…and you will be no exception.

Politely, Alicia steps around him and heads to the counter with her book to pay for it, leaving Starkweather to himself.

Oh, everyone did find their opposite in the world, Dr. Starkweather thinks to himself as he graciously steps aside from her as she moves to the counter, he not sparing a second glance at her as she gives him her parting words.

Everyone has an opposite in this world, one that will end their hubris and force them back down to Earth. But the good Doctor has never met his. And Alicia Laureano isn't strong enough to stop him, she knows this. He smiles lightly, flipping the book back open and humming to himself as he wanders the stacks.

Fade.