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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:10:06 GMT -5
Segment: The Pablo Crisis, Part 2: A Playa's Mandatory Prison Scene
Police Station
Present Day
Lee taps his knuckles impatiently at the wooden table in front of him, looking around at the bland walls within the interrogation room. He looked like he hadn’t sleep in days. Staring at the cop opposite him, Lee is really not in the mood to go through this again.
Apparently someone tipped off the cops about Lee’s involvement with the underground fighting scene almost a decade ago, and since many deaths were reportedly related to the whole event, Lee’s involvement made him a suspect. The person who tipped them off chose to be anonymous, but Lee had a pretty good idea who that man was.
The cop leaned forward, making it obvious that he means business as he speaks, in a much more threatening tone.
Cop #1: There is something you are not telling me.
Lee: I told you everything I know.
Cop #1: So let me get this straight. You admit to once being involved in the notorious underground fighting scene?
Lee: Yeah.
Cop #1: You were the man that was referred to with names such as “Lee Murdafest,” “Yung Jay Hood,” “Broke My Stop Watch”?
Lee: I told you.
Cop #1: You claim to be FIFTEEN when you were first bought into it?
Lee: Yeah.
Cop #1: Now why am I finding that so hard to believe?
Lee snorts, his patience running thin.
Lee: I told you everything I know, if you don’t wanna believe me then it is your problem. I’m outta here.
Lee made to stand up when the other cop, much bigger and built, walks towards him and towers over him, making his presence menacing and dangerous.
Lee: Am I supposed to be intimidated?
Cop #1: Yes, actually, you should. You are in a police station, and anything you do can be held against you. I could give a rat’s ass if you are some superstar on TV. In here, you are just like anyone I question.
Lee: Heh.
Sitting back down, Lee composes himself and looks at the cop straight in the eye once again.
Lee: I told you. I was once in this thing when I was still a minor. Yes, I am the man known as all those names you’ve referred to. I was fighting for, a man named Pablo Del Santo, who should be in prison right now.
Cop #1: I heard you the first time, and I called some people. He was BAILED out, released after seven years of time.
Lee: What? That is fucking bullshit.
Cop #1: Why? Because the person you claim to have bought you into this is now out of jail so you can’t place any blame on him?
Lee: Have you been listening to what I’m telling you? Do you even know why Pablo was in jail the first place?
Cop #1: That is none of my concern. For all I know, he is just some guy you are trying to pull into this to clear your name, you fucking worthless piece of crap.
Lee: Fuck you. Why even ask me if you ain’t gonna believe anything I tell you?
Cop #1: I want to hear you admit that you are guilty. I want to hear it from your own lips. Do you know how many deaths came from this petty game that you were involved in? Bodies turning up, being pummeled to death, and we can’t even explain to family members what the fuck it is they were involved in.
Lee: I didn’t kill ANYBODY.
Cop #1: Don’t you dare raise your voice against me like that again or I will make sure you are locked up RIGHT NOW and I WILL throw away the keys.
Lee: I know my rights, where the fuck is my lawyer anyway?
Cop #1: Aren’t you sharp as a tack? I could give a rat’s ass less where he is. I need you to stop fucking around with me and beating around the bush. Who you are out there means NOTHING to me in here, you get that? NOTHING.
Lee stares at the cop for a second, blinking slightly at the fact that he just screamed into his face. To be quite honest, Lee can’t figure out why Pablo got him into this mess in the first place. What more leverage does he want?
Lee: Tell me something, are you always this fucking pathetic? Cuz really, it is sad.
Cop #1: What the fuck did you say?
Lee: You heard me.
Cop #1: We will see if you still got that attitude when you end up behind bars, punk.
Lee: That remains to be seen, but really, are you going out of your way to get me into jail because you really care about the whole underground fighting case all these years ago? Or is it because it is just me?
Cop #1: What are you talking about?
Lee: Look at you. You a fucking bum. Grown ass man still trying to make it look like you are in charge in here. It is quite pathetic, really. Let’s face it, the only reason why you take everything I say to heart is because you despise the fact that I am young, and I got a criminal record to boot, yet I get the money, the car, the fame, the glory. What the fuck do you have? A little badge that says you can scream “freeze” like some fucking fruit only to have people not laugh at your face.
Cop #1: I know what you are trying to do, I am not falling for it. Just shut the fuck up.
The cop is obviously fuming, but if he laid his hands on Lee then he would have something held against him. At least he is smart enough to realize that. Lee likes to push buttons though.
Lee: What about sex, eh?
Cop #1: What!?
Lee: Sex. Fuck. When is the last time you’ve gotten any, eh? And the fucking hole in your Krispy Kreme donuts doesn’t count. Must eat you up inside, knowing that I can get away with so many things and still able to do one thing that you can’t. How does that classify your manhood, eh? Prolly still live with your mama, fuckin chump.
Cop #1: Shut the fuck up!
The cop got up and punches Lee right in the jaw, as the sound of his fists making contact with Lee made it clear that the punch was nothing short of painful. Lee fell to the ground off of his chair, and checked his mouth for blood. Seeing crimson red liquid dripping out of his mouth, Lee smiles, and laughs right at the face of the cop.
Lee: You know you done fucked up, don’t you?
The door knocks, and two more female cops, assumingly the interrogation cop’s superior, came in with another man in a suit, all with quite a surprised look when they found Lee on the floor bleeding.
Lee: Haha. Meet my lawyer.
To be continued.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:10:43 GMT -5
Segment: Cracking Down (Credit: Train and Mainer) We open inside of a back alleyway that's close to pitch black. The only sign of light comes from a match that moves to a cigarette and lights it up. The match gets blown out and it looks to be total darkness again except for the tip of the cigarette. Suddenly, headlights appear from a car and shine to reveal two men standing there. They don't seem phased by the light and stand their ground. Three car doors open up and three men step out. The two sides meet and stare at each other. Overhead, a single support beam...supports Bat Train and Thunder Lawyer, who is barely hanging on.Thunder Lawyer: Gah...ahh....what's going on...OH GOD I'M GONNA FALL! Bat Train: Shaddup. I think a deal's going down, that's gotta be Mainer down there. Thunder Lawyer: Are you gonna finish him off right here? Bat Train: Negative. I'm gonna wait to do that. But what I am gonna do is listen in and then strike. We return to the 5 men belowMainer Corleone: ”Do you got the cash?”Man with Cigarette: Do you got the stuff? Mainer Corleone: ”I asked you first. Now show me the money asswipe.”Man with Cigarette: Alright fine. Tony, open the case. The second man picks up a briefcase that was invisible to the eye in the darkness. He slides the numbers on the front of the case to get it open. Both latches click and then he flips it to reveal the cash, all $100 bills. Mainer leans over to it and Tony quickly snaps it away from him.Man with Cigarette: Whoa, watch your fingers there. I showed you the cash now why don't you show me the stuff. Thunder Lawyer: What stuff are they talking about? Bat Train: Pixie sticks. Mainer Corleone: ”Jimmy, get the stuff.”Ugly Jimmy walks back to the car and grabs a briefcase of his own. He brings it over to the men and opens it up to reveal several dozen bags of a white substance. He then closes the case once more.Bat Train: I knew it. Thunder Lawyer: Ugh...Now are you gonna take action? Bat Train: Wait for it.... Both parties nod and it looks like the briefcases are going to switch carriers. They get closer...Bat Train: Wait for it.... Closer...Bat Train: Wait for it.... They are in the hands of the other groups now.Bat Train:GO! BAT TRAIN AWAYYYYY! Train jumps from the support beam and lands in between the men. He looks like he is about to fight them when all of the sudden.Mainer Corleone: ”NOW!”The second group of men begin attacking Train. It was a trap! They begin to kick Train and beat him down. Train hurts as he is thrown against the buildings and through the windshield of one of the cars. He coughs up a little blood then Mainer commands the men to hold him. They pull Train's arms back and Mainer begins to punch him. Meanwhile, on the support beam, Thunder Lawyer loses is grip even more and crashes down below. The men turn their attention to him.Enzo Romero: “Well well well, what do we have here?” Ugly Jimmy: “Looks like a chump to me.” Mainer Corleone: ”Oh hey, it's Thunder Lawyer! What a pleasent surprise. Grab him boys!”Jimmy and Enzo grab Thunder Lawyer and tie his arms behind his back. They drag him over to Mainer who spits in his face and then kicks him.Mainer Corleone: ”How do you like them apples Bat Train? Hmm? How do you like to see your buddy get bruised up because like the people the stuff I’m selling is getting passed onto, you seem to have an addiction. Yeah, that’s right, the addiction to interrupting my business. I think it’s time to put a bullet in their heads.”Thunder Lawyer: Oh God no! Mainer Corleone: ”YOU DON'T COUNT!”CRUNCH! Mainer stomps on the leg of Thunder Lawyer.Mainer Corleone: ”Bring Bat Train over here.”Nothing happens.Mainer Corleone: ”TODAY, FUCKWITS!”Still nothing.Mainer Corleone: ”Goddammit, do I have to do everything myself?”Mainer turns around to find that the other two men are now tied up with duct tape over their mouths. Mainer looks confused and angry as he searches around for Bat Train.Mainer Corleone: ”WHERE ARE YOU BAT TRAIN?”Bat Train: GO GO GADGET BAT GAS! A smoke screen appears in front of the four men but it's no ordinary gas, its the most delicious gas you have ever tasted! It's tear gas laced with Jellyfish Jellyyyyyyyyyyy! (lolFreeman). The men begin coughing but can't get enough of the gas. It tastes so good yet it hurts to take it. Yes, that's what she said. When the smoke clears, Mainer, Jimmy and Enzo are all there, but Thunder Lawyer is not. Mainer looks up to see a rope swinging away with Bat Train and Thunder Lawyer.Mainer Corleone: ”BAT TRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!”Fade....=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= That Was Easy Credit: Andrew Black
Fading in we see a door. This door opens and we see Andrew Black, leaving his locker room with a magazine in hand. He closes the door behind him and looks up, his expression suddenly turning sour. Andrew Black:[/color] Goddamnit, Gramps, what do you want? The camera zooms out and across from Andrew stands the Fallout Openwight Champion, known simply as DNA. [/center] Nicholas Alger: I want you to do two things. You need to reconsider my offer. WIth me by your side, you could be great. Andrew Black:[/color] Well since I cannot do that, maybe I can help you with your second request. Nicholas Alger: Stop calling me Gramps. Andrew Black:[/color] And now you are oh for two. Sorry Gramps. Now if you excuse me, I have better things to do. Nicholas Alger: With a magazine? Andrew Black:[/color] I have duties that need to get taken care of. Andrew Black walks off and DNA follows. Black notices that the Fallout Openweight Champion is following and speeds up. DNA starts to speed up also until Andrew stops in his tracks and turns. [/center] Andrew Black:[/color] Listen, I’ve been potty trained. So just, go away. Nicholas Alger: What? Andrew Black:[/color] I’m going to take a shit, and unless you want to wipe my ass, you probably should go beg Rawt to not kick your ass too hard. Nicholas Alger: Listen, one final offer. If you beat me in a match, I’ll leave you alone. But if I beat you, I get to train you. Andrew Black:[/color] If I say I’ll think about it, will you let me take my shit in peace?[/color] Nicholas Alger: Yes. Andrew Black:[/color] I’ll think about it. Alger smiles and walks away. Black rolls his eyes, tucks the magazine under his arm and walks the opposite way. Somewhere, someone hits a Staples easy button.
Fade Out. [/center]
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:11:10 GMT -5
Ticking Time Bomb Dave Shadow, Dan White As we cut to the arena again, we find the crowd sitting and waiting for the next ACW superstar to make their way down to the ring. There’s an air of excitement and anticipation as the announcer steps into the ring and raises the microphone up to his mouth.Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome...Dave Shadow!All the excitement drains out of the crowd, as “Into the Fire” by Disturbed hits, and Dave Shadow strides out through the curtains. He makes his way down the ramp, ignoring the booing crowd who scream abuse at him. Even the little kiddies are flipping him off. Dave climbs the stairs and enters through the ropes, before grabbing the microphone off the announcer and signally him to leave. Dave moves round the ring, circling it and running his hand through his hair. He is searching for the right words to say. Even thought this moment has been on his mind for what seems like forever, he still doesn’t know how to voice his thoughts. He stops and looks up the ramp way.
Dave: Dan White, I have invited you back to the ACW arena today because quite frankly, I need this to be over. I need to fini....Dave may have a microphone but he can’t speak over the thousands of booing people. He stops talking and looks into the crowd, giving them a deadly look. They refuse to relent in their cheers.
Dave: Shut up!This only makes the crowd even louder; there are no chants now, no one discerning cry of hatred. Instead, it’s just a loud booing noise, continuous and deafening. This only serves to anger Dave more. He turns his attention back to the entrance way.
Dave: You see this Dan? You see what they think of me, simply because I dared to speak out against you? You see how they boo me, just because I would stand up to you Dan? How dare I? How dare I speak out against your bully boy tactics? How dare I call you out as the arrogant terrorising jerk you are. How dare I TELL THE TRUTH?Dave storms round the ring, the boos really getting to him in a way that they never seem to have had before. He is turning a dark shade of red, and as he talks, he nearly seems to be pleading.
Dave: And you know the worst part Dan? Up until a few weeks ago, up until the moment I first challenged your beliefs, this...this crowd, this reaction....it didn’t bother me. I didn’t care, cause I knew deep down that what I was doing was the right thing to do, and I knew that one day they’d thank me for it. And despite what they’d think of me, I’d be the one in the right, and my righteousness would carry me through. It would keep me sane as I climbed the ladder here in ACW. But when you were released Dan, I lost something I needed. See, I’ve never beaten you Dan, and that eats me up inside. You’ve beaten me plenty of times, but not once have I picked up the win over you. And that kills me. And it distracts me. That was evident in the fact I lost to that old coot last week, Hollywood Mach. I should never have lost that Dan, and now I know why. Cause my mind is elsewhere. My mind is on you Dan, and beating you. My mind is on....Midsentence, Dave is cut off, as “Anarchy in the UK” hits the PA System, and you better believe that there's a lot of happy people in the Monaco arena. The pop is deafening, even moreso when Dan White walks through the curtain, and stands with a cocky smirk on his face, looking down at the ring towards Dave Shadow. But his walk ends there, instead deciding not to walk all the way down to the ring. And as his music fades, he takes the microphone in his hand towards his lips, and the fans lean forward, ready to hang off his every word.Dan White: You know, Shadow, it's very funny that you say all of that crap about me being a thug, a terrorist, and a criminal. I know what your game is, trying to make me look like I'm some kind of cancer within ACW. Well, at Fallen Heroes the other week, you were able to get rid of this cancer. You were all clear. And yet you couldn't help yourself, could you? You realised that you needed me in ACW, even though you and your little pals Gingerdude and Thunderkiss were begging for the day when I would vanish into thin air. So what have you gone and done, Davey boy? You've just injected yourself with a nice big syringe of radiation. You've ignited this cancer, and this time, you are NOT going to get rid of it. There's a cheer from the crowd as Dave grimaces.Dan White: But enough about the cancer analogies. Wouldn't want to offend people, would I? Cocky smile, turn and pose to the side camera.Dan White: But this isn't about you trying to get a win over me. Oh no. I have my own 'demons, if you will, to encounter. And you're the first name on the list. This is a whole new ballgame now. Whilst I still fight for these people, they can no longer be a priority for me anymore. I'm sorry. But for what I do here in the foreseeable future is purely my own desire. And my desire is to take down the complete scum, of whom are trying to lower the glass ceiling above my head. And Dave, like I said, you're the first name on the list, and I would take absolute pleasure in kicking your arse all over Italy at Spring Into Hell. There's a huge pop for the announcement, as Dan lowers the microphone, smirking, and allowing the pop to echo out, before placing the microphone back to his mouth.Dan White: And believe me, mate, you've opened up a can of worms, in fact no, you've not opened up a can of worms. You've opened up a can of shark. And unfortunately for you, Dave, this shark can breathe air. And he's got the scent of blood. The crowd pop again, as ridiculous as what Dan's just been on about, as Shadow retaliates.Dave: Oh, very clever Dan. You say that the fans aren’t a priority, and yet here you are, continuing to pander to their every whim, continuing to try and get a pop out of them. You talk your big game Dan, but look at where you stand right now. Any further away from me, and you may as well not be here. Fine fine fine, you want to know why I invited you back instead of allowing you to wallow in your own filth at home? You know why I invited you back while Gingerdude and Thunderkiss celebrated your release? It’s because I want to be the one who gets rid of you. I want to be the man responsible for your ejection from this company. I want to be the doctor who eliminates the cancer. I want to be the Brody to that big, white shark who is swimming round in ACW. I want....no, I NEED to fight you Dan, because I need to know that I can beat you. Because until I have proof of that, I don't think that I can continue on here in ACW. As Dave nearly pulls the hair from his head, ripping and tearing it in frustration as the crowd try drowning him out with boos, Dan can’t help but let a big smile grow. He’s obviously inside the head of Shadow.Dave: So, I want you Dan. I want to face you in this ring at Spring into Hell. I want to knock you out and pin you....1....2....3! I want to have the pleasure of knowing that it was I who beat you. I want the match Dan, and it’s now very obvious to me that you want it as well Dan. So let’s make this official. I, Dave Shadow, challenge you to a match at Spring into Hell. Dan White. Do you you accept?The camera pans back up the ramp, as Dan tauntingly 'thinks' about it for a second, hand on chin and all.Dan White: You know, provided you don't bring your little group of whingers to the ring, you're on. There's a huge cheer as Dan accepts the match proposal, and drops his microphone to raise his arms in the air, as “Anarchy in the UK” by the Sex Pistols plays again. He then locks eyes with his foe, smirking as he makes his exit. Dave, meanwhile, watches with a cocky nod of the head. He's got his man on Pay Per View, but is he pulling off more than he can chew?
Fade Out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:11:27 GMT -5
Match 3: Rawt vs. DNA - Submission Match Credit: Chris Phenomenal.
Will the streak survive was the question on everyone’s mind. With Rawt’s record now 9-0, people were beginning to wonder when the great Yokoberg would return to make sure he streak was left in tact. For that to happen though, Rawt would need to get passed “Dangerous” Nicholas Alger in a submission match, not necessarily known as his forte. Who would walk out the victor by making the other person their bitch.
The Beginning
The match started off quickly, with Rawt and Alger circling each other before engaging in a collar and elbow tie up. Rawt forced the smaller Alger into the corner and came at him with a set of knife edge chops before taking it a step further using his head as a battering ram, not once, nor twice, but ten times as Alger hit the canvas. Rawt wasted no time in taking in to him with stomps forcing Alger to roll out of the ring to escape the larger Rawt. This didn’t work however as Rawt chased him out, the referee yelling at them to get back into the ring beginning to count them out. Rawt attacked Alger with a big right hand, and then another, and another before Alger blocked one, and countered with his own before switching him and firing him back into the ring. Alger chased him in and started wailing on him, connecting with a consortium of strikes as Rawt got to his feet, and then from there connecting with a roundhouse kick.
The Middle[/u]
With Alger in control of the match things didn’t look good for Rawt, Alger picked him up and went back to the attack with a few set of Senatorial esque knife edge chops. Finally Alger went for the O-Soto-Gari but Rawt countered, instead turning around and taking the back of Alger and connecting with a massive german, and kept the hold so he was able to repeat it twice more. Rawt got to his feet and stood by the ropes, waiting for DNA to get up, once he got there Rawt bounced off the ropes and turned DNA inside out with a Rawt shot. This didn’t work well however in the submission match as Rawt wasn’t able to capitalize on the incredible impact, instead going to lock in Alger’s own submission hold the Critical Condition. Rawt was able to lock it in and had DNA in trouble but eventually he got to the ropes, forcing the break of the hold.
The End[/u]
Rawt now was in control of the match, his streak no longer appearing in jeopardy. Rawt began to stomp DNA against the ropes trying to soften him up but once again he fled to the outside, the crowd jeering at his cowardice. Rawt once again followed him out and there the two went at it before Rawt connected with a big right hand..connecting with the ring post that is as DNA ducked out of the way, from there DNA looked to pick up the large Rawt and power him down with a double underhook piledriver on the matting below. Rawt however countered it with a backbody drop that levelled DNA. Rawt picks up DNA like a rag doll and with DNA standing groggily Rawt wraps his arms around the lifeless body of DNA and whips him around like a rag doll in a bearhug. As weak as DNA is after that match, it appears that he cant take anymore and the ref checks and sees that his body has gone limp which makes the ref signal for the bell for the match to end.
WINNER: RAWT "THE CRIPPLER" ROSS![/u]
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:12:32 GMT -5
Segment: SWINE FLU? NO U! (Credit: Bat Train and the Harlem Superman) Mexico City. The home of our current adventure. Bat Train and the Harlem Superman have to battle Swine Flu in the place that it started. Bat Train pulls up in his Train Mobile in front of a hospital. He hits eject and flies out of the top of the Train Mobile. He lands on his feet and scouts the area with the Trainnoculars. The Harlem Superman appears as well flying down next to Train.Bat Train: Good thing you are here Harlem Superman. I've checked the are and I can't seem to find anyone that could be the cause of this. Harlem Superman: Holy Guacamole Bat Train! I think I see what could be causing the problem. The Harlem Superman points over to a group of people that they could beat up. They look threatening to so why not? Bat Train and the Harlem Superman spring into action. Bat Train jumps in front of one man.
*WHACK!*
Harlem Superman kicks another
*POW!*
Bat Train ducks a punch of one man and then lifts him up and throws him into the wall.
*WHAM!*
Oh noez! Harlem Superman seems to be in trouble!
*OM!*
An awesome punch from Bat Train
*OM!*
Another right for the baddys
*NOM!*
And one big one!
The bad guys fly everywhere and Harlem Superman picks up the villains and tosses them away into the sky, never to be seen again.
Bat Train claps his hands together signifying a job well done. Harlem Superman agrees and nods with authority. A siren goes off and the dynamic duo run to the hospital.Bat Train: What is it, Chief....of Medicine in Mexico Enrique Sanchez? The Chief: Alpha League of America, glad you are here. It seems that you just defeated members of the evil pharmaceutical corporation Parasol who spread Swine Flu in the first place. Harlem Superman: It's only a matter of time before this Flu spreads all over the world. Bat Train: Too late. It seems that this threat is spreading all across the world! The Chief: That you are surely not wrong about that which you said Bat Train. Bat Train: Who is the owner of Parasol? Harlem Superman: Bat Train, it's Jon Taylor! Ever since he left ACW, he has been trying to destroy the world in revenge. I learned this on my last reconnaissance trip. Bat Train: Holy....shit! >_> Harlem Superman: I know! It's such a coincidence! We have to act fast or else he will destroy the world! Bat Train: Holy....fucking shit! I don't wanna die! The Chief: But Bat Train, you are a superhero! Bat Train: Are you fucking kidding me? I'm a man in a spandex suit. I don't have any real super powers. Harlem Superman: Don't speak like that Train, with our combined strength we can overcome any obstacles that are before us! Bat Train: Like John Cena. Harlem Superman: Exactly like John Cena. The Chief: Where's dinner? Bat Train: If only Thunder Train were here, he’d say, “Your dinner, OM NOM NOM,” then eat you. Harlem Superman: If only Chris Phenomenal was here he’d say your mom’s for dinner. The Chief: Well Senor’s… The words of The Chief are left on deaf earths as the duo has already left, Chris Phenomenal ready to take to the roof of the Train Mobile and Thunder Train hopping in. Chris however forgets the roof has already been removed and lands back beside Train in the passenger sheet as the two roar off, heading towards the secret, generic filled lair of Jon Taylor. The two continue down, the car bumping to the sounds of their newest theme song (now available on Itunes). Their jam session is interrupted though, as out of nowhere there car is stopped.Bat Train: What the..? Harlem Superman: It’s Taylor, he’s sent his generic bots after us. That’s a call to arms for Bat Train and the Harlem Superman as once again they eject into the air, as Harlem Superman dodges a generic laser beam from the generic bot. Train however this time on the launch overshoots and lands on one of the generic bots, turning him into a generic pancake. From there Harlem Superman hit’s the ground, rolls out of the way of a laser beam, jumps over another, and lands in front of one, before
*WHAM!* The generic bot goes flying through the air, as the Harlem Superman looks at Train, the bot heading on a collision course with him.Harlem Superman: TRAIN! WATCH OUT! Train turns, sees the bot, and starts running like there’s a cake fifty yards away. The Bot misses Train, lands on the other bot and then
*BOOM!* ]The bot’s colliding causes an explosive reaction, as the two bots blow into millions of pieces that rain down like shrapnel that destroy the three other generic bots. Harlem Superman wipes his brow, but all of the sudden.
*BOOM!*
*BOOM!*
*BOOM!* Something is approaching in the distance.
*BOOM!* Harlem Superman looks up as he stands beside a panting Bat Train.Harlem Superman: HOLY FUCK! Standing in front of them is a massive robot, probably thirty feet tall and not generic in the least like the others, it’s like Adrian Flamingo compared to Josh Robertson.Robot: MUST…KILL…BK LONDON… Harlem Superman and Bat Train look at each other, and then assume a ready to fight position against the massive robot. This doesn’t come to fruition as behind them the Trainmobile is undergoing a mighty transformation of it’s own, no longer a car, but a massive robot that can take on the massive robot. Train and Harlem Superman are oblivious to this, saying their goodbyes to the air in front of them.Bat Train and Harlem Superman: KEE…hey what’s that sound.The two look at each other, confused at what is going on before looking up at the robot and catching site of a missile launched from behind them, they turn around but by now the Train Mobile has retained to shape. The two turn back and look at the robot just as the missile collides, the robot exploding, as the two looks confused.Bat Train: BK’s new finisher? Harlem Superman: I don’t know Bat Train. The two hop in the Train Mobile before pulling away, jamming once again to their theme song (Avaiable now on Itunes) before pulling up in front of a generic looking lair, with a not so generic looking women in front dressed look a hooker. Train and Harlem Superman step out of the car as the hooker approaches.Hooker: The two of you are going to cost extra. Harlem Superman: I’m not with him but later..how mu… Bat Train: Easy there, we got a mission. Bat Train pulls the Harlem Superman away from the lass as they step foot into the lair, who knows what troubles they could be facing.
Fade
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:14:33 GMT -5
“TRAMP STAMP’D” Credit: Rena, Thunderkiss [Rena, looking as good as usual…is seen walking down the hallway of the ACW arena. Like nobody else in the wrestling business when invited to see upper management, but she figures that it would probably be in her best interest to do so. She walks into the office and plops herself down on a chair across from Anna. In comparison to their last get together, the scenery could not be more different. The luxury and decadence that surrounded them has been replaced with stale air, stained carpets and moldy walls. So is the wrestling world. As we will soon find out, the attitudes of both women have also been replaced with something more fitting for the setting.] Rena Matheson: Anna, if you don’t mind can we please make this quick? I am simply - Anna Sommers-Joseph *interrupting*: I’m sorry dear, but I’m afraid I have some bad news. Rena Matheson: Oh? What’s that? Anna Sommers-Joseph: Yeeeeah, we’re going to have to let you go. [Rena winces. Surely Anna just did not terminate her. Such a thing would be asinine, but then again, this is Anna Sommers. Ms. Matheson would not put it past her thus stares at her dumbfounded, hoping for her to either confirm her suspicions or relieve her of her worries.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: With the economy so bad, we need to cut back and unfortunately, your name was right on top of the list. Rena: And I wonder just how that happened.[Rena easily puts two and two together and deduces that she has just taken the brunt of jealous woman’s rage. The audacity of this woman astounds her so much that her tongue virtually freezes. Does she not realize who she is speaking to, or for that matter, dealing with?] Anna Sommers-Joseph: No need to wonder, I’d be more than glad to tell you. You see Rena, we have a very special department called research that does all these jobs which if I explained, would probably confuse you. Bottom line, they crunched some numbers, did a few surveys and looked at the ratings. They were to give me the name of the most expendable member on the roster and they did, yours. [The anger builds to critical levels and shakes free her tongue free. Since the moment she saw “daddy’s little princess,” she has so wanted to knock her off her pedestal. That day has arrived.] Rena: Mine? MINE? How many dicks did you suck for them to crunch MY numbers? Let me tell you that the most expendable person is you, Anna Sommers-Joseph. You sit here on your high horse, petting your ego while preying on people you deem are a threat. You are nothing but a jealous bitch with a little power and the knowledge to use it. *laughs* I bet you RAN to TK to discuss the little scar on his chest ... and what? He didn't give you the answer you wanted? Maybe he told you the truth, I'm not sure ... but in retrospect, I enjoyed it. How does it feel, Anna ... to be the second choice for Aiden because I refused his advances. You're just the second-rate scraps he picked up because he couldn't have the one he truly wanted ... me. So you can sit in your ivory tower and rain your terror on me, but how does it feel? How does it feel knowing that in Aiden's eyes ... you'll always be number 2? *chuckles* You might think I'm a whore, a slut ... whatever you call me behind my back. But this whore gave your husband the emotional and physical pleasure that clearly you can never give him. [Mrs. Sommers-Joseph’s face invents three new shades of red as Rena lambastes her with her vocal chords. Her inner temptations are screaming at her to shut this woman’s mouth with her fist but why lower herself to a ruffian’s level when it is she that holds all the cards? She doesn’t have to put up with this, this is HER company. It’s high time that she makes an example out of those who doubt her power and Rena will make a most excellent choice. Calming back down, Anna takes control of the situation and to do that, only one word will be suffice - ] Anna Sommers-Joseph: Out. Rena: Oh no, I don’t think so. Let me inform you that - Anna Sommers-Joseph *interrupting*: I SAID OUT, BITCH! ~!~CRACK~!~ [Control. It’s so overrated. Rena’s head has the misfortune of shattering a nearby glass vase into thousands of pieces. The concrete floor becomes littered with glass fragments and blood stains, the sight of which cause Anna to nearly experience a panic attack. She has never partaken in such a violent action before and the thought of her acting in such an animalistic fashion makes her ill. She takes a deep breath and then another and grips each side of her desk with her fingers to prevent her from falling face first into her desk. With each passing second her heartbeat begins to return to normal. Her composure is then regained and that’s when it dawns on her, there is an icky mess on the floor.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: Bring me the janitor. I’m afraid I made a bit of a mess out of my office. [FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:15:22 GMT -5
Segment Save for Jonny Hughes =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ] ”The Locomotive Liaison: Because Alliteration is for Cool Kids” Credit: Danny Mainer/Thunder Train ”Ginger’s Theme” hits the speakers and to the symphony of boos that plays throughout the arena he steps out of the curtain in all of his confidence. Looking a little bit roughed up from last week’s attack by Mainer Corleone he undeterred carries on his confident swagger down the ramp making his intentions known that he’s going straight for the ring. The crowd boo in anticipation as he no doubt has something he wants to say to everyone, a Public Address so to speak. When he reaches ring-side he is unwarmly greeted by the fans from (country) flip him the bird, throw anything they have to hand at him or just generally say mean things. Ginger however, has no time for Euro-Trash ingrates and so he ever so slowly climbs up the ring-steps He then climbs through the ropes and gestures for the ring-side technicians to throw him a microphone. One is skilfully aimed and lands but a few feet away from the loafers of The Chairman who bends down to pick it up. He smirks at the audience, clearing his throat formally before staring off the official ceremonies.Edison: ”What does he want?”McNally: ”Isn’t it obvious? He’s no doubt here to talk about his match last week."Chairman Gingerdude: “Good evening all, please no flash photography right now, I’ve got serious business to get down to. Last Monday, most of you will have seen the act committed upon me by our own Danny Mainer. This was a man I felt I could trust and yes while many of you say I brought it upon myself he had NO RIGHT to do what he did. He didn’t just cost me my International Championship and he didn’t just cost me an extra two grand a year in health insurance but he most importantly COST ME my pride!” The crowd eat up the idea of Mainer Corleone humiliating the big boss man and cheer at the mention of his act of last week, “Cor-Lee-Ow-Nage” chants break out across the ring showing the fans creativity at using a play-on words for the family name of Marlon Brando’s most famous role to date. Ginger looks disappointed with the audience, but he doesn’t lower himself to their level and continues on with his speech.Chairman Gingerdude: “Now that’s not to say my business is finished with Thunder Train. No, far from it, I’ve realized now that I have two enemies that hate each other just as much as I hate them and what better way to dispose of them then setting them off on each other? I’m not daft, I can safely say having watched the interview Mainer conducted with Charlotte King I realized that Danny Mainer or Super Corleone Brother or whatever my “The Premiere High-Flier of ACW” is calling himself these days has got the right idea of my mind-frame. He’s a business man, he’s run a wrestling show before more then once and he knows what sells and what works for the owner. Yes, I am planning to pit them against each other in the ring but not tonight for you ungrateful people. No, both men have matches tonight already and it’d be unfair for me to make them fight.” The crowd give a mixed reaction, half booing that they won’t fight and half cheering they’ll get to fight in the future. The Chairman wipes his brow casually as he now has a daunting task to achieve.Chairman Gingerdue:[/color] “No, what I would like to see however is Mainer come out here and explain to me what it is that he want from Train. I’m a fair guy and I’m going to negotiate this thing out the proper way. So, Mainer, come out and address your family so to speak!” The only thing that greets Chairman’s Gingerdudes ears are the sound of encouragement for Mainer to come out as Ginge stares at the entrance ramp expectantly just waiting for the man himself to walk out of the curtain.McNally: ”I can’t see this ending well, very few people have the nerve to call out the demented travel agent. But, well, Ginger is the boss and if he wants to see his employees I guess he has the right. However, it seems his please has gone ignored.”Edison: ”Sucks for him.”Ginger’s face scrunches a little in frustration with Danny’s defiance and so he issues a public order to all of the security in the background to try and sway Mainer into coming out.Chairman Gingerdude: “To any security officials in the back which maybe holding Mainer away let him down here. I want a word with my employee. Come on Danny. Are you afraid of me? Are you too much of a soft sack of shi-“ ”Chicago” by Graeme Norgate blares out the Bang and Oluffsen sound system getting the crowd on their feet for the arrival of Mainer Corleone who steps out in his usual suit as well as a dark cream trench coat all dressed up like Rich Marlow or something but less creepy and more sexual. Mainer doesn’t come out alone or unarmed either, he’s carrying his Thompson Submachine Gun and so are his two henchmen Enzo Romero and Ugly Jimmy who stand either side of Mainer not taking their eyes off of Ginger. Mainer has a microphone in one hand and his gun in the other and Ginger looks a little disgusted at the sight of this maniac being in his arena, even though he just called him out.Mainer Corleone: ”So wait, lemme get this right. You’ve come to ask me what I want?! Hah, wow. That’s a first. Normally it’s me bending over ass-up for other people but hey, I guess my associate Mr. Petrelli was right about the power of a personally tailored suit. It commandeers respect from all around and lets people know YOU ARE the man. Everyone here tonight, the MainerManiacs know what a great suit is capable of, right you guys?”Mainer holds up the microphone and the crowd roar in approval which is all picked up by the microphone and amplified to really slap Ginger in the face about how much support he has tonight.Mainer Corleone: ”Now, this is my problem. See Ginger, I don’t think I can trust you. I don’t think anyone can. In fact, I think coming out here was a waste of time. You dragged me away from a bottle of poker and a game of whisky-wait… a bottle of whisky and a game of poker with some fine-ass bitches just to try and survey me on what I want? I told you what I wanted last week, I wanted someone to have my back against Rawt and nobody came out to my aid. That Rawt is nine and zero now and it’s on MY back. That’s why I did what I had to do, it’s why you got WHACKED in your match against Thunder Train. You crazy Brits think you can get away with screwing us over, it’s that kind of attitude that cost us Vietnam.”Ginger, the ACW fans in attendance and everyone watching at home all pull a face at Mainer’s VERY screwed idea of American history. Mainer doesn’t notice the face-palming going on and continues on a different tangent instead.Mainer Corleone: ”BUT. In my infinite awesome extent I’m willing to listen. What do you want?”Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] “No, what do you want?” Mainer Corleone: ”Screw it off Ginger, be forward with me.”Chairman Gingerdude: “No, I mean it. What do you want from Train. Why’re you hunting him down and have an armed Entourage?” Mainer Corleone: ”He has a trinket that belongs to me-“Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] “I’d say the International Title is worth more recognition then just a ‘trin-‘” Mainer fires his submachine gun in the air which sparks off a brilliant torrent of red and white fireworks which explode above The Chairman’s head, the fizzly fires and smoke sinking down towards The ACW Chairman. Ginger hits the deck in fright thinking he was being shot at, but Corleone had no such intentions and laughs at Ginger’s embarrassment. The crowd love it and chant for Mainer again.Mainer Corleone: ”As I was saying, Train has something that belongs to me. He has a rare, ancient artefact from a long-dead civilization which I want back. He has a rare amulet-“Chairman Gngerdude: “That stupid thing that lets him throw fireballs? Yeah, alright. I’ll give you your opportunity. Tell you what, let’s see what Train wants. TRAIN, GET OUT HERE!” Needing no entrance music, Thunder Train wanders out next to Mainer in nothing but a towel and shower cap, dripping from head to toe with warm shower water. The crowd are a little confused by this sight as well as The Chairman and Mainer but just like the Vietnam line, it goes ignored for the sake of getting this over with. The intensity between Mainer Corleone and his two thugs and Bat Train is at an all-time high as this appears to be the one time that Mainer can’t take his eyes off a near-naked man.Chairman Gingerdude: “Train… I won’t even ask why you’re dressed like that. What do you want?” Thunder Train: Wait what? YOU CALLED me out here. I dunno, a slice of cake? A shiny new sports car? THE CHANCE TO FINISH MY GODDAMN SHOWER?! Chairman Gingerdude: “No, what do you want from Mainer?” Thunder Train: His hair? Hell I dunno, what’re you EXPECTING me to say? He hasn’t got a title, he hasn’t got a nice personality and he’s nowhere near as good looking as me… Hell I think I’m superior to him in every single way, what could I possibly want from that aggressive little guy that got beat up by Rawt last week? Mainer takes deep offence to Train’s scalding comments and waves his gun in his general direction while going onto rant about him.Mainer Corleone; ”May I remind you just who it was that stopped you getting yourself humiliated at the hands of our less then skilled Chairman, fat-ass. That International Title would be his and not yours if it weren’t for me you ingrate.”Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] “CHILDREN! Settle down, now, Train, I assume you want to keep your amulet and your title in your hands right?” Thunder Train: Well duh. Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] ”And I presume you want both those items from Train, correct Mr. Mainer?”[/color] Mainer Corleone: ”You know it.”Chairman Gingerdude:[/color] “Alright, with that said then Mainer at Spring into Hell it’ll be you against Train for the International Title and that stupid amulet. However, such a big match will need an even bigger stipulation. So, how about we settle that one this way. Next week, both of you will pick yourselves a tag team partner and you’ll have a tag match on Monday night. The winning team will get to pick the stipulation. How does THAT sound?” Mainer Corleone: ”Sounds good.”Thunder Train: Alright. Chairman Gingerdude: “Also, before you go let me warn you both. If EITHER of you lay a finger on the other between now and Spring into Hell outside of the tag match you’ll be suspended without pay for a month. Do I make myself clear you two?” Mainer Corleone: ”Yeah.”Ginger and Mainer both look to Train who has this huge-ass grin and big glowing eyes as he struggles to contain his amusement. Unable to hold in the temptation any longer he puts a finger on Mainer’s face which lasts about a second before Corleone shrugs him off. Giggling like a school girl, Train sprints backstage as the screen turns to black with Mainer and Gingerdude both pissed off and unamused at the ending while the crowd LMAO at what just happened. Who will both men choose as their tag partners to try and win that stipulation choice for Spring into Hell? We’ll see on Monday. One thing is for sure though, Train’ s partner will probably be Jake Steele. Just kidding, IT’S ALL UNPREDICTABLE. FADE
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:16:38 GMT -5
Segment: Machoin' It Up (Credit: Hollywood Mach)
We come back from commercials to see RDK backstage with Kevin Anderson, in another one of their classic interviews. The crowd cheer and jeer simultaneously, some excited for the Macho promo while others simply just hate his guts! The Mach adjusts his signature sunglasses and takes a breath before Kevin speaks into his mic.
Kevin: Hello Macho Man Arrr--
RDK puts his palm out in a stop motion, Kevin stops speaking.
Hollywood: Brudah - you're wearing THAT?
RDK points at Kevin's tie - its a pretty standard one..
Kevin: What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
Hollywood: Brudah - can't you TELL that your tie's too white!?
Kevin looks it over
Kevin: ....Well then maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
RDK gives Kevin a thumbs-up...
Hollywood: WELCOME BACK TO THE AGE OF JIVE!
RDK pats ol' Anderson on the back and turns around to see his favorite waitress from his favorite diner....lookin' lovely today she is - the one and only Lana. Waitressin' ain't easy - and neither is getting into the ACW Backstage area! The two have been datin' ever since they met a couple months ago and RDK licks his lips and pushes Kevin out of the way when he sees her.
Hollywood: Where have you been hidin' out lately honey?!!
Lana blushes and is about to speak but RDK cuts her off as Kevin falls on the floor from RDK's shove.
Hollywood: Ya can't go dressin' trashy till you spend alotta money!!
The Mach tugs at Lana's low cut skirt. He licks a part of his lip and looks her in the eyes as she blushes again and looks down at the ground.
Lana: Everyone's been talkin' about Jake Steele...
RDK cracks a smile..
Hollywood: ...Funny - but he's just another jabrone to me!
The Mach puts his hand behind Lana's back and guides her as he and her walk to the back and go through the exit doors to the ACW Staff Parking Lot(leaving poor Kevin behind)....Lana cringes at RDK's 1991 Crown Victoria. The Mach cocks an eyebrow in response...
Hollywood: What's the matter with the car I'm drivin'?!
Lana: Can't you tell that it's out of style?
Hollywood: ...Should I get a set of white wall tires?
Lana laughs and shakes her head...
Lana: What? Are you gonna do*laughs*, cruise the miracle mile? Nowadays you can't get too sentimental - your best bet is a true and baby blue continental...
Lana rubs the back of The Mach, he turns away...
Hollywood: Hot funk, cool punk - even if it's old junk sistah, its still gonna be NUMBER ONE to me!
RDK looks back at Lana and looks her in the eyes once more, hands over her shoulders...
Hollywood: So why did your sexy ass come to see The Mach?
Lana: Wanted to wish you good luck babe - that's all.
Lana winks and kisses RDK on the cheek, The Mach loves this - and takes full advantage by going in for his own frencher...OOOOH YEAAH! It isn't long before Lana has to force out of The Mach's powerful lips so that they can get on with it already.
Lana: Oh my....mmmm, there'll be plenty of that later tonight once you win your match big boy....and of course...once you win the world title.
Hollywood: You bet your sexy mamma ass that I'm gonna win the title! OoOoH Yeaah! Now donka donka your ass on outta here!
RDK slaps Lana on the bottom and gets her to scram before he makes his way back to the backstage area, presumably to get that interview with Kevin goin'....hopefully..
Fade Out
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:17:33 GMT -5
Segment: Do You Have My Back? (Credit: The Road Steelers - ALL OF US!) We open inside of the locker room where a majority of the ACW gold is. In a rare moment, all the Road Steelers are actually together for once. Lee sits comfortably on the couch with his half of the tag team titles. Train stands, leaning against the wall with his title hanging so delicately off his shoulder. Jake Steele stands in front of both men with both of his titles around his waist pointing at a dry eraser board that stands behind him with what looks like basketball plays.Jake Steele: And dat's whats gonna happen when we fight da MegaStar Alliance later today during the ACW Basketball game. Any questions?Lee raises up his handJake Steele: Whoa, wait a second Lee. Remember... YOU ASIAN SO YOU CAN'T PLAY BALL! JUST PASS IT TO US! PASS TO TRAIN, HE DUNKS, PASS IT TO ME, I SHOOT A THREE AND IF YOU EVER FEEL THE NEED TO SHOOT... PASS IT TO WILL.Steele and Train give a ballin' high five. Lee facepalms.Lee: FYI: Bitch, whose game you gonna be dissin’, huh? You tha 20th best basketball playa in a predominantly white company, so you best shove it. I wuz talkin’ ‘bout the match tonight. You got any strategies for that, oh wise one? Jake Steele: I got dat shit covered.Steele flips the board over to reveal....more basketball plays.Jake Steele: AIGHT NIGGAS SO WE GONNA GRAB KISS FIRST AND THEN WE GONNA BEAT HIS ASS. THEN WE GONNA TAKE XS3 AS SHOWN HERE IN DIAGRAM 3.4. AND THEN WE TAKE THAT FATASS STARR AND FUCK UP HIS SHIT!Lee: How tha fuck you gonna consider that a strategy? A monkey in front of a typewriter coulda come up wit dat! Train walks over to Lee and gets in close.Thunder Train: WROOOOOOOOONG!Train walks back to his spot.Jake Steele: Trust me Lee. All dis shit is gonna work out perfectly. Any more questions?Thunder Train: Why the hell did Myammee win I Love Money? She was a minor character the whole show!Jake Steele: Another good question Train. See, I think it's because VH1 wants to put women in a place of power when they should be in da kitchen power workin' to fix me a sandwich! On da other hand, she do got a fat ass... dat might have helped too. Thunder Train: Fair enough. I got another question for you Steele, where were you last week when that idiot Danny Mainer attacked me?Jake Steele: What da fuck you talkin' about?Lee: Shit, man, I ain’t wastin’ no mo of my life with dis trifling shit. Jake Steele: No, sit.Thunder Train: Oh come on Steele, you have plenty of time to make sure that you and Lee retain the tag titles but when my ass needs help, you turn a cold shoulder.Jake Steele: Live and Learn!Thunder Train: THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT!Jake Steele: Train, don't be dat way. You know dat if I could I would have been out there for you in a instant boy.Thunder Train: It seems that recently, you HAVEN'T been able to help me with anything. I'm a member of this group, but it seems like every day I have to go at it on my own. So you know what, I don't even need your guys' help out there tonight. I'll beat all three of those chumps myself.Jake Steele: I'm not gonna let you do dat dawg.Thunder Train: Oh yeah, and who's gonna stop me?Jake Steele: Me...Steele and Train get right in each others faces. They are nose to nose and it looks like things may boil down in the Road Steelers, but Lee hops up off the couch and breaks the two apart.Lee: Now, simmer dow--I SAID SIMMAH DOWN NOW! Do I seriously gotta remind you fools that we’s a team here? The entire reason I joined up wit ya’ll in the first place was the unity. Any idiot can figure out that as a single unit on the same page, we unstoppable. Now what’s happenin’? Punk ass bitches like XS3 are pickin’ up and leavin’. We have lasted longer than all the others. OCW, New Upper Echelon, and we will probably outlast that MegaCanucker team as well. WE ARE BROTHERS DAMMIT! Thunder Train: That's what I thought. That's what I thought....Train turns around and kicks the door open. He leaves with his title, turning his back on his friends and partners. Steele just shakes his head and sighs while Lee gives a “Hey, at least I tried” look. Steele sits down on the couch and continues a discussion with Lee that we can't hear because we are fading out...
Fade out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:18:02 GMT -5
Segment: Let's Try That Interview Again! (Credit: Hollywood Mach)
RDK is show standing by with Kevin Anderson, who expects a real interview this time. Kevin pops a question...
Kevin: So, now that your...whatever she is has left us...tell us Macho, what is your motivation? I think all the fans wanna know what makes you tick - since they really don't seem to like you...
RDK slaps Kevin across the face and takes his mic, before pointing a finger at him. Kevin cowers and covers his face...
Hollywood: Shut your moth brud! I'll tell you EXACTLY what my motivation is!
RDK whips out a harmonica and begins to play it - Kevin looks on in confusion as RDK begins to tell a story....
Hollywood: It's Nine O'Clock on a Saturday! Regular crowd shuffles in....there's an old man sittin' next to me - makin' love to his tonic and gin!
RDK continues to play the harmonica and pats his lap, Kevin pipes up...
Kevin: Hey---
Hollywood: HE SAYS SING US A SONG - YOU'RE THE MACHO MAN - SING US A SONG TONIIIIGGGGHT!!!
Kevin throws his mic on the ground and RDK drops the harmonica in atonishment...
Kevin: THAT'S A SONG!
Hollywood: Yeah...ITS MY SONG!
Kevin: ...I don't think so.
Hollywood: What's it to your Jemima ass?!Know Your Role Jabroni!
RDK picks up the mic and kicks the harmonica across the lobby
Hollywood: Ya see, I can afford another one of those cause I'm a Mach...you...you can't! So twiddly twiddly and chickity china your ass on down to the local corner mart, here - the Mach will give ya some change...
RDK gives Kevin Anderson some change, Kevin again looks at The Macho Man confused...
Hollywood: Buy yourself the biggest pizza sub you can find, and I MEAN the biggest - not some pint-sized horse shit! I'm talkin' all the way to the top! Ya dig me brudah?
Kevin: Yes I--
Hollywood: Do you DIG ME BRUDAH!?
Kevin: Yes! I DIG!
Hollywood: Good...now you find that pizza sub, open up the wrapper - and I'm talkin' just rippin'...you gotta rip that shit! Once you're through with that - pay for the damned thing, bring it on over back to The Macho Motel - check in to the proper accomodations...AND STAY OUT OF THE MACHO MAN'S AFFAIRS! YOU'RE AN INTERVIEWER - NOT AN INTERROGATOR! NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT MOTIVATES THE MACH EXCEPT FOR THE MACH HIMSELF - NEXT QUESTION, BRUDAH!
Kevin looks broken from RDK's whiplash of verbal beatings....but no interview sells seats better then that of The Macho Man RDK...so he continues...
Kevin: ...Alright. You defeated Dave Shadow on Warfare in an exciting sub-main event, falls count anywhere! Were you happy with the overall results?
Hollywood: Well I won didn't I!?
Kevin: You sure did...but are you satisfied with the victory?
Hollywood: The Mach is NEVER satisfied! That Dave Shadow is a real yard sale! A Slice and a half....The Mach knows he'll meet his donkey-ass in the ring again, and when he does - It's gonna be the same result - with a bigger beatin'! OoOoH Yeaaah!
Kevin: Well I'm sure his friend Thunderkiss won't appreciate that too much!
Hollywood: Thunderkiss? Lemme tell ya somethin' bout the Kiss brud...there ain't no Thunder to it! The Mach has seen the Kiss, hes wooped his ass on a number of occasions - and believe me, he ain't nothin' special! The fact he was able to toss over crumpetboy's Welsh ass over the top rope means about as much as Thunder Train's reign as the ACW International Champ...damn he has a fat ass!
Kevin: Some strong words there, Mach. Dan White eliminated you from the royale...and it is his brother you will be facing at Spring Into Hell...in a Last Man Standing Match! You have participated in 2 of these before, both with less than satisfactory results! Your thoughts?
Hollywood: The Mach IS the lord and master of the ring, Kevin. The last thing you need to be askin' me is how I FEEL or THINK! The Mach just KNOWS, alright brud? The Mach has whupped Steele's ass before - and The Mach has been a world champion before! The Mach knows how it goes - and the Mach definitely knows how it flows! The Mega Star Alliance is behind me absolutely one hundred percent on this one Kev, and I'll be damned if I'm just gonna let it all slip away! YEAH!
Kevin:...Alright then. Moving on, tag-team action against Jason Free---
Hollywood: Ya know what brud? I'm through with this - The Mach has got other things to do, I can tell ya that much right now! If any of you jabronis wanna see me later, you'll see me and my main Canadian brudah - Jonny Spade in action against a couple of rejects I've barely had the pleasure of knowin'! OOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Macho strikes a flex pose before shoving Kevin out of the way as he did earlier and the scene fades out....
Fade...
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:18:52 GMT -5
Segment: Fire in the Blood, War in the Ring (Credit: Freeman / Latino / AK)
The camera fades in to show the ACW chairman already inside of the ring! He wastes no time getting to the point. As soon as his music fades, he begins speaking.
Ginger: I’m out here right now so I can address a recent situation involving a member of our ACW roster. Jason Freeman, if you would please make your way to the ring right now…
There’s a brief pause, and then “Ugly” by The Exies hits the speakers. Freeman wastes no time making his way out from behind the curtain and down the ramp. He looks into the ring, where Ginger stands waiting, before going and grabbing a microphone. Freeman smirks, as he enters the ring, and looks at the chairman with mock curiosity. The fans boo, yet Freeman pays no notice. He waits until his music fades and then he speaks.
Freeman: Well, this is certainly a surprise. I must say, Ginger, that I was preparing for my match when you called me. Quite the inconvenience.
The crowd boos Freeman; Ginger regards him coolly.
Ginger: That’s enough from you, Freeman. I called you out here for a reason, and that’s because of your behavior as of late. I have been busy enough with other matters that dealing with you was not my number 1 priority…even after your actions at Fallen Heroes, when you assaulted various members of the ACW staff, including DDTing one of our announcers onto the floor. Now, however, things have gone too far. Your situation with the Laureanos has already gotten out of control, and this time I am not just about to let it slide. Just so the fans know what I’m referring to, I regret to announce that the Laureanos’ house was set on fire Monday night, although luckily nobody was harmed.
This is news to many of the fans, who mumble to each other. Freeman shows no emotion on his face, and it is impossible to tell what he is thinking. He just cocks his head and glances at Ginger as Ginger talks, before Freeman raises the mic.
Freeman: Hm. Interesting that you put it like that, Ginger. “Set on fire.” I would have worded it more like “Caught fire.” Sometimes, unfortunate accidents happen.
Ginger: Oh, an unfortunate accident, huh?I seem to recall quite clearly from the tape playbacks that you referred to setting up a “surprise” for Latino and his family last Monday?
Freeman: Oh, did I? Now why would I say something like that?
Ginger: Don’t start playing games with me Freeman, because---
Freeman: And how would I have accomplished something like that? As you know I had an Entertainment Title match that night. I certainly wrestled in that match, and did you forget that ACW was on tour? What… did I have some clone wrestle for me? I’m not a fan of conspiracy theories, Ginger.
Ginger: Neither am I. But considering that you are usually the first person to arrive and make use of the complimentary minibar in our tour hotels, the fact that you were extremely late checking in this weekend means you had plenty of opportunity to take a “detour”.
Freeman: Well, I don’t know how you reached that conclusion. Perhaps I just went on a cultural tour of area? Spain is quite the renowned destination for such things. Nevertheless, it is quite the strange coincidence. What an interesting situation...
He takes a minute to contemplate this new development.
Freeman: I suppose it IS possible, isn’t it? And that would match up nicely with what I said on Monday, I suppose. Hmm….quite intriguing.
Ginger: So…so…you’re no longer even denying it?!
Freeman: Who said I was denying anything?
And Ginger glares at Freeman, who looks back not bothered. The fans are booing louder now, because Freeman doesn’t even seem to be denying the fact that he did this. Of course, it was obvious from the start that this was his handiwork, but to see him so coolly shrug it off, as if it’s no big deal, is infuriating. Even his half-hearted denials were obviously sarcastic. Freeman obviously has no regret at all, and is treating this whole conversation as a joke, or a game. And as infuriating as it is to the fans, it’s twice as infuriating to Ginger.
Ginger: Well, Freeman, in that case---
Freeman: You know what? If Atomic Kitsune has any suspicions as to who this is, why don’t you tell her she can confront me herself? I mean, after all, it is more her business than yours. This has nothing to do with you – no offense…boss.
And just as looks like Ginger is going to snap, a familiar voice comes from the Alphatron.
Latino: Alicia has nothing to say to you. But I do, pendejo.
And Freeman turns, curiously, towards the ‘tron, to see Latino’s face on the screen. The fans cheer, yet Freeman doesn’t seem to react much at all. He seems amused more than anything.
Freeman: Well, Latino, what a pleasant surpr---
Latino: You seem to think this is amusing, jefe? Our home is gone. My family, my own children, could have been badly hurt, even killed.
Latino’s voice is calm. Dangerously calm. Freeman smirks.
Freeman: Well let’s thank the heavens that they’re alright then.
Latino: They may be fine, but the same is not going to be true of you much longer, Freeman. I’ve stayed at home to sort out this whole situation, which is lucky for you, because come Monday, I’ll be calling on you in person.
A pop comes from the crowd.
Freeman: Latino, if I were you, I just wouldn’t get involved. You see, this is between me and your wife, and that is all. There is no reason for you to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong. As I said, I will easily discuss with this Atomic Kitsune, but not with you. Why don’t you just stay where you are-
Latino: What don’t you get about this?! My wife wants NOTHING to do with you, and once her mind is made up, wild horses won’t change it. I however, am a little more…hot blooded! No matter what she says, I’m coming for you. LATINO is your problem now. You threatened my family before, and that was one thing, but after this? I want you at Spring into Hell, and you’re going to pay in BLOOD for what you did. I may not be a member of the active roster, but Ginger, I am BEGGING you – BEGGING you – to sanction this match!
The fans pop, but that’s not what Latino’s looking for right now. He glares so fiercely that Freeman has to be feeling it. Freeman shakes his head, seeming to shake off the whole situation, but he feels the eyes of Latino searing into him. Ginger considers this request.
Ginger: Well... let’s put this one to a public vote. Who wants to see this match take place?
The fans pop once again, their answer crystal clear, and now all eyes go to Freeman. How is he reacting to this? And his reaction is actually a bit unnerving. He has a hint of a smile on his face, and he returns Latino’s gaze. He is silent for a period of time, but he finally speaks softly.
Freeman: Are you sure you want to do this, Latino?
And a silent staredown
Latino: More than anything. You are going to pay us all back, Freeman.
Freeman: Then so be it.
The crowd pops again. Ginger seems satisfied.
Ginger: WELL then, I don’t think I need to do anything about you at all, Freeman, because I trust Latino will take care of it himself, and that’s good enough for me. At Spring into Hell, it will be Jason Freeman, against Latino!
The fans once again pop, as the Alphatron fades, the last image still that hate-filled glare from Latino. Freeman walks up the ramp, and to the backstage area, followed by Ginger. So the match is set! Will Latino get some revenge? Or is this a mistake on his part? Has Freeman gone too far? Will he be put into his place? Well, order Spring into Hell to find out!
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:19:35 GMT -5
Segment: The Pablo Crisis, Part 4: Reunited, and It Don't Feel That Great
Walking out of the police station after what seemed like an eternity is quite a pleasant feeling, as Lee walks out along side of his lawyer.
Lawyer: They have no real evidence to prove that you were related to any of those deaths, so I really won’t worry much, you should be fine.
Lee: I know, I know. Wasted half of my day in that shit hole.
Lawyer: Sorry about my delay, no one informed me until much, much later. That officer is going to have quite a lot on his plate.
Lee: I bet.
Lawyer: What the hell was that all about anyways?
Lee: He was asking for it. Lucky I didn’t beat the crap out of him.
Lawyer: That’d be another lawsuit though. Smart choice.
Lee: Heh.
Lawyer: Honestly though, between you and me...have you ever killed anyone? It won’t change how I see you as a human being, but I am curious, you know.
Lee looked at him for a while, almost like staring through him, before replying.
Lee: For what it’s worth, no I never killed nobody. Came close to doing so many times, but I always stopped myself from pulling the trigger, so to speak.
Lawyer: How do I know you’re telling me the truth?
Before Lee realized it, he answered that question the same way Pablo answered him whenever he asked something like that.
Lee: You don’t.
Just then, Lee’s mobile phone rings again. Lee nods at his lawyer telling him that he can leave now, as he walks the opposite direction and pulls out his phone, and presses the answer button, knowing who is at the other side of the line.
Lee: What are you trying to do, Pablo?
Pablo: I assume that ju had fun with the Pilla?
Lee: What is it you want with me?
Pablo: Everything, Lee. Everything.
Lee: Everything? Look, I’m tired of playing your fucking games, Pablo.
Pablo: Running out of patience, aren’t we? Well I’ve got news for ju, pendejo, while ju were out there being some kind of superstar, I was behind bars, esse, eating molded bread and shitty food like I am some kind of animal. Juu get that? I was patient for seven years, esse. I am sure Juu can wait a little while longer, puede usted?
Lee clenches onto his phone, holding it so tightly that it looked as if it was going to burst anytime now. If only Pablo was in front of him right now...
Pablo: Why so quiet, Lee? I almost miss the threats Ju kept screaming towards me for every one of our conversations, haha.
Lee: I want to speak to Courtney.
Pablo: And I want to become king of the universe and have a pet as cool as Garfield. Doesn’t mean I am going to get it, mm esse?
Lee: I need to know she is okay.
Pablo: She is fine, juu have my word for it.
Lee: For some reason I am finding it hard to take your word seriously.
Pablo: Juu don’t have much of a choice, do you? The sooner you stop pretending like you are in charge, the easier this will be for juu.
Lee: I swear to God--
Pablo: --that if I touch her, ju will go through every corner of the world and ju will find me, rip my heart out of my chest, stuff it down my throat and shoot a bullet through it. Yes yes, I’ve heard it already. It really gets tiring after a while.
Lee: I don’t make idle threats, Pablo. You of all people should know that.
Pablo: Which is why I have Courtney with me in the first place, juu see? I think about everything before I do it, and that is the difference between me and Juu.
Lee: The only difference between me and you is that unlike you, I am not some morally corrupt scumbag who haven’t done a decent thing in his life to justify the air that he breathes. That’s the difference.
Pablo: No, no. Usted tonto obstinado. Juu should’ve thought about leaving before juu did it. Think about it, we could’ve done great things together holmes, but juu had to throw it away, didn’t juu? Never much of a team player.
Lee: Just because I’m tired of fighting your fights and wanted to have a life on my own? Fuck you Pablo, I don’t owe you shit. You of all people shouldn’t be talking about being a team player.
Pablo: Wrong, Lee. Juu owe me everything. I made JUU. I made Juu who Juu are today.
Lee: You didn’t make me jackshit. You should be thanking me for winnin’ yo ass all that money before I decided I had enough of that bullshit.
Pablo: Look at Juu, Lee, look at Juu. Big ACW superstar, Juu think it could be possible without me? Where did Juu get so tough, eh? Not doubting Juu’re natural gift but after everything I’ve invested into Juu, people are bound to notice how good Juu is.
Lee: Whatever, I’m sick and tired of playing your games, you fucktard. What the fuck do you want from me?
Pablo: I need Juu to run an errand for me.
Lee: I am not your fucking errand boy.
Pablo: I am not asking Juu. I am telling Juu. Unless Juu don’t care about Courtney anymore?
Lee: Promise me you will not touch her.
Pablo: Like I said, Juu have my word.
Lee: How do I know if I can believe that?
Pablo: Juu don’t.
To be continued.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:20:42 GMT -5
Match: Senator Steve Phillips vs. Gary: Legalized Murder (Credit: Senator)
Sometimes, the end of a journey does not result in the conclusion one desired...
Maxwell McNally: Generally, I would be in fine spirits during the course of an ACW program. Tonight, however, this is not the case.
“Fast” Eddie Edison: Yes, although I usually delight in broken bones, screams of pain, and concussions, we’re gonna be witnessing something worse than that, Legalized Murder, by name.
McNally: Steve Phillips already defeated Gary in a joke of a match on our last show, now it seems that wasn't enough to prove his point that things have changed, that he has changed, and in my opinion, for the worse. Now, to the long time ACW fans out there, Gary is a unique individual. There's never been a challenge he's not faced with gusto. He's not met an opponent that he's truly been afraid of.
Edison: But tonight, he should be...even if he's probably as fearless as ever. Max, Gary's smaller than I am! He's a scrawny little airhead, but he never let that stop him! This isn't right!
McNally: I know, I know...
Phillip Jones: This next bout is an unsanctioned match, and is held without the approval of Alpha Championship Wrestling or the European Union. The rules are simple: two men enter the ring, and only one leaves with his life intact. The first participant in this Legalized Murder match is an ACW veteran, with wins over multiple ACW World championship holders to his name, the one, the only, GARY!
"Loser" plays over the PA system, and the usually hapless jobber strides out onto the entranceway, waving a fist in the air, and a big grin on his face as he goes down to the ring, slapping hands with the few people who aren't too hesitant to do so. Before long, "Hail to the Chief" plays, and the theme is met with a low roar of disapproval, with a definite aura of discomfort about the arena.
Phillip: His opponent, hailing from Washington DC, Senator Steve Phillips.
McNally: Yes, Phillip Jones is biased in his ring announcing, but barring some unexpected turn of events here, can you blame him for giving Gary his proper respect?
The Senator walks down to the ring, his head set in a low stare towards the ring, his arms by his side. ACW security surrounds the ringside area, facing outward, both as a sign that they will have nothing to do with the match, but also to prevent any interference from the crowd or anyone else who may get out of hand. Instead of a referee, ACW head medic, Dr. Trace Gibson signals for the bout to begin, before withdrawing to a seat on the outside of the ring.
***Bell Rings***
Gary, without even a thought to the danger, walks right up to his opponent, and flexes his scrawny muscles. The Senator emotionlessly responds with an elbow to the head, dropping Gary to the mat. The Fallout veteran rolls back up to his feet, only to be knocked into the ropes with a precision roundhouse to the head. Gary tries to recover, but the Senator mauls him with knees to the midsection, backs up, and sends him flying through the ropes with a short range Partisan Kick.
Edison: Things were bad enough in the ring, but now that they're outside, the potential for danger only grows.
The Senator rolls under the ropes, and picks Gary up, without missing a beat, he lifts his opponent up in a rear facelock, hoisting him up in the air for a few seconds, before dropping Gary on his back to deliver a sheer drop Death Valley Bomb, completing the Victory Driver I on the unforgiving floor!
Edison: Sorry, no calls of "dangerous" for this match, I'm not in the mood.
McNally: This isn't the time to thrill at death defying maneuvers, not for this match.
Edison: Max, that's what I just said! I'm not going to hype this up at all!
McNally: I know...I know.
Phillips gets up with ease, this time, picking Gary up and clocking him with an elbow, sending him stumbling over to the far guardrail. Without missing a beat, the Senator runs over, hitting a Washington Lariat as Gary turns around, flipping him over in the process. The Senator hardly stops there, and this time drags his opponent to his feet, this time, hitting a high angle side backdrop suplex, driving Gary's head into the floor.
Edison: Disgusting.
McNally: I think that the Senator wants to make the point that he doesn't need weapons to inflict terrible damage onto his opponents.
Phillips continues his onslaught, unleashing a series of mounted punches, methodically opening a cut on Gary's forehead, at which point, he jumps to his feet. With an insane bit of inspiration, the Senator drags Gary over to the steel steps, draping him over, head down, before repeatedly stomping down on his opponent's head, bringing his boot down over and over, until a visible pool of blood forms on the metal surface.
McNally: I almost want to go out there and stop this myself, but apparently, all ACW employees are forbidden from interfering, and I doubt I could help.
The Senator, having tired of his stomping, goes to roll Gary off the steps, only to receive a desperation series of punches to the midsection! Gary, literally fighting for his life, staggers to his feet, throwing more and more punches, knocking Phillips back into the apron, and steps back, winding his arm up for a classic Bolo Punch...only for the Senator to respond with a straight right of his own, knocking Gary back down.
Edison: Nice try, I gotta say.
McNally: Agreed, although it feels a bit strange cheering for either man here, even as outmatched as Gary is, if he wins, it's by the same way that Phillips could win.
Steve Phillips looks over to the now-bloodied steel steps, and again is struck with a devious idea, and without a little bit of effort, throws both sections of the steps into the ring. He then enters the ring, setting both steps up parallel with the ropes, before heading back outside, and lifting Gary onto the apron, feeding him through the ropes, so that his head rests against the top step, wedged into the steel object.
Edison: He wouldn't dare...
Phillips then re-enters the ring, backing into the corner as he looks across, setting up just right for his target...and runs forward, delivering a low angle AIG Knee, blasting Gary's head into the step, and sending the top section clattering halfway onto the mat!
Amazingly enough, as Gary slumps down into the ring, with a new cut against the side of head, he still shows remarkable signs of life, as he tries to push up off the bottom half of the steps. Incensed, Phillips rushes over, kicking Gary in the side of the head, before bending down, and rolling him over, right into a Tax Cut elevated half crab. He only momentarily stops there, as he then turns inward, pulling both of his opponent's feet over his shoulders...
McNally: This looks like...it looks like the...
Edison: Nuclear Option...and on the steel steps. Hell, even on the mat, this could end someone's career, but on the steps, no, just no! I can't stay here and watch this!
McNally: You know that if you leave the table, security will stop you, and you'll just get fired. Don't do it.
Phillips steps over one arm, and then the other, completely locking in the initial submission phase of the most dreaded finisher in ACW history. He bends Gary backwards as he arches his back forward, letting the blood from Gary's head drip down onto the steps, pausing for a moment as the crowd looks on in dead silence...waiting a bit longer to savor the moment as he bends his legs and prepares to deliver the coup de grace...
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:30:42 GMT -5
...and then, without further ado, the Senator releases Gary's legs, and merely allows him to drop down to the mat, instead of maliciously jumping up and compressing his spine with a Nuclear Option finish.
McNally: Thank God!
Phillips motions for a microphone, and gets it. Some bloodthirsty members of the audience seem to be disappointed, although they are in the clear minority, and the bulk of the crowd appears to be more relieved than anything. Trace Gibson slides into the ring, motioning for the medical crew. As they arrive, he helps to situate him on a gurney, and the crew wastes no time in extracting the fallen Gary from the ringside area.
The Senator: You wanted to see that, did you not? You people wanted to see me crush Gary's skull, scramble his brains, demolish his vertebra, and leave him for dead! And in a pathetic way, I find it hard to blame you, for it is a fact that you have all been conditioned by individuals such as AC Evans, Thunderkiss, and Ridley to expect the worst, even to cheer for it! Alpha Championship Wrestling has presented the most despicable programming on television, and has allowed literal death and destruction to take place on air without even the slightest bit of concern from the whole sorry lot of you! You cheer for Gary one moment, the next, you thrill at his impending doom. Yes, Gary lives, but the conscience of this crowd is dead and buried. Half this roster could and should be convicted for homicide, but they achieve the status of cult heroes and role models amongst the degenerate bunch that makes up this crowd.
Phillips wipes a bit of sweat off his brow before continuing.
Senator: I once allowed myself to team with complete and utter scumbags, people like Andrew Hunter, Fallen Souls, Scott Andrews, and yes, Aiden Joseph. None of them would have hesitated in finishing Gary off if they were in this situation! I rationalized my choices by telling myself that although even being in the same room with such individuals could jeopardize my future in politics, they were loyal, ambitious, talented individuals in the ring, and as long as we saw past our mutual differences, we could work together. Of course, this was part of the thought process that allowed these types to take advantage of me, riding my coattails to their success, and topping it off with the now-clichéd betrayal!
The crowd especially seems annoyed with the last line, booing with ever so growing gusto as their initial shock from the match wears off.
Senator: You can't always get what you want, can you? Well, I shall tell you what you need! You need to break away from your mindless, sheep like, collective stupor, and realize that an individual striving for himself is a good thing! You need to turn yourselves away from the hypnotic glare of the television and think an original thought for the first time in your lives! Perhaps you could, horror of horrors, pick up a book and peruse through the pages, although, truth be told, I highly doubt that many of you have the mental capacity for such a drastic action! I look about myself here, and I see one big, teeming, homogenous mass of blithering idiots! You are the types of people who cheer on the likes of Jake Steele, Macho Man RDK, Thunderkiss, and all their ilk! I could inject myself full of steroids and drugs, go off on some psychotic rage, cut a promo full of unintelligible rhyming phrases in some incomprehensible dialect, and I would be just as popular as those individuals whom I just mentioned. Yes, if I dumbed myself down, if I turned off my brain, if I became as brutish and foul as the rest of that locker room, I could reach this lowest common denominator that ties you all together, but in my unflinching integrity, I refuse to do so.
I refuse to bow down before that fake idol that is your misdirected adoration, no matter what the cost, and that, my friends...is nothing...but the truth.
Fade Out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on May 7, 2009 16:31:54 GMT -5
Segment Save for XS3
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