Thursday Night Meltdown September 24th 2009

[Jonny Spade]

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Jimmy Winner vs. Kaoru Hanayama

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Marvellous "Mickey Martin" vs. Jeff James

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Jack Jefferson vs. Anthony Kalb - EOTR Semi Final

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TEXAS BULL ROPE MATCH
Chris Phenomenal vs. The Capitalists.

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Dave Shadow vs. VorteX - EOTR Semi Final

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[Jonny Spade]

He's Back! And Suaver Than Ever
Dan White

It's been a week since yet another attack on the World champion. And his absence on Monday night showed just how much Thunder Train may have affected The Welsh Dragon Dan White. Three attacks in three consecutive nights doesn't go down particularly well, especially from where Dan comes from, and where his background lies. Last Thursday was just the final nail in the coffin as far as he is concerned, and he's not preparing to let Thunder Train off lightly....or is he? His self-imposed silence has confused and worried a large contingent of people. Not only the fans who supported him towards this long-awaited World title reign, but also the management. They finally allowed Dan the World title, only for him to give a very muted reign so far. So what gives?

Well, as a car is parked up in the backstage area, the familiar Aston Martin DB9, there's a bit of a pop from the overwatching crowds. And the door opens, and Dan White walks out. He's wearing a white suit with a black shirt, which is rather uncharacteristic of him, as we are used to seeing him in casual clothing. Completely ignoring the interviewer at hand (who happens to be Kev the rev), Dan takes his belt out from the backseat of the car, and a kit bag. He slings the bag over his shoulder, and begins to walk beyond Kevin, who hastily tries to keep up with him.

Kevin: So erm, Dan! You're finally here! I think ACW as a whole was getting quite worried about your lack of appearance on Monday night.

Dan raises an eyebrow, as he walks, forcing Kevin to follow.

Dan White: I took the night off.

Kevin: Erm, okay, but why? I mean you're the World champion, you can't just take the night off...

Dan White: Well perhaps I didn't want to take the night off. Didn't you think of that, scoop?

Kevin: Err, no...

Kevin's extra weight is causing him to struggle carrying on with the Welshman, but he manages to stay true to the cause.

Kevin: But surely there's a reason to....to why you took the night off?

Dan White: Yep, there is. I was told by Gingerdude to take the night off. I was bleeding pretty heavily after last Thursday. Some of my wounds that were continuously being reopened were getting infected and they could have really damaged me. I spent the time in hospital recovering.

Kevin: That's fair enough.

Dan White: And Gingerdude also wanted me to not do anything stupid. Apparently revenge is a form of stupidity. In a wrestling federation. Strange that, huh?

Kevin has no answer, as Dan stops in his tracks, taking some keys out of his jacket pocket, and opening his car door.

Kevin: So what can we expect from Dan White tonight? You're not scheduled for a match.

Dan looks at Kevin with a smile. A smile that we've not seen in a long time.

Dan White: You know, I have quite a lot planned. Thanks for asking. But you're just gonna have to wait and find out.

With the biggest cheesiest grin this side of the planet, Dan opens his door, and shuts it into Kevin's face. Kevin looks at the camera, shrugging, as we fade to a “Don't Try This At Home Or At School Or In Church Or Hellit Anywhere” ad.

Fade out.

[Jonny Spade]

Segment: Another Clipping
(Credit: Senator)

BESTDAMNWRESTLINGNEWSSITE EXCLUSIVE!!!!
The Inside Perspective: Phillips, ACW embroiled in legal battles again
By Nigel Lardner

Any longtime follower of ACW’s backstage situation knows that while Senator Steve Phillips has been a locker room leader at times, and an exemplary competitor, he has also been a major pain in the neck for ACW management through most of his career. I contend that Phillips and Chairman Gingerdude, both used to being wielders of authority, feel that they cannot let the other gain an inch of ground when it comes to negotiations. So yet again, the two clash, after Phillips recently worked his way into a title shot earlier this year, only to retire upon losing the belt, Gingerdude told him that he was hardly done yet, and is trying to bring the Senator back from Washington to finish out his stated contract. Of course, it’s not a cut and dried matter, as Phillips reportedly has the largest, most loophole ridden contract in the history of the organization, and has consistently reviewed and revised it, year by year. This time, however, those who have a more accurate insight than myself on this particular instance say that Ginger may finally have caught Phillips and could beat him at his own game. Time will tell if the worn down warrior will return to the ring, although many, including myself mainly hope that he is relegated to a non-wresting role if forced to finish out the contract, if only so that we can be spared the worries of another potential tragedy of another broken down veteran pushing himself too hard in the ring.

[Jonny Spade]

Match 1: Kaoru Hanayama vs Jimmy Winner (Writen by The Red Panther)

The arena lights dim, as the low, powerful bass of "Take Sword" breaks out from the speakers. The audience already realizes what is to come. Some boo, and some and some just stand in awed silence, as Kaoru Hanayama's massive frame emerges from backstage with a blunt, glazed stare.

Yo, aiyo, chumps are in trouble, boy, tongue pay double, boy
I'm trump tight, you better go home, and cuddle, boy
I leave you ducks in a puddle, buried under cuz of rubble
Turn your body, to sparks and stubbles

Kaoru takes slow, heavy steps towards the ring, his face periodically shrouded by his swaying hair.

Hot lead from the cylinder, from my two-shot dillinger
Put that hot steel in ya, bigger not feeling ya
Bio hazard, to ya flesh and ya fabric
No need to scratch your hair, son, the clean to my static.

Hanayama walks intimidatingly up the metal steps and menacingly steps through the ropes, wearing an emotionless look.

As Kaoru waits, the lights dim down. Piano plays as the opening of "We Are The Champions" plays.

I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through

Jimmy Winner walks out and drops to his knees in his purple trunks.

ONNNN
ONNNN
ONNNN
ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN (or something)

Pyro booms out as Winner jumps up and punches the air, the fans cheering him.

Weeeeeeeee
Are the champions
My friends

Jimmy jogs too the ring and rolls in getting ready too lock up with Kaoru when...

Philips: And, the guest enforcer.....The Red Panther!

Panther walks down the isle in his normal attire with black and white stripes on his shirt and goes too ringside.

Phillips: If any cheating is detected The Red Panther is able too use force too keep order.

Edison: Panther may not be impartial, he has an MMA match with Winner at Emperor Of The Ring.

DING DING DING

Kaoru has the size advantage for sure, put Winner is not put off, locking up. Winner ducks behind Kaoru, pushes him away and stomps the back of his shin. Kaoru drops too one knee and gets a boot too the back, flooring him. Winner stomps Kaoru but the big man uses his power too get back up and then chops Winner, dropping him. Kaoru grabs Winner by the hair and lifts him up too his feet. Kaoru lifts Winner up into a firemans carry and then runs at the corner, diving toward it and crushing Winner. Kaoru rolls Winner and covers, getting two.

Maxwell: Winner may be rusty after a few years inactive.

Kaoru boots Winner across the back and goes too stand over him, only for Winner too hook his legs up, wraps them around Kaoru and takes him down into The Champions Lock (Kneebar). Kaoru gets near the ropes, and seeing this Panther runs round and pushes the rope out too him. Winner relinquishes the hold and has words with Panther before turning back too Kaoru and receiving a boot too the face. Kaoru grabs Winner by the trunks and tosses him through the top and middle ropes. Kaoru growls loudly and then charges, suicide diving over onto the floor, missing Winner who kips up. Winner knee drops Kaorus arm and then elbows his jaw, but gets pushed off by Panther, who yells something about it being an unfair tactic.

Edison: Panther has tried too hinder Winner so far.

The crowd boo Panther, who ignores them and backs off. Kaoru slaps Winner across the face, sending spit flying. Kaoru slaps him with the other hand and then uppercuts Winner into the apron. Kaoru rolls Winner in and covers, getting another two. Kaoru goes too lift Winner but Winner grabs Kaoru around the neck, pulls him down and starts kneeing him in the jaw.

Maxwell: Winner may turn it around here!

Winner pushes Kaoru too the ropes, whips him too the other ropes and follows with an Axe-Bomber! Winner covers but gets two. Winner boots Kaoru in the head and then starts walking round the ring, yelling and getting into the match. Winner pulls off one armband and throws it. He then stands over Kaoru and pulls off the other, dropping it. Kaoru starts to stand and gets hit with an axe kick by Winner, who heads to the ropes. Winner climbs onto the apron and awaits Kaoru too stand. Whinner then springboards off, nailing Kaoru with the Gold Medal Flash (Springboard shining wizard)! Winner covers, winning his return match despite Panthers best attempts.

Meltdown winner: Jimmy Winner

Winner stands up and gets a lot of cheers, only too be blindsided by The Red Panther, holding a chair. Panther nails Winner across the back off the head, sending him between the middle and top rope. Panther lifts the chair high and slams it across Winners back before kicking him too the floor. His message clear, Panther steps over Kaoru and leaves as Winner is attended too.

(Post match by TRP)

[Jonny Spade]

OTA Segment: Don’t get mad…get even…well getting mad is ok I suppose (Credit: Jonny Spade)

The scene opens up to Jonny Spade and Damien driving late at night driving in a mid-sized sedan. After a little bit of driving Jonny pulls into a driveway of a house.

Jonny: Here we are.

Damien: Where are we?

Jonny: Here.

Damien: Where’s here?

Jonny: Where we are? Jeeze Damien, you and your stupid questions.

Damien: *sigh* Whose house is this?

Jonny: Ah, that’s what you meant. Gooey is staying here now that he is employed with ACW.

Damien: And these paintball guns are for? …..

Jonny: Why revenge of course.

Damien: Gotcha.

The two of them get out of the car and Damien hands Jonny a paintball gun as the two of them make their way to the back of the house and come up to a door.

Damien: Do you know how to pick a lock?

Jonny: No…do you?

Damien shakes his head.

Jonny: *shrugs* Oh well.

Jonny kicks the door with his foot and the door flies open on its hinges putting them in the kitchen, the two enter the house and immediately footsteps are heard coming to their direction. The light switch flicks on and Gooey is seen in track pants and a white t-shirt.

Gooey: OH SHIT!

The two of them open up with their paintball guns and aim at Gooey and all around the kitchen. Gooey is riddled with paintballs but makes a run for it through his house. Jonny and Damien quickly follow staying close together to cover all angles of the house. Gooey begins running looking for places to hide and finds none, so he makes a great dash for a nearby window and dives out the window and onto the lawn and makes a quick getaway on foot, Jonny Damien laugh at each other as this chapter comes to a close.

[Jonny Spade]

Segment: Grand Theft Panther (Credit: The Red Panther)

Our scene is the ACW car park. The lights laminates the concrete walls and inside are many cars, most of lower level employees as most wrestlers fly in or have a chafer, but some like too drive themselves. One of these is Jimmy Winner, who loves his car more than anything. In the parking lot is The Red Panther and it is clear what he is doing. He looks around and then spots a car in the middle of the lot. He walks toward it and laughs. Instead of describing the car (which is obviously Winners), I will give you a picture:



Yep, Winner drives an old school pimp mobile. Panther jumps over the door, landing in the seat. He reaches under the steering wheel and fiddles around until there is a click and the car starts. Panther begins to drive off as the camera man jumps into the passenger seat.

Panther: Heh, at least the audience gets too see me trash this losers car. Jimmy Winner, if you are watching, which you will be seeing how you spend every night at home alone, you started this shit with me, so I have to finish it. Now I would rather be winning the world title at this moment, so I decided "hey, why not have some fun with his car", which is why I'm driving your car at the moment. Nice little ride you have here Jimmy, I would never have found it if it were not from a tip off by a fan called "RIME JIM WYNN ". Good too see Indians watch ACW.

During this time Panther has driven onto a motorway. Speeding up he pulls out a cell phone. Panther taps in a number as the GPS (which Panther turned on while talking) chirps "Two minutes to destination". The phone rings before being picked up.

Panther: Hello Jimmy Winner, you have won the Italian lottery. Your reward is too have your vintage car trashed by ACW star The Red Panther!

Jimmy Winner: Panther? Oh come on, can't you just calm down. Jimmy Winner feels there may be repercussions for your actions.

Panther: Repercussions? What are you gonna do, call the X-men? Haha.

Jimmy Winner: Fine, do it, Jimmy Winner does not mind.

Panther: Reverse physiology? Don't make me laugh. Stay and listen.

Panther has put his foot down, clearly going too fast. The GPS shows him as being very near his destination. Panther drops the phone on camera guys lap as he pulls off the road, smashing through the door of an old warehouse as the car enters a more industrial area.

Panther: Hey man, do me a favor.

The car goes through the middle of the warehouse, between crates. The car comes out the other side of the warehouse, smashing through another wall. Back on a narrow road, Panther opens his door, ahead a large red tank with "Danger! Explosive" on it.

Panther: BAIL!

Panther and camera guy roll out, camera guy holding the phone. The car explodes as it hits the tank, causing Panther to dive away behind a container and camera guy too drop too the concrete. Panther comes out from behind the container he rolled behind, camera guy with a piece of shrapnel in his arm still holding the phone and groaning.

Panther: Gimme the phone drama queen.

Panther grabs the phone and laughs down it.

Panther: Did you hear that? That was your car blowing into a million pieces.

Winner simply laughs at Panther.

Jimmy Winner: RIME JIM WYNN? How dumb are you. Rearrange it and you will find out who really gave you that tip. Jimmy Winner did. Can you see those shiny bits? Those are pieces of your classic CD and record collection, the collection you have spent over one hundred thousand dollars on! Signed copy of "The Big Payback" by James Brown? Gone. A limited recording of Elvis before he was famous, signed by The King himself? Jimmy Winner destroyed it. The car? That was paid for by ACW. So in total you have lost 100,000 dollars in collectibles and I have lost..... The CD I left in there, totaling fifteen dollars. Have fun Panther, Jimmy Winner has.

Jimmy hangs up, prompting Panther to throw the phone into the wall and stomp it as we fade out.

[Jonny Spade]

Match 2: Marvellous "Mickey Martin" vs. Jeff James

Will be posted once recieved.

[Jonny Spade]

Segment: I started this ten minutes ago. I didn't proof-read. Can you tell? (Credit: Freeman)

Secondary Segment title: Me fail english? Thats unpossible! (Title credit: Spade)

The camera fades in to Ginger's office. Ginger is discussing business matters with his secretary, Chloe Roberts, when all of a sudden the door to springs open with a bang, and as Ginger looks up from his desk startled, Jason Freeman storms in.

Ginger: What d---

Freeman: SHUT UP! DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED ON WARFARE THIS WEEK, GINGER?! DID YOU?!

Freeman has his lead pipe in hand, and he does not look happy. He in fact, looks slightly deranged. Dave Shadow cost him his match against Kalb, and as a result Freeman is no longer in the Emperor of the Ring tournament. He obviously has not taken this well.

Ginger: Yes, Freeman I saw what happened.

Freeman: OH GOOD! THEN WHAT YOU SAW WAS THAT MY CHANCE TO BECOME THE WORLD CHAMPION WAS ROBBED FROM ME! IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, GINGER, I’M NOT EXACTLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT! THAT WAS MY TIME! THAT TOURNAMENT WAS MINE! MINE, GINGER! MINE!

Ginger: Freeman, let’s calm down here…put the pipe down.

Freeman: What are YOU going to do about it?! Because I know what IM going to do if you don’t listen to me right now! I DEMAND that you put me back into this tournament. Kalb was seconds away from being FINISHED. Not only was there lax security that allowed somebody to get involved in MY match, but there was INNEFICIENT officials, as that referee was unable to catch Dave Shadow and DISQUALIF Y Kalb. I will not allow myself to be taken out of a tournament, because of YOUR employees being inadequate! Give me another match against Kalb, make tonight’s tournament match a triple threat…I don’t care. Just. PUT. ME. BACK. IN!

Freeman raises the pipe up again, and the look in his eyes is crazy. Clearly, he is completely irrational right now, and he is clearly very dangerous as well. Ginger shows a bit of apprehension on his face. He doesn’t want to cave in, but at the same time, he knows that if he doesn’t act carefully he may set Freeman off. He will not stand for this behavior, but at the moment, he had to be sure to calm him down.

Freeman: I’m waiting for an answer!

Ginger: Well, Freeman, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Freeman: OH, but you CAN! Because you’re the chairman around here are you not?! What you say goes. This tournament was my chance. I did everything right, and the only thing that cost me was that damn Dave Shadow. I WILL win that world championship Ginger, and I will NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO LOSE THIS CHANCE.

Ginger: As far as I’m concerned the decision is final, Freeman. In the record books, Kalb defeated you, and so you are out of the tournament.

Freeman: Oh, pulling for Shadow are we? Worried that if I was put back into the tournament I’d barge my way through to the finals, and knock him right out? Well, let me tell you this. I’ll make you a little proposition. No, an ultimatum. You don’t want to put me back in the tournament? Well, I’ll do the next best thing. I’ll end Dave Shadow. What YOU are going to do is give me what I’ve asked for. Something Dave Shadow has denied me. An International Title match. But not just an International Title match. A no holds barred match. Me against Shadow this Monday on Warfare. And not only am I going to take his title but I am going to put him out of action forever. If you deny this request, then I will not only find him and put him out of action regardless, but I shall personally go and make sure that every single superstar who is currently still in this Emperor of the Ring tournament JOINS him. And then we will see who is truly on top. So Ginger, what’s it going to be? Give me Shadow, Ginger. And then we shall discuss the matters of any future title shots.

Ginger: Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to?!

Freeman: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO?!

Freeman takes a deep breath, and glares at Ginger, before forcing his mouth into a very forced smirk.

Freeman: Now, then, maybe we can talk diplomatically. Perhaps an – unbiased – opinion shall be in order here. I wonder what your secretary thinks of the matter.

Chloe looks up at Freeman, and sees the look in his eyes. He is looking at her with a clear implication in his eyes, and his smirk suddenly gets a bit more genuine.

Ginger: I am SURE that Chloe will agree that---

Chloe: Actually…well…with all due respect, perhaps it…would be a good move to give him this match.

Ginger: It…would?

Chloe: Well…I mean, it would bring ratings and…that if a lot of viewers tune in to that Warfare…they may be encouraged to purchase Emperor of the Ring. Speaking…financially of course.

A brief staredown between Freeman and Chloe, before Freeman turns his head back to Ginger.

Freeman: So you see, perhaps this is the best move for all of us.

Ginger: You know what, Freeman?! Fine. Have your way. No holds barred next week. For the International Championship. And don’t think I’m giving in to you. We both know very well that even once you finish with Shadow, you intend to ensure that you deal with whoever advances in Emperor of the Ring regardless. The thing is, however, that I know that you WON’T take out Shadow. I could suspend you right now, but I know that you’d find a way to make me regret it. Well, now I’ll punish you in a much more effective way. Dave Shadow is going to make sure that YOU, Freeman, suffer. So get ready for Monday, Freeman. We’ll see who’s on top then.

Freeman: Indeed we will, Ginger. Indeed we will.

And Freeman turns, and as swiftly as he came in, he storms out, leaving Ginger and Chloe to go back to their work, and the camera fades.

[Jonny Spade]

Segment save just in case.

[Jonny Spade]

Benny Hill Theme
Dan White, Thunder Train

The camera opens up in the backstage area, where we see The Royles going up through some of the many confusing corridors that behold the ACW arena. Their goal is to find Thunder Train, and take him back to Dan White, as a form of a trophy. Or something like that. And they come up to a fork in the road (who knew?!). The duo look at each other, and then look at the signs at the fork.

Pat McGroin: The gym, or the cafeteria?

...

Ivor Biggin & Pat McGroin: The cafeteria.

The Royles pause for a while, before Biggin butts up.

Ivor Biggin: We should probably take one each. I mean all we have to do is lead him to the other. It's not going to be hard to distract him, and lead him all the way to the gym. So I reckon since you're the lighter one, you should lead him to the gym, got it? Good.

Pat McGroin: Yeah oka-wait, WHAT?! I didn't agree to that!

But he's too late, as Biggin has made it down the corridor towards the gym.

Ivor Biggin: See you later, boyo!

McGroin sighs heavily, placing his hands on his hips. He knows that he's agile and quick enough to avoid getting in trouble with Train, but he still doesn't fancy being the bait in this scheme. Regardless, he grudgingly makes his way down the hallway mumbling to himself, as yet another one of those fucking “Don't Try This At Grandma's House Either” ads come on.


**************************************************************************************************

We fade back in to the cafeteria, where Pat McGroin has opened the door, and is surprised to see nobody at all sitting around, at least nobody noticeable. The Welshman looks pretty perplexed, as he heads towards the cook.

Cook: Hey, what'll it be?

The cook speaks with a New York accent, not that that's relevant. I bet you lot didn't know that The Royles speak with a thick Welsh accent either. You tarts.

Pat McGroin: Erm, I suppose I can have a bowl of spaghetti bolognese.

Cook: No can do.

Pat McGroin: Oh, okay then....what about lasagne?

Seems he's got an eye for Italian food tonight.

Cook: Sorry, we don't have any of that left either.

Pat McGroin: Hmm, what do you have?

The cook quickly scans his trays, and comes up with an answer.

Cook: All we have is ratatouille.

Pat McGroin: Ah, excellent, a true Welsh broth! Fix me up sir.

The cook takes a bowl out, and provides McGroin with a brimful of the vegetarian mix. McGroin takes a spoon and samples some, reacting as though he's just tasted heaven.

Pat McGroin: Ahh, just like my auntie Arwydd from Pontypridd used to make it. So how come you've got no food? The night's still young.

Cook: Next batch is up. Thunder Train came along and had his feast. He normally has some before he goes to do some weights.

Pat McGroin: I never even knew he did weights...Oh FUCK!!!

Meanwhile, at the gym...

Ivor Biggin: Haha, as if that clueless fuck ended up in the cafeteria.

He enters the doors, and is greeted with an unwelcome surprise.

Ivor Biggin: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU

!-=-THUMP-=-!

Biggin runs straight into Train's fist, slumping to the floor. Train shakes his fist a tad, before smirking at the fallen Royle.

Thunder Train: Looks like we can have some fun with this! Heh heh...

Oh lord....

Fade out.

[Jonny Spade]

Match 3: Jack Jefferson vs. Anthony Kalb - EOTR Semi Final

Will be posted once recieved but Jack wins due to existing unless he feels like pulling a Freeman and losing to a NPC.

[Jonny Spade]

A Little Interview

[/color]
Credit: VorteX / Shadow[/center]

The camera cuts to the backstage area where Vortex is doing what he normally does during shows—roaming the hallways. As he does this, he thinks about his match later tonight with Dave Shadow. The match is important for a number of reasons, it is already pre-hyped because both men are titleholders, it is for advancement in the EOTR tournament, and most importantly…

Kevin: MAIN EVENT!

Vortex is actually surprised this time as Kevin pops out of…the ceiling. If you, the reader are not jumping out of your chair in shock right now, imagine if YOU are walking down a hallway when suddenly a wiry man with a very high-pitched voice pops out of the ceiling. Now...back to the interview.

Vortex: Well…that was clever.

Kevin picks himself up off the ground with a grunt and then straightens his clothing before continuing.

Kevin: I was looking for ‘awesome ways to surprise interviewees’ on Google, and this was among the top ranked way. It does a number on your back though…

Vortex: I would imagine. At least we know ACW’s ceiling tiles meet the desired weight capacity…

Kevin stares at Vortex for a moment trying to figure out what Vortex just said. After a few seconds, Kevin shakes his head and continues.

Kevin: Anyway, tonight is a big one is it not? It’s your first main event!

Vortex: That it is Kevin. I fully intend to make an impact also, as I AM the Entertainment Champion after all.

Kevin: Champ vs. Champ! Which one is better though?

Vortex: The Entertainment Championship, naturally. What the hell does International Title mean anyway?

Pretty much everyone in attendance ponders over this one.

Kevin: Uh…

Vortex: Exactly. It means nothing. At least the Entertainment Championship clearly shows that the one holding it is by far the most entertaining man in ACW. Shadow may love to cling on to that paperweight, however tonight I am going to show him that his arrogance cannot match up to my action.

Kevin: What about Freeman and Chris Phenomenal? Are you worried about their potential involvement in this match?

Vortex: Hell no I’m not worried about them. I ENCOURAGE them to come down to the ring and make this match a little more interesting. As it stands I’m going against the paper-weight champion of the world…while it’s an intriguing prospect to some…I prefer to see an all out brawl.

Vortex smiles broadly, and Kevin decides to state the obvious.

Kevin: But…you wouldn’t be involved. Phenomenal and Freeman are after Shadow…not you.

Suddenly Vortex lunges forward and grabs Kevin, his eyes intense.

Vortex: SHH! *in a whisper* Kevin…why take one down…WHEN YOU CAN TAKE THEM ALL DOWN?

Vortex throws Kevin backward and he stumbles into the wall, more than a bit surprised at Vortex’s sudden outburst.

Kevin: …What?

Vortex: If I just go out there and beat Shadow, then woo big deal. If Freeman and Phenomenal come down and I beat them all, stack them in a hill, and then stand on top of them waving like a prom queen…NOW THAT’S SOMETHING TO REMEMBER.

Blank…yet scared stare from Kevin.

Kevin: Well…good luck with that. Just watch out for the Shadow Step though, that’ll end your prom queen vision in a second.

Vortex looks downcast and Kevin goes to walk away. As he rounds the corner to an adjacent hallway he is met with a Shadow Step, courtesy of Dave Shadow. Both the sound of Kevin hitting the wall and Vortex screaming “YAY FOR PREDICTABILITY!” can be heard simultaneously. Shadow is seemingly in a very no-nonsense mood, and so he steps over Kevin, walks over to Vortex, and grabs him by the lapel, staring right into his eyes.

Vortex: Hi.

Dave: Don't give me "hi". I heard what you just said Vortex. About me being a paperweight champion and all that. Just who exactly do you think you are? Before you start running your mouth about being able to beat me, maybe you should actually think. Cause I'm already in a pretty bad mood at the moment, and the last thing you want to do before facing me in the ring is piss me off some more.

The two men lock eyes for a moment, Shadow with a look of pure intensity and Vortex…giggling like a schoolgirl.

Vortex: You do know, this is the first time we’ve actually talked. So let’s start over fresh shall we? My name is Vortex…

Shadow pulls Vortex closer.

Dave: You just don't get this, do you Vortex? You think I'm here in ACW to make friends? You think I give a damn if you like me? Tonight, you stand as an obstacle on my path towards destiny. You were the poor, unfortunate soul unlucky enough to be drawn against me in this competition. And thats why, tonight, I will have no choice but to leave you looking up at those bright arena lights. Because I refuse to let a puck ass rookie like you stop me from achieving destiny.

Vortex: Well..you know what they say. All talk and no play makes DIMITRIUS A DULL BOY!

Vortex throws out a lightning fast head butt that causes Shadow to release his hold and stumble backwards. Before he can react, Vortex is on top of him, throwing a flurry of punches. Shadow is definitely not someone that takes kindly to sudden attacks and throws Vortex off him violently. Somewhere in the arena, the crowd roars as the two men rise to their feet and lock eyes once more.

Dave: You little bitch.

Vortex lets out a screaming howl (unintelligible really…but sounds something like ‘here comes the avalanche’) and charges. Shadow is ready for this attack and sidesteps Vortex. As Vortex passes him, Shadow grabs his arm and sends him flying into the wall, which produces a very loud thump. Vortex slides down to a sitting position and looks to be out of it.

Dave: Don't waste your breath getting up. You're barely worth my time in a match, let alone in a brawl back here.

Shadow turns and goes to walk away, however Vortex is not exactly out of it yet. Another wild screams from Vortex and he charges at Shadow. Shadow spins, half-ready for the assault and…obviously someone has called security because they quickly catch Vortex in mid-lunge and hold him back. At the same time, they push Shadow back and Gingerdude steps in-between the men.

Gingerdude: Enough! I’m sure the fans are loving this, however I am not. You two are to cease this fighting immediately, and save it for the main event. Let’s put it this way…if you two incapacitate each other now, who is going to do the main event?

Vortex: Santa!

Both Gingerdude and Shadow simultaneously shoot Vortex a WTF look (although Shadow’s features are tainted with rage).

Gingerdude: That will be enough out of you. I want both of you to return to your locker rooms immediately, and cool off. After that you are to have no contact before the main event. If you do not follow these orders, you will most definitely NOT like the outcome.

With that, Gingerdude makes his exit. Security pushes both men in opposite directions, and as the camera fades out all are left to wonder what the main event holds in store for these two.

Fade.

[Jonny Spade]

Segment save just in case.

[Jonny Spade]

“THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD”
Credit: Thunderkiss

[The air in the hotel room is heavy, heavy with contempt of his present whereabouts. In seclusion he waits, waiting for the right time to make his next move. His enemy has not taken such an approach. Instead they have decided to come to him for a change and with a knock of a door they have done exactly that.]

Police Officer: Mr. Joseph?

Thunderkiss: Yeah? What is this?

Police Officer: A restraining order. You are to stay 100 feet away from the ACW Arena, it’s owner and any of its business operations, even if it is in another jurisdiction. This includes all shows and promotional events. Basically if it has an ACW logo on it, you stay away from it.

Thunderkiss: You gotta be kidding me. *Scoff* Welcome to our wonderful modern society where a piece of paper has more power over a man such as myself. This shit wouldn’t fly in the middle ages.

Police Officer: I know you don’t like this but I am telling you now, Gingerdude is not playing around. It was different when you were on their payroll, but he has made it quite clear to the local courts and authorities that he wants you off his island and his will be done. Let’s not kid ourselves, when it comes down to it, ACW is over ninety percent of this island’s economy. Every robe and badge wearer is going to be in his corner.

Thunderkiss: Money talks.

Police Officer: Doesn’t it always. My best advice is to just leave. Whatever vendetta you may have against Ginger, it is not worth going to jail over. Trust me, if you get caught, it won’t just be a little slap on the wrist. We are talking some serious time here. I’ve always had no problems with you and apparently a lot of others feel the way I do or you wouldn’t have been able to just waltz into the arena for the last few weeks. But at the end of the day we are all just average Joe’s and guys like Ginger sign our paychecks. Go home Kiss. Go home to your wife and kid.

[The police officer bids TK adieu and exits from where he came forth. Alone again, Thunderkiss is left to contemplate the officer’s advice. Revenge is a dish best served cold and with Winter right around the corner, the choice is crystal clear.]

Thunderkiss: I’m afraid I just can’t do that.

[FADE]

[Jonny Spade]

Segment: Brainstorming (Credit: Michael Smart)

The scene begins with a shot of a couch. Sitting on it are two people. One is Michael Smart, wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans, reading a newspaper. To his left is Daniel Smart, wearing a purple jacket, a green shirt under it and white jeans. He is resting his head on his right hand, his right elbow on his knee, staring right in front of him in deep thought. After a minute he lets out a sigh, raising his head and arms up to the air to stretch.

Daniel Smart: I give up!

Michael stops to take a quick glance at Daniel.

Michael Smart: You were doing something?

Daniel Smart: I was thinking of ways to get you more popular quickly.

Michael Smart: Again? Wouldn't a better plan be to just let me show my talents in the ring?

Daniel Smart: Well, first off, you haven't had a match in a week. B, that's not as fast as I'd like. Three I's like in the roman numbers, that's a boring way to get fame. I want something more original and memorable.

Michael Smart: I see.

Michael turns the page. Daniel starts rubbing his temples.

Daniel Smart: Come on brains, think faster!

This goes on for a bit. Suddenly Daniel jumps up.

Daniel Smart: Eureka!

Michael looks up.

Daniel Smart: We make a multi-part documentary about your early life!

Michael Smart: We already tried that, it flopped.

Michael goes back to reading the newspaper. Daniel looks at the ground, trying to think of something else. Suddenly his eyes light up.

Daniel Smart: Now I know! We have a talk show!

Michael doesn't bother lifting his eyes off the paper this time.

Michael Smart: Did that too, the only guest was an actor you hired.

Daniel Smart: Oh yeah.

Daniel sits back down, letting out another sigh.

Daniel Smart: I guess I'm starting to run out of ideas...

Michael Smart: I'm sure you'll figure something out.

Daniel Smart: You think so?

Michael Smart: I've known you since you were little, and if there's one thing I can count on, it's that you'll always get a wacky idea brewing in your head sooner or later.

Daniel Smart: Aww, thanks cousin!

Michael Smart: I'm just telling the truth.

Daniel Smart: Well, guess I'll get back to... OOH! I GOT IT!

Daniel jumps up again. This time Michael raises his gaze, looking at Daniel with a surprised expression.

Daniel Smart: We make fun of Dave Shadow by bringing in a leprechaun!

Michael narrows his eyes, staring at Daniel.

Michael Smart: That's a horrible idea.

Daniel Smart: Oh, don't be so negative! It would be awesome! We could make him give us a pot of gold, prepare a ton of Lucky Charm-puns, chase after him all around the...

As Daniel keeps explaining his idea to Michael, the scene fades to black.