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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:42:52 GMT -5
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Match 1: Rawt vs. Jin
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Match 2: The Senator vs. Jonny Spade
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Match 3: Dave Shadow vs. Lee Homicide vs. Chris Phenomenal vs. Jack Jefferson (Entertainment Title)
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Match 4: Thunder Train vs. Danny Mainer
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Match 5: XS3 vs. Rattlesnake
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:43:10 GMT -5
“ALL IN THE FAMILY” Credit: Dave Shadow, Thunderkiss [Lights. Camera. Action! This edition of ACW Thursday Night Meltdown gets off to a fast start and that’s just alright with the fans who are quite impatient after what transpired on our last broadcast. Just in case you missed it (or your are living under a rock), last Monday Night the wrestling world was stunned as they witnessed a family reunion previously thought impossible. The Josephs and Sommers/Gingerdudes have apparently smoked the peace pipe and are now standing atop the federation, unified. Not only that, Dave Shadow has been revealed to be the Chairman’s personal “hitman,” if you will. If you don’t believe me, the evidence has just walked out of the entranceway. Banded together, Zero Tolerance has arrived and has touched down inside the squared circle.] Thunderkiss: Well, well. What a difference a couple of days make, huh? Those who thrive anarchy and chaos have scattered like cockroaches they are. Dan White and his Empire. Jake Steele and his Road Steelers. Macho and his Mega Star Alliance. These individuals will NO longer call the shots around here and WILL be held accountable for their actions. WE will see to it that they are. The days of running rampant throughout ACW without consequences are OVER. Zero Tolerance is just that and when the smoke clears and the dust settles, there will be only law of the land: GINGERDUDE’S LAWDave: ACW, over the last few months, has become somewhat of a playground for various factions and groups. Everyone thinks that theirs is the most dominant force in this promotion. The Road Steelers think they are great cause they hold titles. That is only temporary. The Mega Star Alliance think they have the star power to dominate. I tend to disagree. The Empire...well, outside of a blip at Genocide, I've run circles round the Empire. I've dominated the Empire and last week I showed Dan White that we are not a group to mess with. In Gingerdude and in Thunderkiss, I find fellow companions who agree with my beliefs and my crusade. I find two men who want to see only the best for ACW and who want to see it thrive. I find the two perfect allies with whom I can wage war against those who would taint the name...of ACW.Gingerdude: Well gentlemen, I think you’ve taken all the words out of my mouth! Leave it to you both to get the job done and leave me with absolutely nothing to say! Hooray for efficiency. However, I know the masses have congregated here tonight to hear me speak so who am I to let them down? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Thunderkiss: Hey, show this man some respect![Request denied. Even the Kiss Army cannot band together to combat the boo birds who are drowning everything out, including rational thought, with their decibels. Luckily for our television viewers, they do not suffer the same fate as the ACW personnel.] Gingerdude: You people have the audacity to boo me? I am the one responsible for your entertainment tonight! If it were not for me, you would have nothing to lift you out of your boring and mundane life’s each and every week! My motivations with these men are out my obligation to you, the fans! You demand the best, I shall provide you with nothing but! At the moment, my vision of a wrestling company that stands head and shoulders above the rest has been hijacked by individuals who are not cut from the same fabric as these men. My time away proved more costly than beneficial. While I was gone, my beloved ACW title changed hands to yet another unworthy individual in a long line of them. Jake Steele. Jay Zero. BK London. Fallen Souls. Must I go on? YOU fans have craved for a champion that you can live your dreams though once more. YOU fans have waited patiently for me to deliver that man to you. I stand before you now and proudly say that the wait is over. YOU fans crave THIS man, THUNDERKISS, AND BY GOD, YOU’LL HAVE HIM ONCE MORE! [Thunderkiss steps forward. Again a mixed reaction. His diehard supporters have not left him. The casuals have. That’s fine and dandy for him for he has neither the patience or time for bandwagoners. You’re either Thunderkiss 4-Life or your not. There is no middle ground.] Gingerdude: While the World Title may be my be the top prize, the gleam in everyone’s eyes, my attention has not escape the International Title. While Thunderkiss will restore honor to the World Title once more, Dave Shadow is more than capable of doing the same for this historic championship. At the moment, a fat, lazy sloth claims it as his own. How am I to promote this division with him as my figurehead?! How am to sell tickets with a champion who can’t even fit the belt around his waist?! The answer to these questions: I can’t, Absolutely intolerable. Dave Shadow, I am counting on you to bring civility back into the ranks of the federation. Do not let me down. [Dave locks stares with the Chairman and gives him a hearty nod, repositioning the Entertainment title on his shoulder, letting it shine brightly under the arena lights. Dave looks proud as punch to be in the ring with his new team.] Gingerdude: Dave Shadow to my right. Thunderkiss to my left. Let this image burn in the mind of any men who wish to follow in the footsteps of Stephan Russo. You’ve all pushed me for so long. It’s time I start pushing back.
Anna Sommers-Joseph: Pardon me for breaking up this testosterone-fest but If I am going to be the future owner of ACW, I do believe that I should partake in these little self-esteem rallies.
Gingerdude: Now, now, Anna. The ring can be a dangerous place.
Anna Sommers-Joseph: And I am a dangerous woman. Look around Daddy, do you honestly think anyone is crazy enough to even look at me with Aiden and Dave standing right over there?
Thunderkiss: To be honest Anna, your father is right. ACW is not short of people who belong in a mental institution.
Dave:Yeah. I'm just waiting for the day the men in white coats and a giant butterfly net come looking for Dan White again....
Anna Sommers-Joseph: No! Let me make something clear this very instant. This is my ring and anyone who dares says otherwise will have to deal with me. I am the Vice President of Alpha Championship Wrestling and my name carries the same weight as my father’s. I am a Gingerdude. I am a Joseph. And I do not see one individual whom *I* employ that is not is indispensable if they cannot follow this company’s code of conduct.
Thunderkiss *whispering*: You’ll have to forgive her. She’s very testy when she’s angry.
Gingerdude *whispering*: You’re telling me?! You were the one who had to live with her for the past 10 months after you got up and left.
Anna Sommers-Joseph: And that goes for you people. You should be thankful that our family even cares about what you want. You don’t like something we do, there’s the exit. Feel free leave and if your watching at home, by all means, change the channel. But you won’t. Do you know why? It is because at this very second you are hanging on to my EVERY word because you’d give anything in your life to be where I am. Take one look at me and tell me that’s not true!
[From the corner of his eyes the Chairman sees that the natives are starting to get restless. Wanting wrestling and not words, they start to look for anything that’s not tied down to get their point across. Before they can turn Zero Tolerance’s heads into bulls eyes, Ginger pulls Anna’s microphone down and prepares to exit stage right.]
Gingerdude: Dear, that’s quite enough. I think you’ve made your point.
Anna Sommers-Joseph: But ... Daddy!
Gingerdude: My dear, you have to know when to hold them and when to fold them. Look around you Anna, it’s time to fold.
[Anna protests but her actions are ignored by both her father and husband. Together they do what’s best and escort her out of harms way. A parade of egos passes down the isle as Zero Tolerance caves in and allows tonight’s proceedings to continue but make no mistake ...
... they will be keeping a very watchful eye on them as they transpire.]
[FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:44:01 GMT -5
Something's About To Hit The Fan Dan White What happened of Warfare shocked the world, as Dave Shadow and Thunderkiss turned their backs on Alpha Championship Wrestling, joining forces with an irate Chairman Gingerdude. And their target? The very man of whom all three men have grown to have a disliking for over the past few weeks. Dan White. At their hands, the Welshman suffered a brutal beatdown, and this Welsh Dragon is about to breathe a toasty breath of fire onto those already mentioned.
ANARCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A huge pop, as “Anarchy In the UK” by the Sex Pistols hits, and sporting the bandages from last Meltdown's beatdown, but to this Swedish crowd, that just means that Dan is going to kick some Double Deuce arse. He walks down the ramp with a focused look on his face, taking a microphone, and climbing up the steps, through the ropes, and into the ring. He throws his arms up once, gaining another pop, before allowing his music to fade.Dan White: Well, I guess I've got to admit that I was expecting it. I was expecting Chairman Gingerdude to one day turn on me completely and make it clear that he doesn't want me in the position that I'm in. Well I guess I'm the fool because I didn't foresee that bastard Thunderkiss joining up with the chairman of this company. But shit happens, and I guess that proves that there's nothing Thunderkiss won't do in order to get what he wants, be it sell out his soul, sell out his career, and be morally worse, even than myself. And then you have Dave Shadow, who has had this weird grudge against me ever since myself and The Empire broke him in two. Since then, he's been on a tirade, not only costing me the World Heavyweight Title, but also costing me my match with Thunderkiss last Monday night. Of course, we know why he did that, but it shows that he's always had some weird, crazed obsession with me. He knows that Ireland is overshadowed by Wales, so that must be the reason why he's targeting me. But I don't think he gets it. He does know who he's trying to target. He looks into the camera.Dan White: Dave Shadow, I know you're probably watching this from an executive box, or some expensive limo somewhere, but if you have the time to stop sucking Gingerdude's cock, you better listen up. Stop punching above your weight, because that weight is gonna come crashing down on you, son, and you're DAMN well gonna feel it. A huge pop from the crowd as Dan really gives the promo some intensity, as he pulls away from the camera.Dan White: But back to Gingerdude. I guess this all really proves a point. It's been common knowledge that he dislikes me, and he doesn't see me as the face of this company. Well I guess I'm gonna have to prove him wrong, aren't I? I don't care about my marketability, whether or not you're able to make a little “Dan White” action figure which says my catchphrases, and sell them to 5 year old kids, but does that mean you have the right to stop my quest to the top of this company? It's almost been 5 goddamn years ever since I joined this place. I've had more World Title shots than Dave Batista. But I've been screwed out of so many of those shots that really, I should probably be given the right to simply take the belt. But I'm not going to start up a lawsuit or any crap like that. All I want is to be able to have a title shot, and to be able to say that I'm the World champion here. And I don't care about Gingerdude. I don't care about Jake Steele. I don't care about Dave Shadow. I don't care about Thunderkiss. I just want that World Title. I need that World Title. Another pop. This Swedish crowd would love to see Dan as a World champion one day.Dan White: So we look onto Fallen Heroes, and it looks like that could be my last chance to shine here. I'm not gonna say any crap like “if I don't win I'll quit forever” or anything like that. I know for a fact that Gingerdude doesn't have the guts to remove me from his roster. But it's going to be one of my last chances to really make an impact here. One of my last chances to really shake things up. One of my last chances to realistically go into a match knowing that I can win the belt. And I'm going to win Fallen Heroes. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to get my World title shot, and I'm going to go to Omega Effect V, ACW's biggest event to date, and I'm going to win the World Title. I'm going to be the first ever Welshman to win the belt, and I'm going to prove that worthless piece of crap Gingerdude, and anyone enough who is too pussy to carry themselves so that they have to resort to teaming with him in order to get anywhere here, that you can NOT stop a Welsh Dragon when he is angry. Another large pop from the crowd, as Dan again becomes rather angry.Dan White: So you better watch out, cos when April 25th comes round, Dan White is going to run wild, and he's going to clear house. I am the fan's favourite going into the match, no matter what challenges are thrown in my path. And when I win it all, there's going to be an angry little ginger man who's gonna have to get down on his knees, and grovel for forgiveness. And that, my friend, is a right... Crowd: TOUCH!!! Dan White: ...Touch!! He goes to leave, but before he does, he turns back towards the crowd.Dan White: And by the way? Ginger, Dave, and Thunderkiss, if you're watching this...you're gonna pay. ”Anarchy in the UK” by the Sex Pistols hits, and Dan drops the microphone to the ground, with another pop throwing up into the air. He exits the ring, having made his intentions clear. What does he have in store for Zero Tolerance?
Fade Out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:44:22 GMT -5
OTA Segment: Don’t Worry Be Happy, pt. 1 Credit: Road Steelers: Steele and Train
The Road Steelers are a luxurious stable. Behind the athleticism, the strength, and their genius in-ring tactics, they really are one of the most dominant stables in ACW history. The Untoucables can fuck a goat. They are used to flying high, and having gold around their waist at all times. This is a well known fact, so you’re probably wondering why I’m telling all of you this. Well, because for some reason, Thunder Train and Jake Steele find themselves in another country. And it’s not Stockholm, Sweden. They seem to be being drove somewhere, but it’s hard to really see where, all we know is that Steele is fast asleep and Train is listening to his iPod. After hitting a bump, Steele is woke up and as his head begins to rise and his eyes open up, he begins to notice something is very off, but he can’t put his finger on it.
Steele: Where da… where da fuck we at Train?
Steele peeps around, wiping sleep from his eyes as he looks over to Train, who is rocking his head back and forth mouthing words to a song. Steele calls out to him again.
Steele: Train…
Steele stares over at Train, who must have the volume turned all the way up. Completely unaware to his buddy trying to ask him something, he continues to let his head rock. Steele gets tired of it quick, yelling now.
Steele: Train!
Train’s head pops up and his eyes open up a bit more. He nonchalantly pulls one of the headphones from his ear, and he responds.
Train: Hmm? What? Oh sorry, I had my iPod turned all the way up, jamming “LIKE A BAWSE”. What were you asking?
Steele: I was askin’… why… in da hell… ARE WE ON DA BACK OF A TRUCK!?
It can be seen now that the two are on the back of a pickup truck, with some bales of hay nearby. Driving over a bumpy road, the sun shines brightly onto the truck, beaming off of Train’s dome and onto Steele’s eyes, as he covers it up with his hand. Train looks left to right around him, not really noticing or caring how they arrived onto the back of a pickup truck without either of them knowing (and neither should any of you!)… they both seem confused, Train taking the other headphone out of his ear and stuffing the iPod into his pocket. He scratches his head, as he begins to think (lol, Train thinks)… and he’s got nothing. He does realize where they are though.
Train: Honestly, I have no idea… And I'm not sure why...but it’s JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!
Steele: …How da hell did we wind up in Jamaica!?
Train: I don’t kn- oh fuck...That's right...
Steele: What?
Train: Remember who booked ALL of our flights last month?
Steele stops to think. It doesn’t take him long to figure it out…
Steele: …XS3. Oh dat muthafucka think he slick. Bookin’ us to Jamaica like dat’s gonna stop us from makin’ it to Sweden. I’mma fuck his life u -- Wait… why didn’t Lee get booked to Jamaica too?
Train: He must have booked his flights super early, you know how efficient those Asians are. Like Cheng. And Bruce Lee. Or Fei Long...
Steele: Man, dis nigga drivin’ better be takin’ us to a hotel or something’. I need to get us booked back to where we need to be…
…And then the truck stops. The driver quickly hops out and pulls down the small fence like barricade that protected both Steele and Train from falling out of the truck. He starts tapping on the truck rapidly, and waving his hand backwards, basically trying to say he wants them out. Steele looks at him like he wants to tell him to shut the fuck up, but he’s going to be nice. So he picks up his suitcase, and begins to stand up. Although it seems that this specific driver doesn’t have any time to waste.
Driver: Cawmon now boys, get ya bumbaclot asses out dat truck! You been sleepin’ most of da ride! And ya fat ass friend held down da truck when I was tryin’ ta’ drive! Wake da fook up!
Steele: Aight, aight Mufasa, calm yo ass down! We out, we out!
Steele rolls his case out and hops off the truck. Standing a few inches away from the driver. He’s still impatient though, tapping his hand against the truck and now motioning for Train to come out.
Driver: You too fatass, get ya gorilla self out of dere!
Train: …I'm not fat....
Driver: Wait dah fuck you waitin’ on now, mon? You want me to feed yatoo? Nonono, get ya ass OUT!
Train doesn’t move from his spot, instead balling up his fist and trying his best to keep his composure.
Train: Steele…
Driver: Why you callin’ to him? I said get out f-
Steele jumps quick and puts his hand on the shoulder of the driver, giving him what could be his final warning.
Steele: Yo man, I think you should chill. He lookin’ pissed, and believe me you don’t want dat brah.
Driver: Like da fook I cere! Aye, FATASS! GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN’ TR- AHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHHH OH GAWWDDDD!!!
During his verbal abuse, Train, in almost unnatural speed for a man his size pops up and dashes on the truck, hopping off and pouncing onto the driver. Train begins to beat the shit out of him, his screams not lasting long. No… Train didn’t kill him. But he did fuck him up. Bad. Train stands up and beats on his chest, King Kong style.
Train: THE TRAIN AIN’T FAT! I’M ALL MUSCLE, WOO! OM NOM NOM!
Steele, shaking his head, looks around to see if anybody noticed it. A few people peep through their windows, scared, as Steele gets nervous and gets ready to leave.
Steele: Aye Train, let’s get out of here before more of these niggas pop up like Resident Evil!
Steele and Train throw their shit back into the truck and hop into the driver and passenger seats, quickly turning the key and driving off as the driver slowly raises his fist and tries to shake it, but in the process he breaks his wrist, the car long gone from the scene of the attack. A few hours later… Steele and Train arrive at what seems to be a huge hotel, placed smack dab in the middle of the beautiful island. As the car stops and both men hop out, they step into the warm sand and the sun continues to shine down onto them. It’s a beautiful sight if you ever saw one. Train points up ahead, not believing what he sees, he begins to run off ahead of Steele, who has to run off after him, wondering where the hell their going.
They stop, and standing outside of the hotel with a gigantic smile on his face is wrestling superstar, Kofi Kingston. Train begins to mark out.
Kofi: Hello mon’! Welcome to da islands! Of Jamaica!
Train: Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Jump over a ladder, jump over a LADDER!!! Where’s Mike Adamle!? DO THE LEG DROP THING!
Kofi: Heh, nono mon, see I got some time off from da “E”, so I’ve returned to my native land, and come back to help my momma and poppa with da family business. Da Hotel Anguta!
Steele: Anguta… why dat name sound familiar?
Kofi: We named it after our other side of da family, da Anguta‘s. You probably heard of them, one of them, my cousin was in ACW for a short while. You know? Sijweh!
Kofi, out of nowhere, begins dancing and clapping his hands as he moves left to right. Train laughs and Steele holds back laughter, as Kofi stops and nods his head.
Kofi: Yeah mon… him. Anyway, I’m here with you two, I want to show ya around da islands. Get ya acquainted all nice and cozy, then after dat we can go to da fire feast, which is a very sacred tribal tradition durin’ da early days of spring mon. Come! Let’s go.
Train: Wait, Kofi, let me ask you a question.
Kofi: Shoot mon.
Train: Where are you from?
Kofi: Ghana.
Train: I’M GHANA EAT YOU IN A SECOND! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Kofi just stares at Train, as Steele face palms. Kofi acts like he didn’t just...see...that (Oh thats Booker T), and he walks off into the hotel as the two follow. They walk for a few seconds, before reaching a elevator. Kofi presses some buttons and they go up on the elevator, to the top floor. They head to the room, as Kofi unlocks the door and shows off the extravagant and just awesome accommodations. Steele is taken back by it, as he walks in and checks out the beds, the bathrooms, and the free HBO after 8 p.m., Steele finishes his tour and peeps out the window. The wind smacking in his face, as he turns to Kofi and compliments him on his land.
Steele: Damn, dis place is nice man! Beautiful weather, clear ocean, and a ballin’ ass hotel. You got it made Kofi. Shit, I might even buy me a lil’ Road Steelers mansion out here for when I feel like gettin’ away one day… Yo Train, what you think?
Train feels the same, but not for any of that scenery bullshit. He saw the table of food and dug in, as he scoops up the table and lets the food fall into his mouth. Kofi watches on in shock.
Train: OM NOM NOM!
Kofi: Dat’s unnatural mon. Does he always eat like dat?
Steele: All day. Everyday. It bugged me out da first few times too, but ya get used to it. After a few months.
Kofi: I see.
Kofi watches as Train eats the table next. Whole.
Kofi: Wow. Okay. You two get ya shit ready, in a few hours it’ll be time for da feast. I’ll be back!
Kofi waves a temporary goodbye to his new friends as he leaves the room. Steele goes to the closet, and as he opens it up he realizes he forgot something.
Steele: Yo Train. Where our suitcases at?
Train: Oh… I forgot to tell you. They fell out the back of the truck. I saved a piece of pie though...then I ate it....mmm pie...
Steele: !
To Be Continued...
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Segment: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU pt. 1 (Credit: XS3)
We cut into the back where we see nothing more than a black curtain serving as a backdrop and a director-style chair in the middle. As the director of the segment motions for someone to enter, one man does enter and he doesn't get welcomed all that well by the fans of Stockholm, Sweden. Sure enough, XS3, dressed in the same clothes he had on Monday, takes a seat in the chair and listens to the booing in the background. He smiles with confidence.
XS3: Considering that this is a country that allows pop pansies like In Flames to win another Metal "Grammi" over Meshuggah and Opeth, your opinions are hereby void.
Instant heel heat, as Europe treasures their metal. Oh yes they do…
XS3: Tonight, there is something I want to get off my chest. Something I've kept bottled up inside me for a couple of months. Because, while we're on the subject of friends… There's one person who I always considered a friend, both inside the ring and out. Some of you remember him; others probably don't care about him anymore. His name was Tyler Scott Stevens, better known in ACW as Hitman of the Gods. Now Tyler and I, we go back a long way. We've been friends ever since we were teenagers. The two of us met when I went to a Tim Horton's camp back when I was 15. I was taken aback by his height as everyone who had met him did when they first saw him. But he was one of the kindest souls anyone could ever hope to meet. He had always had a heart of gold and would do more good than bad with his great size. Truly, there will never be another guy like him.
But as he got to ACW, I soon saw what this company was doing to him. ACW was the cancer that eventually killed one of my best friends. If anyone is to blame for his downfall, it is ACW. Don't try and deny it anymore, you sad little scrubs. Without any of the fans, Hitman would have been nothing… just like them. He felt the need to cater to all the fans that could've care less that he was even there. That's why he pushed himself harder than anyone I've ever seen. Hitman thought he would win a title… But no one would give him one because they knew they were scared that he would destroy every last competitor that ever stepped foot in the ring with him. That's why he pushed himself to the brink of death, which eventually culminated in his passing from heart failure.
But where was the tribute show, ACW? Oh wait, there was none! Because you all had to focus on hacks like Fallen Souls instead of even bothering to put a graphic of one of YOUR former employees! We didn't even get a mention of Hitman until two months later. Unfortunately, the only thing close to a tribute was that fat fuck Thunder Train running my best friend into the ground! His exact words were "He died because he WAS a failure!" How fucking dare you, Train! You should have been praising his name because if it weren't for him passing the torch to you, no one would even have given a fuck about you! You're an ungrateful piece of work, Train. People are going to remember Hitman as a giant who dominated ACW with no prize to show for it. Your only contribution to this unappreciative shithole was eating a live rattlesnake.
So here we are then. One year removed from Hitman beating Colossus Rhodes then going on to compete in his final match. All I can say is bless his family. I hope they never watch ACW again after that wideload dragged his name through the mud. It's the only way they can truly recover from this horrific tragedy, almost nine months removed from having their son, their brother, their relative taken away from them. I miss my brother to this day hence the tattoo on my stomach. "LEST WE FORGET", indeed.
ACW, what you have done to my brother… THAT is unforgivable.
All right, my therapy's done… And I feel good. Stay tuned for the rundown of the Road Steelers… Since I know you're ALL looking forward to it.
XS3 catches his breath after proving his blabbermouth skills and smiles with a tiny hint of disgust towards the people that he believes turned his back on him. Clearly, XS3 has more pressing matters to continue forth with.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:45:04 GMT -5
Segment: Good, Old-Fashioned Promo #52,000 (Credit: Lee) It’s hard work being the future of this business, but honestly who else can fill those shoes? Lee Homicide had just gotten the news from one of the road agents that he would be competing for the ACW Entertainment Championship on tonight’s edition of Thursday Night Meltdown. This was the chance that most guys in the back hoped for; not just any average Joe can get a shot at a bona fide ACW title belt, let alone take part in a match that could do so much for their career. Ah, life is looking up for Lee Homicide. After the heartbreak of not winning the Entertainment title the first time, he now has reason to smile once again. A blessing in disguise it truly is, now he’s free to chase the brass ring that everyone is ultimately after. So as Lee passes through the backstage area, he can’t help but pause when he sees that ACW’s interviewer is standing by with nothing to do. Lee cockily walks up to her, while she looks slightly ecstatic to finally make use of the microphone she’s been holding all nightLee: I couldn’t help but notice you were standing here looking like a doofus with nothing to do. So being the chivalrous gentleman that I am, I decided to make your night, hell, your life! By granting you an interview with moi. Charlotte: Well, gee, thanks. Rest assured I’m just as good as that hack Kevin Anderson. Lee: I’m sure you are, princess, but you’re starting to ramble. Nobody wants to hear about your sob story. The people tune in to see me...the MAN! So I’m going to need you to read off of these cards I had made up for you, wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself from thinking too hard. Lee hands her a stack of index cards, presumably with pre-written questions on them. She stares at them for a second, before shrugging her shoulders and going along with it. Lee just shakes his head in dismay. Where do they find these people? Lee wouldn’t ponder the urgency of such a question for too long. Hell, he only needed her to stand there and look pretty; he could handle all the talking. Right now on ACW, Lee could pretty much say whatever he wanted. No worry of being censored by the good folks at any of the conventional American TV networks. No, he could be raw, real and uncut. He wouldn’t have to tone it down because children might be watching at the 8:00 hour. Charlotte looked down at the cards one last time before beginning with the interviewCharlotte: OK, first off, you’ve been known to be rather brash, cocky and loud. Do you feel like these attributes accurately describe you or are you just a misunderstood guy in here in ACW? Lee: I could be the most misunderstood person on this planet! Well, maybe with the exception of Andrew Hunter, that guy has some serious problems. But back to me. If all people see is this brash, loud, arrogant guy then yeah, they get part of the picture. But what you all mistake for arrogance I simply call confidence. I can’t help it if I’m better than 99.9 percent of the boys in the back. I came here to be the best, not to play dress up and make friends with everyone. If that was the case then I’d be playing Go Fish with Gary right now. But if I were to do that, then I couldn’t be the star that this company needs me to be. You see, what I do affects each and every employee of this company. Every day when I wake up I have the weight of a company on my shoulders. Do you know what kind of pressure that is? Of course you don’t. You just stand there and hold the mike while important people like myself actually say things of importance. I don’t give a damn what people in the stands or the boys in the back think of me. I’m here to continue the great tradition of professional wrestling. I’m here to change the sport just like icons like Latino, Alicia Kitsune and BK London did. The difference is that by the end of my wrestling days, when I finally decide to hang up my boots, my star will have shined the brightest! When it’s all said and done, they won’t be able to mention any other names in the same breath as mine. That is the level of greatness that I aspire to, and if that adds to the hatred along the way, then so be it. Charlotte: Recently you’ve aligned yourself with one of the most dominant factions in ACW history, the Road Steelers. Why would you, being the star that you are need to be a part of a group? Lee: I chose to associate with the Steelers because they equal greatness. Plain and simple, when you think of ACW you think of two things: the Road Steelers and Lee Homicide! Why not bring together two of the hottest things going in wrestling today? It’s pretty simple when you think of it that way, but then again they don’t pay you to think do they? Charlotte frowns at Lee who doesn’t even bother to look at her as he speaks. This was his moment, and he didn’t have time to verbally break down the beautiful blonde that stood beside himLee: When you think about it, I mean really think about it; the Road Steelers are the perfect fit for me. You’ve got Jake Steele, the mastermind if you will. Thunder Train might be the most physically imposing champion we’ve ever seen. And now add me into the mix, the future of this sport and you’ve got a group that cannot be rivaled...by anyone! I am well aware of the target that is on the back of the Steelers as a whole. Most people don’t like us, but then again I didn’t get into this to win a popularity contest. I came here to show and prove that I am the absolute best. Road Steelers are about the same thing. We run the show. Hell, if we wanted to, we could run the entire ACW. We are the top dogs of wrestling! We rule ACW with an iron fist, and if anyone is dumb enough to get in our way, we simply run them over. See the way things are shaping up 2009 is going to be a very good year for Lee Homicide. I’ve already got one title belt around my waist, and tonight, I plan on making it two. Charlotte: Yes...yes. Tonight, you compete against Dave Shadow, Jack Jefferson, and Chris Phenomenal for the Entertainment Championship. How does it feel to get such a huge opportunity? Lee: How does it feel?! How do you think it feels? I get to slap around three pissants on my way to yet another prize! You see, there isn’t a man alive who will stop me from adding another trophy to my collection. It’s my duty to capture another illustrious honor for my brothers in the Steelers. It’s up to me to carry the torch because honestly who else is even worthy of such an honor? Nobody! I’ve been biding my time since I showed up. Let’s face it, I’ve been the talk of ACW since I arrived. That isn’t going to change any time soon either, Charlotte. This is what I have been training for, I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to carry this place on my back. I’ve sat and watched as men like the Mach, Dan White, Thunderkiss and Jonny Hughes get title shots ahead of me. That has to be the biggest travesty in the history of this great sport. Gingerdude couldn’t ignore me any longer.. I’m going to win this match tonight with yet another show-stealing performance. The way things are looking, they might as well hand me that golden belt right now because there isn’t a man on any roster who can hang with me in the ring. Certainly no one here on ACW has what it takes to defeat me. The other three nincompoops who dare to stand in my way tonight will know the name of the one who possesses the destiny of a legend. itzLEE... [/size][/font][/center] Lee walks off leaving the gorgeous interviewer slightly perplexed on her face. Then without warning he comes back and simply looks at her without a trace of emotion...yuhBITCH! [/size][/font][/center]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:45:35 GMT -5
Match 1: Rawt vs. Jin--One Fall to a Finish (Credit: Chris Phemoninal)
With a record of 4-0 since returning to ACW, “The Crippler” Rawt Ross stepped into the ring with everybody’s least favourite Asian, Jin. In a battle of pure brute strength vs. cunning martial artistry it would be interesting to see which style would come out on top this week.
The Beginning[/u]
The match started off with an intense stare down before the two engaged in a test of strength, Jin trying to turn the wrist over before Rawt had enough and delivered a tight arm drag and then kept him in an overhand wrist lock. Jin eventually fought to his feet before delivering a few wicked kicks to the tree trunks Rawt calls legs. Jin connected with a roundhouse kick to the side of Rawt’s head, or so he thought but instead Rawt caught it and pulled him in before lifting him up, looking to end things early with the Bomb Drop. Jin however was not ready to end this match and instead fell over the back flipping Rawt over with a sunset flip that got him a two count. This may not have been for the best however as when Rawt got to his feet the look on his face showed business was about to pick up. Jin tried to weave around connect with his Jin Kick combo but Rawt blocked it and jumped in and started using his head as a battering ram, connecting with a total of ten head butts before scooping him up and taking him out with a inverted sit down piledriver, the canvas rattling as the referee counts the fall. …1 …2 NO!
The Middle[/b]
Even at this early juncture in the match Rawt appeared to be holding serve, having pinned Jin into a corner after his piledriver and unleashing on him with flurry of right hands and another head butt, but Jin in an act of desperation caught it and wriggled his way to the ropes before locking in an illegal spider hold as the referee counted him off. When he got to four Jin released the hold as Rawt clutched his shoulder, trying to relieve the pan. Jin took advantage cranking him with a high kick to the head, and followed it up with another before dropping out to the floor and hanging Rawt on the top rope. Rawt takes a few moments on the outside to compose himself as Jin also tries to recover from the onslaught. Rawt uses the steps to clamber back into the ring as Jin looks on and the two know this thing is nearing the end. The two engage before Rawt ducks out and puts Jin into a side head lock. Jin tries to push him off but as he does Rawt reverses whipping Jin into the ropes and not letting go as on the rebound he takes his fucking head off with a massive clothesline that garners a two and a half count.
The End[/u]
Once again in control of the match Rawt takes it to Jin, stomping him until he rolls out of the ring and then following him out, slamming his head on the apron, then the announce table before capping it off with a shot to the ring post before rolling back into the ring to break the count. As Rawt whips Jin into the ring steps dislodging them McNally and Edison comment on how brutal this match is getting and how much more Jin could possibly take. The answer isn’t that much as Rawt throws Jin into the ring before sliding in himself. Rawt lined him up and once Jin got to a solid base he wasn’t there for long as Rawt connected with a running big boot. Rawt could have shown mercy and possibly ended the match after that but wasn’t content with a simple win. Instead he waited for Jin to get to his feet and from there connected with a vicious Rawt shot, almost splitting Jin in toe before finally putting an end to the carnage, not even bothering to hook the leg as the referee counted the fall with their being very little doubt as what was about to come. …1 …2 …3 With the hand falling for the third time it was official, Rawt had just decimated another superstar and putting his record since his return to 5-0.
The Winner[/u]
By pinfall following a Rawt Shot…Rawt![/u][/I]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:47:32 GMT -5
Segment:"Another day at the office" (Credit: Markus Rogers) ---------- *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
I swear to God, if that thing doesn't shut off, I'm gonna...
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* I hate my alarm clock. Two days of blissful, unadulterated laziness shattered by the piercing shrill of my alarm clock ringing out loudly throughout my apartment trying to wake up every living being within earshot. Trying to wake up the fucking dead aswell by the sounds of things. I really hate my alarm clock. Reluctantly, I drag my almost lifeless corpse out from underneath the covers and lash out at the alarm clock hitting an array of buttons until it finally manages to shut off and stop making noises. I sit upright on the side of my bed, my eyes open, but my brain completely frozen, I'm practically sleeping with my eyes open as the alarm clock flickers and the time changes to one minute later than the time I'm supposed to wake up at. Time to go in to Auto Pilot... It's the same routine every morning. It's become so familiar to me that without even thinking about it, I'm able to move around the apartment and get myself ready to leave for work, whilst having little conversations in my head about how cool it would be if I could fly, or how cool it would be to run out in to the street stark naked...It's like I'm a visitor in my own body as it moves around getting things done without me actually being there. The routine always starts off the same; 07:01 - Get out of bed one minute later than I was supposed to do. 07:03 - Turn the shower on, leave it running on the hot setting for a little while to give the boiler some time to get the water nicely warmed up 07:04 - Morning dump. Nothing too strenuous. Maybe some light reading? 07:10 - Wipe ass, jump in the shower. Lemon essence shower gel for the body, medicated shampoo for the hair. 07:17 - Jump out of shower, get dried and head to the bedroom. 07:20 - Get dressed *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* I hate that fucking alarm clock. 07:25 - Turn alarm clock off and curse out loud at the fact that I mistakenly left it on snooze. 07:26 - Brush teeth. Exactly seven minutes, circular motions. 07:33 - Quick glass of milk, and dash out the front door. That's it. Unfortunately, the start of the day is usually the good part. With that in mind, I bet you're thinking "You must live one amazing life!". If only. I get to the bus stop at exactly 07:38 after a brisk walk for about two blocks. It's always the same old people, the same faces with the same unsatisfied expressions queueing for the same bus to take us in to the same centre of the same town where we can all go our seperate ways to enjoy a day filled with menial tasks and chores to complete. Yay. Go us. I get to the office at just after 08:01, I'm late again, by a whopping one minute. I know, an absolute fucking travesty. As always, Janice is sitting on my desk with a pile of paperwork and looking none too pleased. Here we go, the same conversation that I've had every day for the past two years.... Janice: "Good afternoon Markus, I'm so glad you could join us today..."
Markus: "I'm sorry Janice. The bus was-"
Janice: "I'm not interested in your bullshit excuses. I've got a stack of paperwork that I need to be done by oh...yesterday..."
This is the point where I would love to just drop my jacket, pull my arm back as far as I could and unleash a massive right hook, knocking her clean off her feet and sending her shattered teeth sprawling across the office carpet as the rest of my colleagues watched on in awe. I'd stand over her triumphantly yelling at her at the top of my lungs "Take that you fucking bitch!"
Markus: "I'll get on it right away"
You're the man Markus. You're the man.
Janice: "You better think about bucking your ideas up mister. You know, folks like you are a dime a dozen, there's nothing stopping me from canning your sorry ass and just replacing you with a blind monkey...it'd probably get more work done..."
Markus: "I'm sorry Janice."
You. Are. The. Man. Here comes another amazing day at the office!
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:48:01 GMT -5
”Suffer For Your Art” Credit: Danny Mainer A dark and desolate city stands alone atop a high hill, it’s the not too distant future setting and everything looks a drab and miserable grey as a thunderstorm begins to roll along with a dark night sky. Rain starts to smash into the ground at high impact almost drilling holes into the concrete and the mud as people flee from the oncoming storm. We cut to a seemingly abandoned road in the slums of the city where one man looking kinda’ like Rich Marlowe with the trench coat and the top hat and the nervousness is clutching a briefcase as he pegs it down the street in slow-motion as the rain batters him and his clothes, every last well-defined droplet smashing into his threads and his flesh.
He suddenly darts to his left and into an alley-way as a black shadow flashes across the screen. Into the alleyway the man with the briefcase launches it over a chain-link fence at the other end of the alley and then flings himself over landing on his feet on the other side. He grabs the case again and then storms off into a dark and abandoned warehouse. Inside it’s in a state of total disarray and the Rich Marlowe look-a-like looks around incredibly nervous over the sound of clinking chains that can be heard around the warehouse. Looking for a quick escape, the nervous guy sprints through a thin gap between two rows of massive crates seeking shelter from whatever is pursuing him.
A backshot is shown of him and a black blur explodes out of one crate and smashes into the next causing the guy nearly to crap himself.Nervous Guy: “Oh dear GOD!!” He turns and continues to sprint as we’re shown a quick shot of a tall, dark figure standing on the gantry which overlooks the warehouse. Only the brilliant blue eyes can be seen of the man as the nervous guy continues to run. At the back of the warehouse the nervous guy heads up a set of stairs into the upper-floor where the offices would have been. Heading down a long stretch of corridor at full speed as sweat torrents down his forehead he lunges forward with a major shoulder barge sending the door flying off its hinges. Upon the desk in the abandoned office is a laptop with a dark blue screen saver waiting for him. He pulls out a USB pen and jams it into the laptop waiting for it desperately to load. It recognizes and just when he’s about to click onto it, the black shadow flashes across again and the dark figure drops out from the airvent. A glint of steel and a dark red tint connotating blood resulting in the guy dropping to one side clutching his shoulder in agony as the dark man stands next to the computer with a meatcleaver.? ? ?: ”I can not be stopped.”With that, the guy launches the briefcase straight into the face of his predator and he hits the ground with a heap. Gashed shoulder or not, he quickly resumes his place at the laptop and hits a few keys before sprinting into the distance back the way he came but as he heads out the door frame the mystery man’s cleaver is sent flying through the air. The nervous guy dives to the floor in the nick of time gaping as it smashes through a heavy-set glass window just the opposite of where he came. The mystery man resumes the chase and upon reaching near the end of the corridor he realizes his only way out is down so he takes the leap of faith and soars from a first floor window (second floor in America) gracefully towards the concrete mattress that waits beneath him. He hits the ground hard as the mystery figure slides down a pipe and hits the ground chasing after him. The nervous guy rolls around groaning as the dark figure catches up to him and jumps on his back as he attempts to run away. They both collapse and the mystery man in the mask rips off said mask to reveal it is none other then Danny Mainer.Danny Mainer: ”To succeed in anything you do, you have to suffer for your art… you have to take every ounce of the pain of being the greatest and you have to bleed it dry. I take pleasure in my suffering and you should too.”Nervous Guy: “What do you want goddammit?! I DID NOTHING!” Danny Mainer: ”That’s my point.”And with that, the screen cuts away and the sound of a slicing is heard. Then, we cut to a shot of a boatyard where Danny walks alone with a bloody meat cleaver down the pier towards the water. He holds the cleaver loose in one hand while with the other he opens a can of Relentless. He knocks it back and chugs it down before sighing heavily.Danny Mainer: ”To succeed you have to suffer for your art… I’ve done my suffering. Now it’s your turn. Relentless. No Half Measures.”And with that rather OTT and no doubt banned commercial overwith, Danny casually jumps into the water as we draw to a fade with the Relentless logo fading out. The screen turns to black.FADE
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:48:19 GMT -5
Segment: What better way to spend an evening than to watch a movie with yourself starring in it?? (Credit: ??/Hollywood Mach)
TUESDAY APRIL 7th, 2009
The scene opens up to a shot of outside of a big sign that says “Cinema” and as the camera pans down it shows none other than Mr. Hollywood, and a bunch of people around him that look like to be either friends of his or just a posse that he travels with. As the camera gets closer to him the audio is kicked in.
Hollywood Mach: Man that was such a great movie….who would of thought I would be such a good actor in my latest film?? I just can't get enough of Chase to Warlock Cove!
Cheap plugs woo!
As they continue walking along the sidewalk, having a fun time, a gang of about 6 or so people shows up and threaten Mach and the other for their money.
Gang Member guy: Alright everybody this is a robbery….wait a second is that Mr. Hollywood Macho Man RDK?
RDK stops being scared for a moment and acts more relaxed.
Hollywood Mach: Why yes I am I --
Gang Member guy: Hey Billy! Check it out! It’s Mr. Hollywood!
Billy: WE DONT TAKE KINDLY TO HOLLYWOOD AROUND HERE!
Macho Man cowers again.
Billy: WE ARE TIRED OF YOUR HOLLYWOOD SHIT!
Hollywood Mach: Woah Jabroni! Woah! Jemima don't take too kindly to pot-lickers like ya'self either! Twiddly twiddly yo' ass on on outta here and maybe The Mach won't layeth the smackdown and check you in to the MACHO MOTEL! YEAAH!
A friend leans in and whispers to Mach.
Friend: You think you can take them?
Hollywood Mach: Absolutely, 100%! Who better than the Mach to take on all these jabronis?[/color]
Mach motions for everybody to stand back and he rolls up his sleeves and the first one comes at him but he’s able to fend him off easily. However the next wave is 2 guys coming towards them and just as it looks like it’ all going to go downhill for the Mach, a man in black shows up and helps assist him with defending the group of Mach followers and Mach himself.
As everybody is laid out on the sidewalk Mach and the masked man look at each other for a couple of seconds while they both catch their breath.
Hollywood Mach: You know, I didn’t need your help with that…
??: You’re welcome brud from a different mudah. You're very welcome.
Just as fast as the guy showed up, he disappeared down an ally way and once Mach makes the connection between him and the notes he’s been getting and this, he looks down an ally way but sees nobody there… He walks back to the group of people who are all chatting about what just happened.
Girl: Wow I wonder who that was, he’s so mysterious and dreamy…
Hollywood Mach: Pfft….The Mach can so kick his ass..
End Scene.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:49:05 GMT -5
Segment: With Dingo and the Baby (Alternate Title: OMFG, Lee does radio promos better than CP!) (Credit: Lee)
The day before Meltdown, and everything is full steam ahead for ACW. Fans from all over the world are converging on ACW Island for another major sports spectacile. Trying to maximize the exposure, ACW has sent Lee Homicide out to the premier radio show in the city: Dingo and the Baby! That’s right; Lee Homicide will be visiting the two craziest radio personalities in the history of radio. Walking into the station, Lee looks surprisingly down to earth. The hosts are up to their usual antics, something along the lines of the chances that Michael Jackson is in fact a white woman now. Lee can only shake his head and laugh. The show’s director pulls him aside to give him a heads up about the flow of the interview
Director: Nice to meet you. So this is your pretty basic interview, well maybe not basic. They might decide to scrap the whole thing and throw some pretty random questions for you, so stay on your toes.
Lee: Haha. I’ve listened to the show before; I think I’m pretty well prepared. Are they at least going to bring up the show?
Director: They should, but you never really know with these two. If they don’t, just bring it up.
Lee: No problem.
Director: Alright, good luck out there. ( mumbles ) You’re going to need it.
Lee: Huh? What was that?
Director: Oh nothing...nothing at all.
Lee gives the director a strange look before grabbing a bottle of water, waiting for the current segment to wrap up, and his turn on the hot seat. It’s a wonder he actually agreed to do this, although Lee likes to hear himself speak, he rarely ever does interviews outside of ACW programming. But like him or not, he is one of the most recognized faces in the company he had the obligation to stir up some interest in the show. People can only take so much of Dan White and XS3, and that’s where Lee comes in. But Dingo and the Baby? Well their target demographic is males, ages 15-24, so it goes hand in hand with what the ACW wants.
Dingo: So you’re trying to tell me that Michael Jackson is a white woman?
Baby: Well look at the proof man. He’s got the permed hair, milky white skin, and he wears lipstick. What more proof could you possibly need?
Dingo: You do have a point there. But the man gave us hits like: “Bad”, “Thriller”, “Billie Jean” and “Do You Remember the Time?”
Baby: What in the bloody hell? He’s a singer? I thought he was just the real life version of Cap’n Crunch. You mean he actually has talent?
Dingo: You can’t be serious. You didn’t know that Michael Jackson is the king of pop?
Baby: Newsflash! I’m a frickin’ BABY! How am I supposed to know these things? If it isn’t Britney Spears or Usher, it’s ancient to me.
Dingo: Well, you’ve got a good point there. And he just might be a white woman now. Let’s not even get into his personal life though. What with the amusement park in his backyard and the petting zoo.
Baby: Amusement park? Petting zoo? I’d like to take a trip there. Sounds like it’d be a fetching good time.
Dingo: Trust me, you really don’t want to go there. Mike might take a liking to you and the next thing you know he’ll be hanging you over a balcony.
Automated laughs
Baby: Haha...alright now switching gears. What’s the biggest show on TV nowadays, Dingo?
Dingo: Um...Rosie O’Donnell?
Baby: Wrong, although she is a freaking whale these days. It’s ACW!
Dingo: Oh! I used to love wrestling. I was a huge Torak fan. I used to have the bandana mask and everything.
Baby: Yeah I know, I think you were wearing it last Tuesday.
Dingo: You saw me that on? Now that’s just embarrassing.
Baby: What part of your life isn’t embarrassing? But I digress. Today with us in the studio is the ACW’s own, Lee Homicide.
Applause
Lee: Thanks for having me, fellas. Huge fan of the show.
Baby: Cool, cool...glad to have you hear. You’re a lot bigger than I had imagined.
Lee: Well, I do stay in the gym as often as possible. In my line of work, you have to be in tip top physical condition. So I work hard to achieve what you see before you.
Dingo: So you’ve never dabbled in the magic pills?
Lee: Magic pills?
Dingo: You know...steroids.
Lee: Oh, now I’ve never been one to use steroids. Come on, look at me, do you think I would taint something so naturally perfect? I leave that stuff to the big muscle heads who don’t know a wristlock from a waist lock. I rely on my natural ability and my brains to get me ahead in the wrestling business. I’m more of a throwback to guys like Wyvern. He was never the biggest, but he was always the smartest. That’s what I am, the smartest wrestler out there today. Not only am I the fastest rising star, but also the guy shines above all the rest.
Baby: I see you’re not short on confidence there, huh bucko?
Lee: In my business, and when you possess the skills that I do, you can’t afford to be short on confidence. You’ll get eaten alive.
Baby: OK, so let’s play a game. We’re going to do a slight “if you could be anyone type of deal”.
Lee: Alright, sounds good to me. Shoot.
Dingo: Alright, first up. If you would compare yourself to any actor, who would it be and why?
Lee: Oh that’s an easy one. I’d have to go with Jack Nicholson. I’d go with Jack because no matter what type of role you put him in, he’s going to shine just like me. Whether it’s a comedy, he can be funny as hell. If you want drama, he’ll make you cry or feel bad for him. He’s just the complete package like myself. If you want the best you go with Jack Nicholson, and if you want the best in wrestling you go with Lee Homicide.
Baby: OK how about in sports? Who most reminds you of yourself?
Lee: Umm, that’s a tough one actually. There are so many great athletes out there. But if I have to pick one, I’m going to have to say--as much as this hurts--Tom Brady. I’m a Giants fan through and through, but that guy knows how to win. Every level he’s won, and that’s what I continually do. I simply know how to win. That’s what I’m here for and it’s what I strive for. He helped build a dynasty up there in New England. I’m starting my own little dynasty in ACW, hopefully the similarities continue. I mean he’s a young guy on top of his game, and I’m a young guy on the verge of greatness. No matter what the situation is, he finds a way to win and that’s my style. It may not be pretty but it’s going to be damn well effective.
Dingo: So what exactly is this big show, that’s happening Thursday night?
Lee: It’s gonna be yet another rockin’ good time with the fine folks at ACW with Thursday Night Meltdown. The great thing about our company is that it treats every show as if it were the World Series, NBA Finals, the Masters, the Oscars all rolled into one huge show. All eyes will be on us in ACW Arena. This is a worldwide phenomenon, and I’m just happy to be a part of it. But obviously I’m going out there to win on Thursday. It’s what we’ve all been working for ever since I’ve signed with ACW, and a title win is a great career boost.
Baby: Oh OK, sounds quaint. And just what type of match will you be competing in?
Lee: Well, I’m gonna have to butt heads with three of the most talented superstars in the business today. So it’s really dangerous and should entertain the hell out of the fans. Somebody is likely to get hurt and carried out on a stretcher. So if you like violence this one is definitely for you. And the big prize for the winner is the Entertainment Title, something that’s boosted the careers of so many prolific ACW superstars. So you know there are going to be a lot of hungry guys out there for this one. My main goal is to not die and to make sure I’m the guy who walks away with that title belt in hand.
Dingo: Well you sound like a confident guy, thanks for your time and good luck.
Baby: By the way, do you think you could introduce me to, say, Misono Matheson?
Lee: I might be able to, but I’ll warn you beforehand that she isn’t available. She’s dating my homeboi, Jake Steele, or as I like to call him: the black Carson Kressley
Dingo: A black Carson Kressley? That gives me a wonderful idea for our next segment. You thinking what I’m thinking, Baby?
Baby: Oh yeah I’m on the same page as you. Someone call up Johnny Depp, and go the nearest store and pick up some peanut butter. This is going to be better than the time we prank called Starr Jones, posing as Dominos.
Dingo: Haha...that was classic. We’ll be right back!
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:49:29 GMT -5
Match 2: The Senator vs. Jonny Spade (Credit: Jake Steele) MATCH BEGINNING:The match starts of like most. The Senator and Jonny Spade lock up, Senator gets the early edge as he grabs Spade by the arm, and drops a elbow right in the middle of his limb, causing Spade to drop to a knee, but only momentarily. Spade hops back up, right into a shoulder block by The Senator, he cocks back, Senator following it up with another shoulder block. Spade cocks back again, Senator now holding onto Spade’s wrist and launching him into the ropes. Spade rebounds off and Senator drops him with a swift dropkick to Spade’s knees. Spade falls to the mat, and Senator pounces, locking in a Rear Facelock. With the move tucked in, he slams his fist against the throat of Spade, causing Spade to clutch his throat and get some of the wind knocked out of him, Senator letting go of it and rolling off. MATCH MIDDLE:Another submission locked in, Senator still has Jonny Spade right where he wants him. A second Rear Facelock applied, only this time the pressure is added and it lasts much longer. Spade almost looks like he is gasping for air, but eventually he inches back to the ropes and throws his foot on the bottom ring rope. He breaks out of it and slides out of the ring, he and the Sweden folk surprised by the ruthlessness of The Senator. It seems as if it almost a competitive edge has been awoken back inside of Senator, and he looks ready to go. Spade slides back into the ring and Senator almost instantly catches Spade in the gut with a body blow, before he puts him in a Suplex position. Before he can lift, Spade blocks it with his leg, placing it between the inner thigh of Senator. Spade reverses it and lifts Senator into the air, the advantage possibly in his favor now. Senator rises back to his feet and Spade catches Senator with a dropkick, followed up by a Tornado DDT as Senator finds himself pressed up against the corner. Spade pins and gets a two count. MATCH ENDING:Now towards the ending moments of the match, Jonny Spade and The Senator go back and forth, putting their best efforts forward to keep one another down. Although it seems that a reversed Silver Spade is what truly turns the tide of this match. As Spade holds Senator in a Catatonic Crossbody position, he swings The Senator around, but his efforts are spun into a DDT head first into the mat and rolled up into a small package, otherwise known as the High Angle Inside Cradle. Spade kicks out right before the three count, but the damage was initially done. Senator rolls out of the ring, taking Spade by his legs and dragging him down the mat. Senator leaves his body half hanging on the apron, as he hops onto it and puts Spade over the rope like clothes hanging out to dry. Senator climbs back into the ring, and begins to step back… before he runs and everyone goes wild for the… AIG Knee!
It’s completely academic from there on out. Senator gets the victory. Winner: The Senator
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:49:48 GMT -5
War of Words... By Dave Shadow and Chris Phenomenal
As we cut backstage, we find Charlotte King standing in a coridoor. Behind her, a door proudly displays the new logo of the greatest team now in ACW; Zero Tolerance. She stares at it for a few moments, before knocking gently on the wood. She waits for a few seconds, her eyes nervously darting up and down the hallway. The door opens, as Dave Shadow walks out. A smile spreads across his face, as he comes out into the hallway and closes the door behind him. He holds the ET title over his shoulder, proudly displaying it for all to see.
Dave: King. To what do I owe the pleasure?King: Well, I thought I’d see could I get an interview before the match starts tonight. Dave: Sure. Tell you what though. How bout I make your life easier. Dave grabs the microphone off her and grabs the lenses of the camera, pulling it so that he is now the center of attention.
Dave: See, I actually requested this Entertainment Title match here tonight. I’m a fighting champion, and I’ve already said my primary goal is to make sure these titles are on the best candidates. So, I asked Gingerdude to put me in a match with three people tonight. Three representatives of other groups who think they are the dominant force here in ACW.
I asked him to put me in a match with Jack Jefferson. The man who stole my title less than two months ago, and who ran round with it around his waist, thinking he was a champion. He aligned himself with The Empire. My hatred of that group is well documented, and yes, you three may have got the better of me at Genocide, but that just means I’m out for revenge. I showed you once what it means to be a champion, and tonight...I’ll show you again.
Then, we’ve got Lee Homicide, a member of the Road Steelers. See, they think they are magnificent cause they have a few titles in their group. Well, all the other titles. Not this one though. I’m sure the Steelers would love nothing more than to claim that they hold every title that this promotion has to offer, but I hate to break it to them. I don’t plan on losing this title to a bunch of whiney suck ups like them. I’ve beaten Lee before, and unfortunately for him, I’ll do it again here tonight.
Which leaves me with the last participant of the match. The one man who I actually have not beaten yet. And that man is....Dave pauses and looks to his left, his smile disappearing. The camera pans to the side, to reveal what has caught his attention. The crowd boo, as Dave says the name of the man who now stands beside him...
Dave: ...Chris Phenomenal.Chris: The one and only, long time no see Dave.[/I] Chris puts his arm around the shoulder of Dave Shadow who gives him a look as Chris puts on the goofiest looking grin. The air is silent for a few moments before a light bulb flashes Chris’ head.Chris Phenomenal: Oh I’m sorry Dave, I interrupted you JUST as you were about to talk about me.[/I] Chris smiles at Dave who looks at him, not amused by his antics up and to this point. He nudges the arm of Chris Phenomenal off his shoulder before continuing on. Dave: Yeah, Chris. I was. I was about to say that I respect what you do and what you’ve done so far in ACW. You’re chasing me up the ladder and I can appreciate that. But you’ve got to know that tonight, your climb to the top comes to a halt. You’re just like me, but one step behind. So I will take great pleasure in beating you.Chris: I’m sure you always take great pleasure in beating it Dave, but never the less, you got your hands full tonight and that often isn’t the case. I am touched however by your thoughts though, how you “respect” what I’ve done. If that’s the case Dave, why when I joined that old promotion of yours was I blackballed, forced to the B-show and then served my walking papers as a cost cutting move. I know your ship was starting to sink, but you had an A-list talent on your roster, you had a man who had up and to that point in his career delivered ratings, I was at that point the hottest free agent in the wrestling world and surely, every penny you would have paid I would have made back for you ten fold.
You see I look at this match tonight not only as a shot at the Entertainment title, but also as retribution. You see, I want to prove to you that you made a mistake not hanging onto me, that when you called me a “generic hoss” that you were sealing your eventual fate. Karma isn’t fickle Dave Shadow and eventually it bites you in the ass, and tonight it’s also going to take your gold. You see Dave, I could really fuck you over, just as you did me. I could walk into that ring and make a side deal with Jefferson that I’d take a dive, allow him to cover me and take the title from you just like that in exchange for a one on one match at Fallen Heroes Dave. How would you like that, just as you screwed me, I could screw you back ten fold.[/I] Dave: Oh, congratulations Chris. You know some big words. What? Am I meant to be scared now? What makes you think The Mega Star Alliance even deserves to be on the same show as Zero Tolerance? With Gingerdude, we’ve got power. With Thunderkiss, we’ve got experience. And with me, we’ve got ambition and talent. We’re the perfect team. And I hate to break it to you Chris, but your Mega Star Alliance is nothing more than a washed up has-been leading a rookie who doesn’t know a suplex from an armdrag and a brain dead idiot who really doesn’t belong on the same roster as us. I’ll let you figure out who is who Chris.Chris: Let me see Dave, over the past two weeks dating back to the pay per view you and Thunderkiss have won a total of, oh let’s see, one match. In that same span the Mega Star Alliance has won four. At Genocide you lost to a bunch of limey’s including Jack Jefferson, the same man who I beat last week. Sure you came in and cold clocked Dan White but seriously, a blind side attack, who the fuck do you think you are Dave, Danny Mainer or some shit. Quite frankly I’m not concerned about whether I’m a rookie who doesn’t know a suplex from an arm drag, because right now I’m looking at a nobody, a strange little man who ruined the one thing he had going for him. Blame the pixies David but EVERYBODY knows exactly what happened. Your ego got just a little too large and it caused a collapse, just like tonight the same thing will happen. First it was your promotion, but now David it’s something a lot more grander than that, because tonight I’m taking your ACW Entertainment Title and bringing it back home to Harlem. Now I wish you best of luck, you’ll need it.[/I] Chris turns and walks away from Dave, as Dave’s face twists into an angry snarl. He looks after Chris, disgusted that he did not get the last word in their war of words. But it doesn’t matter who won this battle; the war is yet to come...
[FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:50:05 GMT -5
”Fuck Me Sideways” Credit: Danny Mainer ”Closer” by The Nine Inch Nails hits as Danny Mainer staggers out of the curtain for the first of two times tonight with the hate filled words of the crowd ricocheting around the arena like bouncing bullets, none of which seem to hit Mainer directly as he skulks down the entrance ramp slowly using his cane for support. He looks left and right giving random people odd looks. A projectile soda is launched at the head of Danny, yet as if he is a psychic medium he collapses to the floor non-moving except for the occasional twitch and the audience kinda’ dies down and give him concerned looks as he begins to twitch. A violent spasm later and Danny is on his back rocking and tremoring on the ground, he then nips-up to his feet with a big grin on his face to the surprise of the crowd and the dismay as mean as it sounds. He then carries on his walk to the ring and jumps up the stairs climbing in casually.
He walks to the centre and throws both his arms up hoping to get some adoration from the fans but when nothing happens he snarls at them like a wild animal. Phillip Jones nervously hands him the microphone and high-tails it from the squared circle retreating to the safety of his ringside seat. Danny raises his jewelled cane in the air and waves the head around beckoning the audience to be quiet and soon they begin to quieten down enough for Mainer to speak.Edison: ”I wonder what he has to say to us here tonight! Probably gonna’ insult us or complain or something stupid like that!”Danny Mainer: ”Alright bitches! Listen up!”The crowd burst into jeering again, the ACW audience ain’t nobodies bitches.Danny Mainer: ”Here’s the deuce, I’m out here tonight because well… I’ve got something to say to YOU, the ACW fans. This is something that’s been a long time coming and is something I’m kicking myself over the fact that I haven’t said sooner because well and truly this has been so long awaited and so much longer needed that it’s actually hurting me that I’m only saying it now. You ready for it ACW fans? … I’m sorry.”Shock erupts through the audience at Mainer having apologized to them. Some explode into cheers while most just gasp.McNally: ”Sorry for what?”Danny Mainer: ”I’m sorry not to you, but to myself. For the last few months I’ve been sat on my ass moping about the past and how everything is ruined now. But in reality that couldn’t be further from the case. A great man by the name of Alexander Graham Bell, who the intellectual amongst us will recognize as the man who invented the telephone famously said “When one door closes, another opens but we spend so god-damn long staring at the closed one we fail to acknowledge the other one that just opened for us” and that is a cycle I have been stuck in for the last six months. HOWEVER! That ends tonight, starting now I’ll be taking every last opportunity I get. For those men and women out there that like gore, be ready because I’m going to be doing even more tearing apart. The King of Vegas has long been dead and that will never change no matter how much you plead but from this day onwards I’ll be righting wrongs. I’ll make sure that those mistakes I made are not made again and though I don’t regret what I did I find that I’m only destroying myself. I’m going to rebuild my life, I’m going to rebuild the very things I worked so damn hard to build in the first place and MainerMania will begin ONCE AGAIN!”McNally: ”Oh boy! Danny Mainer is back and he’s gonna’ give us another rollercoaster ride in the life of showmanship!”The crowd, fickle as always begin to cheer for the promises of Danny Mainer and his apparent face turn. He has a genuine, heart-felt happy smile for what maybe the first time since Thunderkiss compacted his arm and the crowd recognize that.Danny Mainer: ”Though I’ll never quite be the cocky kid I was a year ago, I’d like to think that I’ve evolved into a stronger person and tonight I shall prove that by taking on a man I’ve never fought before and a man I never want to have to face again. TONIGHT Thunder Train, I’m gonna’ start righting some wrongs and you’re going to get your facial features rearranged. You’ve never been anything more then Thunderkiss’s apprentice and if I can beat him then I can sure as hell beat you. I don’t fear the Om Nom Bomb and I sure as hell don’t fear your ugly self. You’re gonna’ be in for a butchering tonight Train! You can’t jest with the best ‘cause I’m a cut above the rest and you can bring Steele, you can bring Homicide, you can bring ol’ Mama Train to the ring with you but at the end of the day I’m gonna’ send you packing on the nicest little cruise that money can buy, a FIVE STAR PSYCHO HOLIDAY! People say that you’re a fat son of a bitch and sure you may have appetite but I see beyond the jokes and I see that you have unbelievable amounts of muscle and power. I acknowledge that tonight won’t be a cakewalk, no pun intended but speed and psychotics prevail and well win lose or draw, everyone here will see that I’m back from my vacation and lookin’ forward to kicking some ass!”The crowd roar with approval at his fighting talk and the conflict that is to happen but Danny waves the cane around again to hush his loving people who have all too easily been swayed back to life.Danny Mainer: ”Tonight I promise the dawning of a new era in the legacy of Danny Mainer, I’m going to be more macabre then I ever was! There will be more blood spilt per evening then ever before and quite frankly there’s gonna’ be more risks taken! I take to the skies like water off a ducks back and I plan to show off the very skills that made me beloved by everyone in ACW Island. On one final note before I head back to a refrigerator filled with Relentless and Chocolate Pudding I’ve got something to say. You may have also noticed an A.C. Evans absence parallel to mine and I can honestly say that I’ve already solved one of my many mistakes! Tonight is the turning point! WORSHIP ME!!!”He raises both his arms and the praise and worship falls upon him as if he is a true living legend. Brimming with happiness, “Closer” hits again and he vaults over the top rope and down to ringside heading up the ramp with a spring in his step as the screen turns to black. With promises of a renewed Danny Mainer, FADE
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:56:32 GMT -5
Meatballs, Abba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. ~ Credit: The Empire ~ It’s Wednesday and we find Dan White, Jack Jefferson and Jonny Hughes, collectively known as The Empire, making their way around the beautiful city of Stockholm the capital city of the European nation of Sweden. After a quick glance at the three men who all look completely flustered as they stand there is full length winter coats and jumpers it is clear they had not done their research on the climate of Sweden at this time of year before they came out. They reach the center of a local square and stop, taking a few moments to take in the sights and sounds of their surroundings. Hughes and Dan both look at Jefferson, with beads of sweat dripping down their faces as the locals all mock them for being so over-dressed. Jefferson shrugs at his stablemates.Jefferson: I thought it’d be a dam sight colder than this. Dan White: Yeah? Well thanks to you I’m sweating my bollocks off. Hughes: And we look like absolute twats.Jefferson shoots an apologetic glance at his stablemates who laugh and shake their heads at the idiocy of Jack Jefferson.Dan White: Now then, so what do we know about Sweden? What do they have here? Jonny and Jack both look to each other with blank expressions on their faces, what do they have in Sweden? Suddenly a lightbulb in Hughes’ head flashes and he comes up with something.Hughes: Oh they have them little meatballs they do in IKEA.All: IKEA... The Empire all stand there for a moment, each having a Vietnam flashback to a time when they each tried to assemble some flat pack furniture from the hell hole known as IKEA. They all snap out of it and get back to their conversation.Dan White: Surely they’ve got more than them little meatballs here in Sweden. They all go back to racking their brains when Jack Jefferson clicks his fingers.Jefferson: Zlatan Ibrahimovic! Hughes and Dan both look confused.Hughes: What about Zlatan Ibrahimovic?Jefferson: He’s Swedish! Dan White: Yeah but he doesn’t live in Sweden you mong, he probably lives in some palatial house in Milan. With 72 virgins, or something. Jefferson: Shit you’re right. Erm... The Empire go back to thinking about the culture of the strange nation they are in. When Hughes has an epiphany.Hughes: Oh and they have Abba!Dan and Jack both shake their heads at Jonny who has burst into an impromptu rendition of ‘Waterloo’ by the Swedish megagroup. He suddenly stops when his attention, much like that of his stablemates is drawn towards a nearby group of stunning, leggy blonde Swedish girls. The men all stare in wonder as the short skirted lovelies playfully wave to them before heading into a crowd. The members of The Empire all look to each other before exclaiming in unison.All: Swedish Girls! Dan White: They have them Swedish girls in Sweden. I knew there’s more to this place than Meatballs, Abba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic! Jefferson: I’ve always wondered where Swedish girls came from... Dan and Jonny both laugh and sigh at Jefferson’s stupidity before they realise that the group of girls who waved to them have disappeared.Hughes: Shit! Where did they go?The Empire scan the horizon, looking for the group of beautiful fillies who has just moments ago given them ‘the look’. Suddenly Jefferson spots them as they beckon for The Empire to join before giggling and entering a nearby bar.Jefferson: There they are! Enticed by the beauties they immediately shuffle across the square like a group of undead from one of George A. Romero’s movies as they hunt for brains, or in this case, hopefully brainless and beautiful Swedish girls to spend the night with. Just as they reach the doorway Hughes’ phone vibrates in his pocket and he grabs it, he tells the boys he’ll catch up with them before looking at his phone where he reads his text message.Meet me tomorrow night at Stockholm airfield. It’s important. [/b] He slides his phone closed and places it back in his pocket before taking a moment to stand there looking a bit confused at the text message before he decides to join his stablemates in the bar as we fade to our next scene.Fade
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 9, 2009 15:58:21 GMT -5
Segment: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU pt. 2 (Credit: XS3)
As we cut back from whatever just occurred, the Swedish fans resume their booing from before as XS3 still remains in his seat, ready to blab on about whatever he feels like as fans have come to know him by.
XS3: I'm glad you took an appreciation to my explanation, Jake. I knew your beady little eyes would be glued to the TV, watching every word I made. What a shame that a good majority of my words went right over your head, as always. That seems to be a common pattern for every time we interact, isn't it? I give you three warnings and words of advice and you continue to ignore everything I've said. All you had to do was listen to me, you three. That's right, I'm talking to all three of you. You had the audacity to overlook words of wisdom, possibly the most sage advice you misfits have ever received in your whole lives. Time and time again, you overlooked me and ran around, thinking everything was going to come to you just like that. I had to break out from the stable. I had no choice. Babysitting is not my gig. It never was and it never will be, thank the Lord.
That's why you let Lee Homicide join you. You didn't like my style of wrestling so you let him into the stable and select him to be your tag team partner and fellow champion. If you picked me, we would have been tag team champions again with me doing all the work as per usual. But I forgot. Things don't work that way in the Road Steelers' world. Lee, you were kissing my ass just a few weeks ago with your little "fan get-together". I'm surprised it didn't have a lower turnout than I expected. Regardless, you praised me as an honest veteran who was also apparently immature. Immaturity falls squarely on your shoulders, Lee, because from what I've heard, you've changed your tune drastically and now you perceive me to be nothing more than a "nostalgia act". Don't kid yourself; I was the best thing that ever happened to your pathetic, miserable life. As was the case, I gave you guidance when your job here in ACW was on the verge of failing. I talked you into apologizing to that putrid puddle of vomit named Jay Zero. But once again, I forgot. You shunned me and had dreams of boosting what little career you plan on having. Well, you know how the adage goes: one man's trash is another's treasure. In this case, society's trash became Jake Steele's treasure.
You know what, despite all this, I hope Lee Homicide walks out of the arena with the Entertainment title tonight. Then your stable will arguably be the first in ACW to hold every title at once. It will also confirm what everyone has known about you three for so long now: you're nothing more than greedy children, prepared to throw a temper tantrum when things don't go your way. Why don't you go ahead and extend an invitation to my opponent for tonight, Rattlesnake, to join your stable. You're just like him. He has promised many great things in the past. He promised to become ACW World Heavyweight Champion, take over leadership of the Senatorial Stable and he also attempted to completely dupe everyone into thinking he was a new mystery man, recycling the tired gimmick from last year and thinking it would work. It didn't and he fell flat on his face, failing at not only being a swerve master but also failing on the former two goals. And people call me the "Failed Artist".
Jake, you have failed me as well. You failed in comparing me to someone better than Jay Zero and Fallen Souls. I am not Jay Zero and I am not Fallen Souls. Because where they have faded into obscurity where they belong, I will forever be persistent in fulfilling my destiny. The instant I become ACW World Heavyweight Champion, I will die a happy man. You, on the other hand, will be lucky if people even speak a good word of you once your time passes. You will be the man that will be fondly remembered for taking things that never belonged to him. I'm not here to play mind games and I'm not here to mentally destroy you. I'm telling the truth, a brutal and honest truth. For every wrong that you have caused me, for every wasted minute of my career and for every breath I spent my life on trying to get you out of trouble…
All three of those sins… They ARE unforgivable.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a never-was to erase from history.
XS3 removes the attachable microphone from his shirt and kicks his seat aside, walking off to prepare for hell against Rattlesnake. As he leaves, the booing that has followed XS3 for the past few days have never truly left him.
Fade.
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