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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:58:43 GMT -5
Title: Fuck da Cookie Sheet nigga. Credit: Chris Phenomenal and Hollywood Mach. With Thunder Train looking for Chicken Thighs and Jake Steele hanging with drag queens…err mackin’ dem hoes, there is only one group that is able to fill the void left on ACW.com, we now present you Sitting with the Stars! [/u][/size] Starring: Chris Phenomenal and Hollywood Mach[/center] The scene opens with Chris Phenomenal and Hollywood Mach sitting in a lizard lounge, drinks in their hands and beautiful women sitting beside them. Hollywood is so damn cool he is wearing his shades in doors, whilst Chris Phenomenal has his bandanna down around his neck and his hat on like a G. Chris Phenomenal: Well lads, fuck I’m already starting to talk like Dan White. Anyways, we were told that we would be given some air time to shoot the shit on ACW.com, and were given anything to talk about as long as Bob the Cameraman agreed to film it. Well needless to say Bob the Cameraman man went much the same way as Taylor for this project, so we have free reign over what we want to do.Hollywood: Yeah brudah, so we thought for about five minutes, not long and hard like the Road Steelers did, we took a break to look at Thunder Th…A bunny, we don’t have Thunder Thighs train so don’t bother storming in with a plastic knife again. Eventually we came up with something that was missing in ACW.[/color] Chris Phenomenal: A list of the top competitors over the past few weeks in ACW, kind of like a top 5 to show who has been kickin’ ass as of late. There is no bias what so ever involved, Mega Stars don’t do that.Hollywood: So without further ado we present to you the first ever Mega Stars nominees starting with Number 5... Hollywood: DAVE SHADOW.[/color] Chris Phenomenal: Despite losing at Genocide Dave Shadow made a statement this week, first interfering in the Dan White vs. Thunderkiss match, and then joining Deuces Douchebags with that ginger dude and his hella hot daughter.Hollywood: Don’t forget that other old fart, the one that thought he could be in a James Bond movie, what’s his name again?[/color] Chris Phenomenal: I don’t know for the life of me I can’t remember. Tatertots? Hollywood: I could go for some tater tots right about now, but still that’s not his name.Chris Phenomenal: Does it really matter?Hollywood: No!Chris Phenomenal: Then on we go with number 4...Hollywood: That Jabroni, he stole my title and held me at plastic knife point and he makes the list.Chris Phenomenal: We did promise to be objective and with wins over you and me in the past two weeks we just couldn’t keep him off the list.Hollywood: Alright Brud, but I propose a weight limit for this next week though.Chris Phenomenal: Are there even numbers that big?Hollywood: NO![/color][/b] Chris Phenomenal: I didn’t think so, but you’re the teacher and I wanted to make sure. Now once again on with the list too number three…
Chris Phenomenal: One of my pot smokin’ brethren XS3!Hollywood: I like this pick, it’s a good choice considering what he did to those jabroni’s over in the Road Steelers, that and he’s a Canadian. So X, if you’re watching, we’re rooting for ya Bruddah, and then at Omega Effect Five you can lose the title, to the one, the only, the greatest Bond villain in the world, the five time international champion, Hollywood Mach!!! [/color] Chris Phenomenal: Yeah man, that’s how we gon do when it comes to Omega Effect, first it’s going to be Chris Phenomenal, with the Entertainment title, then it’s going to be Rawt and Hollywood with the Tag Team titles, and then at the end of the night it’s going to be you holding the belt high, as we are all in the ring showing exactly who we are, that we run this shitHollywood: Yeah Brudah!Chris Phenomenal: And with that we go to number two.Hollywood: Jake Steele? Where‘s Rawt, because we all know Hollywood is number 1! Hehehehe.Chris Phenomenal: That may be Mach, but we had to remain semi neutral and chump stain there did defend his title against Fallen Souls at Genocide and retained it, retiring one of ACW’s biggest legends in the process and then the next week walked away with Tag Team Gold. I think he definitely deserves his spot here, even if he is from that stanky place we call Brooklyn, I mean you seen dem hoe’sHollywood: Yeah Brudah, You get what you pay for.Chris Phenomenal: Shoots and scores, and to all those in Brooklyn watching, you don’t like it suck Lil Kim’s nine and go listen to some real shit like Jim Jones.Hollywood: Well, we are almost done there, only thing left to reveal is number one, Hollywood Mach!Hollywood: No, what the hell, who is da jabroni that put this together, no Rawt, no Hollywood. This is some serious candy ass, rudy poo drive, class A bullshit.Chris Phenomenal: Yeah, I mean he’s English or some shit like that. All I know is he has bad teeth and a thirteen year old son. I mean I’m from the hood and I’m not even that ghetto.Hollywood: Yeah man, I mean he got his ass handed to him last week.Chris Phenomenal: He has been really impressive though, I mean he won the tables match, would have beaten Thunder Kiss if it weren’t for Double Deuce, and right royally ticked of Ginger so he didn’t notice I smashed his car. Hollywood: Well this is brutal! I‘m off to find whoever compiled this piece of work.[/i] With that Hollywood gets up out of the chair as the women on his left looks in awe at his rippling muscles underneath his shirt follow. Chris Phenomenal: Well I guess that raps up this week’s show, so to everyone out there, just remember.
We’re SuperstarsWith that the scene begins to fade as Chris turns around and looks at the awe inspiring blonde, as somewhere in the distance Mach is yelling at Tim the producer, pleading that he didn’t make the list.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:59:34 GMT -5
Segment: Movie Mayhem (Credit: Rawt)
The scene opens earlier in the day. Rawt enters a java-place for his morning coffee.
Rawt: Hello ma'am, how are you today?
Counter-woman: Hello sir, I am doing fine, and you?
Rawt: Great, great, just getting my cup of joe ya' know.
Counter-woman: Ah, and how much cream and sugar would you like in it?
Rawt: Double-double if you may.
Rawt waits patiently to the side for his coffee, checking out all the other customers in the java.
Counter-woman: Here you go sir.
Rawt doesn't react as he is still looking around.
Counter-woman: Sir?
Rawt turns around surprisingly to see the woman holding his coffee.
Rawt: Oh, deepest apologies, must have zoned out.
The woman smiles as she hands Rawt his coffee. Rawt smiles back and exits the java-place, towards the movie theater.
Boy#1: Oh my god, lets go see Narnia!
Boy#2: Noooo, let’s go see Barney!
Rawt stops in front of them in shock and slowly turns around.
Rawt: Hey barney boy!
The boy turns to Rawt. Rawt slaps the boy *Slap*![/b]
Rawt: No.
All the kids have opened mouths as Rawt turns to the doors and walks to the ticket booth.
Rawt: What movies are available?
Ticketer: 1 Barney, 2000 Narnia, 1234 Harry Potter.
Rawt: Oh fuck yeah, 1 for Barney please.
The ticketer stares at Rawt in surprise, then presses the Barney button.
Ticketer: Um, here you go sir. Enjoy your movie?
Rawt: Thank you, and I shall enjoy it.
Rawt leaves the theater balling his eyes out.
Rawt: WHY BARNEY WHY??? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO DIE!!?!??!? CURSE YOU BEN AFLECK!!!!
Rawt falls to the his knees and rips off his shirt.
Rawt: BAAAARRRRNEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!
The ushers turn to see what the commotion is, only to spot a grown man on the ground, crying.
Ushers: OK folks, move along, nothing to see here! Just follow the lights to the exit.
2 of the ushers grab Rawt, drag him out the door and throw him onto the streets.
Rawt: Give me Barney!
Male Voice: Get lost!
Rawt: Wha….? Why I otta! Aw screw it, I’ll just go back to the arena.
Rawt gets up from the ground like nothing happened and jumps into his Pontiac GTO and zooms down the highway to the arena.
Rawt parks in his parking spot and exits his car.
Rawt: Man, it’s good to be back.
Rawt stares at the arena entrance before walking through the doors.
Kevin: Ah Rawt, welcome back.
Rawt: It’s good to be back!
Kevin: But I must ask, I have just heard that you were crying on the streets after watching a cartoon movie this afternoon?
Rawt grabs Kevin's collar and yanks him into the air.
Rawt: It’s not just a cartoon...it’s Barney!
Fade Out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:00:04 GMT -5
Told You So Dan White Sweden, the land of hot babes and meatballs. And if you're from the United Kingdom, a series of flatpack furniture chains that many men have memories of, albeit it repressed as the majority of memories involve the endless loose screws, poorly-written instructions, and quite how they're going to fit all the parts of a bunkbed in an MG convertible, whilst in Newcastle, 58 miles from home. Okay, maybe that was just my dad.
Having earlier given a powerful speech into his thoughts and feelings about the “Zero Tolerance” stable that has been formed against his name, Dan White must certainly feel like he wants some revenge. He was screwed over pretty badly by Chairman Gingerdude, who in turn turned heel, along with Thunderkiss. But at the same time, he must feel a sense of achievement as he's gotten under the chairman's skin that badly, as the camera fades into his locker room, to see Dan sitting down on a chair, reading the “ACW Monthly Magazine”, with a picture of his brother, Jake Steele, as the front cover.Dan White: Heh, well he might be my blood, but he ain't gonna be holding that belt for much longer... He goes to stand up, approaching the door to the locker room. He tries to open it, but to his surprise and frustration, it's locked shut. Frowning, he pulls it harder.Dan White: For God's sake... He pulls it a third time, this time even harder, almost flying back. But alas, it still fails to open. This annoys Dan to no end, and the barrage of swear words are about to be unleashed.Dan White: THIS STUPID FUCKI- And then the lights go out. How splendid. Knowing what this means, Dan doesn't waste any time with the small talk.Dan White: All right then, you were right. I should have watched my back, yeah? He waits, and soon, he hears the voice he was waiting to hear.Voice: Well Dan, your observations are good, but if only you had foreseen this beforehand... Dan White: Yeah yeah, well I didn't, okay? And I got double-crossed yeah. I know what happened to me, I have these cuts all over my face to show for it. So are you going to tell me who you are? Voice: Heh, you know Dan, I a only here as a guiding light. If you want to know who I am for sure, then you are going to have to work that out for yourself. Frustrated, Dan launches into a fury.Dan White: Listen, I don't want to play any fucking games, yeah? I just want to know who the fuck you are, so I can use you to help me. That's what you're clearly here for, and you wouldn't piss me about just to fuck around with my head, would you? A lot of swear words there. If calcs were determined on how many swear words were used in a segment, then I'm either a guarantee for Fallen Heroes, or I'm the first elimination.Voice: Temper, temper, Dan. All I have to tell you is that I am a former employee of ACW. I have wrestled in the past, and I know the place more thoroughly than you can ever wish to know. Confused, Dan quickly draws conclusions.Dan White: ...Kross? Is that you? Did you die and become a Saint? Voice: Heh, your mind is good at calculations. Alas, I may be Kross, I may not. I may just be chimerical in your mind. A fantasy. An imagination. Dan White: ...The hell. You trying to tell me that I'm a schizo? Voice: I am trying to tell you that whatever I am, no matter what shape or form, I am clearly someone vital to you plans. I did, after all, elucidate you of the troubles that lay before you. Dan pauses; he doesn't quite know what to think about the entire situation, and he's pretty spooked.Dan White: ...So what do you need to tell me? Voice: Do not become a cormorant. Do not fulfill your ambitions with greed, and more importantly do not betray those around you. Another pause, this time one of frustration.Dan White: I meant tonight, oh voice of knowing more than I. What should I do about Shadow, Ginger and Thunderkiss? Voice: ...Oh. Well then, I suppose you would like to know of their whereabouts? Another pause.Dan White: ...Yes! Voice: Very well, then. They are at a place of luxury, a place where a man can truly be himself. A place of legal enjoyment. Dan White: ...A stripclub? There's no answer. Instead, the lights of the room switch back on, and the door unlocks. However as Dan held firmly onto the door all throughout the segment, he flies back, crashing to the floor. Already hurt from being attacked last Monday night, he gets up feeling his forehead.Dan White: Damn, that hurt. But enough about that. He's got revenge on his mind, and he switches his phone on, typing in a number. If you're not able to easily recognise phone tones, he dials “118 247”:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw_2IqWIpKk
And surprisingly, it works. It seems that they've branched out to Sweden. Impressive. Dan begins to speak to the phone operator.Dan White: Hello, phone operator? Give me the name of the finest stripclub in Stockholm. He pauses, allowing the operator to reply. The response isn't what Dan wanted, and he frowns as he responds.Dan White: Yeah well screw you too! He closes his phone in a huff, before speaking to himself.Dan White: Looks like I'll be finding this stripclub myself...and for once, I won't be paying my way in. If that was meant to be a one-liner that'd be remembered for being witty and funny, then Dan pretty much fails. But Dan's intentions are fondly clear, and Stockholm's city centre are going to witness a showdown of epic proportions.
Fade Out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:00:51 GMT -5
”Decision Time” Credit: Danny Mainer Lying in his motel room bed, Danny Mainer sits casually watching a just put in flat-screen, wallmounted HD TV with surround sound and all that glory enjoying some classic Steven Segal movies while a concerned looking Raymond King sits next to the bed on an arm chair rolling up a cigarette in one hand and pulling a lucozade bottle out of his bag with the other. Sighing with exhaustion he continues to fumble for his orange fizzy drink as he puts the filter into his smoke while Dan enjoys the blood-fuelled action-packed film that is Under Siege. A film so awesome in which it has Jimi Hendrix, an aircraft carrier with deadly capabilities and a stripper in a cake.
Danny laughs at every death, smirks at every line that can be constrewed as funny and cringes and laughs at every particularly nasty shot as Steven Segal tears shit up like he usually does. Ray on the other hand is looking concerned at what was once a fairly shitty apartment and is now a pimped out bachelor pad with all kinds of electronic and otherworldly gadgets and nice art and paintings. It is these lavish new decorations which causes the concern to build within Ray. All of this came from stolen money, the money that was stolen from Mei-Feng Shinoda’s casino in Las Vegas some months ago and of course there are two problems. People will ask where the money came from and eventually the cash will run out. So Ray has taken it upon himself to come up with some business decisions. He lights up his smoke and takes in a long drag sighing heavily and relaxing as the nicotine enters his system. Danny ignores this.Raymond King: ”Dan, I’ve been thinking. You’ve been spending this money at a ridiculous rate, a few months ago you had over one million dollars and now we have three hundred grand. I’m getting concerned because A), your accounts look like shite because as far as the government know you just magicked up a fortune and B) you have nothing to fall back on once that cash flow hits dry. Yeah you’ve got the wonga now but what happens when the last penny goes? What do you fall on then?”Danny picks up his remote and hits the pause button before twisting his head towards Ray.Danny Mainer: ”So what’re you saying we do then? Magic some more? Those Mexicans robbed one casino with glee, I bet we could get them to rob a bank…”Danny starts to drift off into his own fantasy world of a guy in a balaclava doing a Mexican Hat Dance while holding up a bank. He laughs to himself absurdly until Ray clears his throat, distracting him and derailing his train of amusing thought.Raymond King: ”No, what I’m saying we should do is use the three hundred grand you have left and get some businesses going. I’ve had some ideas but first what I want you to do is to use your business sense and pick any MEDC city in the world. That’s where we’ll set up HQ and start getting the money coming in. We can move this shit into a temporary apartment and get the fuck out of this place. I don’t think you want anything more to do with these Mexican cats. I’ve heard them talking about trying to take over a small village a few miles off of Pasadena in California. We don’t want to be here when that shit hits the fan.”Danny Mainer: ”What the fuck is an MEDC?”Raymond King: ”It’s an acronym, stands for More Economically Developed Country. Basically, countries like England, America, Japan, Canada. Rich places with plenty of disposable income. It ain’t a smart-move to try and start jewellery merchanting to the poor sods in Uganda if you get me.”Danny Mainer: ”I’m going to assume you’ve come up with some ideal cities as well as pro’s and con’s for each location?”Raymond King; ”Actually funnily enough yeah I have an-“Danny Mainer: ”And using the rule of three as is common feature in video games you’ve gone for two extremes. One city has cheap property and cheap development but less rich people to sell to and is more of an industrial kind of business ala car-manufacturing in Detroit or getting a steel mill operational in Pittsburgh…”Raymond King: ”You’ve been going through my files haven’t you?”Danny Mainer: ”No. Just a mad guess.”Raymond King: ”Well you’re bang on if I’m perfectly honest with you. That’s my American city ideas. Go into industry, make some jobs and make some noise. My median was to do something out in Australia and that was to open a security company in Canberra. Armoured cars, bodyguards, that kinda crap that paranoid fatcats hire because they think their meaningless lives are worth taking just ‘cause they have a wallet as thick as a Latina’s ass.”Danny Mainer: ”Interesting, so my company gets paid to insure the longetivity of some insecure fuckwits life? I like not the sound of that if I’m perfectly honest. I’d rather do something a little more fun.”Raymond King: ”The other option is to capitalize on the ever-growing nightlife industry of Tokyo. I’ve paid a lot of attention to their markets lately and having got some mates over there to organize an online poll what a lot of them want is a real dark and dirty, mad sexy nightclub in the heart of Tokyo. Sure, there’s plenty of them but my scouts have not only investigated into tastes but also found a prime location. It’ll take some time to get it operational but we can get this abandoned sewer system great hall type building into a working shape we can lead the premiere underground nightclub. A dark and sexy BDSM themed nightclub.”Danny Mainer: ”What’s the down side?”Raymond King: ”You’ve got me, the Yakuza will want a take of our profits but it’s not going to be an unfair amount. I’d say about five percent of monthly profit would be a fair estimate to make. If we contractually agree to something though before creation we can get say ten years of Yakuza only wanting five percent and yet in the here and now they’ll help us with funding, manpower and construction to get this place off the ground. If we do that they’ll also protect us from criminals and drunken asses. The beauty is, they’ll be just bodyguards so we’re not connected to criminal activity either.”Danny Mainer: ”Book the next flight to Japan. The Slaughter Gutter is open for business!”Raymond King: ”THAT’S the spirit! I’ll speak to my contacts and get you some accommodation over there. With the manpower we have with The Yakuza families which will probably compete for our interest we’ll soon have this place up and running. To get it ready to move into I’d give it about… ooh, two weeks or so?”Danny Mainer: ”Let the games begin.”Danny returns to watching his movies as Ray takes another drag of the ciggy as the screen turns to black. Danny is taking a new leaf on life and is now starting to expand his empire and his horizons. Off to the land of the rising sun, a nice little trip to Asia might even do him some good. God only knows what mayhem Danny could cause in the rising sun.FADE
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:01:25 GMT -5
OTA Segment: Don’t Worry Be Happy, pt. 1 Credit: Road Steelers: Steele and Train
The Road Steelers are a luxurious stable. Behind the athleticism, the strength, and their genius in-ring tactics, they really are one of the most dominant stables in ACW history. The Untoucables can fuck a goat. They are used to flying high, and having gold around their waist at all times. This is a well known fact, so you’re probably wondering why I’m telling all of you this. Well, because for some reason, Thunder Train and Jake Steele find themselves in another country. And it’s not Stockholm, Sweden. They seem to be being drove somewhere, but it’s hard to really see where, all we know is that Steele is fast asleep and Train is listening to his iPod. After hitting a bump, Steele is woke up and as his head begins to rise and his eyes open up, he begins to notice something is very off, but he can’t put his finger on it.
Steele: Where da… where da fuck we at Train?
Steele peeps around, wiping sleep from his eyes as he looks over to Train, who is rocking his head back and forth mouthing words to a song. Steele calls out to him again.
Steele: Train…
Steele stares over at Train, who must have the volume turned all the way up. Completely unaware to his buddy trying to ask him something, he continues to let his head rock. Steele gets tired of it quick, yelling now.
Steele: Train!
Train’s head pops up and his eyes open up a bit more. He nonchalantly pulls one of the headphones from his ear, and he responds.
Train: Hmm? What? Oh sorry, I had my iPod turned all the way up, jamming “LIKE A BAWSE”. What were you asking?
Steele: I was askin’… why… in da hell… ARE WE ON DA BACK OF A TRUCK!?
It can be seen now that the two are on the back of a pickup truck, with some bales of hay nearby. Driving over a bumpy road, the sun shines brightly onto the truck, beaming off of Train’s dome and onto Steele’s eyes, as he covers it up with his hand. Train looks left to right around him, not really noticing or caring how they arrived onto the back of a pickup truck without either of them knowing (and neither should any of you!)… they both seem confused, Train taking the other headphone out of his ear and stuffing the iPod into his pocket. He scratches his head, as he begins to think (lol, Train thinks)… and he’s got nothing. He does realize where they are though.
Train: Honestly, I have no idea… And I'm not sure why...but it’s JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!
Steele: …How da hell did we wind up in Jamaica!?
Train: I don’t kn- oh fuck...That's right...
Steele: What?
Train: Remember who booked ALL of our flights last month?
Steele stops to think. It doesn’t take him long to figure it out…
Steele: …XS3. Oh dat muthafucka think he slick. Bookin’ us to Jamaica like dat’s gonna stop us from makin’ it to Sweden. I’mma fuck his life u -- Wait… why didn’t Lee get booked to Jamaica too?
Train: He must have booked his flights super early, you know how efficient those Asians are. Like Cheng. And Bruce Lee. Or Fei Long...
Steele: Man, dis nigga drivin’ better be takin’ us to a hotel or something’. I need to get us booked back to where we need to be…
…And then the truck stops. The driver quickly hops out and pulls down the small fence like barricade that protected both Steele and Train from falling out of the truck. He starts tapping on the truck rapidly, and waving his hand backwards, basically trying to say he wants them out. Steele looks at him like he wants to tell him to shut the fuck up, but he’s going to be nice. So he picks up his suitcase, and begins to stand up. Although it seems that this specific driver doesn’t have any time to waste.
Driver: Cawmon now boys, get ya bumbaclot asses out dat truck! You been sleepin’ most of da ride! And ya fat ass friend held down da truck when I was tryin’ ta’ drive! Wake da fook up!
Steele: Aight, aight Mufasa, calm yo ass down! We out, we out!
Steele rolls his case out and hops off the truck. Standing a few inches away from the driver. He’s still impatient though, tapping his hand against the truck and now motioning for Train to come out.
Driver: You too fatass, get ya gorilla self out of dere!
Train: …I'm not fat....
Driver: Wait dah fuck you waitin’ on now, mon? You want me to feed yatoo? Nonono, get ya ass OUT!
Train doesn’t move from his spot, instead balling up his fist and trying his best to keep his composure.
Train: Steele…
Driver: Why you callin’ to him? I said get out f-
Steele jumps quick and puts his hand on the shoulder of the driver, giving him what could be his final warning.
Steele: Yo man, I think you should chill. He lookin’ pissed, and believe me you don’t want dat brah.
Driver: Like da fook I cere! Aye, FATASS! GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN’ TR- AHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHHH OH GAWWDDDD!!!
During his verbal abuse, Train, in almost unnatural speed for a man his size pops up and dashes on the truck, hopping off and pouncing onto the driver. Train begins to beat the shit out of him, his screams not lasting long. No… Train didn’t kill him. But he did fuck him up. Bad. Train stands up and beats on his chest, King Kong style.
Train: THE TRAIN AIN’T FAT! I’M ALL MUSCLE, WOO! OM NOM NOM!
Steele, shaking his head, looks around to see if anybody noticed it. A few people peep through their windows, scared, as Steele gets nervous and gets ready to leave.
Steele: Aye Train, let’s get out of here before more of these niggas pop up like Resident Evil!
Steele and Train throw their shit back into the truck and hop into the driver and passenger seats, quickly turning the key and driving off as the driver slowly raises his fist and tries to shake it, but in the process he breaks his wrist, the car long gone from the scene of the attack. A few hours later… Steele and Train arrive at what seems to be a huge hotel, placed smack dab in the middle of the beautiful island. As the car stops and both men hop out, they step into the warm sand and the sun continues to shine down onto them. It’s a beautiful sight if you ever saw one. Train points up ahead, not believing what he sees, he begins to run off ahead of Steele, who has to run off after him, wondering where the hell their going.
They stop, and standing outside of the hotel with a gigantic smile on his face is wrestling superstar, Kofi Kingston. Train begins to mark out.
Kofi: Hello mon’! Welcome to da islands! Of Jamaica!
Train: Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Jump over a ladder, jump over a LADDER!!! Where’s Mike Adamle!? DO THE LEG DROP THING!
Kofi: Heh, nono mon, see I got some time off from da “E”, so I’ve returned to my native land, and come back to help my momma and poppa with da family business. Da Hotel Anguta!
Steele: Anguta… why dat name sound familiar?
Kofi: We named it after our other side of da family, da Anguta‘s. You probably heard of them, one of them, my cousin was in ACW for a short while. You know? Sijweh!
Kofi, out of nowhere, begins dancing and clapping his hands as he moves left to right. Train laughs and Steele holds back laughter, as Kofi stops and nods his head.
Kofi: Yeah mon… him. Anyway, I’m here with you two, I want to show ya around da islands. Get ya acquainted all nice and cozy, then after dat we can go to da fire feast, which is a very sacred tribal tradition durin’ da early days of spring mon. Come! Let’s go.
Train: Wait, Kofi, let me ask you a question.
Kofi: Shoot mon.
Train: Where are you from?
Kofi: Ghana.
Train: I’M GHANA EAT YOU IN A SECOND! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Kofi just stares at Train, as Steele face palms. Kofi acts like he didn’t just...see...that (Oh thats Booker T), and he walks off into the hotel as the two follow. They walk for a few seconds, before reaching a elevator. Kofi presses some buttons and they go up on the elevator, to the top floor. They head to the room, as Kofi unlocks the door and shows off the extravagant and just awesome accommodations. Steele is taken back by it, as he walks in and checks out the beds, the bathrooms, and the free HBO after 8 p.m., Steele finishes his tour and peeps out the window. The wind smacking in his face, as he turns to Kofi and compliments him on his land.
Steele: Damn, dis place is nice man! Beautiful weather, clear ocean, and a ballin’ ass hotel. You got it made Kofi. Shit, I might even buy me a lil’ Road Steelers mansion out here for when I feel like gettin’ away one day… Yo Train, what you think?
Train feels the same, but not for any of that scenery bullshit. He saw the table of food and dug in, as he scoops up the table and lets the food fall into his mouth. Kofi watches on in shock.
Train: OM NOM NOM!
Kofi: Dat’s unnatural mon. Does he always eat like dat?
Steele: All day. Everyday. It bugged me out da first few times too, but ya get used to it. After a few months.
Kofi: I see.
Kofi watches as Train eats the table next. Whole.
Kofi: Wow. Okay. You two get ya shit ready, in a few hours it’ll be time for da feast. I’ll be back!
Kofi waves a temporary goodbye to his new friends as he leaves the room. Steele goes to the closet, and as he opens it up he realizes he forgot something.
Steele: Yo Train. Where our suitcases at?
Train: Oh… I forgot to tell you. They fell out the back of the truck. I saved a piece of pie though...then I ate it....mmm pie...
Steele: !
To Be Continued...
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:01:46 GMT -5
Chapter 1 : Stockholm Reunion Volume 1 : Contemplation
Credit: Jonny Hughes We are taken to the temporary locker room of The Empire, with the European Tour the ACW superstars don’t have as much time to spend in their locker rooms as they would back on ACW Island and as they move across Europe quicker than Hitler could have imagined they are being moved from locker room to locker room, each one varying in size and quality as the venues permit they find themselves with no time to make themselves at home. It turns out that this is one of the nicer locker rooms The Empire have had on the tour thus far, it’s not too small and it’s fairly clean, sure it doesn’t have all the mod cons of their regular locker room, there’s no plasma hanging on the wall and there’s certainly no X-Box 360 for them to play during their downtime but the room is still adequately equipped with all they could need for the one night they’re staying there. It is in this locker room that we find ‘Spitfire’ Jonny Hughes sat on the bench in front of his locker, being the only member of The Empire here without a match on the card Jonny finds himself in a supportive role to his team-mates and his locker reflects it and as we look inside we don’t see it full of the wrestling paraphernalia we are used to seeing in a Jonny Hughes locker and instead all we see is Hughes’ winter coat hanging on its own. Hughes is dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans and is wearing a simple black open collared shirt, since he’s not wrestling and doesn’t need to change into any ring gear he figured he might as well wear something nice.
Hughes is clutching some kind of object in his right hand and has his left hand placed firmly on his forehead and a contemplative look on his face. He opens his right hand and we see that is it is mobile phone that is clutching so vehemently, he slides open the phone and goes to his messages where he looks over his most recent text messages, underneath a couple from Jack Jefferson and Dan, who see the need to send any crude or offensive joke to everyone in their phonebook, is a message from Mum and one from an unknown number. He presses the enter button on the unknown number and looks over the message once again.Meet me tomorrow night at Stockholm airfield. It’s important. [/b] He carefully studies the message. Taking his time to read each words carefully before resting the phone down on the bench and turning and lying down on the bench, he runs his hand over his forehead as he thinks to himself.Who could this be from? I don’t know anyone from Sweden let alone Stockholm so who could it be that’s contacting me?He grabs the phone and looks at the message once again, his eyes fixed on the last line.It’s important [/b] What could be so important that it couldn’t be discussed over the phone? Why do they want me to meet them? Why couldn’t they just come to me and what is the significance of the meeting taking place at the airport?Jonny sits upright and swivels round on the bench. He’s confused about the nature of the invitation but finds himself strangely drawn towards the meeting, no matter how much he tosses theories and questions around in his head he still and underlying desire to attend and find out what this is all about. He slides his phone closed and presses it to his lips as if he’s struggling to make his decision. He throws it around his head once more.Who the hell could it be? Why do they want to meet me at the airfield and what is so damn important?After going it over once more in his head he makes his decision. Even though the motives of the person who contacted him cannot be established it must be important if they were willing to go to all the trouble of tracking him down and finding his phone number. Of course this could be the handiwork of Jack or Dan, it certainly bares all the hallmarks of one of their practical jokes but why would they want to send Hughes to an airfield in Stockholm when they’re both busy with matches on that particular night? After considering the facts he decides that it’s probably not a prank on the behalf of his stablemates and there’s only one thing he can do.Hughes: Fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen?He gets to his feet and grabs his coat from the locker and puts it on, he takes a piece of paper from his pocket and quickly scrawls a note for his stablemates before he slides his phone into his pocket and heads out the door, the cameraman follows Hughes out of the room and the scene fades to black on a shot of Hughes purposefully making his way down to the corridor and to the mysterious meeting.To Be Contiunued….
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:04:22 GMT -5
Match 3: Entertainment Championship Match Match: Dave Shadow vs. Jack Jefferson vs. Chris Phenomenal vs. Lee Homicide Credit: Hollywood Mach *Bell RingsAs the match starts, all four men stand in the middle of the ring, waiting for the ref to let them go at it. As soon as he signals for the bell to ring, Dave charges out from his corner and takes Jack Jefferson down with a spear tackle. Jack was caught unaware, and Dave is able to take control of the man who has always posed a threat to his title. Edison: Give it to em' Shadow! GIVE IT TO EM'!McNally: The Champion is taking control very early on here!Dave starts throwing wild punches at Jack, who tries to fend them off. Phenomenal stands back and watches Dave trying to beat his head into the canvas with great glee, but it’s the young and hungry Homicide who grabs Dave by the back of the head and pulls him back. As Dave stands to confront him, Lee catches him with a big punch to the side of the head, forcing Dave to stumble back in to the ropes. Lee pushes him back and whips him across the ring, and on the rebound, he ducks behind Dave. He wraps his arms round Dave’s waist and throws him up and back, hitting a release German suplex. Dave folds up as he lands on the back of his neck. McNally: LEE HOMICIDE! LEE HOMICIDE! THAT MAN RIGHT THERE - IS THE NEXT ENTERTAINMENT CHAMPION!Edison: I doubt that!As Lee continues his attack on Dave, Phenomenal heads towards Jack who is getting back to his feet. Phenomenal hits some brutal punches to the side of Jack’s head, but Jack manages to pull back and hit a knife edged chop of his own. Chris holds his chest as it turns a bright shade of red, as Jack hits a European uppercut to get the fight out of the corner. As Chris stumbles backwards, Jack walks over to Homicide and shoves him out of the way. Jack grabs the downed Dave and picks him back up, pushing him in to the ropes. Dave bounces off them and comes back with a hard forearm smash, taking Jack down. Jack gets back to his feet quickly, but before Dave can get him again, Homicide clobbers him again. The Phenomenal one is back up as well, and now he attacks Homicide. Chris kicks Homicide in the gut, grabs his arm and whips him across the ring. On the rebound, Chris jumps and connects with a dropkick, taking Homicide down. Chris goes for a cover but Dave manages to break it up before it really begins. Dave drags Chris into the corner and backs him in, hitting him with a back elbow in the process. As Chris stands there, momentarily dazed, Dave backs off. He charges in and looks for a running high knee, but Chris pulls himself out of the way at the last second. Dave lands on the ropes though and as Chris makes a move for safety, Dave jumps backwards. In doing so, he flies right into the arms of Lee Homicide, who catches him and connects with an awesome looking T-Bone suplex! Dave lands hard on his back again! Edison: WHAT IS THIS?McNally: ITS ALL OVER, EDISON!Edison: T-BONE?!McNally: T-BONE!Homicide hooks the leg for the cover. One
Two
-Kickout!! Dave kips to his feet as soon as Homicide gets off of him. Jack gets back into the mix and jumps Homicide as he starts laying in to him with punches. He backs him in to the ropes as Chris approaches him. Jefferson begins laying in more european chops but Phenomenal wants a piece too! He irish whips Jefferson to the other side and begins to lay in some strikes to Homicide. Jefferson bounces off the ropes to be caught by Dave Shadow for a rollup! Edison: It ends here, and it ends now!McNally: Far too soon!!A kickout right at two! Jack gets up to his feet first and turns around to be clotheslined over the top rope by Lee Homicide who was irish whipped by none other than Chris Phenomenal himself! Lee goes off the ropes and tries to clothesline Dave Shadow but is hurricanara'd and layed out on his back! Dave and Chris find themselves as the only two men standing in the ring, with Lee down on the mat still, and Jack under the ropes still recovering. They look at each other for a few seconds, before starting to trade punches. The crowd are surprisingly cheering both of them, For Chris - superior height and weight advantage gives him the advantage. Dave can only take so many shots, as he starts to fall back into the ropes, punch drunk. Chris follows him and grabs him by the hair. He begins laying more punches into the temple of Dave Shadow. Shadow crumples to the ground before we know it. McNally: Phenomenal is just taking it to em'!Edison: He's the Harlem Superman, McNally!Chris isn’t finished though, as he starts to life Dave back up...only to find Jack charging him and hitting him with a big time shining wizard to the side of the head. Chris lets go of Dave, as Jack gets back up to his feet. He grabs Chris and signals for the end of the match, grabbing him into position for the Blizzard Suplex! As he sets up Chris though, Jack notices Lee getting back to his feet. He pushes Chris down to the canvas and walks towards Lee... Lee throws him up onto his shoulders! Jack isn’t able to counter as Lee throws him up and connects with the Starlight Extinction! Jack collapses to the ground, as Lee goes for the cover.... 1...
Edison: NO NO NO!
2... No! Chris pulls him back off Jack, saving the match. Chris takes a step back as Lee gets up, but Lee walks right into Chris’ arms; Chris sets ol' Lee up for the Superman DDT...and he connects! Lee gets broken in half, and rolls away in pain. Chris looks to chase after him, but as he is getting to his feet, Dave comes in, puts his leg over Chris’s neck, grabs the arm and connects with the Vashta Nerada! Phenomenal lands headfirst on the canvas, as Dave grabs the legs and lies over him for the cover. 1...
2... ROPE BREAK!McNally: THIS KIDS STILL IN IT, EDISON!Dave gets off of Chris to realize that his feet are on the ropes. Dave pulls him to the middle of the ring and stands him up by his head but Chris has ideas of his own as he pushes Dave’s hands away from his head and in one swift motion Dave gets lifted up onto Chris’ shoulders and Chris performs his Carnage Cutter. With Dave laid out Chris covers him… 1
2
3!!!!! *DING*DING*DING*Philip: HERE IS YOUR WINNER NEW ENTERTAINMENT CHAMPION! CHRIS PHENOMINAL!
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:05:22 GMT -5
] “The Doctor is IN!” Credit: Thunderkiss, Hollywood Mach [/font] [The titantron flickers to reveal an all too familiar set. A place where people talk out their problems and resolve their issues. It’s the show that gives Oprah a run for its money - yes, you got it. We're talking about none other than the set of Dr. Phil....] "Let's Do It!" [/center] [Dr. Phil comes out to his legion of soccer moms, chanting and cheering him on. Dr. Phil spins around and takes in the appreciation. He’s the grand master, the answer to all family issues. The clapping begins to simmer down as Phil claps his hands in excitement.] Dr. Phil: Thank you very much, thank you very much! Alright, its that long time of the year again where we all take a long hard look at ourselves and say "what am I doin' wrong?" Well, today we have guest here who is doing everything right! He's just had a new movie come out last month, is a wrestling superstar - and likes to macho it up! Please welcome Mr. Holllywood - Randy Kanyon! ["Fury" by Muse plays on Phil's own big screen and RDK comes out to surprising cheers from the soccer moms on the Dr. Phil show. RDK flexes a muscle and cocks an eyebrow wearing his red suit complete with his signature Macho sunglasses. RDK and Phil both take a seat.] Dr. Phil: Pleasure to have you on the show, Mach! Hollywood: The pleasure is all mine Dr. Phil! OoOoH Yeaah!OoOoH Yeaaaah! [/size] Dr. Phil: Now Macho is here for a simple reason folks! He has the opportunity to become the next villain in the upcoming James Bond film! Fancy that?
Hollywood: You know it brudah! The Macho Man is gonna be one helluva villain!! They don't call me Mr. Hollywood for nothin'!
Dr. Phil: Hahaha, that is correct! But apparently a Mr. Thunderkiss is getting in the way of your plans? Am I right?
Hollywood: Yeah brud! Thunda Piss is screwin' The Mach's shit up!!
Dr. Phil: Well we have a little surprise for you RDK. Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome Mr. Thunderkiss!
["God of Thunder" by KISS hits the speakers and TK storms in to massive jeers and booing. Needless to say Phil’s audience is not the Kiss Army. TK takes a seat and puts his feet up on Phil's coffee table, getting on the doctor's nerves right from the get go.]
Thunderkiss: Before you say another word, Phil, listen and listen closely. Do not be trying any of those Jedi mind tricks on me. I don’t really give a shit what your opinion is on myself, Macho or anything else in this world. I didn’t come here to chit chat, I am a busy man and the leader of the Kiss Army doesn’t have time to piss around!
Dr. Phil: Mr. Kiss, you need to calm down! Get real!
[The crowd applauds Phil, they are after all - in love with him. RDK just chuckles as Phil tries to lay the smackdown on Kiss.]
Thunderkiss: Oh Phil baby, I’m as real as it gets. You on the other hand, not so much!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [/b][/size] Dr. Phil: There’s nothing wrong with what you just said...and thank god for you claiming that right! Mr. Kiss, today is going to be a changing day in your life! Don't you think it'd be easier if you just but out of Macho's affairs? I do! Thunderkiss: Phil, did you happen to miss the part where ... I FUCKING TOLD YOU I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU, OR YOUR AUDIENCE FOR THAT MATTER, THINKS?! I came here today for one reason and one reason only .... HIM[Kiss points a finger at RDK] Thunderkiss: You may think you’re all “Hollywood” now Mach, but the truth of the matter is that you’re nothing more than a HICK FROM THE STICKS! I've said this once and I'll say it again! The ultimate aren’t the ULTIMATE MALE. You’re the ultimate poser. I don't care if you got shit-bags like THIS on your side because in the end - its gonna be me who takes that role! I'll say it loud, and I'll say it PROUD![RDK stands up from his sofa] Hollywood: The last thing a Mach needs is hate! We don't need hate, do we ladies? Yeaaah?!Random Chick: You tell em' Macho! Random Chick 2: Go Doctah Phil! YOU GO BABY! Thunderkiss: Oh, what do you know? A couple tubby ass chicks flockin' to the copycat because of his tan and bleached smile. Typical.Hollywood: OH BRUDAH PHIL NOT GONNA LIKE THAT MUCH!!Dr. Phil: Are you serious? You gotta get real, Kiss! You wonder why nobody likes you - and its simple! You're a bully and a sell-out! I didn't come in on a load of turnips! I know how it is! What planet are you FROM!? Just let him do his Hollywood gig! Thunderkiss: The fuck?! I was involved with Hollywood first!Dr. Phil: See, your problem is your so caught up in who’s first, you're the last one to realize that: Your wife hates ya, your daughter's a lesbian - and your inner child is addicted to internet pornography! [RDK begins to crack up at the sight of TK after Phil tells him this. TK rises from his seat as well.] Hollywood: Whatcha gonna do when The Doctor lays the smackdown on you? Eh brudah? WHATCHA GONNA DO!?[Phil stands up and tries to go face to face with Kiss. Kiss grabs him by the suit immediately and throws him back into one of the couches. Phil calls for security but Kiss grabs Phil again and quickly performs the Goodnight Kiss to the poor Doctor, laying him out in the middle of the floor! Massive jeers come from the audience and RDK books it out of there. Security circles Mr. Kiss and he looks around, noticing RDK has once again escaped.] Thunderkiss: Oh, so now you’re copying Houdini? Why not be a pal and copy Heath Ledger and just - END TRANSMISSION [FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:05:54 GMT -5
Segment: Another Good, Old-Fashioned Promo #65,230 (Credit: Lee) We are mere minutes before the start of another Thursday Night Meltdown! A special bonus for those who are watching on ACW.com is the live feed where they can see superstar interviews. We find Kevin Anderson, clad in a black tuxedo standing in front of the ACW logo.Kevin: Welcome folks and up next I have a treat for you ACW fans. Right now joining me is none other than a participant in tonight’s ACW Entertainment Championship match. I’m talking about... Lee Homicide jumps into the shot at puts his hand over Kevin’s face, silencing himLee: You should know the rules by now, Kevin. Nobody and I mean nobody does my introduction, but moi. So, ladies and gentlemen sitting at home in front of your computer screens because you were too lazy to pay the $39 a month to actually watch this on cable, I want you to heed the name of the soon-to-be possessor of the illustrious ACW Entertainment Championship belt: itzLEE... [/font][/center][/color] Lee pauses for a few seconds while Kevin debates whether or not he should bring the mike back to his mouth to continue with the interview. Just when it looks like Kevin has made a decision, Lee brings the mike back....yuhBITCH! [/font][/center][/color] Kevin: OK well tonight you find yourself in the biggest match of your young career. The question on everyone’s mind is, are you ready? Lee: How many times can I be asked the same question all week? If I wasn’t ready, I wouldn’t have made it this far. If I wasn’t ready I wouldn’t have to come to the arena. Ever since I set foot in this company I’ve been ready to run with the ball. I wasn’t handed anything. I’ve had to scrape and beat everyone that was thrown in front of me. Nobody on ACW has the track record that I do thus far. I’m head and shoulders above anyone you could even think of naming. I’m not in this for popularity or any of that garbage. I’m here because I want to be the best. You can love me or hate me, but one thing you will always have to do is respect my work in that ring. That’s what’s gotten me to this point: the biggest night of my professional career. A win here and the world is my oyster. A win here and I’m somebody on the worldwide scale. It’s not enough for me to be well-known on ACW. I want the boys in ACW to know me and fear me. I’m going out there tonight to make a statement; and that statement is: DON’T FUCK WITH LEE HOMICIDE! No matter who you throw me in the ring with, I’ll outclass them. I don’t care if it’s a technical great like Senator or a powerhouse like Thunderkiss, one way or another, they all fall to me! Kevin: Fair enough, but what about the escalating rivalry between yourself and one Chris Phenomenal, who is also in this match? What about that, huh? Lee: ( mimicking Kevin ) What about that, huh? Are you dumb or just plain retarded? I’m not worried about that crappy rap star phony. The fact is, I’ve been owning him since I came to ACW. So you can’t really call it a rivalry when I’m smacking him around every week. Harlem Superwoman is obviously jealous because he realizes that there is a new highlight of the night on ACW. It’s the same old story: the petulant punk sees his career flashing before his eyes, as the bright new star eclipses everything he’s ever done. I can’t say that I wasn’t expecting this. Hell, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I was just surprised that a cocky bastard like Chris Phenomenal would act like such an old hag about the thing. I come in and do my job and do it damn well. I can’t be worried about stepping on people’s toes. I was once told, that you don’t have to be nice to people on the way to the top if you don’t plan on coming back down. I firmly believe in that motto and that’s the reason that I’m standing here talking to an idiot like you. Chris Phenomenal is just going to get more of the same treatment from me. The only difference is that this will be on a much, much bigger scale. Now I get to make him my bitch in front of the world! Kevin: Well, he has beaten you not once, but twice. Any chance you’ll fall to 0-3 against him tonight? Lee: Hell no. None of those matches were a straight up one-on-one fight. There was always somebody there to distract me from giving CP the true whupping he deserved. If it’s just him and I, I’ll kick CP’s ass any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Kevin: Alright, and finally, there won’t just be ACW stars in the ring. So how do you prepare for three very different opponents, each with their own distinct style? Lee: I don’t prepare for them. They prepare for me! My game plan is simple: show up, be Lee, and walk out with another championship strapped to my waist. I will do whatever it takes to ensure that I am the man who walks out of ACW Arena as the winner. I personally don’t give a damn whether any of the three other guys walk out on their own power. That’s how much winning this match means to me. You’ve got every type of wrestling style in the world in this match. But what they all share in common is the fact that none of it will help them tonight, you see because I am destined to do great things in this company and it all starts tonight. It starts with the Entertainment Championship. Ever since they announced that I would be in this match, I knew, I just knew that I would be the one to win it. Look at all the names who got the start in their hall-of-fame caliber careers by winning the title: Jay Zero, BK London, Jake Cheng. That’s what I want for myself, and if I have to go through three other guys to do it, then so be it. I have no problem whatsoever cutting short each and every one of their sorry careers. I can see it now on tomorrow’s front page: “Lee ends careers en route to title win.” That’s what I envision for myself. While these other guys hope they might win, I’m banking on it! Anything less would be failure in my eyes. SO if you’ll excuse I have a title belt to go get! With that Lee storms off, as you click onto the next link looking for the next backstage interview.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:06:14 GMT -5
Now So Naked By Dave Shadow and Thunderkiss As we cut backstage again, Thunderkiss makes his way down a coridoor, striding along with a purpose. He turns a corner, and stops dead in his tracks, a look of surprise on his face. Down the hall, two ACW staff members stand outside a door, shouting in through it. Inside, Thunderkiss can hear quite a commotion; banging, shouting, screaming. All made the more weird given that he knows the door is that of Zero Tolerance’s brand new dressing room. He walks up, as one of the staff members finally spots him and runs towards him.
Man: Sir, you’ve got to help us out here! Thunderkiss puts up his hand, as the staff member shuts up. Kiss pushes his way past him, heading towards the dressing room with a serious look on his face. He peeks inside, and spots the source of all the noise. Dave Shadow stands in the middle of the room, still in his wrestling gear, sweating and breathing quite heavily and looking really pissed. Around him, things are a mess...the couch has been flipped over, the monitor has been left lying on the floor in pieces. Dave is in a feral rage and destroying anything he can get his hands on.
Kiss walks in and moves straight towards Dave, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him round to face him. Out of instinct, Dave throws a punch. Kiss is prepared though, as he grabs his fist, catching it in mid-punch. The two stand in the middle of the desolated room, Dave’s lips snarled back exposing his teeth. Kiss remains cool and calm though...Thunderkiss: Brother, you better slow yourself down. I’ve seen calmer addicts than you right now.Dave: Calm down? The hell I will. In case you missed it, I just.....I.... Dave seems to struggle to get the words out, refusing to admit what has just happened. Dave pulls his fist free and turns away from his partner, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Kiss remains silent, letting Dave talk out how he feels.
Dave: This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. This was not how I wanted to start off my new legacy. I was meant to win and keep winning. I was meant to be a champion everyone could be proud of. And instead, that little shit....He walks over and punches the wall hard; the wall doesn’t give way though, and it looks like Dave has done more damage to himself than to the bricks. He holds his fist but doesn’t let out any scream of pain. It just further fuels his anger...
Dave: It wasn’t meant to start like this.Thunderkiss: Of course not, but you know what? Everyone has a night off or two. Now’s not the time to go crawl in a corner, Dave. NOW is the time to get EVEN! Do you know why I am on top, Dave? I don’t know how to lose. Oh yes, my shoulders get the mat for three seconds but I don’t act defeated when it happens. I don’t sulk about it. I make sure that the mother fucker who pinned me thinks twice about doing it again. I will turn their life upside down until they reach their breaking and wish for a different outcome. Remember this Dave. If you can only remember ONE thing from me, remember this. Wresting is ten perfect physical and ninety percent emotions. Rule that ninety percent and you rule the ring. Dave looks at his partner, his anger slowly dissipating. His eyes are teary, as he looks round for somewhere to sit down. Anywhere. Alas, he’s already flipped over all the seats, so he has no choice but to stand there.
Dave: I’m....I’m sorry.... As the two stand in the room, more noise is heard out in the hall. Gingerdude pops his head round the door frame, surveying the area before walking in.Gingerdude: What happened here? Thunderkiss: It’s alright Ginger. We had to just blow off a little steam. It’s all good now.Gingerdude looks at them hesitantly, before nodding and heading back out into the hallway to calm down the staff members. Thunderkiss puts his arm round Dave’s shoulder and starts to lead him towards the door.Thunderkiss: Do you know what you need right now? Some fresh air. Luckily, I got just the place for you to alleviate your troubles. On the way in tonight I happened to see this nice little strip club down the road and nothing will take your mind away from this than some juicy, firm, Swedish meatballs. Now be a good man and listen to Doctor Kiss. He’ll always give you the right prescription to feel allllllllllllright, brother!Dave: Strip club. Yeah. Sounds like a good idea. What could possibly happen there. Thanks buddy...The two walk towards the door, as Dave wanders out down the corridor by himself. The staff members jump out of his way, as Gingerdude covers his face with his hand. They watch him head away, like a broken man, as Thunderkiss looks back into the dressing room. It’s a mess. Though that’s the benefit of having such power now. Gingerdude walks back in and he too starts to survey the damage.
Thunderkiss: Clean up in isle sixty-nine! Ginger, I am going to need some new digs for the night. Hook me up, brother! [FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:06:37 GMT -5
Part 2: OTA Segment: Don’t Worry Be Happy, pt. 2 Credit: Road Steelers: Steele and Train Hours have passed, and after that wild beginning for their day, Steele and Train went off to the nearest clothes shop and picked up some gear. Steele has his Kufi on (JIM JONES AIN’T SMACKIN’ THIS OFF), and some other Jamaican styled clothes, the Jamaican colored Nikes setting off his clothes perfectly. He stands in the mirror, as usual, flashing a smile at himself, admiring just how good he looks. He brushes his hair over with his hand, and brushes his shoulders off, telling himself just how he feels… about himself.Steele: Mirror mirror on da wall, who’s da flyest of em all? Rob Van Damn! I look good. Stylin’ and Profilin’ baby! Come on Train, let’s be out!Train: Let me grab this and I’ll be right there! Train grabs a giant pack of snickers he got from one of the stores and takes it with him and Steele, as they leave the room, locking it up and heading to the feast. They eventually arrive, and as they step out to it, they both are in shock. Fire is all around, flags are waving, people are dancing, music is blasting and food is everywhere. “King of the Dancehall” by Beenie Man plays, Steele and Train walking through the crowds as they see Kofi Kingston sitting a table waving for them to come over. Train can barely contain himself as he looks around at all of the food sprawled across the tables, but he tries to keep himself calm for now as he bites rapidly at his Snickers bars. Steele sits at the table, doing the soulshake with Kofi, which is a common way of black men greeting each other, you should all know that by now. Anyway, Kofi compliments Steele on his clothes.Kofi:[/color] Ya lookin’ sharp boi, very nice threads mon. Steele: Thanks my dude. But yo, you didn’t tell me da feast was gon’ be like dis son. I was expectin’ somethin’ big, but dis is BIG SHIT POPPIN’! Aw man, we gon’ have some fun tonight boy!Kofi:[/COLOR] Ya damn rightcha are! But that‘s later, first let’s dig in to da food! Bad idea.Train: … FOOD… FOOD… FOOD!!! OM NOM NOM NOM!!!Train hops onto the tables and destroys all of the food that most likely took days, if not weeks to prepare. Everybody in the party looks dumbfounded and the record scratches off, as they are in total disbelief. Steele looks pissed, as he was hungry and surely so was everybody else. Train gets done and lets out a giant burp, as he sits back down rubbing his belly.
Kofi looks over at Train, not knowing what to say. Steele sums it up pretty well though.Steele: Goddamnit Train! Can we ever go somewhere and you don’t eat da whole fuckin’ table!Train: *mouth full of food* Shut up, I’m always hungry. It’s their fault. They shouldn't have put out this much food. It's so good in my mouth. That's what she said.Steele: Well, I guess da feast part is over. What else you got for us to do?Kofi smiles, as he stands up, walks away from the table and begins to run down all the activities, hundreds of Jamaicans smiling behind him as he does.Kofi: Plenty of tings mon, like limbo! Cut to Kofi doing limbo under a bamboo stick, dancing as he slides under the first height. Steele follows him, successfully making it under as well. Train follows him, but he breaks the stick as he tries to run through it, instead of slide under. Steele face palms.Kofi: Bobbin’ fer apples! Cut to Kofi with his hands placed behind his back as he dances to the bucket full of water and apples. He drops his face down into the large bucket and scoops up a apple as people cheer and clap, before he spits it out. Steele is up next, as he does the same, pulling out an apple from the bucket as more people cheer. Train is last, as he dives into the bucket and eats all of the apples in the bucket, then drinking the water. Kofi face palms.Kofi: Rough almost sex like dancin’ wit da beautiful women! Cut to Kofi with a random female scooped up and her legs wrapped around his waist, to the tune of “Dutty Wine” Kofi throws her up and down, so much so that they just might make a baby. Kofi has a mile wide smile on his face as the girl waves her hair around, enjoying the ride. Steele also has a female in his own position, as they’re actually on the ground, Steele dry humping the shit out of her as he bites his lip and the girl screams out in enjoyment. Steele then flips her over onto her stomach, and puts her on her knees, as he moves back and forth in a mock doggy style position. Train on the other hand, isn’t dancing, well he is, but not with a female. He’s dancing with a native pig, who eventually eats. Kofi and Steele stop their dancing and both face palm.Kofi:[/color] And debates. Cut to Steele and Kofi talking about the issues of America, and Jamaica, going back and forth as Train plays “Legends of Wrestlemania” on his iPod, yawning as they go on.
It all ends, and all three man are in chairs, away from the rest of the party, exhausted. Steele wipes sweat from his forehead, and blows out a heavy sigh. Kofi dabs his own forehead with a towel and puts it around his neck when he’s finished.Steele: Woo. I’m tired…Dat was probably da best party ever…How you niggas do dis every night?Kofi:[/COLOR] We..get…used to it mon. Everything’s a party here in Jamaica! Steele: I mean I done partied hard before, but damn, dat was cr-Steele stops and sees a female walk by, with a ginourmous ass. His eyes, Kofi’s eyes, and even Train’s eyes widen as she walks by. The best part about this is that she has on a top, but below she only has on a small thong. Steele and Kofi mouth the words “Goddamn…” as she walks and notices the men checking her out, waving at them as they do.Steele: Ah man… I love Jamaica.Train: Ah man… I love food. OM NOM NOM! GOD ITS SO GOOD! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!Train gobbles up some more snacks, as Kofi and Steele just laugh now. They may have been sidetracked by XS3, but his plan backfired as the Original Road Steelers had the time of their lives.
The End
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:07:05 GMT -5
“DOWNSIZING” Credit: Thunderkiss [The entranceway jettisons the Sommers-Joseph family and we get our first taste of what the crowd thinks of their reunion. Surprisingly, the Kiss Army fans have not quelled their cheers. Not at all. In a move that even surprises Thunderkiss, they welcome her arms wide open and take in Anna in as one of their own. Their cheers are repelled by her disdain for these “lowly” people but they could careless. If the Princess makes their Prince happy, that’s all that matters. It’s a sediment shared by Anna herself, only vice versa. Tonight she wishes nothing more than to please Thunderkiss and set a wrong that has gone unpunished for far too long, right.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: At this time, I would like to call ACW veteran referee Keiji Makabe down to the ring. Mr. Makabe, a woman of my stature is always busy and I’d rather not be kept waiting. For your sake, I’d get out here as quickly as possible. [Keiji Makabe. An honorable man. So honorable in fact that he almost quit his job months ago when he realized his folly in getting involved in Richard Paris’ scheme to eliminate Thunderkiss. While Thunderkiss may have shamed his wife with his voyeuristic actions, two wrongs do not make a right. If he only had any inclination of what is in store for him tonight, his disposition may very well change. In any event, he is not one to disappoint those who provide the money that he uses to care for his loved one. With a sense of urgency in his step, he meets Anna’s deadline and now stands opposite of her in the ring.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: Mr. Makabe, I have plenty of words to say to you right now but rather than take a million of mine, I will let a picture do it for me. [Anna folds her hands together in front of her and stands at attention, her eyes fixated upon the big screen. Everyone follows suit, including Makabe, as we take a trip down memory lane.] [As the video feed comes to an end, a large, uncomfortable rumble filters up from the crowd. They recall this event as if were yesterday and connect the dots all the while. The picture they end up with does not bode well for Makabe’s future. In the ring Thunderkiss has quite the opposite reaction. Upon reliving this experience he feels nauseated to the point of turning away from the Alpha Tron, afraid to even look back.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: Why was the bell not called for, Keiji? Keiji Makabe: I was doing as I was told! Your father - Anna Sommers-Joseph: How DARE you?! My father would never involve himself in such shenanigans! There is no excuse for almost having my husband KILLED on your watch! Keiji Makabe: That simply is not true! It was him and Richard - Anna: Enough! I cannot tolerate another lie. Thunderkiss: Uh-oh, you’ve pissed her off good, Makabe![Anna and Keiji experience a brief alliance as they shoot Thunderkiss looks of contempt. TK just shrugs his shoulders and goes back to admiring the best tits and ass that Sweden has to offer. So much for faithfulness.] Anna Sommers-Joseph: I may be new to my position but I can tell you that what I just saw was horribly, horribly wrong. I don’t need years of experience to tell me otherwise. You, sir, have a responsibility to this company to protect its wrestlers in the ring. You negligence to do one of your highest and important responsibilities almost resulted in the death of my husband. There is nothing you can say nor do to make amends for your actions. Mr. Makabe, you are fired. Maxwell McNally: Oh come on! The man has a family, for God’s sake!
“Fast” Eddie Edison: Max. Quiet. Keiji Makabe: *awkward pause* May your experiences with this man with end up better than my family’s. Thunderkiss: We wish you luck in your future endeavors! Now get out of here! [Keiji hangs his head in shame while the Kiss Army Europe throws their trash at him during his long, dejected walk to the back. Those who do not claim loyalty to the Army object to the treatment of one of ACW’s senior referees and voice their disapproval with a loud chorus of boos. TK and Anna do not hear them, they are too interested in one another to listen, or for that matter, care.] Thunderkiss: You know, you’re hot when you act all authoritative.Anna: And you’re cute when you try to use big words like authoritative. [FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:07:34 GMT -5
Segment Save for the Senator.
Ya I cant believe that he didn’t send something in on time either. >_>
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:07:51 GMT -5
Title: Pot Smoker’s Unite Credit: Chris Phenomenal and XS3
The scene opens inside of the Globe Arena in Stockholm, Sweden. Chris Phenomenal is sitting on a flat of crates, a rolled joint in his hand but not lit. Beside him is a petite Swedish Blonde, blue eyes and drop dead gorgeous. She laughs as Chris says something and gives her a slight nod as he smiles. She reaches into her blouse and pulls out a key card and passes it to Chris before whispering something in his ear, as Chris’ eyes grow large. She walks away, giving a suggestive wave before Chris turns around, and right beside him is the man who turned on the Road Steelers, XS3.
XS3: Gonna let a brother have a toke or what?
Chris looks down at the hotel card in his hand and remembers back to what the women said as he looks back up at XS3.
Chris Phenomenal: Naw, go ahead, I got some more back in the locker room.[/I]
Chris Phenomenal flips the join to XS3 who takes it and immediately lights up, inhaling deeply before blowing the smoke out and leaning back.
XS3: Thanks, this has been long overdue for me.
The smile on Chris’ face as XS3 takes another deep breath show he has some sinister motives behind passing the joint off to XS3 and the unnatural courtesy he has shown to this point.
Chris Phenomenal: You know, I don’t think we’ve ever really met. I mean we competed in a match and I whooped your ass for a bit but other than that we haven’t had a formal introduction. Anyways, I’m Chris
XS3 takes another drag from the joint as he looks at Chris Phenomenal, his eyes starting to become red as if he is on his third or fourth joint for the evening, even before his match.
XS3: Contrary to your beliefs, I may have been the one whooping your ass but since I'm starting to develop a selective memory, my name is Matthew Keith Irvine.
The two shake hands as Chris Phenomenal smiles at his new friend who takes another drag from his joint.
Chris Phenomenal: You know Matt, I’m just curious as to some things that have been going on around here as of late. I mean Mach has been getting some “notes” from a mysterious Canadian and I was wondering, is it you. I mean I just gotta know who the fuck I should be messing with and who the fuck I should be watching there back, and heading into Fallen Heroes you are gonna need everyone watching your back.[/I]
XS3: And you're suggesting I'm the one who's been writing secret admirer notes to RDK? This must be some pretty heavy shit. Look, I've said this many times before and I'll say it again: I'm a man. I can stand on my own two feet. I need no assistance when it comes to defeating Jake, though I'm willing to let anyone get a tap or two in beforehand. Not too much though. I want him at 100%.
Chris Phenomenal: You know Matt, I think you got what it takes to beat Jake Steele, even if his cronies get involved, and you know what I also think. That when you do win the title your buddy who shared his weed with you should be the first person to get a title shot you know, or maybe even Hollywood if I’m the Entertainment Champion then. You see everything comes full circle you know.[/I]
XS3: For what has occured as of late, I can understand the situation. If and when I do become the champion, I know that the proverbial bullseye will be placed on my back and everyone, your Macho friend too, is going to want a piece of me. For that, I say let them come. They will understand why I am one of the last of the proud and the few: that is, of course being, the technical wrestlers who values actual competition over swagger and showboating. In a way, you could consider it to be "one hell of a ride".
Chris Phenomenal: Oh it will be, you take care of yourself and best of luck tonight against Rattlesnake. Don’t get too doped up that you can’t even make it to the ring.[/I]
XS3: Same to you. Hopefully, you can drag your doped-up ass to that ring and show Lee Homicide a true lesson in humility, perhaps winning some gold while you're at it.
Chris Phenomenal: Sure thing![/I]
With that XS3 takes a final drag of the joint as Chris Phenomenal walks away smiling, having gotten some important information, as well as possibly having positioned himself or Hollywood into a position for a title shot…as long as XS3 can remember what just occurred, which isn’t likely. XS3 then turns to go back to his locker room and utilize his joint kit, complete with eyedrops and Tic-Tacs, and prepare one last time for Rattlesnake.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 16:09:11 GMT -5
MATCH 4: Danny Mainer VS Thunder Train (Episode I) Credit: Danny Mainer MATCH BEGINNING:Both men begun with a stare-down. Danny had a lot of loathing stored up from the last year with Entourage for Train and well he thought of Train as nothing more then this giant crusty winnet that hung onto the success of everyone else. Train had no real thoughts on Mainer particularly except for “that guy that killed TK” and well this was just another match to him. The two crashed into each other and Danny started off with some rapid-fire strikes to try and break the armour of The Train. This lead into something more and after a few heavy power strikes Train got annoyed and power-irish whipped Danny to the ropes. Danny was flung over but managed to hold onto the top ropes and then coming back springing off the top-ropes and flying back to sender with a headscissors takedown which sent Train careering into the second rope. Danny then ran to Train and hit a Feint Tiger Kick (Y’know, a 619) and Train landed on the mat. Danny still on the apron stopped to pose as Train was out on the floor. Danny then turned to hit a slingshot senton but Train launched like a North Korean Missile and caught Danny in mid-air for a powerbomb. Train used the top rope a spring and bounced Mainer’s back off it before twisting 180 and lifting him up with extra elevation before dropping him with a MAJOR powerbomb which started off his offence. MATCH MIDDLE:Train was going crazy wailing on The Butcher, Train grabbed Mainer’s head with both his hands and started to squish them by crushing the skull underneath his gargantuan hands. Just when it seemed like Mainer could take no more he was brought smashing down with whiplash inducing effect into Train’s raised knee which sent his eyeballs exploding into the back of his head and the very cobwebs of Mainer’s head being shattered. Danny crashed to the floor in a heap amazingly not bleeding and Train made the cover only to get a 2-count. As Mainer made his way to his feet Train then bounced off the ropes and levelled Mainer like a demolitions expert by making his offence Full Steam Ahead, not giving him the slightest of breathing room he then followed up by performing a Pumpkin Smasher hitting high velocity and high power strikes. Danny managing to steal away five seconds from The Train with a quick eye poke ran up the turnbuckle and returned with a Double Axe Handle but on the way down Train span and hit a Discus Elbow right into the mouth of Mainer. Mainer hit the ground hard with blood trailing out of his mouth. MATCH END:It seemed that Danny had no chance as throughout the rest of the match Train would continue to smash him up but the saving grace was was that every power move Train did, Mainer seemed to be able to kick out of even after a Fury Kick straight to the head. Mainer had hit the ground hard but he wasn’t one to go down for good. Danny hit a lightning quick elbow counter followed by a slingshot Enziguiri which brought Train to his knees. Danny ran off to the nearby ropes and then hit a big dropkick to Train sending him to the mat for the first time in the match. Danny then finally got his swagger back and started to pose and set up some anticipation for a Psycho Holiday. Train using the ropes to pull himself to his feet turned to see Danny about to leap up and cut him off sharp a mid-air kick to the side. Train tried for a Mega Wreckage but Danny hit an elbow to the head so Train just flung him across the ring. The referee was caught in the colission as Mainer continued to roll to the opposite corner of the ring. He reached out and grabbed his cane as Train came towards him and when Train was in range Danny swung for his head but Train caught it in his hands, wrenched it away and launched it into the crowd. Train then grabbed Danny and hit the Om Nom Bomb and made the cover just as the referee revived. One Two Three. WINNER: THUNDER TRAIN
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