Thursday Night Meltdown 8th June 2006

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Thursday Night Meltdown 8th June 2006

Schedule of Matches:
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Alexander Starkweather vs. Ken Masterson

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XS3 & TBA vs. Logan Locke & TBA

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Rattlesnake vs. Anthony Kalb

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OnlyRedsFan vs. Scott Andrews

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Jake Cheng & Dan White vs. Santiago Rivera & Hunter

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Jack Conner vs. The Senator

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Yoko Satoshi vs. The Great KUDA

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Affirmative Action vs. RDK & AK

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[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Opening Segment: Combustible Contract Signing (Credit: BK/RDK)

Meltdown begins with a flourish of driving music and sound, but this quickly subsides. There’s a great deal to see tonight, and the cameras quickly cut backstage, bringing up a familiar scene on the Alphatron.

As the segment opens, a close up shot of a contract with the words "Omega Effect Main Event" in bold letters is placed on apparently a wooden oak table. As the camera pulls out, Gingerdude is revealed in the middle of the table while Latino and AK are sitting on opposite sides, ready to initiate this contract signing.

Ginger: I'm glad both of you could be gathered here today for this contract signing for the Omega Effect Main Event, which will consist of Victor "Latino" Laureano...

A shot of Latino, focused as he stares across the table.

Ginger: ...versus the ACW Heavyweight Champion, Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune-Laureano...

A shot of Alicia is shown, with the ACW championship rested in front of her on the table. She not only looks focused going into this contract signing, but you can hint a sense of confidence in her facial expression.

Ginger: Now, which of you would like to be the first one to sign this contract?

Alicia: I th-

Latino: I will.

The confident quickly turns to a little bit of anger with her husband cutting her off. Ginger slides the contract over to Latino's side and AK realizes she's gonna have to be quicker to compete keep up with this focused Latino.

Latino clicks the ball point pen, and just as the ink touches the paper something totally unexpected happens. BK London bursts through the door of Ginger's office, interfering in this contract signing.

BK: WHOA WHOA WHOA!

Ginger: BK, what's the meaning of his? The three of us are trying to conduct business.

BK: What's the meaning of this? This....this contract signing is a travesty. Everyone in this room at the moment knows that I should be the one main eventing the PPV, Omega Effect, not these two numbskulls.

Alicia: Excuse me?

Alicia stands up from her seat and releases the grip on her title.

BK: You better sit down honey, you don't want none of this, didn't you see what I did to The Macho Man RDK on Monday? You can receive the same fate.

Latino stands up right after this comment.

Latino: Slow your role pendejo.

BK: Latino, I guess you’re still forgetting my past asskickings that I have given you over the summer. I suggest you sit your "culo" down coño. Now, back to what I was saying before I was so RUUUDELY interrupted. At Spring into Hell, I defeated Rattlesnake in a Hardcore Match...the same man who defeated Atomic Kitsune a few shows before that show in Non-Title match. And it didn't stop there Ginger, oh no. I faced Hunter in a match I was sure to win if it wasn't for that meddling Senatorial Stable ruining my plans, but then I got revenge when I defeated Senator in a Hardcore Match last Monday, right before I dismantled that pest RDK.

BK slams his hands on the table.

BK: I think I have earned my spot in the Omega Effect Main Event...I mean think of it Ginger. Think of the buyrates when on the card, it shows "The Triple Threat of the Century" the ACW Heavyweight Champion Atomic Kitsune versus Latino versus "The Hardcore Legend" B-K London! in the main event of Omega Effect. The money will flow like the wine at the after party when I win the title...

Ginger: You do make very good valid points...

AK: ...you aren't seriously considering this match are you?

Ginger: Well...

BK: Don't listen to that bitch Ginger, she doesn't know what she's talking about, she's a girl…

Latino quickly darts over to BK and gets in his face.

Latino: ...you’d better take back what you said to my wife!

BK: ...and you’d better get out of my face before I punch your face in!

The two men heated on testosterone appear to be angry bulls facing off, and this situation could explode at any moment. And at the breaking point where it looks like all hell is about to break loose, RDK bursts in the room as if he were the giant Kool-aid pitcher.

RDK: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoH YEAH!!!!!

Everyone stops and looks at RDK...who has a crutch and a huge band aid on his shoulder...

RDK: Look here brudahs...sistah. The Macho MAYUN RDK is the one who should be main eventing Omega Effect. I have the single most prestigious championship in our industry! So prestigious that it was put on the line in a match between myself and Fallen Souls this past Monday where I came out on TOP! You better believe it brudahs! Alicia Kitsune sistah, you are the ACW Champion though, believe it or not! It should be you and me sistah, the champions of the world sistah, one on one, AT OMEGA EFFECT! I AM THE INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION, YOU ARE THE ACW CHAMPION, TOGETHER WE COULD BRING THE HOUSE DOWN! LATINO BRUDAH, YOU MIGHTA WON THE RUMBLE BRUDAH, BUT DID YOU BEAT THE MACHO MAYUN ONE ON ONE BRUDAH? OOOOOOH NoOoOoOoOo BRUDAH! I seem to recall DEFENDING that very strap on her shoulder AGAINST YOU late last year! AND THE LONDON BRUDAH, WELLL, you are gonna have to set your priorities straight! Cause' The Macho Man don't have a lot of time for you! It's either point A or point B brudah! Fatal Fourway, Triple Threat, One on one, I don't care brudah! I want in.

The crowd cheer as they see RDK backstage cocking an eyebrow through his sunglasses.

BK: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!

RDK: OHHHH BRUDAH! YOU CAN'T KILL THE MACHO MAYUN! MACHOMANIA IS IMMORTAL BRUDAH!

Ginger: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I CANNOT TAKE ALL OF THIS!

All four superstars turn their heads toward the Chairman of the Board simultaneously. Ginger's facial expressions says he doesn't look too happy with the current events unfolding.

Ginger: I'm sorry AK and Latino, but we'll have to schedule this contract signing later, but as far as tonight goes, all four of you will participate in a match. It will be the team of the former ACW Tag Team Champions World Champion, Atomic Kitsune, and International Champion, RDK, going up against the returning team of Affirmative Action.

Latino & BK: WHAT?!

Ginger: And that's final! Now all of you get the hell out of my office!

Ginger points them towards the door that has been broken down by RDK and the team of AK and RDK walk out together, followed by the unlikely & combustible team of Latino and BK London.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: An Agent’s got to do what an Agent’s got to do (Credit: Logan)

The camera goes to the parking lot where a black and gold stretch Escalade pulls up with music blasting from the inside. The doors swing open and the fans already start booing a little knowing who is about to come out. It is not Locke however as Kelly Angel gets out first. Thinking Locke is next the fans get anxious again but instead Bambi Jazlyn, the women who Locke hired to be his agent steps out. She has curly dirty blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She is wearing a short skirt and a business top however it is not conservative and leaves little to the imagination. Finally the fans get to boo like they wanted as Logan Locke jumps the limo and has a fury off hatred wash over him. He smiles and tips his sunglasses down.

Logan: Wow what a ride! Less then a week with your agency and already I am moving up. And I haven’t even started endorsing yet!

Bambi: I told you the other day, sign with me and I'd give you the world. This is just the first step. I guarantee in the next few months your life will go to the next level. Commercial, sponsors, championships, and all you have to do is what you do best, wrestle. (Bambi smiles and pinches Logan’s cheek)

Kelly: (rolls her eyes) Logan you have more important things to worry about, like your match tonight. You have a pissed off XS3 and his partner but you still have no partner of your own!

Bambi: (puts her arm on Kelly’s shoulder) It's ok sweetie, I am handling that. You need not worry about these things anymore, I promise I will take good care of Logan. Now I have a meeting with someone who might be your partner tonight so you two should go to the locker room and relax. I will be there shortly with you partners name.

Kelly rips her shoulder out from under Bambi's hand and grabs Logan’s hand and pulls him to their room. Bambi fixes her hair and pulls her shirt down a little more to reveal that much more. She walks into a locker room and there is a figure in the corner. The figure goes to walk out of the corner but Bambi signals to the camera and the man realizes that she wants him to remain faceless.

Man: Hey I just wanted to tell you in person that I decided not to do the match tonight. I have no interest in your client’s problems with XS3 and there is not one single benefit for me to tag with him tonight. Thank you for the offer though.

Bambi: Well it's shame because you two could have done some real damage together. Your just so big and handsome that I thought you would be a good partner...silly lil’ me

Voice: Umm, my looks don’t affect the match but thanks for the compliment, however like I said there just isn't enough reward for my career if I do this match

Bambi: Well maybe there is no benefit to your career but there is definitely a reward. (she moves up close to him and puts her hand on his chest) If you do this match as a favor to me, I'm willing to do a favor for you. (slides her hand down his chest off the screen) So what do you say big guy?

Voice: I say you must really care about your client. You got your self a tag partner. (Bambi smiles and kisses his cheek, the kisses his neck, and slides down his chest until her head is off the screen and the camera fades off)

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Girl Talk (Credit: Rena/AK)

Rena was sitting in her hotel room, adjusting a few things before Alicia arrived. She had called earlier in the morning and requested to have some girl time to get things off her chest. The camera stays focused on her face, and for the first time, did not move down to her assets. She smiled at the room, and ran to the door when she heard a knock. Rena put on plastic-lens glasses and opened the door quickly, smiling at Alicia’s puffed eyes from lack of sleep and possibly tears.

Rena: Welcome to Rena’s School of LOVE!

She did a quick peace sign and ushered Alicia into the room. Finally, the camera pans out to show Rena wearing a tight mini-skirt, low v-cut blouse and a sexy blazer. Alicia looked her up and down and gasped at the room.

Alicia: What the hell is this?

She viewed the various-sized dildos laying on the bed.

Rena: I…uhh…teach a sex-ed class too! For BK, Welsh Dragon and Yoko…they needed help.

She quickly moves over and throws the dildos out the window, laughing nervously. A car window smashed outside and a man yelled.

Man: What the fuck hit my head?

Woman: Must be hail.

Alicia raised her brow at the commotion outside, but Rena quickly grabbed her attention back.

Rena: I know why you’re here…and I will teach you everything I know on one condition.

Alicia: What would that be?

Rena: You have to wear the school uniform!

She giggled and pulled a plaid mini skirt out of the closet, stiletto boots, a white blouse and a plaid tie.

Alicia: Er… is that strictly necessary?

Rena: It’s dress-code conduct. I’m sorry, but that’s how our school operates. Even Bk and We-Drag wears it…and I do emphasize on DRAG. Tee-hee.

Alicia: I’m not sure I want to share the same dress-style as Dan…

Rena: Fine! Don’t wear it then!

She throws it out the window, hearing others outside.

Woman: I think a schoolgirl is on the roof, she just threw her clothes off.

Man: She’s nude!? Where’s the quickest access to the roof?

Woman: How liberating.

Rena pokes her head outside.

Rena: Shut your filthy mouths, I’m trying to teach in here. Don’t make me send you to detention!

Woman: Shut up you whore!

Rena slammed the window shut.

Rena: Got them straightened out.

Alicia was sitting on a chair, and looking at Rena in a ‘oh god what have I done’ look.

Alicia: So…we need to talk.

Rena: About Latino?

Alicia: Yes.

Rena: What’s wrong?

Alicia: Well it’s hard enough to be married with him and be in the same business setting, but now I have to wrestle him for my title.

Rena: Bad marriage?

Alicia: Oh, not at all…

Rena: Does he beat you?

Alicia: No!

Rena: Wears women’s lingerie?

Alicia: Not that I’m aware- um, NO!

Rena: Bad in bed?

Alicia: I’d call it a unique style…. but no.

Rena moved and sat on the other side of the table in a chair. She smiled sweetly at her and caressed her hand with a touch of hope.

Rena: All men want is to win. Win in life, marriage, money, power, and even sports. But that doesn’t mean women can’t win sometimes…he just has to get over himself.

Alicia: But I don’t think that’s it. We’ve just been frustrating each other about it all. It’s hard being partners at home, and then rivals once we get to work.

Rena: I know.

Alicia: You do?

Rena: Not really.

Alicia: Well then why did you say you could help me? That’s the reason I called.

Rena: All I said was we could have girl talk…not boring marriage talk.

Alicia: Well I need help with this!

She knocked a couple of items off the table in frustration, her eyes tinged with a touch of red..

Rena: If Latino loves you, he’ll understand-

Alicia: What is he going to understand? That I can’t be the wife he wants because I’m too focused on my career? Or that I can’t be the opponent he deserves because I’m his wife? I don’t know what he wants most…

Rena: Do you know what you want?

Alicia: To be in love, and happy.

Rena: Do you want to keep your title?

Alicia thought about this carefully, as if it was a question that until now she had subconsciously tried to avoid.

Alicia: ………………………at the cost of destroying Latino’s own dreams yet again? I don’t think I can answer that.

Rena: Well this is something you need to discover on your own. I can’t help you with things that you can only choose for yourself. But when the time finally comes, you will have to get off the fence one way or the other.

Alicia: Yeah… you’re right, of course. I guess I just needed someone to make me see that.

Alicia stood up and ventured over to the door. She smiled back and thanked Rena for everything, even if small.[/i]

Rena: And remember…What would you rather have, your title or your husband?

Alicia: Got it.

Rena: Bye.

She closed the door, and Rena pulled out a vibrator.

Rena: Class is now in session…

(fade)

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Scoping (Credit: Alexander Starkweather)

“…Interesting.”

He was lounging back into his somewhat uncomfortable leather-upholstered chair in his office, a dossier sitting in his lap, he perusing it over a cup of coffee. Two creamers, only a little sugar. He sipped it thoughtfully as he looked over the contents.

“Ken Masterson… Ring name is “Shoryuken.” Twenty-four years old, six feet even, two hundred and ten pounds… Likes to use a 630. Unusual to see from someone his size…”

He really couldn’t help but let his lips curl up into the varest hint of a smirk, hand coming up to stroke his goatee thoughtfully. His opponent apparently believed that a video game was the secret to the perfect fighting style. Even going as far as to dress like one of the characters. Such a childish mind. No thought as to how best to incapacitate his opponent, no attention given to wearing him down. All flash, no substance. He’d take him apart in a matter of minutes. He set down the collection of papers and photos, rising from his chair and pacing the room from one side to the other. Long shadow was cast against the far wall by the setting sun peeking in through his office window, stroking his facial hair idly as he did so.

“Ken Masterson. Suffers from delusions of grandeur, what I can only assume to be an inferiority complex which compels him to strive to achieve an impossible goal. In this case, becoming as adept at combat as a video game character. Possibly brought on by his nationality being a factor in his formative years. Video games became his recourse and they set the standard for what was acceptable as a standard for physical achievement.”

He was talking to himself, mostly.

“He may very well see himself as more than a normal man, some fictional character from a fictional universe that somehow makes him capable of superhuman achievements. But, that is his weakness. Test his grasp of what his reality is, push him toward dangerous physical activity. He may injure himself or make a mistake too badly to recover, opening him up for a decisive Frontal Lobotomy.”

Not an actual Frontal Lobotomy, mind you. He was a professional wrestler. An odd choice of profession for a moonlighting psychologist, yes, but he saw it as a wonderful opportunity for a psychological experiment. He used his intelligence, his knowledge of the human mind and what could break it to defeat his opponent. He tested the very limits of sanity and the brain’s capacity for abuse before it would relapse into an acceptance of such and cease to function normally. That was the high he hoped to achieve, to break the spirit of someone he’d never met before, to see what was the fault in their armor and to slip the blade into the crack… Twist it, see how they writhed. He lived for it.

Alexander Starkweather exited his office for the day, he finding his overcoat and pulling it on as he approached his vehicle. Oh yes… He had some work to do.

----------

All was quiet. All was still. And then there was a voice. Low at first, almost indiscernible.

“Fear…”

And then with an explosion of light and sound a staccato rhythm of images. Old video of shock therapy, gurneys, trays full of operating equipment and saws. Off color. Each image blinking almost too fast to see the difference between one and the next.

Darkness.

And then a camera flicked on. Red light shone through the darkness, night vision on, fixed on a figure silhouetted by the light behind him. The screen was dim and full of noise, the occasional bar or hum flitting up the screen to disappear at the top. The screen flicked to statitc for half a second and then when it came back it was noticeably closer to the figure. Another flash of static and then an extreme vlose-up, an unblinking eye moving back and forth at an inhumanly fast pace. A face, behind some bright yellow mockery of a smile, rocked back and forth. Fast enough to be a blur. Another shot, further back, the entire torso bending and flexing this way and that, almost seeming to have the fast-forward button turned on. And then a closeup on the smirking yellow countenance. Painted-on lips did not move, the smooth front of the perversion of a normally innocent symbol remained still as word came from behind it.

“NO man is immortal.”

The screen flicked suddenly to a side view, the light just behind the figure blotting out the right side of the screen with the refraction of light. The man rocked autistically on whatever it was he was sitting on, one hand fidgeting idly with the bottom of whatever it was he was wearing over his face.

“NO man is greater than the sum of his parts.”

Darkness again, but it wasn’t the lens. It was the room. The bulb had burnt out. The static and imperfections continued, the low and far-away although rumbling roar of something approaching was just beginning to make the speakers do a dance over the PA system.

“NO man… Is greater than I allow him to be. I am your weakness, I am your one fault. I am your flaw.”

And then the night vision flicked on. Perfectly in the middle of the screen was an inhuman visage; a circle of bright photoreactive material that hid the most piercing eyes behind a thick shell of nonporous material.

“I am everything you fear.”

And with that the screen seemed to have the brightness turned up to a painful degree, the sudden shriek over the audio frequencies sending the image into a fluttering and steadily worsening vibration. It was cut off just before becoming ear-shattering by the muted buzz of TV static… And then it faded into nothing once more.

The scene shifts on, leaving the fans with an uneasy feeling…

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Don't Hurt Him!
(Credit: Rattlesnake, Senator)

As the show comes back on the air, the Senator is seen in his office, with Rattlesnake standing in front of his desk.

The Senator: So, as I was saying, I do not believe we have had the formal introduction talk here. I must say, though, that as soon as you defeated me in that Fallen Heroes training match, that you were destined to join us here.

Rattlesnake: Yeah, you guys made me an offer I couldn't refuse, really. It's definitely quite an honor to be inducted into a group as prestigious as the Senatorial Stable.

Senator: Well, you should know that we are all flattered to have you around. It would have been a great tragedy to have lost the opportunity to have gained the fastest rising star in ACW.

Snake: I can't dispute that fact. Everyone wants the Snake on their side and who could blame them? I'm just too great for words.

Senator: And I also must thank you for allowing the use of your Snakequlizer in that match, even though I lost, it certainly took BK off his guard.

Snake: It's only the finest weapon in the history of professional wrestling, of course. That and I'm here to help in any way possible. If I can do something, you better bet I'm going to do it.

Senator: So anyway, you have a match tonight, and I have my point to get to, since neither of us are exactly blessed with time to waste. Anthony Kalb is a very talented competitor. Heck, I had a hand in training him, so I should know. The Capitalist is very agressive and has a history of defeating larger, more powerful opponents by taking the fight to them. Even so, I doubt he has much of a chance here. My request here is that you do not let him get to you in the ring there. He might not be an official member of the Stable anymore, but I still consider him a friend, and do not wish for Fallout to lose one of their top stars for any amount of time. Do not crush him too badly. Not saying you should hold back, just do not go out of your way to hurt the kid.

Snake: I understand. I can't promise he won't get hurt, but I give you my word that I will not do anything to permanently harm Anthony. If anything serious happens to him, feel free to take it out on me as it will definitely be my fault.

Senator: Nice to hear someone in this forsaken day and age still takes responsibility and acts like a true man in their matters. Snake, it is a true pleasure doing business with you, and I look forward to your match later on.

The two Stable members shake hands with a smile, as Rattlesnake departs, sending the Senator back to his paperwork.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 1: Alexander Starkweather vs. Ken Masterson (Credit: Wyvern)

The following contest draws the attention of the ACW fans. Whenever new blood debuts in the ACW, one can only wonder what the future has in store for that particular individual. As Phillip enters the ring, the crowd braces for the debut of the new talent.

Phillip: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Los Angeles, California, standing at 6’1” and weighing 185 pounds, in his ACW debut, Alexander Starkweather!

The P.A. begins to play “Medicated” by downthesun, as the crowd waits in anticipation of Starkweather’s entrance. The music is soon accompanied by the silhouette of a figure cast onto the Alphatron. Static and noise take over he screen until the twenty-second mark, and various action shots are shown rapid-fire like a strobe like to the beat of the drums. At roughly the 35-second mark, Starkweather emerges. His appearance seems to disturb some, as his baggy pants, and SWAT-style vest, coupled with a demented smiley face mask and a suspicious red splatter gives the impression he’s a little different. But hey, in the ACW, we welcome diversity, from an eight-foot monster to a Japanese schoolgirl. Starkweather makes his way down to the ring, and climbs up the steps, entering the ring. He removes his mask, as he awaits his opponent.

Phillip: And his opponent, hailing from San Diego, California, standing at 6’0” and weighing 215 pounds, Ken “Shoryuken” Masterson!

”Spybreak!” hits the P.A., as the Fallout talent dashes down the entranceway and ramp like a man on fire, as the crowd cheers on. He dashes down the arena floor and slides into the ring, and mounts the nearby ropes, raising his arms. He then hops off, and takes off the top half of his karate gi, before RAF calls for the bell.

The bell rings.

Starkweather looks at Masterson, as the two start to move in on each at mid-ring. However, Starkweather’s not too familiar with Masterson’s style, as Masterson lunges forward with a sweep kick that drops Starkweather down to the mat. Starkweather springs right back up, and continues to try to get within grappling range of Masterson, but Masterson catches Starkweather with a strong right punch that dazes Starkweather, before moving over behind Starkweather and delivering a sick German suplex. Masterson moves in to make the cover, but Starkweather is already back up from the impact. Masterson looks confused, as Starkweather looks at him with a look that just screams “bring it.” Masterson complies, as he launches a Hadoken. Usually Masterson’s finisher on Fallout, it has little to no effect on Starkweather, as Starkweather waves a finger, before launching an assault on Masterson. He starts with a few chops, with each one moving up before starting to connect with the throat of Masterson. He then launches a few stiff kicks to the legs of Masterson, and Masterson finds himself unable to defend against a lightning leg lariat by Starkweather, which sends Masterson down to the mat, as his legs are still bent, leaving him to writhe in pain.
McNally: What a painful predicament Ken Masterson is in! He’s lucky his legs are intact!

Edison: This Starkweather guy seems like he’s out to kill Masterson.

McNally: This is one of those rare times I can actually say I agree with you.

Starkweather smirks at Masterson’s misfortune, as he pulls Masterson back up to his feet, but kneeing Masterson in the midsection, before executing a hammerlock uranage slam, crashing Masterson back down to the mat. While it looks like Masterson might be down for the count, Starkweather picks him back up, and in a scoop slam-like maneuver, slams Masterson into a nearby turnbuckle, and sets him up in a tree of woe. Starkweather climbs the top rope, as the crowd starts to gasp at what he has in mind. A few mere moments pass, before a smirking Starkweather leaps off with a double stomp, catching Masterson square in the jaw before landing. Starkweather takes a few seconds to catch his breath, but moves back in on Masterson. As he pulls Masterson back up to his feet, Masterson catches him with a sweep kick out of nowhere! Starkweather falls to mat, and springs right back up, only to fall prey to yet another sweep kick by the recovering Masterson! Starkweather springs up yet again, and ONCE AGAIN, the leg sweep connects successfully!

McNally: What tactics by Masterson! Keeping your opponent off their feet is a great strategy!

Edison: This is so cheap. You know, pressing the directional button backwards of where you’re facing seems to be only way to stop this, and that DOESN’T EVEN WORK ALL THE TIME! CHEAP!!! I CALL SHENANIGANS!

McNally: What in God’s name are you talking about?!

Edison: Umm…I…uhhh…look!!!

Starkweather gets back up to a standing base, as Masterson attempts the leg sweep a fourth time, but to no avail, as Starkweather steps over the sweep, before stamping down on Masterson’s right knee. Masterson rolls in pain, as he tries to kick Starkweather with his other leg. Starkweather catches the leg, and sets it on the ropes, and delivers a brutal Mafia kick to it. At this point Masterson is desperately trying to stand up, but it appears the pain in both his legs seems to be too much to stand on a steady base. Starkweather sees this, as Masterson tries to attack Starkweather, but Starkweather quickly pulls the stumbling Masterson in powerbomb position, and rushes a nearby turnbuckle and BAM! Starkweather powerbombs Masterson with pure brutality, as he slumps like a rag doll!

Edison: HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP! DANNGGGEEERRRROOOOUUUSSSS!!!

McNally: What violence! This has got to stop! It’s a live massacre in the ring!

Starkweather stands still for a moment, beaming from ear to ear at the damage he has inflicted upon the battered Masterson. The crowd begins to boo Starkweather, but to no avail, as he stays fixated on Masterson. He walks over to Masterson, and picks him back up, completely ignoring feeble attempts by Masterson to fend for himself. He then flips Masterson down into a wheelbarrow position, and flips him around, before raising him up, and delivering a double-leghook face buster, known as the Frontal Lobotomy! The crowd looks on in horror as Masterson is crumpled down on the mat. Starkweather is all smiles, as kicks Masterson in the ribs to turn him over to make a cover.

1…

2…

3!

The bell rings.

Phillip: And here is your winner, Alexander Starkweather!

”Medicated” hits as the crowd begins to boo the psychotic madman that has debuted here tonight. He takes a few brief moments to celebrate his victory, before he climbs out of the ring and heads backstage, as ACW officials rush down to the ring to tend to the fallen Ken Masterson, who is apparently quite hurt. As the camera feed goes to commercial, one could only fathom what one Alexander Starkweather is capable of here in Alpha Championship Wrestling.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Mindgames (Credit: BK)

As the scene fades in from black the camera immediately cuts to a backstage shot of ACW Fan Favorite Victor Laureano, better known to the ACW fans as Latino. A huge pop is heard when he appears on the screen and apparently he seems to be doing pull ups using the top of the doorway. He continues to pull himself up and down, working on his biceps and towards the end of his rep he goes down and right in the camera shot is BK London, who recieves a very heelish ovation from the crowd. Latino drops down from the top of the doorway and stands face to face again with his former tag team partner, but tag team partner for tonight. The tension mounts as they continue to stare a hole into each other, BK decides to break the ice by starting off the dialogue between them.

BK: Well, this was certainly not the way I thought I was going to spending my night. Teaming up with...well you..

Latino: And what's wrong with me?

BK: Chill out...chill out. I didn't say anything was wrong with you, I'm just merely saying that this is not how I envisioned celebrating my triumphant win over Senator on Monday.

Latino: Oh don't play that with me pendejo, I've known you for too long, I know you were implying something with that you.

BK: Well someone's a little jumpy tonight aren't they? Slow your role, I wasn't implying anything Stedman.

And with that statement, Latino grabs BK by his neck and slams him up against the wall. While having the disadvantage in height, Latino is the more experienced brawler and with his Latin temper, he's not one to fuck with tonight.

BK: I suggest you...

BK tosses Latino's arm off his neck.

BK: ....get your hands off me.

Latino: Listen London, with all we've been through you should know NOT to cross me the wrong way. I'm already pissed off enough as it is...

BK: ... and why shouldn't you?

Latino: ..what?

BK: Why shouldn't you? You have every reason to be mad. Last week, she strolled in your match and began giving you advice? That's a spit in the face to your wrestling abilities. *scoff* Women, can't live with'em...can't live without'em.

Latino: Where is this going BK?

BK: You want to know where this is going? I'll tell you exactly where it's riding off to, I don't INTEND on losing tonight...as a matter afact, losing is the absolutely LAST thing on my mind tonight alright? And usually I would believe that having the No.1 Contender for the ACW Heavyweight Championship at Omega Effect on my team would be a good thing...but in this situation when across the ring I have not only the ACW Champion but the WIFE of my partner...I can't guarantee that your silly emotions will get in the way.

Latino: Oh trust me, you don't have to worry about me going easy on her, we've already had a discussion on-

BK: Yeah yeah yeah, discussion. But can I really trust you on that?

Latino: You can trust me....

BK: Can I really Latino? Can I trust that your emotions over this woman won't get in the way of things tonight? Can these people really trust for your emotions not to get caught up on June 24th at the biggest stage of them all?

Grabs Latino by the shoulders and starts shaking him.

BK: ...Latino! I don't want the lovey dovey, easy going, tequila drinking SOB that I had has a partner. I want the serious, vicious, man handling Latino. I want you to not hesitate to rip the hair out of her scalp if she kicks you in the groin...

Latino: ..well I'm not going to-

BK: Emotions getting in the way are they?

Latino: ......fine. You want vicious, you want blood thirsty, you want unforgiving? You've got that side of Latino! I'll see you in the ring, this conversation is over...

Latino walks off angrily as the camera closes in on BK, smiling and chuckling from his recent actions.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Retro Segment #32 (Credit: Sarin and Yoko)

November 20th, 2005
Okinawa, Japan
THE STREETS

An immaculate white sports car zips through Okinawa traffic, winding and maneuvering expertly between honking cars. Clad in their superheroine gear, Yoko and Sarin, better known to the citizens of Japan as Gatogal and Frost, are about to confront one of their most bizarre enemies in their histories as crime fighters. A superb driver, Yoko has no trouble in cutting people off, enticing timid businessmen to suddenly exclaim obscenities at her sports car. Sarin clicks her tongue disapprovingly at Yoko's recklessness, but nevertheless begins to mentally steel herself for the upcoming battle.

Yoko: Where are we meeting this guy, anyway?

Sarin: Right outside the bank. It might seem a bit obvious, but I'm sure we'll be fine. She won't hesitate to charge once the robbery is in session.

Yoko: Right. We just need to make sure our "bait" doesn't get shot first.

Sarin: As long as we do our jobs, everyone will be fine, including this Jinx person.

As they approach the bank, Yoko brakes suddenly, displaying impressive parallel parking skills.

Sarin: You break a lot of stereotypes, Yoko.

Yoko: Huh?

Sarin: You're tiny, yet you kick ass. You're a girl, yet you rush into battle. You're Asian, yet you're an amazing driver.

Yoko: Oh shut up.

Rolling her eyes and trying to block out Sarin's giggling, Yoko hops onto the sidewalk, almost immediately spotting their hired client. Wearing an obnoxiously large cape and Batman-type eye wear, he looked vaguely ridiculous, as if he was hastily drawn in a low-budget comic book.

Yoko: Dan, right?

Dan: I prefer Count Robula.

Yoko: Yeah. It doesn’t matter. Are you prepared?

Dan: Where's the money?

Yoko motions to Sarin, who hands the man known as “Count Robula,” or Dan, a big briefcase, filled with counterfeits. Yuki secured a copy printer and ran them off this morning.

Dan: Well, everything seems to be in order. I just rush into the bank, start a robbery, and leave on your signal. Correct?

Sarin: Right. Please try not to hurt anyone.

Dan: Fine. What's the signal to leave, again?

Yoko: As soon as you see us enter the building, get out of there as fast as you possibly can. Your life is at stake here.

Dan: Hey, now wait just one minute here--

Sarin: You have your money, now do the job you were paid to do!

Grumbling, Dan storms through the bank doors, whipping out a crossbow. Sarin and Yoko duck behind two nearby trashcans, and wait.

Yoko: Keep your head up. Jinx usually hops in through the roof.

Sarin: Oh, I hope everyone is alright in there--

Yoko: I checked out this guy's background. No history of criminal activity. He just needs money for food on the table. He won't excessively hurt anyone.

Sarin nods, consenting. A few moments pass. Silence from the building. Yoko checks her watch.

Yoko: Any minute now...

A shadow up on the roofs catches Sarin’s eye, eventually jumping from one building to the band, landing on the roof.

Sarin: Yoko! It's her!

The pair dashes inside, carrying their trusty weapons, the croquet mallet and magic fan.

Yoko: Good citizens of Okinawa! Do not be alarmed! Gatogal and Frost have come to save the day!

Sure enough, it’s Jinx, this time carrying a large javelin or spear or something similar. Yoko and Sarin quickly rush between her and Count Robula to keep him safe.

Sarin: Jinx…Or whatever your real name is. Listen, we just wanted to talk to you. You have good intentions, but-

Thwip. A wooden stake flies through the air, but only hits the wall.

Dan: Oops. Must have misfi-

Jinx takes her opening and throws the spear, which speeds toward him at a very high speed and quite easily pierces through his chest, pinning him to a wall. He gasps in pain but quickly dies; he was nailed in the heart. Yoko nearly throws up, and Sarin shields herself from the gush of blood squirting from Dan's now deceased body. Everyone in the bank screams and rushes towards the exit. Jinx gracefully walks over to the corpse and examines it, as if confirming the kill, like it was nothing. Before she can depart, Sarin's fan whizzes by, knocking her to the floor.

Sarin: You demon! You despicable monster! That man wasn't even a real villain, you moron! It was staged by us to lure you out! I was trying to tell you that!

Jinx snarls, but remains otherwise impassive, unmoving, cold and calculating.

Yoko: Is that your response? To snarl and growl? I'm sending you to prison if it's the last thing I do!

Letting out a wild battle cry, Yoko charges, swinging her mallet horizontally, hoping to bash Jinx's skull. The nimble female ducks, and counters with a backflip kick, knocking Yoko to the floor. Jinx pulls out her grapple gun and points it at the ceiling, but Sarin’s fan smacks it, throwing off the aim.

Sarin: You’re not leaving. Gatogal, get up! We'll fight her together. Together, we can take her down!

Yoko: Right. Sailor Senshi...SANJOU!

Yoko and Sarin leap to their feet, dashing towards Jinx, weapons and spirits blazing...

Fade.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Jealousy, Partner, and bold statements Oh My! (Credit: Logan)

The scene is in Logan Locke's locker room and he is warming up while Kelly does her make-up. Kelly looks at Logan and back that mirror. She seems if she has something to say but isn't quite sure how to say it. Finally she makes up her mind

Kelly: I don't see why you had to hire an agent any way, you were doing fine by yourself!

Logan: Kelly, we went over this already, I was doing FINE on my own but she can make me GREAT. She comes highly recommended and she can take my career to the next level.

Kelly: But you have been winning, people are listening to you whether they like it or not, I can be your agent

Logan: Kelly just drop! Bambi is going to take us to the top and soon enough, I'll be playin’ with the big boys. I am sorry if you disagree but it is my career and you have no say in it.

Kelly looks like she is about to protest but just then the door swings open and Bambi walks in. She has her coat over her shoulder and she is smiling.

Bambi: Well, I got your partner for tonight! Your partner tonight is (leans in and whispers it to Logan as a smile creeps across his face) And he is quite motivated to dominate tonight.

Logan: Hey good job! See Kel, things are already heating up. Oh by the way Bambi, your skirt is crooked

Bambi looks down and fixes it as she giggles, Logan laughs a little himself but puts his hands up signaling he need no explanation. Kelly just looks disgusted

Logan: This is perfect! XS3 said he has a surprise for me but wait till he see's my surprise. The two of us together...no one can beat us. You know what, I will quit ACW if XS3 can find any man to team up with and beat me and my partner!

Bambi: Thats good! Bold statements, get you more notice that way. Remember that for next week, I got you an endorsement meeting. But for now lets go win this match!

Bambi walks out followed by Logan, followed by Kelly who mimics Bambi fixing her skirt and the crowd laughs. She leaves and shuts the door and the camera fades.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Match 2: XS3 and ?? vs. Logan Locke and ?? (Credit: XS3/Logan)

We make our way back from commercial and we hear the sounds of “Burn In My Light” by Mercy Drive entering the arena. Smoke fills the entrance and Babi Jazlyn comes outs.

Philip: “The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Intro...”

Bambi: “Take a break Phil, I will announce my client! Introducing first, from Jersey, weighing in at 221 lbs, he is accompanied to the ring by Kelly Angel, and of course me... this is the new face of ACW... LOGAN LOCKE!!!”

The crowd boos as Logan continues grinning arrogantly as the three approach the ring. Locke steps onto the apron and Kelly and Bambi walk up the steps and onto the apron. Logan holds the ropes and Kelly bends under the first and second rope followed by Bambi. Logan nods with a smile on his face then jumps into the ring, ready to start the contest. For a while, we hear no music play…

…until the “Hymn to the Soviet Union” plays and the crowd begins to boo double as Dr. Doom makes his way down to the ring, complete with mask and cape.

Philip: “His partner, from Irkutsk, Siberia, weighing in at 215 lbs, this is Dr. Doom!”

Dr. Doom enters the ring and takes his cape off, tossing it to a ring technician. Soon after, “Toxicity” by System of a Down replaces the music of Doom and the crowd begins to cheer.

Philip: “Introducing their opponents, first, from Maple Creek, Saskatchewan, weighing in at 280 lbs, this is ‘The Destined Demolisher’ XS3!”

XS3 does indeed make his way onto the stage, pumping up the crowd. As he goes down the ramp, he pauses to high-five some fans. He finally approaches the ring… then stops. He produces a microphone from his pants pocket and speaks into it.

XS3: “I know you’re anxious for some action but remember this, I have two surprises for you like I confirmed on Warfare.”

Logan points a finger at XS3, threateningly as XS3 resumes speaking.

XS3: “Due to time constraints, it appears out match won’t be happening at Omega Effect. Rather, this match will take place on the Warfare before Omega Effect. And I got to management first so it will be in the main event. Anyone else… well, quite frankly, they can kiss my ass.”

The fans laugh at XS3’s remark as he continues to finish.

XS3: “And just to make sure you get some respect slapped into you, this match will be one of the matches I was known famous for. That’s right Logan. I hope you like your ribs because they’re going through some wood!”

The crowd begins to get what XS3 is saying and they slowly burst into cheers.

XS3: “On the Warfare before Omega Effect, you and me are going to duel… IN A 2/3 TABLES MATCH!”

This generates a huge pop from the audience, especially those who know XS3’s past. Others cheer because they’ve never had this sort of match within ACW before. Logan’s glare only increases as XS3 wraps up his statement.

XS3: “Now for surprise number two, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to give a warm welcome to my partner for the evening.”

They begin to nod then burst out into cheers as “Lady” by Lenny Kravitz hits.

XS3: “Give a round of applause for my partner… ½ of the ACW Tag Team Champions… SARIN ROSSI!”

Sarin does indeed make her way down the ramp, holding her two titles and waving to the fans with a smile on her face. She approaches XS3 and the two nod to one another, signifying respect which increases when the two partners pound fists. The team slides into the ring and Logan and Dr. Doom are more than ready for them.

***Bell rings***

Sarin and Doom start the match off with XS3 and Logan being sent to the apron. The two opponents in the ring circle each other and lock up, collar and elbow style. Sarin gets tossed to the mat as Doom tries to end it early with the For The Union. Unfortunately for him, he is caught with a kick to the head by Sarin followed by an inside cradle. This only produces a two count but it was expected as Dr. Doom proves his stamina. Doom lunges at Sarin for a calf kick but she manages to duck and spring off the ropes. Unfortunately, she brings off the ropes nearest Logan and he catches her with a high kick to the back of the head. Sarin stumbles toward the center of the ring, setting her up for a picture perfect Cold Snap which connects. Doom covers and Sarin gets her shoulder up before three.

Doom then whips Sarin into his corner where Logan awaits a tag. It is accepted and Logan enters the ring while Doom gives Sarin a snap suplex before leaving. XS3 pounds the turnbuckle hoping to enter the match. Logan drops down and applies a ground abdominal stretch. Sarin struggles to escape and she sees XS3 with his hand outstretched wanting a tag. Sarin’s usually more used to tagging with Yoko but with a rivalry like XS3 and Logan’s, she can make an exception. Sarin pounds the mat with her feet, not signifying a submission but a move of pure will and heart to win the match. Sarin slowly rises to a vertical base and finds herself in position for a double wrist suplex. It looks like Sarin won’t complete the move but she uses the momentum to turn the tide on Logan, sending him to the canvas. Sarin crawls over to her corner as XS3 awaits the tag, chomping at the bit for action. Logan makes it to his corner and tags in Doom, the instant that Sarin makes the tag to XS3.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

XS3 enters the ring like a raging bull, knocking down Doom with a running big boot then knocking Logan off the apron with a clothesline. Doom then receives a clothesline of his own then is picked up and placed on XS3’s shoulders in an inverted fireman’s carry. Doom is then spun into the Burning Cradle sidewalk slam and XS3 drops to a cover the instant Doom’s back hits the mat. Just before the ref’s hand can come down for three, Logan enters the ring and breaks the pin with a stomp to the back of XS3’s head. Sarin enters the ring and delivers a running dropkick to the chest of Logan, knocking him out of the ring. Just as Kelly checks up on Logan, Sarin performs a picture perfect crossbody to both. XS3 then gets back to his feet and ducks a clothesline from Doom, setting up for the Fate Sealer. He lifts up Doom and drops him to the canvas. Instead of opting for the pin, he sees Sarin back on the apron.

XS3 gives Sarin a couple words, setting up for a double team move. Sarin accepts a tag from XS3 who whips Doom into the opposite corner. This happens to be Logan’s corner but Logan is down on the outside of the ring, Kelly with him. XS3 runs to the corner where Doom is and gets on all fours. Sarin then dashes towards XS3 and leaps, stepping off his back and hitting a Poetry in Motion style kick. As Doom stumbles out of the corner, XS3 goes behind him and sets up for a move that Yoko and Sarin usually perform. Sarin goes for the Rin Spin II and at the moment she connects, XS3 hits a boot to the back of Doom’s head, completing a different variation of the Rinko Kick. Sarin drops down for the cover as XS3 notices Logan checking up on Kelly. XS3 flips Logan off and he notices the gesture as well as the referee is counting the 1-2-3.

Philip: “Here are your winners, Sarin Rossi and XS3!”

Logan looks shocked at the outcome as Sarin and XS3 give each other a small hug but not passionate by any means as Sarin is already in love with Yoko and XS3 is already married. They release and the ref hands Sarin her two titles then raises the arms of both Sarin and XS3. Doom begins to roll out of the ring as Logan enters and comes from behind Sarin and XS3 with clothesline to the back of their heads. Logan stomps away at XS3 then picks him up, preparing for the Breakdown. He completes one German suplex but has his second countered with a low blow kick that sends him to the apron. Sarin slowly rises just in time to watch XS3 spring off the opposite ropes and deliver a Shadow Step to Logan, sending both men crashing into the guardrail.

Sarin decides not to get involved with this as she takes her two titles and begins walking to the back. Meanwhile, XS3 and Logan have begun a brawl of epic proportions. The fight spills over the guardrail and into the crowd where the fists begin flying. The brawl then spills to the backstage area where the two punch each other with everything they have. Eventually, security guards are there to split up the fight. The camera manages to catch the war of words going on between the two wrestlers.

XS3: “You don’t stand a chance! In two weeks, I will kick your ass!”

Logan: “Ha! You don’t stand a chance against me! You are about to be put on severe Locke Down!”

XS3: “May the lord have mercy on your soul because I won’t!”

The guards drag the two fighters away from each other, having prevented anymore chaos from happening.

Fade to commercial.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Another One In The Bag: The Next Step To Greatness (Credit: Scott)

The scene opens in the Senatorial Locker Room, and what a lovely room it is. Well furnished to a high standard, and of course, the people that make up the Senatorial Stable add that little bit of extra worth.

Scott Andrews is sitting on one of the nice leather lounge chairs in full ring attire. In one hand he rests ‘Lucy’ on his lap, and in the other, a clipboard with a sheet of paper attached. He looks the list up and down, scanning for something. Scott then reaches onto the coffee table in front of him and picks up a pen. He clicks it into the ‘on’ position and scribbles on the piece of paper in front of him. He is interrupted by a polyphonic tune, that of the song “A Favor House Atlantic” by Coheed and Cambria. He puts the clipboard on the table and exchanges it for the phone. Scott flips the phone open and puts it to his ear.

Scott: Hello…

He smiles. Weird, huh?

Scott: Oh hey! …Not much, just editing my Hit List. You?...Oh great, hey are you gonna watch my match tonight with Red? …Yeah I know I’m going to crush him, but are you still going to watch me do it the way only the Skill, Thrill, and the Kill can?! …Good to hear…Yeah, you saw that promo he did? Trying to punk me out, pfft. He’s gonna have to do better than that to --- No I’ll be ok, I promise. I’m freakin’ Scott Andrews! ...Look I gotta go get ready for my match, I’ll talk to you later, ok? …Bye.

A press of a button and the call ends. He folds the phone back down and rests it back on the coffee table. He stands up and stretches with ‘Lucy’ above his head. He then looks at his bat and leans it against the wall.

Scott: I don’t think I’m gonna need you tonight.

He grabs his shades from his locker and slides them on. His signature smirk graces his face and he struts out of frame.

Who was on the phone? I guess we could check the phone bill…No wait it was a mobile. Umm…ah well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

End.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: "Answer This" (Credit: Rattlesnake)

It's been three days since that night. Three days since Rattlesnake stepped into the ring with Yoko Satoshi. A lot of people would just keep going like nothing happened. But this isn't the case for Rattlesnake. He had secluded himself for the last few days before finally going out into public.

As Rattlesnake walks down the street and walks by numerous people. One guy walks up to Rattlesnake and grins.

Guy: If it isn't the "mighty" Rattlesnake. How did it feel to lose to someone that's 5'6 and not even a man?

Rattlesnake walks around the guy without answering. The guy runs and gets right back in front of Rattlesnake. Rattlesnake tries to walk around, but the guy blocks him this time.

Guy: What's your problem? You think you're better than me? Answer the question I asked you!

Rattlesnake slowly looks at the guy's face. Compared to Rattlesnake's 6'8 frame, the guy is probably 5'11, maybe 6 feet tall. Rattlesnake looks away, obviously not wanting to answer the question by this schmuck. After all, this guy hasn't done anything good with his life. His greatest accomplishment was probably passing up the last jelly doughnut at breakfast because he's trying to lose weight. You know the type...the guy that orders the left side of the restaurant menu and a diet coke.

Rattlesnake shakes his head. He doesn't want to answer, but this chump seems awfully insistent.

Rattlesnake: Let me ask you this, why should I have to answer to you?

Guy: I'm a fan. When I buy a ticket, I practically help pay your salary. In that instance, I'm like your boss.

Rattlesnake: When you put it that way, I'm thinking...no. I don't have to answer to you. So let me offer you some very useful advice...turn around and walk away before I do something I'm going to regret. Let's face it, you don't want to see me when I'm angry and if you don't leave, you're going to see it.

The guy starts to walk away when he says one thing that Rattlesnake is able to hear.

Guy: Geez. What an asshole.

Rattlesnake turns and looks at the guy. He shakes his head as he walks over to the guy. Rattlesnake reaches out and grabs the guy's shoulder and spins him around. The guy looks frightened as he notices Rattlesnake's upper lip beginning to twitch, his nostrils flared, and the rest of the obvious appearance of being pissed off.

Rattlesnake: What did you just call me?

Guy: I-I-I-I didn't c-c-c-c-call you anyth-th-th-th-thing.

Rattlesnake: Bullshit! I heard what you said! You called me an asshole.

Guy: N-N-N-N-No I didn't.

Rattlesnake: Listen chumpstains, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would just listen to a fart.

Rattlesnake grabs the guy's shirt collar and pulls him close to his face.

Rattlesnake: Now, let me tell you something. If I wanted to really beat her, I would have. You can't look at me and think that she actually beat me.

Guy: R-R-R-R-Right.

Rattlesnake: That being said, why don't you take your leave?

Rattlesnake releases the guy's collar and he runs off, screaming. Rattlesnake shakes his head and keeps on going.

Everybody is the same. They think that just because they buy a ticket, they deserve some sort of explanation. They don't deserve that. And if they decide to ask something like that, then they should get an ass-kicking that they truly deserve.

Rattlesnake walks down the street with a lot of things on his mind. Only a few of them will get resolved in the coming weeks.

Fade Out.

[Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune]

Segment: Anything you can do… (Credit: AK/Latino)

It’s still early in the show, but as the scene begins, the state of Latino and AK’s dressing room suggests that they’ve been there for a little while already. As they both have to prepare for a match, it’s a little bit hectic, but fortunately the mood seems to be somewhat lighter than it was on Warfare. AK paces into the shot, half in her ringwear and half still in her street clothes.

AK: Darling, have you seen my top?

The camera pans around a little to reveal Latino standing in front of the mirror, unbuttoning his shirt. He casts an eye around and spots a small patch of white, which when extracted from the pile is indeed Alicia’s missing garment. He throws it to her casually.

Latino: There you go, Mami.

Alicia catches it, and slips off her t-shirt so that she is facing away from the camera, giving the fans a view of her bra straps. There are a couple of cheeky wolf-whistles from the fans as she puts on her fresh top.

AK: So… who do you think you killed in a previous life to deserve having to tag with BK again this evening?

Latino smiles, and shakes his head.

Latino: Oh, I can handle him no problem. Don’t worry, I won’t let BK hurt you, I want you in top condition for our Omega Effect match.

Alicia raises an eyebrow.

AK: Really? I’ve already instructed RDK to break at least two of your limbs…

They catch one another’s eye, and laugh. Latino gets a slightly more serious look on his face.

Latino: Honey, I don’t want you to take it personally, but I think I stand a great chance to win tonight. Tag teams are just one of the things I do really well.

AK:….by which you really mean, “better than me?”

Latino: Well if you want to put it like that… yea.

Alicia’s nose wrinkles, and then she snorts with laughter.

AK: Sweetie, I don’t mean to be unkind, really I don’t… but I believe you’ll find that if you want to be petty and measure stuff, I’m better than you at, well, most things.

Latino laughs out loud.

Latino: Oh Yea?! Such as?

AK: Hmmm… well, for starters, I can speak French, which you can’t.

Latino: Who needs French when you speak the best language in the world, Spanish?

AK: Come on, you know a few swearwords and names for family members en Espangol.

Latino furrows his brow.

Latino: So what? I’m a better cook than you are?

AK: You do one dish decently… if you did all the cooking we’d subsist purely on Spanish Rice and Tortillas.

Latino: Muerta! All incidental… whereas, in the ring…

AK: Who made the Senator tap out?

Latino: Hey-

AK: KOed Yoko with a jumping piledriver?

Latino: That’s not-

AK: Beat the infamous Lord of Hardcore in his very own deathmatch?

Latino: Ok, OK!!!! WE GET THE DAMN PICTURE!!

Latino punts a cushion across the room into a corner; there is a muffled woof, and both AK and Latino see Pacino awakening from his snooze. Latino gets a big grin across his face.

Latino: Aha! Now I’ve got you beaten… I am the best with animals, and most of all my wonderful dog.

AK: What about Richard Parker?

Latino gestures to scratches on AK’s arm.

Latino: Devil-cat doesn’t count.

AK:…all right, point taken. But still…

She looks at Pacino again.

AK: Are you prepared to put your money where your mouth is?

Latino: In what way?

AK: We’ll go to opposite sides of the room, and on the count of 3 we’ll both call Pacino over to us. Whoever he goes to first wins.

Latino folds his arms confidently.

Latino: You are SO on. Let’s do this…

The pair quietly move into position, and Latino counts silently down with his fingers; 3….2…..1….

Latino: Pacino! Come here, boy! Time to play!

AK: Hey, big Al! Want to get a hug from your favorite person? Come on!

Pacino’s ears lift up; he looks from side to side, with his head tipped as if he’s trying to work out what’s going on. Drawn first one way and then the other, it looks as if AK’s going to win the day…

AK: Yes, that’s it! Who’s a good doggy?

Latino: No, no, Pacino, Latino needs you!

Pacino hesitates, and whines a little, not knowing what to do. Suddenly though, his ears prick up, and he bounds directly to… the door.

Latino: What?

There is a knock, and then the door opens up…

Yoko: Er… is this a bad time, Alicia? Oh, hey Pacino…

Pacino barks and wags his tail happily as Yoko pets him.

Yoko: Don’t worry, I can come back later. See you…

Yoko closes the door, and Pacino sits down next to it, waiting expectantly. Alicia and Latino look at one another.

AK:…..and so Yokoberg triumphs again.

Latino: If this were one of Hunter’s promos, there would be a moral lesson about now.

AK: Yes, and it would be “Never work with children or animals”.

Alicia smiles, and Latino does too; having both been rightfully upstaged by their faithful canine companion, they go back to getting ready as the scene fades out.