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Post by Kim Jong CP on Apr 19, 2010 22:28:39 GMT -5
Segment: Moping (Credit: Freeman)
Trace is sulking outside the arena, after the recent occurrences inside of it.
Trace: Stupid Greg…stupid RAF…everyone always holding me down, it’s all their faults…
He hangs his head down in anger, feeling that all the world is against him.
Trace: Well, I’ll show them, I’ll just drive home and they’ll never ever see me again for the whole rest of the…night…
He thinks.
Trace: Yeah that’ll show them, not that THEY’LL care.
He mopes some more till Greg comes up.
Greg: Hey…
Trace: Oh, you come to apologize?
Greg: No, actually, I just---
Trace: WELL…er…I ACCEPT, but only cause your crying is just embarrassing me, man! You don’t have to beg it’s okay, I totally accept!
Greg: Er…sure. Thanks? Anyways, I didn’t come here for that I actually came to tell you that you probably shouldn’t leave tonight because you---
Trace: I know…I know…cause without me you’d feel bored, and have no purpose? Right? Well, ya know, if that’s the way you feel then I guess I can---
Greg: No, because you have a match tonight.
Trace: …oh…
Greg sighs.
Greg: Alright, Trace, get up, you’ve got a big match tonight.
Trace: Big match?
Greg: Yeah you’re in the main event…
Trace: !!!!
Greg: Yeah
Trace: YEEEEEEEEEAH!
He jumps up
Trace: AWESOME! I knew I’d be in the main event again, my fans were calling for it! ^___^
Greg:[/b] Yeah, sure
Trace: And I haven’t seen that Thiago guy in weeks! I knew I got rid of him with this match! It was genius right?
Greg: Yeah, sure, whatever, and your match tonight is especially important because if you win you get the number 20 spot in the battle royal.
Trace: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greg: Yeah, so just get up and stop moping.
Trace: THAT’S AWESOME! That means I only have to go through ten guys to win!
Greg: Er…no…it’s only twenty men this year, you’d be last.
Trace: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greg: Yeah…so as you can see, it’s kinda important that you stay here tonight.
Trace: THIS IS GREAT GREG! THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW IM THE ONE WHO’S GONNA WIN THIS THING! ONLY THE REAL BIG GUYS GET THE FINAL SPOT! THEY SAW ME TRAINING AND THEY KNEW! THIS IS AWESOME!
Greg: Yeah, sure, but there are going to be three other guys in there as well.
Trace: Yeah, well, who cares about them! Hey ya think I should try praying?
Greg: What? You don’t practice a religion
Trace: Yeah but if that God guy could help me out, then I guess I should be nice to him right?
Greg: I believe this is probably going to verge on blasphemy if I let it carry on any further.
Trace: Aw, but it worked for that Moses guy, he parted a whole sea, ya know?
Greg: I guess, but aren’t you big tough Trace Birmingham? You don’t need any help, right?
Trace: Yeah…but…I still kinda wanna try, ya know? What’s it called where you don’t have a religion or believe in God?
Greg: Atheism?
Trace: Yeah…that…where’s the Atheism Church so I can pray there?
Greg: …
Trace: I guess they probably don’t have one here, huh?
Greg: Nope, not in this city unfortunately. You’ll have to try somewhere else.
Trace: Hmm…okay! I’ll do that. Thanks Greg, you’ve been a real help even if you are a cheater and give really horrible training ideas, but if you wanna come down to that ring today just to make sure everything goes well or something, I won’t mind!
Greg: Sure…
Trace: Cool! Let’s go then! IT’S TIME TO WIN THE MAIN EVENT! Ha! YEAH!!!!!
And Trace runs back into the building, considerably happier than he was when he left it.
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Post by Kim Jong CP on Apr 19, 2010 22:30:19 GMT -5
Segment: An Announcement (Credit: Freeman)
The fans in the ACW arena are getting a bit restless. It’s not that they are bored, or that they are tired, or that they want to get the show over with. It’s just an excitement starting to fill the air, as they feel the main event quickly approaching. The crowd knows that this match will signify the end of the show, and for some of the fans who do not attend live shows very often, this is quite depressing for them. But they also know they are about to get a great match and at the end of tonight they are going to know EXACTLY who will be the twentieth man to enter the Fallen Heroes battle royal. This of course, will give that person an extremely high shot at winning the whole thing, and so many are waiting for tonight’s main event with great interest.
Of course, they will have to wait a little bit longer before they get what they have been anticipating, for instead of Phillip taking the microphone, the Alphatron springs to life, and the fans look up to see what event is transpiring now. It is nothing particularly interesting however. Just a man.
The camera has zoomed in on Jason Freeman, who stands not with an interviewer, but by himself. He is in a hallway of some sorts – and a dim one at that. He stands up straight, poised with a certain dignity. The crowd breaks up into boos, although recently Jason Freeman had really had very much action. It seemed mostly that he was just slinking around backstage. Tonight, however, he is doing something he has not willingly done since returning without being forced. He is ready to address the fans. And the change in him is instantly obvious. The look in his eyes that had made both ACW interviewers quite nervous as he approached is gone, and replaced with a very disarming calmness. Externally he seems to be a picture of calmness and stability.
Freeman: Good evening. Tonight, I have requested this time so that I can make a very important statement. As you no doubt have noticed I have been away from the ring due to injuries I sustained months ago. Well, I would like to say that as of today I am very nearly healed. What that means, for those of you who are incapable of making the connection by yourselves, is that before long Jason Freeman will make his return to the ACW ring.
The way Freeman carries himself tonight is rather strange. Perhaps what makes it so strange is that it…isn’t all that strange at all? For a man that has been so crazy, and so maniacal – almost psychotic – in the past, he seems very calm and collected. Formal, even. It is hard to view him as the same man who came in a little over a month ago and attacked the Senator with a pipe.
But perhaps it is his calmness, and seeming stability that is so jarring and almost unsettling. Perhaps it is the fact that listening to his overly prepared statement, you can’t help feeling that the way he is presenting himself now is all a front. A disguise. Not one meant to fool anybody, but just put up almost as a joke. That behind that dignified stance, and that calm voice, is the true Jason Freeman. Hidden just beneath the skin and ready to jump out at any second.
Certainly it must be so. Because there is no doubt in anybody’s mind that Jason Freeman is a different man than he was before his absence. There’s that constant feeling that if one was having this conversation with him in person, they could turn away from him for a second, look at his reflection in the mirror, and see a much different man looking back.
Freeman: Now while it would be extremely hard to predict exactly when I shall reach that one hundred percent threshold, I believe that I can make a good enough estimate. As a result, as of this moment, I am officially entering my name as a participant in the 2010 Fallen Heroes battle royal, and on that day, I shall make my return to the ring. And when I do, I will enter that ring, I will take out whoever possibly dares to attempt to stand in my way, and I shall then go on to Omega Effect to win the world championship. Now of course there are those that will oppose me, and all I have to say to that is…may the best man win.
And that last statement is dripping with sarcasm. His eyes light up as he says it as if it’s all a joke. And in a way this IS all a joke to him. This prepared statement, this formal way of announcing he’d be in the match. The truth is there was no need of an announcement, because he didn’t have to state it. What else could anybody expect?
Jason Freeman had previously stated he was not targeting the world champion, and instead would make sure Dave Shadow was never going to get near a championship again, but if he was to win this match then it goes to follow that Dave would lose. He would then achieve his goal and perhaps then he would set his sights on winning the championship…but…was that really all? Likely not…Either way it was highly doubtful that a man like Jason Freeman would let this match pass by – let an opportunity for a world title shot pass by – without entering his name.
The question was how prepared WAS Freeman for this? Was it possible he would attempt to win on his own skill alone? Freeman is a confident man, that is for sure, and no doubt he would believe in his ability to win the match. In fact, there probably isn’t one superstar in that match that doesn’t go in expecting to win. There simply is no other way to go about it. But a man like Freeman is also smart, and a man like Freeman is sly, and a man like Freeman knows that it takes one second…one short, bitter mistake and it’s all over. See you next year. And a man like Freeman does not take these chances, because a man like Freeman does not want to be wait any longer, he wants to win now. A man like Freeman has insurance policies.
Freeman: Now no doubt Dave Shadow and I shall…meet…in that match once more. And so I look forward to our encounter, and I hope Dave feels the same way that I do. You see, I know what Dave is thinking because it’s the same thing that every person in this match is thinking. I’ve been there. You feel as you walk towards that ring that tonight is your night. For some reason, on this night, the stars are aligned in your favor and you can do no wrong. You are invincible on this night. And then all but one of these men are tossed to the ground, and suddenly they realize that this night was no different than any other. Just one more failure. You see, for all those feeling that certainty – feeling that for some reason they are invincible on this night – I want them to realize that because there can only be one winner, they should dash those hopes from their brains. What makes me different than any of these men is that I am smarter than them. I am the smartest man in this match, and I assume there is no point in hiding anything. I will have a plan. And it will not be thwarted. So do all you can, but know that at the end of the day, I simply cannot be beat.
Freeman has said more tonight then he has said since his return, and in fact it is a bit of a standard Freeman interview. Nothing unusual really, and nothing the fans haven’t heard many times before. But once again, something is different. It’s a self-confidence that is so strong you can’t help but believe him. It’s the fact that he isn’t predicting, he isn’t saying what he thinks is going to happen…as you listen you get a sense that he is saying what he KNOWS is going to happen.
Is this once again a trick of his eyes? His confident, hypnotic eyes? Could it be that when the Alphatron flicked off, the ACW fans would laugh nervously, realizing how ridiculous the whole thing was. That Freeman couldn’t possibly KNOW he was going to win. That Freeman couldn’t possibly have a plan solid and ingenious enough to be infallible. But in that moment, every single audience member knows they had truly believed in their hearts that he did. And they don’t like the feeling.
Freeman: Now, on that note, I shall allow the show to proceed. And good luck to all the participants in this match. As for the eventual winner? He should know that my eyes are on him.
And just like that the tron flicks off into an ominous silence, Freeman’s short appearance this night over and done with.
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Post by Kim Jong CP on Apr 19, 2010 22:30:58 GMT -5
Match: Theodore Wellington vs. Trace Birmingham vs. Buddy Ghee vs. Adrian Baird Credit: Theodore Wellington & Buddy Ghee Philip: The following match is scheduled for ONE fall with the winner getting the number TWENTY spot at Fallen Heroes!!The fans give a nice applause for what’s on the line in this match. Edison: It’s time everyone! There is no doubt about, this is the biggest match of the night!McNally: Well whichever one of these four men come out the victor tonight will automatically be the favorite to win Fallen Heroes.Edison: That’s right, the always coveted number twenty spot is on the line and anyone of these four men could walk out the winner with that spot!Philip: Introducing first, already in the ring….Trace Birmingham!Trace does a wave to the crowd while he waits for his three opponents. Phillip: Introducing next…hailing from Glasgow… Adrian Baird!The hard hitting riffs of “TV Crimes” by Black Sabbath hit the sound system signalling to the fans the arrival of one “Adrian Baird”. The crowd’s voice elevated into a frenzy of jeering as they heckled the Angriest Man in Scotland stepping out from the curtain.One day in the life of the lonely. Another day on the roundabout. What do they need? Somebody to live.
One day in the life of the lonely. There’s a miracle on the screen. What did they see? Somebody to love.
He guarantees you instant glory. Get your money on the line. Adrian with that permanent snarl on his face walked down the entrance ramp completely ignoring the audience as he stared directly at the cameras, his theme song blasting out of the sound system. He climbs into the ring and stares at Trace as the ref pats him down and they wait for the other two.Philip: Next up..From New York City…Buddy GheeeeeShining Star - Earth Wind comes on the speaker and Buddy Ghee is out. He doesn’t waste any time however as he runs down to the ring and slides under the rope. He jumps up and immediately clotheslines Birmingham and turns and delivers some stiff shots to Baird. Birmingham is back up and goes to return the favor but Buddy ducks and Trace plants Adrian on the mat. Ghee bounces off the ropes and hits a bulldog that smashes Birmingham’s face against the mat. Edison: Buddy Ghee not wasting anytime!McNally: Can you blame him? It’s a great strategy, catch everyone off guard and get the early lead!Philip has left the ring so without any announcement the lights darken and “My Time” comes on the speakers. The spotlight goes onto the ramp as smoke fills the base. Buddy Ghee stands facing the ramp ready to go. However, when the floor rises, Theodore Wellington isn’t on it..rather Emma Young pops up. Buddy is confused and before he has time to figure it out Theodore Wellington runs from the crowd and slide in behind Buddy. As soon as he turns around Theodore connects with fists to the face and then throws him off the rope. When he bounces back Theodore connects with a hip toss that sends Buddy to the mat. Theodore quickly plants a leg drop to his neck and hops up to the dismay of the crowd. McNally: Buddy’s strategy was good…but Theodore’s was better!As he rises up Baird is now up and he lands some stiff chops to the chest of Wellington. He kicks him in the gut and connects with a quick DDT. As he does..Buddy Ghee and Trace battle on the other side of the ring. Trace is throwing punches left and right make Ghee stumble back. He winds up to hit a hard right hand but Ghee grabs his arm and spins Trace around before grabbing him and landing a German Suplex that sends Trace rolling out of the ring. We go back to Baird and he is in complete control of Wellington..stomping him on the ground. He picks up Theodore and hits a European Uppercut that sends him flying into the turnbuckle. He runs quickly behind him and smashes Theodore’s face into the turnbuckle. When he bounces off Baird connects with a head butt that sends Theodore over the top rope.
Now with just Ghee and himself left in the ring, Baird turns and looks to attack Ghee. However as soon as he turns, Ghee comes off the top rope and hits a diving neck breaker. As quickly as possible Buddy rolls over and goes for the pin.1..
2..
No! Baird kicks out quickly but Ghee isn’t done yet. He jumps and does a little funky dance move before shocking the crowd by connecting with a standing moonsault. He goes for the pin again.1..
Tw.. Edison: Two quick pin attempts here and these men are not messing around!McNally: They know what’s on the line and they are going to do anything they can to squeeze this one out.Theodore grabs Buddy’s legs and pulls him outside the ring thus breaking up the count. Theodore goes to attack Buddy but he counters and smashes his head against the side of the ring before rolling him in. As Theodore gets up Trace is back out of nowhere and he plants Theodore on top of Baird with a spine buster. He goes for the pin on BOTH..1.. Buddy Ghee runs in and hits Trace with a scissor kick. He goes for the TRIPLE pin..ON.. Emma Young is up on the ropes and the ref goes to tell her to get down. They go back and forth for a minute before Emma smiles and gets down. Buddy Ghee and Theodore are up and leaning on the ropes across the ring from each other as Trace and Baird climb to their feet. As soon as the men in the middle are up, Theodore and Buddy both run at them, Buddy hits a dropkick to the face of Baird as Theodore connects with a hard boot to the face of Trace. They pick the two men up and chuck them from the ring before turning their attention to each other. Edison: That woman scares me…ESPECIALLY when she smile..you have to wonder what she just said to the ref.McNally: Stop worrying about her and focus on the match! Buddy Ghee and Theodore Wellington have cleared the ring and it’s just the two of them as of now!They run at each other and start alternating right hands back and forth until Theodore gets some momentum and push Ghee back with his punches. He sends Ghee to one knee after hitting his left leg with drop kick. With Ghee down Theodore runs off the ropes and connects with a knee to the face. He stands up with a cocky smile and puts his foot on Ghee’s chest..1..
2..
NO! Ghee kicks out as Theodore grabs the ref and says something before pushing him away. Trace runs in from outside but Theodore is ready and he ducks under Trace and hits him with the Bounced Check(backstabber)! Instead of going for the pin he goes to Traces legs and locks on The Buy Out!! He rips and pulls on Traces legs as he screams in pain but the fans cheer for him not to tap out. Just as he is about to Ghee comes and breaks it up!Theodore gets up and goes to attack Ghee but before he can Ghee connects with a kick to his side. He switches back and forth between left and right kicks before ultimately jumping and hitting Theodore with a hurricarrana! Trace runs in and tries to steal the pin but before the ref can even count Ghee breaks it up. Baird runs in and hits his Old Firm Fallout finisher on Ghee! He goes for the cover..1..
2..
THR…NO! Trace rips Baird off and throws him into the turnbuckle. Edison: Baird hit his finisher but couldn’t capitalize!McNally: With four men in the ring its gonna take more than that to win…you have to get EVERYONE out of the way. He goes to the opposite turnbuckle and then runs and hits a drop kick to the face of Baird. He now goes for the cover.1..
TW…
NO! It’s Theodore’s turn as he pulls Trace off Baird and hits ANOTHER Bounced Check on Trace! Theodore is trying to go for the cover but he used most of his energy on the Bounced Check. Before he can crawl over to make the cover Baird is up on his feet. He is kind of dazed and looking around when Buddy Ghee flies off the top rope and hits a devastating Shining Star on Baird! He goes for the pin..1..
2..
NOOOOO Theodore Wellington just gets his arm over to break it up!Edison: My God! Finishers all over the place! What is it going to take for someone to win this match!Ghee is not happy as he jumps up and picks up Theodore. He hits him with a hard Pendulum Back Breaker and sets him up on the mat. He climbs the ropes and hits a hard Moonsault on Wellington. He takes a minute and grabs him midsection, obviously feeling the effects of the move. He recovers and goes for the pin.1..
2.. …. The ref rolls out of the ring and grabs his wrist like its hurt. Ghee just lays there not knowing what is going on as the ref holds his wrist but he never finished the count. He stands there just holding his wrist for several moments while Ghee stands up and stares at him with confusion. He leans over the ropes and starts yelling at the rest who is now leaning over the security rail really playing this one out.Edison: What is going on? What is the referee doing?!?McNally: It looks like he hurt himself…Edison: But he doesn’t finish the count? Something smells fishy here…Ghee stands there yelling, while Theodore crawls up to his feet in pain as he looks at the situation. He runs up behind Buddy and plants him with a Bounced Check that nearly snaps Buddy in too! He goes to the side and calls for the ref who slides into the ring. 1.2.3! Edison: NO WAY! WHAT IS GOING ON?? SUCH A QUICK RECOVERY FOR THE QUICK THREE COUNT FROM THE REFEREE!McNally: I SEE IT NOW! Don’t you see the genius of Theodore Wellington!! Take no chance, always have control! Edison: What are you babbling about?McNally: Isn’t it clear?? Theodore and Emma must have used their power to pay off the referee! That’s what why they kept yelling at him! For not doing his job sooner!Edison: You have to be kidding me! So ACW and its fans were robbed of an ACTUAL ending?Theodore Wellington rolls out the ring to the floor as Emma runs over to congratulate him! The ref goes out and raises his hand as Theodore Wellington has a cocky smile across his face. The fans are trying to comprehend what just happened as Theodore gets to his feet and grabs his M.L.A.A trophy and him and Emma and the ref go to leave. They get half way up the ramp when..
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Post by Kim Jong CP on Apr 19, 2010 22:31:21 GMT -5
Segment: Stealing the Spotlight Credit: Theodore Wellington & CP ??: HOLD UP! EVERYONE STOP! Theodore Wellington stops and turns toward the entrance as a voice echoes throughout the arena. All the fans in attendance that are still trying to figure out what just happened now turn to the entrance ramp to find the source of the voice. As everyone gathers their thoughts, Chairman Hawthorne appears on the ramp. He has a mic in his hand and he is looking very angry.Hawthorne: Did you think I was gonna let this fly? Did you think you can STEAL my main event and get away with it? Theodore is now handed a mic and he takes it as he smiles.Theodore Wellington: I assure you, Hawthorne I have NO idea what you’re talking about it… Hawthorne: I’m talking about this! He points to the Alphatron and the replay what just happened.Hawthorne: That was the quickest recovery and 3 count I have ever seen. So how much did you pay the ref? How much did it cost you to secure the number twenty spot? I am ordering for this match to be continued WITH OUT you and officially suspending you from ACW! The fans cheer at the thought of no more listening to Wellington and getting a real ending to this match. Their joy is short lived though as before the match can restart Theodore holds up his hands.Theodore Wellington: Before you go through with this Hawthorne, do you have any proof of your accusation? Do you have even a shred of evidence that could hold up in court? I didn’t think so. Therefore, if you go through with this I will sue you for everything your worth…which isn’t much…but still, you will be taking tips from Danny Mainer on stealing money from homeless people. Hawthorn looks pissed as Theodore Wellington has an annoying way of stopping everything he tries to do. As he listens though he realizes that Wellington has a point, and there is nothing he can do about this betrayal as of now. Hawthorne: Ok, Wellington..you may have won today, but I will be watching you, and here in ACW..you will not be buying any championship. From this point on I will do everything in my power to make sure you EARN any title you may win. I wil… Theodore Wellington: See that’s what you don’t understand, Hawthorne. I don’t NEED to buy anything here in ACW, especially now that I have the number 20 spot. Next week, in the cage match with Criminal, I will win the Entertainment Title, then I will stroll into Fallen Heroes and walk out guaranteed MY title shot, and finally, I will go to Omega Effect and I will dominate Chris Phenomenal and go home with the ACW World Championship. You know who can stop me? NO ONE! Look on the bright side though Hawthorne, pretty soon your company will be represented but a TRUE athlete. Chris Phenomenal is a filler champion, just waiting for someone actually deserving of the title to come in and take it from him. Someone to expose him for the half assed performer he actually is. Someo… Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is HOV! For once the crowd is actually happy to hear the ACW Champions music as I means they will no longer have to listen to Wellington and maybe, just maybe someone will put him in his place once and for all.Chris Phenomenal: Who in the blue hell are you.
Theodore Wellington: I’m disappointed in you Chris. You don’t even know the name of your soon to be number one contender? I am Theodore Wellington, I am 5-0 here in ACW, I am entering Fallen Heroes at number 20, and I am going to take that title from you and become the World Champion. [/color] Chris Phenomenal: Wow! 5-0 here in ACW, I may as well give you my title right now. I mean, who have you defeated. Think. Think. Think.Chris Phenomenal: Thinking about it though, you’ve beaten no one. No one to make me believe that you, despite number twenty in your favor will have ANY chance of making it out alive. Especially, not past me. [/color][/center] Theodore Wellington: It doesn’t matter what you say because I am number 20 and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. Chris Phenomenal: It doesn’t matter what I say Theodore? This isn’t some boardroom. I’m not some Judas selling out for you money. I’m the champion, I’m the leader of this pack and if you step out of line I’ll make sure to knock you back in, or out completely. Theodore Wellington: I… Chris Phenomenal: I nothing. Now, we can finish this the easy way, or the hard way. Theodore backs down slightly, smartly living to fight another day with the stars seeming aligned for him. The champion’s music starts to play as Theodore and Phenomenal drop their mics. Theodore motions around his waist in the shape of a championship belt signaling he is going take the belt. Chris just stares down Theodore as his music keeps playing. The two men just stand and stare each other down as the show fades off air.
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TWMoney
Senatorial Stable
Posts: 457
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Post by TWMoney on Apr 20, 2010 10:10:50 GMT -5
Good show everyone! A couple shout outs... One for Ryan Cole, new guy looked good! Another for Ghee, I was impressed with his improvement thi week. Segment was solid and had substance. Good to see xs3 here and I'm excited for the Mainer v CP title match!
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Jason Freeman
Competition Judge
Long Island Iced Free
Posts: 3,271
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Post by Jason Freeman on Apr 20, 2010 23:34:21 GMT -5
Feedback will be later this week but I don't know when. Possibly tomorrow night.
But wait, CP enters himself into FH? And so if he wins he ruins the whole point of the match and nobody gets a title shot? <_<
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VorteX
Experienced Member
Stay a while...and listen.
Posts: 723
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Post by VorteX on Apr 20, 2010 23:53:23 GMT -5
Random VorteX feedback (I only did page one, so there are one or two segments missing from this)!
Fallen Heroes
A little lost on this one since I haven't been keeping up, but I will say it is interesting to say the least. I doubt Hawthorne would actually let CP be in the match though since if he won it would defeat the purpose of the Battle Royale.
King of Opportunity
I think I know how this one is going to end >_>. Anyway, I really liked this segment and the conversation between the two men was actually believable...so way to go.
I've used the basics....
Wow, I felt like this segment was on speed (maybe that's all of Freeman's recent work, I'm not sure). Anyway, it was decently entertaining...I just hope heads up 7-up is next!
Ryan's Segment
Needs more description of what is going on. For all we know Ryan could be on the moon broadcasting this...anyway I think it is a decent start. I like the self-depriciation at the end, and am interested to see where this character goes.
Crucify Your Beliefs
This one was a bit short. It was to the point, and that's about it really...
A Sit Down With The Soul
A decent explanation of what is going on with the TJ / Criminal and TJ / CP feuds. I still have no idea how that match worked with Criminal, however it gets people talking about the ET title and that's all that matters really.
Through the Veil of Pale Moonlight
I'm not really sure what to make of this, but I think that's the goal. I'm just wondering if Scorpion will kill himself before he has a chance to complete his 'mission'...or maybe that will be the completion, the ultimite sacrifice in his mind. Anyway, maybe an abduction storyline is coming? Maybe Scorpion will blow some crap up in the name of all that is holy? In any case, it will be a fun read (oh and good writing by the way...although that's pretty obvious from just reading the detail that goes into it).
Buddy Ghee
Buddy reminds me a lot of Shaft. As I said, I haven't really been following a lot of what has been going on, so maybe that is the goal. If it is, keep it up. If it isn't...well whatever you are doing is a good read, so keep it up anyway.
The Future Is Now
Confused as to what is going on here. It's a bit odd that Theodore would remark about the others in the match being no-names when he isn't one yet either...but I guess that plays into the ego thing so it works. The confusing part is Locke's apperance and the 'match' at the end. I took Locke's appearance as a way to get Theodore over, and that works I guess, but the 'match' just didn't fit. I get the cheap heel heat aspect of it, but it really seemed a bit rushed.
Second page...
Moping
Trace reminds me a lot of Gary. Other than the awkward sentences consisting of nothing but exclamation marks the segment is carried out well. I will admit I laughed at the whole 'Atheism Church' line...good stuff.
An Announcement
So this is the serious Freeman. It would be kind of amusing to see Freeman elimanate Trace should he happen to win the number 20 spot...but I like the confidence nontheless. Pretty good writing here in contrast with the quick pacing of the Trace segments...although I think both characters combined really form a complete Freeman.
Stealing the Spotlight
I'm half and half with this one. I liked the controversial finish, however I didn't like how Hawthorne backed down from obvious evidence that Wellington cheated (if anything the video alone is enough proof of foul play). Anyway, the interaction with CP was good and it will be interesting to see what further interaction occurs between these two.
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Jason Freeman
Competition Judge
Long Island Iced Free
Posts: 3,271
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Post by Jason Freeman on Apr 21, 2010 19:20:38 GMT -5
Nice to see you doing feedback Tex! Great to have someone else doing it and its much appreciated. This is especially good because I will not be able to do mine until sunday night or even Monday. Im visiting johns hopkins tonight and tomorrow and dont have internet (this is being posted from my cell but its internet sucks). then friday through sunday im on the senior trip with my school.
So feedback will come then. And yes tex all my Trace segments are like that though my freeman segments arent...I sent in a freeman segment monday night but I cant really check with this phone whether its on the show yet as it takes forever to load things. also the first trace segment for some reason repeated itself halfway down...>_>
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Jason Freeman
Competition Judge
Long Island Iced Free
Posts: 3,271
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Post by Jason Freeman on Apr 26, 2010 19:42:15 GMT -5
What’s the best thing to do before Warfare comes on? Read some very late…Freeman Feedback Im tired, as I have had no sleep these past few days, so I hope this is alright <_< Fallen Heroes (CP) – Well, the promo itself was alright, though CP went from saying there will be a winner who will not have been champion before (I think that’s what he said) before saying he was going to win…? I dunno, I don’t know where CP is going with putting himself in the battle royal, and my reaction to it depends on where it goes. If CP does actually try to win the match and then face some unrelated challenger at Omega Effect I would think that made no sense. Somebody, I think Jay Zero, was planning on defending their world title in the Fallen Heroes battle royal and that made sense to me, because the match was then basically a title match in itself, but then if CP wins nobody who’s entered in the battle royal gets a shot? I don’t know, the storyline however is good in itself, and while there is a possibility it will go in a direction I will despise I will not judge it too soon and say that it is at the least an interesting premise, and could be good depending on what is done with it. King of Opportunity (Danny Mainer) – Not a bad idea, and it’s kind of interesting to have Mainer and CP both entering the battle royal I suppose, I just didn’t like the portrayal of Gary. I mean it was very over the top and as far as I know Gary isn’t a retard <_<. But whatever, I guess it doesn’t matter that much. I just feel like when you use universal characters you should be careful with the portrayal as everybody has to use those same characters and it really belongs to the fed more than yourself, you can’t take too much freedom with them. Some unnamed segment by that new guy (Ryan Cole) – Im assuming CP wrote the first line and Im not sure what he means by “eclectic Trace Birmingham” but whatever. Anyways to the actual segment. Makings of some good stuff in here. I think some work can be done in making sentences a bit less awkward at times, and Im not exactly one to talk, I’ll admit. For example…when he said the fans may think but why? I personally would have put quotes around the “but why?” and perhaps there could have been a couple more commas at times. But the character seems good, and I could see some good stuff coming from you. Crucify your Beliefs (XS3) - Solid segment but nothing really to talk about. As I said, solid. A Sit Down With the Soul (TJ) – I really like TJ and I liked this, but it’s kind of weak since Criminal has had no presence on the show recently, and I believe he posted a message explaining that but it still does not change the fact that it’s hard to get into this feud knowing TJ is talking to somebody who isn’t responding. But I did like TJ’s promo. I liked his words about CP, and I liked his blaming the loss on the steel chair and giving no credit to Criminal (saying he wants the steel chair next week). That was good. I think this feud would be better if it was with a more active participant of the roster, but TJ’s half is very good. Still, it remains a half, that’s the thing. Through the Veils of Pale Moonlight (Scorpion) – Hey a segment title! Man Scorpion is phenomenal and there is no way to not notice that. How the heck do you think of all that stuff you write weekly? I can’t imagine coming up with that stuff week by week. Scorpion’s character is legit creepy and it’s amazing. I loved him slashing open his arm, and I love all the similar things that Scorpion does through these segments. As I said given the right opponent there is so much Scorpion can do. Just great. Still no segment titles from Buddy Ghee (Buddy Ghee) – Liked this one a lot! The other Ghee segments felt short, but this one, while not exactly long, was longer than his previous works and really felt good. I could see Ghee as Entertainment Champ, and I’d be interested to see him interacting more with some other superstars. He should try to get some segment together with Criminal or TJ or Wellington or something, just to get his character interacting. But yes, this was a good segment, and I felt it was an improvement. Can’t wait to see Ghee further develop. The Future is Now (Wellington) – And again with the burying his previous characters…XD. But in any case I like Wellington, and I think he also has a good shot in the ET division. The Entertainment division is looking pretty good right now, though as I said, Criminal really shouldn’t be champ right now because of his inactivity, nothing personal, and no blame on him, it just shouldn’t be. But I could see Wellington as a good champ down the line. The Locke thing was a bit more awkward than the Wayde one, I agree with VorteX in that it was a bit strange, but it worked well enough, I suppose. Stealing the Spotlight (CP/Wellington) – I liked this because Wellington is really getting to do a lot as a heel, and it was nice to see him interact with CP, the world champ. I think Wellington gained a fair bit of momentum this show. Anyways, Fallen Heroes is approaching. This show was alright, but I will be interested to see how things come together tonight on the new Warfare and seeing how some feuds finish going into Omega Effect, especially the CP and Mainer one, which IMO has lost a bunch of heat from its beginnings, as they have not really done much in two weeks. Hopefully that changes this week.
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