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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:12:55 GMT -5
Backstage, Dave runs down the stairs from the entrance curtain, and starts to make his way back to where he left Alicia at top speed. As he turns a corner, he sees her sitting on a box, a medical doctor trying to look at her to make sure she’s ok. Alicia tries to wave the doctor away.
Alicia: I told you I’m fine. Nothing a little rest won’t heal up.
The doc reluctantly leaves her and walks of, as Alicia notices Dave approaching. Dave hops up on the box beside her, and the two lean forward in exhaustion.
Dave: I’m tellin ya, time travel is exhausting work.
Alicia: You took care of Chris?
Dave: For now. But you know him. He’ll be back. He always comes back. But there’s still some stuff I don’t understand.
Alicia: Like?
Dave: Well, the Tardis in the storeroom we took back...
Alicia: Yeah. Chris took the Tardis from our time. He took it back and left it in the store room. We found it months later and took it back again, leaving it in the car park. That’s the one we used to get back here then, thus leaving the one he took back in the storeroom, ready for future use.
Dave: God, time travel hurts my head.
Alicia: Yeap.
Dave: But the letter you found, explaining things....
Alicia: It must have fallen out of my pocket when Chris pushed me in my office. I found it then after we had already left.
Dave: But it was in my handwriting?
? ? ?: I think I can explain that.
Alicia and Dave spin round to find a small man standing in front of them, brown, spiky hair, long brown coat and a grin on his face. The Doctor has been listening to them this whole time.
Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly.... timey-wimey.... stuff.
Dave: That ran away a bit, didn’t it?
Doctor: A little, yeah. Anyway, my guess is that you originally wrote the letter but then it ended up getting stuck in some type of paradox, whereby Alicia here just continually drops it at that specific point. No guarantee that everything happens the same way every time.
Alicia: Wibbly-wobbly...
Dave: Timey-wimey....
Doctor: Yeah, best not to think about it that hard. What I find is that there’ll be entirely new rules of time and space next week, so don’t let it get you down. Now, has anyone seen my Tardis?
Alicia and Dave laugh as the man walks off. The two are just glad that they managed to stop Chris changing the past and doing any irreparable damage to ACW. And so ACW Island lives in on happiness for another little while, safe once more from the evils of Chris Phenomenal.
THE END
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:13:26 GMT -5
Segment: It Was All A Dream... (Credit: BK London) Eddie Edison: Ladies and Gentlemen we've reached the final match in this Tag Team Tournament which puts the newcomers BK London and Jake Cheng versus the veterans, Victor "Latino" Laureano and his wife, the gym leader of Kitsune City - Alicia "Atomic" Laureano! This is sure to be one for the ages, bank on that! Phillip: This will be a 2 on 2 battle with no time limit – and the match will only end when both Pokemon on the same team is unable to battle! Let the battle begin! BK London: Ready for this partner? Jake Cheng: Oh yeah! Luxray - Stand by for battle! BK London: Monferno - you do the same! Throwing their pokeballs simultaneously, both Luxray and Monferno - two of the longest members of both London and Cheng's team - are released, and they're ready to battle.Latino: I'm ready to win, what about you? Alicia: Losing isn't an option at this point. Go, Lucario! Latino: Get out there Ludicolo! Two complete opposites on the Pokemon spectrum with Lucario being the more serious warrior type, and Ludicolo being the fun loving carefree type.BK London: I say we rush them from out the gate. Jake Cheng: You're reading my mind! Alicia: Let's catch them off guard, ok? Latino: Got it! BK London: Monferno! Flame Wheel! Jake Cheng: Luxray! Quick Attack! Monferno jumps and rolls forward before igniting himself and flying off like the front wheel of a Motorcycle while Luxray is right behind him, racing towards the opposing side.Alicia: Luxray! Aura Sphere! Latino: Ludicolo! Energy Ball! Both power up as they were doing hadoukens and fire off simultaneously. As both balls of energy fly across the field, Jake and BK London fear the worst.Jake Cheng: Luxray! Stop! Luxray, with a little difficulty, manages to pull the breaks but Monferno continues to race forward. He doesn't see both balls heading straight toward him, and as they get close - both energy balls collide and make one huge explosion with enough force to send Monferno backwards flying.
While the move never connected, it most certainly made quite a big explosion upon colliding with a large black cloud that engulfs nearly half the arena.Eddie Edison: Whoa! What an explosion! London just better be happy none of those moves connected with Monferno, or that might've been over! Monferno stands before the large smoke, and we now see the real reason for those attacks. Quickly Ludicolo steps through the blast and fires away a huge bubblebeam in the chest of Monferno - sending him flying backwards, and Lucario takes a bite out of Luxray with a huge Crunch!Eddie Edison: Didn't see that one coming? It looks like those two previous attacks were just a distraction for Latino and Alicia to hit their respective moves! There's a reason why these two are one of the most formidable teams in the Alpha region. BK London: Monferno! Get back up and hit Ludicolo with a Mach Punch! Monferno, albeit hurt, gets back up to his feet and now almost teleports in front of Ludicolo with the amazing speed he has and fakes with the left before flooring him with the right.BK London: Now do the same to Lucario Monferno! Another Mach Punch seems to be on the way, but Alicia has other plans.[/o]
Alicia: ExtremeSpeed Lucario!
And just like that, Lucario is literally quicker to the punch - delivering a huge elbow to the face of Monferno before he could even attempt another Mach Punch. Monferno drops down to the mat, and now Luxray attempts to get in some action.
Jake Cheng: Luxray! Fire Fang!
Luxray hops into the scene and attempts to return the bite to Lucario, but he Aura Pokemon is just too quick. Chomp after chomp, and Lucario continues to dodge it - and he jumps behind Luxray, who is now open for an attack.
Alicia: Lucario! Aura Sphere!
Lucario lets out a quick Aura Sphere, and Lucario has little time to respond.
Jake Cheng: Quick Luxray! Protect!
A giant green sphere covers Luxray, and the Aura Sphere simply bounces off the force field before it disappears.
Jake Cheng: Luxray! Discharge!
And quickly, a defense pops in the head of BK London.
BK London: Quick Monferno, Dig!
Knowing that Discharge affects every Pokemon on the field, BK London calls Monferno to dig underground to dodge the attack!
BK London: Could you give me a little warning next time?
Jake Cheng: Sorry.
Alicia: Lucario! Detect!
Lucario closes it's eyes and sense the attack before dodging it quickly. The only Pokemon that isn't safe from this attack is Ludicolo, who takes the blast full on and falls back down to the ground.
Eddie Edison: Looks like Ludicolo was the odd man out on this one, and it appears he's going to take a lot of damage from that!
Jake Cheng: Now Luxray, use Charge Beam on Lucario - quick!
Alicia: Lucario! Detect again!
Luxray obeys, and he lands his first shot on Lucario with a quick Charge Beam right to the the chest of the fighting/steel hybrid.
Eddie Edison: It looks like Lucario went to the hole one too many times and paid for it, Detect was NOT successful.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:14:06 GMT -5
Alicia however knows how to follow that up.Alicia: Lucario! Reversal - send it back! Lucario absorbs the attack into a yellow Aura Sphere and he blasts it right in front of Luxray, and the explosion sends the Lion Pokemon flying. He's down, but he's far from out.Alicia: Good job Lucario! There's a rumbling beneath the semi-legendary Pokemon, and the semi-absent Monferno blasts through the ground - completing his dig attack, and hitting head on with an uppercut.Eddie Edison: Pow! Right In the Kisser! Lucario takes a bit of a tumble himself, and Monferno beats his chest while jumping up and down to the delight of the fans - but he has another thing coming.Latino: Ludicolo! Rain Dance! Ludicolo shoots a major energy ball into the air, above the open stadium - and quickly, a storm cloud forms. From that cloud, it begins to pour heavily down on the arena - and Ludicolo's special ability kicks in.Eddie Edison: Rain Dance! I had to see it to believe it! This means bad news for Monferno and good news for Ludicolo - who's Swift Swim ability comes into play. Latino: Ludicolo! Bubblebeam on Monferno! Ludicolo quickly shoots out a bubblebeam, and as quick as Ludicolo has become - Monferno is still pretty fast as he backflips out the way of each bubbleshot that comes near him.Latino: Ludicolo! Ice Beam! A massive blue beam shoots out the mouth of Ludicolo - and it's heading right for Monferno, but he's saved by his partner. Luxray tackles Monferno out of the way, but instead takes the hit on his own - and its completely frozen by the attack.Latino: Not exactly what I want, but I'll take it! Monferno looks over at Luxray, who is frozen in mid-tackle - and Jake Cheng is even shocked at what happened.BK London: Don't worry Jake, I'll get you out of there! Monferno, Flamethrow- Alicia: - Lucario! Force Palm! BK London: Wha? Before Monferno can even take in a breath for the Flamethrower, Lucario races up towards Monferno and sticks it's paw right in the face of his opponent. Then a large beam of light blasts Monferno right in the face and sends him into the nearby wall.BK London: Monferno, no! Monferno, who's smoking right now - literally - slowly makes his way to his feet, and attempts to get another shot at defrosting Luxray - but Latino this time fends him off.Latino: Ludicolo - Bullet Seed! Ludicolo spits small bright yellow seeds out his mouth, and each connects with Monferno and blasts him right back into the wall - this time leaving a dent.BK London: Keep trying Monferno! Flame Wheel! Monferno gets back up, quite gingerly, and rolls forward into a Flame Wheel - but the opponent's Pokemon have him cornered and they send him back with a dual Engery Ball/Aura Sphere. The two attacks floor Monferno once again, and this time he looks down for the count.BK London: Come on Monferno! Get up! Get up! You can do this! Monferno is quite slow to respond after those two crippling attacks, but he eventually does get up - and he looks in the eyes of both Lucario and Ludicolo and starts beating his chest and screaming wildly. Soon enough, he glows white and everyone's finally witnessing an evolution.BK London: No Way! Eddie Edison: Folks! It appears that Monferno - Monferno's evolving! The transformation takes place right before our eyes, and the final product is Infernape! Infernape is ready to battle, albeit a little beat up - and he lets out an attack without it being called - none other than Heatwave
Inferno lets lose a major wind of flames at both of his opponents, sending both flying back across the field - and even Luxray gets hit two - which eventually defrosts him from his ice tomb.BK London: Alright! Good work Infernape! Jake Cheng: Luxray! What do you say we repay Ludicolo for the cool welcome? Luxray! Use Thunder on Ludicolo! Luxray's eyes glow red and it charges up before shooting a large bolt of lightning up into the rain clouds formed by Ludicolo. From there, the rain clouds return the favor by striking Ludicolo with a rather large lightning bolt - crisping the playful Pokemon and fainting it.Phillip: Ludicolo is unable to battle! Jake Cheng: Alright! Alicia: Lucario! Force Palm on Luxray! Jake Cheng: HWha?! Lucario races up to the face of Luxray, lets loose a little smirk - and then blasts it with a large beam. Luxray flies back into the nearest rock - and while he did have his brilliant moment hitting that Thunder, it was taken away from him rather quickly with that Force Palm, thanks to Lucario.Phillip: Luxray is unable to battle! Eddie Edison: Whoa! We're now down to two Pokemon in this heated battle! Who's going to come out the victor? The rain dance starts clearing up, and the sky is clear as it was 10 minutes ago - and now we get ready for the fight between Lucario & Infernape, between Alicia and London - a prelude to the BK London: Infernape! Alicia: Lucario! BK London/Alicia: Close Combat! Lucario and Infernape rush towards one another and the brawl between the two ensues. Kicks and punches are thrown at a speed unlike in any other battle, and each move seems to be hitting its mark from opposiing sides. Eventually the sequence finishes up with Lucario scoring a right to the jaw of Lucario while Infernape scores a left.
Both Pokemon take a trip slightly backwards, and now London is the first to call out a move.BK London: Infernape! Flamethrower! Infernape shoots a large flame out of it's mouth, headed towards Lucario.Alicia: Lucario! Detect! Then use Bone Rush! Lucario uses Detect and he jumps up high and actually runs down the stream of the Flamethrower before jumping higher to come down with his newly created Bone Club.BK London: Infernape! Grab it! As Lucario comes down, Infernape grabs the club of Lucario and prevents himself from behind hit with it. A struggle starts between the two, and it's a fierce one at that.BK London: Infernape! Flamethrower again! Alicia: Quick Lucario! Move out the way! Lucario follows orders, but he still manages to get hit on his side with part of the blast - and it's enough to put a chink in his armor. The club disappears, and while Lucario is definitely hurt - he refuses to show it, being the prideful Pokemon he is.BK London: Infernape! Mach Punch! Infernape almost teleports forward and he blasts Lucario in the face with a punch.Alicia: Lucario! Reversal! Quickly after that punch, Lucario builds up some strength and returns the punch and an amazing speed and force. Infernape flies backwards quickly, and smacks against a rock - but he recovers.BK London: Infernape! Flame Thrower! Alicia: Lucario! Aura Sphere! Both powerful attacks, that are released from quit a far distance. Eventually the two collide and it results in quite the explosion - and with that, we return to reality.Kiley: BK, BK, BK - wake up honey, wake up? BK London: Huh? Huh? What happened?! Kiley: You dozed off on the couch playing your Pokemon again - I don't know why I'm remarrying a 25 year old man who continue to play Pokemon, but whatever right? BK London: You mean, you mean it was all a dream? Jake Cheng: I used to read Word Up Magazine? Salt-N-Pepa and Heavy D up in in he limosuine? BK London: You're here too? Jake Cheng: Well I am the best man, I have to be part of these festivities. BK London: Whoa, I just had the weirdest - longest dream ever. And you were in it, and you were in it... Jake Cheng: ...ok Dorothy, I think you've had one too many shots over the head in your career - but since we're done with the wedding planning, why don't we head over to RDK's New Year's Eve Bash - I hear it's gonna be the big hit of the century. Suddenly there's a bit of a rumbling beneath them.Jake Cheng: Did you feel that? BK London: Yeah, sort of - I wonder what that was. Kiley: Probably nothing, now hurry up or we'll be late. And with that, ends the story of BK London's Pokemon Adventures....or does it?
Tune into the next Bizarro show to see if BK London does beat Alicia Kitsune, or does AK's knowledge and Pokemon prowess overpower the former champion.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:15:29 GMT -5
Match 5: “Political Activism” Multi-man Match: Team Phillips vs. Team Obama (Credit: Senator)
Maxwell McNally: ACW has seen some rather bizarre matches in its past, but this one tops ‘em all, two teams of four each, with the two politicians in charge of each. In fact, due to those two public servants, our table has increased in size, and been situated away from the ring and the audience, up here on the stage.
“Fast” Eddie Edison: And not only that, but the rules here are quite unique! For one thing, nobody even knows all of them, we’ve been informed that some “higher power” backstage is in charge of setting the rules…but what we do know, is that each team will send out one of their competitors at a time, until the backstage whateveryouwannacallhim will tell them they can send out another. From there, the wrestlers fight until one team is eliminated, so in other words…THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
McNally: Ok, Hunter, but seriously…
Edison: Pff, Hunter would have said that there could only be Sparta!
McNally: Um, that was random, but anyway, the two teams enter, starting with one on one, and then when prompted, Phillips and Obama will send in more team members, with four members per team. When one team is eliminated by pinfall, submission, countout, or ref stoppage, the match is over.
Edison: Hey, that’s what I said!
McNally: Yes, Eddie, but I said it in a way that people could understand.
Edison: You wanna fight?
McNally: No.
Edison: Ok.
McNally: So then, after that remarkably uncomfortable moment, let’s sit back down and watch as Phillip Jones brings our attention to ringside.
Phillip Jones: Welcome everybody to what promises to be one heck of a match! First, I would like to thank this match’s sponsor, the United States Government, which has generously sponsored this bout through a provisional loophole in the upcoming health care bill! The United States Government, always looking out for you! Next, I ask you to give your regard to the team captains, Senator Steve Phillips and President Barack Obama!
(Editor’s note: Barack Obama still shows up as “misspelled” on my computer. I do not intend to change that status.)
“Hail to the Chief” plays over the PA system, and Senator Phillips, flanked by the Capitalists, walks out from the curtain, making his way over to the announcer’s table, where he takes a seat to a mixed reaction. In their usual custom, the Capitalists steal two chairs from a technician’s table in joining their boss.
McNally: It’s nice to greet you to our table, sir.
Edison: Speak for yourself, I don’t want to sit next to the old man!
The Senator: And you think I want to hear your motor mouth running at light speed?
Soon, the flourishes of, yes, “Hail to the Chief” play again, as Barack Obama now enters to the presidential theme, flanked by a phalanx of four Secret Service agents. President Obama waves to the audience, to a slightly more positive, but still mixed reaction, before taking his seat on the opposite side of the announcer’s table.
Obama: I have to say, it’s a pleasure and an honor for me to be sitting here amongst the Alpha Championship Wrestling fans.
McNally: It is quite the honor for us as well, Mr. President.
Phillip: Next, I need to ask each of you to agree on a choice for special referee. I know each of you have brought several guests into town, so beginning with President Obama, I would like to hear your submitted choice for special guest referee.
Obama: I submit Mr. Keith Olbermann as my choice.
Senator: I don’t think so, no pale imitations should be allowed here. My first choice is the incomparable Bill O’Reilly.
Obama: I’d rather not see that, or his show, for that matter. Surely you can’t disagree with such an impartial choice as Bill Moyers.
Senator: That partisan hack? Only a true thinking man like George Will would suffice for my choice.
Obama: If you were looking for someone to set conservative policy, then yes, but I think that Stephan Russo…
Edison: Say wha?
Senator: Why not go with…Bill Murray? Everyone likes Bill Murray.
Obama: For once, I might actually be in agreement with you, Senator Phillips.
At that moment “I’m All Right” by Kenny Loggins plays, as Bill Murray, wearing a referee striped sweater walks down to the ring, and takes an exaggerated bow for the crowd.
Phillip: Almost ready here…so then, announcing the special timekeeper, “Textbook” Tim Dwight, the ringside doctors, Dr. Trace Gibson and Dr. Gregory House, and the special ring card girl, the world famous tennis star, Maria Sharapova!
Sharapova, wearing a modest white dress, waves to the audience to appreciative cheers.
Obama: I wasn't aware that professional wrestling had rounds…
McNally: It doesn’t, and to my knowledge, this match doesn’t…
Senator: Hush, you.
Phillip: I have now been informed that each team may call in one member to the ring.
The crowd begins to ooh and ahh, especially up in the upper decks, for they are the first to notice as a black clad figure wearing a kevlar vest rappels down from the rafters.
Phillip: Announcing first, from Team Senator, he is a feleral agent who `as single-handedly prevented multiple terrorist attacks upon the United States, hailing from Los Angeles, USA, Jack Bauer!
Senator: I daresay that Mr. Bauer will not require twenty-four hours to decimate your team, Mr. President.
Obama: I respectfully disagree with that absurd assessment, for my team will change your mind, I do hope that you will be humble enough to give my fighters credit, in fact, I had essential input from none other than the Vice President himself, nobody messes with Joe!
Suddenly, Vice President Joe Biden stands up from his front row seat, where he had previously been sitting unnoticed, and jumps right over the guard barrier, much to the astonishment of Obama and the ringside crew.
Phillip: Ahem, announcing...the first selection of Team Obama, the Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden!
Biden climbs into the ring as Jack Bauer drops down onto the canvas, and strikes a rather ridiculous John L. Sullivan inspired fighting stance in front of the seasoned CTU agent.
Senator: This cannot go well...I do not know if I can watch...
Edison: I know I can watch! This is going to be all out incredible!
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:17:04 GMT -5
Bauer looks over at Biden, who bullrushes him, only to instantly end up in a ferocious standing rear choke hold. Biden taps out faster than Thunder Train can eat a donut, but Bauer is hardly in the mood to let go of the move, and drags his opponent backwards.
Phillip: Vice President Joe Biden has been eliminated!
Referee Bill Murray: Uh, you can stop now, please?
Edison: Violence upon an elected official! You gotta love it!
President Obama's four Secret Service agents turn in unison with a dirty, sunglass obscured look of venom.
McNally: I only sit next to him.
Bauer, in full combat mode, not only continues to choke out Vice President Biden, but falls back through the ropes, continuing with the hold as the two hit the floor.
Murray: Hey, if he's not going to listen to me...I'm counting him out....1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-and--10!
Phillip: Jack Bauer has been eliminated!
Senator: Argh, already? It just figures, shoulda known Bauer would hardly be able to control his worse instincts with nothing truly life threatening on the line.
Obama: Your choice...
Phillip: I have been notified that as both of the initial competitors have been eliminated, each team can bring out their next entry! Introducing first, from Team Senator, he is a Filipino legend, a man who has won more titles at more weight classes in professional boxing than almost anyone in history, the Pac Man, Manny Pacquiao!
Manny Pacquiao appears at the entranceway, wearing his boxing trunks, and carrying a microphone...all the best to sing his own theme.
Pacquiao: RISING UP, BACK ON THE STREEEEET...
Senator: I know I picked him...I know he is quite fond of karaoke and singing in general...but why, oh why, did he have to sing now...and sing my own blasted theme!
Pacquiao: ...IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIIIIGERRRRR, THE THRILL OF THE FIIIIGHT
Senator: Obama, call your guy out already!
Obama: I think that I made a pretty good choice here, if I do say so myself.
Senator: I am unsure if I would rather listen to your self-congratulatory speech or Pacquiao's din.
Obama: Perhaps it is just me, but I think you have a bit of a problem controlling your temper, Senator Phillips. And I suppose I should call out my challenger...
Phillip: Announcing next, he is undefeated in his professional boxing career, and one of the greatest of all time, pound for pound, no stranger to professional wrestling, I introduce to you, from Team Obama, Floyd "Money" Mayweather!
McNally: And now we know why we needed the US Government to foot the bill for this match.
Unfortunately for all those involved, as Pacquiao continues with his impromptu concert, Mayweather arrives with his own microphone, and starts up his own rap.
Mayweather: It's like one to the two, two to the three...
Senator: Someone shoot me now!
Mayweather: Alright, nuff said here, I see I got Manny Pacquiao in the ring, but listen up, I'm not stepping one foot forward until Pacquiao agrees to an Olympic Style blood test right here, right now! The way I see it, if he doesn't...
Pacquiao: Shut it! I'm not listening! You're too big to fight me fair! You step into the ring, the ring collapses!
Mayweather: What? You're just trying to duck me! I'll be tested, you just know you can't take a random test, don't you, Pacquiroid!
Pacquiao: You insult me, I don't do drugs, just like you can't fight anyone who might beat you!
Mayweather: Wanna do something about it...wait...you don't wanna do a thing without being on your "cycle", right?
Phillip: Due to the complete inactivity, both teams can bring in their next members! Announcing next, for Team Obama, he is the former governor of the great state of Illinois, a man who's hair defies physics, and a man who has appeared on every talk show on the face of the planet, Rod Blagojevich!
Blagojevich, wearing a tattered Golden Gloves shirt, steps out onto the stage, and awkwardly raises his fist for a hesitant bump with an uncomfortable looking Mayweather.
McNally: I might remind you that for his buffoonish appearance and political scandal, Blagojevich does have some amateur boxing experience...and no, I will also remind the audience that this is not a boxing match, despite the individuals involved.
Senator: And the ring card gal....
Edison: Not paying much attention, huh, old man?
Senator: Excuse me, you little whelp!
Edison: Uh, it's your turn.
Senator: Well...um...yeah.
Phillips gestures to the back, as a massive shadow fills the entranceway and the “Super Bowl Shuffle” begins to play.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:18:40 GMT -5
Phillip: Announcing next, for Team Senator, he was a member of the 1986 Super Bowl winning Chicago Bears...William "The Refrigerator" Perry! William Perry, already a gigantic lineman in his day, is even larger at this point in time, and uses his considerable strength and bulk to not only scoop up both Blago and Mayweather from behind, but to carry both down to the ring, depositing them under the bottom rope, before taking a long slow time to enter himself into the contest. Edison: Looks like we might actually see a match take place now! Senator: Thanks to my fighter. Obama: Just like in the last election, I think that you don’t have a solid grasp on my strategy. Perry, wearing an old Bears jersey and navy blue sweatpants, walks next to Pacquiao, and the two stare down against their opponents. Blagojevich appears to have second thoughts, and takes a pronounced step behind Mayweather. Pretty Boy Floyd, however, does not back down in the least, and engages in an intense staredown with his equivalent on Team Senator. Pacquiao slowly inches forward, as does Mayweather, and the two finally unleash leather, throwing their fists at lightspeed, although, for as many punches the two launch at each other, they also are able either to block or dodge the incoming attacks. McNally: They’re two of the best in the business, the speed and skill that Mayweather and Pacquiao possess are undeniable. Blago, sensing an opening, sneaks around his teammate, looking to get a cheap shot in on the Pac Man when…WHAM! The Refrigerator, who had rebounded slowly off the opposite ropes, returns with considerable velocity, wiping the disgraced former Illinois Governor out with extreme prejudice. Murray: He’s not getting up from that, in fact, he shouldn’t get up from that! Phillip: Rod Blagojevich has been eliminated! Also, each team may call out their next member at this time! In the ring, however, Floyd Mayweather is hardly waiting for reinforcements, and blasts the Fridge in the back of the head with a leaping hook. Despite the enormous size discrepancy, Perry is out on his feet, and stumbles back around, only to topple over and flatten not just Mayweather, but Pacquiao with the mother of all belly flops! Murray: And that’s where we call in the doctors… At ringside, however, neither of the doctors seem too eager to jump into the ring. Dr. Gregory House: You go in there, I’d rather sit back and watch the fun. Dr. Trace Gibson: You think I’m going to go in there and clean up that mess? ACW doesn’t pay me enough! House: Crippled guy here, you take care of them! Besides, it’s probably just a few bruised ribs, boooring. Gibson: Excuses, excuses. And as such, neither of the sarcastic, irascible doctors do their job, preferring to sit back and watch things unfold. Phillip: Well, apparently…William Perry, Manny Pacquiao, and Floyd Mayweather all are eliminated! And announcing next, for Team Obama, he is currently contracted to World Wrestling Entertainment, but you might know him best from a slew of unwatchable MTV reality shows, Mike Mizanin! Senator: Are you serious? Really? You can hardly be serious here… Obama: I believe that the youth of America need representation if there’s going to be real change, and I have hope that my choice here will not only prevail in the current contest, but will give America a true future. Senator: If I were a drinking man, I think I would want a bottle of hard liquor at this moment, after enduring that tripe. Soon, Mizanin makes his way to the ring, and takes a microphone, much to the horror of Steve Phillips, and surely to the delight of Jason Freeman, wherever he might be at this time. Mizanin: This place really sucks, doesn’t it? But that doesn’t matter now, because I am the Miz, and I am… (Senator embedding a Youtube video, what is the world coming to?) Phillip Jones is about to announce the next participant, but instead has his microphone taken by a rather short woman wearing a sparkly dress. (Senator putting a picture in his match, what now?) Lenne Hardt(famous Japanese MMA announcer): ANNOUNCING NEXT, FOR TEAM SENATOR, HE IS A VETERAN OF K-1 KICKBOXING, PRIDE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP, DREAM FIGHING CHAMPIONSHIP, AND THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP, HAILING FROM ZAGREB, CROAAATIAAA, MIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRKOOOOOOOOO CRRRROOOOOOOOO COOOOOPPPPPPP! Edison: And you thought I was loud, Maxie? McNally: Never again, Eddie.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:20:44 GMT -5
Mirko Cro Cop walks down to the ring with a purpose, walking right up to Mizanin…who is strangely unfazed, and even has the nerve to arrogantly stick his chin in the air, tapping it with his index finger. The audience urges Cro Cop on as he considers taking the free shot, his deadly left leg slightly lifting off the mat, but instead, he shakes his head, and turns around. Incensed, Mizanin rushes over to his opponent, spinning Cro Cop around, and flipping the bird right in-between his eyes.
Senator: Ah, I think I will just sit back and enjoy this!
Although the crowd is at a fever pitch, Mirko Cro Cop does not lash out, yet again, and again, Mizanin pushes the envelope, this time slapping the Croatian in the face…and instantly finds Cro Cop’s deadly left foot upside his head! The devastating impact sends Mizanin flying backwards, tripping over the pile of the Fridge, Pac, and Money, and rolls to a stop halfway under the ropes.
Murray: Yeah, he’s dead, Jim.
Lenne Hardt: THE WINNER, MIIIIRRRRKOOOOOO CROOOOOO…
Phillip Jones, having received a message, swipes his microphone back from Hardt.
Phillip: This match is not yet over! I have been informed that all members of Team Obama have NOT been eliminated, and that in fact, Joe Biden was not officially part of this match!
Obama: Hey, I didn’t force him to jump in the ring, it wasn’t my idea…
At this point, Jack Bauer, through with choking out the Vice President, arrives at the announcer’s table, sitting next to the Capitalists and taking a headset.
Edison: How many of those do we have?
McNally: As many as we need…welcome to the team, sir.
Jack Bauer: Dammit! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize the rules said I could lose in that way, and I didn’t even beat an official member of the enemy!
Senator: It is quite ok, Mr. Bauer,
Obama: Speak for yourself, Senator Phillips, this man just put a choke hold on my Vice President.
Bauer: I shut his mouth, you have a problem with that, Mr. President?
President Obama takes a good moment to think about his answer, which in itself is the only answer that we really need.
Phillip: Announcing the final member of Team Obama, he is a legend from Fallout, a rude, crude, and obnoxious guy who finds the crotch chop to be a work of art, everyone welcome back the carnage kid, the last REAL member of D-Generation X, the cash machine, FRANCHI$E!
As the still skinny, still twerpy Franchi$e jumps out onto the stage, crotch chopping all the while, several ringside officials set up a pole on one of the turnbuckles, hanging a mysterious briefcase on top of the rod. As soon as the pole is set up, Franchi$e runs past Cro Cop, dashing up the pole, and holding on with all his might.
Phillip: I have been informed that with the last two members of the match in the ring, the final fall will be a “Briefcase on a Pole” rules match! The first man to obtain the briefcase and take it down wins the match!
Senator: …on a pole match…I know who this guy is…Mr. Bauer, if you want to help out one more time, I would appreciate it if you went backstage and tracked down…
Phillips turns off the headset to mutter out his command, and Bauer instantly nods his head before dashing off.
Back to the ring, Cro Cop heads over to catch the slowly ascending Franchi$e, when beyond belief, out from under the ring, DNC Chairman Howard Dean crawls out, kendo stick in hand, and blasts the MMA fighter below the belt with a ferocious shout and accompanying yell
Dean: I’m gonna win this match for the President, YAARRRRRRRGGHHHHH!
McNally: Now I’ve seen them all.
Senator: Not yet, you haven’t! (Senatorial contraction?!??! Perhaps we HAVE seen it all now!)
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:21:54 GMT -5
Phillips hurls a water bottle down to the ringside area, his signal for the legendary Japanese wrestler, Genichiro Tenryu to make his way over the guard barrier from the front row. Tenryu, wearing a “Steve Phillips for Senate” shirt, climbs onto the apron, slowly pulling Franchi$e down and delivering a knife edge chop that sends him flying into Dr. Gibson and Dr. House. All chaos breaks loose as the Capitalists get out of their chairs, and prepare to run down to the ring, only to be cut off by President Obama’s four Secret Service agents.
Fitsharris: Hey, Kevin Costner, get outta my way!
Agent: Can’t let you interfere here.
Fitsharris: The hell you can’t!
The two Capitalists leap into the square of federal agents, and a frenzied brawl takes place on the entrance ramp. Down in the ring, Howard Dean starts climbing up the turnbuckles, ostensibly to get to the briefcase, but instead, Tenryu catches him, and with a vertical suplex lift, pulls Dean into the air, and leaping off the apron, connects with a horrendous variation on his 53 Years Old northern lights brainbuster to the outside!
Edison:
McNally: I take back my earlier words, you ARE the loudest mouthed person I have ever heard around here.
Edison: *urk* i---aim---*urk*---to---please.
Obama: I think that cleaned out my ears.
Senator: Your big ears?
Obama: You uncultured right-winger, lay off!
Senator: Aww, who has the temper problem now?
Again, back to the action, with everyone well knocked out or completely out of it at ringside, the Capitalists still fighting the Man(or at least, his bodyguards), and neither captain willing to leave their seat, it almost looks as if we’re in for a long wait…but someone finally decides to take action. Yes, none other than the designated Ring Card Girl, Maria Sharapova goes into second gear, climbing up onto the apron, and then ascending the rather slippery pole. Making one supreme effort, the tennis superstar reaches the briefcase, and pulls it down. Seeing Mirko Cro Cop on the mat, still recovering from Howard Dean’s vicious attack, she tosses it down…
Senator: Yes!
…but instead, ACW’s perpetual jobber, Gary, jumps into the ring, catching the briefcase with a flying leap, and dives out of the ring, handing it off onto the body of an unconscious Franchi$e!
Senator: No!
Phillip: Your winners, Franchi$e, Floyd Mayweather, Mike Mizanin, and Rod Blagojevich, Team Obama!
Gary: That’s what you get for almost killing me, you big mean jerk!
Senator: *Facepalm*
Suddenly, yet another guard barrier(typical ACW security job, eh?) jumper leaps into the ringside area, clad in a familiar looking Cincinatti Reds jacket and baseball cap.
McNally: The Red’s Only Fan! What’s he doing here?
Red looks down at Franchi$e with an annoyed face, and picks up the briefcase.
Red: That’s my travel bag, wondered where that went!
And as soon as Mr. Red appeared, he again jumps back over the barrier, briefcase in hand.
President Obama raises an arm in triumph at the announcement, and walks over to shake the hand of his defeated foe. Phillips quickly takes the hand, and while both men are all smiles, their eyes give away a deeper dislike as they quietly speak, unheard by camera.
Obama: Just like I won the election, I win again. I can only hope for your sake that you fall into line and stop challenging me. You’re a relic of the past, but I say that there’s still time to change.
Senator: I dare say you overestimate yourself, Icarus. Face it, you flew too close to the sun during the election, and I will delight in watching your slow descent as the wings melt. You may still be flying high, but your altitude is slowly dropping.
The two continue shaking for a moment, both putting a little too much force into the handshake, before departing in opposite directions. While President Obama heads backstage, Phillips looks down the entrance ramp, shaking his head both at the defeat, and at the sorry heap of fallen fighters in the ring, the ringside area, and on the ramp, seeing that both Capitalists and the entire Secret Service detail are all sprawled out, with the lone exception of Fitsharris, who, despite his broken nose, gives a weary thumbs up from a shaky footing.
Senator: Last man standing, eh…
Fade Out
(Additional credit to Red for his cameo)
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:22:23 GMT -5
Post-match segment: The Epilogue (Credit: ??, Senator)
***In the backstage production booth***
[glow=yellow,2,300]The Following Scene Takes Place Between 8:27 and 8:28[/glow]
Jack Bauer, having been sent on a mission to discover the identity of the wacko behind the rules and madcap pronouncements during the prior match, has arrived at his destination. Crouching by the side door of the booth, Bauer looks around, and finding nobody to be around, he brutally kicks in the door, jumping into the production booth.
??: Hey, wutz that?
Jack Bauer: Phillips told me I’d find…you…Vince Russo.
Russo: What gave me away? I kept my identity secret from everyone!
Bauer: He told me something about that “briefcase on a pole stipulation” being irrefutable proof.
Russo: Aww, why can’t everyone else love that match?
Bauer: I don’t. And I was also told by another source that the person in your position have some information that I need. Something about an imminent disaster that might occur here.
Russo: I don’t have anything to tell you, really!
Bauer: We’ll see about that…
Bauer looks over with a menacing stare, and one might forgive Russo for trying to run out through a too-small window, as well as the camera for choosing to fade away at this moment.
---
In another backstage area, this one being the hallway leading to the parking lot, President Obama is seen walking back to his limo, talking on his Blackberry.
Obama: This wrestling thing is actually quite entertaining, I think, Michelle. Perhaps I can understand why Senator Phillips can’t leave this place. There’s a certain exhilaration that I felt when my team obtained a truly unlikely victory, but my own leadership can solve any problem, so long as we know that yes, we can! But really, I enjoyed myself, especially seeing the look on Phillips’s face when he realized that his victory was deferred. Such an arrogant punk, I just wish I could have punched him out…yeah, I know, people wouldn’t like hearing me say that, but…
Out of nowhere, a flying black-gi wearing streak catches President Obama just as he rounds the corner, taking him down to the ground, and into a Jujigatame Armbar! Yes, none other than Thiago Gracie has taken down the President of the United States and placed him in the most perfect cross armbreaker known to man! Gracie quickly releases his hold, getting up to his feet and looks into the security camera, pointing to the President, and yelling.
Gracie: Armbar again! Nobody is safe from the Armbar! Not even a head of state is safe!
After his quick statement, Gracie dashes off again, before a horde of out of shape ACW security guards can catch him.
Fade Out (?? = Thiago Gracie, of course)
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:23:06 GMT -5
Closing Segment: Goodbye to all that (Credit: AK)
The man in the slightly battered old sedan awakens with a start. It takes several seconds for him to come to his senses, and shake the remnants of strange dreams from his brain.
Jonathan Gingerdude sits still, gazing out of the windscreen into an empty street. The moonlight plays across the wide expanse of the equally empty parking lot to his right. A multitude of thoughts run through his head, and he allows them to play for several moments. Then, quietly, he opens the door and gets out, closing it softly.
He leans against the side of the vehicle and stares at the silent edifice before him. The ACW arena cannot exactly be claimed as any great work of art, but this does not lessen Ginger’s affection for it. It is indeed odd how much emotion can become invested in bricks and mortar.
As he views it, Ginger cannot help but feel a kind of physical pain. For he knows that this building, and the ground it stands on, is suffering too. Although it looks peaceful now, come the morning, the removal vans will arrive to strip out anything of value. And then the bulldozers and cranes will come...
Ginger does not need to re-read the surveyor’s report which has proven to be the final straw for the company which he nurtured. Neither does he need to read any of the paper trail documenting its slow decline; the rising bills and falling gate receipts. All his prudent measures, his cost-cutting and roster purging have failed to stabilise the critical bank balance; reducing expenditure on the shows has proven only to drive away the more hardcore fans, and there are no new casual fans being attracted to replace them. Coupled with this are numerous lawsuits which he has been trying his best to settle or fend off. All this would be a massive challenge for a young, enthusiasm-filled man; Jonathan has gradually realised that he is neither of these things any longer.
Even now, he is divided; he still recognises the effort and fire of his remaining roster, and part of him would dearly love to continue to lead them. But all that Ginger has achieved has come at a great cost, in particular with regard to estrangement from his closest remaining family. A man can take only so much heartache in one lifetime, and Ginger has had more than his fill. Ginger realises that there can be no chance whatsoever of reconciliation with Anna while the federation he created divides them; maybe it’s already too late, but Ginger feels that he must at least make a gesture. Even if it can only make his memory a little less blackened and withered in her heart...
He gazes wordlessly at the contaminated buildings, invisibly scarred by the chemicals from an undisclosed previous use of the site for chemical production. The hazards are mixed into the very concrete of the structure, rendering it artificially unstable. Even if the risk of a building failure is slight, he is wise enough to know that the public cannot continue to visit the place en masse.
Everything is insured, of course; Ginger smiles wistfully, the one positive pay-off of all his planning. He had been half-tempted to torch the place, in the best melodramatic tradition; but he has always been too solid a character for such theatrics, and arson would rule out any monetary gain. He has arranged for the site to be cleared; by selling all the contents, other assets such as his limousine and his own house, and using most of the remaining reserves of cash, he has managed to clear all the outstanding bills and circling vultures. ACW will be left with a clean slate, a cleared site, its intellectual properties and the remaining insurance money... and one person who is unknowingly about to receive a registered mail package with all the legal documents which remain. A person who, Ginger hopes, will be able to decide whether ACW’s roster can revive the federation’s fortunes, and oversee the inevitable power struggles to come.
Ginger stands up straight, as if a great weight has been lifted from him. He has given ACW a fighting chance, paid its dues and paid his respects to its members; now, it will be for others to take the heavy decisions. At last, at long last, he is a free man.
He turns to the car; there is a small suitcase on the back seat. His last remaining worldly possessions. His hand rests on the doorhandle a second before he opens it.
But he does not take the suitcase out. Instead, he takes his wallet from his pocket, removes a small amount of cash, and tosses the rest on to the back seat. He places the car keys in the ignition, and leaves them there.
As he glances at his watch, he sees that it is just a few minutes from midnight. He nods, and then takes the watch off, dropping it into the footwell of the vehicle.
The door closes, and Jonathan Gingerdude walks away, leaving behind everything relating to his old life. At the end of the street, he turns right and walks down toward the shorefront and the pier where boats call to drop off and pick up visitors to the island.
All remains silent, until in the far distance, a clock is heard striking 12. The final strike is accompanied by a faint sound, the splash of something entering the water, unseen.
It starts to rain in the empty streets, a quiet, melancholy beginning to a new decade...
Fade to Black.
End of Show.
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Post by Alicia "Atomic" Kitsune on Dec 31, 2009 17:28:47 GMT -5
I’d just like to thank everyone who contributed to tonight’s show; I really enjoyed seeing what everyone has come up with, and I hope you all enjoyed the writing as much as I enjoyed reading it. Great stuff, guys.
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Taylor
Senatorial Stable
Posts: 255
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Post by Taylor on Dec 31, 2009 18:27:21 GMT -5
Great show all, everyone who contributed deserves praise as all the writing was top notch tonight. I think it would be unfair to single out people but it was nice to BK write again and to Chance for the first time. Is Chance sticking around?
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Post by jonnyomega on Dec 31, 2009 19:57:34 GMT -5
I was over the moon to see my name on the scoresheet. Well played Dan.
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Post by The Red Panther on Dec 31, 2009 20:05:19 GMT -5
That last match was....Strange? Anyway, great show
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Post by Trent Wheeler on Dec 31, 2009 21:26:16 GMT -5
That was unique. XD Wish I went a little crazier with my idea.
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