Post by El Shadowo on Aug 10, 2009 14:35:23 GMT -5
I'm posting this in here since in a way, it is a conflict which needs resolving. It's just an internal conflict. Excuse me for ranting on a bit here, but I feel the need to write up about how I’m feeling ACW-wise at the moment, cause truth be told, I’ve been in a weird mood. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still enjoying writing, and this isn’t meant to be some sort of statement that I’m about to leave ACW. When I joined, I did so with the intentions of seeing just how far I could get in a fed where the bookers/match-deciders didn’t owe me anything and had no prior bias. That’s still my intention. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that the World Title is my goal here in ACW, and that I want to get my hands on it
At the same time, I feel like ACW is taking up a hefty portion of my time at the moment. Trying to write four segs, twice a week can be exhausting. And while it’s fun and while I enjoy it, there is a part of me feeling am I doing the right thing. I've always justified writing in ACW by saying I'm entertaining others with my stuff. Feedback, both postivie and negative shows that at least people have take the time to read my work. Hell, I'll settle for "good show!" But even that has dwindled in recent weeks. Whereas pre-OE, we were getting pages of feedback, now we're lucky if we get any sorts of comments.
I know though I cant really chastise people for that though. I'll be the first to admit I dont read everyone's work. I do read a few segs per shows, usually the ones that catch my attention. But it would be extremely hypocritical of me to start demanding feedback when truth be told, I'm not willing to offer any myself. It's just frustrating. Case and point, I don't think that I got a word of feedback about the "Life on Mercury" story (which I was proud of) other than from Chris. And the attack angle seems to be drifting by a lot of people, because the only people who have really mentioned it to me are the people directly involved. I'm not writing for me; if the stories were for me, I'd keep them in my head. I have a vivid imagination and don't need the pain that I feel in my fingers everytime I sit down just to keep myself amused.
And by typing that, I now feel hypocritical >_<
There is more to why I'm feeling weird at the moment though.
*A few days ago, I got a letter from the Irish Film Board, rejecting my latest proposal. And I mean violently rejecting. Compared to last years feedback, I was basically told my story had zero appealing characteristics. So my writing confidence is a tad knocked at the moment.
*As I mentioned to a few people before, I want to write a book. I have the story, which has gotten amazing feedback from various groups (the IFB included; its only after seeing how vicious they can be in their rejections that I realise how good the first story must be). But because I have to write 8 segs a week, I have no time to actually sit down and write it. I've always justified prioitising ACW over it since ACW was instant gratification for my work while the book could fall flat on its arse and fail. But, as I said above, the instant gratification is more or less gone.
*I'm also trying to get involved in the college newspaper this year, but again find my time being eaten up by the ACW schedule.
* I start my H.Dip in September, which means my college time increases from 3 days a week last year to 5 9-5 days this year, not including college work and correction of homework. At the same time, every year I see people quit efeds in Sept thinking their work load is going to be too much and come October, they come running back. But I'm going to have a lot on my plate and I can't be adding more work on top that just stresses me out.
See, I think thats the problem. ACW, as of late, is stressing me out. Maybe thats my problem though. I want to stress that this topic isn't meant to be a hit on ACW or anyone else here. I know alot of other people are giving it their all, and I've been having such a great time working with everyone. ACW is brilliant. It's why I joined up. This is my problem and ultimatly, I have to work through it. I have to find a way of moving this from stressful to fun again. But I wanted to post this topic, for me as much as anyone else. I'm not looking for sympathy, or charity feedback or a quick fix.
More, i think if I post this, it might motivate me cause I'll have admitted where my problem currently lies and with it identified, I can work to fix it. I can identify one problem that I can fix; my time management is a bit dodgy at the moment. But again, I want to stress, this is no one elses fault, nor do I want those who I am working with to worry about my determination to make our current angles absolutly magnificent, like I know they can be
But yeah, vent over. Thanks for taking the time to read a crazy guys ramblings.
At the same time, I feel like ACW is taking up a hefty portion of my time at the moment. Trying to write four segs, twice a week can be exhausting. And while it’s fun and while I enjoy it, there is a part of me feeling am I doing the right thing. I've always justified writing in ACW by saying I'm entertaining others with my stuff. Feedback, both postivie and negative shows that at least people have take the time to read my work. Hell, I'll settle for "good show!" But even that has dwindled in recent weeks. Whereas pre-OE, we were getting pages of feedback, now we're lucky if we get any sorts of comments.
I know though I cant really chastise people for that though. I'll be the first to admit I dont read everyone's work. I do read a few segs per shows, usually the ones that catch my attention. But it would be extremely hypocritical of me to start demanding feedback when truth be told, I'm not willing to offer any myself. It's just frustrating. Case and point, I don't think that I got a word of feedback about the "Life on Mercury" story (which I was proud of) other than from Chris. And the attack angle seems to be drifting by a lot of people, because the only people who have really mentioned it to me are the people directly involved. I'm not writing for me; if the stories were for me, I'd keep them in my head. I have a vivid imagination and don't need the pain that I feel in my fingers everytime I sit down just to keep myself amused.
And by typing that, I now feel hypocritical >_<
There is more to why I'm feeling weird at the moment though.
*A few days ago, I got a letter from the Irish Film Board, rejecting my latest proposal. And I mean violently rejecting. Compared to last years feedback, I was basically told my story had zero appealing characteristics. So my writing confidence is a tad knocked at the moment.
*As I mentioned to a few people before, I want to write a book. I have the story, which has gotten amazing feedback from various groups (the IFB included; its only after seeing how vicious they can be in their rejections that I realise how good the first story must be). But because I have to write 8 segs a week, I have no time to actually sit down and write it. I've always justified prioitising ACW over it since ACW was instant gratification for my work while the book could fall flat on its arse and fail. But, as I said above, the instant gratification is more or less gone.
*I'm also trying to get involved in the college newspaper this year, but again find my time being eaten up by the ACW schedule.
* I start my H.Dip in September, which means my college time increases from 3 days a week last year to 5 9-5 days this year, not including college work and correction of homework. At the same time, every year I see people quit efeds in Sept thinking their work load is going to be too much and come October, they come running back. But I'm going to have a lot on my plate and I can't be adding more work on top that just stresses me out.
See, I think thats the problem. ACW, as of late, is stressing me out. Maybe thats my problem though. I want to stress that this topic isn't meant to be a hit on ACW or anyone else here. I know alot of other people are giving it their all, and I've been having such a great time working with everyone. ACW is brilliant. It's why I joined up. This is my problem and ultimatly, I have to work through it. I have to find a way of moving this from stressful to fun again. But I wanted to post this topic, for me as much as anyone else. I'm not looking for sympathy, or charity feedback or a quick fix.
More, i think if I post this, it might motivate me cause I'll have admitted where my problem currently lies and with it identified, I can work to fix it. I can identify one problem that I can fix; my time management is a bit dodgy at the moment. But again, I want to stress, this is no one elses fault, nor do I want those who I am working with to worry about my determination to make our current angles absolutly magnificent, like I know they can be
But yeah, vent over. Thanks for taking the time to read a crazy guys ramblings.