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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:31:17 GMT -5
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Match 1: Rawt vs. Mr. Red
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Match 2: Rena Matheson vs. Brent Garland
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Match 3: Thunder Train vs. Chris Phenomenal
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Match 4: Rattlesnake vs. Jason Freeman
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Match 5: Thunderkiss vs. Road Steelers V3 (Lee & Steele) - ACW Tag Team Championships
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:32:45 GMT -5
Instead of our usual intro where we cut to a segment backstage this time the scene cuts to the ring where there is a ref in the ring and our ring announcer Phillip Jones to help kick off this night.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:33:02 GMT -5
Match 1: Rawt vs. Mr. Red--One Fall to a Finish Credit: Chris Phenomenal
For the first time in almost three years Rawt Ross stepped into the ring by himself, facing an old foe of his in Mr. Red. Both men had much the same motives in this match, hoping to show that they could still bring it inside of the squared circle, and once again prove to the other that they were the superior man. With conflicting styles between these two vets it was sure to be interesting how this match would play out.
The Beginning[/u]\
The match started off with these two veterans looking for a discernible gap in their opponents defences, and with that not happening they engaged in a collar and elbow tie up. Rawt quickly transitioned out into a quick side head lock and held it there as Mr. Red tried to push his way out. Eventually he did sending Rawt into the ropes and on the rebound he looked to catch him with a big back body drop. Rawt however stopped shy of Mr. Red and delivered a vicious knee right to the temple knocking him back onto his heels. Rawt quickly pounces hitting Red with an inverted atomic drop and then a picture perfect face first DDT that gets him a two count. Rawt rolls off of him and picks him up by his hair and delivers a stiff right uppercut to his face, and then another, and another before using his head as a battering ram, once, twice and eventually ten times. With Mr. Red out on his feet Rawt hit’s the ropes and comes off before connecting with a running big boot that almost ends it, Mr. Red barely kicking out at two. Rawt picked up Mr. Red and delivered a textbook scoop slam and covered him with a forearm across the face, only getting a one count but serving a purpose
The Middle[/u]
With Rawt in control of the match everything seemed to be perfect. A couple of rough stomps to Mr. Red preceded a short arm clothesline after being hauled to his feet. Rawt went to the ropes and looked ready for a Rawt Shot, but as he came in at the last second Mr. Red avoided it, taking him down with a drop toe hold and quickly looks to lock in the Red Lock. Rawt quickly scrambles to the ropes in order to prevent the lethal submission hold as Red stomps the back of Rawt forcing the referee to jump in and call for a clean break. Rawt slowly gets to his feet as Mr. Red looks on, having stolen the momentum with a simple drop toe hold. As Rawt gets to his feet Mr. Red takes to the air and connects with a springboard moonsault knocking Rawt over and landing on top of him in a pinning predicament that garners a two count and further cements Red’s stranglehold on the match. Red got to his feet as Rawt shook of the cobwebs while staggering to his feet, and taking a textbook drop kick to the back of the head that sent him stumbling to the floor below. Red looked at Rawt on the ground and for a fleeting moment it was 2006 again. Showing that he still had it, as Rawt got to his feet, Red spring boarded onto the top rope before leaping off with a shooting star press landing perfectly on Rawt and knocking him to the canvas as the crowd roared.
The End[/u]
Mr. Red looked out at the crowd for a brief second before rolling Rawt back into the ring and convered him. The crowd shouted each time the referee’s hand fell but they were denied their third chance as Rawt was able to get the shoulder up as McNally and Edison at the announce table where in shock. Mr. Red looked unfazed by the developments. Looking at Rawt he know he can’t finish him off with the Drop of Red but knows he has other weapons in his bag. As Rawt uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet Red charges in looking for the Cincinnati Swing but on his approach Rawt used a surprising burst of speed using the ropes to propel him and catching Mr. Red off guard with a Rawt Shot, turning him inside out as the crowd was stunned. Rawt covered Mr. Red as the referee slid into position and counted the fall …1 …2 …3 With that Rawt rolled off of Mr. Red, victorious and having avenged his last loss inside of an ACW ring, as well as winning his first singles match since his return to the ring.
The Winner[/u]
By pinfall following a Rawt Shot…RAWT![/u][/I]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:33:39 GMT -5
OTA Segment: Welcome to Moscow! Credit: Jake Steele There comes a time in… in every wrestler’s career, moreso the career of a ACW wrestler, where they have chances. A chance to compete for a title, a chance to make a name for yourself, a chance to steal the show, and a chance to set your name in the record books forever. See, Jake Steele has had those chances, and he’s cashed in on them fully. He’s become the youngest World Champion next to Yoko Satoshi, he’s had a “Match of the Year”, he’s done many things that most men at his age who are into the wrestling business could only dream of. So with those chances already looked past, one Jake Steele has to look for new chances, and with the European Tour, and the new company of Rena’s little sister, Misono, that chance has arisen… and like always, Steele plans to go full in on that.
The duo of Jake Steele and Misono are, as most of the other ACW stars are, in Moscow, Russia. And because of that, Steele has no access to his car collection which currently resides in the US of A, so that means that he and his manager, female, friend have to take the Moscow Metro. It, like any other large form of transportation is filled almost to the brim with people. Standing, sitting, some even having to sit on top of the other just to get where they need to go. The latter of that is the case for Steele and Misono, as Steele sits on one of the seats, and Misono sits on his lap. Steele doesn’t seem to mind their seating order, but Misono isn’t exactly ecstatic about it. A few minutes pass, and fed up with silence, Misono questions where they are headed.Misono: So…where are we going? Steele: We goin’ to a little place called da “Red Square”. Misono: I think I’ve heard of this place before, it’s supposed to be like the best place to go for sight seeing. But… shouldn’t you be training too? You do have a big match with Thunderkiss this Thursday. Steele: Well, I figured… we in Russia, and we got a couple days until da show. I might as well check out where we at, and catch some sights. Instead of just sittin’ around in da hotel all day signin’ autographs, then goin’ off to train extra hard against somebody I know I can beat. Trust me, I ain’t even sweatin’ Kiss.Misono: Hehe, you’re right. It can’t hurt just to slip away for a few hours. All Aboard! Or however they say that in Russia. The Metro stops and everyone boards off. Steele and Misono walk a ways down the streets of Russia, until after about three minutes of walking they run into a rather large Russian man:This large and proud man stands up against the Taxi Car, and upon seeing the World Champ, he rejoices with a large smile on his face. Walking up to them, he greets them both.Mikhail Stalin: Walcum! To Masscow, Rushah. The Red Square! I ahm yer tour guide. Mikhail Stalin. I show you, both, my town of home. Masscow. Iss a beauteefull place. Please, get in Taxi Car. Steele: Aight, show us around dawg.Both Steele and Misono get into the Taxi Car, and Mikhail begins the tour. Their first stop is that of a large building type structure. Misono pokes her head out the window to get a better look. Steele peaks around her.Mikhail: Theese is Lenin's Mausoleum. Here, iss where body of Vladimir Lenin lies dead. He was famous founder of Soviet Union. He died long ago, 1924. They built tomb for his body, and laid him here. Steele: So dis nigga a mummy now or what?Misono gently elbows Steele in the stomach, which causes him to recoil in confusion.Steele: What!? I didn’t offend you Stal, right?Mikhail: Haha, no. I am very fond of your Americas style humor. It iss funneh. Now, let us continue. And so they continue along. They drive for a bit longer this time, until they stop at what seems to be a collection of long and pointy structures, which are red and other various colors. It’s a very unique design, but a famous one from what Mikhail tell us.Mikhail: Theese is Cathedral of Intercession of the Virgin on the Moat. Or you could just call it Saint Basil's Cathedral. Iss a multi-tented church on the Red Square in Moscow that also features distinctive onion domes. It iss very often mistaken by Americas for the Kremlin, as both buildings are very near each other. Arguably the most recognized building in Russia, it iss international symbol for nation and for city of Masscow. Cathedral was commissioned by Ivan the Terrible in Masscow to commemorate the capture of Khanate of Kazan, and built from 1555 to 1561. In 1588 Tsar Fedor Ivanovich had a chapel added on the eastern side above the grave of Basil Fool for Christ, a Russian Orthodox saint after who the cathedral was named after. Misono: It looks beautiful. And very stylish. Steele: shit look like disney land to me… Yeah! It uh, it looks real pretty and shit. I can dig it.Without a direction this time, Mikhail goes driving off to the next destination. And where they stop next is one of the widest and longest buildings you could find. People seem to be going in and out of it, but leaving with just as much as they came in with. It’s weird, but as always Mikhali is there to explain, as Misono continues to gaze at the sight.Mikhail: In Russia, we call theese GUM. Misono: GUM? Like… the stuff you chew? Steele: Dat’s a big ass piece of GUM. You can probably chew on dat for months. Must be da shit Willy Wonka uses.Mikhail: No! In Russia, GUM is name of our Main Department Store. The Upper Trading Rows were built between 1890 and 1893 by Alexander Pomerantsev and Vladimir Shukhov. The building iss combination of Russian medieval architecture and a steel framework and glass roof, which is very similar style to the great, but not as great as Russia, Victorian train stations of London. Nearby, is a very similar building, formerly known as the Middle Trading Rows. The structure, defined by William Craft Brumfield as "a tribute both to Shukhov's design and to the technical proficiency of Russian architecture toward the end of the 19th century" was built to replace previous trading rows that burnt down in 1825. The glass-roof designed made the building unique at time of construction. The roof looks light, but it iss firm construction made of over 50,000 pods of metal. Illumination is provided by huge arched skylights of iron and glass. The facade is split into several horizontal tiers, lined with red Finnish granite, Tarusa marble, and limestone. Each arcade is three levels, linked by walkways of reinforced concrete. Steele: So how many stores ya’ll got in there?Mikhail: Over 200. Misono: Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! Steele, Steele, let’s go shopping! Mikhail: No! The items in the stores are very, very expensive. Not even the richest man, Russian, or American, could afford anything. It would be a useless trip. Steele: Thank you jesus… aight, Stal, dis is a lot of cool shit, but I want you to show us da illest part of da “Red Square”. Like da place dat you would visit on any regular day. You feel me?Mikhail: I’m supposed to take you stop by stop. I’m sorry, but I can’t. Steele coughs to himself as he slides a hundred dollar bill over the shoulder of Mikhali. The driver looks back at the American money, and then at Steele, who’s smirking with a “you know you want to” face. Mikhali says fuck it, and takes the money. Mikhail: I can take you there now. That always works. Mikhali stuffs the bill into his pocket and they pull off, on a ride that far surpasses the other trips. Almost taking 20 minutes to arrive, it gives them time to check out a few quick sights, and conversate a little as they do. Pointing out various places, and sharing some laughs, it all seems to rush the time through as they stop. At a statue. Mikhali turns the car off, and gets out, allowing Steele and Misono out as he must really want them to see it up close.Misono: Oh, what is this statue called? Mikhail: Theese iss Monument to Minin and Pozharsky. Theese statue have longest story, so listen closely. The statue commemorates prince Dmitry Pozharsky and Kuzma Minin, who gathered the all-Russian volunteer army and expelled the Poles from Masscow Kremlin, thus putting an end to the Time of Troubles in 1612. The monument was made to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the events. The competition of projects was won by the celebrated sculptor Ivan Martos in 1808. In wake of Napoleon's invasion of Russia, the monument was not revealed until 1818. The construction was funded by public conscription in Nizhny Novgorod, the city whence Minin and Pozharsky came to save Moscow. The tsar Alexander I, opted for the monument to be located on Red Square of Moscow rather than in Nizhny Novgorod. Originally, the statue stood in the centre of the square, with Pozharsky waving his hand towards Masscow Kremlin. The Communist authorities, for whom the monument was obstructing military parades, discussed plans for its demolition or moving it to some indoor museum. In 1936, the statue was moved closer to the cathedral where it remains up to the present. On the first celebration of the Day of People's Unity, which iss November 4, 2005, a exact copy of this monument by Zurab Tsereteli was erected in Nizhny Novgorod. The copy is only 5 centimeters shorter than the Masscow original. Steele: Dat’s quite da story brah. Real educational. You done made me have a new appreciation for Russia, besides huge dudes like you brawlin’ wit each other and havin’ punches dat rank up to over 4,000 in power. And because of dat, I’mma give you a little tip.Steele pulls out a stack of folded up money, and he hands it to Mikhali, who takes it with much pride and joy as his eyes light up and the smile on his face can only be described as uber cheesy. He thanks Steele continuously.Mikhali: Thank you, thank you, thank you Americas! You are very grateful man! Steele: Don’t sweat it my dude.Steele wraps his arm around Misono as they walk off from the Taxi and head to the nearest Shuttle Bus. Steele takes Misono with him rather quickly, and she is almost unable to walk at the same pace as him, though she catches on. Steele looks back every few seconds, seeing that Mikhali is still rejoicing in his newfound riches. Misono doesn’t notice the awkward nervousness and fright over Steele’s face as she smiles and applauds his act of kindness.Misono: That was really sweet what you did back there… Steele: What can I say, I’m a generous muthafucka!They hop into a shuttle bus, and drive off presumably back to the arena.
But now… this leaves us with Mikhali Stalin. He gets into his Taxi, driving off and most likely ready to tell his boss that he quits. He drives and admires the bills, now unfolding them. And what he sees sets his happy feelings back more than a few notches. The faces on the bills aren’t Benjamins, Washington’s, or even Lincoln’s… instead… their Steele’s. The World Champion’s face plastered all over the money, Mikhali sees that he has been fooled. His face grows to that of anger, pure anger as he stops the Taxi short and mounts one word.Mikhali: … Compeeteeshun.Fade
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:34:02 GMT -5
Segment: Family values (Credit: XS3)
Monday, March 30, 2009 Maple Creek, Saskatchewan 4:12 PM
Lauren Terry looked away from her homework for a brief second to see the wind gradually picking up. She smiled, perfectly content with the current weather. The snow was melting and the sun was making sure that it would stay melted. Even with a wind chill, Lauren considered it to be a great day outside. She turned back to her math homework. Before she could resume the "ever-exciting" world of trigonometry, a knock at the door was heard. She was the only one home at the time so she shrugged and left her room, rushing down the stairs. Once the door was opened, she was quite surprised but still happy to see her local hero, Matthew Irvine, standing in the doorway. Accompanying him were Anthony Thompson and Kenji Kobayasha, as they had discussed a few days prior.
Lauren: Matt! Heya!
She smiled at him, expecting some joking around or even any news about Demon Inc. However, there was no smile present on Matt's face. Lauren's smile suddenly began to fade and her body soon tensed up upon seeing the three of them inching their way into her house. Lauren took a cautious step backwards.
Lauren: …wh-what can I do for you?
Sure enough, Anthony shut the door behind him, causing Lauren to briefly jump in surprise. Matt then reached into his pocket and pulled out the note that he had gotten back from AC Evans. He unfolded it and softly handed it to her before breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Matt: …we need to talk.
Lauren gulped nervously before looking down at the note inked in crimson. After an uneasy two minutes, she placed a hand to her mouth, neglecting to feel a single tear rolling down her face.
Lauren: Oh… Oh no…
Matt: Yes. Is this true?
Lauren looked away from her heroes and at one point bandmates. She was unable to come to terms of Matthew Keith Irvine finding out the hidden secret of the long-lost niece, thinking that her secret was safe forever. Finally, she gathered up the courage to look Matt directly in the eyes.
Lauren: …Matt… It's true. I'm your niece. And you're my uncle.
As Lauren softly lowered the note, Anthony and Kenji glanced at each other, both nervous at what Matt had planned to do to his newfound niece. Before anything else could occur in this already awkward situation, the door opened once more. Anthony and Kenji backed off to find Lauren's mother entering the house. She looked up to find Matt staring blankly at her. Mrs. Terry turned to see Anthony and Kenji shrugging and then finally turned to her daughter, who gave her a look that said "He knows." Mrs. Terry solemnly nodded and let a small sigh escape her.
Mrs. Terry: Oh… I've been waiting sixteen years for this day to come… Please hear me out.
Matt could not oblige her just yet; he had turned to Kenji.
Matt: Kenji, keep the car running. Anthony and I will be right out.
Kenji nodded and gave a small bow to the people present in the room before turning and leaving the house, closing the door behind him. Matt and Anthony then turned to Mrs. Terry, who had set her purse down on the counter. She paused to see Lauren still shedding tears before sighing once more and regarding Matt and Anthony.
Mrs. Terry: Parker and I hooked up at a high school dance in 1992 and I got impregnated there. Nine months later, Lauren was born. I told Parker to move on with his life while I took care of the baby because I knew he was bound to have a better life than me. The three of us never planned on telling anyone. Parker was never normally around home so Lauren and I always said that she never knew her father. People were unaware of the truth we were presenting. The three of us then sat down and decided we were going to plan this out. We never wanted to tell anyone face-to-face, so we decided a note would be good. He forgot to give it to you and went out with your two foster daughters into what would be their last trip. They never saw the truck that took their lives coming. Look, Matt, Anthony. We never meant any harm to your family by keeping this secret. We figured that the only way that we could keep Lauren safe was if we didn't tell anyone.
Matt and Anthony turned to each other and questioned why they were kept out of the blue so long. Anthony went to say something further but Matt stopped him, upon looking into Lauren's eyes. A story of sorrow and heartbreak from her would have added up to about five thousand words, if not more. Matt sighed and placed his hands inside his pockets.
Matt: Well, I can understand your "safe" comment, considering all the nutjobs I've been stuck with these past couple of months. We're not angry at you; we just found it surprising that he had neglected to tell us, considering we were his only friends.
Anthony: Either way, we're just happy we know you. And don't worry. As long as you are family, you two will always be safe.
Lauren's tension was suddenly lifted from her and she began to wipe her tears away, beginning to form a newfound smile. Matt approached her and finished wiping away evidence of her anguish before placing a hand on her shoulder.
Matt: …welcome to the family.
With her grin widening, Lauren jumped up into Matt's arms and gave him a heartfelt embrace. Matt almost began tearing up as he set Lauren down and allowed her to embrace her new uncle Anthony. Mrs. Terry then received her embraces as Lauren suddenly reached up and gave Matt a small kiss on the cheek.
Lauren: Thank you so much… Uncle Matt and Uncle Anthony.
Matt blushed, much to Lauren's surprise: the same man that she had watched thrown through tables and busted open almost every night of his life had blushed, all because of a small token of affection from his niece. Matt and Anthony couldn't help but smile before the two turned on their heels and began to walk out of the house.
Matt: Well, we got a world tour to prepare for. Thanks for coming clean and again… Welcome to the family, Lauren. Mrs. Terry.
Mrs. Terry: Call me Diane.
A small wink then followed and Matt and Anthony waved to signal their departure, shutting the door on their way out. As they walked towards the vehicle, Kenji joined in their smiling, having felt good about their family reunion. Inside the home, Lauren and her mom embraced each other closely, finally having a large weight lifted off of their backs and sending them on the correct path to a more content life.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:34:17 GMT -5
“BETTER LATE THAN NEVER” Credit: Thunderkiss GENTLEMEN, BRING ON THE BITCHES! [Judging by the commotion in the room not a soul objects. From the bathroom comes a half a dozen ladies, each sporting attire befitting of their title (though in a few seconds, you’d never know for it will not stay on for long). Welcome to TK’s belated bachelor’s party. With all the responsibilities that a ring on the finger brings, it was only fitting that such a party be had, late or not. The man of the hour sits front and center, his eyes drinking up every curve of flesh that tempts his inhibitions. Considering there are more curves in front of him than Lombard Street in San Francisco, it’s safe to say that these inhibitions will not remain inhibited for much longer.] Thunderkiss: Shit girl, you oughtta’ be required to put some back up beepers on that ass! Damn![He can only take so much before he gives into his desires. From behind Thunderkiss grabs the stripper and forces her upon his lap. There, the stripper takes pleasure in the attention he has given her and returns the favor by gyrating her hips against his crotch. Her head leans onto his shoulder, her hand around clutches back of his head and her soft voice finds its way into his ear.] Stripper: Oh, aren’t you a bad[/b] boy. I’m not so sure you wife would approve of this behavior, mister. Thunderkiss: Oh, she don’t mind, sexy momma; she’s too busy at home cleaning the kitchen to care! Now come here, let good ol’ TK floss his teeth with your g-string! Stripper: Oh, you’re going to have to shell out a whole lot more before I even entertain the thought. Thunderkiss: Will this cover it?[Is that a wad of money in his pocket or is he happy to see her? The answer is both.] Stipper: Cha- CHING.Thunderkiss: I’ll take that as a yes. Oh the things I’m going to do to that firm, juicy a - TURN THE MUSIC OFF Thunderkiss: What the fuck?[An authoritative voice booms over the music, the crowd and even Thunderkiss himself. An impressive feat to say the least. Ready to introduce his knuckles to the source of this buzz kill, Thunderkiss tosses his dinner off his lap and stands at attention. The sound of his cracking knuckles silences the crowd even more as they begin to fear for their own personal safely. Just when it appears a showdown is immanent, his hot temper quickly cools the second his eyes uncover the mystery of the party crasher.] Gingerdude: Party’s over, people, head back to your locker rooms if your staff; hit the doors if you aren’t. Anyone who chooses to object will not talk to me, they will talk to these gentlemen. [Ginger nods to several members of his security forces that construct a most imposing shadow behind him.] Thunderkiss: Who the hell do you think you are?Gingerdude: Last time I checked, the Chairman of this company and my name is on the deed for this arena. Let me make myself perfectly clear before you even think about opening that filth hole on your face, I am calling the shots here and if you don’t like it, I’ll show you the door. I may not be able to terminate your contract but I sure as hell don’t have to send “work” your way either. I don’t care HOW much money you bring in or HOW many tickets you sell. At this point, it would be worth the headache of the fans to wash my hands clean of you once and for all. Thunderkiss: Well, ain’t somebody playing with power or what?! Pfffffft, HAH! Gingerdude: You think I’m joking? Well, let this put a smile on your face. My daughter’s marriage with you is now in the process of being annulled. In just a few days, this entire incident will be behind her and she can finally start the healing process. At this point or before, If you ever come near here again I swear I’ll - Thunderkiss *interrupting*: Nuh-uh, I don’t think so.Gingerdude: Oh come off it, Thunderkiss. Why would you even care? You and I both know you care absolutely nothing for her. This party being all the proof I need. Thunderkiss: I care a lot for the family, Gingersnap. I take my role as husband slash father very seriously! I’m ready to go home and be a family man, I’ll tell you! Why, I know full well that someone needs to support Anna & Dillon, and you ...errrr.. I will do just that! Gingerdude: Oh, so that is your angle, hm? To get into my wallet. If it’s a court battle you want, then it’s a court battle you’ll get. You may rule the ring, Thunderkiss, but *I* rule the legal realm. Your hefty contract will not be able to support what I’ll throw at you, you can take that to the bank. Literally. [Ginger looks TK square in the eye and doesn’t flinch. To do this to a man double your size with more muscles on his arm than you have on your entire body takes guts and a father defending his daughter’s honor has plenty of them. When it’s all said and done with, Ginger’s effort actually rattles Thunderkiss. Never before has he seen his boss like this and that says a lot considering all he’s done to him over the years. Never one to allow others to see anything but a strong and confident man, Thunderkiss pretends he is as cool as an ice cube and puts his arms behind his head while he rests couch that is now empty all thanks to Gingerdude.] Thunderkiss: Bah.[FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:34:38 GMT -5
Segment save for Mainer.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:34:53 GMT -5
Segment: The touring of tour and stuff (Credit: XS3)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 Maple Creek, Saskatchewan 12:04 PM
One day removed from letting water between the Irvine and Terry families flow under the bridge (though it could be disputed that it was hardly a conflict in the first place), Matt Irvine sat at the kitchen table with a cell phone in his hand, a tall glass of Coke and a carriage containing his son Corey. Dressed in a pair of jeans, a System of a Down shirt and a pair of socks, he smiled as he softly rocked the carriage. On his phone, Matt was discussing the matters of the Road Steelers Re-Appreciation Night for Thursday. He had to; he was the MC for the whole thing. Planning was his priority although there wasn't much required.
Matt: Yeah, yeah, pedestals, boxes… It's all for the appreciation show for Moscow. …all right, thanks. Bye.
With a quick flick of the wrist, the phone was closed and Matt was free from the business aspect of his job for now. Personal issues could now come his way as he turned back to Corey, who softly cooed at his father. Matt beamed with pride at his now one-month-old son before randomly looking up. The person who entered his sights next was Christine, donning a t-shirt and spandex shorts. Matt could tell an indication of her recent awakening; she was not wearing any make-up yet. Christine softly gave a half-smile before looking back down at the floor. Matt nodded solemnly before standing up from his chair and grabbing his wife from under her legs, lifting her up and cradling her in his arms.
Matt: What's the matter?
Christine: I'm sad.
Matt: No reason?
Christine: No…
Matt: Anything I can do to make it better?
Christine: Yeah…
Christine grabbed Matt by the head and brought him in closer.
Christine: DON'T LEAVE!
Matt shook a little bit, startled, and paused to look over at Corey. The noise from his mother seemingly rolled right past him, as he was fast asleep. Matt shot Christine a bemused look, as she shrugged and coyly grinned. Matt carried her over to the couch and sat down with her, causing her to lay back. Matt pulled a small bit of her shirt up and playfully ran a finger around her belly button.
Matt: Look if I had it my way, I'd stay home with Corey and you. That's definitely what I want to be doing in the near future. But right now, I've had to commit to this stupid tour thing. I still plan on thinking about you and phoning you every day of the week… Or better yet, why don't you just come along?
Christine: Well, I'm worried about Corey being in Europe. Plus, taking him backstage and seeing all those corrupt assholes roaming around. Especially Train.
Matt: What's wrong--
Small pause.
Matt: Riiiiiiight, the eating our son thing.
Christine: Theeeeeere ya go.
Matt: I know my friends have their flaws. It's only natural that they do… Everyone does. We're only human. We all have the urge to act out and do things we're not supposed to do. Be it Train attempting to eat our son… or Jake forgoing his workout… or Lee's supposed interaction with you… What the hell did you two do again?
Christine: …at this rate, I'm not even sure what happened anymore. But there was no sex involved, thank god.
Matt: Heh, I can always count on you to be honest.
Matt leaned in without a word and planted a kiss on his wife's ever-welcoming lips, holding it there for a good ten seconds. Sure enough, the two released once the door to the house opened. In stepped Ken Dante, Anthony Thompson and Kenji Kobayasha, donned in their paintball apparel. The couple stood up from the loveseat and Matt gave Ken a high-five and bro hug.
Matt: So how's the therapy going? Think you're over her yet?
Ken nodded with a small smile on his face, having recently broken up with his girlfriend and former Thunderkiss valet, Joanna Garland.
Ken: Well, I'm glad the split was amicable. I didn't want any of that high school bullshit to deal with. Anyway, yeah man! Paintball is a badass way to get over it. I just pretend Anthony is Joanna and I shoot him down!
An awkward silence.
Ken: HA! Just fucking with you. I'm still friends with her. And Anthony ain't one you wanna shoot down!
Ken grabbed Anthony and gave a noogie before patting him on the shoulder.
Anthony: …I hope you get a pancake shoved up your ass.
Kenji burst out laughing while giving a "WTF" look directed towards Fox's comment. Matt laughed and ran into the kitchen, pausing to check up on Corey and kiss him gently on the forehead. Matt then grabbed a tray with glasses of Coke on them. Everyone took their glass and raised it.
Matt: Brothers… Babe… Here's to a successful month in ACW. May our combined forces and friendships and all the clichés that I'm struggling to pull out of my ass crumble every obstacle in our way.
Everyone: Cheers.
With a hearty swig from each glass, the five continued off on their day. For Ken, Anthony and Kenji, there was fun to be had, considering that they were still looking for jobs around Maple Creek. For Matt and Christine, Corey was their top priority as well as Matt packing for the European tour. Deep down inside, he was dreading this tour. He wanted to be around for Corey to say his first word and had reflected on all the stuff he was missing out on at home because of his commitments to ACW. Fortunately for him, he knew Christine understood and with her support, he would continue forth in ACW…
But for how long, XS3 only knew. And he preferred to keep it that way.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:35:19 GMT -5
OTA Segment: Who the hell? ( Credit: ?? & Hollywood Mach) The scene opens up to the great Canadian Superstar Hollywood Mach who is in some training gear and has a towel around his neck and dabbing his forehead which leads to one believing that he just had an intense workout session. Hollywood Mach: Wooo what an intense workout session! Talk about workin' them guns!As he approaches his locker room with an elegant and fancy name plate on the door, he finds an envelope on the door titled for the former champ, RDK takes the envelope in his hands looks around to see if he spots anybody around (which he doesn't) and then begins to read it out loud. Hollywood Mach: Yes, yes I am Mr. Hollywood! The Feature Presentation!That comment gets a smirk on his face. At this time of completing the letter, Mach has made his way into his locker room and has sat down in a plush over sized chair. [/i][/center] Hollywood Mach: Pfft....fans, gotta love em'....although some of them are kinda creepy sometimes.The Mach crumples up the note and tosses it behind him then picks up a magazine and begins to read it. [Fade Out]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:35:39 GMT -5
Being Schizo is the Latest Mental Trend Dan White The camera fades in to what has been a pretty eventful Meltdown as it is, and it's about to get more eventful, as Dan White is shown on camera, making his way out of the parking lot. He ought to be a bit relieved that he's in this position; I mean after all, he managed to significantly aid The Empire in their first ever stable victory, against a trio of formidable men, including the impressive Dave Shadow. Indeed, Dan managed to take n two of the three by himself, and win the match.Dan White: Ah, man alive. I could do with relieving my bladder. An apt way of starting April off. He walks through a door, and first door in the right is a unisex toilet. One that's never really been noticed before in ACW, but then there's never been any reason to notice it. Dan walks in, drops his gym bag at the side of the urinal, and the camera appropriately shoots from behind the Welsh Dragon, as he unzips and begins to relieve the beast.
But this isn't going to be a segment for all you watersports fans. Something's about to happen, and it happens with the flick of a switch, and the lights go out. Dan White: AHH!! Jeez, who the fuck is that?! The cry from Dan implies he's been spooked quite badly, but there's more to come, as the same, distinctive yet familiar voice from last Saturday responds to him.Voice: So, Dan. Take any notice to the things we spoke about the other day? Dan White: What the hell is this?! You made me piss down my leg! These trousers cost a lot of money! Voice: True, but what use are they, in the dark? It's absolutely pitch black. Dan's peeing stops, showing signs of him being so creeped out that he can't piss in the dark with a mysterious voice talking to him. Understandable, when you think about it.Dan White: Alright, pal. Stop with the cheesy wise cracks. Who are you and why are you following me about like this? Voice: It's pretty simple, Dan. I want to guide you in the way. At this moment in time, you can only see darkness around you. I want to help you see the light. And I can help you see the light. Dan White: Oh, I get it. The lights thing. How metaphorical. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of flattery. Or something like that.Dan White: Just tell me what you want with me, yeah? Voice: You have to be weary of your surroundings. Don't trust anyone until you know what's going on for certain. And most of all, stay clear of all potential rivals for the foreseeable future. A somewhat reasonable request, but not with Fallen Heroes around the corner.Dan White: Yeah mate, so with the biggest match of my life around the bend, I should shut up shop and leave? Whatever man, that's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. What's the worst that can happen. Am I going to be attacked by a bunch of demons? Swallowed up by a troll? You have gotta be pretty dumb if you think I believe in any of that crap. There's a slight pause, as Dan waits for the voice.Voice: Very well. But you'll soon come to realise that my words are wiser than you assumed. Dan White: Whatever. Just turn these lights back on. After a moment's pause, the lights turn back on, and Dan looks around, mouth open, trying to see who's playing tricks on him.Dan White: Damn, I bet it's that little shit Freeman, or someone. Well, we'll have to find out another day.
Fade
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:36:46 GMT -5
Match 2: Rena Matheson vs. Brent Garland (Credit: Dan White)
Will be posted when recieved from Mr. White
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:37:15 GMT -5
Segment: Who Dun It? (Credit: Train/?) ACW returns from a commercial break and right away Gourmet Race Metal Mix plays over the arena. The crowd stands on their feet and cheers as Thunder Train walks out with his newly won International Championship on his shoulder. He has a big smile on his face as he steps onto the ramp. Train raises up his title and a few fireworks go off on the stage. Train continues down to the ring, slapping a few hands of some fans. He walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. Right away he grabs a microphone. Thunder Train: LOOK AT THIS BABY! Thunder Train has finally done it! The Train is now your new ACW International Champion. Train raises up his championship once more. The crowd cheers.Thunder Train: I've worked my ass off for two months but I was finally able to do it! I was finally able to beat Mach and his posse to win this championship. And, unlike Mach, I'm not gonna run away to Hollywood and turn my back on you fans. The Train knows he couldn't have done it without the great fans out there, especially here in Moscow Russia! (Haha BK!) Cheap pops FTW! The crowd cheersThunder Train: Look at what I was able to do to the Mach. I threw him through Scientologists, I beat up his buddies, I almost out scooted him to the arena. But most of all, I threw his ass off the top of that stage right there. He came crashing all the way down. I wish you could have heard his screams! Oh man were they funny."Thunder Train!" "Thunder Train!" "Thunder Train!"Thunder Train: And to commemorate my incredible championship win, I celebrated all week with some Russian cuisine! Things such as, Pelmeni, Pirozhki Tyurya, Botvin`ya and Okroshka! I can't believe I said those right! I guess all food speaks the same language. A collective laugh is heard. Train smirks but then gets a serious look on his face.Thunder Train: However, not all was great this past weekend. While I was out wrestling my match, SOMEBODY -- no...SOMEBODIES came inside of the Road Steeler's locker room and took my sister! They kidnapped her! Didn't leave a note, or any sort of reason why they did it! So, I'm using this time to also ask of the person who kidnapped my sister to come forth. To stand up and be a man or they can go home and be a family man. I just want to know who is behind all of this. Hell, if you even know anything please call 1-800-OMNOMIWANTMAHSISTERBACK with any information you have. I also want to take this time to--Thunder Train is cut off by the lights going out. The crowd is in a bit of a frenzy, not knowing what the hell is going on. Suddenly, the Alphatron turns a very bright white. A message appears on it shortly after.YOU DON'T KNOW TRAIN? YOU DON'T KNOW WHO WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR SISTER?
SOMEONE TRIED TO STEELE HER
PERHAPS IT WAS SOMEONE FROM THE BLACKNESS. [/LEFT] OR MAYBE SOMEONE FROM THE SHADOWS OF ACW YOU BETTER BE 500% SURE BEFORE YOU TAKE ACTION I'LL BE WAITING....
*EXPLOSION* [/center][/b] Pyros light up the stage and the lights turn back on. Train is standing in the ring with a very strange look on his face. The message confused him just as much as everyone else. The crowd stays mostly quiet with a few more Thunder Train chants starting up. Train looks around him a bit, expecting someone. When he realizes that nobody is coming he puts the microphone back up his mouth.Thunder Train: Alright....I don't know what all that was about, but as I was saying, I also have some footage that will be shown later tonight of an investigation following my match.
Now, regarding my match with Chris Phenomenal, I have some words for Mr. CP tonight. Now CP, you and me have had a few run ins with each other over the past month, hell, I'll even give it to you, you even punked me out on one of them. But rest assured that after tonight is over, I will be through with the MegaStar Alliance, not only will I have taken out Mach, but you as well. So if I were you, I would be sure to wear my helmet because I know how much of a special person you are. I'll see you in the ring buddy...Gourmet Race Metal Mix starts up again and Train raises his title up in the air. The crowd cheers once again as Train leaves the ring to head back up the stage. Train's mind set is a very mixed pace right now. For one, he is ecstatic as can be from winning the title, but his emotions are running crazy with the recent kidnapping of his sister. Will Train overcome the odds and beat CP? Tune in to find out!
Fade out.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:38:03 GMT -5
“THUNDERBALL” Credit: Hollywood Mach, Thunderkiss “What’s he doing here?!”
“What’s HE doing HERE, Brud!?” [/color] [It’s perplexity in stereo. Each ear of William Charles Wilcox gets a heavy dose of questioning as both his clients come face to face in a meeting they expected to be a little less crowded. Over the last month Wilcox has had to expand his duties to include the role of peacemaker and today is certainly no different. He puts his best face forward and does his best to defuse this situation before it can ignite any powder keg.] WCW: Aw come on gentlemen, you both partake in a sport that doesn’t require a great deal of brain power but surely you can figure it out. I knew neither one of you would come if you knew the other would be here. Yes, I tricked you, but for good reason. Hollywood: Willy, the Mach’ is getting itchy just standing next to this guy. I don’t want to catch a S.T.D., brudah![/color] Thunderkiss: The only thing you can catch from me is some skill and “brudah,” you need some! Losing to Thunder Train? I mean, seriously. WCW: Enough! Cut the bullshit, fellas. I’ve got something to say and trust me, you’ll both want to hear it. [When Wilcox talks, you listen. A man who doesn’t believe in drama, his overzealous nature captivates the attention of both his clients. Their tongues are silenced, for now.] WCW: This past weekend M.G.M. reached out and touched someone, that someone being me. They knew that I represented the both of you and thus I would be the expert in answering some questions they had about a possible future role in the next James Bond flick. Namely which one of you would be the best to fit the bill. Hollywood: Well, looks like I am going to be giving ol' Daniel Craig the Rock Bottom! YEAAAAAAAAH!Thunderkiss: You mean fetching Daniel Craig his coffee. Wilcox, please tell me you gave them my name and not the name of an incompetent try-hard.WCW: I am going to be totally honest and tell you exactly what I told them. I cannot decide. You both are fully capable of taking this part and turning it into the performance that steals the movie. Before either of you question my motives, you should both know better than anyone else that I do not bullshit. I am not playing peacemaker here. If I truly believe either one of you was better for the part, I would have told them, consequences be damned. Thunderkiss: So now what? They are going to go with someone else because you couldn’t make up your damn mind?WCW: Check the tone, Kiss and no, no they are not. They are committed to either of you and I asked them if I could postpone my decision. They agreed. So that’s the problem gentlemen, here is the solution. We are going to do this the old fashioned way. You two dislike each other - Hollywood *interrupting*: Hate would be the more appropriate word.[/color] WCW: Fine with me. You two hate each other? Good. At Fallen Heroes, you two can hate away all you want inside the ring. The winner walks out with bragging rights and a feature role in the next James Bond film. It’s fair, it’s fun and most importantly, it sells a ton of tickets. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have nothing further to say and I’d rather not partake in the dick measuring contest that will undoubtedly follow. Good day. [Wilcox leaves the room and an uncomfortable silence replaces him, albeit temporary. Very temporary.] Thunderkiss: You may think you’re all “Hollywood” now Mach, but the truth of the matter is that you’re nothing more than a hick from Canada. The ultimate poser. You better think twice if you’re going to come into MY town and try to take food off MY table.Hollywood: And let me tell you something, brudah. You may think you’re all “legendary” now, but the truth of the matter is you’re nothing more than a jockstrap holder. The ultimate poser. You better think twice if you’re going to come into MY ACW and take food off MY table. Be it Jemima or Jabroni, Sliiima or Pepperoni - the result remains the same! Hollywood Mach is THE CREAM OF THE CROP![/color] Thunderkiss: Oh, what do you know? The “great” Macho Man copying something that I do. What’s that tell ya, Mach?Hollywood: It says whatever you do, I can do ten times better! AND NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - THAN THE MACHO MAN Arrrr-Deee-Kayyy! [Both men come face to face, nose to nose. Each can taste the other’s ego as only a few inches space separate them from ripping themselves, and the entire locker room for that matter, apart. In the end however, cooler heads prevail or perhaps one should say “smarter.” Knowing full well that a full scale conflict here would lead to nothing more than personal satisfaction, they scale back their disdain for each other and file it away where it will fester within. Over time they will add more hate to it until it reaches critical mass. Then, and only then, will they release it inside a contest properly equipped to contain it. Fallen Heroes. [FADE]
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:39:01 GMT -5
Segment: Born to be Wild (Credit: Lee) Throughout the course of the last month or so, two titans named Lee Homicide and Thunderkiss have fought for supremacy over the one thing that matters the most in a rivalry of this caliber: the fans. And so far, things appear to be at a standstill. Thunderkiss fired the opening shot of this publicity battle, but Lee Homicide has fought back majestically. Every charity event, autograph session, photoshoot, etc, that Thunderkiss has attended, Lee Homicide has matched, and vice versa. One would have to go rewind history and relive the memories to find a match that has involved the fans as much as this one. Both men have stood before the judge and pleaded their case before the fans, but leverage has yet to be gained by either superstar. The fans seem to have turned this into their own mind game, wondering what either will do next in an attempt to break away from his opponent. You, the viewer, have enjoyed it every step of the way. Good, clean promos, non-objectionable material. This is the essence of true sports entertainment. And of course, it is appropriate for the youngsters, no matter how avidly your wife tries to pry them from the television set. Yes, you’ve been awegasming over this pairing, especially since you are a fan of both Lee Homicide and Thunderkiss and are finding it tremendously difficult to choose a favorite in this struggle. There is no doubt that the fans will be winners no matter who emerges victorious, yet you hope that the two opponents will not drive each other to enmity in this match.
Your two children are glued to the television screen, as one of their favorite shows, “Jeff Corwin: Unleashed,” is about to come on Discovery Kids. Yes, this program can be idiotic at times, and Steve Irwin will forever be the wildlife god in your eyes, but hey, if it’s educational for the kids, let them watch it. Every now and then something interesting pops up, so maybe this will be the day you actually learn something from the show.
Leaning back into your recliner, you take the newspaper out from the bin beside the La-Z-Boy and unravel it, lifting it to your eyes. In the background, the show’s theme song begins to play and your two children get all excited, bouncing up and down on the carpeted floor as you sigh and roll your eyes. The host of the show, Jeff Corwin himself, pops on to the screen as the opening video plays hyping the show and telling the audience of the exotic locations they will venture to today. Elephants. Iguanas. Lizards. Yep, sounds about the same as usual. You do smirk, however, when Jeff Corwin speaks about the macaque monkeys from Nepal that are notorious for stealing people’s laundry. Raising the newspaper up to where just a glimpse of the screen is visible above it, you shift your attention towards the front page, having half a mind to go upstairs to the bedroom and watch Gilmore Girls with your wife. But suddenly, your attention is drawn towards the television screen by a single shocking announcement from Jeff Corwin.Jeff: And let’s not forget tonight’s special guest, who will be hosting the show alongside me, ACW superstar Lee Homicide! Your eyes tear away from the newspaper and peer at the screen, as your children seem to be excited about the fact that their father is watching the show with them. The scene on the television swings away from the video and directly to an image of Jeff Corwin, who is standing on what appears to be a white-sand beach, with the rippling waves of the ocean diving into the background in unison motion. The same annoying, confident smile as always is on his nerdy face. As an adult, you are able to read into his thoughts and deduce that he wants more pay, but he has to keep a positive face for the children.Jeff: Argh, mateys! Are ye ready to embark on yet another mission of epic proportions? Well that is what “Jeff Corwin: Unleashed” does best: take you to the most exotic locations on the planet and show you some of the most bizarre creatures on God’s green earth. And no, I’m not talking about me! But before we get started on today’s action-filled trip, let me introduce you to the co-host of today’s program. Now, I’m not accustomed to having co-hosts on the show, but this man insisted on being a part of it. Boys and girls, help me give a warm welcome to a man who calls himself “Notorious One-Three-Three,” Lee Homicide! Cheesy clapping can be heard from the background as Lee Homicide walks on to the screen from the left and joins Jeff Corwin on the sandy beach. A pop-up appears, informing the audience of what Lee does for a living and his various achievements, both in the ACW and on other television shows such as “Curling with the Stars.” His attributes and information scroll across this pop-up, similar to what is usually done with specific species of animals. Jeff Corwin holds out his hand, and Lee shakes it vigorously before turning to the camera and greeting the audience.Lee: You know, it’s great to be on the show, Jeff. I’ve always dreamt of doing something like this after my body decides it is time to hang up the wrestling boots, and I’ll be happy to gain some experience in the field. There has always been something that has fascinated me about nature. So yeah, I’m excited to be here and, like you kids, ready to learn about wildlife, nature, and everything else Mr. Corwin wants to teach us today. So, Jeff, I’m ready when you are. What are we going to be learning about today? In response to Lee’s question, the scene fades away from the two hosts and zooms in on the oceanfront, where dozens of tiny creatures are busy shuffling around, attempting to gather food and build shelters. But there is one larger than all the rest: the marine iguana. The same pop-up that appeared for Lee Homicide previously now appears for the iguana, with a better picture of it and various facts and statistics about the species.Jeff: The marine iguana (Amblyrhynchus cristatus) is the only lizard adapted to live by the sea and be at home in the surf. Presumably descended from some type of continental American land iguana, they probably reached the islands clinging to flotsam, able to survive because they could tolerate immersion in salt water and long periods of complete starvation. The marine iguana is huge, three to four feet long with the length evenly divided between body and tail. The marine iguana is a stout animal with strong limbs, a dragon like head and horny scales along its spine. Its feet have five toes and strong claws to clutch the rocks in the strong surf. Its snout is blunt and foreshortened, enabling it to scrape algae from the rocks. Its tail is flattened on the sides and serves as both a propulsion force and rudder in the water. Though a good swimmer, it only takes to the water to feed. It has the habit of squirting water to spit and snort out surplus salt. Lee: Damn--I mean--dang, that face is ugly! You know, that picture really makes the marine iguana look like Chris Phenomenal. You know, big guy, just a tad overweight. Ick, yeah the body is certainly CP’s, but the face reminds me of someone else...hmmm...who is it? With the description of him being horny and all I would say it reminds me of--wait, am I even allowed to say that? Bah, edit it out later. But yeah, the nose certainly looks familiar. Belongs to a certain buddy of mine, Jeff Hardy. So the marine iguana has a habit of snorting salt out its nose to gain energy. Yeah, so that’s a bit disgusting. Jeff does the exact opposite. Instead of snorting something out, he snorts it in, but yeah, you kids will learn what I’m talking about when you grow up. Jeff glances nervously to the side at Lee, wondering how much of this show he is actually going to have to edit out. He sighs, smirks, and begins to shake his head as the scene zooms out from them and goes out over the ocean, where it begins to zoom forward at such a rapid pace that the viewer cannot help but get dizzy as the water scrolls down the screen. Eventually, the scene begins to fade to white and it immediately cuts away to where Jeff Corwin and Lee Homicide are standing, this time not by the ocean’s edge, but in a dense jungle deep within the heart of the Nepalese natural metropolis. Dozens of monkeys, among which are howlers, white-faced, and even some gorillas, swing among the vines overhead, causing the heat of the jungle to be amplified by the warm glances and stares which seem to emanate from every direction. Off in the distance, a village of an ominous Nepalese native tribe sits along the outskirts of the jungle, sitting in a circle around what appears to be the “town center”. They are glaring suspiciously at Lee, Jeff, and the crewmen, who do not seem to pay the least bit of attention to them. The camera pans across the canopy above, getting several glimpses of primates.Jeff: Those animals swinging in the canopy above us are known as macaque monkeys. Normally, this species does not live so near to the human race, but interesting circumstances have driven the monkeys to build their homes near the outskirts of the jungle. Watch closely and see if you can notice anything peculiar. Lee: You mean even more peculiar than standing out here in the sun and frying our as--butts off? Just kidding, Jeff. You know I’m having a good time. So, from the show notes, I hear that these macaque monkeys are supposed to be thieves, sort of like raccoons back in the states or my girlfriend at my Senior prom. Let’s see what they are after. The camera follows the monkeys as they cautiously swing across the vines, finally reaching their destination. They lower themselves from the trees and make their way towards the village, whose inhabitants do not seem to have noticed them. Two men stand at the doorway off a hut, guarding it, but the monkeys just climb up through the window. They are invisible from sight for a few seconds, but after a while, two of them emerge carrying a spotless t-shirt, which is soon blemished by the dust of the jungle floor. Soon after, two more pop up carrying a pair of blue jean shorts, and a third finally comes out wearing a pair of underwear around his head. Before the villagers can realize what is going on, the monkeys have climbed back onto the tree and swung off towards their abode.Jeff: As you can see, the macaque monkeys are literally laundry thieves. Every day, they sneak into the village and carry off three, four, sometimes even five articles of clothing. But these clothes do not go to waste. With them, the monkeys are able to make nests, which would be impossible to construct with the moist grass and humid condition of the tree leaves. Lee: That’s very interesting, Jeff. It reminds me of a good friend of mine, Jake Steele, who is always walking out of my locker room with my best clothes. I don’t really have any proof that it’s him, but for some reason my clothes begin to disappear after he has made one of his weekly visits. Wait until I tell him there’s a whole species that takes after his deceptive characteristics. Jeff smirks and shakes his head as the scene once again goes blurry and fades away. Several other species are shown in the show, including a lizard that can clean its eyes with its tongue because of its lack of eyelids and a poisonous snake that has enough venom to take down an elephant with a single puncture of its fangs. As the show reaches its end, the audience has learned a great deal about each of these species, but one remains. Ever since the start of the show, Lee Homicide has been promising to reveal a new species and has even gotten Jeff Corwin himself exciting about it. Now, since the show is only five minutes away from finalizing, the time has arrived to unveil the name of the new animal species. The scene opens up inside an ACW locker room, where pictures of several different superstars crowd the walls. Jeff Corwin looks confused at why Lee Homicide has brought him here, as this is supposed to be a show about wildlife.Jeff: Erm, Lee, well, no offense, but I thought you were going to show us a brand new species. What can possibly be living here that we haven’t already seen before? Lee: Trust me, you’re about to find out. Are we ready? Ok, well, I know I promised to reveal a new animal to you guys, but I have to admit that I stretched the truth a little. You see, this animal is known to some, but he has yet to get the recognition he deserves. Living always in the shadows, this specific animal dreams of one day reaching the top of the food chain. He is always hungry, yet every time he pounces at the ultimate prey, it manages to slip from his grasp. This, however, instead of disillusioning him, only makes him hungrier. Power, fame, recognition. This species diet consists of those three things. I must say that I have the unique honor of knowing this species better than perhaps anyone else in the animal kingdom, and he deserves to be treated with much more respect than he is presently given. I suppose you need an image of him, so here it is. Lee: Thunderkissis muscolitis. As you can see, a surprisingly well-built specimen, indeed. More mighty than an elephant. More fierce than the mighty lion. And with a greater taste for power than Gingerdude himself. I would go so far as to say that this may very well be the missing link evolutionists have been searching for. Although he takes on the form of a human, no man can possess such brute strength and power. Thunderkiss truly is...a Worldbreaker. And he’s turning his power level all the way up to 500% just to face me. My goal will be to exorcise Demonkiss. A lofty challenge indeed, yet one I have confidence in achieving. But to do it, I need all you little guys to come out to the ACW Arena this Thursday, stand outside the arena, and chant Lee Homicide’s name as he arrives in his limousine. Only then will we be able to learn more about this amazing creature that is Thunderkiss. I believe that about wraps up this show of Jeff Corwin: Unleashed, but tune in this Thursday for the next episode, Thunderkiss: Demonkiss Unleashed. The credits begin to roll as Lee Homicide smiles out at the audience. The battle rages on. Lee Homicide has thrown another piece of bait out for the fans to catch, hoping to reel them in. Will Thunderkiss rise to the challenge? That remains to be seen.
Fade.
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Post by Jonny Spade on Apr 2, 2009 15:39:57 GMT -5
Segment: Shower for Two? (Credit: Thunder Train/Thunderkiss)
We open inside of an empty living roomish area. No noise is heard other then water trickling down somewhere. As the camera pans around we see clothes scattered everywhere leading to a door. The door is slightly cracked open and some signing can be heard. The camera man, the total pervert that he is, opens the door some more and we see a large man standing in the shower.
?: They try to tell us we don't belong, that's alright, were millions strong! This is my music, it makes me proud, these are my people and this is my crowd! These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights!
Oh great, Thunderkiss in a shower? This can't end well! As Thunderkiss sings along, his door begins to rumble. It is kicked in but because of his ear shattering lyrics, Thunderkiss is unable to hear it. In walks Thunder Train, with the most pissed off look on his face since ever. He goes into the bathroom and turns off the lights.
Thunderkiss: Groupies, gotta love ‘em. Well alright, mystery woman, come soap up my buns of steel!
Thunder Train: I don't have time for your games Kiss.
Thunderkiss: TRAIN?! WHAT THE FUCK, BROTHER! I always knew you’d come crawling back to apologize for ditching me for Steele but don’t you think you can wait until I am a bit less naked? Especially if you are into that kinda thing, of course. Who am I to judge?
Train turns back on the lights and Kiss opens up the shower door slightly and makes eye contact with Kiss.
Thunder Train: Where is she you stupid son of a bitch?!
Thunderkiss: I’ll answer that question under one condition, James. You tell me what the fuck you’re talking about first!
Thunder Train: My sister! I know you kidnapped her you sick freak! I want her back and I want her right now!
Thunderkiss: You want her back right now, eh? The tone in your voice sounds a bit incestuous, if you ask me.
Thunder Train: Don't play dumb with me! I know what you are up to! You kidnapped her because you are still butt hurt over me picking the Road Steelers! You need to grow up buddy.
Thunderkiss: I need to grow up?! Hah! Go fetch Steele’s bags and get the hell out of my locker room! Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. First, I didn’t even know you had a sister. Second, is she hot?
Train doesn't smile at Kiss' comments. He walks over to the toilet and puts his hand on it.
Thunderkiss: Train? Train, what the hell are you doing? Oh I see! You are gonna take a piss in MY bathroom! Well, isn’t that’s just great. You might as well take a big shit in front of me while you’re at it.
Thunder Train: If you don't tell me where she is, I flush this and you get boiling hot water dumped on you. Now, I'm not gonna ask this again, tell me where she is...
Thunderkiss: Threatening people when they are vulnerable? I've taught you well! Now, as for your sister, I am being serious, I have no fucking idea where she is. Now I’m asking you for the last time. Get. The. Fuck. Out.
Thunder Train: You aren't giving me the answers I want NOW DAMMIT! TELL ME WHERE MY SISTER IS!
Train inches his hand closer to the handle...knob thing...
Thunderkiss: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU FUCKING ROAD STEELERS THINKING I'M ALWAYS DOING STUFF TO YOU?!?! You losers don’t know the first rule when it comes to vendettas. ALWAYS make sure you got the right man before you end up with a bigger problem on your hands than what you first started out with.
Thunder Train: Oh come on Thunderkiss, don't give me that shit. You wanna know why we accuse you? It's because you are the most likely person to do it! Who else is sex crazed enough to want to take a close to 400 pound woman?
Thunderkiss: Well I can see why she's related to you now!
Thunder Train: Now...are you going to give me an answer?
Thunderkiss: Hey wait a second...I've been talking to you through this thing, why can't I just open the door all the way...
Thunderkiss pushes the door but it doesn't budge any further. He looks down and sees something blocking the door that is unmovable from where he is. Train laughs at Kiss' attempt to push the door out.
Thunderkiss: So now you fuck with my shower? Real funny Train, open this up and I'll give you something to laugh at, crackerjack, and if you say a penis joke right now so help me -
Thunder Train *interrupting*: No, fuck that. No more games Kiss, tell me what I want to know.
The two stare at each other and both don't move. Train has his hand on the handle...knob thing and is about to push it down. Kiss stands in the shower but is unable to do much of anything else. He tries to turn off the water, but Train rigged that also so it wouldn't turn off.
Thunder Train: FINE! HERE WE GO--
Thunderkiss: WAIT! WAIT! Alright! I did see something!
Thunder Train: WHAT?
Thunderkiss: All I saw was a car driving with three men inside it. It seemed kinda kinky.
Thunder Train: What kind of car was it?
Thunderkiss: I don't know, I think it was a limo or something. I only saw it speed away. Honest. Now will you leave?!?!
Thunder Train: Alright...
Thunder Train steps away but double takes and flushes the toilet anyway. Train then hurries out of the room and out back into the hallway. Kiss didn't see him do this but the effect soon takes place. Slowly, Kiss feels himself becoming hotter and hotter.
Thunderkiss: MOTHER FUCK!!!
Fade out...
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