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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:40:55 GMT -5
Thursday Night Meltdown 9th February 2006
Schedule of Matches: -----------------------------------
Cold Blooded Killers vs. The Lost Boys
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Ballroom Massacre Rena vs. Rawt
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Latino vs. Red's Only Fan
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Macho Man RDK and Alicia Kitsune vs. The Capitalists w/Senator
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Torak vs. Tornado
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Hunter vs. Kudo
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ACW Light-HeavyWeight Title Match - No DQ Jake Cheng vs BK London
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ACW International Title Match Santiago Rivera vs. Dan White
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:41:36 GMT -5
There’s no beating around the bush tonight; The fans get their 10 seconds or so on camera, and then it’s straight into the action, as the Alphatron gears up for another busy night…
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:42:35 GMT -5
Segment: Beer is the answer (Credit: Tornado)
We cut to a rather small, fairly grotty local bar. The local hicks are dancing to their country music and beating up their friends. The biker gang are sipping their lemonade and planning tonight’s ‘anarchy’ to the last detail. The high school kids who barely look 15 are all trying out their brand new Fake ID’s…and being turned away by the dozen due to the fact they’re in school uniform; and it’s only 5pm…what is this world coming to?
As the crowd watches this pre-recorded scene from earlier in the day, it seems like everyone is with their respective groups, all except one lonely figure in the far corner knocking drinks back like there’s no tomorrow. As we zoom in closer it becomes apparent that the lonely character is a well known person to ACW fans and staff alike; it’s our very own, former ACW Junior Champion…Tornado.
He downs a glass of whiskey and puts it down next to the others, which are numerous in amount.
Tornado: Hey, Sweetcheeks! Gimme another one…and make it a double. Oh…and gimme the good stuff.
’Sweetcheeks’ bends slowly over, clearly with the intention of giving Tornado an eyeful, to pick up another tumbler. She fills up the glass with a single malt whiskey and leans over on the bar to hand it to him, and to show of her surgically enhanced assets.
‘Sweetcheeks’: So, how come I’ve not seen you in here before?
Tornado: Because I usually go to the clubs. I’m only in here ‘cos no-one would expect it, therefore I won’t be found.
‘Sweetcheeks’: Hiding from the girlfriend or wife, eh?
Tornado: Nah, it’s much worse than that!
Tornado glances down and ends up staring at her impressive cleavage. He pushes the glass forward and nods. She picks up the glass and give Tornado another good view as she pours him another drink. She comes back with the drink and leans onto the bar again bringing Tornado into a trancelike state where he does nothing but stare at her breasts for nearly 30 seconds.
Tornado: Is it cold in here?
‘Sweetcheeks’ stands up and looks down at her breasts and seems mildly embarrassed to notice that her nipples are standing up like little soldiers on parade. She shrugs nonchalantly and leans back onto the bar once again.
‘Sweetcheeks’: I guess so, maybe you can ‘warm me up’ when I finish…
Tornado: I’d love to but I doubt I’ll be in any fit state after tonight, you can come visit me in casualty though.
‘Sweetcheeks’ looks puzzled.
Tornado: Okay, I’ll explain. I’m a wrestler you see, and a damn good one too…
He grins to himself before continuing.
…but the problem is, tonight I’ve got a match against a complete monster who tortures people for fun…and he’s probably gonna rip my freakin’ head off.
Tornado looks as if the severity of his match later tonight has finally hit him as he downs the contents of his glass and slumps onto the bar.
‘Sweetcheeks’: What about that guy over there? He can’t be bigger than him!
She points to a guy who stands well above the crowd, he must weigh nearly 300lbs and stand around 7 ft tall.
Tornado: Well he’s around the same build as him but the guy I gotta face is disturbed, I’m telling you. He enjoys hurting people and he’ll probably enjoy hurting me tonight. That guy is nothing…he looks like a complete pussy in comparison to Torak.
The guy Tornado referred to as a ‘complete pussy’ turns around and makes his way over and cracks a pool cue over Tornado’s back. He laughs but is taken completely by surprise as Tornado gets to his feet, grabs a bottle from behind the bar and smashes it over the guy’s head; knocking him out cold.
The guy’s friend’s advance on Tornado but take a sharp step back as Tornado produces a blade.
Tornado: You want a fucking go? Eh? Just you try, I’ll cut your fucking --
He is cut off by the sound of a shotgun being cocked, he spins around to see 2 barrels under the control of the bar manager being aimed at his face.
Manager: Git out boy. You ain’t welcome here.
Tornado stumbles over to the door but turns around as he is about to leave.
Tornado: HEY! Sweetcheeks!
She turns her head to hear what he has to say.
Tornado: You should go work in Hooters. You’re ‘talents’ are wasted here.
On that note, Tornado falls through the door and into the harsh afternoon sun. He picks himself up off the floor and stumbles over to his car then spends nigh on 10 minutes searching for his keys.
Tornado: Where the fuck are they? I know they’re in one of these damn pockets…ARGH! Why are there so man--oh, there they are.
He now struggles with getting the key into the lock and lets out a little cheer as the key finally slides in, springing the car door open. He climbs slowly in, headbutting the doorframe as he does so but eventually gets himself seated and gets the key into the ignition.
He sits there for a minute, seemingly proud of this achievement before actually starting the engine and putting the car into gear. He roars out of his parking space and comes to an abrupt halt 15 meters down the road as he collides with a Police Car.
The disgruntled officers step purposely out of their vehicle and tap their ‘nightsticks’ on Tornado’s windscreen, urging him to get out. He climbs out and places his hands on the roof while leaning against the car.
Tornado: Are you arresting me? But I’m not black…don’t you only arrest ethnic minorities over here?
This seems to rile one of the officers who slams Tornado’s head into the car and proceeds to read him his rights; however, Tornado doesn’t hear them as he has fallen asleep before they even manage to cuff him.
Voiceover: What will happen now? Will Tornado get to the arena for his match tonight? And if he does will he be in any fit state to wrestle?
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:45:30 GMT -5
Segment: Broken Promises (Credit: BK)
As the scene begins we find Latino walking through the hallway, continuing to be stressed with the recent evens that has occurred. He walks through the hall and runs both his hands through his hair and takes a big sigh before walking into the restroom. As he walks he hears the sound of running water and looks over toward the sink where a crew worker is just finishing up washing his hands and he walks past Latino to exit. Latino walks over to the sink and begins to turn on the water, the sound of the running water is soothing and he manages to configure it so it's nice and warm. He opens his hands, which are placed side by side, under the sink and then proceeds to wipe his water with his face almost as if he wants to cleanse all the stress away. He takes another breath and it echoes around the bathroom as the water drips down his face and suddenly he is joined by another person.
The door slams shut and Latino hopes to catch a glimpse of who stepped in in the reflection of the mirror. He knows that it could be anyone coming through the door and he is ready as he forms his hands in the form of a fist. Suddenly he sees a less than happy BK London step in the bathroom. BK stops when he sees Latino and the emotionless expression that was once on his face when he entered the ring turned into somewhat anger. Latino doesn't pick up this too quickly and he unballs his fist, he goes back to washing his face and BK walks up to an empty sink leaving one sink free between the partners. BK also turns on the water and as it rushes down he manages to dampen the scars and bruises left on his neck from his battle with Kudo...and the aftermath.
Latino: Rough week eh?
BK: ....
BK's silence towards Latino is a mystery for him as BK continues to dampen his wounds to possibly ease the pain. One of the faucet turns off and BK turns back around and looks to exit the rest room but Latino rushes behind him and grabs him by his shoulder. BK turns around in a rage and simply tosses the arm of Latino off his shoulder and continues to glare at him.
Latino: What's wrong with you man? You've been like this ever since Warfare.
BK: ....
BK continues to stare at Latino breathing in and out very hard and Latino notices his clenched fists. Suddenly BK unclenches his fists and attempts to exit the ring again but Latino manages to make it past BK and he shuts the door as BK gets a hold of the handle.
Latino: No! You won't leave here until you tell me what's wrong with you. I'm your partner and we're supposed to work as a unit. Now tell me what's wrong with you.
BK: What's wrong with me? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! There's only one thing wrong with me at the moment and it's you Latino.
Latino: Me? What did I do?
BK: It's what you didn't do Latino. Do you remember earlier in the night? We promised that we'd have one another's back earlier in the night.
Latino: And I did! I came down to the ring.
BK: You came down to the ring a little to fucking late Latino. You know how many times I have suffered concussions over my time in ACW? 79 times Latino! That's not healthy. By the time you came down to the ring the damage was already done and where were you?
Latino: Well I was..
BK: You were looking for Torak. Your emotions got in the way of our pact Latino, our pact as partners. I shouldn't have to be the victim of something that I am in no way, shape, or form, part of. I shouldn't be the one, totally knocked out in the fucking ring because of something that spilled between you almost one year ago. And I DO plan take matters into my own hands.
BK stresses the one by holding up one finger to Latino in his face and Latino continues to be taken back by the words coming out of BK's mouth.
BK: Now tonight, you can still watch my back in my match with Jake Cheng tonight, it's your choice but remember who has to team up with you for our match against the Cold Blooded Killers...because I sure won't. Now get out of my way.
BK walks by Latino and nearly pushes him down in a rage but Latino manages to stagger back and keep his balance. As the camera closes into his face, which is still dripping with water, it appears to be that the word of BK London are still sounding over and over in his head and even piercing him on the inside. Latino slumps down on the wall in the bathroom and let's out a huge sigh as the camera fades out.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:46:15 GMT -5
Segment: Capitol Idea (Credit: Senator)
Coming back from the break, the Capitalists are in the Senatorial Office with their boss, who is mulling over a match on his plasma screen, rewinding and playing in slow motion.
The Senator: Hmph, I should know that the “Best of the Macho Man RDK Volume 2” would not have the best matches to study for the man’s weaknesses, but on short notice, and a restricted schedule, it is the best I can do…at least until I watch you guys face him up close and personal.
Anthony Kalb: You can take him, just like we are going to. Thanks for getting us that match here on Meltdown, we should be able to handle those two with you in our corner.
Kevin Fitsharris: Are you nuts? We’re facing RDK AND Alicia Kitsune! They were the ACW Tag Team champions! They’ve both been champs! Well, at least RDK was…
Kalb: Don’t worry, Kev, we can pull this out, they’re one Adam Smith Driver away from a loss…that is, provided that you can cut off the save.
Fitsharris: Hey, don’t fret over me, K, I’ll be just fine! I just hope you can hold up your end!
Kalb: You’re concerned about me holding up my end? Last I heard…
Senator: Stop it! I am trying to concentrate here, and in any case, your bickering had better end right here, right now, or neither of you will have the ghost of a chance in obtaining the win! Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do…
Kalb: Yes sir!
Anthony Kalb does a sloppy mock salute to Phillips, and drags Fitsharris out of the room with him.
Kalb: Now then, seriously, I think that we can win this, Kev, if you didn’t notice from what ol’ bossman said earlier, he’ll be in our corner…and you know how he gets on their nerves…
Fitsharris: Yes indeed, that, my friend, is the truth!
Kalb groans at the ripped off catchphrase, but the two Capitalists smile, with a confidence that only comes with hubris, ignorance, or perhaps, a true understanding of the situation.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:47:09 GMT -5
Match 1: Cold Blooded Killers vs. The Lost Boys (Credit: WD)
Philip: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a tag team contest! Coming firs to the ring, representing Fallout, Uriel and Memnoch…the Lost Boys!
‘Cry Little Sister’ hits and there’s a small pop for the two Californians, who run down towards the ring. They slide in Kendrick-style and both climb the turnbuckles in succession, before jumping down. The two former Junior Tag champions then wait for their opponents as they test the ropes.
Philip: And weighing at a combined weight of 484 pounds, Scott Andrews and Lex do La Rocha…the Cold-Blooded Killers!
"New Noise" begins to flood through the arena as the Cold Blooded Killers emerge through the curtains. They walk side by side, a cocky smile on each of their faces. As they strut casually down to the ring they ignore the crowd’s remarks and even encourage it with their own retaliation remarks. As both Scott and NBK reach the ring apron, they simultaneously jump onto it. Each then perform a Chris Jericho-esque ring apron taunt, and then enter in a Chris Jericho fashion, simultaneously of course. Both men head towards the center of the ring. Scott moves in front of the taller NBK and gets on one knee. He performs his Chavo-esque taunt while NBK flexes his incredible biceps. Both smirk and return to normal as Andrews leaves the ring, as does Memnoch, so it’s NBK and Uriel to start this match off.
Bell Rings.
Uriel and NBK circle the ring a couple of times, before they lock into a front hold. Uriel tries to get the better of NBK, but NBK shoves him off. Uriel stumbles a couple of steps back, and NBK grabs his hand with his other hand, and delivers three hard chops to the chest. Each one results in the inevitable reaction from the fans, as NBK whips Uriel at the ropes. NBK grabs Uriel and hits a powerful powerslam, making the early cover but failing to get much from it. He slowly climbs up to his feet and looks around, as Uriel slowly follows. NBK gives him a knee to the face whilst still looking into the crowd and taunting as he delivers a second knee to the face. NBK then whips Uriel to the corner, and he tags in Scott Andrews. Both Andrews and NBK deliver kicks to the gut in the corner, with Uriel’s hopes of getting back into the match seemingly dashed. NBK lifts him back up and tries to whip him into the opposite corner, but as he does so, Uriel makes a quick tag to Memnoch. Andrews naturally follows Uriel, but doesn’t realize the tag, as Uriel runs up the turnbuckle and Memnoch jumps up and springboards off the ropes, both hitting a double flying DDT. The fans cheer for the high-flying move as Memnoch gets up and sorts his hair out, placing it behind his ear. He lifts Andrews up, and tries a whip but Andrews reverses it. Andrews hits an arm drag, with the momentum forcing Memnoch back to his feet. Andrews runs at Memnoch, but Memnoch hits his own arm drag.
As Andrews rolls back onto his feet, Memnoch runs up and hits him with a powerful spinning leg lariat. Both drop to the floor, with Memnoch making the cover, but it’s not enough to keep the former tag team champion down as he gets a foot up. Memnoch slowly climbs to his feet, looking a little down with the result, lifting Andrews up alongside him. He whips Andrews to the ropes and drops to the floor, as Andrews bounces off the ropes twice. Memnoch gets up and tries to hit a dropkick, but Andrews manages to stay at the ropes as Memnoch falls to the floor. Andrews then tags in NBK, who smugly climbs into the ring. He lifts Memnoch up and lifts him onto his shoulders. He completes the Fireman’s Carry Bomb, launching him into the air before hitting an X-Factor. NBK then rolls him over and jumps up, signaling for the Hollywood Boulevard Elbow. He points at Memnoch, smirking, and then runs at the ropes. He stops, kisses his bicep and hits an elbow before getting back up, kissing the other bicep, but before anything can happen Memnoch rolls him into a backslide pin:
1
2
Kickout by NBK!
The fans ‘aww’ as NBK gets a shoulder up, with Memnoch surprised that he nearly got victory. But with the beating he took, he knows he must make the tag and he does so as Uriel enters the ring. Uriel quickly beats down on NBK, giving him a couple of closed-fist punches to the face. Uriel lifts him up and kicks him in the gut, hitting a double-underhook suplex, which is quite impressive for someone 80 lbs lighter than NBK. Uriel just shrugs it off though as he climbs the turnbuckle, hoping to hit the Darkness Falls (Corkscrew Moonsault). He nearly hits it, but NBK pulls his knees up and Uriel falls onto them. This gives the former tag champions a chance as NBK hurries over and tags in Andrews. Raring to go, the Scarlet Assassin runs at Uriel, hitting a flying elbow to the chest. Uriel falls, and Andrews quickly gets to his feet. Andrews picks Uriel up, and throws him at the ropes. Andrews tries to hit a clothesline but Uriel ducks it, and tries to hit a flying chop block, but Andrews forces the hand away. Both turn around to face each other, and Andrews launches an incredible kick to the cranium of Uriel, knocking him out with the Head Shot. Andrews makes the pin, and Memnoch is unable to break the pin, just falling the wrong side of three as CBK gets the win. Philip: Here are your winners, CBK!
"New Noise" hits again, and the fans start to jeer again as Andrews quickly climbs to his feet, doing a victory pose as NBK enters the ring, attacking Memnoch. The music is quickly cut as NBK and Andrews both double-team on Memnoch, throwing him into the corner. They lift him up, climbing either side and delivering a double underhook drive to the mat, in a move known as the ‘One Shot Kill’. It’s enough to force Memnoch’s head to rip open, with crimson red trickling down his forehead, and onto the mat. “New Noise” hits again as CBK leave the ring, with paramedics coming onto the scene. They both leave through the curtains, once again proving how big of a force they really are.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:48:36 GMT -5
Segment: Date of Reckoning (Credit: BK)
As the scene opens the camera is now in Gingerdude's office, it has obviously been renovated with the surplus of space in Ginger's room, into two rooms in which the secretary of Ginger has acquired a room. It is built in a way that anybody who wants to see the Chairman himself has to pass through the Secretary's room, in the upcoming moments this will prove to be a task easier said than done.
Instead of the polite knock on the door BK London nearly kicks down the oak door and he manages to enter the secretary's area before reaching Ginger's. BK sees the gold plate on the front of the door which says "Chairman of ACW Gingerdude". Once he spots this he makes a b-line for the room and the secretary rises up from her seat and attempts to make sure the same events that happened with Santiago this week doesn't happen again. The moment in which BK is in front of the door she approaches him only to get a pie-face back into her seat with BK not even looking at her. The secretary falls back into her seat and the seat tips over backwards getting a huge laugh from the crowd.
He enters Gingerdude's room and makes a b-line for the Chairman of the Board who is just about to enjoy a nice spot of tea. Before Ginger can react, London in one fatal sweep clears all teacups, saucers, biscuits, and the tea kettle sending them all hurling to the ground, shattering instantly. BK proceeds to grab Ginger's collar and he nearly pulls him over the table and the two are now face to face.
Ginger: What's the meaning of all this?
BK: I want Torak, and I want him next Monday.
BK feels two sets of two arms grab him from behind and he is overwhelmed by the mighty strength. The camera pulls back and it reveals BK London thrashing around in the arms of Ginger's new security the duo of Hubert and Crocjaw. BK tries his hardest to escape the clutches of these two but they're much harder to escape than the bumbling duo of Tyrone and Bruce.
BK: Get the fuck off of me!
Hubert: You want us to take care of him, Sir?
Ginger manages to roll off the table during this time and he adjusts the collar and his hair before walking around his table. He walks up to the struggling Ginger and chuckles.
Ginger: It would probably be best to quit struggling BK. You are only going to tire yourself before your match with Jake tonight. Now, you want Torak in a match? Next Monday?
BK: Next Monday, Next Thursday, Next five minutes. Whenever, as long as I get my hands on that giant green motherfucker.
Ginger: That type of language isn't tolerated her Mr. London, but because your sooooo special...
Ginger lightly taps BK on the cheek and BK pulls away.
Ginger:.....we'll make an exception.
Ginger is amused and he turns himself towards his window and begins to stare outside the window with his hands behind him as he continues to talk.
Ginger: And as far as your request for the match goes, for sometime next week. It's denied. Only because your booked on Monday, and Torak is already booked in a match with an opponent that will be announced later. Plus we wouldn't want you in the same condition as you were on Monday, right before your birthday. But you will manage to face him one on one, one on one on February 20th of Warfare, right before Bloody Valentine.
Ginger turns around and looks at BK with a heelish smirk.
Ginger: That is if you can make it to February 20th.
BK: Is that a threat?
Ginger: Well, upon his return I have severed all ties with Torak so he's a free man and he can basically do what he wants when he wants. That's all I'll say about this matter though...Hubert, Crocjaw, please escort BK London out the office..
They hoist BK into the air and BK continues to thrash around before opening the door. Upon exiting Ginger's room the secretary is just getting her things together from that falls and flips BK off before he is dumped outside.
BK falls ass first on the ground in front of Ginger's office and the door is shut. As the camera closes in we take a look at the former ACW Champion smiling, he has gotten exactly what he wanted, and he can't wait for February 20th to come.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:49:31 GMT -5
Segment: Teacher! Teacher! I have a Question! (Credit: Latino)
As the scene begins, Latino is pacing back and forth in the hallways. He’s running his hands back and forth through his hair as he hears someone down the hall yelling his name. He jumps a bit not sure who it is but then stops and gives out a “Dammit” as Charlotte runs into view. Latino has his back turned as he still looks a bit stressed over the last few shows.
Charlotte: Latino! I have a few questions. What do you feel about the recent actions of Torak?
Latino: What do I think? The guy is after me and anyone in the same vicinity of me.
Charlotte: What do you exactly mean?
Latino turns around as he hears Charlotte’s second question.
Latino: What do you mean, what do I mean? It’s just that. I can’t do a damn thing without this man being somewhere close by. I look to the right he’s there. I look to the left he’s there! L-Let me ask you something. How would you feel if you took out one of the biggest threats and thought he was gone for good only to return?
Charlotte: I wo-
Latino: You’d be a nervous wreck too! I mean I can’t go anywhere without someone asking me about him or seeing him somewhere! Oh my god and then there’s my uncle. Do you know how it is to have family come to your work?
Charlotte: Well my sister sometimes brings me lunch.
Latino: Yea well my family brings me guilt and old time memories. You think I need that along with everything going on? Let’s not forgot my wife needs to get bodyguards just to be safe. What does that say about me?
Charlotte: …Well what about your tag team with BK London? You two seem to be working more as a team.
Latino: Yea….well….I didn’t go out there to save him for his own safety. I did it for MY own reasons. I don’t need him by my side to take out Torak….
Latino stops talking and just looks forward. Charlotte looks in the same direction and then back at Latino with a puzzled look on her face. Charlotte starts calling his name trying to get back his attention.
Charlotte: Latino? …Are…you there?
Latino: You want to know what’s more annoying than Torak or my damn partner? It’s that damn cat.
Charlotte: What?
Latino runs his hand down his face and once again starts pacing around Charlotte. She keeps trying to keep the microphone at his mouth but Latino moves quickly as he starts talking.
Latino: It like doesn’t shut up. I mean I try to sleep next to my beautiful wife…and the damn thing doesn’t shut up. How many times does it have to meow at night. I can’t even get any sleep.
Charlotte: Umm…Latino maybe you ne-
Latino: And sometimes I want to just take my boot and throw it at the thing’s face. Thinking that maybe…just maybe I’ll knock him the hell out for one night. And then…and then Dios Mios! Y eso maldice perro come todo mi queso y entonces caga por todas partes el engranaje de lucha!
Latino starts walking away speaking more Spanish as fast as his tongue can go. Charlotte looks a little confused as to what just happened but gives a shrug to the camera as the scene fades to black.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:51:50 GMT -5
Segment: Another One Bites The Dust (Credit: WeDrag)
The ACW fans are settling down after the first few events that have occurred so far tonight. A camera pans across the second tier front seats, where the fans get a rare moment on TV, and they waste no time in taking this chance, holding up the numerous signs. There are several held up, with the most notable including 'Queen > Floyd', 'Dan White fears England' and 'BK London = Sellout' before the camera cuts back to the ring area, where Philip stands in the ring with a microphone. Most people assume that he's about to announce the next match, but when a remix of the Welsh National Anthem hits, Philip turns to the alphatron, looking rather annoyed as Dan White walks out. He has a cocky grin on his face as he shows off a beige suit, and then reaches into his top corner pocket on his jacket, pulling out some sunglasses, Oakleys, of course. He slowly struts down to the ring, making gestures to the fans, including the ever-so-cheesy click-then-double point. He then goes up to a fan, offering to shake his hand, but as he goes to shake it, Dan, suddenly pulls his hand away, mocking stroking his hair as he turns and climbs up the steel steps. He enters the ring above the middle rope and gives out a grin as he looks at Philip, visually demanding the microphone. Philip grudgingly hands the microphone over, and Dan taps it a couple of times to make sure it works. Content with the sound it’s giving, Dan then begins to speak.
Dan: So tonight is the night where the Welsh Dragon Dan White steps up his game. Or does he? Because less than four months ago, I was the headliner of Samhain. Now I’m stuck fighting for a two-bit belt that doesn’t even look good on me. And believe me, very little doesn’t look good on me. But nonetheless, I’ll take the shot, and surely enough, win the title. I just cannot wait to see the look on the face of Senator, Hunter and co when I take the belt, and add it to the WORLD Tag Titles, because you see we aren’t little league players here boys. We don’t run around the Fallout Division getting the ‘elusive’ Junior Tag Title belts. Oh no, we go for the best, and win. And the reason for that is that, simply, we are just that damn good at what we do. We also have the Light-Heavyweight championship, which Jake holds and proved that it’s better than the World title last week as he defeated Latino. Yup, I said it. And if you could hear me in the back you’d know that I’m a strong supporter of that belt. That belt means a lot to me, from when I defeated Jake to when I was harshly stripped of the belt. Along with my Entertainment strap, it just shows how I was so harshly SCREWED out of both those belts. The Lightweight strap I was stripped of. The Entertainment strap I wasn’t even pinned and I lost. But it’s just the politics these days, and those people get what was coming. Mercer died, and Bob lost his job.
Dan laughs at his comments, but the fans boo him about the Bob comment. A ‘Bob’ chant slowly starts and fills the arena, and Dan allows them to perform the chant as he waits at the ropes for them to finish.
Dan: Anyways let’s move on to other things. Kudo Yasuda. He’s a man who has broken the Entertainment title reign and then some. But he’s also a crafty little bugger, which shows in how he managed to escape a defeat from me last year. But anyways I just want to throw some facts in the air, Kudo. Numero Uno – and I hope you’re writing this down. I defeated one of the best Lightweight champions of all time in Jake Cheng to win my belt. You managed to beat a Celtic warrior lost in time, the champion, who had rabies at that point and some little shitty wannabe who can’t carry his own matches. That means my win was better than yours. During your reign so far, you have beaten a green Hitman, some loser Mexican whose name I cannot even be arsed to remember, and injured Senator, and Cernunnos again. I however defeated the then-good Bladeshadow TWICE, Jake Cheng twice, Davey Marvel, who I recall BEAT you to win EOTR, The Canadian Dragon Teddy Hart, who is one of the best indy wrestlers in North America, and I also beat Gary. Therefore I’m a great champion than you.
The fans boo again as Dan holds his hands out, telling them to quieten a little as he finishes.
Dan: By the way, Kudo. I think we’ve forgotten that you haven’t even won the Light-Heavyweight strap yet! So don’t even think of calling yourself a credible Light-Heavyweight until you win that belt. Game over, I win once again. And that, my friend, is a right…
Dan pauses, as usual. But before he can finish, Chairman Gingerdude’s theme hits the PA system. The fans cheer for Gingerdude as he makes his way to the top of the ramp, microphone in hand. Dan looks rather annoyed at the interference, and from past experiences knows that this can be nothing but bad news for him.
Gingerdude: Hold it, Dan. You’ve already bored these people to death with a boring promo, but let’s look at the REAL facts. Number one – and I hope you’re writing THIS down! You never even defended your belt on PPV – what kind of champion does that make you?
The fans ‘ooooh’ as Dan goes towards the ropes, shouting abuse off the microphone towards Gingerdude.
Gingerdude: Secondly, I took a look at some archives, and came across a show from this time last year. I won’t mention who was in it or what the result was, but let’s say it was a little entertaining.
Dan knows exactly which event he’s talking – and doesn’t like being reminded of it as Ginger carries on.
Gingerdude: But I thought that it’s been a long time since then, and that we ought to give something more to the fans. You’re a stiff wrestler after not wrestling in almost two months, so I need to give you a challenge. After tonight, when you face Santiago for the International championship, in a No Holds Barred match, you will face a man you claimed you were never scared of. At that man is…
He pauses for dramatic effect. But as Gingerdude opens his mouth, Dan already knows who his opponent is going to be as he sinks to his knees before Gingerdude even utters a single sound. Gingerdude stops and looks at Dan, smirking as he places the microphone to his lips once again.
Gingerdude: …TORAK!
The fans boo for the mention of the name, but again cheer as Dan hears the worst possible person he could have had to have faced. Gingerdude then looks at Dan gives him a smile, before his music hits and he makes an exit. But the focus is on Dan, who almost looks up to the sky with his hands in a prayer position. But Dan gets to his feet, realizing that he’s not like that anymore. He picks up the microphone, going to the ropes, and shouts in the direction of Gingerdude.
Dan: So is that all you’ve got?! Torak ISN’T immortal, you know! Yeah sure he might be the most feared man in ACW, but that doesn’t mean I won’t win! I’m ‘The Welsh Dragon’ Dan White!
Gingerdude turns around right before he exits through the curtain, giving an ‘as if’ look. Dan just stands, looking a little twitchy but tries to remain looking as cool as possible as we fade out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:52:54 GMT -5
Segment: Spy games (Credit: AK/RDK)
The image that appears on the screen as the scene starts is one that ACW regulars might vaguely recall. It is a shopping mall, much like those found in any mid sized American town, but the ornamental fountains and central food court give it away as the location for ACW’s semi-mythic “Mayhem at the Mall” contest. Today, thankfully, things are peaceful; the crowds are large enough to give the place warmth, but not so dense as to make the actual business of shopping a chore.
This mall also has one other very important feature; its visitors are acclimatized to seeing the various members of the ACW roster in casual guise, which provides the opportunity for some much-needed recreation on the part of the superstars. It’s an opportunity which the former tag champions AK and RDK are making the most of; they’ve pitched up at the local Starbucks after an afternoon’s hard trekking in search of various bits and pieces on which to fritter away their paychecks…
RDK: I’ll get the refreshments, sista. What’ll it be?
AK: Oh, I need to keep a check on my carbs… I’ll just have a diet soda.
RDK gives her a glance and a raise of his legendary eyebrow.
AK:……oh go on then, hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows and extra chocolate syrup.
RDK: Now you’re talking! Ooooh Yeah, I won’t be two shakes.
RDK pops into the café, leaving AK to stack their various bags up next to their outside table. As she checks her purse, she becomes aware of someone standing just on the periphery of her vision. By looking across the way at the window of the shop opposite, she can see that the figure is a man in a black suit, wearing back shades and with what looks like a two way radio in his hand. He’s hovering just to one side of a potted palm, which of course makes him look even more suspicious. AK sighs, and doesn’t even turn her head.
AK: Do you have the faintest idea how daft you look, Ron?
Ron at first pretends that he hasn’t heard, then that he’s checking his watch. AK rolls her eyes, and lobs a packet of sugar directly at his forehead.
Ron: Ow! What the…
AK: You’re allowed to talk to me, you know.
Ron rubs his head and comes over. As is the case with most bizarre happenings, everyone else completely ignores him.
Ron: I’ll have you know, this is for your benefit. We’re trying to cultivate a professional image, so as to quell any fears on the part of your nearest and dearest.
AK: I see… well I appreciate the effort, but I’ve already got Hunter poncing about pretending he’s the white version of Wesley Snipes. I don’t need a pair of Caucasian cockney Will Smith wannabes too.
Ron: Arse, I was going for Tommy Lee Jones.
He smiles, and AK smiles back. Just then, Ron’s radio crackles into life.
Voice (distorted): Come in, Panther –zzzzttthrrzz- come in, this is Wolverine, priority one, we have a code viridian, repeat –zzzzzsscrrtttzzz- ridian.
Ron stiffens, and looks all around him urgently.
Ron: Copy Reg, where is the big bastard?
Reg: 12 o’clock, approx 6 feet-
Ron: CHRIST!
Ron whirls around, fists raised. He stays like this for a moment… and then realizes that there is no imminent danger, and that everyone is staring. He straightens his collar, and takes another look at the spot directly behind him.
Ron: Come in Wolverine…. repeat- oh sod it. Reg, you dick, are you there?
A pause.
Reg:………Yeah Bruv. You ok?
Ron: Smashing, mate. Where are you?
Reg: Up on the top floor, I can see you through these binoculars what you gave me.
Ron: About those… have another look down here, would you?
Ron waits a second, and then waves. AK follows his gaze, and sees another black clad figure high above.
Reg:……………Oh, it’s a bleedin’ PLANT, innit? Hahahahahahaha… sorry ‘bout that, false alarm.
AK puts her palm against her forehead.
AK: Well I feel deeply reassured by your presence, lads. Seriously, Ron… I appreciate you taking this so seriously, but we need to get your threat recognition sorted out.
Ron: Yeah, I guess.
AK: Listen, I’m with Randy right now, so I’m not exactly vulnerable. Why don’t you two take the rest of the day off, and I’ll see you at the arena tomorrow for the show?
Ron: All right sweetheat, you’re the boss. You’ve got my mobile on speed dial if we’re required.
He speaks into the radio again.
Ron: Stand down Reg, time to regroup. Libby’s bar, I think.
Reg: Nice, I could murder a pint. See you in a sec.
Ron clicks the radio off, and then adjusts his shades.
Ron: A bientot, cherie. That’s French.
Ron makes quite possibly the least incognito exit ever, and AK watches to make sure he really has left. A few seconds later, RDK emerges with their drinks.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:53:53 GMT -5
RDK: Man, I never saw a queue like that in my life!
He sits down; a couple of people eye him, wondering if he’s going to be like the other strange man, but fortunately RDK doesn’t notice.
AK: So… Meltdown tomorrow, and we’ve got the Capitalists. Thoughts?
RDK: I never underestimate anyone, sista, but I think we can take them. Only hitch might be them having the Senator there…
RDK’s expression becomes a little bit frayed.
AK: That’s going to be the biggest challenge – if you let Phillips get under your skin, Kalb and Fitzharris will make us pay for even a small error.
RDK: Sounds just like the sort of thing they like to do… don’t worry, the Macho Man’s a cool customer.
AK: Yes, I know you are. I wish I’d been as cool in our last match…
RDK: Hey, hey, now don’t fret over what’s been and gone, sista. If you win a title, sooner or later you’ll have to let it go. No one’s invincible.
AK: No, I suppose you’re right.
She puts her arm on the table and rests her chin in her upheld hand.
AK: Randy, I need an honest answer from you… what can I do to be in with a chance of actually winning the World Title?
RDK: You got me confused… you have a great chance of winning already-
AK: See, that’s the thing, I’m not sure that I have. I’d be willing to bet major money on the fact that Hunter’s already studying my matches, and if anyone can devise counters to the moves I favor, it’s him. I’m really worried that I’m going to go in there, and find myself up against a brick wall, fresh out of ideas.
RDK: Hmm… I sort of see what you mean.
RDK thinks for a moment.
RDK: I think… if your theory is correct, then you have to stay one step ahead of Hunter.
AK: How do I do that?
RDK: Same way he’s studying you… you should study him. Get his matches since he started using this style, and look at how he counters different moves. He’s a strong guy alright, but in return for power you have to give away something on the flexibility side. I bet if we really looked, we’d see a pattern to how he works. And if we find the pattern, crack the code…
AK:…..I might just be able to counter the counters?
RDK nods.
AK:… You know, it might just work. It’s going to be a gamble… but I’m drawing dead otherwise. Thankyou, Randy… now I have something to work on. You’re a great inspiration.
RDK: Aww, think nothing of it sista.
AK’s cellphone beeps; she checks it.
AK: Looks like our ride’s here. Time to get back to work…
They finish their drinks, pick up their things, and then blend back into the crowds as the scene fades out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:54:58 GMT -5
Match 2: Ballroom Massacre Match Rena vs. Rawt
As the shot returns to the arena after the last segment, there’s a rather unusual addition. The ring has been spread with an opulent carpet, lit chandeliers are standing around the outside, and in a small area to one side of the ring that has been cleared of seating, there is now a small seven piece chamber orchestra in full concert dress, and a conductor. Philip seems to like his new plush surroundings, as he enters the ring.
Philip: Our next contest is a “ballroom massacre” match, set for one fall. Introducing first, from Berlin, Germany… Mr. Rawt “The Crippler” Ross!
Much to the fans’ amusement, the little orchestra starts up with an arrangement of “Another one bites the Dust”, and the man with the greatest facial hair in the universe emerges into the spotlights. Rawt is wearing a beautifully tailored Tuxedo, and Gelale is with him in a simple yet highly elegant dress; they walk to the ring arm in arm, just as if they were indeed entering a grand ballroom. Rawt enters the ring, and instead of his usual taunting, takes a polite bow.
There is a brief pause as the orchestra arranges their sheet music, and then the strike up with “Violet Sauce”. Everyone cranes their neck to catch a glimpse of ACW’s supreme Diva…
Philip: And his pugilistic adversary for this evening, from New York City… Ms Rena Matheson!
There are a few gasps as Rena makes her appearance; she is wearing a flowing and absolutely stunning red ballgown that goes right down to her ankles, and she almost seems to float down to the ring. Philip holds the ropes so that she can maneuver her eveningwear between them, and Rena walks around the ring with a practiced strut. Some of the fans boo, but most are mesmerised by her beauty, and even the referee has to pinch himself before he can recover and signal for the bell.
Instead of the bell, the percussionist strikes a small cymbal. Take your partners…
However refined their attire might be, Rawt and Rena are still here to fight a wrestling match, and they move in toward one another. Rawt starts strongly, delivering a couple of chops, but Rena’s dress provides plenty of padding, and as she backs away, Rawt trips on the trailing fabric. Rena smirks, and goes to stomp her foe, but the dress impedes her just as much, and as Rawt recovers, he is able to grasp the dress and pull Rena down on to the mat. The fabric puffs up, and the dress inverts so that it covers both Rena and Rawt’s upper bodies; The ref can see that someone is being pinned, but has to work out who’s “on top” by reference to their legs. By the time he’s done this, the pair are already separating; Rena, already pissed off with her restrictive costume, rips off a large part of the lower half of the dress so that her legs have some movement. Now things are underway in earnest; Rena dodges Rawt’s next forearm blow and then gives him a slap before going for a DDT. Rawt, however, resists her efforts, and retaliates with a side slam and a clear pin. This gets him a count of 1.5; Rawt gets up, and sends Rena hurtling into the corner before going for a powerful splash, only for Rena to move aside at the last second. Rawt hits the corner hard, and as he staggers back, Rena makes a grab for his bowtie, intending to use it as a legal weapon. However, she’s in for a surprise, as it turns out to be an elasticated “fake”; Rawt smirks, so Rena lets it go, snapping the elastic back against Rawt’s nose. Rawt yells in pain, and Rena take the chance to bring him down with a leg sweep and make a cover, the surprise element of which gets her a two count.
Annoyed, Rawt shoves Rena off of him, and slides out of the ring; he is entitled to use any of the props at ringside as legal weapons, and he heads straight for one of the large metal candelabra. Rena knows this would be to her serious disadvantage; she steps through the ropes, and halts Rawt’s progress with a skillful Headscissors takedown from the apron. They land close to the orchestra “pit”, and Rena snatches a violin from one of the players as she gets up; the crowd, eager for a bit of violence, cheers Rena as she busts the instrument over Rawt’s back. It stalls Rawt, but not for long, so Rena grabs the Viola from the player next in line and uses this in the same manner. Rawt is sent back down, but only for a few seconds, and Rena casts her eyes at the cello… now the fans start getting really loud, as Rena manipulates the heavy instrument, showing off her physical strength by lifting it up. However, Rena has forgotten about Gelale, who grabs a large pair of cymbals and clashes them as close to Rena as she dares; the noise sends Rena off balance, and she drops the cello, giving Rawt just enough time to roll out of the way. He nips up, and hits Rena with his scoop slam; as Rena tries to get up, Rawt spots the bow form the cello, and picks it up with a smile. The audience cheers as Rawt canes Rena smartly once across her rear; Rena leaps up like a scalded cat, and Rawt roars with laughter as he re-enters the ring. With the referee’s count almost expired, Rena has to do the same, but her expression is as black as they come…
Rawt continues to try and break Rena with his pure power, and as he delivers a big boot off of a whip, the fans pop, and shout for a big move. Rawt runs to the ropes, and springs back, going for the Rawt Shot – but Rena dives aside to avoid it, and then grabs something that is leaning up against the side of the ring. Rawt continues to the other ropes, and waits for Rena to start getting up; this time he plots his trajectory more carefully, and there’s no way he can miss… but that’s exactly what Rena intends, as she holds up one of the cymbals discarded by Gelale earlier. Rawt runs straight on to it, with a most impressive crash, and hits the mat hard; Rena rolls him over into the pin, and her dress hides from the referee her feet on the ropes for leverage. The fans boo, but the referee doesn’t pick up on it, and gives the count for the 1,2,3.
Philip: Here is your winner… Rena Matheson!
The Orchestra’s been decimated, so Rena’s normal version of her theme hits; Rena strides around the ring and then struts to the back, leaving Gelale to check on Rawt as the show cuts to a break.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:56:15 GMT -5
Segment: A Welcome Return? (Credit: WeDrag)
The camera cuts to the locker room corridor and follows along, reaching a room with the nameplate ‘Untouchables’. The camera walks in, as the Untouchable members in the room all turn to look, before continuing with what they were doing. Jonny and Tornado are playing a card game in the corner, and Tornado erupts with a large roar, appearing to have won the game, and then grabs his head suddenly and sits back down – he looks to be in a rather rough state. Jake in the meantime is watching TV as he punches a punchbag, obviously preparing for the mammoth task against BK London tonight in the Light-Heavyweight title match. However there is no Mr. Red or it appears that until a toilet flushes and the bathroom door opens, with Red walking out. He jumps onto the sofa and watches TV with Jake. Suddenly, the locker room door swings back open and the ‘Welsh Dragon’ Dan White walks into the room with a grin on his face.
Dan: Hey guys! Guess who made his return!
The stablemates look around and look quite pleased to see Dan back in their locker room, obviously apart from Tornado.
Jake: Hey Dan, I didn’t expect you back so soon!
Jonny: Yeah man. Whatever happened to that ‘Football Hooliganism is my life’ story?
Dan pauses, thinking up his words.
Dan: Well, in a few words, it’s simple. I’m just so damn good, I was able to do the job of 4 months in 1!
Jake shakes his head as Dan smiles, as he points to the two belts Jake holds.
Dan: Jake…the two belts I want most in my career…
Jake looks a little defensive as he turns away from Dan, but Dan puts his hands out to say that there’s nothing to worry about.
Dan: Hey Jake, as long as we’re on level terms, I have nothing to do with these belts. All I’m concentrated on tonight is winning the International title for the first time. But Jake, let me give you a few hints. Although I don’t yet have a win over BK, I can give you this simple advice. It will not be easy beating him, but your normal high-flying style won’t cut it off this time, as he is able to counter anything from pretty much anywhere. You want to stay on the ground. In fact, literally keep BK on the ground, keep him on the floor and you should be able to get the win.
Jake nods his head in approval.
Jake: Hey, thanks man.
Jonny looks a little hesitant, but decides to speak.
Jonny: Hey Dan, me and Jake never really got to thank you on helping us win the tag titles.
Dan: Look, Jonny, and Jake. If anything I should be sorry. You guys put up a really good fight, and I ruined the momentum by interfering, and taking the limelight off what should have been a famous victory, instead turning you into a bunch of cheats.
Jonny and Jake look at each other, and look at Dan. They pause, not knowing who should say what, but Jonny decides to go first.
Jonny: Well Dan…you realize that when you interfered AK was about to win the match, right? So you helped us win the belts.
Jake: Yeah, the stable should be united. I mean after all, it wasn’t feuding with each other that won us the Best Stable of the Year award.
The three have a small laugh to each other, when something inside the head of Dan ticks.
Dan: So on that subject…why attack Davey?
Again Jonny and Jake pause, with Jake this time leading the words.
Jake: He’s changed man. I mean I know change is the norm, but he changed, and pretty badly if you ask me…he’s not the same since rehabilitation. I just thought that they way he came back were really strange…
Dan: So beating him to a near pulp is the right way to go.
Jonny and Jake look at each other again, and look around.
Jake: Look Dan err…I got a match to prepare for, and so do you, so I’d do some stretches or running if I were you, to…y’know, warm up the muscles.
Jake leaves the room and Dan looks at Jonny, who goes to sit down on the sofa. Tornado, who at this point is playing cards with Mr. Red, glares at his former foe, which causes Dan to stop and walk towards him.
Dan: Listen, ‘mate’. I didn’t exactly allow your blessing into this stable, but I have no choice. All I suggest you do is stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.
Tornado: Whatever keeps you from having to interfere in my career, sure.
Dan smirks as he walks past Tornado and goes to his locker, where he opens it up as he starts to prepare for his match later in the night. He hasn’t exactly had the warmest of returns, but knows that he will be able to bring some reconciliation to the group, should he go back to the locker room as the International champion.
Fade Out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:57:34 GMT -5
Segment: Little argument = big trouble (Credit: Latino/Red)
Scene cuts to Mr. Red, who has just arrived at the arena. He is looking over the match card for the show. He nods his agreement to what he sees, slings his duffle bag over his shoulders and heads to the locker room area. When he arrives he sees his opponent sitting on a bench with his head buried in his hands staring at a locker, thinking hard. Red walks up behind his former mentor and throws his bag in from of him, breaking his concentration. Latino snaps up and spins around in anger.
Latino: Como cabrón? What is your fucking problem?
Red: Relax, dude. I just wanted that locker you were eyeballing. My little way of calling dibs on it.
Latino: I already have a locker and it’s in my locker room, chico. I don’t need another.
Red: Why were you staring at it like that then? Trying to open it up with your “Jedi powers”?
Red begins shoving his stuff into the locker.
Latino: ….Mira. I don’t want to talk about it. I already have enough on my mind.
Red: Oh that’s right. You’re a freaking mess these days. Bet you wish you could go back into the old days don’t you.
Latino sits back down on the bench.
Latino: I said I’m not talking about it.
Red: Doesn’t matter to me. That don’t mean that I won’t. I mean look at you, sitting here. Looking all run down. Wife doesn’t want any part of you these days. You have to settle with teaming with old rivals since you can’t beat them. You sucks these days.
Latino snapped back up after hearing enough. Now they were nose to nose staring each other down. A few of the staff snuck into the room incase something would break out.
RIIING: CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT?
A cell phone went off to break the silence. Red looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Madre come up on the phone. Latino reached for it but Red kicked it across the room.
Red: I wasn’t done with you yet.
Latino: And I was just starting with you.
Latino lunged at Red. Both men toppled to the floor of the room and begin swinging at one another as the security raced and pulled them apart. As the guards were holding them apart, Red broke an arm free and slapped Latino across the face. Latino kicked at him but couldn’t connect.
Latino: Alright that’s it. You’re going to regret that pendejo. You and me, that ring, 5 minutes. No excuses.
Red: If you believe that, puedes “chupa mis juevos.” You’re nothing anymore.
Red shrugs the guards off and walks from the room laughing. Latino turns around and punches a locker in frustration, before restraining himself and saving his aggression for their imminent match.
Fade out.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Feb 9, 2006 16:58:37 GMT -5
Segment: The Next Chapter In a Never-Ending Book (Credit: Jake Cheng)
A hallway. Long enough so that, from where is camera is, you can’t see the end on wither side. An infinitely long hallway. Ok, not infinite, but close enough. A really long hallway. A really big empty hallway. Surprisingly empty. Not a person, a piece of stage equipment, anything.
But suddenly there is something. Three somethings. A camera, and two friends. Two friends catching up on old times because they haven’t seen wither other in four months. A lot can happen in four months...
Jake: Damnit, I cannot believe that you forgot how to work a camera in four freaking months!
So much happens. Titles change hands, people leave, and come back, alliances and formed and broken. But one thing stays constant...
Stan: I don’t know! How was I supposed to know Hunter and company weren’t going to kill me? And I don’t need to know how to use a camera if I am dead.
Stan is still an idiot.
Jake: How were you supposed to know that they weren’t going to kill you!!! One, the Capitalists are dumber than dumb and dumber themselves. Two, YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO KILL A PERSON ON TV! Remember that whole storyline we had with learning the FCC rules? That’s rules number two.
Stan: What’s rule number one?
Jake: You aren’t allowed to kill more than one person. Why they don’t combine the rules, I don’t know.
Stan: Oh...
A pause. In case you are new around here, or you just forgot, a pause means that Stan is thinking of something dumb to say.
Stan: Then how come Ridley didn’t get in trouble?
Jake: He did get in trouble. Remember that whole storyline with him and Rose going to Alabama to kill zombies?
Stan: Yeah, I do. Oh....
They both laugh but then Jake jumps with excitement.
Jake: I think I got the camera to work. Ok, ready to do our first segment in months?
Stan: You betcha. Everyone is going to be quite surprised.
The scene is now clear and steady. Jake is sitting a chair opposite Stan.
Jake: Wait, I don’t know what I want to saying.
Stan: You’re facing BK London right? So talk about the history you two have had?
Jake: Umm...we used to be a tag team before his ego caught up to him?
Stan: No, don’t say that.
Jake: What, why not?
Stan: The people don’t like it when you lie. BK has always had an ego. Try talking about your previous matches.
Jake: Ok, that’ll help. BK, I am going to obviously win today because you’ve beaten me in all four matches we’ve had in the past. Damnit Stan, I don’t have a chance to retain my title today, do I? He’s probably a half-foot taller than me, and forty pounds heavier.
Jake leans back in his chair, sulking. But then something happens; something that has never happened before, or probably just not on camera. Stan got an idea.
Stan: Jake, how much do you weigh?
Jake: Last time I was weigh, I was 192 pounds.
Stan: And what’s the limit?
Jake: 230.
Jake sees it and opens his eyes real wide. He stands up.
Jake: Oh my fucking god. Stan, you rule. Sure, he may exceed it by 2 pounds, but he still exceeds it. I gotta go find Ginger. Wait, which way is Ginger’s office? I don’t recognize this hallway. I don’t remember walking here.
Stan: It’s because you didn’t walk here. This hallway isn’t even in the ACW arena. It is in a place even more complex.
Jake: But where...
Stan: THINK FAST!
And with that, the camera is thrown up into the air. Stan lunges forward, leading with his left foot. Hopefully you know what is going to happen next, but since most of you use my segments for piss breaks, I’ll tell you what happens next. A kick to the balls.
But then the unexpected happens. Jake doesn’t fall to the ground crying or admit that he is wearing a cup. He vanishes. He just disintegrates; disappears into the thin air.
The camera, which seemed to float in the air during the “fight” came back down, nice and slowly right into Stan’s hands. He puts on an evil-looking grin and stares directly into the camera and into the eyes of everyone who watching him.
Stan: Sweet dreams.
Then it all instantaneously turns to black. Darkness. Empty void. Whatever you want to call it, it signifies two things. The beginning of a new chapter and the end of this segment.
Fade. Well technically not a fade, since it is already dark. I just don’t know how else to end my segments.
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