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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:36:56 GMT -5
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Match 1: Baron Trotter vs. Douglass Ozzy
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Match 2: Andrew Starr vs. Jonny Spade
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Match 3: Danny Mainer and Lee Homicide vs. Chris Phenomenal and Rawt
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Match 4: Rena Matheson vs. Andrew Black
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Match 5: Hitman of the Gods vs. The Senator
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:52:39 GMT -5
Segment: Consequences and Repercussions Credit: Jake Steele
Before our show can properly kick off, before the pyros can go off, and before anyone barely has a chance to get in their seats, the Alphatron comes to life. The attention of the fans are caught, as they gaze upon the screen and see none other than Chairman Gingerdude standing in his office, not looking pleased at all. For obvious reasons he is upset, and it doesn’t help his mood to hear the rising boos throughout the crowd. Ignoring it to his best, he begins to speak and surely enough the people begin to listen.
Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] Ahem… thank you. I’m not going to parade around the obvious of why I am here before you all tonight, and rather I will cut straight to the chase. This past Monday, ACW saw it’s fifth year as an organization culminate. After an truly riveting show, and after an downright brutal Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, Jake Steele retained the World Heavyweight Championship. Following that match, your “honorable” champion went against otherwise ground rules and he proceeded to attack senior referee Ray Allen Fleming. Though that is not the worst part. After taking advantage of a thought to be done with steel cage, and brutally attacking Randy Dallas Kanyon, your champion proceeded to place RDK’s arm in between a chair, sandwiching it before he stomped it in - breaking RDK’s arm in the process. Not only does this action go against what should already be known, but it goes against a personal warning I gave to Jake Steele.
Chairman Gingerdude sighs to himself as those in the crowd brace for impact, expecting the worse to follow.
Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] Without it even needing to be said, the outcome of the actions performed by Jake Steele last week is a major blow to this company, as with only two weeks left before Omega Effect V, we have lost one of our biggest members of this roster. Because of this, there are many things I can do to punish Jake Steele. I could take his championship away, and ban him for the remainder of the month. I could restrict him from participating at Omega Effect V, thus resulting in a forfeit, which would hand the World Heavyweight Championship to Thunderkiss. Or, I could flat out release Jake Steele from his contract, and that would be that. I’m more than sure that I could find a man who is willing to compete for the highest prize in this business, on the biggest stage of them all against Thunderkiss.
While there are cheers that begin to rise in Thunderkiss’ favor, more converters to the Kiss Army who were downright disgusted by Jake Steele last week and no longer desire to chant his name, there are also the majority; those who plan to stick by his side without judgment and without properly hearing an explanation from the champion. Those ride or die fans hang onto every word, waiting for whatever will happen next.
Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] But, while I am able to do all of that. I have promised you all a main event for the biggest show of the year, and with certain people already making a mockery of me as a business man, I will not allow another main event - the true main event - to be tarnished. As well as that, I cannot afford to have another established member of the roster be taken off of the show with only weeks away. Therefore, Jake Steele will go unpunished for his actions. That is all.
…What? As confused as you may be right now, Chairman Gingerdude leaves with just that message to be said, as the feed cuts off. For he has other issues to tend to…
Fade
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:52:59 GMT -5
“PARKING PASS” Credit: Jake Steele, Thunderkiss [If one wanted to know the various relationships and classes in ACW all they need to do is walk through the arena parking garage. Here, they will find a complex system that mimics the lockeroom: stable parks with stable, friend with friend and foes are always separated by levels. Midcarders park on the bottom levels while Main Eventers claim the top and the most prized parking spot of them all belongs to only one man, the current ACW World Champion. Tonight, someone bucks the system In a blatant show of a disrespect, Thunderkiss pulls his Porche 911 into Jake Steele’s parking spot and then waits there for its owner to arrive. He doesn’t wait long. Arms folded across his chest, he stands in the highlights of Steele’s vehicle as if it were the spotlight. It is not his entrance music that greets him next but rather the sound of very irritated honking.] Jake Steele: Move that fucking car!Thunderkiss: Why should I? Last time I checked this is a free country and this is a free parking lot.Jake Steele: Because I’m the champ and that’s my stall bitch, fuck out of my way.Thunderkiss: I’ll tell you what, I will recognize this sign when I recognize the champ. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and move along.Jake Steele: If you ain’t going to move it then I’mma have to move the shit myself, dig? Thunderkiss: I’d rethink that if I were you. A young black man who is also a famous world champion moving near a Porsche 911? Yeah, the cops always LOVE that combination. Your jail picture will be hung on their wall like a trophy.Jake Steele: So you goin' to let the cops fight yo' battles? You a pussy dawg!Thunderkiss: I have no problem fighting competitors, it’s just the punks like yourself that I don’t waste my time with. Unfortunately for me, the standards of this place were lowered low enough for you to claim that belt while I was gone so If I want my title back, I’m going to have to do just that. So hey, If you get hauled to jail where you belong, it would save me some of my dignity. Jake Steele: You know what? Fuck this.[Jake slams down on the accelerator and speeds off to close the gap between Thunderkiss’ car and his own. He hits the breaks just as fast and leaves exactly one inch to spare between the two automobiles, bumper to bumper. With a cocky smirk he leaps out the door, throws his arms upwards and proclaims - ] Jake Steele: Well, now, looks to me if you want out of here you goin' to have to wait for THA CHAMP - and something tells me it’s going to be a long, long wait, cunt. And before you even think about touching my whip, I’d think twice son. I man, a white ass redneck who also is a famous steroid abuser near a CAR? Yeah, the cops always LOVE that combination. Yo' jail picture gonna be hung on they wall like a trophy.[Steele gives himself a mental high five and takes off towards the arena. While some may say turning his back on Thunderkiss is a not to wise move, Steele has no issues with it at all. He understands the mind game that TK is now engaged in and thus knows he will not be touched until Omega Effect. His comrades, well, that’s a different story entirely and before he is out of earshot the number 1 contender reminds him of such.] Thunderkiss: Do my eyes deceive me or is your fan club down a man tonight?Jake Steele *stopping in tracks*: Cut the shit, prick, I know you did it. Thunderkiss: Now, now. Don’t go around accusations you can’t prove. Fact is he could have slipped down those steps or even tripped over his own two feet. Word has it he was heavily under the influence, if you catch my drift.Jake Steele: He told me at the hospital you put a blunt out on his forehead and pushed him down the steps... Thunderkiss: Oh! .... Well now, I guess the cat is out of the bag, isn’t it?! Hah! [In the blink of an eye Thunderkiss goes from lackadaisical and joking to serious, making even a bipolar person proud.] Thunderkiss: I’m going to take from you, you son of a bitch, until there is nothing left to take. Just like what you did to me.Jake Steele: Yeah, you come with yo' warnings nigga. Keep on with those mindgames. 'Cause sooner or later, we'll see who the real mastermind is... and I know you can dig that. Holla![Having no more of this, Steele finishes his exit leaving Thunderkiss to stew in his discontent for the champion. His hate compels his hands to not remain idol and carry out the next part of his plan. With his cell phone it is set in motion; with his mouth the trap is laid.] Thunderkiss: Hey Train, I know where your sister is. Top of the show, the ring, meet me there.*ClicK*Thunderkiss: Don’t be late.[FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:53:29 GMT -5
Segment: A Belated Request (Credit: Senator)
---From the end of Monday's broadcast---
Senator: Well, I can understand the need to placate the people who bring us our revenue…but I have an idea that might indeed bring you even more.
Gingerdude: Couldn’t this wait? This is hardly a good time to speak of finances, at least let me cut off this live…
Senator: No! This is the perfect time! You see…we have the largest event of the year coming up, and while the pieces are falling into place, there is one major problem that needs to be addressed. And if I do say so myself, I might have just the solution that you are looking for…
--- At this point, the feed cut out, depriving the ACW public from hearing the rest of the conversation...but thankfully, the cameras kept recording after the show went off the air, and as such, here's...the rest of the story. ---
Senator: And if I do say so myself, I might have just the solution that you are looking for...that is, I believe your main event is decidedly lacking in substance.
Ginger: Look, I know you feel I shortchanged you, but...
Senator: Please, we are off the air now, as the red light there indicates, so we have time to work this through. I feel that while you have a gigantic dunderheaded power brawler in Thunderkiss and an idiotic, athletic brawler in Jake Steele, these two individuals by themselves could perhaps headline a lesser pay per view, but not Omega Effect, and certainly not Omega Effect V.
Ginger: I knew it...Phillips, do exit my office, promptly, I hardly have the time to...
Senator: Hear me out! You need someone who can deliver the match of the night, you need someone who has constantly stolen the show at Omega Effect, every year of the event, you need an individual in that match who can perform at a higher level, who has proven to have done so before, and who can leave the fans walking away knowing that they saw a war, an intelligently waged war, at that! Thunderkiss, Jake Steele, they can give you a good match, but not a great match!
Ginger: They are both marquee names, proven merchandise sellers, and furthermore, each earned his way into this main event. You have not. Good night.
Senator: I refuse to leave until you hear out my entire argument!
Ginger: And that could go well into the morning, knowing your rhetorical aptitude. I don't care to hear you waste my time any further.
Senator: Please, I am begging you, give me a chance to enter into this contest, you will not regret such an action!
Ginger: My word is final.
Senator: But does it need to be? You must find some way to give me a chance here, otherwise, you will...
Ginger: Enough already! Steve Phillips, if you are so desparate, I will create a set of terms in which you may enter the match.
Senator: Excellent, that is exactly...
Ginger: Wait. You might not like these terms. In fact, I find it highly unlikely that you will find your way into this match, for, to do so, you must...gain the consent of both Thunderkiss and Jake Steele for your entry. If they both agree that you can fight for the title as well, then I will write you into the match, but if either declines, then you are out of luck.
Senator: And a slim chance is better than none. Thank you for doing a marvelous job, Mr. Chairman, and when I do find my way into this match, you will see the financial...
Ginger: You got your wish, now depart. I really DO have things to do...
Fade Out
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:53:46 GMT -5
===================== ACW Entertainment Challenge III.
Chris Phenomenal ===================== ACW Monday Night Warfare returns to air as the camera zooms in on the entrance ramp as Simply Phenomenal hits the arena and the crowd gets up with a mixed reaction.Superman Dat Hoe! With that Chris Phenomenal emerges at the top of the entrance ramp smiling and makes his way down to the ring. Getting their he grabs the microphone from Phillip Jones and drapes the Entertainment title belt over his shoulder.Chris Phenomenal: Ladies and Gentleman, on Monday we didn’t have as good of a showing as I would have liked. The fact that only VorteX came out leaves me a little disappointed in the people I hand picked to participate in this Entertainment Challenge. Never the less, like Diana Ross we will survive and tonight I think we have some really entertaining stuff going on, as we show the videos of the blind dates our contestants went on last night. Now I have yet to see the footage, and I don’t know who turned in a tape at all, so I’m just as anxious as you are. However first as mandated by the rules I set out, have to share with you all our present scoreboard.Name | Andrew Black | VorteX | Yuki Satoshi | Mickey Flamingo | Ashton Kutcher | Pie Eating Contest | 3 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 1 | Midget Wrestling | 0 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 1 | | - | - | - | - | - | | - | - | - | - | - |
Chris Phenomenal: Now I’m as anxious as you are to see what happened out their dates, so in honor of our fallen comrade, Macho Man RDK, will the jabroni’s in the back, donka donka their asses on over to the video player and show the footage.Chris Phenomenal: Well that was quite impressive from Ashton Kutcher, amazing though how it was his wife on the date, and there was August 2003 on the video itself.The crowd boos the less than steller peformance of Ashton Kutcher who’s heart seemingly isn’t in the entire Entertainment Cup.Chris Phenomenal: Let’s hope that the rest of our competitors didn’t skirt the rules and actually used the footage they were supposed to. So, role the rest of the footage.With that the focus turns back to the alpha tron as the other video clips play.*note to Senny. This segment carries over once all the other ones are done, and finishes off after them, they aren’t really two separate segments*
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:54:39 GMT -5
Out on the Town (Part I) [/color] Credit: VorteX [/center] Dressed from head to toe in black suede, Vortex struts down one of the more posh avenues in town. Tonight, things had to go right. For the past few weeks Vortex’s ACW career has been made a living hell by multiple people, some for reasons he still doesn’t understand, and others for a shot at gold. After eating laxative-laced pies, wrestling a midget, and more or less dealing with total idiots, something had to go right.
In the distance, flashing neon lights can be seen. Chris Phenomenal has set Vortex up on a date at the most upscale restaurant in the area. As Vortex gets closer to the establishment, he can read emblazoned in soothing blue neon:Pierres: We are better than you areThat’s right, the pompous nature of the sign fits the surroundings…which are complete with blue smoke filtering lazily out of a shining metallic revolving door. Vortex continues to stroll towards the building, and comes to an intersection. Choosing to be a good citizen, Vortex uses the crosswalk, continuing to gaze up at the high-class establishment as he crosses. Leaning against the building is a stunningly attractive woman, with long raven colored hair and wearing a tight fitting black dress. Forgetting where he is, Vortex stops for a moment and looks at the woman, he is stopped not only by her beauty, but also by the fact that he knows her. How he knows her isn’t clear, yet he has interacted with the woman before.Vortex can only hope that this is his date for the evening, however knowing Phenomenal this situation has to be too good to be true. Intending to find out more, Vortex starts to walk toward the building once mo…..SCREEEEEEEECH!!! *BAM*!Lights, sounds, and pain all fly around in one catastrophic moment, as Vortex is thrown ten or fifteen feet off of the crosswalk and into the road. Vortex can only wish he were still dreaming about that woman, instead of lying in a heap on the warm pavement.
The pain was intense, however something else bothered him…the sounds of Queen. “We are the Champions,” blared from somewhere nearby, yes from the car that had just t-boned him. With effort, Vortex rolls over, looks at the car, and sees no one in the driver’s seat. From the stories Abel has told him a car without a driver is hardly farfetched in Vortex’s mind these days, however he has a great feeling that the car did have a driver and that he was hit on purpose. ??: Like the taste of metal bitch?! That voice…that annoying squeal. Vortex climbs to one knee and looks over at the source of that voice, and the flaming red afro that accompanies it. “Super Bad” Tad Johnson was back for revenge, and he came prepared. Vortex: Where the hell did you learn how to drive?[/color] Tad: FROM YOUR MOM! Bad joke after bad joke…this guy just didn’t stop. Shaking his head, Vortex rises with a grunt to his feet and looks at Tad. As of now, Vortex was in a dilemma. The police would inevitably be called soon, so grinding Tad’s face into the pavement wasn’t an option at this point. He had to get Tad out of here and fast, or face being disqualified from this Entertainment Challenge, which could affect his title shot. Vortex: Alright, you got me. Now could you get out of here? I have a ‘date’ to go on. [/color] Tad: After what you did to me? You’re not going on that date, what you are going to do is send ME on it. Vortex: I highly doubt you’ll pass for me. Other than the height issue, you’re not dressed for the occasion. [/color] Instead of the usual disco outfit, Tad was dressed head to toe in purple leather. The top of his ensemble consisted of a purple leather jacket, which was open in the front, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Thus, red hair billowed out of the front of the jacket, creating what looked like an epic battle between Ronald McDonald and Grimace.Tad: These duds were $200! Vortex: Well that’s only $3800 less than what my outfit cost me, however it’s not going to cut the bill for this place. [/color] Tad: Alright, alright! Since I hit you with the car, I say we’re even. So if you get me in that place somehow, I’ll owe you a favor! Vortex: Why do you want to go in there so bad? The only things you’ll find are overpriced food and stuck up asses. [/color] Tad: Speaking of asses, did you see what was standing outside the building? I’m going to get FRESH with that! It all made sense now. Tad was after nothing more than a beautiful woman, one which he could not possibly hope to ‘get fresh’ with. The possibility of Tad in a high-class restaurant was beyond amusing, however Vortex could not figure out when he would ever need Tad for a favor. Always the opportunist, Vortex accepted Tad’s offer.Vortex: Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll ever need your help, however I’ll get you in. [/color] Tad: YESSS! I’ll go park my car and pop some Altoids! Off he went. A couple of questions remained in Vortex’s mind, the biggest being why he offered to get Tad in the restaurant. Maybe it was head trauma, he had just been hit with a lemon yellow 80’s style Beetle after all. While watching that same car speed off into a nearby parking lot, the thought of how he would actually get Tad in the restaurant sprang into Vortex’s mind. As Vortex walked towards the establishment once more, he formed a plan.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:55:33 GMT -5
I Refuse To Entertain - ACW Entertainment Cup Blind Date With The Enemy Credit: Andrew Black and Rena
Today’s challenge: Blind date. Now for those of you who don’t remember, there was a hint of a relationship that was previewed last month. Unfortunetly, you all aren’t ready for that storyline. Andrew Black sits impatiently at a nice bistro, waiting on his blind pre-Meltdown lunch date. Andrew Black: No way… Through the door walks ACW Superstar Rena Matheson. The vixen not only happens to be Black’s blind lunch date but his opponent during tonight’s Meltdown. The waiter bring Rena halfway to the table before she sees Andrew, who has already seen her. She sighes and continue to the table. The host shows her the table ad Andrew gets up and helps Rena into her seat before sitting back down himself. So good so far… Rena: So before this goes any farther, is this legal? Andrew Black: What? Rena: Like, this isn’t going to be a “How to Catch a Predator” moment? Like Chris Hansen isn’t going to pop- Andrew Black: What the fuck are you talking about? Rena: My my, quite the mouth on you. Andrew Black: This was a great idea. I cannot wait to kick your ass in the ring tonight. Rena: Wow, what a gentleman! You really know how to treat a woman. Andrew Black: I do. And I know how to treat….you. Rena: I didn’t expect to be on a date with a boy. Andrew Black: Excuse me? Rena: Legally you might be considered a man, but in the place where it matters, you are still a boy. Andrew Black: Which is why you date steroid shooting wrestlers. Large muscles, tiny penis. Speaking of which, if you are dating Bryce, what are you doing here? Rena: I don’t think that is any of your business. Andrew Black: Well, you are going to have to explain yourself anyway, so this should be fun. That isn’t the waiter standing at our table to take our drink orders; it’s Bryce. The superstar is red in the face as Andrew Black just stares at him and smiles smugly. Rena, with the knowledge of who is at their table, grabs Andrew's hand and begins to laugh loudly. Rena: Oh, Andrew ... you're just so hilarious. Andrew Black: Rena: And your muscles ... I don't usually go for the younger guys, but I think I can make an exception ... Andrew Black: Rena: Oh, Bryce. Well, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be staring at yourself in a mirror? Andrew Black: I ... take it you aren't dating him ... Without any words, Bryce stomps away from the table and exited as soon as possible. Rena smiled maliciously towards the door and then threw Andrew's hand away from her grasp. Rena: You seriously disgust me, child. I shall be going now. Before Andrew could say one word back, Rena had gathered her thanls and split. Andrew shrugs and looks back at menu, hoping that out of all this can come a good meal.
Fade to Black
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:57:05 GMT -5
Out on the Town (Part II) [/color] Credit: VorteX [/center] Smooth Jazz fluttered through the air as Vortex neared the doors of Pierre’s. Outside the revolving metal doors stood two bouncers, as large and fit as stone boulders. As Vortex came to a stop in front of them, he could smell a strong aftershave on the pair, and could see a stern look in their eyes. Bouncer: Name???: TAD! Tad Johnson! The three men looked downward at the now breathless Tad. Apparently, after parking his car Tad ran all the way over to the establishment in excitement, and now was sweating bullets.Bouncer: What is this, some kind of joke? Vortex: I can explain…[/color] Bouncer: First, I want your name. Vortex: Dimitrius Osbourne. [/color] The bouncer scans his list of names and near the bottom locates Vortex’s name. Apparently, Chris had to register his legal name instead of his wrestling alias due to the nature of the establishment.Bouncer: Alright, I see your name on the list. There’s only one name though, so you’re vertically challenged friend has to go. Tad shoots Vortex a panicked look and Vortex smirks back. Vortex: He’s from Make a Wish. [/color] Bouncer: What? Vortex: If you haven’t figured it out already, I wrestle for ACW. This little guy is a big fan of both ACW and me, and one of his last wishes was to go out on the town with me. So here we stand today, ready to go to dinner. You wouldn’t want to anger Make a Wish would you? [/color] Tad starts giggling, and Vortex reaches around and quickly grabs a handful of fro to silence the man. Tad gets the hint and switches his laughing for crying. Ever the supreme actor, Tad is able to force a few tears to sell the situation further.Bouncer: Alright, just this once. The bouncers move out of the way, and both men walk into the establishment. A lazy aura fills the air and the men are immediately basked in shades of blue and indigo lighting. The restaurant is filled with high-class people in million-dollar attire, and world-class waiters buzz around like worker bees on errand for the Queen. The pair walk over to the receptionist and repeat the same spiel that got them into the restaurant, and then are led to their table. Tad: You really think Phenomenal set you up with that vixen? Vortex: Probably not. [/color] Vortex can barely complete his sentence before Tad starts making a scene, pointing at their destination table. Seated behind it was possibly the ugliest ‘thing’ to ever set foot upon the earth. Dressed in a pink top and as much makeup as possible, a woman that appeared to be in her early 70’s sat at the table. Short brown hair and a shovel face completed the picture, and Vortex had to do everything in his power to hold back his involuntary gag reflex.Tad: JESUS! WHAT THE FUC…. Hand over mouth. Vortex: Language! [/color] Tad: BU..DWATS…FWUKING WFFLE LKING! Vortex once again takes hold of the fro and yanks hard. Tad again gets the point, however he cannot erase the bug eyed look on his face. The two men near the table and take a seat opposite the beast woman.??: *hack* Didn’t know I’d be getting a two-for-one deal tonight. Vortex: The names Dimitrius…and this is Tad, he’s from Make a Wish. [/color] ??: Yeah, and I’m Jessica Alba. Clearly, the woman wasn’t buying the sob story that got Tad in here in the first place. Vortex laughs and then addresses the woman once more.Vortex: May I ask your name? [/color] ??: Ursula. Ursula Florgeingdardorf. Yeah, the names as ugly as I am. At least the woman had a sense of humor, with that face…Tad: You know you could star in horror movies! Another “WTF” look from Vortex. He would reprimand Tad again, however he felt no need to. Since he had successfully shown up for the date, he could no longer be disqualified from the challenge. Vortex wished nothing more than to have a little fun, and that is exactly what he was in for.Ursula: *cough* Wonderful. Where the hell did you come from, a Gary Coleman funded Strip Club? Tad: Nice guess! It’s not Gary Coleman funded, but the joint is high class. People throw $2 bills there instead of $1’s! Ursula: Well if there’s one thing I don’t have its Gonorrhea, however by tonight’s end you can probably add that to my list of beautiful qualities. *cough* Vortex loved every minute of this. The woman obviously had a bad chain-smoking problem, as in the course of the few minutes they were around her she went through three cigarettes. At that moment, a waiter appeared to take their order. The man looked utterly disgusted at seeing the Ursula/Tad combo, yet he persevered. Waiter: Can I start you off with one of our specials? Tad: Three beers! Ursula: Yeah, that sounds good. *cough* I need another ash tray while you’re at it, and if you could use that stick in your ass to stir me some nacho cheese and then bring me some nachos that’d be lovely. Vortex: I’ll have a water. Possibly some Alka-Seltzer as well, I have a feeling my stomach’s going to be upset by the end of this. [/color] The waiter looks more than flustered by this point and storms off in an attempt to fulfill their order. A few moments after the Waiter had gone a stage in the distance lights up, soft Jazz music once more fills the room, and an angel takes the stage, in the form of the woman in front of the bar earlier.Tad: *whistles* DAAAAMN! Ursula: If the doctor hadn’t raped my face with forceps, I might have looked like that. Vortex says nothing, although inside he cannot stop laughing. Instead, he simply gazes across the room at the woman on stage, that nagging feeling that he knows her returning. The woman sings “The Look of Love” and has the audience fully mesmerized. Tad who can no longer contain his hormones, rises from his seat and jumps on top of the table.Vortex: Start stripping and I will shove my boot up your ass. [/color] Ursula: Kinky. Tad doesn’t start stripping, instead he starts a series of obscene gestures and loud whistling noises. The woman is too far away to hear over her own voice and the music, however a few people around them begin whispering amongst themselves. It’s at this moment the waiter returns with their order.Waiter: Three beers…some nachos, water, and a few Alka-Seltzer tablets. The waiter sets their awesome order down and scurries away as fast as possible. Before Vortex can fully react, Ursula bites off the cigarette in her mouth and downs two of the beers. Tad snaps out of his love dance and proceeds to go for the other beer. He grabs it just in time, and Ursula’s face lands in the nachos, causing her to look like Stephen King’s next great monster.
Tad downs it and then throws the glass behind him, which shatters on the wall, pieces of glass flying in some rich aristocrat’s hair. A few things happen simultaneously. The woman on stage finishes the last in her series of jazz songs, Tad jumps off the table onto the man with glass shards in his hair, and the bill arrives. Vortex ignores the brawl behind him and looks down at the tab.$937.44Vortex silently mouths ‘damn’ and pushes back from the table. As he is explaining to Ursula that the company he works for will pick up the tab, he nearly is bludgeoned by a fine oak salt and pepper shaker set.
Vortex ducks the shakers, waves to Ursula, and promptly exits the establishment. As the cool night air hits him, Vortex can do nothing but laugh at the fact that he once again turned the odds in his favor.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:57:52 GMT -5
-continuation from Chris’ first seg- Chris Phenomenal:Well then I guess that raps everything up for this evening, except for the winners though, so over the commercial break, break out your cellphones and text VorteX or Black to 55656 to select who you think was the better date.[/color] Meltdown cuts to commercial, and then comes back in two minutes, with Chris Phenomenal in the ring now holding a card in his hand.Chris Phenomenal: The votes are in, and the winner is…
VorteXWith that the updated standings appear on the alphatron.Name | Andrew Black | VorteX | Yuki Satoshi | Mickey Flamingo | Ashton Kutcher | Pie Eating Contest | 3 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 1 | Midget Wrestling | 0 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 1 | Blind Date | 3 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | | - | - | - | - | - |
Chris Phenomenal: With that, VorteX has clenched first place in the tournament, but we still have to determine the rest of the order for the Gauntlet match taking place next Thursday. Next week we have our mystery event which will be the last of the challenges, and it will be revealed on Monday.With that Simply Phenomenal hits as the camera cuts to the backstage.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:58:08 GMT -5
Segment: The Request: Steele Version (Credit: Jake Steele, Senator)
As the show returns from the break, Jake Steele is seen in the Chairman's office, looking none too pleased, and indeed, even a bit bored as Gingerdude addresses him, once again off of the air while Steele polishes his championship with the edge of his hand.
Gingerdude: Ahem, Jake, if you would pay attention. Thank you.
Jake Steele: I don't have all day Ginga'... I'mma need you to speed dis up. Dig?
Ginger: Exactly. And that is why I want your undivided attention, and for you to stop polishing that title of yours.
Steele: ....Whatever, let's get dis done with.
Ginger: Fine, I assume you paid attention earlier, or were told...
Steele: Nah.
Ginger: Fine. Phillips decided that he wants in on your little party at Omega Effect V. I told him that he could, but only if both you and your current opponent agree to make it a triple threat. I am now asking you for your personal consent.
Steele: You really think I'm going to jeopardize my title match, and allow some washed up old nigga to suddenly barge his ass into it?
Ginger: That is what I am asking, you do not have to answer yes, and I would frankly not mind if you said...
Steele: He's in. Hell, dat's the only way dis match could get better! I mean, kickin' Thunderkiss' ass, and sendin' Steve Phillips to da retirement home? You givin' me da perfect opportunity to wreck dat racist muthafuckas career!
Ginger: Ahem...racist?
Steele: Yeah, son, he has it in for us. Listen to him talk, look at how he targeted me, he wants dat belt off my waist.. and it's cause I'm black! Hell, he said he's opposing my president, he don't like Obama neither, and it's for da same reason... he don't like black folks!
Ginger: Umm...I'll let you two sort that issue out, now just sign here, and you've officially given your consent.
Steele signs his name on the sheet of paper offered by the Chairman, and walks out the door, title over his shoulder, knowing that while he may have just given himself a greater challenge, the rewards will be that much better, if he should succeed...and you better believe that'll occur.
Fade Out
========
Segment: You Were Saying? (Credit: Train)
We open inside of the Train Station as Train looks at his Bat Train costume. His identity revealed now to everyone as he puts his hand on the giant glass container holding the suit. He sighs and then proceeds to look at the giant computer in his lair. However, before he can do anything, Thunder Lawyer appears.
Thunder Train: Hey! You spooked me! What's up?
Thunder Lawyer: I'm here to give you my resignation.
Thunder Train: What are you talking about?
Thunder Lawyer: Train, I'm sick of this. Your stupid ideas of how you can change the world. The consistency of me being hurt because of you. I'm done.
Thunder Train: You can't quit!
Thunder Lawyer: I don't have a choice Train! Breaking my neck was the straw that broke the camels back!
Thunder Train: Mmm camel...
Thunder Lawyer: SEE WHAT I MEAN!!??
Thunder Train: That's stupid. You're stupid.
Thunder Lawyer: ...
Thunder Train: And besides, what about the money I pay you?
Thunder Lawyer: MONEY? YOU BARELY PAY ME!
Just then, in comes Ken and Chris. They look excited as they come in with a package in their hands. They go up to the two and Ken hands the box to Train.
Ken: LOOK TRAIN! LOOK AT THE MONEY!
Chris: It's a huge amount!
Train opens up the box and sees the endless amount of cash stemming from it. His eyes light up.
Thunder Train: What bank did you rob to get this shit?
Ken: We didn't have to rob a bank! This is just from the sales of the official Bat Train merchandise.
Thunder Train: Really? How much stuff did you guys sell?
Ken: We sold all the T-shirts.
Thunder Train: And?
Chris: That's it! This is just from the T-shirts. The amount of money we got from everything else is just mind blowing.
Thunder Train: How much money did you get?
Chris: $1.3 Million.
Thunder Train: And now I jizz in my pants.
Ken: Yeah!
Thunder Train: How much is in here?
Ken: About $100,000.
Train takes out a huge wad of cash and then a second one. He tosses it to Thunder Lawyer, who catches it without hesitation.
Thunder Train: Are you going to leave now?
Thunder Lawyer: I guess not. It's all about that money money!
Ken and Chris: YEAH YEAH!
Thunder Lawyer: THAT MONEY MONEY!
Ken and Chris: YEAH YEAH!
Thunder Train: Inb4Freemansaysformetonotcopythatandthinkofmyownstufflikehedidwiththecookiesheet.
The three men dance out of the lair with the money in hand. Train smirks to himself and looks at the computer screen. Train, is now rich! And with great fortune, comes great responsibility! Or lots of pizza....mmm....pizza.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:58:50 GMT -5
"Family Fortunes" Credit: Danny Mainer It's been what, eight months since Danny Mainer last set foot in Vegas with anything other then the intention of trying to break into his own home and steal his stuff back from a bunch of Mexican bandits, right? Well that ends today, as walking into a cafe dressed all smart in a black gothic suit shirt and a pair of chinos is the man himself Danny Mainer. He's looking good, walking alone into the "Rosetta's Palace" cafe in suburban Vegas with a pair of aviators and a "DAT ASS" kind of expression on his face. Appropriate, as it's on a quiet Sunday afternoon. It's a clean cafe with a little counter at the front which has cake trays and other pastry goods on it ready for consumption, extremely quaint and a nice place to take a partner out for lunch. However, this isn't a booty call. Not by a long shot. Heading behind the counter he walks into the kitchen of the cafe and sees (in my words) the cutest damn blonde you've ever seen bending over and packing a dishwasher.
Not the the Playboy Bunny type but that genuine kind of blonde that you'd actually WANT to be friends with. Unaware of the man behind her, she stands hunched over waving a juicy, round ass in the air clad only by a pair of tight denim jeans. Of course, Dan isn't paying any attention to that and instead looks for something to scare the shit out of her with. Seeing a toffee cake lying on the side with a big-ass kitchen knife next to it, he grabs it and pulls it silently off of the unit making little noise as he sneaks up on the girl blissfully unaware of the man in shades about ready to try and kill her. Skulking over behind her, he draws the knife and holds it overhead waiting patiently for this young cutie to turnt he hell around. After a good thirty seconds of waiting, she finally shuts the dishwasher and turns around only to look jump back in shock muted by terror. Mainer can't help but contain his amusement at the reaction, whipping off his sunglasses and putting the knife to one side as the colour starts to return to the blonde girl's face.Danny Masterson: "Howdy, stranger. What's crackin'?"? ? ?: "Who the fu-... wait... D-Danny?!" Danny Masterson: "You know it's true sis, what's crackin' Rachy?"Rachel Masterson: "What the Hell are you doing here?! Aren't you making it big in ACW now?" Danny Masterson: "No, well yes, but no, but kinda' not. Alright I'm struggling. Listen, you know what went on with me and dad right?"Rachel Masterson: "You called him a dick and he went psycho on you for not being the first to dump her?" Danny Masterson: "Bingo."Rachel Masterson: "So why're you here then? I'm not talking to him for you." Danny Masterson: OH COME ON! Why not?!"Rachel Masterson: "Because... I'm busy running this place now. Between seeing Rex, hanging out with friends and running my cafe I don't have time to solve your problems." Danny Masterson: "Oh COME ON! What if I run this place for an hour or two then, will you do it for me?"Rachel Masterson: "NO! Like I'd trust you to run this place Dan. You couldn't run an orphanage!" Danny Masterson: "I'm actually operating a highly successful nightclub in Tokyo right now, it's built in a recycled old sewer hall. You think it's bad, but it's actually awesome."Rachel Masterson: "Uggh, I'm not getting you out of this. You got yourself here." Danny Masterson: "Oh, I did did I? Going into depression 'cause I got my arm compacted is MY fault is it? I thought my life was over, I thought I'd never be able to work again. I'm not supposed to be stepping into a ring with this arm NOW, Rach, or EVER but I am. I didn't choose to make Caitlynn dump me, I didn't choose to get frustrated with dad because he made WAAAY out of line comments about me at thanksgiving. I didn't choose to go into a depression and gamble away my home and loose it in a poker game for ten bucks!"Rachel Masterson: "... ugh." Danny Masterson: "What?! AM I WRONG?! Point if I'm wrong Rach, tell me where my flaws are and I'll go RIGHT back to Minato on the next flight outta' here! I don't mind, for real. TELL me why I'm wrong!"Rachel pushes Danny back by his chest and groans, leaning on the kitchen surface to try and collect her head obviously troubled by this situation.Rachel Masterson: "No, no, you're right. It's just, dad hasn't let this go. You know what he's like, right? So stubborn and such a complete pain in the ass to talk to about anything on a human level, as much as I love him. Just like you Dan. You've always been hot-headed and determined." Danny Masterson: "Uhh, thanks I think?"Trying to sway the subject around, she turns the questioning onto Danny.Rachel Masterson: "Why the sudden change of heart? Why wanna talk to dad now? The family misses you Dan, but he doesn't. Or at least, he tries to act like he doesn't. I sit to dinner at mom and dad's house and mom said something like "Danny was on TV today, he was promoting some wrestling thing" and dad was just like "Dan the vet from across the street?" and she was like "No, Danny your son." and he said this one thing that really got to me and mom... "I don't have a son." after a dramatic pause." Danny Masterson: "Change of heart? Because I've realized that in order to be the best I can I NEED to solve all of my other problems. Money? Not an issue anymore, I could throw three hundred dollars at you and it would be chumps change. I'm raking in the money with my nightclub. I've got lost friends and new enemies, but that's not going to change overnight. However, I NEED to tie up the loose ends with my family because the only way Caitlynn will EVER get back with me is if she sees that things are normal and I'm the way I was a year ago she'll LOVE me again."Rachel Masterson: "There's other girls Dan, I mean I could set you up with one of my friends I-" Danny Masterson: "She's eight months pregnant, I'm the father."Rachel gasps, the colour draining from her face again to emphasise her blondeness.Danny Masterson: "Will you help me or what?"Rachel Masterson: "Go talk to Uncle Charlie, he'll probably be of more use then I am." Danny Masterson: "Uncle Charlie, does he even live in Vegas anymore?"Rachel Masterson: "No, he's in his cabin in Napa Valley with his huge collection of guns. Dad isn't talking to him either, Charlie WOULD talk to him but he's trying to hunt down a deer and he's always been empathetic towards you. I think he'll help." Danny Masterson: "Thanks Rach."Rachel Masterson: "No problem. If you get a plan and you still need my help, come talk to me. Oh and Danny, stay at mine tonight?" Danny Masterson: "I wouldn't wanna intrude on you and Rex I-"Rachel Masterson: "We split up two years ago, I just never bothered to tell mom and dad. Come on, we can eat oreos and ice cream and have a movie night just like old times." For the first time in an age, Danny cracks a smile at something that isn't someone elses suffering.Danny Masterson: "I'd like that."Rachel Masterson: "You're earning your keep though, this place doesn't close for a few hours yet and times are tough. Get to work on them dishes!" Danny Masterson; "MA'AM YES MA'AM!"For the next few hours, the brother and sister tandem would work happily in the kitchen until closing time and then afterwards they'd reminisce on old times as they watched the greatest film ever made, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and then some other films like Infernal Affairs and some women's one. As Danny embarks on making peace with his family, he can sit safely on the guarantee that at least it's patched with his mum and his sister. However Uncle Charlie has not been heard from in some time and as a gun collecting crackpot living out in a cabin in the wilderness with his Vietnamese wife Kiki-Trau this may not be as easy as it first seems.FADE
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:59:17 GMT -5
R E T R O S E G M E N T: D E A T H a funeral to forget[/center][/font] It was exactly a week since Bryce's father had passed away and the funeral had come. As Rena entered the welcoming room of the funeral hall dressed in a conservative black suit, she moved towards Bryce and rubbed his lower back lightly.Bryce: Hey. He didn't even need to turn his head slightly to the side to know it was her. He let in a breath of air and exhaled slowly, speaking to her with a soft tone. he rubbed his nose, and finally looked at her. Her facial expression clearly showed her sadness, but she tried to keep it in for his sake.Rena: Hey babe. Bryce: Can I ask you something? Rena: Anything at all. Bryce: Sit with me, please. Rena: Of course. As Rena let down her arm from the small of his back, Bryce grabbed her hand and squeezed it, leading her to the front of the funeral room. He sat her down beside him and sat tense throughout the entire service. Rena wiped away a few of her own tears, rubbing his hand gently with her thumb as he held onto her hand tightly.Bryce: I can't do this...sorry, I have to leave. Rena: What- Bryce let go of Rena's hand and stood up abruptly, walking swiftly from the front of the room and through the doors, out of the entrance hall and into the front yard. Rena got up slowly and walked in his direction. After some searching, she found him leaning against a tree, holding his side. When she had found herself in front of him, she could see the tears stinging his eyes.Rena: Babe, it's okay. Just cry. Bryce: NO, It's NOT OKAY! He'd want me to be strong! He wouldn't want me to act like a woman! Rena: Honey, just express it the way you want to. Bryce: Don't fucking tell me what to do! Rena: I ... Bryce ... With one exhale, tears poured from Bryce's eyes. His cries were silent as he grabbed Rena tightly, wrapping his arms around her neck and holding his face into her shoulder. His body weight got too heavy for her standing position, and so they slowly floated to the ground. They were both now crouching on the ground, holding one another.Bryce: I will never, ever see him again... Rena: I know, babe. Bryce: I ... how could this happen...what did he do deserve to this...WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! Rena: It just happens ... I don't know, babe. Bryce: You ... you have no idea what you being here means to me. He always liked you, you know. Rena: I know he did. Bryce looked up at Rena, who was still rubbing his back. With his dominant hand, Bryce laced his fingers into her hair and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. Rena's eyes were like saucers, staring at him in complete confusion. Closing his eyes, he parted his lips and kissed hers gently. Before this could continue on, Rena pressed a palm against his chest and pushed him back lightly.Rena: No, Bryce ... We can't. Bryce: Why not? I lov- Rena: No. No, you're just upset. Bryce: That's not it, Rena. You know I do, I do lov- Rena: Bryce, please. Bryce: My dad would have wanted me to do this. Rena: Bryce! Don't bring your father into this. Bryce: Well it's true! He always said we belonged together. He said we would be the perfect couple, Rena! Now you're going to deny him this? Rena: Bryce ... Bryce: You fucking BITCH. Rena: Bryce ... Bryce: You... you ... fuck...ing .... He gave up, leaping back into her embrace and shedding more tears before finally wiping his own face and letting himself up. He looked down at Rena for just a moment before walking away with the party who had just left the finished funeral in tears. The look he gave Rena said it all: she was not to follow. He looked back once before leaving, only to find her alone in the place he left her. He found his heart beside her-- a gift he had given her but she would ultimately and unfortunately leave underneath the great oak and blades of grass.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 15:59:58 GMT -5
Match 1: Baron Trotter vs Douglas Ozzy The Reprobate "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J hits on the loudspeaker at the ACW arena as the crowd their attention to the entrance way, confused. As soon as the curtains fly however, their state of confusion passes and a state of anger overcomes the crowd as the mammoth Baron Trotter takes gigantic steps to the ring. At his side is the much more animated Stan Vishis, who had ditched his black bandannas for a white towel around his neck, holding a large water bottle for Baron, and this week he wears another Jake Steele t-shirt, an older design from before his ACW World Heavyweight Championship reign. As Baron enters the ring over the top rope, the victim is revealed. Our old friend Douglas Ozzy stands in the ring with Father Ozzy kneeling on the apron. As for as a comparison between these two wrestlers, Baron dwarfs Ozzy by several feet and pounds. Stan ignores Ozzy and grabs a microphone.Stan: Aaaayo, what's good, what's good, what's GOOOOOD!!! Right now all y'all ACW fans be looking at me, the Death Defyin' Stan Vishibus! And dat's da troof! You see, when I was backstage this past week, I was be watching me's some Jake Steele matches. Das right! It be's my extreme pleasure to reveal to the whole wide ACW fans, dat right now's, you'se be looking at the official president of the Jake Steele fanclub! This be's a message to anybody who wants to be joining the club, youse gots to be getting in touch with me at jakesteelefanclub@gmail.com ...Yundah stand!? Stan drops the microphone and raises his three fingers and exits the ring as Ozzy runs at Baron in an attempt at getting a quick upper hand, and that's exactly what he gets... a right hand going right UPSIDE his head.
Ozzy faints immediately as Baron stands unaffected by this rush of energy. Baron bends over and grabs Ozzy by the hair... and pulls him to his feet, BY his hair. Baron skips the usual powerbomb set up and launches Ozzy directly on to his shoulders with one sift swing of the arms. What goes up must come down, and Ozzy goes down HARD for the powerbomb as Baron barely even covers him, placing his boot on Ozzy's chest as the referee counts to three.Here is your winner, The NEW F'n Deal, BARON TROTTER!On the outside, Stan grabs Father Ozzy by the back of his shirt and whips him in to the guard rail, where he drops to the ground in agony grabbing his back. Stan hops up back in to the ring with the microphone.Stan: And this is a message to VorteX. Punk ass, you want a brawl? You want a fight? You want a match? You're about to get a whole load of trouble waiting for you at the post office, biaaatch. Stan throws the microphone on the ground, seemingly trying to break it. He failed. Stan and Baron pose as we cut away.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 16:00:22 GMT -5
Segment: The trust and the initiation (Credit: Hitman)
As we cut into a random diner somewhere in Medicine Hat, we see Hitman of the Gods, Colossus Rhodes, Afternoon Drinkin and Alexandra seated at a table. Hitman has his arm around Alexandra, who snuggles with the giant. All three giants have just consumed their weight in food, more than what the diner can dish out.
Hitman: Well, once again I must thank you for coming to the aide of Alexandra and I. But one question remains… Why did you come?
Colossus: Why did I come? Because I wanted to give a helping hand to my fellow giant. You see, for the longest time, I had the distinction and privilege of being your last opponent in a one-on-one match before you disappeared. When I heard about your "death", it ate at me from the inside because I wanted to have one last go-around with you before it was all said and done. It didn't happen so I kind of bounced around on Fallout, not really going anywhere. Then I find out you're back so I had no other choice than to form an alliance with you, out of respect.
Hitman: Well thanks a lot, man. That means a lot to me.
Hitman turns to Afternoon.
Hitman: And you?
Afternoon: I just wanted to do something. Ben and Selina are off doing their own thing so I'm kinda lost in the crowd.
Hitman: All right then. Now it seems to me that we have some sort of trust thing going on here. I have a lot of issues with trust after the way the past few months have gone. But I did have an idea… The three of us, accompanied by my girlfriend Alexandra, form a dominant stable. Just the three of us. What do you think?
Colossus: Sure.
Afternoon: I'm in.
Hitman: All right, Afternoon. You have to pass an initiation test though.
Afternoon: Oh god… I didn't study for it!
Hitman and Colossus facepalm while Alexandra, barely unable to speak a lick of English, looks on in confusion.
Hitman: I'll show you.
The four of them toss some money onto the table and begin to leave the diner. The waiters, waitresses and customers all come out from hiding and begin to resume their normal eating activities, finally free from the girth of the giants. About ten minutes later, our scene shifts to the leisure center. Hitman, Colossus and Alexandra stand on a high dive board, about 30 - 40 ft. up from the water. Afternoon stands on the edge with a blindfold, completely oblivious to his surroundings.
Hitman: You must, erm, take the leap of faith! You will descend to Hades and you will fight your demons in order to come out on top. Are you ready?
Afternoon: Yes.
Hitman: Okay!
In a swift second, Hitman boots Afternoon in the back, sending him tumbling over the diving board. The Newfoundland giant falls as gracefully as a hippo from a plane.
Afternoon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
With a mighty splash, Afternoon soon swims for the top, his blindfold still in tact. As he tries to figure out where he is, a group of frat boys swim up with rubber noodles and immediately begin beating the crap out of Afternoon, who is unable to defend himself from such a heinous onslaught.
Afternoon: They're surrounding me! I can't stop them! GACK!
The others have climbed down to the edge of the pool and are cheering on the big man.
Hitman: FIGHT THEM OFF!
Colossus: REMEMBER YOUR INNER GIANT!
Afternoon hears the advice and after a swift shot in the side of the head, the former Fallout Tag Team Champion absolutely snaps.
Afternoon: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Afternoon grabs an oncoming noodle and begins to club back at the frat boys, vicious shots. Eventually, the frat boys have had enough and they swim away but not before Colossus tosses one of them a $50 bill for cooperating.
Hitman: You did it!
Afternoon stops swinging wildly and lifts up his blindfold, realizing where he is now and sighs.
Afternoon: …you guys are bastards, you know that?
Alexandra cracks up with laughter as Hitman and Colossus help him out of the pool and toss him a towel.
Hitman: It matters not! You are now officially into our group… But your name lacks flair. Afternoon Drinkin is in the past! Instead, you must focus all of your energy into your future… as Adrastos Dionysus. Adrastos is a Greek name for "not inclined to run away" and Dionysus is a name of Bacchus, the god of wine.
Adrastos: …works for me!
Hitman: And together… We will be the… SUPERGIANTS!
Slight pause.
Colossus: wut
Hitman: You're right, needs a new name.
Colossus: I got it.
Colossus puts his hand in and Hitman soon follows it. Adrastos then follows and places his hand over the two. Alexandra then places her hand on top, hers being dwarfed by the other bear paws. With a confident smile on all their faces, Colossus soon speaks.
Colossus: Gentlemen, alongside Alexandra… We will be known as the Monstourage.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Jun 4, 2009 16:03:11 GMT -5
Segment: Poor hiding place (Credit: Michael Smart)
The scene opens to a shaky camera. The cameraman holding it is running. You can see blurry shots of a hallway and another man, running in front of the camera. The man opens a door and motions for the cameraman to follow. The two quickly head inside, the other man letting the cameraman inside before closing the door. The cameraman takes a moment to catch his breath, meanwhile showing to the viewers that the room is a small janitor's closet. The camera turns around to show a clearer look of the other man. It's a worried-looking Michael Smart. Michael takes a second to catch his breath, then starts talking, keeping his voice down.
Michael Smart: I... I think we lost him. I haven't gotten a moment's peace from him for the last three days. Now then...
Michael takes a moment to clear his thoughts, his expression changing to his more common, emotionless one.
Michael Smart: Last Monday ACW fans got to witness an excellent show. Not only that, but it was also an important show to many, as it was a five-year anniversary to the whole federation. Great in-ring action, shocking twists and revelations, nostalgia, all the things fans of wrestling love about this business. But I can't help but feel that the overall greatness of the show overshadowed my re-debut. That's why I'm here once again; to re-introduce myself.
Michael takes a second to pause for effect, then continues.
Michael Smart: My name is Michael Smart, and wrestling is my blood. My grandfather was a wrestler. My uncle was a wrestler. Even my cousin and current manager used to be a wrestler. I not only eat wrestling, think about wrestling, dream about wrestling, talk about wrestling, walk like I'm wrestling, read wrestling-related articles, get annoyed at people who insult wrestling and lecture to random passers-by about wrestling, I AM wrestling. Wrestling is my life, soul, heart and a countless bunch of other things to me. I don't come here to get a big check like half the roster, I come here to wrestle.
Michael pressed his ear to the door for a moment before turning back to the camera and continuing.
Michael Smart: With that said, I haven't always been like this. There was a time when I just didn't have the passion for wrestling. Now I won't repeat myself too much, but let's just say that during that time I had a tendency to move from place to place and now have a small reputation for it. But this time... this time feels different. I feel revitalized, like I could take on the whole locker room. You hear that?
Michael steps forward, giving the viewers an extreme closeup of his face. His expression is now angry yet determined, emotions that can now also be felt in his voice.
Michael Smart: I'm going to take on all of you, one by one. If you insult me, I will strike you down. If you attack me, I will beat you to a bloody pulp. If you piss me off, I will make you feel pain. Whatever the reason, if you stand in my way, you will fa...
Suddenly the door slams open. Startled, Michael looks behind him to see who opened it. Standing just behind where the door used to be is Daniel Smart. Daniel looks at his cousin Michael and at the cameraman, confused.
Daniel Smart: Why are the two of you so... close... and in a closet... with a camera...
Daniel's face lights up in realization.
Daniel Smart: OH SHIT!
Suddenly Daniel bolts in the direction of the two men. Michael manages to sidestep, but the cameraman isn't so lucky and is tackled by Daniel. The camera flies behind them and hits the floor, giving a view of Daniel, who is now on top of the cameraman and punching him in the face, speaking between every punch.
Daniel Smart: You... kidnapped... my... cousin... stupid... evil... cameraman...
Michael Smart: Daniel...
Daniel Smart: But... now... I've... spoiled... your... diabolical... yet... totally... heterosexual... plan...
Michael Smart: Daniel...
Daniel Smart: Now... you... will... pay...
Michael Smart: DANIEL!
Daniel stops mid-punch and looks at Michael.
Michael Smart: What the hell are you doing?
Daniel Smart: Uh... damage control?
Michael Smart: For what?
Daniel looks at the camera, then tries to keep his voice down so his words couldn't be heard by the fans.
Daniel Smart: Well... your more conservative fans might not appreciate it if they found out about your... not-straightness...
There's a long, awkward pause.
Michael Smart: I WAS DOING A PROMO, YOU IDIOT!
Daniel Smart: ..Oh! Heh heh...
Daniel gets off the cameraman. The cameraman is knocked out, though, and lays still.
Daniel Smart: It looked a bit like... and what with you having a thing for cameramen...
Michael Smart: Fine, I'll give you th... wait, what do you mean "a thing for cameramen"?
Daniel gets a bit startled, quickly trying to find an excuse for his Freudian slip.
Daniel Smart: I mean... a history with cameramen. Uh, let's not talk about this anymore, alright?
Michael sighs
Michael Smart: Yes, best we never talk of this again.
Daniel Smart: Now then, I had an idea I wanted to tell you. You know how our family has tons of history? Well, I was thinking that we could use that history and get you popular at the same time...
Daniel walks out with Michael, telling his his idea as the scene fades.
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